THE BOOK OF TRUMP
Chapter Five
1 Cometh one to challenge Donald, and wrest power from him, according to the will and the deciding of the people.
2 And the name of the challenger is Joseph, and he is a man of decency and goodness; and his advisor is a strong woman named Kamala; their story is yet untold, and will remain so until the sound of the last trump.
Here endeth the beginning of Chapter Five.
Chapters recorded by SiubhanDuinne.
Baud
Hallelujah!
Jerzy Russian
Let’s hope that Joseph kicketh Donald of the Trump’s ass on the day of the great deciding.
SiubhanDuinne
I’m thinking that I might update Chapter Five perhaps once a week or so during the course of the campaign — depending on whatever news is dominating (and, of course, with WG’s okay, as I haven’t suggested it to her yet). Not a firm commitment, just a thought I’m toying with.
Calouste
In British slang, trump means fart.
karensky
@SiubhanDuinne: Great idea.
Danielx
Can I get a witness!
SiubhanDuinne
@Calouste:
What did you think I meant? ?
japa21
@SiubhanDuinne: If WG were to say no, she would be booted from this blog. I say that with all affection for WG, but there are lines not to be crossed.
Comrade Colette Collaboratrice
@Calouste:
That’s hilarious – and reminds me, so does petard. Let the hoisting begin!!! (As long as we’re upwind.)
ETA: Well done, SD! I have enjoyed these more than almost anything else in these Trump-tainted times.
Ken
@SiubhanDuinne: Ah, I see. I was wondering if the chapter was one of the more damaged Dead Sea Scrolls, and this was all that could be recovered.
WaterGirl
For the record, I am completely on board with Chapter Five, The Updating.
SiubhanDuinne
@WaterGirl:
Glad to hear it. Apologies for springing this on you mid-thread.
SiubhanDuinne
@Ken:
Well, 2,000 years of salt water stains and smears of goat dung made it a bit difficult to read….
Uncle Omar
Does anyone have access to or knowledge of somewhere I can get bumper stickers in dark blue with white lettering that say “Another Chump for” which can be placed (in the dead of night) on Trump yard signs?
SiubhanDuinne
@Comrade Colette Collaboratrice:
Did not know that! Great information. (I seem to recall, though haven’t trrrroubled myself to look it up, that in French a fart is un pet. Etymological connection?)
Jeffro
@Jerzy Russian: AY
MEN!
zhena gogolia
Watching the TAMI show. Hey, the Beach Boys were good!
zhena gogolia
@SiubhanDuinne:
Sounds great.
WaterGirl
@SiubhanDuinne: No worries! I probably would have said something like “we’ll have to get SD to update Chapter Five as we go along” without checking with you first, so we’re probably even. :-j
oatler.
Cor what a pong!
Jeffro
One of trumpov’s lil’ minions is whining on the twitters about how there’s just. no. way. Biden’s team could have turned around a rapid response ad to trumpov(‘s lies) so quickly today…
…and the Biden guy in charge of rapid response is like, “Um, that’s what we get paid to do? Try to keep up!”
LOLOLOLOLOLOL
Biden guy also said, “Hire Gen Z!” and whew I have to agree. The Millenials and Gen Z and iGen and whatever can have the reins whenever as far as I’m concerned.
Frankensteinbeck
Well, while we’re talking about the Asshole In Chief, he has ordered that the armed forces all have to take his payroll tax deferral and repay it in January. It’s straight-up an extortion threat.
zhena gogolia
It is funny how lame the Stones look coming after James Brown.
Laura Too
@SiubhanDuinne: Oh yes please!!! Updates would give me something to look forward to! I was so sad thinking this was the last installment, You are an amazing writer.
Wapiti
@Frankensteinbeck: I guess I need to check if they’re pulling that on military retirees. If they do, I’ll have to make sure I bank it for the January bill.
Ilieitz
OT previous thread
Trump is shitting on everyone who tried to be of service to our country. Be it in the military but those of us in the Peace Corps, Vista Americorps etc. So fuck Trump and all his stupidity
opiejeanne
@SiubhanDuinne: I love your use of “the last trump”, and I was sure you were referring to the Biblical use of the phrase.
I tried to use it on twitter recently, but wasn’t satisfied with my attempt so I dropped it.
Regine Touchon
@WaterGirl: hey how about printing this up and some of us artists can provide illustrations. We can bind it up and sell it . Where should the proceeds go? And yes I vote yes on The Updating.
WaterGirl
@Wapiti: Anyone can update their W-4 and have an exact dollar amount withheld in addition to what is taken out automatically. Contact the appropriate person for your organization and fill out the form.
WaterGirl
@Regine Touchon: I have thought of that, too. But that’s totally SD’s call.
Regine Touchon
@SiubhanDuinne: Yes please!
trollhattan
@Regine Touchon:
Hell to the yes on this idea! Make it so.
Our Kevin Bacon degrees to Covid are now 1, as my spouse’s dear cousin has been battling it three weeks now. Her cough, thought to be from wildfire smoke. She’s riding it out at home, so fingers and toes crossed. Luckily spouse and cousin haven’t been around one another for four weeks (whew).
SWMBO
@WaterGirl: I would suggest DougJ’s parceling of the funds. It would be poetic and just if The Book of Trump helped finance his undoing.
or she could just keep the funds herself.
or throw it to The Blogfather to offset advert costs.
opiejeanne
@Frankensteinbeck: Wait, can he force this? He keeps threatening us with various things that it turns out that he doesn’t have the power to do.
SWMBO
@trollhattan: Our degrees of TrumpCovid are 1 too. A friend of ours has been in hospital for over a month. He has been moved from ICU to a local rehab that has one wing of nothing but COVID19 patients. He is just beginning to sit in a chair without his O2 levels dropping. He still has to sleep with a bipap (non invasive vent) or his O2 levels drop. It looks like he’s going to have several more weeks before he can go home. The good news is his sister moved into his house to quarantine herself and she is taking care of his Great Dane.
prostratedragon
@Comrade Colette Collaboratrice: We are truly living in a time of convergence. From a commentary at indrasmusings, “The Trumpeting Asshole”:
MoxieM
@SiubhanDuinne: Yes! have come to so look forward to this. It’s lovely. thx.
persistentillusion
@Uncle Omar: Sign me up too, pun intended.
MoxieM
@prostratedragon: And there’s always the “butt song” in Hieronymus Bosch, Garden of Earthly Delights
cain
Joseph is infused with the wisdom of solomon, the strength of hercules, the power of atlas, the leadership of zeus, and thick skin of achilles and the quick thinking of mercury !
SWMBO
@Uncle Omar: Google custom bumper stickers. Turns out there are lots of them.
prostratedragon
@MoxieM: Oh thank you! I never heard this before, and being a very low-level art history hack, have not studied many of the fine details of Bosch’s epic. I must do so as soon as possible!
Jess
@prostratedragon: That Bosch painting is full of sexual visual puns. A bird is vogel in Dutch, also slang for penis, and vogelen (birds) = fucking. Mouse is vulva, fish is penis. Strawberries (and oysters, of course) are aphrodisiacs. Etc.
Jay
KKKops murdered Michael Forrest Reinoehel today,
Rest in power.
Jess
@Jay: From the accounts I’ve read, they were both violent men looking for trouble. Have you heard otherwise?
mrmoshpotato
Re: Mask holsters in Cole’s Twitter
How many of these idiots will try to claim Dick Cheney shot them in the face when the inevitable happens?
JPL
@SiubhanDuinne: Updates are always welcome.
Jay
@Jess:
one, was a child, steeped in Facist ideology, taken peacefully alive ,
the other, a community defence adult with a troubled past, ( thus community defence), gunned down.
Jay
@Jess:
Gvg
The police should take accused alive to stand trial not be executioners. It reflects badly on the police that they couldn’t take the accuse alive. It makes me wonder what they didn’t want him saying. There should be N investigation of the botched arrest execution.
J R in WV
@Uncle Omar:
Google custom bumper stickers for 40,000,000+ answers.