Every Twitter argument ever.
??: https://t.co/whxfGsVmZZ pic.twitter.com/0yZGluX4jM
— Paul Bronks (@SlenderSherbet) September 20, 2019
In all such instances, be the monkey.
— Paul Bronks (@SlenderSherbet) September 20, 2019
This post is in: Music, Nature & Respite, Open Threads, All we want is life beyond the thunderdome
Every Twitter argument ever.
??: https://t.co/whxfGsVmZZ pic.twitter.com/0yZGluX4jM
— Paul Bronks (@SlenderSherbet) September 20, 2019
In all such instances, be the monkey.
— Paul Bronks (@SlenderSherbet) September 20, 2019
Comments are closed.
mrmoshpotato
I was about to ask for ducks and/or doggos. I’ll settle for a monkey showing its ass to a dog.
Brachiator
I’ve been super busy recently. The good thing is that I have not kept up with the Trump madness.
Also, I only recently saw the new video of the Beatles Here Comes the Sun. Made me smile. Loved the candid photos and videos of the Fab Four.
https://youtu.be/KQetemT1sWc
Comrade Colette Collaboratrice
I’m looking for suggestions on what to do when Jehovah’s Witnesses show up at my door. They left me alone for years, but they’re back in force – there must be a new coven leader in town.
??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ??
Shock the Monkey!
Mnemosyne
@Comrade Colette Collaboratrice:
I once had a boyfriend who would greet them at the door while cleaning a shotgun, but check your local gun laws first. Really gruesome Halloween decorations all over the front lawn might help.
Honestly I think your only hope is to treat them as spammers and refuse to open the door.
JPL
@Comrade Colette Collaboratrice: Say no thank you and shut the door. That works for me.
Orange is the New Red
@Comrade Colette Collaboratrice: you could do as an old friend of mine did — answer the door naked.
dmsilev
@Comrade Colette Collaboratrice: Years ago, I heard a hilarious story which worked wonders for getting rid of JWs. Guy was a deer hunter, and he was engaged in cutting up a carcass into steaks etc. Messy work, so he was wearing a (blood covered) apron. His kitten was curious and tried to get on the table, so he grabbed it, and at that point the doorbell rang. So, the JWs were greeted with the sight of guy in bloody apron, holding a meat cleaver in one hand and a squirming kitten in the other.
They never came back.
trollhattan
@Comrade Colette Collaboratrice:
Pretend to be a warehouse ministry fundy who has been told in no uncertain terms JW’s are heathens doomed to eternity in hell, then invite them to repent with you on Sunday.
Or, “How am I supposed to explain to my little (boy/girl/armadillo) that she no longer gets to celebrate Christmas and her birthday?”
Or, “Tell me, how many JWs are there? And how many get to live in that heavenly city on earth? Don’t you feel guilty for kicking somebody else out to get yourself inside?”
JPL
@Comrade Colette Collaboratrice: If shutting the door doesn’t work tell them you’re Jewish. An opinion writer in a local newspaper said she is and uses it often.
HeleninEire
I Love Paul Bronks. When politics is stressing me I go to his Twitter feed and he always makes me laugh.
evodevo
@Comrade Colette Collaboratrice: I bought a handfull of “NonTracts” from FFRF – detailing what is wrong with various fundie viewpoints and right winger memes like “America is Xtian”, and when they come to the door, I say : “I’ll read yours, if you’ll read this.” They run away like scalded cats…mumbling all the while. Works like a charm…
Brachiator
@Comrade Colette Collaboratrice:
I just say no thank you. Just not a big deal.
Sometimes I would be approached while waiting for my bus. I would sometimes engage them. I would ask if it is true that they don’t vote and are apolitical.
During WW2, Hitler persecuted them because they refused to join or even much acknowledge the Nazi Party.
Another Scott
@Comrade Colette Collaboratrice: A group of them came to my door with a youngster dressed up in a shirt and tie. :-/ I just said, no thanks. They haven’t been back, that I’ve noticed. I feel for the faithful in those groups. They’re told they have a responsibility to “save” the rest of us, after all… I also feel for the Cub Scouts, and people in their school bands, etc., that get tasked with begging neighbors to donate or buy vastly over-priced popcorn. I’d much rather pay higher taxes to not have to be bothered to directly support basic things like that in schools. Grrr…
You could put up a “No Soliciting” sign on your door or something. Might work. ;-)
Good luck.
Cheers,
Scott.
Dan B
@Comrade Colette Collaboratrice: My partner’s dad used to greet them with, “No thanks, we’re Christian.” Or he would say, “Jesus Christ! What’s that bastard up to these days?”
When I worked in restaurants I’d often get to bed after 2 AM. I greeted them at 8 AM in my pajamas – boxers, if they were lucky.
Your methods may vary.
Gravie
That’s one of my favorite Joni Mitchell songs! So few people knew what I was talking about any time I mentioned it that I started to wonder if I had just imagined it into being.
Mnemosyne
@Brachiator:
In some areas, the JW’s are SUPER aggressive — it probably depends on the local leadership.
Back in the Chicago suburbs, some of them inserted themselves into my friend’s house when she was alone there after she got her wisdom teeth out and was too spacey to refuse them. Her mother came home from the drugstore and had to shoo them out because they’d been haranguing my friend for at least half an hour. It sounds like CCC may be in one of those areas.
The ones out here in California seem to be satisfied with handing you a copy of the Watchtower and moving on.
Amir Khalid
@dmsilev:
Cool story.
Brachiator
@Mnemosyne:
I’ve never seen super aggressive JWs in Southern California. And even elsewhere, they back off when I’ve been quiet but direct. They are just flogging their religion. But then again, I don’t jump through hoops for any marketers. The most obnoxious was a phone marketer supposedly soliciting for a police charity.
I actually like how the JW folk have modernized their stuff. They simplified their logo to read simply JW, and you can scan their literature to get a version of the Bible.
And no, I’m not shilling for them. As noted, if my morning bus is late I will actually engage with them if they come by. If they were obnoxious or persistent, it might be another matter. I did lose patience with some anti abortion zealots outside a movie theater a while back.
debbie
I just walked by a house in my neighborhood with four yapping, raucous dachshunds. Now I know what to do next time.
Frankensteinbeck
@Comrade Colette Collaboratrice:
I have only ever had JW’s come once. I tried to be polite, and accepted their literature. I was curious what their gimmick was. They claimed to be the correct sect of Christianity because only they made the math of Jesus’s birth line up with Hebrew prophecies. Spoiler: Their math was wrong.
mrmoshpotato
@debbie: Police blotter: Local woman moons weiner dogs.
Amir Khalid
I have on occasion seen pairs of white guys out and about in KL. They’re always in pairs and in uniform: black slacks, white shortsleeves, dark skinny tie. I don’t know if they’re Mormons or Jehovah’s Witnesses. But from what I know of Malaysians, this is not a suitable market for evangelism by door-to-door canvassing, if that’s what they’re here to do. You’d be inviting trouble for yourself and your church if you tried it in a Muslim neighbourhood, and I don’t think other neighbourhoods would be much if any more welcoming. And who the hell thinks white boys evangelising in Asia is a good idea anyway?
Shana
@Comrade Colette Collaboratrice: This is what worked for me with Mormons. There’s an LDS church at the end of our street so we used to get regular visits. I was always firm but polite that I was not interested. After about 4 visits in the span of a year and a half I got a visit on a bad day when I had no patience for them. I swore a blue streak, berating them for all the visits over the past period and told them if any of them ever came back I’d sic the dog on them followed by a call to the police. We’ve never had another visit and that was about 15 years ago.
Might be worth a try.
Shana
@JPL: That didn’t work for us (see above comment) as we have a mezzuzah on our front door.
SectionH
@dmsilev: Omg, that’s funny. Read it to Mr S and even he was LOLing big time.
SectionH
@Comrade Colette Collaboratrice: My method is what Mnem suggested: don’t answer the door.
@JPL: Didn’t work for a good friend who was Jewish. At all. But obviously that kind of thing will vary based on the actual people, and as CCC put it, whoever’s running the coven.
NotMax
This morning finally got around to replacing the living room ceiling fixture with an LED unit purchased this past spring. Only downside is that now there’s yet another remote control to keep track of.
@Comrade Colette Collaboratrice
What has always worked for me is to ask in all innocence if what I’ve heard is true, that only Jehovah’s Witnesses get into heaven.
After being answered enthusiastically in the affirmative, follow it up with “I can think of absolutely nothing less heavenly than spending eternity surrounded by Jehovah’s Witnesses” or words to that effect (intensity of expression or substitution of vituperative wording dependent on mood).
Works like a dream; their jaws drop, they scamper away, crestfallen, and don’t make a return appearance
Or you could try the “Golly gee whiz, I don’t know. I’d have to consult with Sublime Lord Satan about that first” tack.
Sister Rail Gun of Warm Humanitarianism
I actually had some JW surround my car as we were trying to pull out of the driveway. They wanted to invite us to Easter services. They made the mistake of doing so by trying to tell me the Passion story. The woman seemed very surprised when I told her that I know what Easter is.
NotMax
@Sister Rail Gun of Warm Humanitarianism
“I’m kind of in a hurry, could you skip to the part about the bunny?”
:)
Sister Rail Gun of Warm Humanitarianism
In better news, we had a breakthrough today! Maysie and Max aren’t best friends yet, but there were face bumps instead of hisses when they confronted each other this afternoon!
Amir Khalid
Is it effective to loudly profess one’s adherence to the Church of The Flying Spaghetti Monster, or do the Jehovah’s Witnesses know that one?
(Fun fact: Michael Jackson and his family were — once — Jehovah’s Witnesses. I don’t know what the family are now, but I do know that Michael left as an adult, and Jermaine has been a Muslim for many years.)
Mnemosyne
@Amir Khalid:
White boys in that uniform are Mormons. Watch some YouTube footage of the musical “The Book of Mormon,” because the costume designers for that show got the look exactly right.
sukabi
@Mnemosyne: or you could answer the door, tell them you’re not interested and when they continue interrupt them to ask them where they live, so you can visit them without invitation at dinner time to sell them some crap they don’t want.
They don’t like that at all. And they always seem to bring their kids. Interesting to have to tell “adults” that you really don’t want to be as rude as they’re being in front of their kids. They don’t like that much either. ??
SectionH
@Amir Khalid: The guys in black trousers, white shirts and black ties are Mormons. At least they’re easy to spot. As to them infesting KL, who the hell thinks anybody harassing people in their own homes ANYWHERE is a good idea?
I can go one better. I was in a local park a few years ago. Went there daily to walk a couple of miles, feed the ducks, enjoy the trees – it was a valued sanity break at the point in my life when I was more stressed than ever, before or after. And one afternoon I was just sitting on a bench looking at the little lake, and not-quite-suddenly, cause it’s hard not to notice a couple of Mormon missionaries lurking in a park, one of these dudes sat down beside me on the bench. The other one stood in front of me, and they started in with their spiel. At which point, I… almost said Lost It, but I didn’t lose it at all. I did get veryvery angry and I proceeded to explain to them how incredibly appalling their behavior was, and what I was going to do about it. Calling the police and their local actual church honchos was just the first thing that came to mind. I also told them if I ever saw them in the park again, I’d call 911, and I’d warn all the people I regularly saw in the park about them. (Yeah, stay out of this park. LOL. But I was incandescent.)
Never saw them again. I should have followed up with the local,church, because their behavior was seriously wrong. I was a lone woman in a park, and there weren’t even other people esp. close-by. I actually was perfectly aware of being vulnerable. But the frosting was just having the my breathing time blown up like that. I just got so mad I didn’t care.
Alternative Fax, a hip hop artist from Idaho
@JPL: @Comrade Colette Collaboratrice: You can also tell them you’ve been disfellowshipped, I’ve heard that will send them fleeing, since the doctrine requires avoidance of such people.
Amir Khalid
@Alternative Fax, a hip hop artist from Idaho:
Is that like excommunicated?
NotMax
@Amir Khalid
Think Klingon.
;)
Anne Laurie
@Amir Khalid:
My guess would be Mormon (officially, LDS — Latter Day Saints). Here in the US, Mormon ‘missionaries’ on patrol always wear little engraved office-style name badges identifying themselves as ‘Elder’ So-and-So. (Some years ago, I got trapped in an elevator to the 60th floor with two gawky teens in full mission mode, and my disapproving-middle-aged lady glare made them retreat to the far corner without so much as a word exchanged by either side.)
The point of these ridiculous efforts, although the official literature doesn’t phrase it so bluntly, is less about actual conversion — though they’re always happy to claim another soul! It’s about simultaneously ‘leaving a footprint in the (global) sand’ as public proof of the organization’s wide spread, and locking the impressionable young missionaries into the LDS hierarchy for life. After all, if you give up two years of your life living in spartan circumstances among hostile strangers in a foreign land, and you’re publicly given a bunch of official credit for doing so, surely it proves that you are a righteous warrior of the Most True Faith!
Anne Laurie
@Amir Khalid: According to Teresa Nielsen Hayden (who grew up in the LDS), a member who’s disfellowshipped has their Official Membership Records moved to a bright red file folder. If the heretic recants and humbles themselves back into membership, they are told, they will be given a new file folder.
(The procedure may have been digitally upgraded since I first heard that story a quarter-century ago… or then again, maybe not!)
JAFD
@Anne Laurie: It’s also the case that after spending a couple of years wandering door-to-door in strange lands, little will faze you. Told once, a friend of mine who was running for local office in her town and trying to work up energy and fortitude for an afternoon canvassing, that if she had been a Mormon, she’d be used to that.
She was not amused.
Minor question; ‘Twas announcement on Mr. Cole’s Twitter of post
https://balloon-juice.com/2019/09/26/soooo-anything-interesting-going-on-today/
Didn’t see it on front page, got ‘Page not found’ when clicked on. What is the word on this ?