Floriduh! Woman: Concealed Carry Edition

I don’t think this is allowed even with a valid Florida Concealed Weapons License!

Take it away WNDU!

PUNTA GORDA, Fla. (AP) – Officials say a Florida woman who pulled a small alligator from her yoga pants during a traffic stop and illegally possessed numerous other wild animals has been sentenced to probation after pleading guilty to four charges.

Florida prosecutors say a Charlotte County sheriff’s deputy stopped a pickup truck in May after it ran a stop sign. The driver, 22-year-old driver Michael Clemons, told the deputy he and his 25-year-old passenger, Ariel Machan-Le Quire, were collecting frogs and snakes under an overpass. He gave the deputy permission to search bags in the truck.

When the deputy found 41 3-stripe turtles in a “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle” backpack, he asked if Machan-Le Quire had anything else. She pulled the 1-foot gator from her pants.

Officials say the Clemons case is pending.

I hope she was at least using a holster!

Open thread!

60 replies
  1. 1
    Kristine says:

    I grew up in the Port Charlotte/Punta Gorda area. Good to see that area of the state contribute its share of crazy.

  2. 2
    rikyrah says:

    I really can’t get past the alligator in yoga pants 😲😲

  3. 3
    debbie says:

    I wonder if cops ask to be transferred to Florida, just for the fun of the experience.

  4. 4
    dmsilev says:

    According to the NRAA, the National Rifled Alligator Association, concealed alligator carry is a sacred constitutional right.

  5. 5
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    When the deputy found 41 3-stripe turtles in a “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle” backpack, he asked if Machan-Le Quire had anything else. She pulled the 1-foot gator from her pants.

    Why does she need 41 turtles? I’m stuck on that one. My WTF meter is already pegged, so the gator in the yoga pants is no big deal.

  6. 6
    HalfAssedHomesteader says:

    who pulled a small alligator from her yoga pants

    Is this some kind of euphemism I don’t want to know about?

  7. 7
    Yutsano says:

    @debbie: I know one of the sheriffs in Orange county. He has definitely had some crazy tales to tell!

  8. 8

    Pffftt. Amateurs. She should’ve just said, “No, I don’t have anything else”. Then, if they found the alligator in her yoga pants, she should’ve just said “I forgot he was in there”.
    Is she REALLY from Florida?

  9. 9
    Steeplejack says:

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Yeah, the 41 turtles are a tipoff that this is something more than just wacky Floriduhns. Probably looking to sell them to pet stores. I wish these cases would get some fines, or something worse than a “ha-ha” squib in the paper. They’re looting the environment.

  10. 10
    NotMax says:

    Do NOT want to know where on (or in) their person he or she was concealing a manatee.


  11. 11
    sdhays says:

    @dmsilev: Honestly, I am 100% behind defining the right to bear arms keeping an alligator in your pants, yoga or otherwise.

    It would focus the risk where it belongs, that’s for sure.

  12. 12
    debbie says:


    A cop from around here self-published a book of his memorable moments after he retired. These books might make for better fund-raising than calendars.

  13. 13
    Steeplejack says:


    “I got yer small gator right here!”

    Okay, that line needs some work.

  14. 14
    Duane says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: the Mutant Ninja Turtles backpack has me wondering if that’s some Florida voodoo thing to create her own super- turtle team.

  15. 15
    different-church-lady says:

    “Is that an alligator in your yoga pants or are you just pleased to see me?”

  16. 16
    NotMax says:


    We fired our guns ’til the barrels melted down
    Then we grabbed an alligator and we fought another round
    We filled his head with cannonballs and powdered his behind
    And when we touched the powder off – the gator lost his mind

      – Johnny Horton

    (Different state, but what the hell.)

  17. 17
    RepubAnon says:

    “Say hello to my little friend!”

  18. 18
    HalfAssedHomesteader says:

    @Steeplejack: You want to touch my gator?

  19. 19
    SRW1 says:

    Next question by the deputy: “Ma’am, is that alligator loaded??

  20. 20
    Michigan's Man of the Year 2013 says:

    I ‘ope she ‘ad a liceaunse for zat minkey.

  21. 21
    mrmoshpotato says:

    Didn’t this happen a few weeks ago, or is this another Pants Gator™️?

  22. 22
    NotMax says:

    Next question, was she wearing Crocs?

  23. 23
    Ruckus says:

    Doesn’t everybody in FL have a gator in their pants?
    I mean come on! Get with it people.

  24. 24
    feebog says:


    National Rifled Alligator Association wins the internets tonight. Your cash award from Nigeria is in the mail.

  25. 25
    mrmoshpotato says:

    This seems like a good thread to put this.

    The Chicago Bare & Water Show!

    Warning: MAN BUNS!

  26. 26
    mrmoshpotato says:

    @dmsilev: What about crocodiles?

  27. 27
    oatler. says:

    “Gator Bait”

  28. 28
    delk says:

    Nothing up my sleeves, and Presto!

  29. 29
    mrmoshpotato says:

    @delk: Presto! Chompo!

  30. 30
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Steeplejack: It is possible that this is some odd Floridian take on Susan Lowden’s medical payment plan.

  31. 31
    AxelFoley says:

    I’ve heard of snapping pussy, but this is ridiculous.

  32. 32
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: Help! FYWP is holding my last comment hostage.

  33. 33
    Amir Khalid says:

    How does one hide anything in yoga pants?

  34. 34
    dmsilev says:

    @mrmoshpotato: Anybody who doesn’t understand the obvious and crucial distinctions between alligators and crocodiles should be disqualified from opining on the issue of Constitutional Reptile Rights.

    Signed, totally not an NRAA spokesman.

  35. 35
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Amir Khalid: As you ask that question, just remember that you will have to live with that knowledge for the rest of your life.

  36. 36
    trollhattan says:

    “Naw, but I sure am.”

    Gator, gator, burning bright
    Goddamnit these yoga pants are nylon!

  37. 37
    mrmoshpotato says:

    @dmsilev: So crocodiles are second-class reptiles to you? You reptilist!

  38. 38
    mrmoshpotato says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: Congrats on making the 2-point conversion tonight. Or did the Brewers just kick 5 field goals?

  39. 39
    Shalimar says:

    So she had a foot-long in her pants. Is that even a big deal anymore?

  40. 40
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @mrmoshpotato: A converted try, 2 penalty kicks, and a drop kick.

  41. 41
    Mart says:

    Machan-Le Quire obviously practices Cajun Hot Yoga. I recall this pose is the Five Toes Front, Four Toes Back Gator position. You can really work up a mean sweat with the three stripe turtles; and when it is over you feel so in touch with nature and energized!

  42. 42
    mrmoshpotato says:

    @Mart: You forgot Upward Facing Platypus.

  43. 43
  44. 44
    Repatriated says:

    @dmsilev: The distinction, of course, being how soon one sees them again.

    One gets seen “later”, the other “in a while”.

  45. 45
    joel hanes says:

    Open thread?

    I’m in rural northern Iowa, and the weather forecast says that in three hours, about 3:30 AM, we have a pretty good chance of thunderstorms with wind gusts to 75 miles an hour, hail up to two inches in diameter, and possibly a tornado.

  46. 46
    smike says:


    “Say hello to my little friend!”


  47. 47
    Amir Khalid says:

    @joel hanes:

    hail up to two inches in diameter

    I hope you have the armour-plate umbrellas ready to go.

  48. 48
    mrmoshpotato says:

    @joel hanes: Good luck.

  49. 49
    mrmoshpotato says:

    @joel hanes: That storm front has some red in it. Batten down the hatches.

  50. 50
    SRW1 says:

    @joel hanes:

    If you absolutely have to venture outside, make sure you wear a motor bike helmet or some such!

  51. 51
    Odie Hugh Manatee says:

    @NotMax: This Manatee hasn’t been anywhere near Florida or yoga pants (better half is rather modest in that regard).

  52. 52
  53. 53
    Steeplejack says:


    Good one. Haven’t heard that in a long time.

    Listened to the first “side”—I still hear it that way—but now I’m off to bed. Will save it for later.

  54. 54
    joel hanes says:

    Passed over with just a couple thunderclaps and a rush of rain.

  55. 55
    Sloane Ranger says:

    @debbie: A London Metropolitan Police officer got a publishing deal for his 30 years of experiences. It was titled “A Policeman’s Lot ” and had me in stitches.

    Plus Police Review, a weekly magazine aimed at what you would call law enforcement professionals, had a section where readers could submit their own experiences. It was worth reading just for that.

    In my experience, police officers who don’t maintain an active, if somewhat dark,sense of humour and the absurd tend to crash and burn one way or another.

  56. 56
    BC in Illinois says:

    @Sloane Ranger:

    When my brother the MD State Policeman was telling of his days at work, you started to expect that there would be a driver going the wrong way on the interstate every time you took a trip.

    My favorite was the story (told as if it happened all the time) of pulling over an erratic driver, having him step out of the car. The guy “pours out of the car, leans against the car, and the first words our of his mouth are . . . [of course . . .

    “Man, am I drunk!”

    As my brother said, “Wrong thing to say.”

    Yes, your honor, the defendant did make a statement. He said, and I quote . . .

  57. 57
    debbie says:

    @BC in Illinois:

    The brazenness sometimes!

    Just after I moved back here, there was a report on the news about an officer pulling over a pickup truck that was dragging an ATM machine behind it. The driver and passenger insisted it was a washing machine they were taking to the repair shop. They continue insisting all the way to lockup.

  58. 58
    Viva BrisVegas says:


    What about crocodiles?

    Here we just tie a hook onto a full sized gator and use it as bait for the medium sized crocs.

    For the big crocs we use a bigger bait.

  59. 59
    mrmoshpotato says:

    @debbie: ATM – Automatic Taking-dirt-off-clothes Machine

  60. 60

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