Not Safe For Work Delivery: Floriduh! Man Edition

What did BettyC know and when did she know it?

The Pensacola News Journal has all the details:

Escambia County Commissioner Doug Underhill is fuming after a box labeled “industrial strength dildos” arrived in the mail at his county office Thursday.

Underhill showed the box to reporters following the County Commission meeting on Thursday, saying it demonstrated how far the level of civility has fallen in Escambia County.

“There’s no way this is even remotely appropriate in the way that we conduct business here in Escambia County,” Underhill said while pointing to the box. “We have staff members, young people, who have to handle the mail here. I’m a sailor, you’re not going to offend me with anything, but this kind of garbage, and this is the kind of garbage put out by the same kinds of people, the same lies, the same hate, the same anger that they bring to every single issue.”

The box itself appeared to be a practical joke box and was only filled with paper and a packing slip billing for the package that included the email address of the sender.

The email address belongs to a Perdido Key resident named Scott Anderson, who told the News Journal he had no idea about the box being sent to Underhill or how his email address ended up on the packing slip.

“I’m totally stunned by all of this,” Anderson said.

Anderson said he’s only interacted with Underhill a few times on the Nextdoor website over what he said was a lack of maintenance at the Perdido Key Dog Park.

“I suppose I could’ve irritated maybe an Underhill supporter,” Anderson said. “That’s the only thing I can think of.”

Despite the box appearing to be a joke, it was no laughing matter for Underhill.

Underhill regularly comments in local Facebook groups and often takes a combative tone with people with whom he disagrees.

Underhill said laughing at the antics of his dedicated critics only makes it worse because the time and energy spent on dealing with his critics is time not spent tackling issues that matter such as funding for public safety.

Underhill pointed to the meeting on Thursday as an example. On Thursday, members of Save Pensacola Beach protesting the county’s move to remove language approved by voters last year in a non-binding referendum.

During the discussion, Underhill said he compared the group and its founder Dianne Krummel to antifa, short for anti-facists, the name given to far-left protestors who often wear masks and engage in violent attacks during protest.

“Dianne, at some point you’re going to have to trade in that yellow shirt for a black mask if you keep this up,” Underhill said.

While speaking to reporters, Underhill blamed the press for feeding what he said was “radical activism” of the group and argued that the County Commission chambers should be a place of civil discussion.

When asked if his own speech, especially online, was uncivil, Underhill rejected the idea.

“I don’t think I’m uncivil online at all,” Underhill said. “I engage the adversary. The adversary is the lies, the untruths. The reality is if we as your — especially as conservative elected officials — do not push back against the spending, if we don’t push back against the corruption, if we don’t push back against the lies that are said here, then who will?”

He seems nice.

No word on when the lube is scheduled to be delivered.

Also, The Industrial Strength Dildos are my New Wave Fem Punk cover band.

Open thread!

 






87 replies
  1. 1

    Oh dear. Conservationists: the great antifa menace!

    But do they have supersoldiers?

  2. 2
    Baud says:

    So it was just a box without any dildos?

  3. 3
    NotMax says:

    Perhaps he’d have been more amenable to a friendly box of Hello Kitty dildos?

  4. 4
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @Major Major Major Major: These aren’t any conservationists, they’re the ones trying to get the local ordnances enforced to prevent Mike Huckabee from closing the beach behind the beach house he bought to the public in violation of state law. Huckabee has dropped a ton of money in the region to allow him, and others like him, to turn significant portions of Florida’s public beaches into private landholdings.

  5. 5
    NotMax says:

    We have staff members, young people, who have to handle the mail here.

    Under 18? Hired from Snowflakes R Us? Or both?

  6. 6
    dmsilev says:

    I know I’m going to regret asking this, but what exactly distinguishes an industrial-strength dildo from a run of the mill ordinary commercial-grade unit?

    Also, should we be asking about MILSPEC or aeronautical-grade dildos?

  7. 7
    raven says:

    And all those carrier pilots and Tailhook that came from Pensacola?

  8. 8
    Raven says:

    More than a third of the sex-related assaults reported in private rooms at the convention occurred in suites rented by aviators associated with the El Toro Marine Corps Air Station, investigators said. The study describes five “indecent assaults” that took place in one of the suites.

    The centerpiece of the room was a drink-dispensing dildo affixed to a 5-by-8-foot mural of a bull rhinoceros, the squadron mascot. According to the Pentagon, men drinking in the suite forced or tried to force the five women to place the dildo in their mouths to drink “Rhino spunk”–a mixture of rum, Kahlua, milk, ice cream and ice.

  9. 9
    NotMax says:

    @dmsilev

    “Takes a licking and keeps on dicking.”

    :)

  10. 10
    Ruviana says:

    My question is did Commissioner Underhill get a rice cooker? Or some old TVs?

  11. 11
  12. 12
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @Raven: My former boss was, before he was my former boss, the officer in charge of that study.

  13. 13
    Raven says:

    @Adam L Silverman: I had a buddy who was an A 6 driver (flew with McCain) and went to a bunch. By the time I met him he was sober and told me he HAD to stay away from the hooch partly from his TH experiences.

  14. 14
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @Raven: Apparently the entire thing was a freak show. Repeated annually.

  15. 15
    Raven says:

    @Adam L Silverman: Yup and they all went through Pensacola to get there.

  16. 16

    How the hell can you confirm the dildos *are* industrial strength?!?!

  17. 17
    Jay says:

    There is no such thing as a “industrial strength dildo”.

    Dildo’s have no moving parts.

    There are vibrators that are built to higher standards, but at a certain point in time, you just have to shell out for a Hitachi Magic Wand.

  18. 18
  19. 19
    Raven says:

    @Jay: Never heard of “The Rabbit” huh?

  20. 20
    NotMax says:

    @PaulWartenberg

    The dial goes to 11.

    /Spinal Tap

  21. 21
  22. 22
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @PaulWartenberg: There’s a technical standard.

  23. 23
    randy khan says:

    Not that I condone sending the box to him, but he does seem like the kind of guy who can dish it out and can’t take it.

  24. 24
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @Jay: @PaulWartenberg: @Raven: @NotMax:

  25. 25
    Mike in NC says:

    Season 2 of FBI drama “Mindhunters” is out on Netflix.

  26. 26
    Jay says:

    @Raven:

    The rabbit’s a vibrator, not a dildo, and one of the greatest inventions, ( by a woman, of course), of the 21st Century,

    But it’s not for industrial use.

  27. 27
    Jay says:

    @randy khan:

    He’s also the type of guy who is really twisted up about human sexuality.

    The dildo/glitter/lube/condom bombs dropped on Malheur targetting Snack Team 6, were more effective than the FBI.

  28. 28
    The Lodger says:

    @Jay: Depends on the industry, doesn’t it?

  29. 29
    Another Scott says:

    This Underhill? RawStory:

    The Florida official who called the Parkland activists “miscreants” appears to be the target of a mail prank, reports the Pensacola News Journal.

    […]

    Despite his calls for a more civil discourse, Underhill himself attacked the Parkland students as “little monsters” and “miscreants” on social media.

    […]

    Hmmm…

    In other news, Twitter:

    LOLGOP @LOLGOP

    LOLGOP Retweeted The New Yorker

    If voting didn’t matter, Republicans wouldn’t mind if black people did it.

    LOLGOP added, The New Yorker Verified account @NewYorker

    In Georgia’s gubernatorial race last year, 100,000 voters’ registrations were cancelled because they hadn’t voted in seven years. Another 53,000, 70 per cent of whom were black, had their registration put on hold for something as minor as a missing hyphen. http://nyer.cm/7NQvIbo

    6:38 PM – 16 Aug 2019

    Yup.

    NewYorker – Stacey Abrams Fight for a Fair Vote.

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  30. 30
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @Another Scott: That’s him. I didn’t quote that part of the article from Pensacola News Journal.

  31. 31
    chris says:

    @PaulWartenberg: Electric-start vs. pull-start

  32. 32
    Jay says:

    @The Lodger:

    Y’all don’t have Climax Factories any more,

    It’s more all small business now adays.

  33. 33
    Mary G says:

    The man the president said has a “serious weight problem” was actually one of his supporters, not a protester, AP reports. https://t.co/Hib8dB3Us2 pic.twitter.com/eHO8JinYSr— Daniel Dale (@ddale8) August 16, 2019

  34. 34
    debbie says:

    @Raven:

    What a nice turnout!

  35. 35
    surfk9 says:

    @chris: Kick Start

  36. 36
    debbie says:

    @Mary G:

    I saw a picture of the guy this morning. Trump weighs significantly more than him.

  37. 37

    @Mike in NC:

    Season 2 of FBI drama “Mindhunters” is out on Netflix.

    The first half of the first season didn’t wow me, so I stopped watching… but Canada seems to be bereft of a lot of the shows I was watching on Netflix, so I might just fire it back up.

  38. 38
  39. 39
    Kayla Rudbek says:

    Since it’s an open thread, one of my knitting projects was featured in the weekly newsletter from the company I bought the kit from! Afloat on the Fourth from Stunning String Studio

  40. 40
    Jay says:

    You can’t make this shite up. tRump is using eight goats to categorize part of his Bedminster golf club as a “farm” so he can pay less in property taxes.#tRumpCrimeFamily#tRumpIsAFraud pic.twitter.com/fAJEdc8zfF— Justice Seeker ☮️ (@tizzywoman) August 16, 2019

    Anybody checked them for signs of sexual assault.

  41. 41
    Amir Khalid says:

    @Adam L Silverman:
    It sounds like the culture that led to the Tailhook scandal continues largely unchecked in some quarters of the US Navy.

  42. 42
    The Dangerman says:

    @Jay:

    …for a Hitachi Magic Wand.

    Do I dare google?

  43. 43
    Jay says:

    @Major Major Major Major:

    We have the CRTC up here, and a variation on the Fairness Doctrine.

    Watch some Schitt’s Creek or Murphy’s Law, tune into CBC Radio at 1:30 tomorrow for The Debaters, 6:30 for Laugh out Loud, catch Under the Influence, or Vynel Tap.

  44. 44
    Jay says:

    @The Dangerman:

    As long as you stick to physio or Hitachi’s site. It was designed for medical/commercial massage purposes, but because it’s a “industrial grade” massager with a useful shape and good controls, it has been wildly repurposed.

  45. 45
    🇺🇸🌎 Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) 🗳🌷 says:

    @Major Major Major Major:

    Oh dear. Conservationists: the great antifa menace!

    But do they have supersoldiers?

    The Eugenics Wars are over two decades late!

  46. 46
    delk says:

    We have staff members, young people, who have to handle the mail here.

    So let’s put it on the news for even younger people to see. I would have put a mirror in the box before I sent it.

  47. 47
    Snarki, child of Loki says:

    When does the box of
    CONDOMS: EXTRA SMALL
    arrive?

  48. 48
    Jay says:

    @🇺🇸🌎 Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) 🗳🌷:

    We don’t need “Supersoldiers”,

    Have you seen their examples of the “Great White Race”?

  49. 49
    Brachiator says:

    The box itself appeared to be a practical joke box and was only filled with paper and a packing slip billing for the package that included the email address of the sender.

    It’s good to know that no actual dildos were harmed during the execution of this practical joke.

  50. 50
    Jay says:

    You can’t make this shite up. tRump is using eight goats to categorize part of his Bedminster golf club as a “farm” so he can pay less in property taxes.#tRumpCrimeFamily#tRumpIsAFraud pic.twitter.com/fAJEdc8zfF— Justice Seeker ☮️ (@tizzywoman) August 16, 2019

  51. 51
    Steve in the ATL says:

    @The Dangerman: NO

  52. 52
    Jay says:

    More than 900 Google employees signed a petition demanding that Google not provide any technical services to CBP, ICE or the Office of Refugee Resettlement (ORR), until the agencies "stop engaging in human rights abuses."#NoTechForIce #AbolishICE https://t.co/XMW4IynEve— Close the Camps NYC (@CloseTheCampsNY) August 17, 2019

  53. 53
    Jay says:

    @Steve in the ATL:

    Googling or Duck Duck Go-ings fine,

    Just check the links before you click.

  54. 54
    Jay says:

    RAICES announced the action against white supremacy to take place in El Paso.https://t.co/r9f3xrkwd3— REMEZCLA (@REMEZCLA) August 16, 2019

  55. 55
    Jay says:

    @Steve in the ATL:

    The Vancouver College of Massage Therapy site is safe.

    The Barr Epstien Harvard site is not.

  56. 56
    Jay says:

    This is the most gut-wrenching and heart-breaking movie we've seen. Darlin's story is that of hundreds of thousands of immigrants who come here seeking safety. What we do to those who come is a stain on the conscience of all of us.https://t.co/mGLUCTbUe7— RAICES (@RAICESTEXAS) August 16, 2019

  57. 57
    ruemara says:

    Well, I finally learned when my swearing in is. Tuesday. Of next week. No time to reschedule or anything.

  58. 58

    @ruemara: Nice of them to give you some advanced warning to plan and stuff. //

    I still have one of the flags from my wife’s swearing in.

  59. 59
    🇺🇸🌎 Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) 🗳🌷 says:

    @Jay:
    Cue “Where the fuck is your chin?”

  60. 60
    SWMBO says:

    @ruemara: Congratulations! Welcome!

  61. 61
    Jackie says:

    @ruemara: You don’t want to reschedule! Who knows what could happen/go wrong with a later date? So Tuesday the 20th is a day to celebrate!👍🏻

  62. 62
    Jay says:

    @ruemara:

    👍👍👍👍👍👍👍

  63. 63
    🇺🇸🌎 Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) 🗳🌷 says:

    @ruemara:
    Well, good luck? Glad to see you getting your citizenship. I assume U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services is a shit show, due to both general dysfunction and intentional sabotage I’m sure.

    I wonder if there have been any reports of difficulties getting passports?

  64. 64

    @🇺🇸🌎 Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) 🗳🌷: My wife got her’s last year, no problem, but it was a renewal of an expired passport. I advised both her and the kid to get passport cards as well and carry them with them at all times, especially since they’re POC.

  65. 65
    CarolPW says:

    @ruemara: Where? And is it OK if nearby BJ folks come to cheer? Very happy for you!

  66. 66
    Zfeebog says:

    @ruemara:

    Congratulations! Don’t forget to register to vote.

  67. 67
    Kattails says:

    @ruemara: It will be fine. You know more than most Americans. Enough of us are happy to have you here. Not as many as we might like, but enough. “Psychic moral support for Ruemara” on calendar. Please keep us up to date.

  68. 68
    mrmoshpotato says:

    @Jay: You saying Dump is a goatfucker? You sure he’s not more of a ratfucker?

  69. 69
  70. 70
    mrmoshpotato says:

    @ruemara: 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉 Congrats!

  71. 71
    mrmoshpotato says:

    @🐾BillinGlendaleCA: I said ‘more”, not ‘either..or’

  72. 72
    Ruckus says:

    @ruemara:
    Very glad to have you as a fellow citizen.
    The only test most of us have to take is learning how to breath and that seems to mostly come natural. You got here the hard way, you earned it.

  73. 73
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Baud:

    So it was just a box without any dildos?

    Maybe the actual dildos were in Cole’s basement.

    Still you bought a toy that can reach the places he never goes

  74. 74
    🇺🇸🌎 Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) 🗳🌷 says:

    @🐾BillinGlendaleCA:
    I’m thinking of getting one. I probably should in case the need to bug out of the US ever arises because of Trump regime or any post-Trump GOP admin goes too far. Your wife and daughter should definitely do that

  75. 75
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Jay: Goat and sheep molestation isn’t really a golf thing. I would say that, in the sports world, it is most common in Kiwi and Scots ruggers.

  76. 76

    @🇺🇸🌎 Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) 🗳🌷: They both have passport cards now and carry them with them. The passport card is only good for travel to Mexico and Canada, for anything else you need the booklet type of passport.

  77. 77
    smike says:

    @🇺🇸🌎 Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) 🗳🌷:
    This place is always interesting. I’m sitting here calmly recreating, and I read the following:

    So it was just a box without any dildos?

    Maybe the actual dildos were in Cole’s basement.

    The next thing I read is;

    I’m thinking of getting one. I probably should in case…

    I realized I had lost the thread. Congratulations to you, Goku. Welcome.

  78. 78
    CapnMubbers says:

    @ruemara: @CarolPW: Hooray! Hoorah! I second CarolPW’s suggestion about BJ folks cheering you on, if you don’t mind, depending on location.

  79. 79
    J R in WV says:

    @Raven:

    700 folks went to the funeral in El Paso.

    I’m glad there was a good turnout, and lots of support from the community for the old widower. I hope they continue to support him, as long as he needs it. I would go there to help provide him support, except for he is in Texas, which I have promised myself I will avoid as much as possible going forward.

  80. 80
    smike says:

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Goat and sheep molestation isn’t really a golf thing…

    If the fabled origins of golf are true, bored shepherds were involved. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

  81. 81
    🇺🇸🌎 Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) 🗳🌷 says:

    @smike:
    LOL
    @🐾BillinGlendaleCA:
    Good. I hate that we live in a world where that’s neccessary, but here we are

  82. 82
    Alternative Fax, a hip hop artist from Idaho says:

    @ruemara: 🎉🎉🎆 That’s short notice, but a great cause for celebration!

  83. 83
    laura says:

    @ruemara: Congratulations! And thank you for all your efforts to become a citizen. This calls for cake.
    If I were mailing something to Doug Underhill, it’d be a big ole bag of salted dicks.

  84. 84
    Ian R says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: It’s like an after-school special moral: “The real dildos were inside him the whole time.”

  85. 85
    Matt says:

    During the discussion, Underhill said he compared the group and its founder Dianne Krummel to antifa, short for anti-facists, the name given to far-left protestors who often wear masks and engage in violent attacks during protest.

    It’s positively adorable how fast these assclowns tell on themselves with “ZOMG ANTIFA” freakouts. Fascist snowflakes.

  86. 86
    Sick of Politics says:

    same guy condoning a county employee suing one of his main detractors The commissioner that received the empty box labeled Industrial strength dildos has, on his official facebook page a Go Fund me for a county employee that is suing a citizen. It’s defamation per se but most likely a SLAPP lawsuit The citizen regularly speaks out about him. Melissa Pino needs support with her Go Fund me. Will you make this viral?

    He has been labeled FLORIDA MAN.

    It’s on Facebook as Commissioner Doug Underhill

    And this is the citizen needing support. She is unemployed. even $5 is appreciated and a share This is an attack on free speech.Let it go viral

    https://www.gofundme.com/f/te86e8-legal-defense

    Fundraiser by Tracy McAdams : Legal Defense for Mel Pino
    Melissa Has stood up and spoke on behalf of most citizens in Escambia County (Pensacola, FL) and has faced retribution at every angle. She has stood tall and taken it with dignity and respect never once wavering from cowardice acts thrown her way in attempts to silence our voice(s).
    http://www.gofundme.com
    Citizen who speaks out against Dildo Doug needs support.

  87. 87
    Sick of Politics says:

    He and others seem to be trying to shut down Melissa Pino from public participation. There a go fund me organized by Tracy McAdams to support her lawsuit.

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