Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

The willow is too close to the house.

I thought we were promised Infrastructure Week.

The house always wins.

Mission Accomplished!

Women: they get shit done

Let me eat cake. The rest of you could stand to lose some weight, frankly.

Today in our ongoing national embarrassment…

Something seems odd about that, but i have been drinking.

I did not have this on my fuck 2020 bingo card.

Sitting here in limbo waiting for the dice to roll

Wow, you are pre-disappointed. How surprising.

Four legs? good! two legs? we’re not so sure…

A snarling mass of vitriolic jackals

Make the republican party small enough to drown in a bathtub.

Trump is going to draw a dick on that dog with a sharpie, isn’t he?

Balloon Juice has never been a refuge for the linguistically delicate.

This is a big f—–g deal.

If you tweet it in all caps, that makes it true!

And we’re all out of bubblegum.

Usually wrong but never in doubt

‘Forty-two’ said Deep Thought, with infinite majesty and calm.

Technically true, but collectively nonsense

I swear, each month of 2020 will have its own history degree.

Reality always wins in the end.

You are here: Home / Nature & Respite / Much Needed Respite: Viral Humor

Much Needed Respite: Viral Humor

by | 148 Comments

This post is in: ,

Sorry, it’s still virus related. Been a very rough day here, so I needed some fun.

That little girl is me. LOL

Love the spitting out version of this.

Have we seen these before?

Still funny even if we have.  And finally…

Today’s theme song:

How is everyone doing? Hanging in there?

Tell me something fun if you can…otherwise, kvetch away! We need a place to vent about self-quarantine!

Open thread

Reader Interactions

148Comments

  7. 7.

    WaterGirl

    @Major Major Major Major: Hey M4, do you want to try cole’s tweet that just worked for me so we can see what’s up with the embedded tweet not working for you?

    Or are you using a different process than I do?  I click on embed tweet, copy code, click on the text tab, paste it in, submit comment.

  10. 10.

    Llelldorin

    One cool side effect of the shelter-in-place order in the Bay Area is that we’ll all come out of this looking like shipwreck survivors—barbers are nonessential.

  11. 11.

    Mary G

    i hope some body has a plan for these proposed corporate bailo… https://t.co/YjSBtvVXse— darth™ (@darth) March 17, 2020

    Link is to Elizabeth Warren’s thread on corporate bailouts – no bonuses or dividends, stock buybacks permanently prohibited, $15 minimum wage, and more.

  18. 18.

    Mary G

    The Vatican canceled Easter. You know how much stuff has to suck for the Pope to be like "you know what, this year Jesus stays dead".— Jesse Case (@jessecase) March 17, 2020

  20. 20.

    Baud

    @Mary G:

    Too bad she’s a chick.  She could have been a contender.

    Also, she should talk about “billionaires” more. People like that.

  21. 21.

    kindness

    There will be those that don’t make it through this quarantine period all that sanely.  What I find interesting is what passes for funny depending on the length of the quarantined period.

  22. 22.

    MomSense

    @Major Major Major Major:

    Aww, he’s so beautiful.

    Tonight the street where my office is was on the news because it’s deserted and normally a hub of people and activity.  It was so strange to walk out of my office and not see another soul.

    My morning commute is bizarre – no cars.  Today there was a warning that one of the exits was closed because of an accident.  When I drove past it appeared to be a hook and ladder truck in the ditch next to the off ramp.  Pre pandemic that is a 1 1/2 – 2 hour traffic delay.  Today I just zipped past.

    I’m feeling a lot of anxiety about exposing my mom, but she seems to be very zen about the whole thing.  My son with asthma is not taking this seriously enough and I’m ready to kidnap him, his SO and their puppy, and bring him home.

  27. 27.

    geg6

    Well, the campus is pretty much empty and they told us to stay home for the duration. I went in as part of the skeleton crew the last two days but that’s over.  Now working from home.  The state wine and spirit stores close tonight at 9 and they are not even doing online sales.  I tried to stop yesterday to pick up a few bottles of wine and couldn’t get in at all.  So I went at lunch.  Much less crowded but still busier than usual in the middle of the day.  I have never seen the shelves that empty.  They had only six bottles of my favorite Pinot noir, so I got four and left two for someone else.  There was not a bottle of vodka in the whole place.  Sure wish they were doing online sales, in case this thing drags on and on.  And I, too, am about a week out from my usual hair appointment.  I think that will be my biggest hardship.  I hate when my hair grows in and touches my ears and neck.

    In the main, though, I think I’ll do fine.  I am an introvert, so this should be right up my alley.

    Uh oh, West by god Virginia is reporting it’s first case.  Good thing Cole has been self-isolating for years now.

  28. 28.

    Mary G

    People are working out this video meeting thing. Last night on wife’s church elder call, one dog would bark from an unmuted line, then that would set off all the other dogs off on the other unmuted lines, a sort of dog domino theory, until the audio crapped out.
    — AllInThisTogetherHat (@Popehat) March 17, 2020

  29. 29.

    Gvg

    Tomorrow is staff training in tools to work from home including taking calls. They sent the professors and students home at the beginning of the week except those that can’t go home. Dining halls stay open. Some buildings are going to card swipe access so only actual students and staff can get in…wow.

    tonight I need to get a new printer working so I can print from my cell or iPad. Watch a bunch of training videos too. Then drop my iPad at my parents so my nephew  in (5th grade) can video conference with his class while I go to work. Wipe it for germs and drop off. It’s the only device that has worked for his class. Not sure what we’ll do Friday. He may have to call teacher. He is missing his friends and stayed on the meeting app after the teacher left to do homework with his friends.

    Everyone is scrambling to find things that work. The first app the teacher tried only worked for about half the class. This one managed the class but most of the time was taken up getting logged in and sorting tech difficulties. I bet my work first days are going to be like that too.

  32. 32.

    Mary G

    Honestly my favorite coronavirus interview was the other day when a public health expert’s toddler grandson wanted to ask us about gorillas— Olivia Messer 💀 (@OliviaMesser) March 17, 2020

  33. 33.

    JPL

    Since Anne posted Actioncookbook’s site.. I’ve been listening to the doors and all of a sudden I’m 18 again..   I loved them.

  34. 34.

    Ohio Mom

    Has everybody already heard the joke, Experts are expecting a baby boom in nine months, and then in 2033, the rise of tne QuaranTEENS?

    Veal, all week.

  38. 38.

    Gin & Tonic

    First day of most employees working from home was fairly uneventful for those few of us who went into a mostly empty office so we could support the others. Makes me think that in a lot of cases “I’m going to be working from home” means “I’m going to be sitting on the couch watching Netflix and maybe checking my e-mail every couple of hours.” But what they do with this time is above my pay grade.

  39. 39.

    NotMax

    When is Dolt 45 going to start blaming the Sun?

    “Look it up. It’s got a corona, doesn’t it? Do the math.”

    @mrmoshpotato

    Huckleberry Hound. Also too, Snagglepuss.

  40. 40.

    Avalune

    To entertain myself I’ve been asking for an animal + activity and drawing those and putting them up on my Instagram feed. So far I have a bear reading the paper, owl hanging clothes, otter fishing, and kiwi surfing. I’ve got some other suggestions to draw yet.

    I’m @h.l.barnwell and taking more suggestions if anyone wants to play.

  46. 46.

    Martin

    @WaterGirl: Feds should give them a bailout if they guarantee that every gambler that loses money can cash out and demand they get reimbursed for their losses.

    Seems only fair.

  53. 53.

    JPL

    Earlier I credited Anne for making me feel 18 but it was Tamara.   hmmm      Let me mention again how much I am enjoying listening to the doors on youtube

  57. 57.

    Avalune

    Oh if anyone from here starts following me – send me a DM so I can follow you back (and tag you if you had an animal request).

  58. 58.

    Ken

    @NotMax: I thought a lot of Adelson’s casinos were overseas; Southeast Asia, maybe?  I doubt those are doing a roaring business now.

  59. 59.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    not humor but Charlie Pierce is tweeting out his favorite versions of his favorite Irish songs

    The Wind That Shakes The Barley.

    @Catherine D.: 2005!  I remember she and Mel on Curb Your Enthusiasm, a very Brooks/David take on Larry starring in the LA version of The Producers. I would’ve said it was five or six years ago.

  63. 63.

    Martin

    Welp, my D&D group is now shut down.

    Orange County now has SF’s shelter in place order effective tomorrow night. Palm Springs does as well. OC doesn’t report a lot of cases (very surprisingly given how many strong ties we have all across asia) but maybe the hospitals are getting hit hard.

  70. 70.

    The Dangerman

    @The Thin Black Duke:

    Go bald, baby.

    Did that just this morning; generally I’m too busy to shave as opposed to clip, but I’ve got the time suddenly. Sure, the hair can choose to come in gray, but I get to decide if it sees the blade.

    I need some lollipops so I can go out as Kojak.

  80. 80.

    catclub

    @Mary G: Pope to be like “you know what, this year Jesus stays dead”.

     

    Well, if they don’t kill him in Good Friday services, save it all for next year.

  82. 82.

    Anotherlurker

    @mrmoshpotato: For a fresh look at the Hanna/Barbera Saturday morning cartoons, check out “Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law”. It is a wonderful sendup of the genre, with the added bonus of having William Hanna and Joseph Barbera as Executive Producers/Writers.
    It is laugh out loud funny and obviously written with love. You will never view their superheros in the same light.

  83. 83.

    Ivan X

    Hey FP’ers, can we get an artists/musicians/writers/crafters/etc thread going? I love those, and it seems like a time when people have an opportunity to work on a project that they might not otherwise have. Hell, I’m up for reading about what anyone’s project is right now, whether it be home reorganizing, redefining their exercise life, online learning in some topic, etc. Let’s make the most of what otherwise could be boredom, fear, and looping news consumption furthering those things.

  84. 84.

    LuciaMia

    Oy,  thought Id put in a delivery (I use Peapod) near the end of the week. Just thought Id check their delivery time slots. Everything is sold out up till next Tuesday where the list ends. Wowee!

    Glad Im still in pretty good shape, in the fridge and pantry. Two bags of King Arthur flour; Im wont run out of bread.

    But no ice cream…yup.

  85. 85.

    Martin

    @Leto: Unfortunately, I don’t actually have a D&D group. My friends are boring

    I should add – I’m a bit behind on Critical Role. Been saving them for this occasion.

  90. 90.

    Yutsano

    @Leto: FYI: it’s a Mormon torture night. Which after today will feel like cake. Oh and corned beef and cabbage for dinner. After today I will enjoy that rather heartily.

  92. 92.

    Avalune

    @TheflipPsyd: I can probably get away with it – less dark/obvious than one of my FB friends who wants a dragon burning down the white house. :D

  94. 94.

    Steeplejack (sky-high wi-fi)

    @JPL:

    I love the Doors. Can’t do video on the plane, so listen to “Break on Through” for me. Maybe add “Crystal Ship.” Oh, and of course the long version of “Light My Fire.”

  95. 95.

    Avalune

    @TaMara (HFG): Cute!

    Good thing they keep implying we’ll be quarantined longer than 2 weeks – I’m getting quite a list going and I’m super stoked about it.

  96. 96.

    The Dangerman

    @🐾BillinGlendaleCA:

    I’ll just let it grow out.

    I’ve done the pony tail thing, but I’ve had Poly Gals rub my head right after a close shave (sure, they are young enough to be my daughters  grandchildren and generally shitfaced, but that’s OK); that never happens to me with long hair.

  101. 101.

    Martin

    Looking at voting crosstabs, and boy the youth vote seems a lot higher than usual. What’s wrong boomers, afraid to go out and vote?

     

    Too soon?

  106. 106.

    Kelly

    @Major Major Major Major:

    learning how to do a crew cut.

    As my hair went gray it developed unmanageable weird cowlicks. I’ve done the self crew cut for 5~6 years now. You can hear when the clipper is cutting hair.  I go out to the porch and keep clipping till it sounds done :-)

  109. 109.

    Mary G

    My inner child loved this one:

    Saw this quote & thought it was hilarious, but true. 😂”Trump will forever be known as the President who was so full of sh*t, the country ran out of toilet paper.”— Leona Lioness ❤ #Resist (@LeonaLioness666) March 17, 202

     

     

    I'm being told @DearAuntCrabby came up with this. Credit to her! It's hilarious! Thank you for that! 👏👏— Leona Lioness ❤ #Resist (@LeonaLioness666) March 17, 2020

  112. 112.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    Rachel Maddow and Mike Bloomberg look like they’re gonna violate the six feet rule to start slapping each other

  116. 116.

    JPL

    @Leto: As Stephanie Ruhle says there is always good news. We need to hope that the orange white supremacist doesn’t pardon him first.

  118. 118.

    LuciaMia

    On FXX every Simpsons episode tonight is St. Pat’s, Irish or heavy-drinking related.

  120. 120.

    Steeplejack (sky-high wi-fi)

    @NotMax:

    I never want to watch some long-ass video on the plane. I’d rather do Times crosswords or surf the ‘Net. I just can’t see the YouTube videos embedded in tweets.

  122. 122.

    lamh36

    anyone FP’er gonna put up a primary election thread.  There are 3 states with results tonight

  123. 123.

    NotMax

    @Steeplejack

    On planes I mostly doze. The downloads (things like episodes of TV shows) come in handy during the dead time cooling my heels in the airport.

    Lots of people not aware of the downloading option. No connectivity necessary to watch them once they’ve been downloaded.

  124. 124.

    lamh36

    CNN has a Justice Dem person on the electio analysis panel, you can guess she’s already trying to spin Bernie’s getting shellacked in Florida..

  125. 125.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    @lamh36: and Ohio sounding hinkier and hinkier

    I’m okay with postponing the primary, but…. June 2? They can’t come up with a vote-by-mail program in six weeks? seven?

  127. 127.

    lamh36

    Projection CNN: Joe Biden winner in Florida. Illinois too early to call. Biden has won 17 states, and I’m betting by the end of the night it’ll be 19

  133. 133.

    Kent

    Kornacki saying that FL turnout projected to hit 2.1 million which would exceed the 1.7 million from 2016.  Surprising.   Obviously a lot of that is early and absentee votes.

  134. 134.

    Kent

    @lamh36:CNN has a Justice Dem person on the electio analysis panel, you can guess she’s already trying to spin Bernie’s getting shellacked in Florida..

    What’s the spin?  Must be pretty fucking creative.

  136. 136.

    Kent

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist:

    @lamh36: and Ohio sounding hinkier and hinkier

    I’m okay with postponing the primary, but…. June 2? They can’t come up with a vote-by-mail program in six weeks? seven?

    Vote by mail requires optical scanning machines for counting.  And then the computer systems for counting.  Do they have them?  Enough of them?  What is the normal voting method in Ohio?

  137. 137.

    Sister Golden Bear

    @Martin: Quite possible about the hospitals. Unconfirmed rumor is that a lot of hospitals here in the Bay Area were getting lots of likely cases, but they can’t be confirmed because there’s not enough tests available.

  140. 140.

    Martin

    @Kent: Doesn’t require optical scanners. You only need those to count quickly. Everyone has some scanners, some states have lots of scanners. So, you share scanners across states, you do some manual counting (we’ve been voting since long before there were optical scanners) and it gets done. What you lose is the election night TV show telling you who won.

  143. 143.

    Amir Khalid

    @Kelly: I do the same.

    Right now, I’m in a bad situation. In lockdown AND internet to laptop is down. I’m on the fone, which I HATE using.

  144. 144.

    FelonyGovt

    @Martin: A party in one of my cases asked for an extension, saying that Orange County “issued an order prohibiting public and private gatherings of any number of people, including at places of work”. That can’t be, can it? That would bar a married couple from being in the same room…

  145. 145.

    Amir Khalid

    @Kelly:

    I do the same.

    I’m in a bad way right now. Lockdown, ISP to laptop down. I’m on the fone and I hate BJ on the fone.

  147. 147.

    Amir Khalid

    @WaterGirl:

    I also mistyped my email when trxing to post here. Grumble.

    And I need to call the hospital to reschedule my appointments because they’re only seeing emergency cases right now. More grumble.

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