(Extremely Tongue-in-Cheek) Respite Open Thread: Encouraging Arson By Vermin Procyon-Lotor-Americans

I’m glad the little guys escaped safely, but if you’ve ever lost power due to a coon (or squirrel) taking down a transformer, you’ll get the joke…






54 replies
  1. 1
    trollhattan says:

    Great, now those thieving fat bastards understand ladder technology!

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  2. 2
    Another Scott says:

    Clever of the firemen to stack the ladders like that. I’d never seen that before.

    Glad the little monsters got out, also too.

    Cheers,
    Scott.

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  3. 3
    NotMax says:

    Trio of stories which caught the visual orbs.

    1. Time to rewrite the texts?

    Astronomers have discovered galaxies that have escaped detection until now, uncovering a missing link in galaxy evolution. The find suggests that we don’t understand galaxy formation as well as we thought we did.

    In deep observations that dig into the earliest eras of the universe, astronomers have excavated the ancestors of modern-day massive galaxies. These dusty galaxies are bursting with stars — but they’re invisible at the wavelengths astronomers typically probe.
    [snip]
    Observations at submillimeter wavelengths had turned up galaxies before now, but these had been the extreme stellar factories churning out thousands of stars per year. Those galaxies, while fascinating, are rare. The dim, shrouded galaxies that Wang’s team saw, though, are common enough that they could represent the ancestors of massive, elliptical galaxies that we see in today’s universe.

    Results such as this one, though, suggest that the young universe is more dusty than we thought. “This means we do not understand star formation in the early universe,” says Kirkpatrick. “Theory is, as of this paper, based on outdated observations.” Source

    2. Calgary Zoo patches broken penguin egg, buying time for premature chick

    AFAIK, no duct tape involved. ;)

    3. New tricks for the dog days of August.

    Residents living in a Virginia neighborhood woke up to find free televisions on their doorsteps. It sounds like a great gift until you see the older box sets left at the homes.

    “He’s committed to his trade,” said homeowner, Jim Brooksbank.

    No need to adjust that dial. Doorbell surveillance cameras captured the man with a TV set over his head, laying an older set down on someone’s front porch and just walking off.
    [snip]
    This is the second time the TV set mystery has played out in Glen Allen. The same thing happened in a different neighborhood last August. Source

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  4. 4
    catclub says:

    @NotMax: The story that caught my eye was the ‘global warming is a thing’ in many parts of the US, but not the deep south. I live there and would have thought it has come here, too.

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  5. 5
    A Ghost To Most says:

    Since racoons have opposable thumbs and smarts, I fully expect them to be the next dominant species after we wipe ourselves out.

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  6. 6
    laura says:

    So happy the trash pandas made an escape, and hugs to the firefighters and their clever ladder stacking

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  7. 7
    rikyrah says:

    chris evans (@notcapnamerica) Tweeted:
    This woman asked Bernie about rape and sexual assault. Why did he start talking about wages? https://t.co/bWQbqrl206 https://twitter.com/notcapnamerica/status/1161706690095525888?s=17

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  8. 8
    Enhanced Voting Techniques says:

    This is why they have masks, so we can’t ID them.

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  9. 9
    Elizabelle says:

    I am glad the raccoons survived. #Save the trash pandas.

    I wonder if fire departments ever do ladders like that with cats in trees.

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  10. 10
    JPL says:

    Steyer is on CNN slamming trump about his lack of attention span to do the work necessary. He really should use his wealth to support dems especially running for Senate. He needs to put his ego aside.

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  11. 11
    J R in WV says:

    Glad the “Trash Pandas” escaped — they looked OK to me, jumping the last 4 or 5 feet and scurrying away pretty well. I know they can be a pain in the ass, we’ve had them around here from time to time, but still, they’re pretty successful little varmits, and really cute.

    ETA: Hope Mayor Pete awards the responsible firefighters with at least a nice certificate or plaque, or even a promotion for quick thinking…!!!

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  12. 12

    @rikyrah: Bernie’s a one-note ol’ tyme Marxist.

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  13. 13

    @JPL:

    He needs to put his ego aside.

    Good luck with that.

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  14. 14
    mrmoshpotato says:

    @trollhattan: The beavers will make them ladders! We’re doomed!

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  15. 15
    VeniceRiley says:

    @rikyrah:

    This woman asked Bernie about rape and sexual assault. Why did he start talking about wages? https://t.co/bWQbqrl206 https://twitter.com/notcapnamerica/status/1161706690095525888?s=17

    That’s what the rape essay no one read was about, and Wilmer still believes it. The socialist revolution will solve all ills by paying great wages to all the male rabble; and their wimminfolk will no longer fantasize about being gangraped either … because their man will be a manly man with a secure job and a wage.

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  16. 16
    JPL says:

    @rikyrah: The other day I listened to him and I was shocked how the media ignored his obvious gaffs to change but focused in on Joe. Count me in as a Biden/Harris ticket being the strongest so I might be biased.
    I’d prefer if Joe resigned after the first year though.

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  17. 17
    JPL says:

    @VeniceRiley: That is such a sick explanation, but I think you are correct.

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  18. 18
    mrmoshpotato says:

    @JPL: Not resigned after the first day?

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  19. 19
    JPL says:

    @mrmoshpotato: Okay you win.. I could agree with that. Kamala is on CNN now..

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  20. 20
    JPL says:

    @JPL: oh my.. Kamala.. trump uses twitter as a weapon. well duh

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  21. 21
    Boris, Rasputin's Evil Twin says:

    Last Thursday my father in-law received a letter from the NRA telling him about their “Banned Guns Giveaway” He has the opportunity to “Enter for a chance to win the guns that Bernie, Biden, and Booker want to BAN!” Assault rifles, tactical shotguns, pistols and more. We can’t decide if this, coming less than a week after Dayton and El Paso, is really bad timing, appalling taste, or just a slap in the nation’s face.

    These fuckers have no souls.

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  22. 22
    Chyron HR says:

    @rikyrah:

    This woman asked Bernie about rape and sexual assault. Why did he start talking about wages?

    Because He is the lord your GOD, and you will heed His divine words!

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  23. 23
    TS (the original) says:

    So I just saw the news on the markets. Took GWB seven years to crash the economy, seems trump can do it in less than three. There were no great leaps or falls during the Obama years & the Clinton years were steady growth after the crash of 87. I will never understand how RW governments convince the world they are the greatest of money managers.

    Could it just be Democratic Party Presidents appoint people who know and understand what they are doing? Whose advice the Presidents follow?

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  24. 24
    mrmoshpotato says:

    @JPL: hehe

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  25. 25
    Ohio Mom says:

    My favorite memory of the zoo in Tel Aviv was the display of the exotic North American raccoon.

    What a zookeeper’s delight: they’ll eat anything and reproduce easily. In fact, the cage was a bit over- overcrowded.

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  26. 26

    @Chyron HR:

    Because He is the lord your GOD, and you will heed His divine words!

    I thought Tad left the campaign.

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  27. 27
    Bill Arnold says:

    @catclub:

    The story that caught my eye was the ‘global warming is a thing’ in many parts of the US, but not the deep south. I live there and would have thought it has come here, too.

    They need more Red-State hurricanes to get the message?

    [0] Link, to encourage reading the piece. 2°C: Beyond the limit – Extreme climate change has arrived in America (Steven Mufson , Chris Mooney , Juliet Eilperin and John Muyskens, (photos) Salwan Georges, Aug. 13, 2019)
    FWIW that’s not projections; the projections look worse:
    Weather 2050 – America is warming fast. -See how your city’s weather will be different in just one generation. (Umair Irfan, Eliza Barclay, and Kavya Sukumar, July 19, 2019)

    ReplyReply
  28. 28
    David 🎅🎄Merry Christmas🎄🎅 Koch says:

    @TS (the original):

    “I’ve been around long now and I think of myself as a young guy, but I’m not so young anymore, and I’ve been around for a long time and it just seems that the economy does better under the Democrats than the Republicans. Now, it shouldn’t be that way but if you go back, I mean, it just seems that the economy does better under the Democrats.”

    Donald Trump

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  29. 29
    David Koch says:

    @rikyrah:He was likely trying to avoid a follow up question on the rampant sexual harassment on his campaign.


    Bernie Sanders’ Bungled Response To Sexual Harassment

    It is not surprising to learn that Bernie Sanders’ 2016 campaign had a sexism problem. It is more surprising — and much more disappointing — that Bernie Sanders does not know how to convince women that he cares.

    Politico and The New York Times reported this week that 24 individuals — men and women — had signed a letter calling for a meeting with Sanders about the toxic environment that developed over the course of his previous primary campaign. The New York Times further reported the allegations: Women were groped and mocked for reporting it (“I bet you would have liked it if he were younger,” one manager reportedly told a woman who said she had been touched by an unnamed campaign surrogate), paid thousands of dollars less than male colleagues with similar jobs, or marginalized when they refused to share hotel rooms with managers.

    ***
    When CNN’s Anderson Cooper questioned Sanders about the sexual harassment allegations, the senator avoided addressing them for several minutes, prefacing his comments about the allegations with a monologue about how his primary campaign had been a successful force for good. He denied knowing about the harassment, framing it as a distraction from his more important work.

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  30. 30
    Mary G says:

    I am the second racoon.

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  31. 31
  32. 32
    Bill Arnold says:

    One of my first memories is of raccoons. A next-door neighbor used to feed them stale bread; he’d open an exterior basement door (concrete stairs up). I recall a bunch of masked faces with glowing eyes in the semi-dark. No fear for me (and obviously not for the raccoons).

    Later, same place, my father fought an endless fight with raccoons over sweet corn. Every summer it was a different method; radio, wrapping the fertilized ears in plastic bags, electric fence, dog (OK, golden retriever, “pleasure blob”. :-), a few others. Nothing worked. Always, the raccoons would consume the sweet corn (neatly, leaving empty cobs) approximately one night before we were planning to pick it. They got annoyed at the electric fence though, pulled it down somehow. I think we got some one summer, perhaps the raccoons didn’t smell it in time.
    Perhaps there was a few thousand years of social co-evolution with native Americans in the area, who grew corn.

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  33. 33
    mrmoshpotato says:

    @Ohio Mom: Raccoons in a zoo – that must’ve been a sight to see!

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  34. 34
    Jay says:

    Reupping for the millionth time this FOX February 2014 interview, in which Trump basically gives up his game.Talks about wanting close relationship with Russia, getting Putin's approval, and his desire to tank the economy and cause riots in the US. Thread: https://t.co/sJ4oaW94L5— Sarah Kendzior (@sarahkendzior) June 9, 2018

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  35. 35
    CaseyL says:

    @Ohio Mom: @mrmoshpotato: Australians feel the same bemusement seeing kangaroos in zoos :)

    I’m extremely fond of raccoons, but my kitties hate them. Since babies/nursing moms, and youngsters fresh out on their own, know I’m an absolute sucker and good for a few handsful of kibble, they come around regularly for handouts. And my cats look at me like I’m out of my mind.

    One of these days they’ll try to have me committed as a danger to society.

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  36. 36
    SectionH says:

    @Ohio Mom:
    @mrmoshpotato:

    The Cincinnati Zoo has (had?) Raccoons in their petting zoo. They were the #1 animal a good Aussie friend wanted to see when we took him there. For realz. When I showed Mr S the Raccoon video up top, that was the first thing he said, welll, after his equivalent of “ Awwwwww…” So yeah “exotic” depends on where you’re starting from.

    Eta: oh, and CaseyL. Exactly!

    ReplyReply
  37. 37
    trollhattan says:

    @Bill Arnold:
    Parents had friends on Bainbridge Island in Puget Sound. They had us over for dinner and then the evening show, when they’d open the kitchen jalousie window and the raccoons would show up for their dinner–bread passed to the chubby arms reaching inside. Boy howdy, there’s no meaningful limit of how many bread slices a racoon can stuff into its maw–they just two-fist it in there as long as you hand it over. When they’d run out they closed the window and the bastards would bang on the glass awhile before waddling off, presumably next door.

    As a city kid, of course, I LURVED it.

    ReplyReply
  38. 38
    debbie says:

    At long last, something even stupider than Trump.

    ReplyReply
  39. 39
    SectionH says:

    @CaseyL: Yeah, they’re cute, but DO NOT LET GET INTO YOUR HOUSE. /voice of experience

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  40. 40
    SectionH says:

    @debbie: I’m not clear if this means ppl who license their name and/or logo must use “The” as part of the name, or if they want to be the exclusive owners of “The” as part of any University ‘s name. In the latter case, Hopkins, uh, excuse me, The John Hopkins University might want a word…

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  41. 41

    @CaseyL:

    Australians feel the same bemusement seeing kangaroos in zoos

    Something like this struck me when I was in Singapore. We went to a park (near Bukkit Timah) that had monkeys in it, and everyone treated them about the way we’d treat squirrels or raccoons: they’re interesting and cute but troublesome, and nothing to get worked up about. But when we went to a nature area and saw a squirrel, people were terribly excited at seeing something so exotic.

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  42. 42
    mrmoshpotato says:

    @debbie: Goes with the territory of being THE Ohio State University.

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  43. 43
    Jay says:

    One of the most troubling things about the last few years I've been doing this work is that the line between white nationalist rhetoric and mainstream conservative rhetoric has dissolved almost entirely https://t.co/4XlAgJaBJr— Jared Holt (@jaredlholt) August 14, 2019

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  44. 44
    mrmoshpotato says:

    @Jay: Can a Twitter user ask Jared to put a number to “the last few years?”

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  45. 45
    Jay says:

    Prince Andrew announced his retirement today from public life after a long period of severe personal stress. In a statement, his Royal Highness added he is ‘following advice’ from his doctor.There was no comment from #buckinghampalace @BBCScotlandNews BBC-NEWS pic.twitter.com/gtxurRvPQb— Brain Taylor (@BrainTaylorBBC) August 13, 2019

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  46. 46
    Jay says:

    @mrmoshpotato:

    It used to be rare for “conservatives” in office to slip and not use the dogwhistles.

    Now, with the Wussolinni Reich in power, almost all of them have abandoned the dogwhistles and are reading directly from Generalplan Ost in the origional german, quoting from Mein Kamph and the Protocols of the Elders of Zion.

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  47. 47
    debbie says:

    @SectionH:

    Apparently, they want to sell a line of t-shirts printed with “The” alone. They will not get the copyright, but they will bring out those shirts. I can only hope it fails.

    ReplyReply
  48. 48
    debbie says:

    @Jay:

    Epstein strikes from beyond the grave!

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  49. 49
    Jay says:

    Brutal thread,…….

    "Que es esto?" I don't know Spanish, but I asked the girl sitting in front of me what this silver thing that I pulled from her hair was. She answered and the woman doing braids with me told me it was a scrap of the space blankets they're given in the detention (a thread) pic.twitter.com/iVh9UT0eJW— Lindsey Nikola (@LindseyNikola) August 12, 2019

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  50. 50
    CaseyL says:

    @Jay: That appears to be a parody account.

    ReplyReply
  51. 51
    Kattails says:

    If you have ever tried to grow corn, and were so disappointed when you got these teensy ears, so the next year you
    built a massive compost pile, layered, with chicken manure, and it smoked when you turned it diligently,
    and you piled on the manure and planted some nice eating corn and some beautiful multicolored flour corn,
    and you tended the beds and kept manuring and got several rows of tall corn with great-looking ears,
    and TWO DAYS BEFORE YOU WERE GOING TO HARVEST, the f*cking raccoon clan and their entire extended family had a party where they tore down every single stalk and took ONE F*CKING BITE OUT OF EVERY SINGLE EAR
    you would not give a rat’s …yes I know they’re cute but… the only time I’ve ever considered owning firearms. Thinking about it, if I had to create a Trump coat of arms, raccoons rampant on a field argent might be a a place to start.

    ReplyReply
  52. 52
    Michael Cain says:

    IIRC, whichever agency it is that tracks power outages has a separate category just for outages caused by squirrels. Because it happens that often.

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  53. 53
    Miss Bianca says:

    @Kattails: Came to feel the same way about deer. For the same reasons.

    ReplyReply
  54. 54
    satby says:

    @J R in WV: South Bend has its issues, but love of animals unites this city. Serious critter love around here.

    ReplyReply

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