I am really struggling to make it through this “winter.” I know I have said this a couple times, but this has just been a brutal few months for me. I have had basically a sustained sinus headache/infection since November, and I just have no energy, no desire to do anything, I am apathetic and indifferent, don’t want to deal with people- it’s just been super bad this year. And please, I do not need medical advice or emotional support, I am just venting.
Normally after November, we get a sustained freeze, and all the mold and the bugs and everything dies off. Not this year- the temperature has been yo-yoing up and down and up and down, blowing up my sinuses, and there is nothing my doctors can do. I even went to the dentist a while back because I thought I had a toothache and needed a root canal, but nope, x-rays showed it was just my sinuses pushing into my teeth.
On top of all that, the political situation is just shit. I honestly am starting to feel like there is no Democrat who will beat Trump in November. I just am not feeling it. I definitely do not think that Bernie will win should he win the nomination. Man, I wish I had the confidence of a Bernie stan. They just seem so confident, so convinced, so sure. I personally think he would lose 40 states if he got nominated. I think the notion he would have won WV in 2016 is a fucking pipe dream, but I hear them claim it all the time. The only thing that reassures me is that I am so frequently wrong about everything. I mean, fer fucks sake, I was a lifelong Republican in WV until 2005, the moment I switched to Democrat the state all went Republican. So the one thing you can really bank on is me being wrong.
And then there is just Trump. All fucking day every fucking day that fucking name. Trump. Trump. Trump. There’s no fucking escape. Every day he does something new and awful. It’s just a relentless stream of bile. And the nihilism. No one fucking believes in anything. It’s all just bullshit.
So yeah. That’s my headspace right about now. I just keep getting up and plodding forward. In a couple weeks I will see light at the end of the tunnel and plant my seedlings, and then it will start to become spring and I will begin to feel human again. But man, this year has been rough.
I’d kill for three weeks of below 20 weather and snow. Honestly, I would.