Ok, we have raised enough to pay server costs through the end of May, so we are closing down the fundraiser. Thanks to everyone! I also feel confident enough in our financial status that I will be working to remove the one banner ad from our mobile site that you fatfingered fuckers apparently simply can not tolerate, so YAY this means you will be happy and also I will be happy because I will not have to talk to Watergirl about it every week.
In all seriousness, thanks to everyone who gave! I am also not adding anymore ways to fund the site- if it can not be done with paypal, zelle, venmo, patreon, and snail mail, it just ain’t happening. Hell, I think the only thing left is an Onlyfans account.
Also, someone shit in the shower while I was sleeping and I did not notice until after I turned the water on and the steamy smell covered the entire second floor. Happy fucking Saturday.
I just know it was Thurston, the bastard.
Miss Bianca
Oh, dear, John! Sorry to LOL at your situation – or should it be “shituation”?
I need to check my PayPal history and make sure I checked “money to a friend” rather than “services”. That will be my useful deed for the day.
jeffreyw
A new fragrance called Eau de Pepe will cut right through the dog poop odor.
Alison Rose
Starring Steve, of course.
Danielx
What a wonderful way to begin the day.
KenK
John, I was no where near to your home, let alone your shower…
Citizen_X
Needs to be a rotating tagline.
p.a.
What about barter?
kindness
Autumn cold has finally arrived here in Ca and I’ve started closing the door from the kitchen to the garage. Most the year it’s open & the kids go out the critter door in the garage to the back yard any time they please. Now they have to wait till I get up to be able to go out. They never like that, but they don’t pay my heating bills.
Omnes Omnibus
Are you that far removed from life in the Army? It looks like you have a mad shitter. According to a 1st Sergeant who explained the phenomenon to a few if us LTs who were disgust that someone had shat in the barracks shower: One of of every hundred soldiers is affected, but it takes a variety of forms. Some like ours and yours simply leave shits in unlikely places. Others will use it ti write on walls. Others – and he here he said we did not want to know – did other unspeakable things. So, in conclusion, be happy yours is a shower mad shitter not an unspeakable one.
Betty Cracker
Oh Thurston, how could you? ?
Nicole
That’s great news; so glad to be a part of this community and help support it.
Thinking this morning about how I originally started visiting here to try to get an idea of what the conservative point of view was. Heh.
Also, I have tiny squirrel paws but that banner ad at the top really does get tricky to make go away on mobile devices, so if that’s the one you’re axing, thank you (and if not, le sigh, but fine. It’s a banner ad, not brain surgery).
WereBear
It’s a way of marking territory. Even in angry male soldiers, I guess.
different-church-lady
How would Adam Sandler modify “MacArthur Park”?
Inexplicably popular SNL Cast Members for $600, the Benevolent Spirit of Alex…
Leto
@Alison Rose: John passed on his OnlyFans career when he stopped nakkid shower mopping.
planetjanet
My check is in the mail!
Leto
@Omnes Omnibus: we had mad shitters at some of our deployed locations. The fact we had to have placards up in the bathroom trailers saying, “DON’T SHIT IN THE SHOWERS” was just a constant reminder to always have your shower shoes on, and to look on aghast/disbelief at the ones who didn’t.
Amir Khalid
@Citizen_X:
Or a band name.
Betty Cracker
@Omnes Omnibus: I worked in an office building that had a mad shitter. He or she deposited turds into random trash baskets — in a break room, in people’s cubicles, in a conference room. The culprit was never apprehended, AFAIK.
dexwood
Happy to help out. I learn much, laugh a lot, find comfort here. Thanks for killing the banner ads.
Sloane Ranger
Mr Cole, there is such a thing as TOO much information!
Seriously, thanks for starting and keeping this site up and running. I note the fundraiser is over but I will be sending some more once my monthly pension arrives in a few days time.
frosty
@Omnes Omnibus: Mad shitters. You learn something new every day, even at retirement age. Balloon-Juice – the full service blog!
WaterGirl
@ John Cole up top:
In my defense, may I just say that I bugged john about the annoying ads no more than every 10 days, and sometimes longer than that. So to say it is every week is a gross exaggeration. :-)
Wapiti
@Omnes Omnibus: We had one when I was working with the Army Reserves in Houston. Only happened on drill weekends, so I don’t think it was the full-timers.
Of course, after the reservists left the full-timers had to deal with the mess.
BruceFromOhio
At least it wasn’t at the bottom of the stairs. Or on the floor next to the bed.
Glad to help, now on with the show.
WaterGirl, can we order calendars yet? Solstice is coming…
narya
I’m currently signed up w/ PayPal-by-month, but I can switch to Patreon if that has fewer fees on your end . . .
Miss Bianca
@Betty Cracker: @Omnes Omnibus: Oh, man…the things I (happily) never knew existed! Mad shitters, forsooth!
Omnes Omnibus
@Miss Bianca: There are more things in heaven and earth, Miss Bianca, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
EthylEster
OT but… I put FireFox Focus on my iPhone 6 and everything loads fast. So I will be checking it out for a while.
MattF
Wikipedia covers a Japanese version of mad shitting, in great detail.
Miss Bianca
@Omnes Omnibus:
Yeah, and I obviously missed that minor classic of 16th-century dramaturgy when I was studying such, A Mad Shitter’s World, My Masters.
WereBear
A sense a groundbreaking new American novel! Now, the title… It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad Shitter’s World?
Fair Economist
An OnlyFans account could sure liven up Balloon Juice After Dark! Plus it fits with the site initials.
Mom Says I*m Handsome
The Internet experience has gone whole hog towards a “free for users but besieged by ads” model, and it’s killing all of us slowly, for a myriad of reasons obvious and not-so.* The fact that we as a community can self-fund our online presence in a few days says that people are willing to pay for good content & a pleasant experience (the “subscriber” model), and I for one would double my contribution if it meant the elimination of more ads — or at least the new one that stands between a front-page post and the comments.
* Cory Doctorow wrote an illuminating essay about what he calls surveillance capitalism here: https://onezero.medium.com/how-to-destroy-surveillance-capitalism-8135e6744d59
Jay C
I’m glad you didn’t shut the fundraiser down just yet: gave me time to get my donation in: paltry, but will probably have enough left over to buy a decent-size bottle of disinfectant for your shower.
Keep up the good work!
debbie
@Betty Cracker:
That was a disgruntled employee, which we’ve all heard so much about recently.
NotMax
Pictures or it didn’t hap–
Never mind.
:)
geg6
That’s okay. Lovey had the runs in the dining room late last night and then climbed back into bed as we slept and got dog poop detritus all over the sheets and my pillowcase. At least the shower is easy to clean and you didn’t have a smear of poop on your cheek when you woke up. She is getting a bath when my John gets home from cutting the grass at our camp. Jesus, what a morning I had.
Suzanne
@Omnes Omnibus: Anytime someone tells me that the military represent the best of America, I will reflect on what you just told me.
glc
@Nicole:
@Nicole: (I still do, but don’t tell anyone.)
WhatsMyNym
@Mom Says I*m Handsome:
Many of us use ad-blockers, so John wants to make us feel guilty if we don’t pay up.
WhatsMyNym
In Moderation –
typo in Nym
Omnes Omnibus
@Suzanne: I would posit that, if you gather 100 people together for a length of time, one of them will show mad shitting tendencies. It’s not unknown in college dorms, for example. But you do what you want. Although, I am surprised to see you kink shaming.
SFBayAreaGal
Dang, I must have got lucky, never had a mad shi*tter while I was in the Army. That included basic training, advanced training and where I was stationed.
Things I learn from all of you.
WaterGirl
@WhatsMyNym: fixed!
WaterGirl
You guys can always donate whenever you want. The PayPal link is always there in the sidebar, and I have added a link for Patreon and a link for Venmo and Zelle (they provide the info you need in order to add John/Balloon Juice as someone you pay).
That would save John having to do the ask for the fundraiser, which can’t be any fun at all. I can shamelessly promote it because it’s not my ask. :-)
Also, are you guys all aware that if you click on the Amazon link – and then order your stuff from Amazon – then John gets a tiny cut of the money you spend?
I order from Amazon all the time and never do it through the BJ link, which is really dumb. I plan to do better, and maybe some of you can join me in that if you buy from Amazon.
MomSense
A John Cole plus menagerie Only Fans sounds awesome.
Suzanne
@Omnes Omnibus: Is mad shitting a kink? I’m thinking this is more akin to sabotage.
There go two miscreants
I guess I lucked out: was in an all-male dorm in college — communal bathroom — and never encountered that. It had one big shower area with many showerheads, so that might have been a deterrent (altho there were many occasions when I had the shower to myself).
I’ve been in for a monthly contribution for a while; continuing.
Origuy
Christmas is coming, Maybe it’s El Caganer!
(A figurine of a man depicted in the act of defecation found in Catalan nativity scenes.)
jackson
Oh John, I do love you. Too bad you’re too young for me. Otherwise perfect.
Omnes Omnibus
@Suzanne: No, there is a big difference between someone doing it as revenge or the like and being a mad shitter. It is more of a compulsive thing. From what I understand, when mad shitters are caught, they tend to be good soldiers, seemingly well adjusted otherwise and popular with their peers. The army usually seeks to get them help or eliminates them for medical reasons if that doesn’t work as opposed to punishing them.
The Lodger
@Leto: Wasn’t that a big hit for Alternate Universe Petula Clark?
EmanG
hey, @watergirl or @johncole, if I click the ad links does that give you like .oo1 cents or something? Will gladly click links all day if it helps out.
WaterGirl
@EmanG: I think that most of our ads are based on page views not clicks. But John handles all the ad stuff, so I could be wrong about that.
PJ
@Origuy: isn’t El Caganer a poster here?