It’s been awhile since I have posted all the rotating tags that have been nominated, and tonight seems as good a time as any to give you guys a look.
If it wasn’t 91 degrees at 6pm, I might be out on the porch instead of doing this. Nah, I would probably be doing the same thing, just out on the porch.
Cole gets to make the decision about which ones make the cut, but if there are some you really like, I’m willing to lobby for them.
Take a look. See anything you like?
Update: Items in green got at least one vote. A number after the tag in green indicates the number of people who said they liked that one.
1 |
This is the way. |
2 |
I have spoken. |
3 |
|
4 |
Balloon Juice is such a weird place. |
5 |
|
6 |
A sufficient plurality of insane, greedy people can tank any democratic system ever devised. |
7 |
When your President is a carnival barker, you’re going to have a circus. 4 |
8 |
Alternate: When your President is a carnival barker, you’re going to have a bunch of rubes. |
9 |
The taproot of bigotry is the seeking of unfair advantage; libs are suckers for thinking otherwise. |
10 |
The GOP is FUBAR. 2 |
11 |
Cole is an eldest child, so he has no idea how a little love can avert pooping in the hallway to the bathroom. |
12 |
Balloon Juice, never a refuge for the linguistically delicate. |
13 |
Trump is going to draw a dick on that dog with a Sharpie before this is all over, isn’t he? (Betty Cracker) 3 |
14 |
Fuck these fucking interesting times. 7 |
15 |
Yeah, well, you know, that’s just, like, your opinion, man. 7 |
16 |
Think of it like Cole’s new house – you walk in and find Walter, but then you fall through a hole in the front porch. |
17 |
Meth, This Site Is ON It! 2 |
18 |
Nevertheless, she persisted. 11 |
19 |
Fortunately nobody else was home, and we have no rabbit. |
20 |
… and don’t forget to hydrate 3 |
21 |
These assholes make me want to scoop out my eyes with a melon baller and jam chopsticks through my eardrums right now. |
22 |
Fuck it, we’ll do it live! 2 |
23 |
All I wanted from the trip was a t-shirt, and I got this shitty president, instead….. |
24 |
Yeah, two fucking people in their 70s on the ticket. That is brilliant. |
25 |
Alternate: two people in their 70s on the ticket. That is brilliant. |
26 |
He’s the index to the cookbook, except no one has written any of the recipes. |
27 |
Alternate: He’s the index to the cookbook with no recipes. |
28 |
It costs a lot to look this cheap. – Dolly Parton 3 |
29 |
I was told there would be no math on this blog. 4 |
30 |
You must be this old to comment here. 4 |
31 |
I’m never afraid, and I’m rarely surprised. – Nancy Pelosi 3 |
32 |
Alternate: Never afraid and rarely surprised. 2 |
33 |
Tunch is not fat; he is floofy. (Alternate: Steve is not fat; he is floofy.) 2 |
34 |
Fuckem. ~efgoldman 10 |
35 |
Wow, I can’t imagine what it was like to comment in Morse Code. 2 |
36 |
FIDO (Fuck it and Drive On.) 6 |
37 |
What does the Orange Concealer, conceal? |
38 |
Let there be snark. 3 |
39 |
The president is a whiny little bitch. 3 |
40 |
A blogocracy, not a democracy. |
41 |
I heartily endorse this thread or product. |
42 |
Nothing but Malarkey served here. |
43 |
all things trump… expensive, but cheap looking |
44 |
Jackals Assemble. 3 |
45 |
Alternate: The Day of The Jackal 2 |
46 |
Shocking, but not surprising 4 |
47 |
In a more just world, the clouds would listen. |
48 |
The Willow is too close to the house. 6 |
49 |
It’s always darkest before the other shoe drops. 6 |
50 |
… never a haven… |
51 |
It’s getting to be ri-goddamn-diculous” |
52 |
I‘m only here for the duck photos. 5 |
53 |
Not even wrong. 2 |
54 |
The cruelty is the point. 2 |
55 |
Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please. -Mark Twain |
56 |
Orange is the new blech. |
57 |
It’s the corruption, stupid. 2 |
58 |
Andrew Sullivan should be ashamed of himself. |
59 |
The DNC server is in West By God Virginia! |
60 |
Touched by his noodly tentacle. 3 |
61 |
Eating tire rims and anthrax since 2009. 4 |
62 |
STFU, Donnie. You’re out of your element. |
63 |
Stable genius just took my bookbag. 2 |
64 |
100% fewer Trump cameos than Home Alone 2! |
65 |
Not the face! |
66 |
RTMFA |
67 |
Where the deer and the antelope play… warily. |
68 |
Don’t forget to hyphenate! |
69 |
Lindsay Graham is the Mike Pompeo of Steve Mnuchins |
70 |
aww, blow it out your ass. |
71 |
Something is very wrong. 3 |
72 |
Reader, I declined to engage further. |
73 |
This really is a full service blog. 5 |
74 |
When I decide to be condescending, you won’t have to dream up a fantasy about it. 2 |
75 |
Actual thoughts and prayers. |
76 |
We’re a forward looking blog. |
77 |
We’ll see if the cats can be herded. As you know they bolt if anyone picks up a laser pointer. |
78 |
I’d try pessimism, but it probably wouldn’t work. 9 |
79 |
Can you imagine what it is like to be a person who sacrificed their integrity for… Donald Trump. |
80 |
No one sacrificed their integrity for Donald Dump; they simply revealed their lack of it. |
81 |
The condom would be for the pig. |
82 |
To sum up, the whole situation is shitty. |
83 |
Blow me. |
84 |
That’s a lot of pomposity based on a personal anecdote and a semester of college. 3 |
85 |
Balloon Juice p0rn = grumpy detectives |
86 |
You don’t have to go to every argument you’re invited to, especially when the other guy has already made up his mind. |
87 |
I am annoyed by this translation |
88 |
You’re a liberal hack I’m not talking to you |
89 |
if senate republicans had any shame they’d die of it. 3 |
90 |
But I do respect the idea that in a country this fat, stupid, white, racist, sexist, and complacent, the way out might have to run through Joe Biden. |
91 |
Everyone is the hero in the movie that is their life. |
92 |
Republican senators in Impeachment Hearing: 52 toddlers squirming in Time Out. |
93 |
Republicans don’t lie to be believed. They lie to be repeated. LOLGOP |
94 |
That empty bag on the floor? Hillary used to keep her fucks in it. |
95 |
The Democrats were terrific yesterday. |
96 |
Let’s face it, the pattern is that we only elect Dems when there are massive crises. |
97 |
I had no idea they were so bad, and I had no idea our people were so good. |
98 |
Accused of treason; bitches about the ratings. I am in awe. 2 |
99 |
Our job is not to persuade Republicans but to defeat them. 3 |
100 |
How do you get liars to care about the truth? |
101 |
This whole shit show is a house of cards and when it goes, it won’t be stopped. |
102 |
I’m going back to the respite thread. 7 |
103 |
And for all this, I still believe in paticipation trophies. |
104 |
“Deploy the moving finger of emphasisity!” |
105 |
|
106 |
Reality always wins in the end. 4 |
107 |
The house always wins. |
108 |
Made me wish I’d hoarded more linguine. 2 |
109 |
Who the hell lets their wombat get that dirty? |
110 |
Come sit 6 feet away from the other 65.8+ million of us. |
111 |
Fuck that Orange Asshole and all his ass-nibbling remoras. |
112 |
Hunkered down in place during the Current Diseasiness |
113 |
This shit is juicy. |
114 |
People really shouldn’t expect the government to help after they watched the GOP drown it in a bathtub. 3 |
115 |
Shelter in place is one thing. Shelter in pants is quite another. |
116 |
F**k him and the pile of cash he rode in on. |
117 |
Those snakes will pee on you when you catch them. |
118 |
Books are still the gold standard for text storage. |
119 |
Just get laid and get freaky, or don’t |
120 |
It’s like living with Sméagol. 3 |
121 |
It’s not even safe to go out and pick up a 2 days worth of poop anymore. |
122 |
We need fewer warriors in public service and more gardeners. |
123 |
If you tweet it in all caps, that makes it true. 5 |
124 |
What’s wrong with you? Got crabs? |
125 |
You should only listen to the voices in your head who suggest fun stuff. 5 |
126 |
Wait, wait, wait…..camel balls? |
127 |
A last alliance of Elves and Men. Also pet photos. 5 |
128 |
Toughen up, lambchop. 4 |
129 |
Please scream inside your heart |
130 |
So apparently someone is waiting for something? |
131 |
Get into “good trouble”. ~John Lewis 6 |
132 |
We are down to Kool-Aid drinkers and next of kin here at the Trump White House. 2 |
133 |
You are, in many ways, a very strange person. |
134 |
I can’t take this shit today. I just can’t. |
135 |
YES! Stop fucking lying about the onions! |
136 |
This is all too absurd to be reality, right? 2 |
137 |
Go for blood. Apologize later. |
138 |
JFC, are there no editors left at that goddamn rag? 3 |
139 |
How about a little malarkey, scarecrow? |
140 |
White people need to vote for Biden. Everything else is irrelevant. |
141 |
i will stipulate that you are virtuous and woke if you will just shut the fuck up. |
142 |
Elmo has always been the Muppet most likely to turn a protest into a looting. Never trusted that little fucker. |
143 |
You are either for Trump or for democracy. Pick one. 5 |
144 |
I did not have this on my Fuck 2020 bingo card. 6 |
145 |
I prefer naming military bases after generals who didn’t lose. 5 |
146 |
riddled with inexplicable and elementary errors of law and fact 6 |
147 |
You should only listen to the voices in your head who suggest fun stuff. (duplicate) |
148 |
I remember the first time I turned 40 |
149 |
Wait, wait, wait…..camel balls? |
150 |
“they fucked up the fucking up of the fuckup!” |
151 |
No offense, but this thread hasn’t been about you for quite a while. 3 |
152 |
Since when do we limit our critiques to things we could do better ourselves? |
153 |
My years long effort to drive family and friends away has really paid off this year. (Baud) 3 |
154 |
This is pretty fucked up, even for Trump. |
155 |
Vulgar majority of urbanites 2 |
156 |
Fuck These Guys |
157 |
Defund the grammar police. 4 |
158 |
I am not a crackpot. 2 |
159 |
Let’s delete this post and never speak of this again. 5 |
160 |
The sexy pigs awakened something in me I thought I had buried forever. |
161 |
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that Donald Trump is a fucking idiot. 2 |
162 |
MAGA: More American Graves Await |
163 |
Toughen up, lambchops. (duplicate) |
164 |
I think the increased demand for gravediggers will help stimulate the economy. |
165 |
I know, right? It’s not like it’s an Olive Garden where you’re family. |
166 |
There is no Republican floor. |
167 |
When you see something that is not right, not fair, not just.. Say something. Do something. -John Lewis 2 |
168 |
One can never have too much Paris! |
169 |
We are down to Kool-Aid drinkers and next of kin here at the Trump White House. |
170 |
That’s how being stupid in public works. |
171 |
You are, in many ways, a very strange person. |
172 |
… like a concussed garden snail trying to gain entry to a salt shaker 5 |
173 |
I can’t take this shit today. I just can’t. |
174 |
One last dollop of dumb from the CNN article, and we’ll call it a day: |
175 |
YES! Stop fucking lying about the onions! (duplicate) |
176 |
We’ll be fast tracking crossing water beetles with fireflies to get light inside the body. |
177 |
This is all too absurd to be reality, right? (duplicate) |
178 |
I see no possible difficulties whatsoever with this fool-proof plan. |
179 |
Trump is still small; it’s the problems that got big. |
180 |
There is always an asshole. |
181 |
She gazed around her Garden of Fucks to Give; and behold, there were none. 7 |
182 |
Go for blood. Apologize later. |
183 |
Today is a bad day to be following the news. 5 |
184 |
Ah, my baudian wit antenna wasn’t set to “dry” enough… |
185 |
Historically it is a little unusual for the President to be an incoherent babbling moron. 9 |
186 |
For the first time in 30 years, Maureen Dowd forgot about Hillary. 5 |
187 |
Maureen had too much pot brownie before writing her column again. |
188 |
How about a little malarkey, scarecrow? |
adding
I’m only here for the profanity. 3
Needs more mustard. 4
2020 has been the longest decade of my life. 4
Tick tock, motherfucker! 9
CALVIN KLEIN ARUGULA
Perhaps you mistook them for somebody who gives a damn – Nancy Pelosi 2
In summary, whatever. 2
Four legs? Good!! Two legs? We’re not so sure…
Now get me a Tab and a Hostess Fruit Pie – it’s almost time for Bonanza!
Fuck if I know. I just get yelled at when I try it. 4
There’s some extremely good trouble headed their way. 2
Miss Bianca
Holy shit. This is an example of that proverbial embarrassment of riches that I’ve heard so much about, right?
Gravenstone
So uh, been awhile since John reviewed the offerings, eh?
WaterGirl
@Gravenstone: Yeah, last time was quite awhile ago, and he said we could look again in the fall. Close enough, right?
oatler.
From watching Rhoda this afternoon: “I’m operating on principle. I’m mad.”
Alison Rose
Criminy, that’s a lot. A few I like: 7, 10, 14, 38, 127, 136, 143, 155
But please not 5, it feels…not okay to me.
WaterGirl
@Alison Rose: That seems like a reasonable request.
WaterGirl
@Alison Rose: I like most of the ones you listed.
pat
I have been chuckling through this entire list.
You saved the best for last:
185 and 186.
Historically it is a little unusual for the President to be an incoherent babbling moron.
186
For the first time in 30 years, Maureen Dowd forgot about Hillary.
Frankensteinbeck
11, 14, 15, 18 DEFINITELY, 28 just to honor Dolly Parton, 31 because we need to put something up to honor Pelosi, 34, 52, 106 as it will both remind us of and be useful after COVID,126 and 128 because they express the tone of Balloon Juice so well, 131 because we should honor Lewis, 144, 145, 146, 155, 181, 183, 185, 186
debbie
14 and 18. And how old is your Rose of Sharon to be that tall?
pat
@pat:
Well they don’t actually sound like rotating tags do they. Just really perceptive comments.
I could go back through the list and select at least a half dozen. It was just such a joy to read them all.
Thank you!
Ken
I hope those who complain that we don’t have enough political parties take this lesson to heart.
WaterGirl
@Frankensteinbeck: Those are some excellent choices!
WaterGirl
@Ken: I can’t tell whether you’re nominating that or just making a statement.
Baud
Didn’t you just get mad at the DNC for doing the same type of poll about the Veep?
japa21
Okay, here we go. 15, 29, 52,61, 78,110, 144 and 182.
You have a couple duplicates but not a big deal.
dexwood
91 or not, that is a great porch. Those dogs have it good.
WaterGirl
@Baud: You missed the part about me being willing to go to bat for the ones we jackals like. Somehow I don’t think the DNC made that offer?
WaterGirl
@dexwood: Thank you! I do love it. The dogs even let me share it with them.
Baud
@WaterGirl:
Will an actual bat be involved?
SiubhanDuinne
We’re not going to lose all the current tags, are we? Because a day without “All your base are belong to Tunch” seems hardly worth getting out of bed for.
WaterGirl
@debbie: It is very old. At least 3 decades, I suspect. One of the first things I planted when I moved here.
WaterGirl
@japa21: Yeah, I thought that was a possibility. If someone says “that should be a rotating tag, I add it to the spreadsheet. On rare occasions someone says that, and then actually uses the form to submit it!
I was too lazy to check for that. :-)
WaterGirl
@Baud: I am nonviolent, so I would say no. But a virtual bat, oh yes!
Yutsano
The Dolly Parton and both the John Lewis ones for sure. I can’t decide on the rest right now.
WaterGirl
@SiubhanDuinne: John has had me remove a few, but only the ones that are old and stale. On the order of “good news for John McCain” stale.
Uncle Omar
I know I’m late to this party, but how about, “Fuck ’em if they can’t take a joke.”
Benw
Keep Nevertheless, She Persisted.
That’s all I ask.
Rob
I’ve only looked at a few. I like #173, #125, and #127.
eta: also #73.
Ken
You’re talking about the Democrats, not the Libertarians.
joel hanes
15, 18, 34
But 34 must be attributed to efgoldman of blessed memory
Libby Spencer
My vote doesn’t count since I’ve been absent for so long but most of them are too long. I’d vote for 22 and/or 71. Fuck it, we’ll do it live. Something is very wrong. And adding my own nomination at this late date: “I’m only here for the profanity. “
joel hanes
Open thread?
Texas is teetering on the edge of flipping blue.
You can help the grassroots activists who are making it happen
Methods proven effective in previous elections. No political consultants; no ad buys.
Ken
Modesty forbids.
Besides, it would get lost in the pack. I’ll wait until Cole picks, then get in nearer the top of the new list.
bucachon
181 but with the change She gazed around her Garden of Fucks to Give; and behold, there were none.
(alternate to Nancy SMASH! gazed around her Garden of Fucks to Give; and behold, there were none.)
jackmac
No. 1. Full stop. The Mandalorian’s “This is the Way” is definitive and all you need.
joel hanes
If nasty sneaky hobbitses goes with 120, please correct the spelling of Smeagol, precious.
Chetan Murthy
OT, so a question, request for advice.
I have a relative, who …. well, when we talk, she gives me this bullshit about how she’s a victim of the “government-industrial complex”, and how she wants to punish the government for failing to function, by depriving it of her taxes (but it’s illegal, how wrong is that?) etc, etc, etc. Also stuff about how angry she is with the government for covid, and again, she wants to keep her taxes as a punishment.
In the Before Time, I would have put up with it. But I can’t do so now. A few times, when she’s started in on that, I’ve jumped down her throat. This last time (today) I asked her to stop three times, and each time she started back up again; so eventually I just hung up abruptly.
I’ve suggested to her that she needs to educate herself, e.g. reading Rick Perlstein’s books, but …. well, y’know, she’s a salesman, and a very good one. They’re often not the type to investigate the facts, since those facts usually get in the way of being sincere in their sales pitch. So I don’t see her actually educating herself.
Does anybody have any suggestions for how to get her to stop spouting this gaslighting drivel? Because I just will NOT stand for it. I don’t enjoy jumping down her throat (it bothers me for days afterwards), and so the only other option is to just hang up. But that really isnt’ a good option, since I -do- need to communicate with her from time-to-time about mundane matters.
Any advice appreciated.
Ascap_scab
Yes: 10, 14, 15, 18, 20, 22, 29, 30, 42, 48, 49, 66, 78, 99, 123, 144, 145, and 181.
No: 3, 105.
Add: Needs moar mustard.
joel hanes
@Libby Spencer:
Glad to see your nym again.
bbleh
3,7,14,18,30,45,46,49,53,57,60, 108,123,125,127,131!,158,163,188
Re 120, it’s Sméagol
Fair Economist
OMG, so many gems. Favs: 7, 14, 18, 23, 31, 34, 38, 44, 46, 48, 52, 54, 56, 61, 63, 67, 73, 74, 78, 89, 93, 99, 100, 106, 114, 123, 125, 127, 131, 132, 135, 138, 144, 146, 157, 159, 161, 162, 172, 183, 185.
Enjoy picking, Mr. Cole!
Fair Economist
@Chetan Murthy: I’d just hang up. She wants to be an idiot, and you can’t fix that, but she will learn not to waste your time quickly.
Extra points if your phone can hang up silently so she’s talking to dead air for a while. Nothing like feeling stupid to speed up the learning process.
Van Buren
111, 134, 181 are my faves.
bbleh
@Chetan Murthy: Since you’ve done Stoic Forbearance, Patient Education, and Crazed Counterpunching, and you can’t do Dead-to-Me Freeze-Out, perhaps try Weary Deflection? Without rancor, even perhaps with a touch of humor, “Karen, you’re doing it again, so I’m gonna hang up now. Always nice talking to you, and let’s chat Tuesday about rebalancing our mutual fund, okay? ‘Bye!” [click]
Elizabelle
Are the tags marked in green the leading contenders? Because they are my favorite, too.
Suzanne
14, 28, 34, and I got bored after that.
WaterGirl
I am marking the ones that have been picked in green. If more than one person picked it, it shows the number of people who mentioned it in the comments.
Elizabelle
@WaterGirl: I never tire of the vitriolic, vicious jackals.
Chetan Murthy
@Fair Economist:
Oh, that’s very nice! OK, I’ll try that. Helpfully, it gives me a way to -express- my displeasure, without raising my blood pressure.
Barbara
@Chetan Murthy: She sounds obsessed, but I deduce her real complaint is paying taxes. I might say, “I hear taxes are low in Somalia, but if you decide to stay put I would appreciate it if you would stop complaining.”
Or, you could try, “God you are so boring. Isn’t there anything interesting going on in your life?”
WaterGirl
@Libby Spencer: Your vote counts!
Nice to see your nym, you should come around more often.
I also added your nomination.
Elizabelle
Voting “Fuck It and Drive On.”
Raven came up with it. I have adopted it as my motto.
Barbara
“2020 has been the longest year of my life.”
Elizabelle
WaterGirl: Toughen up, lambchop(s) is on the list twice.
Also, I would love to see — Fuckem. — EF Goldman
pat
I couldn’t keep track of all the numbers but I vote for “and yet, she persisted.”
WaterGirl
I am now caught up.
WaterGirl
@Barbara: I changed it to:
2020 has been the longest decade of my life, and added it.
Benw
WaterGirl, you fucking rock!
WaterGirl
@joel hanes: Can you please add that to yesterday’s thread so I can remember to add that to the list later?
https://balloon-juice.com/2020/08/08/what-we-can-do-85-things/?updated=1596943504#comment-7808096
edit: Never mind, things slowed down here so I just added it to the list.
WaterGirl
@Benw: Thank you!
zhena gogolia
I only got up to 118, then scrolled to the bottom.
I like 13, 17, 20, 22, 33, 34, 36, 84, 102, 118, and 186. But I didn’t read 118-86.
Benw
@WaterGirl: word is bond
zhena gogolia
Add 140 and 172.
Omnes Omnibus
@Elizabelle: Two observations. 1. It is “Fuck it, Drive on.” No and in it. 2. Raven may have introduced here, but it has been a US military saying for a long time – since before Raven was even in the army and he was there back when Christ was a corporal.
dexwood
No 48. So tired of the willow is too close to the house joke.
Omnes Omnibus
@dexwood: We can’t help it if you can’t handle the truth.
dexwood
@Omnes Omnibus: I’ve been told the truth is out there.
ETA: While at it, must say, mustard jokes are stale, too.
WaterGirl
@Omnes Omnibus: corrected!
zhena gogolia
OT, this is a great video I just saw retweeted by Patton Oswalt:
WaterGirl
caught up again.
zhena gogolia
@Omnes Omnibus:
Sometimes he just gives it as FIDO and then everyone has to ask him what it means.
What about Xin loi, mfers?
Searcher
Tick tock motherfuckers?
WaterGirl
@zhena gogolia: That was great.
WaterGirl
@Searcher: I added it. Singular, though. I think it was motherfucker.
There go two miscreants
Lots of good ones! I like 7, 18, 49, 63,79,102,143, 145, 185. Just hoping the Dump ones have a short shelf life!
WaterGirl
I can’t believe no one picked this one, except me:
Cole is an eldest child, so he has no idea how a little love can avert pooping in the hallway to the bathroom.
Omnes Omnibus
@WaterGirl: I am the elder of two, and I simply don’t understand that point of that quip.
WaterGirl
@Omnes Omnibus: I don’t understand the eldest child part, but the rest of it is spot on. That was geg6, when Cole was bitching about his cute little brown pup whose name momentarily escapes me. (Thurston!)
edit: thanks Omnes
Omnes Omnibus
@WaterGirl: Thurston.
SectionH
I’ve a “filtered” list, based on skipping most to do with the current resident of the White House. If (please FSM) we win, I don’t want frequent reminders of the misery on rotating tags. There’ll be plenty of those anyway. YMMV.
So 29, 35, 78, 89, 102, 136, 143, 155, 185
and yeah 131 – a bit earnest for me, but yeah.
And, sorry but 120: it’s Sméagol. And 109: no fucking apostrophe in “lets”. Sorry, I usually (always, here, afair) stifle the impulse to make spelling complaints, but in case of potential rotating tags, uh, those need to be… non-embarrassing?
Omnes Omnibus
Must go watch Endeavour.
WaterGirl
@SectionH: I already fixed 120 earlier – what am I missing?
Yeah, I would have caught let’s if/when I put it up. You have no idea how many of them I had to fix when we set up the rotating tags for the new site. More than a dozen, for sure.
WaterGirl
@Omnes Omnibus: Not Perry Mason?
Omnes Omnibus
@WaterGirl: No.
WaterGirl
@Omnes Omnibus: Harrumph!
Rob
I really like “2020 has been the longest decade of my life”.
Elizabelle
Incidentally, the bonus photo of the WaterGirl dogs on the porch is wonderful. Sweet pups.
Another Scott
This isn’t the whole list, is it? I thought my suggestion of “CALVIN KLEIN ARUGULA” from July 7 would show up, at least to get brickbats. ;-)
Thanks for all you do. :-)
Cheers,
Scott.
Elizabelle
Another vote for Tick Tock, Motherfucker.
(And where is Yarrow?)
Glad that Assemble, Jackals got some love.
Benw
@WaterGirl: did someone mention Perry Mason!?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QapkGK-6G90
That bass riff yo
WaterGirl
@Elizabelle: Thanks for noticing!
SectionH
@WaterGirl: Nothing, I saw it, um, pre-fixed… I tend to take ages to write a post, and then usually don’t anyway. Which is a good thing all around.
Please add 38 to my list, was reading too fast and missed it somehow. Essence of BJ, snark is
eta: OMG, I was SO not implying any criticism of you in that bit.
WaterGirl
@Another Scott: My bad! When I copied them to the spreadsheet, I missed that one. I have added it.
debbie
@WaterGirl:
It’s beautiful!
raven
FIDO
WaterGirl
@SectionH: Added! thanks for the corrections. I had just copied & pasted the submissions.
WaterGirl
@raven: I did add Fuck it, drive on when it was mentioned above. Should that have FIDO in parenthesis or something?
Steeplejack
@WaterGirl:
It’s too long and it’s not very funny. And it is a bit of a personal dig against the blogfather.
WaterGirl
@debbie: I planted it, and the same year I planted 2 hibiscus, one on either side.
Year two, in the fall, I cut down the hibiscus as you are supposed to do. The following spring, I looked, and one of the hibiscus had not been cut down, but I KNEW I had done it.
Turns out, I had cut down the rose of sharon by mistake!!! That was a LONG several weeks while I waited to see if it would come back. It came back with a vengeance. Who knew?
I never made that mistake again. :-)
WaterGirl
@Steeplejack: Maybe you had to be there? It was more ribbing and defense of Thurston since Thurston was being maligned by Cole. But I can see how you are taking it.
Danielx
Ooh, I think #39 is mine! But if it doesn’t make the final cut I’m okay with that.
eta: “this is good news for John McCain” is timeless, if only as an example of Villager sycophancy.
raven
@WaterGirl: Oh, sorry I didn’t see it. I think FIDO should be the tag and “Fuck it and Drive On” in parentheses.
WaterGirl
@Danielx: I added one vote for that. Any others you like?
WaterGirl
@raven: I edited it, see if you think I got it right. I also added one more vote for that, assuming that you wanted that.
Danielx
@WaterGirl:
Too many to list, although I’d throw in that July 2020 was the longest year of my life.
WaterGirl
@Danielx: Did you see this one? That’s pretty close to your suggestion.
2020 has been the longest decade of my life. 3
raven
@WaterGirl: Looks good to me.
Elizabelle
@raven: Yeah, I like that.
FIDO, fuck it.
glc
15, 22, 48, 123
17, 19, 32, 46, 47, 53, 62, 71, 78, 127, 146, 153, 158
randy khan
48, 73, 131.
artem1s
my votes are for:
99, 131, 143, 146, 157, 159,167,181, 185, 186
just nominated
Perhaps you mistook them for somebody who gives a damn – Nancy Pelosi
because Nancy Smash and truer words have been spoken about the GOP
Steeplejack
@raven:
“Fuck it, drive on.” Spare.
Steeplejack
@WaterGirl:
No comma if you’re going with “and.”
Elizabelle
@WaterGirl: I always notice Henry. And Tucker. Lucky pups.
Sandia Blanca
My “yes” votes are for:
15 Yeah, well, you know, that’s just, like, your opinion, man.
39 The president is a whiny little bitch.
52 I‘m only here for the duck photos.
61 Eating tire rims and anthrax since 2009
73 This really is a full service blog.
102 I’m going back to the respite thread
109 Who the hell lets their wombat get that dirty?
151 No offense, but this thread hasn’t been about you for quite a while.
172 … like a concussed garden snail trying to gain entry to a salt shaker
==>and one more from a thread within the past week or so that said something like “in summary, whatever”–thought someone had suggested adding that to the list. I endorse it, if so.
Thanks WG!
Jay
Thank you Watergirl for all the work you put into this site,
Danielx
@WaterGirl:
I did, it’s just that July was…intense.
WaterGirl
@artem1s: Caught up again.
Added your new one – excellent idea, and added my vote to it.
zhena gogolia
@Omnes Omnibus:
Not really digging it.
It’s reminding me of the last season of Sherlock, when they leaped over an aquatic creature.
WaterGirl
@Steeplejack: corrected.
Steeplejack
@WaterGirl:
I’d still go with “Fuck it, drive on.” Laconic.
WaterGirl
@Sandia Blanca:
151 is one of my favorites:
No offense, but this thread hasn’t been about you for quite a while.
added your new suggestion and gave it your vote.
WaterGirl
@Danielx: At least July is over. :-)
WaterGirl
I am off to watch the final episode of Perry Mason for the season.
I’ll include anything that’s here when I check in the morning.
Elizabelle
@WaterGirl: Enjoy!
(And no spoilers, dammit.) I think I shall end up subscribing to HBO in a few weeks …
NoraLenderbee
18,31 or 32,84,87,138,141,185,186
2liberal
my vote for:
I’d try pessimism, but it probably wouldn’t work
mrmoshpotato
This still remains true however.
mrmoshpotato
Haha, still good.
WaterGirl
@mrmoshpotato: That might be my absolute favorite.
mrmoshpotato
An altruism
WaterGirl
Okay, now I’m really going to watch Perry Mason. Just as I was about to shut the laptop awhile ago, I realized that I hadn’t written the introductions for tomorrow’s On The Road posts.
I am excited. We have nearly enough for 3 weeks of Paris After Dark, which starts on Monday night.
Okay, goodnight for real. Will check for any additions here in the morning.
mrmoshpotato
Hahaha, ow.
zhena gogolia
@WaterGirl:
Me too. We could have all the rotating tags made up of Betty Cracker’s aperçus.
frosty
Here’s mine. I also vote NO on the willow and the mustard.
14 Fuck these fucking interesting times.
15 Yeah, well, you know, that’s just, like, your opinion, man.
18 Nevertheless, she persisted.
20 … and don’t forget to hydrate
28 It costs a lot to look this cheap. – Dolly Parton
34 Fuckem. ~efgoldman
36 FIDO (Fuck it Drive On) No AND
49 It’s always darkest before the other shoe drops
61 Eating tire rims and anthrax since 2009
73 This really is a full service blog
78 I’d try pessimism, but it probably wouldn’t work. [This one made me laugh]
102 I’m going back to the respite thread.
125 You should only listen to the voices in your head who suggest fun stuff.
131 Get into “good trouble”. ~John Lewis
144 I did not have this on my Fuck 2020 bingo card.
153 My years long effort to drive family and friends away has really paid off this year. (Baud)
157 Defund the grammar police.
159 Let’s delete this post and never speak of this again.
160 The sexy pigs awakened something in me I thought I had buried forever.
172 … like a concussed garden snail trying to gain entry to a salt shaker
181 Nancy SMASH! She gazed around her Garden of Fucks to Give; and behold, there were none.
182 Today is a bad day to be following the news
Tick tock, motherfucker!
mrmoshpotato
Hahahahahahahaha ugh! Remove all of the mirrors from those people’s houses!
NotMax
Haven’t read entire thread so apologies if already mentioned.
Nitpick:
IIRC it was the back porch through which Mr. Cole’s leg fell, not the front.
Omnes Omnibus
@NotMax: No Walter for you.
mrmoshpotato
Fuck yeah!
mrmoshpotato
Pandemic or not, so so true.
mrmoshpotato
YES!
mrmoshpotato
I missed when that was first said.
That. Is. Good.
mrmoshpotato
HAHA!
frosty
The rotating tag that came up when I switched back to this post was …
Nevertheless, she persisted.
Thanks WG and JGC!!!
Chacal Charles Calthrop
How do we vote? do we just list the #s here?
Ok, I like: 18, 31, 33, 34, 44, 45 (I have to; my nym comes from Day of the Jackal)
48, 60 (alhough I always thought it was “Touched by His Noodly Appendage,” not tentacle)
106, 114, 131, 145, 146, 159, 167, 172
and whatever anyone wants to say about the mustard
SectionH
@Chacal Charles Calthrop: Well, Cole’s the man, and he has the vote.
2liberal
adding votes for
Fuckem. ~efgoldman
I’m going back to the respite thread.
SectionH
@Chacal Charles Calthrop: It IS “touched by His Noodly Appendage.” RAMEN!
NotoriousJRT
@Chetan Murthy:
tell her you will be screening her calls until she can learn to respect your time & wishes?
NotoriousJRT
@Elizabelle: And another vote for Tick Tock, motherfucker.
SectionH
@Chetan Murthy: This may sound stupid, but why is her complaint relevant to what you’re dealing with her about? Are you doing her taxes for her or something? What are your interactions with her about? If what you’re doing is for her benefit, can you explain to her that THAT SHIT is Not relevant, and can she just STFU? You probably already have but. Anyway, when she starts, get up and walk around. Walk out of the room, the house – escalate it until she gets the idea that THAT SHIT will not be listened to.
If you’re just being a dutiful relative, I still think you should basically walk away. And mean it. 10 minutes or 10 years. If they’re driving you crazy, fuck ’em. (Been there, done all that shit.)
Good luck.
NotMax
Also I must be about the only one who remembers Mr. Cole doing a post admonishing people to eschew use of the F word on the front page, so that should automatically disqualify some of them.
Morzer
The Dude Abidens
WaterGirl
@NotMax: I think you might have missed the announcement that we went back to the old ad people, who do not care about our language.
lee
My votes:
39
145
185
WaterGirl
I am officially caught up on all entries up to here.