Late Night Open Thread: New Winner in the All-time ‘Worst 9/11 Take EVAR’ Sweeps


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And I, for one, sincerely hope this remains the worst take!






53 replies
  1. 1
    MoCA Ace says:

    I prefer handguns that aren’t buried under 110 stories of rubble by terrorists using nothing more manly than cox cutters. SAD.

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  2. 2
    Jeffro says:

    “If American patriots had been allowed to carry guns onto planes that day, ready to blast away at will, this nev…wait…okay, let’s do another take…”

    Ad infinitum. They will never learn, never change.

    ReplyReply
  3. 3
    NotMax says:

    So much for “all it takes is a good building with a gun.”

    ReplyReply
  4. 4
    Jay says:

    Posted a link to a twitter thread in one of the 9/11 threads of all the crazy the US bought lock, stock and barrel, after 9/11,

    Now can’t find it. sad.

    The US went bugnuts crazy, needs be documented.

    Freedom Fries.

    ReplyReply
  5. 5
    Amir Khalid says:

    @MoCA Ace:

    cox cutters

    Ouch.

    ReplyReply
  6. 6
    RepubAnon says:

    How do we know those weren’t the terrorists’ guns?

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  7. 7

    @MoCA Ace: The terrorists were mohels? Who knew?

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  8. 8
    Amir Khalid says:

    When someone speaks of firearms as hallowed, you have to conclude that they do indeed hallow firearms. In this case, above all else.

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  9. 9
    Steeplejack says:

    @Jay:
    Was this it?

    Post 9/11 thread for people to post the wildest shit they remember from 01 to 06.

    I'll start: People thought Osama had an entire mountain hollowed out that he was using as his base and that's why AQ was hard to find and that somehow a group of like 30 dudes arranged this. pic.twitter.com/IPGVQ1xfhs

    — mugrimm (@unabanned) September 11, 2019

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  10. 10
    NotMax says:

    @Amir Khalid

    Hear about the mohel who seezeed?

    Luckily he dealt only a glans-ing blow.

    ;)

    ReplyReply
  11. 11

    Jeez, I missed posts about pot and robots? I picked the wrong evening to read a book.

    ReplyReply
  12. 12
    mrmoshpotato says:

    @Jay: You keep the good, patriotic name of Freedom Fries out of your libtard mouth, or I’ll buy a bunch of champagne and French’s mustard to destroy!

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  13. 13
    mrmoshpotato says:

    @Major Major Major Major: https://youtu.be/i6l8MFdTaPE

    Whatcha doin’ reading?

    P.S. And robot pots!

    ReplyReply
  14. 14

    @mrmoshpotato: This Is How You Lose The Time War, it’s fantastic.

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  15. 15
    mrmoshpotato says:

    @Major Major Major Major: Interesting summary on my library’s website.

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  16. 16
    NotMax says:

    @Major Major Major Major

    You then might also like Time Was by Ian McDonald.

    ReplyReply
  17. 17
    JaySinWA says:

    @mrmoshpotato: Instant Pots, robot pots. Get in on the cult.
    ETA they will tax my Instant Pot from my cold dead pot roast.

    ReplyReply
  18. 18
    theturtlemoves says:

    We must learn more of these Hallowed Handguns. Brother Maynard! Fetch the Book of Armaments that we might read the story of how these guns were born unto a virgin in a manger.

    ReplyReply
  19. 19
    JaySinWA says:

    But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate — we can not consecrate — we can not hallow — these guns..

    ReplyReply
  20. 20
    🇺🇸🌎 Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) 🗳🌷 says:

    These two hallowed #handguns, found in the rubble of the 9/11 ruins, are a reminder that #freedom is not free.

    This reads like parody. WTF is it even supposed to mean? I don’t speak gunnutese

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  21. 21
    mrmoshpotato says:

    @🇺🇸🌎 Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) 🗳🌷:

    I don’t speak gunnutese

    https://youtu.be/i6l8MFdTaPE Pew pew, pew pew!

    ReplyReply
  22. 22
    Ruckus says:

    @Jeffro:
    They for sure aren’t trying to learn and they absolutely do not want to change.
    Because if they actually learned they would have to admit that their talisman is bullshit. And they would have to change. And that’s hard for a manly man or woman to do. Verging on impossible and trending on fucking improbable.

    ReplyReply
  23. 23
    Anne Laurie says:

    @🇺🇸🌎 Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) 🗳🌷:

    WTF is it even supposed to mean?

    That, faced with an event of enormous tragedy, the best the NRA’s official magazine can manage is to slap together a handful of ‘worship words’, and append them to a picture of ‘murdered’ handguns, because that’s the Most Very Tragic thing they can hold in their ruined little brains. Think of a low-rent horror movie where the priest, confronted by The Monster, starts yelling random Latin phrases because they’re too nonplussed to use the stake / cross / holy water they’re carrying.

    (Unless some intern in charge of the magazine’s twitter feed was exceptionally bored, and I think it’s too much to hope any 19-year-old that sophisticated would make it past the initial interviews… just out of self-protection.)

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  24. 24
    Ruckus says:

    @🇺🇸🌎 Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) 🗳🌷:
    Something along the line that those poor guns died for your sins. So you owe it to their relatives to take them in above all else and treat them with the respect that they deserve, rather than toss them unmercifully into a roaring conflagration. They died for your sin, that of not purchasing others and protecting them with your life.

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  25. 25
    PsiFighter37 says:

    Up at nearly 3AM because the baby absolutely refuses to sleep with any regularity today. She got in only one good session (8-11AM) and has been driving me and my wife absolutely nuts since 2AM yesterday. Talk about an easy way to convince us to not have that second kid we were planning on down the road…and it’s only been 9 days to boot…

    ReplyReply
  26. 26
    Anne Laurie says:

    @PsiFighter37: I’m told it gets better… or at least you’ll get used to your New Normal.

    Seriously — you & your wife both have my sincerest sympathies. I have triplet siblings who are nine years younger, and growing up with them left me convinced I would *never* be a good parent.

    ReplyReply
  27. 27
    PsiFighter37 says:

    @Anne Laurie: That is what everyone says. I’m inclined to think they’re full of shit or simply hire people to deal with their kids.

    Right now, I have the baby sleeping in the stroller we have because she has always found it comfortable. I’m not 100% sure it’s the right thing to do, but it is literally the only time the baby has slept constantly (right now, it is 40 minutes and counting) since 11AM.

    I feel worse for my wife, who has had to not only deal with this but be the main food provider, so I get the graveyard shift tonight. Hurray…!

    ReplyReply
  28. 28
    Bruuuuce says:

    @Anne Laurie: You say “worship words”, and this is the first thing I think of. Which, on reflection, is approximately what the ammosexuals have done with the Constitution.

    ReplyReply
  29. 29
    JWR says:

    While cat-sitting for a neighbor, and just days after the event, (eta 9/11), I caught a bit of CNN (I think) and The Mustache of Understanding was opining about how “those people” just hate us and there’s nothing we can do about it! Meanwhile, juxtaposed on the big screen behind him, one of those “Daisy Cutter” bombs ripped off the side of a mountain. And yet “those people” just hate us and we can’t figure out why! That dreadful scene has never left me.

    ReplyReply
  30. 30
    Tony Jay says:

    @🇺🇸🌎 Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) 🗳🌷:

    What does it mean? What does it MEAN?!? What it means, Libtard, is that I am busy here trying to forge a profitable memetic connection in the minds of gullible non-customers between the murder of thousands of innocent people and gun-ownership and… wait… no… that’s not…. between… between the unburied human victims of Sept 11th and the corpses of these poor guns… no… shit… stop confusing me… that’s not what…. uh…. oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, America Fuck Yeah = Moah Gunz!!! That’s it. Get it now, snowflake? Stop disrespecting Our Dead.

    ReplyReply
  31. 31
    BlueDWarrior says:

    The Gun Cult is the best argument to normal people that guns should only be in the hands of officers of the state or on a shooting range.

    ReplyReply
  32. 32
    OzarkHillbilly says:

    @RepubAnon: Because the planes they were flying were gun free zones. Than again, so is NYC.

    ReplyReply
  33. 33
    rikyrah says:

    @PsiFighter37:

    Sorry that she is up😞😞

    ReplyReply
  34. 34
    OzarkHillbilly says:

    @theturtlemoves: touche.

    ReplyReply
  35. 35
    RAVEN says:

    I had a grout flareup in my big toe. I used the online telemedicine option on my insurance and it cost me $15. The prednisone she prescribed knocked it down but, damn, sleep is a bitch.

    ReplyReply
  36. 36
    OzarkHillbilly says:

    @PsiFighter37: It does get better. I was a colicy baby and look how I turned out. On 2nd thought….

    ReplyReply
  37. 37
  38. 38
    Anne Laurie says:

    @Bruuuuce: Yup. OG Trekkie from the days when that was a slur, me!

    ReplyReply
  39. 39
    Anne Laurie says:

    @RAVEN: I hope you meant “gout”… or else I’m really feeling sorry for you…

    ReplyReply
  40. 40
    Chris Johnson says:

    I think it’s a security blanket. It’s a matter of personal power in a time when the individual human being has no power, is increasingly disposable, and more or less is expected to just crawl off and die if they’re inconvenient to whatever large capital entity wants ’em gone.

    A gun in the hand (a hand gun!) means that individual instantly has the power of a judge, jury and executioner. Imagine looking at someone like David Koch (the dead one, natch) and thinking, in my belief system I am empowered to execute you for the countless crimes you’re responsible for. You go from the helpless victim crushed beneath giant unaccountable wheels, to becoming someone who can murder anybody you think shouldn’t live. That’s a very big change in personal power (I’d point out that’s just as much unaccountable power, but that’s sort of the point).

    It’s an equalizer, in a time of horrific inequality. In a recent podcast Mark Blyth pointed out a lot of mass shooters have this in common: they just got fired from their job. It’s personal power in a way that’s not really addressed by welfare scenarios like Basic Income. I’ve lived on Disability before and know what it’s like to be subject to that deep powerlessness that the thing keeping you alive is even less accountable to your wellbeing than if it’s a private job.

    It’s worth keeping an eye on the way in which we disarm the populace since that’s bound to happen: we’re ridiculous outliers and individuals really shouldn’t have nuclear weapons or assault rifles or, perhaps, any sort of gun at all, ever.

    The question is, in so doing, are you intentionally making human beings totally helpless and subject to the worst an unaccountable industry/government could do to them? Do you assume people have still got personal power and individual rights, and how do you convincingly communicate and enforce this when industry/government might well prefer to round up certain sorts of people in camps and just make them conveniently die?

    ReplyReply
  41. 41
    raven says:

    @Anne Laurie: That’s funny! My wife has a tendency to mispronounce things and she called it grout the other day!

    ReplyReply
  42. 42
    BellyCat says:

    @Chris Johnson: That’s one of the better explanations for Gun Nutism that I’ve heard. Truly alarming, though.

    Curiously, the more that social support institutions are rendered ineffective, the higher the impulse among the disenfranchised to cling to guns.

    Not sure how any of this resolves easily or beneficially.

    ReplyReply
  43. 43
    Ohio Mom says:

    @PsiFighter37: If the baby likes to sleep in the stroller, it is the right place for her to sleep.

    ReplyReply
  44. 44
    satby says:

    @Ohio Mom: it’s also a clue that she’s uncomfortable lying down, which could mean colicky. But at only 9 days old, she still seems way too young to expect some sort of schedule.

    ReplyReply
  45. 45
    Matt McIrvin says:

    Remember, to the US right, the purpose and meaning of 9/11 is that it consecrates all of their notions and emblems and makes them holy. That’s why we got miracle 9/11 crosses made of standing beams, soldiers and cops made morally unassailable by the aura of 9/11, etc. 9/11 means they win, beyond logic and sense. So why not with guns? These guns are holy guns now; that they were at 9/11 means they’re right forever.

    ReplyReply
  46. 46
    Betty says:

    @Chris Johnson: To me, this is why Warren’s message resonates. She talks constantly about taking back some of that power for regular folks. Not sure if it can be done, but it seems like it’s worth fighting for.

    ReplyReply
  47. 47
    TomatoQueen says:

    @PsiFighter37: When your baby is awake, what is she doing–is she looking around/staring into space, screaming with or without tears, making burbly noises? I’d suggest keeping a calendar but you’re too tired and your wife is exhausted, still it might help the pediatrician help you figure things out, if there’s any kind of pattern to it. And definitely, baby sleeps where she sleeps, they are remarkably cat-like in this way, and in other things too. Thinking of you–this is a special kind of hell and I hope it passes soon.

    ReplyReply
  48. 48
    Chris Johnson says:

    @BellyCat:

    Curiously, the more that social support institutions are rendered ineffective, the higher the impulse among the disenfranchised to cling to guns.

    Yup… that’s pretty much what I said. Rather than being surprising, the one produces the other. The more people are desperate and in no control of their destinies, the harder they will cling to that ‘loophole’ which says that yeah… but they can Dirty Harry it up, and murder anybody they want. So being otherwise worthless and powerless is okay, right?

    Toxic, so very toxic, but it’s not being driven primarily by desire to murder people and Dirty Harry all day long in an unmotivated way. (complete madmen aside). It’s people who have no faith that any other type of personal power is even possible. Total helplessness… except you can pick somebody and randomly murder them, to make up for all the other ways you’re worthless. So very not good, and extremely ugly that people are put into that position of ‘the only thing you can do to make THEM take notice is murder people, here is your gun. Please don’t murder people’ (wink, wink goes the Russian-funded NRA)

    ReplyReply
  49. 49
    Chris Johnson says:

    @Betty:

    To me, this is why Warren’s message resonates. She talks constantly about taking back some of that power for regular folks. Not sure if it can be done, but it seems like it’s worth fighting for.

    It’s actually not as difficult as it sounds because ANY power for regular folks would count as ‘more power’. If you’ve got a strong stomach check out Naomi Klein’s ‘The Shock Doctrine’: I am so horribly cynical that Balloon Juice often gets really angry with me, but I find that book depressing and disturbing. But that’s exactly the point: regular people have unusually little power right now compared with a lot of large institutions, not only the government but business and property owners, and people do basically understand that if it’s more profitable to do so, they can be stripped of pretty much anything they have with no recourse. The powerful and rich control all justice, all systems: they fill up schools by buying their way in, they put rampant pedophiles in the MIT Media Lab, in the White House, put complete assholes on the Supreme Court, and get away with it.

    People do understand this. Another reason so many don’t vote is because they’re pretty sure it’s a lie and the desired outcome will just get cheated into position.

    I don’t feel this is normal. And it’s hugely pervasive, it’s been that way for lifetimes. (for younger folks: I think I was alive in a slightly different time)

    ReplyReply
  50. 50
    Ruckus says:

    @Chris Johnson:

    I don’t feel this is normal. And it’s hugely pervasive, it’s been that way for lifetimes. (for younger folks: I think I was alive in a slightly different time)

    That is basically your point though, this is normal. It has been for a very, very long time. The reasons have changed but that power is gathered at the top, whatever/whomever top is having changed but not that location of power. An example is guns today. Who spends money on them that don’t really have the money? Who uses guns but someone who wants power and has no legitimate way to get any? trump and his father before him used the power of housing to have power, they could raise the rent, kick you out, or make life so miserable that you’d leave and thereby raise the rent. Slumlords. Evangelicals are not any different, giving you GOD so that you’d give them money for nothing. trump then and now uses racism to sell to people for power. It’s given him the presidency, actual power.
    We don’t have power, some of us have some things but power? What power we have is in the ballot box, but even that has been taken away by a few. All for money and well the same thing, power.
    It has always been this way, only the scale is different.

    ReplyReply
  51. 51
    Darrin Ziliak (formerly glocksman) says:

    While a Smith 5946 and a Smith Centennial recovered from the 9/11 wreckage may be of historical interest*, I would hardly call them ‘hallowed firearms’.
    Then again, while I am somewhat of a firearms enthusiast I don’t worship at the Temple of the Gun.

    The NRA has fallen into the trap of believing their own bullshit.

    *Mainly to the NYPD, whose officers those guns probably belonged to.

    ReplyReply
  52. 52
    Darrin Ziliak (formerly glocksman) says:

    @Darrin Ziliak (formerly glocksman):

    I just read the linked American Rifleman article in the tweet.
    I guessed right and those guns were NYPD officer firearms.

    Even then, they’re hardly ‘hallowed firearms’.

    ReplyReply
  53. 53
    JAFD says:

    @RAVEN: My heartfelt sympathy

    @NotMax: That’s the worst joke I’ve heard in 2019

    ReplyReply

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