How To Ruin A Turkey Sandwich/More Respite Open Thread

So, this image showed up in my messages:

 

I’m just hoping this isn’t a Betty Cracker creation already featured here that in my semester-starting-addled brain I somehow forgot.

Anyway: here’s a chance to talk about anything to do w. abuse of or abusive foodstuffs — or anything else that whets your appetite.






109 replies
  1. 1
    trollhattan says:

    Brill!

    And I don’t care how many defenders its harvested recently, the only proper use of American cheese to date.

    ReplyReply
  2. 2
    rikyrah says:

    BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

    ReplyReply
  3. 3
    AliceBlue says:

    Well, this is going to haunt my dreams.

    ReplyReply
  4. 4

    “Cold Turkey, has got me, on the run…”

    ReplyReply
  5. 5
    Jay Thurber says:

    That’s turkey? Looks like a pile of baloney to me.

    ReplyReply
  6. 6
    Elizabelle says:

    Well there’s a way to raise Trump’s IQ (and EQ). Head made of cold cuts.

    ReplyReply
  7. 7
    Yutsano says:

    Gee thanks Perfesser. Right as I’m eating lunch.

    (Which is not a ham sandwich, so carry on.)

    ReplyReply
  8. 8
    Yutsano says:

    I r modererated for borked e-mail. Please to fix?

    ReplyReply
  9. 9
    Keith P. says:

    Fight to the death with Ham Rove.

    ReplyReply
  10. 10
  11. 11
    Yutsano says:

    @Yutsano: Wait never mind it’s gone now. Sigh.

    ReplyReply
  12. 12
    Elizabelle says:

    How To Ruin A Turkey Sandwich More Respite Open Thread

    WRT the title of this blogpost: I was thinking “oh no, what happened to Cole as he was fixing a turkey sandwich? What has he done now?” I was imagining blood.

    ReplyReply
  13. 13
    The Moar You Know says:

    Odd how the color of the foodstuffs is so true to Cheetolini’s actual hue.

    ReplyReply
  14. 14
    Jamey says:

    Tom DeLay: “You can indict a ham sandwich.”

    ReplyReply
  15. 15
    Elizabelle says:

    @🐾BillinGlendaleCA: I love that. The Korean-American Friendship bell, in San Pedro. You got a better photograph than I ever have.

    Love that whole area along the coast, and the Palos Verde peninsula.

    ReplyReply
  16. 16
    SFAW says:

    Don’t know if this has already been picked up here, but:

    TPM is reporting that Wilbur “Vying for the ‘Evilest Motherfucker in the Maladminstration’ Title” Ross apparently threatened to fire a bunch of NOAA staff if they did not issue a statement retracting/contradicting their earlier contradiction of Dear Leader’s Sharpie adventure. Some might interpret that as him demanding that they commit a Federal crime — or else!

    ReplyReply
  17. 17
    SFAW says:

    @Elizabelle:

    I was thinking “oh no, what happened to Cole as he was fixing a turkey sandwich? What has he done now?”

    Here’s a hint: we’ll have to call him “Lefty” from now on.

    ReplyReply
  18. 18
    prostratedragon says:

    @🐾BillinGlendaleCA: Thanks so much, though I think I’ll need to enjoy the whole page of your lovely photos to get that sandwich out of my head.

    I will admit it’s (the sandwich) impressive in a way, but whoever did it probably should move on to other things for a while.

    ReplyReply
  19. 19
    Yarrow says:

    Yuck. Turned my stomach.

    ReplyReply
  20. 20
  21. 21
    JPL says:

    @🐾BillinGlendaleCA: well drat.. It’s says page not found

    ReplyReply
  22. 22
  23. 23

    @Elizabelle: Yup, framing could be a tad bit better.

    @prostratedragon: Just click on the photostream link at the top left, there’s pages and pages(37 or 38) of my pics.

    ReplyReply
  24. 24
    raven says:

    @🐾BillinGlendaleCA: Live peace in Toronto. . .

    ReplyReply
  25. 25

    @JPL: I updated the pic and link. And re-updated the link, it works now.

    ReplyReply
  26. 26
    Elizabelle says:

    @SFAW: LOL.

    ReplyReply
  27. 27
    RedDirtGirl says:

    @🐾BillinGlendaleCA: Strange, but I’m getting an error message, and no photo.

    ReplyReply
  28. 28

    @raven: Yup, that’s the live version.

    ReplyReply
  29. 29
    Litlebritdifrnt says:

    Well it would appear that our Hotel in Carlisle might have had bedbugs because I am covered in tiny bites. On my hands, arms and legs. Didn’t notice them while at the hotel but the bites have now got fever blisters so I am noticing them. Damn!

    ReplyReply
  30. 30
    Mike in NC says:

    @SFAW: I got a Facebook link that showed a picture of Fat Bastard redrawing the Russian border westward with a Sharpie to include the Crimea and about half of Ukraine. (That’ll be next week.)

    ReplyReply
  31. 31

    @RedDirtGirl: Checked the new link again, works now.

    ReplyReply
  32. 32
    joel hanes says:

    @Litlebritdifrnt:

    If they’re not itching intensely, they’re probably not bedbug bites.

    ReplyReply
  33. 33
    jl says:

    @🐾BillinGlendaleCA: Thanks. Very nice pix.

    ReplyReply
  34. 34
  35. 35
    trollhattan says:

    Chrissy Teigen is apparently twitterfighting with Trump and has coined #PresidentP***yAssBitch, which if it catches on is another thing to thank Chrissy Teigen for.

    He just can’t help himself.

    ReplyReply
  36. 36
    JPL says:

    @SFAW: We are so f..ked with this guy in office. We’ll be lucky if NOAA survives the assault.

    ReplyReply
  37. 37
    trollhattan says:

    @Litlebritdifrnt:
    Yikes!

    Where is Carlisle so I can avoid it?

    ReplyReply
  38. 38
    Mart says:

    About an hour ago Cheetolini was giving another helicopter presser where he said the incompetent Obama handed him the gift of 138 federal judges and a SC judge. He bragged he already has two SC judges and will have over 200 federal judges this term. The blood, it boils.

    ReplyReply
  39. 39
    Yarrow says:

    @Litlebritdifrnt: @joel hanes: This is true–bedbug bites itch a lot.

    ReplyReply
  40. 40
  41. 41
    JPL says:

    @🐾BillinGlendaleCA: It was worth the wait.

    ReplyReply
  42. 42
    Yarrow says:

    @zhena gogolia: Guess he got tired of her throwing cans of food at him.

    ReplyReply
  43. 43

    @trollhattan: This will not end well for Trump.

    ReplyReply
  44. 44

    @jl: Thanks, went on a shoot with the group last night.

    @JPL: Heh, much better than “Cold Turkey”.

    ReplyReply
  45. 45
  46. 46
    mrmoshpotato says:

    @zhena gogolia: Gutted with joy?

    ReplyReply
  47. 47
    wasabi gasp says:

    That’s turkey!?

    I’ll stick with my paste.

    ReplyReply
  48. 48
    JPL says:

    Red Girl.. I’m just posting the link because it’s that good
    https://www.adweek.com/creativity/the-story-of-the-brilliant-incendiary-trump-ad-that-has-cannes-buzzing/

    Must see AD of trump

    ReplyReply
  49. 49
    Litlebritdifrnt says:

    @joel hanes: They are that is why I am noticing them.

    ReplyReply
  50. 50
    JPL says:

    @RedDirtGirl: I tried to hit the reply button but I didn’t see it because it was on the left hand side. Thanks so much for the laugh.

    ReplyReply
  51. 51
    germy says:

    olive oil is going to get expensive.

    I'm a soapmaker. He's about to radicalize thousands of cottage crafters who make a living off the soap we make in our kitchens and garage workshops. No soap without oil, and olive oil is our backbone.— Belinda McBride 🌊 (@Belinda_McBride) September 9, 2019

    ReplyReply
  52. 52
    rikyrah says:

    @Mart:

    He bragged he already has two SC judges and will have over 200 federal judges this term. The blood, it boils.

    grrrrrrrrrrrr

    ReplyReply
  53. 53
    germy says:

    The Trump admin has proposed a tariff of up to 100% on $25 billion in European items. Romano, Parmesan, provolone and Gouda are all on the list. But it's not just cheese — other items to be affected include wines, meats, olive oil, olives & pasta.https://t.co/G9WOIKWX5G— Julia Davis (@JuliaDavisNews) September 8, 2019

    ReplyReply
  54. 54
    Yarrow says:

    @Litlebritdifrnt: If it is bedbugs you may have a lot of work ahead of you. They can come home with you in suitcases and other bags. Did you do anything else that would have given you bites? Leave the windows open? Midges still around?

    ReplyReply
  55. 55
    Litlebritdifrnt says:

    @trollhattan: Very North West of England, just before you get to Scotland. (Hadrians Wall)

    ReplyReply
  56. 56
    JPL says:

    @germy: I might go shopping this weekend for cheeses and pasta. I’ve had good luck freezing cheese.
    Do you know if he is going after the Marzano tomatoes?

    ReplyReply
  57. 57
    TenguPhule says:

    @SFAW:

    Here’s a hint: we’ll have to call him “Lefty” from now on.

    Not Stumpy?

    ReplyReply
  58. 58
    zhena gogolia says:

    @germy:

    OMG, this is exactly what Putin did to Russia at one point. You couldn’t get any decent cheese for love or money.

    ReplyReply
  59. 59
    TenguPhule says:

    @germy:

    The Trump admin has proposed a tariff of up to 100% on $25 billion in European items. Romano, Parmesan, provolone and Gouda are all on the list. But it’s not just cheese — other items to be affected include wines, meats, olive oil, olives & pasta

    Trump is determined to make the rest of us live on the same diet he does.

    ReplyReply
  60. 60
    TenguPhule says:

    @germy:

    I’m a soapmaker. He’s about to radicalize thousands of cottage crafters who make a living off the soap we make in our kitchens and garage workshops. No soap without oil, and olive oil is our backbone

    They’ll have to switch to good old American pork fat.

    ReplyReply
  61. 61
    germy says:

    @JPL: Marzano tomatoes? The NYT is reporting Italy’s economy will take a hit, so maybe everything will get more expensive.

    ReplyReply
  62. 62
    Litlebritdifrnt says:

    @Yarrow: I initially thought that the bites were from ants as I brushed past a plant with them on (they are farming the aphids and I hate to get rid of the plant) as I went outside to hang out my washing when we got home. However, it would appear that I have way too many bites to be the work of a single ant (or maybe two) in so many diverse places that it doesn’t make sense.

    ReplyReply
  63. 63
    Raven says:

    @Litlebritdifrnt: Chiggers.

    ReplyReply
  64. 64
    mrmoshpotato says:

    @rikyrah: ITTFMT – Impeach the Turtle-faced Motherfucker Too

    ReplyReply
  65. 65
    NCSteve says:

    I just flashed on the “This is that good processed turkey!” line from “The Rainmaker.”

    ReplyReply
  66. 66
    Matt McIrvin says:

    @Litlebritdifrnt: are the bites lined up in rows of three? Bedbugs do that. Breakfast, lunch and dinner.

    ReplyReply
  67. 67
    Martin says:

    @germy: Most imported olive oils are fake anyway.

    That said, that 72lb wheel of parmesan from Costco might be a better investment than gold right now.

    ReplyReply
  68. 68
    Elizabelle says:

    @germy: Cool. Soap Crafters Against Tariffing Trump. Can be SCAT Trump. Satby can help organize them.

    Bring it on. I suspect the soap crafters are a lot brighter than the still Trump-humping farmers (not every farmer, I realize, but too many).

    ReplyReply
  69. 69
    trollhattan says:

    @Litlebritdifrnt:
    Okay, think I’m safe. :-)

    We have a very different climate and I have no idea what you’ve encountered. We don’t lack for things that bite, to be sure. Got a boatload on my feet a couple months ago and they took weeks to heal (two of which the itch persisted). I’m going with fleas, as I usually wander around in flip-flops, but there’s no way to tell.

    ReplyReply
  70. 70
    Martin says:

    @JPL: Those too are usually fake.

    ReplyReply
  71. 71
    Barbara says:

    @trollhattan: If you were wandering around in high grass or brush it could be chiggers.

    ReplyReply
  72. 72
    catclub says:

    @Elizabelle:

    I suspect the soap crafters are a lot brighter than the still Trump-humping farmers.

    Depends if intelligence is rated by how effectively they get on the government dole.

    ReplyReply
  73. 73
    Litlebritdifrnt says:

    @Matt McIrvin: Yup exactly! You nailed it.

    ReplyReply
  74. 74
    Anonymous At Work says:

    @Elizabelle: I was under the impression that it was impossible to ruin a turkey sandwich…because you can’t go downhill from “turkey sandwich”.

    ReplyReply
  75. 75
    Gelfling 545 says:

    @zhena gogolia: I’m shocked they seemed like a match made in, well, wherever such matches are made.

    ReplyReply
  76. 76
    CindyH says:

    I think that’s a “baloney” sandwich

    ReplyReply
  77. 77
    JPL says:

    Tom If you want a more impressive picture of trump, look at RedDirtGirl’s comment @31 The link didn’t work so I posted a naked link at 45

    ReplyReply
  78. 78
    Yarrow says:

    @Martin: I’ve read that California has the strictest quality control on olive oil. If it’s California olive oil you’re actually getting olive oil.

    ReplyReply
  79. 79
    TenguPhule says:

    Cake or Death
    @Johngcole
    Replying to @Johngcole
    Nurse: “You did a really good job with this bandage.”

    Me: “I’ve had some practice.”

    /snort, choke, muffled guffaw

    ReplyReply
  80. 80
    Raven says:

    I’m sending a special thanks to Immanentize for some wonderful fishing tackle and a “Kiss My Ass” card for my retirement!

    ReplyReply
  81. 81
    TenguPhule says:

    @Elizabelle:

    . Can be SCAT Trump.

    The associated image has made me go temporarily blind.

    ReplyReply
  82. 82
    TenguPhule says:

    @Anonymous At Work:

    I was under the impression that it was impossible to ruin a turkey sandwich…because you can’t go downhill from “turkey sandwich”.

    Bologna sandwich on white with mayo.

    ReplyReply
  83. 83
    Mnemosyne says:

    @trollhattan:

    Here in the Southland, they’ve been warning us about a new invasive species of mosquitoes that carries West Nile and dengue fever. They call them “ankle-biters” because they usually attack the lower limbs, and they’re unusual because they bite during the day.

    ReplyReply
  84. 84
    Martin says:

    @Yarrow: Correct. But has others have noted, the price of CA olive oil will go up similarly because of demand, and it takes a while to plant new olive trees…

    ReplyReply
  85. 85
    TenguPhule says:

    @JPL:

    We’ll be lucky if NOAA survives the assault.

    Narrator: “We were not lucky”

    ReplyReply
  86. 86
    SFAW says:

    @JPL:

    We’ll be lucky if NOAA survives the assault.

    Well, those staffers would have survived — if they hadn’t been in Huntsville when it got flooded by Dorian. They couldn’t escape when that wall of water hit, and they drownded.

    ReplyReply
  87. 87
    prostratedragon says:

    @🐾BillinGlendaleCA: Thanks, have done (and enable flickr.com and staticflickr.com; heaven help me, I’m fussy like that). Lovely.

    ReplyReply
  88. 88
    trollhattan says:

    @Mnemosyne:
    We’re basically the West Nile nexus here and one of our gazillion mosquito breeds carries it. Don’t know about dengue, probably don’t want to either!

    West Nile is tricky to track because a good many infected remain asymptomatic, some get flu-like symptoms and then some are hospitalized and die. They monitor mosquito traps for it, also collect and analyze dead birds (corvids and raptors are vectors).

    I wish we put a massive tariff on imported communicable diseases.

    ReplyReply
  89. 89
    Steve in the ATL says:

    @germy: any news on Nutella?

    ReplyReply
  90. 90
    JPL says:

    @Martin: San Marzano aren’t are they? The label says Italy.

    ReplyReply
  91. 91

    @germy:

    olive oil is going to get expensive.

    I try to buy American- there are several olive farms that sell oil at my local farmer’s market- but it’s not as if domestic production can fill the gap quickly. Olive trees take 5-8 years to produce a commercial crop, so this will just raise prices without doing much to spur domestic production. Instead, it will encourage us to purchase from Morocco, Tunisia, and other olive-producing countries outside Europe.

    ReplyReply
  92. 92
    trollhattan says:

    @Barbara:
    My Iowa granny would get those things and wow, are they ever miserable! (shudder)

    ReplyReply
  93. 93
  94. 94
    Yutsano says:

    @Roger Moore: I happen to have a bottle of Tunisian olive oil right now. Can tell you it’s quite good.

    ReplyReply
  95. 95
    J R in WV says:

    Perhaps a law suit against Fat Don to recoup expenses due to illegal “National Security” tariffs against our oldest allies. Doesn’t make any sense. Why Italy? What a chunk of pig fat for brains!

    ReplyReply
  96. 96
    RedDirtGirl says:

    @JPL: Thank you. Not sure why I always have such a hard time with the linky-links!

    ReplyReply
  97. 97
    JPL says:

    @Yutsano: I’ve purchased Spanish Olive Oil before and it was quite good but expensive. Maybe if he is targeting just Italy, I’ll go back to that.

    ReplyReply
  98. 98
    JPL says:

    @Martin: Before Whole Foods purchased the local farmer’s market, they had different bottles of olive oil out to taste. I can’t remember the name, about fifteen/twenty years ago I purchased one from Italy. It was in a rectangular bottle and was priced over twenty dollars. When I checked out, the person at the register asked for my ID. It did look more like whiskey but the store only had a beer and wine license
    Whole Foods sells a line under the 365 brand that is processed in European Countries, including Italy.

    ReplyReply
  99. 99
    laura says:

    @trollhattan: And if she wants to print up and sell foul mouthed wife tee shirts – to raise money for Bahamian disaster relief, id buy at least one!
    President ham head doesn’t look any less skeezy in processed Turkey slice than he does in ham.

    ReplyReply
  100. 100

    @Yarrow:
    The California Department of Food and Agriculture seems to be very well run. They have strict standards, and they seem to understand that the farmers do better in the long run when they enforce those standards rather than allowing a race to the bottom. An example of this is the California Certified Farmers Market program. Not all farmers markets are part of CCFM, but the ones that are require the farmers to grow everything they sell on their own farms; they can’t buy from a neighbor’s farm and sell it at their booth. Once in a while, one of the farmers I buy from will disappear from the market for a while, and it always turns out that this was because they got caught selling somebody else’s produce and were forced to stop selling for 6 months. Knowing those rules are strictly enforced gives me some confidence that they’re enforcing the rest of the rules, too.

    ReplyReply
  101. 101
    Kathleen says:

    The official portrait of our Commander in Cheese.

    ReplyReply
  102. 102
    laura says:

    @Raven: Serious congratulations for your 1/2 century of toil following service! The very thought of retirement is so enviable and just begs for speculation. Decades of work makes it easy to think about work, but how not to work . . . That’s got to be so wierd at first, and then settling in to a whole new routine. How satisfying.
    Have you captured the emotional support yellow fin tuna yet, or is the trip still pending?

    ReplyReply
  103. 103
    trollhattan says:

    @Roger Moore:
    Lots of olive acreage in the north Sacramento Valley and some of it is processed for oil, most is still fruit.

    But it’s been interesting to learn that a lot of olive trees are just there as landscaping and not used for anything, but now quite a few folks are harvesting and pressing oil because there are mobile olive presses that can come on site and handle it. In particular, a lot of wineries have olive trees and now sell their own oil in the tasting room.

    The differences among them (flavor, color, fragrance) is astonishing. I truly had no idea.

    ReplyReply
  104. 104

    @trollhattan:
    My alma mater had a lot of olive trees that were just used for landscaping. Then the school hired a Frenchman as president, and he decided there needed to be an olive harvest festival on campus to take advantage of the bounty. It was fun, but a day of work by a whole gang of students and alumni produced a relatively paltry amount of oil for the effort involved, and while it was technically classified as extra virgin it still wasn’t anything special. After doing this a couple of times, everyone decided it wasn’t worth the effort, and they went back to spraying the trees to keep them from fruiting, since unharvested olives are a PITA.

    Basically, olive trees used for landscaping are nice, but there’s a reason farmers plant their trees in carefully laid out orchards. The effort involved in going around and harvesting a bunch of scattered trees makes trying to get a crop from landscape and back yard trees economically uncompetitive. It still makes sense for somebody who owns a tree to try to harvest it as a hobby, but it’s only able to compete with big farmers by pretending that the land, water, and labor are free.

    ReplyReply
  105. 105
    Ohio Mom says:

    @Litlebritdifrnt: Are there chiggers in your part of the world? They are here in Ohio but just five hours north in Michigan, my sister has never heard of them (the winters are too long and cold for them). We certainly didn’t have them growing up in the Bronx.

    Yuck on the bedbugs. A good friend of mine had them a couple of years ago —she is a social worker and thinks they got into her house via her purse, stored in her office on the floor, not far from where her clients sit. She never said anything more specific than that but I’m guessing she knows which client that was — no doubt the one who came in one week with a story about bedbugs.

    It is a hassle and expense to get rid of them but it is doable.

    Can I assume from this story that your husband made it over to you? Whew, sigh of relief, Hooray and Congrats!

    ReplyReply
  106. 106
    JAFD says:

    Also Portugese olive oils (Live near Newark’s ‘Ironbound’ – capital of Lusophone North America) Check
    seabrafoods.com or
    seabrasmarket.com
    for week’s deals

    (Pronounced ‘see-ah-bruhs’)
    (For those few jackals who haven’t heard it…
    “Why did The Little Mermaid wear sea shells ?
    Because ‘B’ shells were too small for her’ and ‘D’ shells were too big.”)

    ReplyReply
  107. 107
    Amir Khalid says:

    @JAFD:
    It’s only Ariel, Disney’s Little Mermaid, who wears a seashell bra at all. The Hans Christian Andersen character is traditionally depicted topless, as in the statue of her in Copenhagen harbour.

    ReplyReply
  108. 108
    Ruckus says:

    @Anonymous At Work:
    Have no personal knowledge but have been told that the American cheese on dry white bread lunch sandwich at the LA County Jail is just a tad worse than any turkey sandwich. He said it smelled like feet and didn’t taste as good. And he had tasted them on more than one occasion.

    ReplyReply
  109. 109
    Ruckus says:

    @laura:
    I’m just a touch older than his royal majesty – recently retired raven, and can say pretty truthfully I doubt I’ll have any trouble figuring out how to spend my retired days, if ever get to actually retire. I started working, paying taxes 57 yrs ago, I’m past ready.

    ReplyReply

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