I don’t think this is allowed even with a valid Florida Concealed Weapons License!
Officials say a Florida woman who pulled a small alligator from her yoga pants during a traffic stop and illegally possessed numerous other wild animals was sentenced to probation after pleading guilty to four charges. https://t.co/wMGJH4Is0k #odd
— AP Oddities (@AP_Oddities) August 15, 2019
Take it away WNDU!
PUNTA GORDA, Fla. (AP) – Officials say a Florida woman who pulled a small alligator from her yoga pants during a traffic stop and illegally possessed numerous other wild animals has been sentenced to probation after pleading guilty to four charges.
Florida prosecutors say a Charlotte County sheriff’s deputy stopped a pickup truck in May after it ran a stop sign. The driver, 22-year-old driver Michael Clemons, told the deputy he and his 25-year-old passenger, Ariel Machan-Le Quire, were collecting frogs and snakes under an overpass. He gave the deputy permission to search bags in the truck.
When the deputy found 41 3-stripe turtles in a “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle” backpack, he asked if Machan-Le Quire had anything else. She pulled the 1-foot gator from her pants.
Officials say the Clemons case is pending.
I hope she was at least using a holster!
Open thread!
Kristine
I grew up in the Port Charlotte/Punta Gorda area. Good to see that area of the state contribute its share of crazy.
rikyrah
I really can’t get past the alligator in yoga pants ??
debbie
I wonder if cops ask to be transferred to Florida, just for the fun of the experience.
dmsilev
According to the NRAA, the National Rifled Alligator Association, concealed alligator carry is a sacred constitutional right.
Omnes Omnibus
Why does she need 41 turtles? I’m stuck on that one. My WTF meter is already pegged, so the gator in the yoga pants is no big deal.
HalfAssedHomesteader
who pulled a small alligator from her yoga pants
Is this some kind of euphemism I don’t want to know about?
Yutsano
@debbie: I know one of the sheriffs in Orange county. He has definitely had some crazy tales to tell!
John Revolta
Pffftt. Amateurs. She should’ve just said, “No, I don’t have anything else”. Then, if they found the alligator in her yoga pants, she should’ve just said “I forgot he was in there”.
Is she REALLY from Florida?
Steeplejack
@Omnes Omnibus:
Yeah, the 41 turtles are a tipoff that this is something more than just wacky Floriduhns. Probably looking to sell them to pet stores. I wish these cases would get some fines, or something worse than a “ha-ha” squib in the paper. They’re looting the environment.
NotMax
Do NOT want to know where on (or in) their person he or she was concealing a manatee.
:)
sdhays
@dmsilev: Honestly, I am 100% behind defining the right to bear arms keeping an alligator in your pants, yoga or otherwise.
It would focus the risk where it belongs, that’s for sure.
debbie
@Yutsano:
A cop from around here self-published a book of his memorable moments after he retired. These books might make for better fund-raising than calendars.
Steeplejack
@HalfAssedHomesteader:
“I got yer small gator right here!”
Okay, that line needs some work.
Duane
@Omnes Omnibus: the Mutant Ninja Turtles backpack has me wondering if that’s some Florida voodoo thing to create her own super- turtle team.
different-church-lady
“Is that an alligator in your yoga pants or are you just pleased to see me?”
NotMax
@sdhays
We fired our guns ’til the barrels melted down
Then we grabbed an alligator and we fought another round
We filled his head with cannonballs and powdered his behind
And when we touched the powder off – the gator lost his mind
– Johnny Horton
(Different state, but what the hell.)
RepubAnon
“Say hello to my little friend!”
HalfAssedHomesteader
@Steeplejack: You want to touch my gator?
SRW1
Next question by the deputy: “Ma’am, is that alligator loaded??
Michigan's Man of the Year 2013
I ‘ope she ‘ad a liceaunse for zat minkey.
mrmoshpotato
Didn’t this happen a few weeks ago, or is this another Pants Gator™️?
NotMax
Next question, was she wearing Crocs?
Ruckus
Doesn’t everybody in FL have a gator in their pants?
I mean come on! Get with it people.
feebog
@dmsilev:
National Rifled Alligator Association wins the internets tonight. Your cash award from Nigeria is in the mail.
mrmoshpotato
This seems like a good thread to put this.
The Chicago Bare & Water Show!
Warning: MAN BUNS!
mrmoshpotato
@dmsilev: What about crocodiles?
oatler.
“Gator Bait”
delk
Nothing up my sleeves, and Presto!
mrmoshpotato
@delk: Presto! Chompo!
Omnes Omnibus
@Steeplejack: It is possible that this is some odd Floridian take on Susan Lowden’s medical payment plan.
AxelFoley
I’ve heard of snapping pussy, but this is ridiculous.
Omnes Omnibus
@Omnes Omnibus: Help! FYWP is holding my last comment hostage.
Amir Khalid
How does one hide anything in yoga pants?
dmsilev
@mrmoshpotato: Anybody who doesn’t understand the obvious and crucial distinctions between alligators and crocodiles should be disqualified from opining on the issue of Constitutional Reptile Rights.
Signed, totally not an NRAA spokesman.
Omnes Omnibus
@Amir Khalid: As you ask that question, just remember that you will have to live with that knowledge for the rest of your life.
trollhattan
@SRW1:
“Naw, but I sure am.”
Gator, gator, burning bright
Goddamnit these yoga pants are nylon!
mrmoshpotato
@dmsilev: So crocodiles are second-class reptiles to you? You reptilist!
mrmoshpotato
@Omnes Omnibus: Congrats on making the 2-point conversion tonight. Or did the Brewers just kick 5 field goals?
Shalimar
So she had a foot-long in her pants. Is that even a big deal anymore?
Omnes Omnibus
@mrmoshpotato: A converted try, 2 penalty kicks, and a drop kick.
Mart
Machan-Le Quire obviously practices Cajun Hot Yoga. I recall this pose is the Five Toes Front, Four Toes Back Gator position. You can really work up a mean sweat with the three stripe turtles; and when it is over you feel so in touch with nature and energized!
mrmoshpotato
@Mart: You forgot Upward Facing Platypus.
?BillinGlendaleCA
@Omnes Omnibus: You know what you did.
Repatriated
@dmsilev: The distinction, of course, being how soon one sees them again.
One gets seen “later”, the other “in a while”.
joel hanes
Open thread?
I’m in rural northern Iowa, and the weather forecast says that in three hours, about 3:30 AM, we have a pretty good chance of thunderstorms with wind gusts to 75 miles an hour, hail up to two inches in diameter, and possibly a tornado.
smike
@RepubAnon:
FTW!
Amir Khalid
@joel hanes:
I hope you have the armour-plate umbrellas ready to go.
mrmoshpotato
@joel hanes: Good luck.
mrmoshpotato
@joel hanes: That storm front has some red in it. Batten down the hatches.
SRW1
@joel hanes:
If you absolutely have to venture outside, make sure you wear a motor bike helmet or some such!
Odie Hugh Manatee
@NotMax: This Manatee hasn’t been anywhere near Florida or yoga pants (better half is rather modest in that regard).
prostratedragon
A little night music:
Steeplejack
@prostratedragon:
Good one. Haven’t heard that in a long time.
Listened to the first “side”—I still hear it that way—but now I’m off to bed. Will save it for later.
joel hanes
Passed over with just a couple thunderclaps and a rush of rain.
Sloane Ranger
@debbie: A London Metropolitan Police officer got a publishing deal for his 30 years of experiences. It was titled “A Policeman’s Lot ” and had me in stitches.
Plus Police Review, a weekly magazine aimed at what you would call law enforcement professionals, had a section where readers could submit their own experiences. It was worth reading just for that.
In my experience, police officers who don’t maintain an active, if somewhat dark,sense of humour and the absurd tend to crash and burn one way or another.
BC in Illinois
@Yutsano:
@debbie:
@Sloane Ranger:
When my brother the MD State Policeman was telling of his days at work, you started to expect that there would be a driver going the wrong way on the interstate every time you took a trip.
My favorite was the story (told as if it happened all the time) of pulling over an erratic driver, having him step out of the car. The guy “pours out of the car, leans against the car, and the first words our of his mouth are . . . [of course . . .
“Man, am I drunk!”
As my brother said, “Wrong thing to say.”
debbie
@BC in Illinois:
The brazenness sometimes!
Just after I moved back here, there was a report on the news about an officer pulling over a pickup truck that was dragging an ATM machine behind it. The driver and passenger insisted it was a washing machine they were taking to the repair shop. They continue insisting all the way to lockup.
Viva BrisVegas
@mrmoshpotato:
Here we just tie a hook onto a full sized gator and use it as bait for the medium sized crocs.
For the big crocs we use a bigger bait.
mrmoshpotato
@debbie: ATM – Automatic Taking-dirt-off-clothes Machine
mrmoshpotato
@Viva BrisVegas: Haha