Squirrels are a pain in the ass. Constantly finding new ways to destroy bird feeders and sometimes they take a bite out of every damned tomato in the garden just for kicks
6.
evap
You will have to choose between home-grown tomatoes and squirrels. I wish I had the choice.
7.
Steeplejack
Cole, you’ve got too many predators on staff.
8.
Elizabelle
Loved this video. Hardly ever watch anything all the way through — this was 20 minutes of highly interesting and amusing film. No squirrels were harmed in the making of this video, even though it includes a squirrel “orbital” device.
I especially love the rewind of the squirrels’ action jumps. Back and forth and back and forth, and it loses nothing.
9.
u
no, you do not want squirrels.
You also want birds, tomatoes, vegetables. You will lose them all to the squirrels. Also all red flowers, they like to chew those up too for some reason.
10.
CaseyL
I loved this! The slow-mo motion analysis was fascinating: Squirrels are so much smarter than we think.
The videographer is Mark Rober. He’s a former NASA scientist, and has a whole YouTube channel of wonderful videos. (He’s also the guy who invented the Glitter Package Bomb to retaliate against porch package thieves, which is how he first became Internet Famous.)
11.
hueyplong
Come to NC and take as many of my tree rats as you like.
You want squirrels? You can have mine. The damn things eat our figs. We’d love to tell my mother-in-law how much we enjoyed the figs off the tree she bought us, but we never get any.
13.
trollhattan
It certainly cements their place higher on the critter sophistication ladder. Thank god they’re not actually the size they attain on John Oliver’s show.
This guy’s porch pirate glitter bomb is another technical triumph.
14.
MattF
He’s now got a quartet of well-trained squirrels. Supervised by one well-trained human.
15.
MagdaInBlack
This is the same guy whose packages were stolen repeatedly, so he built an elaborate package with gps, cameras, a glitter spinner and fart spray, all which went off when the thief opened the stolen package.
Cameras caught all the reactions ? and because of gps, he was able to retrieve the “glitter bomb” packages.
Squirrels and rats–the day and night shifts–clean out our persimmon, a tree that once overproduced to an absurd amount. There’s no stopping them short of shearing the thing to bush size and wrapping it in mesh. Probably electrified.
17.
Gvg
Meh, squirrels eat all kinds of things including hoses, bird feeders, metal soffits, fiberglass insulation, air conditioning ductwork and garden crops just before they are ripe, so they leave your tomatoes with one bite left where you will find it. Forget it. My next door neighbor feeds them nd thinks they are cute so for peace, I don’t try to hard but all my bird feeders are high quality with squirrel baffles. I think the crows help repel them too though that has its own downside.
crows have been planting peanuts in my yard which are coming up in odd places. They also keep putting food they find in the birdbath which makes a muddy mess. Don’t seem to understand keeping water clean.
18.
Tim C.
Phat Gus and I are soul mates. Seriously, that Squirrel would be my patronus.
This is hysterical. My John is at war with the squirrels in our yard who raid the bird feeders we have in the back yard regardless of any of the extreme measures he takes. If I show this to him, he’ll be scheming to figure out how to do it even better than the guy in the video. He’ll be obsessed. LOL!
I have both squirrels and tomatoes. And a bird feeder they often raid. I lose a few tomatoes, but since some end up non-eatable by humans, I leave those available for the squirrels and take the others in.
I saw young grackles chasing a baby squirrel up and down the big tree out front just yesterday. They weren’t really big enough to hurt the baby or carry it off, but they kept harassing it until it ran back to the hole in the tree that I assumed the squirrel nest was.
squirrels eat all kinds of things including hoses,…
They chewed up the freshwater drain hose on our trailer when we parked it in back. Lucky it wasn’t the propane (why isn’t the stove coming on? KABOOM!)
23.
HRA
No you cannot have my squirrels, rabbits, humming birds, cardinals, crows and any others I have missed listing here. In all the years I have been here, my plants have never been touched by any of them. Stay safe and healthy everyone.
RIP Larry Kramer. Gay Twitter is outraged (outraged, I tell you!) that he’s described as a total jerk in that obituary, but I don’t see the lie.
29.
JustRuss
My last house was under a big English walnut. There was always a squirrel or two running around the tree. I’d watch them grab a walnut, run to a branch above my house, and drop it to hear it go bang! on my metal roof. My bed was in a loft about 3 feet below the roof, that was fun to wake up to.
There was one that liked to climb down the tree til he was 3 feet from the ground and yell at the neighbor’s cat. When the cat finally couldn’t take anymore and went after him, he’d scamper about 20 feet up and turn around a heckle the cat some more. Cats are quick, but can’t come close to squirrels.
In summary, squirrels are entertaining, but they’re kinda jerks.
At first I wanted to marry this guy, but alas, he is spoken for. So I will settle for best friend.
31.
vigilhorn
@HRA: Everytime I put a potted plant outside the squirrels dig it up looking for whatever. I put a mothball in each pot now.
32.
Sab
@charluckles: Calm down. They are just furry little tree rats. We don’t have bird feeders. We have squirrel feeders that we and the squirrels allow birds to use. Makes life much easier.
I’m seeing squirrels in the tree outside my window in Brooklyn, NY for the first time in 20 years. Only thing I can think is that they’re either wandering farther or surviving more due to reduced car traffic.
36.
Sab
@JustRuss: Our next street over neighbors rescue racing greyhounds. Lots of our squirrels don’t have tails, due to teasing greyhounds. 0 to 45 mph in seconds those canine couch potatoes can do.
Around here in the Pacific Northwest the eastern grey squirrels are an invasive species that are driving out our more shy native western grey squirrels and red squirrels
He specifically called out McConnell and Scott for coming from states that take more from the treasury than they pay in and being unwilling to help states that pay more.
51.
Sab
John Cole: You will never have squirrels with a house full of terriers.
52.
joel hanes
This is my favorite approach to squirrel-proof bird feeders.
Cuomo’s been setting the stage for infrastructure rebuilding to get the economy going for a few press conferences in a row now.
He’s right. The economy will not magically restart itself, and people need jobs and money is there to put them back to work. Paul Krugman is no doubt enjoying these remarks as well.
I wish we could nuke Mitch McConnell and Trump and all the bad Republicans from space.
54.
Elizabelle
@Josie: Yes. Shame on Tim Scott for that ridiculous quote.
I was amazed to hear that Virginia receives so much federal funding. Thinking it must be the military (and government) installations.
Since NoVA is so prosperous, I assumed we were one of the “donors” to red states.
55.
kindness
Growing up we had tree squirrels and I always liked them. They’d tame pretty easily if they knew you were going to feed them and not try to touch them. Out here in the Central Valley of Ca though we have ground squirrels. Ground squirrels live in holes in the ground and aren’t nearly as cute as tree squirrels. In fact they look more like rats with peach fuzz on their tails. They don’t seem to want to have anything to do me but it might be the dogs in the backyard.
You know who else tames well and are adorable when they have little ones following them around? Skunks. Damn they are cute. My grandfather would tame them while he stayed at our house in Westchester over the summer. We went away for the summer to CT. But our dog got sprayed every year upon our return and my folks asking him not to tame the skunks finally worked. Boo. Baby skunks are so cute.
John Muir’s favorite squirrel was the Douglas, a.k.a. chickaree. They’re charming companions during Sierra excursions, while my favorite small furry critters are the vanishing pikas, which are actually from the rabbit family.
57.
Josie
All of you who hate squirrels need a corgi. My Duncan moves like he is shot out of a cannon when I open the sliding door. I have to bang on the door before I open it to give the squirrels a running start toward a tree. He actually got one early on, and it was immediately dead. He is such a sweetheart otherwise, I was dumbfounded.
@Cheryl Rofer: Don’t all western rodents carry plague?
61.
Benw
The squirrels and birds in my yard have developed a little ecosystem where one squirrel jumps on and shakes the feeder and the rest of the squirrels and birds hop around on the ground underneath. Sometimes a bird will chase the squirrels away and sometimes a squirrel with chase the birds. It seems about 50/50 who wins.
The furry little bastards are a royal pain in the ass. They have nothing better to do, and all day to do it, and an abundance of energy. This is a destructive combination, and grounds for constant battle and vigilance. And ours are in balance with the space available, i.e. not an infestation, it’s how they live. Between the classic grey squirrel and the little red guys (we have both), it’s the little guys that cause the most trouble. As @ryk noted, they’ll sample every nearly-ripe tomato just once before they decide they don’t like tomatoes. They dig holes everywhere: plots, pots, planters, hanging baskets, window boxes, doesn’t matter. They’re either digging for some long-lost nut, or digging to bury today’s nut, or digging just for the hell of it. MrsFromOhio recently lined up three new pots with soil ready for plants, and the little fuckers emptied out each one like it was a paying gig, new potting soil EVERYWHERE. They’ll deliberately drop shit on you when you’re laying in the hammock, and then chatter endlessly at each other while racing around the trees, driving the neighbors dog to tears. One chewed its way into the shed, and promptly tore into bags of mulch, using the shreds to make multiple nests in the eaves and making a spectacular mess in the process. When I patched the hole and cleaned up, it spent the next three days trying to dig through the wooden doors before finally giving up. The doors look like something gnawed off the corners.
Sure, they make cute videos. That’s about the only time they’re cute. DO. NOT. WANT.
I love that Cuomo speaks so bluntly. He names McConnell, Tim Scott, Art Laffer and says “they’re lying.”
It is personal with him, because it’s an insult lobbed at New York State.
69.
LivingInExile
Bushy tailed rats. I have a small, black, male cat that hates squirrels with a passion. No idea why. Across the yard and up in the trees he goes after them.
70.
Ohio Mom
Am I missing something here? The squirrels can’t get up a greased pole so why not stick a bird feeder on a greased pole and top it off with one of those supposedly squirrel-proof wobbly saucer tops, also heavily greased? Seems like grease is the secret.
As someone who grew up on New York City surrounded by squirrels, I am inured to them. I was taught to give them wide berth because they can bite — one bit my cousin David during a preschool field trip to the playground.
The squirrels can’t get up a greased pole so why not stick a bird feeder on a greased pole and top it off with one of those supposedly squirrel-proof wobbly saucer tops, also heavily greased? Seems like grease is the secret.
@Ohio Mom:
I think the idea mutated partway through. He went from wanting to stop the squirrels from getting into the bird feeder to wanting to see how much trouble the squirrels would go through to get to the feeder. This is the attitude that makes him a successful YouTuber.
75.
Sab
@LivingInExile: My dad’s cat used to kill squirrels, until he met his squirrel match. That rodent kicked his ass, and we all watched from inside behind a window. Now he is blind and safely inside my house. No outside cat for him anymore.
76.
Kristine
That was great.
My backyard squirrels need to contend with Gaby, who in her prime knocked off invaders fairly regularly. She’s lost a step over the years, and sometimes sleeps through incursions. But she’s still a force to be reckoned with.
I have one on a post and another on the side of a tree, and neither one gets raided to any extent. There are gnaw marks on the hinges, and occasionally a squirrel will figure out how to reach up and under the flap and scoop out seed. They’re too small to do much damage. A raccoon otoh can empty the tree mounted feeder in minutes. However, for whatever reason that hasn’t happened very often. I’ve had both feeders for well over 10 years.
77.
Elizabelle
Le sigh. And now some Trump ass kissing by Cuomo. “He’s a builder. He’s a developer.”
A failed one.
WaPost reporter asked if Trump agrees with McConnell and his ilk about the “blue state bailout.” Cuomo describes Trump as someone who wants to reopen the economy.
And with that, it’s over. No chance for another reporter to say “really?”
78.
trollhattan
My kid just won her HS senior athlete of the year (via Facebook video). She’s chuffed!
79.
Ceci n est pas mon nym
Some of the squirrels where I grew up were black. I never thought anything of it till I met my father-in-law, who was convinced they were a science experiment escaped from the nearby University.
80.
pacem appellant
@TaMara (HFG): This guy is my neighbor. No joke. I bike by Mark Rober’s house almost daily.
81.
Cheryl from Maryland
Years ago some jackal recommended “SIzzle n’ Heat” birdseed (capsicum infused birdseed). I started using it – no more squirrels. Indeed, the scent is powerful and long-lasting– once I had to change the seed to shell-on sunflower seeds to drive away the starlings (their beaks are large but soft, so they have trouble with shells). The capsicum odor kept the squirrels away for the two weeks it took to scare off the starlings. I can even alternate cheap birdseed with this stuff and have zero squirrel activity. Now I’m thinking of adding red pepper to my potted plants to keep the squirrels from digging in hopes of finding an acorn.
82.
Sab
@Ceci n est pas mon nym: Kent State in NE Ohio has black squirrels as unofficial mascots. Their alumns have little black squirrel stickers on their cars.
Urban legend is one of their groundskeepers smuggled a couple of them in from Ontario after a hunting or fishing trip, back when the border was open.
83.
cain
Huh.. the squirrels here don’t seem to do anything destructive.. they cutely chase each other on fence lines. The persimmons, red flowers, and tomatoes are all untouched.. I guess living under huge oak trees, there is plenty of food for these critters that they don’t really need all that other stuff.
I believe the red squirrels are native here in the pacific northwest, and they get punked by the grey squirrels constantly. I had no idea they were the shittier version.. I suppose if you’re getting transplanted by some other color squirrels you’d be pissed too.
Squirrels are a scourge. I have managed to defeat them with an extra-large squirrel baffle, but they still drive the little birds away with the aggression. (They eat eggs and babies too, when they can.)
Thanks! She’s aimed at this for a long while and it’s equal part pleasure and relief that it happened. Big school and you just can’t know.
The boy senior athlete is on the US Olympics swim team, so she’s in good company.
Still don’t know how they’re handling graduation. I’d love swarms of drones and Roombas delivering diplomas in a park or parking lot somewhere, but do they listen?
I think Larry Kramer himself would agree with the assessment that he was sort of a jerk. I saw an interview with him once, about 5 or 6 years ago, where he pretty much described himself that way. It was one of his strengths as an AIDS activist, I think. He didn’t care who didn’t like him, he wanted someone to pay attention. It worked for that very well and, without ACT UP, it may have taken a lot longer for anyone to do anything.
They’ll deliberately drop shit on you when you’re laying in the hammock.
This. When I moved into my house there was a deck in the back corner of the yard under the walnut tree. Stupid idea with just the tree (everything that falls off a walnut tree stains), but in late summer the squirrels would chew off the green fruit surrounding the nuts and spit them out on the people below. And they would move if you moved.
After one summer, all the fabric chairs were ditched for painted wood. Eventually I tore out that deck and put in a shed, and sit on the side steps to enjoy the yard during “harvest season”.
I swear they would kill for walnuts.
94.
Elizabelle
@trollhattan: Wow! That’s cool. Congrats to daughterhattan.
95.
Gin & Tonic
@Ohio Mom: You have to keep re-applying the grease every couple of days.
96.
Kent
@cain:I believe the red squirrels are native here in the pacific northwest, and they get punked by the grey squirrels constantly. I had no idea they were the shittier version.. I suppose if you’re getting transplanted by some other color squirrels you’d be pissed too.
Actually there are four native species of tree squirrels in the Pacific Northwest: western gray, Douglas, American red and northern flying squirrels. But they are all being displaced by the eastern gray squirrel that is more aggressive and less shy around people. It is a problem of some concern among biologists:
@Sab: Kent’s black squirrels are just darker Carolina grey squirrels. Columbus OH has fox squirrels. Big and red and aggressive. I used to trip over them in college. Mean guys, and not little. Michigan has tiny pine squirrels, also red and mean as Hell.
ETA Fox squirrels are the ultimate stand-your-ground guys without guns. Mean. Aggresive. Assholes. Rodents.
Am I missing something here? The squirrels can’t get up a greased pole so why not stick a bird feeder on a greased pole and top it off with one of those supposedly squirrel-proof wobbly saucer tops, also heavily greased? Seems like grease is the secret.
HAHAHAHAHA! I admire your naivete of the ingenuity of squirrels. We tried that. Didn’t work.
Reposted because first two comments posted had the wrong commenter name because my fingers go too fast and is now in moderation. LOL!
99.
Aleta
@Major Major Major Major: As are lots of writers and many activists and most performers. Are you calling him an asshole because of his personality? Or is it because of specific things he wrote or publicly criticized?
eta I don’t know about on twitter, but back when I used to read his stuff (80s, 90s) he was getting heaps of criticism from the gay community (that is, in big cities on the east and west coast).
The way I heard Kramer himself describe it, he was pretty much an asshole in every walk of his life. He knew it about himself. Don’t know why other people would be upset with an assessment he apparently agreed with. Doesn’t take anything away from his awesome work.
101.
Another Scott
@geg6: We used to have squirrels empty our “squirrel-proof” metal bird feeders of black oil sunflower seeds in about 2 days. :-/ I find that
Cole’s Hot Meats shelled sunflower seeds work really well. The squirrels and chipmunks leave it alone, while the birds love it. And there isn’t a mountain of sunflower husks to clean up any more, either.
If you don’t want to spend that much on feed, these RollerFeeders work very, very well too. Squirrels and chipmunks around here haven’t figured them out. (I have seen tiny mice inside them on occasion though.)
Yeah. Larry Kramer was known for being confrontational, and he took no prisoners. I think he would smile at being called an asshole in any remembrances of him (it will be fun to watch the euphemisms for that in the official obits), because he felt being an asshole was what it took, and it was effective in many ways.
You will recall, this was the Ronald Reagan cannot see AIDS era.
84 is a longer lifespan than he probably expected.
103.
Aleta
@geg6: I agree, it was part of how he operated. By choice and necessity, part of how he worked. Embraced. Like many other performers, etc. My question to mmmm is whether he’s talking about Kramer’s personality or whether it’s coming more from mmmm’s disagreement with some of Kramer’s writing or intentionally publicized opinions.
104.
Gin & Tonic
If Water Girl is around, there was a Cloudflare 503 a few minutes ago. Not as bad as yesterday, but still…
I thought Kramer was the shouty guy who dishes out bad financial advice on cable. Wrong Kramer, but now I know why I was so confused.
Surprised Trump doesn’t have the other Kramer in his administration.
106.
LuciaMia
That was so funny. But curious-why didnt he use one of those too-slippery-to-climb poles from the Ninja course for his bird feeder to begin with?
107.
Barbara
@Elizabelle: The New Yorker did a recent biographical article on Anthony Fauci, and it focused quite a bit on Larry Kramer, who was interviewed for it. They actually became friends. Fauci basically changed his view on policies for how to conduct clinical trials and a variety of other things that were seen as impediments to helping people infected with HIV at a time when it was a virtual death sentence, and he credited Larry Kramer and Michael Harrington for changing his mind.
108.
tam1MI
@Ceci n est pas mon nym: I grew up in Michigan, and there, it is an article of faith that black squirrels were developed on the campus of Michigan State University.
109.
trollhattan
Ran across this simple, cheap homemade squirrel guard for pole-mounted bird feeders that seems effective after a year’s use. Feeder needs to be in a clear area with no leaping spots nearby.
110.
Barbara
@LuciaMia: Well, it wouldn’t have been nearly as entertaining. We had a pole with a feeder and the squirrels had no difficulty shimmying up it, but my husband cut a big round of flexible plastic and fastened it half way up. It kept the squirrels from climbing up. Now, the birds make enough of a mess that the squirrels just hang out down at the bottom picking up the leftovers. We are okay with that for now.
111.
Miss Bianca
@tam1MI: I also grew up in Michigan, but sadly, I think the more likely explanation is that the black squirrels are just some sort of color mutation.
Although in my suburb, the origin story was that some homesick immigrants had imported them from England.
112.
CaseyL
I think one of the things that endear people about squirrels isn’t only their bright little eyes and bushy busy tails.
When they wait for you to notice them and give them something to eat, the ones around here tend to clasp one or both of their hands to their chests, looking for all the world like a pleading Victorian heroine. Very hard to resist.
113.
Elizabelle
@Barbara: I need to read that New Yorker article. Have it bookmarked already.
Very interesting about the friendship that developed. Had never heard that story.
114.
pacem appellant
@waratah: 1) He’s happily married with a son. 2) He’s mormon, and not the FLDS kind, so he’s definitely not available.
He has two other great videos (more than that actually). Check out the trip he took to the Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk, and of course, the glitter bomb.
I also grew up in Michigan, but sadly, I think the more likely explanation is that the black squirrels are just some sort of color mutation.
I tend to agree. A big strike against the “developed at MSU” theory is that, while black squirrels are fairly common everywhere else, there is not a one to be found on the campus!
The Capitol Park squirrels in Sac are ginormous and well-fed. They will take food from your hand and if you don’t have anything, you get the side-eye and start wondering how many it would take to bring you down.
@Sab: No – it’s spotty. The rock squirrels are the worst. They can be infected, but it doesn’t damage them much. So their fleas pick it up.
118.
leeleeFL
@Benw: I have had a runny ng cobvi with The Lord about the convenience if tRumo Pence and Lightening all of n the same place WITH live TV coverage so as to be leaving no doubt as to origin!
I am going to hell, amn’t I
119.
LuciaMia
they’ll sample every nearly-ripe tomato just once before they decide they don’t like tomatoes
And apples on my apple tree. You can see the fruit still hanging on the tree with a bite taken out of them.
And come October, theyll start trying to takes bites out of your front step pumpkins.
120.
CaseyL
@trollhattan: In prehistorical times, when I was an undergrad at U Washington, there used to be an in-house bakery in Raitt Hall. Raitt was one side of the “Social Sciences” quad, a huge square lined with cherry trees.
Raitt Hall bakery items were *wonderful.* People would buy them, then come out onto the square to sit on the grass and eat them. Squirrels knew about the place – possibly passing the lore down through the generations – and anytime there were students around, so were the squirrels.
Students shared, whether they wanted to or not. (Once a squirrel grabbed a saran-wrapped package of cookies right out of my hand.)
The squirrels around Raiit Hall had rolls of fat around their waistlines.
@trollhattan: In prehistorical times, when I was an undergrad at U Washington, there used to be an in-house bakery in Raitt Hall. Raitt was one side of the “Social Sciences” quad, a huge square lined with cherry trees.
Raitt Hall bakery items were *wonderful.* People would buy them, then come out onto the square to sit on the grass and eat them. Squirrels knew about the place – possibly passing the lore down through the generations – and anytime there were students around, so were the squirrels.
Students shared, whether they wanted to or not. (Once a squirrel grabbed a saran-wrapped package of cookies right out of my hand.)
The squirrels around Raiit Hall had rolls of fat around their waistlines.
When was this? I don’t remember any such bakery but then I was a grad student at UW from roughly 91-94. I was down in the marine sciences complex most of the time but when I got up to the main campus, my favorite hangout was the Burke Museum cafe which was just fabulous back then. I haven’t been back since the entire place was rebuilt.
124.
Keith P.
@charluckles: They look cute, and the cats love to chase them, but they’re assholes to each other and dig holes in the yard. I used to put tons of black sunflower seed out (their favorite), and the biggest one would chase the others off the pile. I’d put multiple piles out, and he would chase them away from *all* the piles.
It’s a pleasure to travel and notice the local squirrels and birds. Not knowing much about birds, it’s fascinating to see the range of squirrels out there …
Those squirrels are around 3000% smarter than our president. OK, 10,000%.
Come to think about it, they are so much smarter, it isn’t possible to measure how much dumber shitforbrains is.
130.
joel hanes
Palo Alto has many black squirrels. Gave me the creeps when I first lived there — I too was reminded of Mirkwood.
In my mom’s northern Iowa back yard, the little red squirrels harass the eastern gray squirrels, chasing them and sometimes biting off the end of a gray squirrel’s tail. The red squirrels are more destructive, too, and chewed their way into an outbuilding through a soffit, tore a hole in the roofing, and ripped pink fiberglass insulation out of the interior spaces of the walls and spread it all over. I hate those little fuckers.
Westerville, OH had a squirrel living in the trees that lined Main St. Little bastard would climb down to the bottom branches and scream at everyone walking by, inches from your head.
135.
Sab
@Ruckus: Fox squirrel? Those guys are mean, and bold.
136.
J R in WV
There are black squirrels in NW Ohio, we saw them when visiting 2nd cousins up there.
I went into town to the shops and store this afternoon, go home early afternoon, unloaded, filled the refrigerator, had a G&T… now I need a nap, badly.
Later, fellow jackals…
137.
debbie
To be honest, I think this squirrel catapult would work just as well.
138.
Geminid
I read that squirrels have double jointed, reversible ankles/wrists that enable them to run up and down trees so easily. A friend has a terrier that will lie totally still until a squirrel gets too close, then runs them down. Ambush predator.
Could be. I haven’t been back to Westerville in 20 years. No reason to go, my work moved and it is, or was a dry town. Had a temperance museum even.
140.
Aaron
“I want squirrels in my back yard”
so does Steve.
141.
phein60
@charluckles: This is true: They are destructive and greedy. They need to sharpen their teeth, and they will do that on fence gate latches, gas grill knobs, and on Christmas lights, which they will then bury in your garden.
Squirrel story: One day my housemate’s Persian had a squirrel treed. The squirrel was chattering at the cat, and you could see her thinking “I can wait all day, you WILL be mine!”. The tree was right next to the street, and as a car came down the street the squirrel streaked down the tree and crossed the street. Cat gave chase, and would have gone right under the car’s wheels if my housemate hadn’t screamed at her at the top of her lungs. Those little bastards are diabolically clever.
143.
mvr
How many do you want? And can you get me a license to send them to you?
We have dozens and that is dozens too many. They dig up everything we plant because of course it is easier to dig where we plant. And our neighbor – well they have been renovating to flip a house two doors down so maybe not really a neighbor, but a nice guy feeds them so many peanuts that they all have to come to our garden and bury the ones they can’t eat. I swear it is several gallons a week. They’re cute and funny and annoying and I’m happy to see a hawk fly by every now and then, but usually some smaller bird is dive bombing the hawk so I’m not sure that they’re doing me any good at getting rid of squirrels.
I’m a vegetarian (well fish too) but I am rooting for the predators in this case.
Comments are closed.
Share this ArticleLike this article? Email it to a friend!
Josie
My daughter-in-law sent me this yesterday. I laughed all the way through.
ChrisS
I will ship you as many as you want.
Benefits: you never have to fill a bird feeder again and your house gets new ventilation points.
charluckles
Do not want squirrels. They are rats in fancy sweaters. Do not be fooled. They are destructive, greedy, malicious assholes.
TaMara (HFG)
To hell with the squirrels, I want this guy as a neighbor.
ryk
Squirrels are a pain in the ass. Constantly finding new ways to destroy bird feeders and sometimes they take a bite out of every damned tomato in the garden just for kicks
evap
You will have to choose between home-grown tomatoes and squirrels. I wish I had the choice.
Steeplejack
Cole, you’ve got too many predators on staff.
Elizabelle
Loved this video. Hardly ever watch anything all the way through — this was 20 minutes of highly interesting and amusing film. No squirrels were harmed in the making of this video, even though it includes a squirrel “orbital” device.
I especially love the rewind of the squirrels’ action jumps. Back and forth and back and forth, and it loses nothing.
u
no, you do not want squirrels.
You also want birds, tomatoes, vegetables. You will lose them all to the squirrels. Also all red flowers, they like to chew those up too for some reason.
CaseyL
I loved this! The slow-mo motion analysis was fascinating: Squirrels are so much smarter than we think.
The videographer is Mark Rober. He’s a former NASA scientist, and has a whole YouTube channel of wonderful videos. (He’s also the guy who invented the Glitter Package Bomb to retaliate against porch package thieves, which is how he first became Internet Famous.)
hueyplong
Come to NC and take as many of my tree rats as you like.
Matt Smith
You want squirrels? You can have mine. The damn things eat our figs. We’d love to tell my mother-in-law how much we enjoyed the figs off the tree she bought us, but we never get any.
trollhattan
It certainly cements their place higher on the critter sophistication ladder. Thank god they’re not actually the size they attain on John Oliver’s show.
This guy’s porch pirate glitter bomb is another technical triumph.
MattF
He’s now got a quartet of well-trained squirrels. Supervised by one well-trained human.
MagdaInBlack
This is the same guy whose packages were stolen repeatedly, so he built an elaborate package with gps, cameras, a glitter spinner and fart spray, all which went off when the thief opened the stolen package.
Cameras caught all the reactions ? and because of gps, he was able to retrieve the “glitter bomb” packages.
trollhattan
@Matt Smith:
Squirrels and rats–the day and night shifts–clean out our persimmon, a tree that once overproduced to an absurd amount. There’s no stopping them short of shearing the thing to bush size and wrapping it in mesh. Probably electrified.
Gvg
Meh, squirrels eat all kinds of things including hoses, bird feeders, metal soffits, fiberglass insulation, air conditioning ductwork and garden crops just before they are ripe, so they leave your tomatoes with one bite left where you will find it. Forget it. My next door neighbor feeds them nd thinks they are cute so for peace, I don’t try to hard but all my bird feeders are high quality with squirrel baffles. I think the crows help repel them too though that has its own downside.
crows have been planting peanuts in my yard which are coming up in odd places. They also keep putting food they find in the birdbath which makes a muddy mess. Don’t seem to understand keeping water clean.
Tim C.
Phat Gus and I are soul mates. Seriously, that Squirrel would be my patronus.
MagdaInBlack
@CaseyL:
Yes!
geg6
This is hysterical. My John is at war with the squirrels in our yard who raid the bird feeders we have in the back yard regardless of any of the extreme measures he takes. If I show this to him, he’ll be scheming to figure out how to do it even better than the guy in the video. He’ll be obsessed. LOL!
satby
I have both squirrels and tomatoes. And a bird feeder they often raid. I lose a few tomatoes, but since some end up non-eatable by humans, I leave those available for the squirrels and take the others in.
I saw young grackles chasing a baby squirrel up and down the big tree out front just yesterday. They weren’t really big enough to hurt the baby or carry it off, but they kept harassing it until it ran back to the hole in the tree that I assumed the squirrel nest was.
frosty
@Gvg:
They chewed up the freshwater drain hose on our trailer when we parked it in back. Lucky it wasn’t the propane (why isn’t the stove coming on? KABOOM!)
HRA
No you cannot have my squirrels, rabbits, humming birds, cardinals, crows and any others I have missed listing here. In all the years I have been here, my plants have never been touched by any of them. Stay safe and healthy everyone.
WereBear
Red Squirrels are the worst.
Amir Khalid
I was amused that, even after realising that Gus isn’t a guy, he still calls her “he”.
Just One More Canuck
if you’re a Barcelona fan, you’ll want the Giant Malabar Squirrelhttps://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/yes-giant-technicolor-squirrels-actually-roam-forests-southern-india-180971886/
brendancalling
If you are a vegetable gardener, as I believe you are, you most definitely do NOT want squirrels in your yard.
Major Major Major Major
RIP Larry Kramer. Gay Twitter is outraged (outraged, I tell you!) that he’s described as a total jerk in that obituary, but I don’t see the lie.
JustRuss
My last house was under a big English walnut. There was always a squirrel or two running around the tree. I’d watch them grab a walnut, run to a branch above my house, and drop it to hear it go bang! on my metal roof. My bed was in a loft about 3 feet below the roof, that was fun to wake up to.
There was one that liked to climb down the tree til he was 3 feet from the ground and yell at the neighbor’s cat. When the cat finally couldn’t take anymore and went after him, he’d scamper about 20 feet up and turn around a heckle the cat some more. Cats are quick, but can’t come close to squirrels.
In summary, squirrels are entertaining, but they’re kinda jerks.
WaterGirl
At first I wanted to marry this guy, but alas, he is spoken for. So I will settle for best friend.
vigilhorn
@HRA: Everytime I put a potted plant outside the squirrels dig it up looking for whatever. I put a mothball in each pot now.
Sab
@charluckles: Calm down. They are just furry little tree rats. We don’t have bird feeders. We have squirrel feeders that we and the squirrels allow birds to use. Makes life much easier.
Sab
@vigilhorn: Great idea. Thanks.
waratah
@TaMara (HFG): I want him to marry my daughter!
Bnad
I’m seeing squirrels in the tree outside my window in Brooklyn, NY for the first time in 20 years. Only thing I can think is that they’re either wandering farther or surviving more due to reduced car traffic.
Sab
@JustRuss: Our next street over neighbors rescue racing greyhounds. Lots of our squirrels don’t have tails, due to teasing greyhounds. 0 to 45 mph in seconds those canine couch potatoes can do.
HinTN
@Major Major Major Major: No lies there.
LeftCoastYankee
I have a walnut tree in the back yard and a very large fir in the front. My roof is squirrel super-highway.
I tried pruning back the trees the first few years, and it just encouraged squirrel long jumping on the roof (usually starting at sunrise).
They are entertaining, but will chew through anything if they think they can hide some walnuts in it.
Major Major Major Major
@Sab: He was also, at a fundamental level, simply an asshole.
Hawes
I just want Phantastic Gus as a friend.
Kent
Around here in the Pacific Northwest the eastern grey squirrels are an invasive species that are driving out our more shy native western grey squirrels and red squirrels
https://extension.oregonstate.edu/news/how-help-oregons-native-western-gray-squirrel
https://www.dfw.state.or.us/wildlife/living_with/docs/TreeSquirrels.pdf
I don’t know the squirrel situation in the eastern half of they US but out there there is some concern that the native species are being diplaced.
patrick II
Another guy who’s home alone time was well spent:Basketball swish machine. And all I did was watch HBO.
Sayne
PBS NOVA did this exact thing in the 1990s, with the same results.
Squirrels in search of food are super clever.
Baud
God, I wish a squirrel were president.
J.
I always knew there was something a little squirrelly about you, John Cole. ;-)
That was AWESOME! Thanks for sharing.
WereBear
Governor Cuomo is on fire today. Certain people getting their own PowerPoint slides…
Elizabelle
@WereBear: Yeah. Listening to him now.
Taking aim at the states rights Confederate sympathizers who want to punish the blue states. Talking about the “United States.”
I do wince when he slams “Washington” — which includes Nancy Pelosi and the Democrats.
Josie
@WereBear:
I’m listening to him and rejoicing. He is telling big truths.
Elizabelle
Squirrel lives matter!
Josie
@Elizabelle:
He specifically called out McConnell and Scott for coming from states that take more from the treasury than they pay in and being unwilling to help states that pay more.
Sab
John Cole: You will never have squirrels with a house full of terriers.
joel hanes
This is my favorite approach to squirrel-proof bird feeders.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PfHu-UJaK0Q
Unfortunately, it requires batteries.
Elizabelle
Cuomo’s been setting the stage for infrastructure rebuilding to get the economy going for a few press conferences in a row now.
He’s right. The economy will not magically restart itself, and people need jobs and money is there to put them back to work. Paul Krugman is no doubt enjoying these remarks as well.
I wish we could nuke Mitch McConnell and Trump and all the bad Republicans from space.
Elizabelle
@Josie: Yes. Shame on Tim Scott for that ridiculous quote.
I was amazed to hear that Virginia receives so much federal funding. Thinking it must be the military (and government) installations.
Since NoVA is so prosperous, I assumed we were one of the “donors” to red states.
kindness
Growing up we had tree squirrels and I always liked them. They’d tame pretty easily if they knew you were going to feed them and not try to touch them. Out here in the Central Valley of Ca though we have ground squirrels. Ground squirrels live in holes in the ground and aren’t nearly as cute as tree squirrels. In fact they look more like rats with peach fuzz on their tails. They don’t seem to want to have anything to do me but it might be the dogs in the backyard.
You know who else tames well and are adorable when they have little ones following them around? Skunks. Damn they are cute. My grandfather would tame them while he stayed at our house in Westchester over the summer. We went away for the summer to CT. But our dog got sprayed every year upon our return and my folks asking him not to tame the skunks finally worked. Boo. Baby skunks are so cute.
trollhattan
@Kent:
John Muir’s favorite squirrel was the Douglas, a.k.a. chickaree. They’re charming companions during Sierra excursions, while my favorite small furry critters are the vanishing pikas, which are actually from the rabbit family.
Josie
All of you who hate squirrels need a corgi. My Duncan moves like he is shot out of a cannon when I open the sliding door. I have to bang on the door before I open it to give the squirrels a running start toward a tree. He actually got one early on, and it was immediately dead. He is such a sweetheart otherwise, I was dumbfounded.
Cheryl Rofer
As a bonus, New Mexico rock squirrels carry plague
Sab
@Major Major Major Major: Who is “he”?
Sab
@Cheryl Rofer: Don’t all western rodents carry plague?
Benw
The squirrels and birds in my yard have developed a little ecosystem where one squirrel jumps on and shakes the feeder and the rest of the squirrels and birds hop around on the ground underneath. Sometimes a bird will chase the squirrels away and sometimes a squirrel with chase the birds. It seems about 50/50 who wins.
BruceFromOhio
The furry little bastards are a royal pain in the ass. They have nothing better to do, and all day to do it, and an abundance of energy. This is a destructive combination, and grounds for constant battle and vigilance. And ours are in balance with the space available, i.e. not an infestation, it’s how they live. Between the classic grey squirrel and the little red guys (we have both), it’s the little guys that cause the most trouble. As @ryk noted, they’ll sample every nearly-ripe tomato just once before they decide they don’t like tomatoes. They dig holes everywhere: plots, pots, planters, hanging baskets, window boxes, doesn’t matter. They’re either digging for some long-lost nut, or digging to bury today’s nut, or digging just for the hell of it. MrsFromOhio recently lined up three new pots with soil ready for plants, and the little fuckers emptied out each one like it was a paying gig, new potting soil EVERYWHERE. They’ll deliberately drop shit on you when you’re laying in the hammock, and then chatter endlessly at each other while racing around the trees, driving the neighbors dog to tears. One chewed its way into the shed, and promptly tore into bags of mulch, using the shreds to make multiple nests in the eaves and making a spectacular mess in the process. When I patched the hole and cleaned up, it spent the next three days trying to dig through the wooden doors before finally giving up. The doors look like something gnawed off the corners.
Sure, they make cute videos. That’s about the only time they’re cute. DO. NOT. WANT.
zhena gogolia
@Sab:
Larry Kramer. I think he got the wrong addressee.
Sab
I have a yard full of tulips because my squirrels stole them from across the street neighbor.
Mary G
I loved the part where he makes the squirrel thrower hand operated so that pregnant Phat Gus won’t get launched. So sweet.
Sab
@zhena gogolia: Thanks.
Benw
@Elizabelle: it’s the only way to be sure.
Elizabelle
I love that Cuomo speaks so bluntly. He names McConnell, Tim Scott, Art Laffer and says “they’re lying.”
It is personal with him, because it’s an insult lobbed at New York State.
LivingInExile
Bushy tailed rats. I have a small, black, male cat that hates squirrels with a passion. No idea why. Across the yard and up in the trees he goes after them.
Ohio Mom
Am I missing something here? The squirrels can’t get up a greased pole so why not stick a bird feeder on a greased pole and top it off with one of those supposedly squirrel-proof wobbly saucer tops, also heavily greased? Seems like grease is the secret.
As someone who grew up on New York City surrounded by squirrels, I am inured to them. I was taught to give them wide berth because they can bite — one bit my cousin David during a preschool field trip to the playground.
They do make for an entertaining video though.
Major Major Major Major
@Sab: Larry Kramer, I see I hit the wrong reply button
danielx
@Sab:
Been wondering what happened to one in my yard that has about 90% of the fur missing from its tail.
Insolent little bastards.
patrick II
@Ohio Mom:
Not as much fun.
Roger Moore
@Ohio Mom:
I think the idea mutated partway through. He went from wanting to stop the squirrels from getting into the bird feeder to wanting to see how much trouble the squirrels would go through to get to the feeder. This is the attitude that makes him a successful YouTuber.
Sab
@LivingInExile: My dad’s cat used to kill squirrels, until he met his squirrel match. That rodent kicked his ass, and we all watched from inside behind a window. Now he is blind and safely inside my house. No outside cat for him anymore.
Kristine
That was great.
My backyard squirrels need to contend with Gaby, who in her prime knocked off invaders fairly regularly. She’s lost a step over the years, and sometimes sleeps through incursions. But she’s still a force to be reckoned with.
I will add that I have had great success with this feeder. https://www.chewy.com/homestead-super-stop-squirrel/dp/139820?
I have one on a post and another on the side of a tree, and neither one gets raided to any extent. There are gnaw marks on the hinges, and occasionally a squirrel will figure out how to reach up and under the flap and scoop out seed. They’re too small to do much damage. A raccoon otoh can empty the tree mounted feeder in minutes. However, for whatever reason that hasn’t happened very often. I’ve had both feeders for well over 10 years.
Elizabelle
Le sigh. And now some Trump ass kissing by Cuomo. “He’s a builder. He’s a developer.”
A failed one.
WaPost reporter asked if Trump agrees with McConnell and his ilk about the “blue state bailout.” Cuomo describes Trump as someone who wants to reopen the economy.
And with that, it’s over. No chance for another reporter to say “really?”
trollhattan
My kid just won her HS senior athlete of the year (via Facebook video). She’s chuffed!
Ceci n est pas mon nym
Some of the squirrels where I grew up were black. I never thought anything of it till I met my father-in-law, who was convinced they were a science experiment escaped from the nearby University.
pacem appellant
@TaMara (HFG): This guy is my neighbor. No joke. I bike by Mark Rober’s house almost daily.
Cheryl from Maryland
Years ago some jackal recommended “SIzzle n’ Heat” birdseed (capsicum infused birdseed). I started using it – no more squirrels. Indeed, the scent is powerful and long-lasting– once I had to change the seed to shell-on sunflower seeds to drive away the starlings (their beaks are large but soft, so they have trouble with shells). The capsicum odor kept the squirrels away for the two weeks it took to scare off the starlings. I can even alternate cheap birdseed with this stuff and have zero squirrel activity. Now I’m thinking of adding red pepper to my potted plants to keep the squirrels from digging in hopes of finding an acorn.
Sab
@Ceci n est pas mon nym: Kent State in NE Ohio has black squirrels as unofficial mascots. Their alumns have little black squirrel stickers on their cars.
Urban legend is one of their groundskeepers smuggled a couple of them in from Ontario after a hunting or fishing trip, back when the border was open.
cain
Huh.. the squirrels here don’t seem to do anything destructive.. they cutely chase each other on fence lines. The persimmons, red flowers, and tomatoes are all untouched.. I guess living under huge oak trees, there is plenty of food for these critters that they don’t really need all that other stuff.
Benw
@trollhattan: nice!
Baud
@trollhattan: Congrats to Kid Trollhatten.
cain
@WereBear:
I believe the red squirrels are native here in the pacific northwest, and they get punked by the grey squirrels constantly. I had no idea they were the shittier version.. I suppose if you’re getting transplanted by some other color squirrels you’d be pissed too.
jnfr
Squirrels are a scourge. I have managed to defeat them with an extra-large squirrel baffle, but they still drive the little birds away with the aggression. (They eat eggs and babies too, when they can.)
WereBear
@cain: Nature does favor the Sasser invader.
trollhattan
@Benw: @Baud:
Thanks! She’s aimed at this for a long while and it’s equal part pleasure and relief that it happened. Big school and you just can’t know.
The boy senior athlete is on the US Olympics swim team, so she’s in good company.
Still don’t know how they’re handling graduation. I’d love swarms of drones and Roombas delivering diplomas in a park or parking lot somewhere, but do they listen?
geg6
@Major Major Major Major:
I think Larry Kramer himself would agree with the assessment that he was sort of a jerk. I saw an interview with him once, about 5 or 6 years ago, where he pretty much described himself that way. It was one of his strengths as an AIDS activist, I think. He didn’t care who didn’t like him, he wanted someone to pay attention. It worked for that very well and, without ACT UP, it may have taken a lot longer for anyone to do anything.
Emma from FL
@Just One More Canuck: Holy crap! It’s a mezcal dream!
satby
@trollhattan: Well done her! Congrats!
LeftCoastYankee
@BruceFromOhio:
This. When I moved into my house there was a deck in the back corner of the yard under the walnut tree. Stupid idea with just the tree (everything that falls off a walnut tree stains), but in late summer the squirrels would chew off the green fruit surrounding the nuts and spit them out on the people below. And they would move if you moved.
After one summer, all the fabric chairs were ditched for painted wood. Eventually I tore out that deck and put in a shed, and sit on the side steps to enjoy the yard during “harvest season”.
I swear they would kill for walnuts.
Elizabelle
@trollhattan: Wow! That’s cool. Congrats to daughterhattan.
Gin & Tonic
@Ohio Mom: You have to keep re-applying the grease every couple of days.
Kent
Actually there are four native species of tree squirrels in the Pacific Northwest: western gray, Douglas, American red and northern flying squirrels. But they are all being displaced by the eastern gray squirrel that is more aggressive and less shy around people. It is a problem of some concern among biologists:
https://www.dfw.state.or.us/wildlife/living_with/docs/TreeSquirrels.pdf
Sab
@Sab: Kent’s black squirrels are just darker Carolina grey squirrels. Columbus OH has fox squirrels. Big and red and aggressive. I used to trip over them in college. Mean guys, and not little. Michigan has tiny pine squirrels, also red and mean as Hell.
ETA Fox squirrels are the ultimate stand-your-ground guys without guns. Mean. Aggresive. Assholes. Rodents.
geg6
@Ohio Mom:
HAHAHAHAHA! I admire your naivete of the ingenuity of squirrels. We tried that. Didn’t work.
Reposted because first two comments posted had the wrong commenter name because my fingers go too fast and is now in moderation. LOL!
Aleta
@Major Major Major Major: As are lots of writers and many activists and most performers. Are you calling him an asshole because of his personality? Or is it because of specific things he wrote or publicly criticized?
eta I don’t know about on twitter, but back when I used to read his stuff (80s, 90s) he was getting heaps of criticism from the gay community (that is, in big cities on the east and west coast).
geg6
@Aleta:
The way I heard Kramer himself describe it, he was pretty much an asshole in every walk of his life. He knew it about himself. Don’t know why other people would be upset with an assessment he apparently agreed with. Doesn’t take anything away from his awesome work.
Another Scott
@geg6: We used to have squirrels empty our “squirrel-proof” metal bird feeders of black oil sunflower seeds in about 2 days. :-/ I find that
Cole’s Hot Meats shelled sunflower seeds work really well. The squirrels and chipmunks leave it alone, while the birds love it. And there isn’t a mountain of sunflower husks to clean up any more, either.
If you don’t want to spend that much on feed, these RollerFeeders work very, very well too. Squirrels and chipmunks around here haven’t figured them out. (I have seen tiny mice inside them on occasion though.)
Good luck!
Cheers,
Scott.
Elizabelle
@Aleta:
@geg6:
Yeah. Larry Kramer was known for being confrontational, and he took no prisoners. I think he would smile at being called an asshole in any remembrances of him (it will be fun to watch the euphemisms for that in the official obits), because he felt being an asshole was what it took, and it was effective in many ways.
You will recall, this was the Ronald Reagan cannot see AIDS era.
84 is a longer lifespan than he probably expected.
Aleta
@geg6: I agree, it was part of how he operated. By choice and necessity, part of how he worked. Embraced. Like many other performers, etc. My question to mmmm is whether he’s talking about Kramer’s personality or whether it’s coming more from mmmm’s disagreement with some of Kramer’s writing or intentionally publicized opinions.
Gin & Tonic
If Water Girl is around, there was a Cloudflare 503 a few minutes ago. Not as bad as yesterday, but still…
trollhattan
@Elizabelle:
I thought Kramer was the shouty guy who dishes out bad financial advice on cable. Wrong Kramer, but now I know why I was so confused.
Surprised Trump doesn’t have the other Kramer in his administration.
LuciaMia
That was so funny. But curious-why didnt he use one of those too-slippery-to-climb poles from the Ninja course for his bird feeder to begin with?
Barbara
@Elizabelle: The New Yorker did a recent biographical article on Anthony Fauci, and it focused quite a bit on Larry Kramer, who was interviewed for it. They actually became friends. Fauci basically changed his view on policies for how to conduct clinical trials and a variety of other things that were seen as impediments to helping people infected with HIV at a time when it was a virtual death sentence, and he credited Larry Kramer and Michael Harrington for changing his mind.
tam1MI
@Ceci n est pas mon nym: I grew up in Michigan, and there, it is an article of faith that black squirrels were developed on the campus of Michigan State University.
trollhattan
Ran across this simple, cheap homemade squirrel guard for pole-mounted bird feeders that seems effective after a year’s use. Feeder needs to be in a clear area with no leaping spots nearby.
Barbara
@LuciaMia: Well, it wouldn’t have been nearly as entertaining. We had a pole with a feeder and the squirrels had no difficulty shimmying up it, but my husband cut a big round of flexible plastic and fastened it half way up. It kept the squirrels from climbing up. Now, the birds make enough of a mess that the squirrels just hang out down at the bottom picking up the leftovers. We are okay with that for now.
Miss Bianca
@tam1MI: I also grew up in Michigan, but sadly, I think the more likely explanation is that the black squirrels are just some sort of color mutation.
Although in my suburb, the origin story was that some homesick immigrants had imported them from England.
CaseyL
I think one of the things that endear people about squirrels isn’t only their bright little eyes and bushy busy tails.
When they wait for you to notice them and give them something to eat, the ones around here tend to clasp one or both of their hands to their chests, looking for all the world like a pleading Victorian heroine. Very hard to resist.
Elizabelle
@Barbara: I need to read that New Yorker article. Have it bookmarked already.
Very interesting about the friendship that developed. Had never heard that story.
pacem appellant
@waratah: 1) He’s happily married with a son. 2) He’s mormon, and not the FLDS kind, so he’s definitely not available.
He has two other great videos (more than that actually). Check out the trip he took to the Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk, and of course, the glitter bomb.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tk_ZlWJ3qJI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xoxhDk-hwuo
tam1MI
@Miss Bianca:
I tend to agree. A big strike against the “developed at MSU” theory is that, while black squirrels are fairly common everywhere else, there is not a one to be found on the campus!
trollhattan
@CaseyL:
The Capitol Park squirrels in Sac are ginormous and well-fed. They will take food from your hand and if you don’t have anything, you get the side-eye and start wondering how many it would take to bring you down.
Cheryl Rofer
@Sab: No – it’s spotty. The rock squirrels are the worst. They can be infected, but it doesn’t damage them much. So their fleas pick it up.
leeleeFL
@Benw: I have had a runny ng cobvi with The Lord about the convenience if tRumo Pence and Lightening all of n the same place WITH live TV coverage so as to be leaving no doubt as to origin!
I am going to hell, amn’t I
LuciaMia
And apples on my apple tree. You can see the fruit still hanging on the tree with a bite taken out of them.
And come October, theyll start trying to takes bites out of your front step pumpkins.
CaseyL
@trollhattan: In prehistorical times, when I was an undergrad at U Washington, there used to be an in-house bakery in Raitt Hall. Raitt was one side of the “Social Sciences” quad, a huge square lined with cherry trees.
Raitt Hall bakery items were *wonderful.* People would buy them, then come out onto the square to sit on the grass and eat them. Squirrels knew about the place – possibly passing the lore down through the generations – and anytime there were students around, so were the squirrels.
Students shared, whether they wanted to or not. (Once a squirrel grabbed a saran-wrapped package of cookies right out of my hand.)
The squirrels around Raiit Hall had rolls of fat around their waistlines.
WaterGirl
@geg6: I released them, and then deleted them when I saw that those were yours. :-)
leeleeFL
@leeleeFL: so I re read this mishmash after I could edit, so….sorry I did not proofread!
Kent
When was this? I don’t remember any such bakery but then I was a grad student at UW from roughly 91-94. I was down in the marine sciences complex most of the time but when I got up to the main campus, my favorite hangout was the Burke Museum cafe which was just fabulous back then. I haven’t been back since the entire place was rebuilt.
Keith P.
@charluckles: They look cute, and the cats love to chase them, but they’re assholes to each other and dig holes in the yard. I used to put tons of black sunflower seed out (their favorite), and the biggest one would chase the others off the pile. I’d put multiple piles out, and he would chase them away from *all* the piles.
burnspbesq
@trollhattan:
Woo-hoo! Good for her.
Origuy
The first time I saw black squirrels was in Stanley Park in Vancouver. I thought of the black squirrels in Mirkwood in The Hobbit.
rikyrah
Hilarious, Cole???
Elizabelle
It’s a pleasure to travel and notice the local squirrels and birds. Not knowing much about birds, it’s fascinating to see the range of squirrels out there …
Ruckus
@CaseyL:
Those squirrels are around 3000% smarter than our president. OK, 10,000%.
Come to think about it, they are so much smarter, it isn’t possible to measure how much dumber shitforbrains is.
joel hanes
Palo Alto has many black squirrels. Gave me the creeps when I first lived there — I too was reminded of Mirkwood.
In my mom’s northern Iowa back yard, the little red squirrels harass the eastern gray squirrels, chasing them and sometimes biting off the end of a gray squirrel’s tail. The red squirrels are more destructive, too, and chewed their way into an outbuilding through a soffit, tore a hole in the roofing, and ripped pink fiberglass insulation out of the interior spaces of the walls and spread it all over. I hate those little fuckers.
Old meme
Ruckus
@Sab:
I think those grayhounds manage their top speed in a few feet. Amazing dogs.
dc
So, all squirrels are male, according to this … person.
mrmoshpotato
Hahahaha – so true.
Ruckus
@Sab:
Westerville, OH had a squirrel living in the trees that lined Main St. Little bastard would climb down to the bottom branches and scream at everyone walking by, inches from your head.
Sab
@Ruckus: Fox squirrel? Those guys are mean, and bold.
J R in WV
There are black squirrels in NW Ohio, we saw them when visiting 2nd cousins up there.
I went into town to the shops and store this afternoon, go home early afternoon, unloaded, filled the refrigerator, had a G&T… now I need a nap, badly.
Later, fellow jackals…
debbie
To be honest, I think this squirrel catapult would work just as well.
Geminid
I read that squirrels have double jointed, reversible ankles/wrists that enable them to run up and down trees so easily. A friend has a terrier that will lie totally still until a squirrel gets too close, then runs them down. Ambush predator.
Ruckus
@Sab:
Could be. I haven’t been back to Westerville in 20 years. No reason to go, my work moved and it is, or was a dry town. Had a temperance museum even.
Aaron
“I want squirrels in my back yard”
so does Steve.
phein60
@charluckles: This is true: They are destructive and greedy. They need to sharpen their teeth, and they will do that on fence gate latches, gas grill knobs, and on Christmas lights, which they will then bury in your garden.
It’s how they are. Hard to believe that they were once a preferred pet in the US https://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/pet-squirrel-craze
JustRuss
Squirrel story: One day my housemate’s Persian had a squirrel treed. The squirrel was chattering at the cat, and you could see her thinking “I can wait all day, you WILL be mine!”. The tree was right next to the street, and as a car came down the street the squirrel streaked down the tree and crossed the street. Cat gave chase, and would have gone right under the car’s wheels if my housemate hadn’t screamed at her at the top of her lungs. Those little bastards are diabolically clever.
mvr
How many do you want? And can you get me a license to send them to you?
We have dozens and that is dozens too many. They dig up everything we plant because of course it is easier to dig where we plant. And our neighbor – well they have been renovating to flip a house two doors down so maybe not really a neighbor, but a nice guy feeds them so many peanuts that they all have to come to our garden and bury the ones they can’t eat. I swear it is several gallons a week. They’re cute and funny and annoying and I’m happy to see a hawk fly by every now and then, but usually some smaller bird is dive bombing the hawk so I’m not sure that they’re doing me any good at getting rid of squirrels.
I’m a vegetarian (well fish too) but I am rooting for the predators in this case.