My Brother’s Kittens Update and Bruised Peaches

So Seth was able to contact the rescue people, and they gave him a trap, which she ignored last night because he had fed the hell out of her, but this morning he put some chicken in it, came back a bit later, and had captured her. She and her kittens are now crated upstairs in his house:

There are also FIVE kittens and not three. Seth reports that the mother is not, in fact, feral, and has had human contact because now that she and the kittens are safe, she has been coming up to Seth and letting him pet her. Seth is already in love and it would not surprise me if he keeps the momma and several of the kittens. His working philosophy is you don’t go out and get cats, you just keep the ones that show up to you. He’s been dying to have a cat around since Speak and Whisper both died, so we are hoping things work out with his dog Boghan.

He also has given them amazing names already- he has named them “white feet” and “grey feet” and “white stripe” as featured here:


At any rate, I was giving him shit about the names and he just said they were temporary, and we both agreed that my stupid ass would have named them Gary and Fred and Agnes and never been able to tell them apart, so maybe short term descriptive names are for the best.

In other news, I went to the strip district in Pittsburgh to get some things for my dad and to pick up some olive oil (It’s cheaper for me to drive 30 miles to pick up a gallon of imported olive oil at 25 bucks than it is for me to drive 5 miles and get half that in whatever shit Bertolli is passing off as olive oil), and on the way home I stopped by a farm and orchard I had never been to called Simmons Farm. I had no intention of buying anything but then discovered that they were basically GIVING away bruised peaches for 35 bucks a bushel. That’s an absurd price. So, of course I bought them.

When I got home I discovered that much to my surprise, what they were passing off as bruised peaches are really just mostly oddly shapen or ugly peaches. Some were misshapen, some had some bruises, many were smaller than average (so I assume those fell prematurely when they were picking other ones and they just threw them in the shitty peach bin), etc. All told, there were only about 20 peaches that had portions of them that were unusable. I carved those up and threw the bad parts over the fence for the deer that come by every night and put the good parts in an 8 qt cambro and refrigerated them until tomorrow, and I will make jam with them. When the others ripen, I will can them. I might try to dehydrate some, too, for snacking.

Send money to my paypal account and buy stock in mason jars, I have a problem. In all seriousness, though, 35 dollars for a bushel is just ridiculous. Prepared, that’s like 300 bucks worth of product, and my parents want some more, my sister will want some, etc. And I like the activity and the thought of saving all that money and using something that might have been thrown away.

*** Update ***

Speaking of bruised peaches, my friend had his dog Zero fixed, and the vet told him to ice his sack five times a day for 20 minutes. I’ve never had to do this so I have no idea if the vet was just messing with him, but it’s happening and this picture is equal parts sweet and hysterical:

36 replies
  1. 1
    Elizabelle says:

    Save the peaches! Save the kittehs!

  2. 2

    Are you going to adopt the rest of the kittens? Steve doesn’t want to be the only cat.

  3. 3
    Baud says:

    Somewhere, an iPhone camera engineer is silently cursing the Cole family.

  4. 4

    his dog Boghan.

    I hate to ask, but has my favorite floppy-eared pup, Ellie, left us?

    Those kittens are so stinkin’ cute. And so deceptive. I remember when I was fostering, once they became mobile, nothing was safe and they used my Great Danes as playground equipment.

  5. 5
    rikyrah says:

    Your brother takes worse pictures than you do😌
    But, even with bad pictures, the cuteness😻😻😻😻😻
    I hope that they have found a home with your brother😎😎
    As far as the peaches go😋😋😋

  6. 6
    Wapiti says:

    If your previous jelly never set, maybe use these peaches to make jelly for your sister?

  7. 7
    Amir Khalid says:

    White Feet, Grey Feet, White Stripe. Nice names. What about Mama and the other two baby kittehs?

  8. 8
    zhena gogolia says:

    Love the kitties! The mom looks great too.

  9. 9
    mrmoshpotato says:

    🎶Millions of peaches, peaches for me
    Millions of peaches, peaches for 35 bucks per bushel

    Millions of peaches, peaches for me
    Millions of peaches, peaches for 35 bucks per bushel

    Look Out!🎶

    Oh ya, and kitties! Awww!

  10. 10
    Anne Laurie says:

    Given her size (and expression), wouldn’t surprise me if teenaged momcat escaped from her original home when she first came into season, and couldn’t (or wouldn’t) find her way back once she’d gotten herself knocked up.

    She’s also the image of our late Toby, who *was* feral, and never quite got over it (livetrapped when she was six months old; as she got older, she would consent to be petted, and *sometimes* even sit in your lap, if you were sufficiently polite in your invitation). Just in case Seth should happen to need a name for her.

    (Toby is a perfectly fine feminine name — short for Tovah, from the Hebrew root ‘good’. But our girl got her name because she was so butch, even the vet who spayed her marked her intake card MALE. By the time we’d brought her home & figured it out, she’d accepted the name for her own.)

  11. 11
    Martin says:

    Kittens are so last week. Show us those baby feral hogs!

  12. 12
    laura says:

    @Martin: but ma babbies was playin in the yard when the feral pigs( not knowing I was armed, locked and loaded) commenced to invade ma yard…

  13. 13
    dmsilev says:

    @Martin: I love the smell of napalm in the morning. It smells like …bacon.

  14. 14
    laura says:

    @laura: that Jason Isbell sure brightened a dark day for me, glad to see you enjoyed it too. Thanks Martin.

  15. 15
    Spanky says:

    @Anne Laurie:

    … she was so butch, even the vet who spayed her marked her intake card MALE.

    Say whut??

  16. 16
    Miss Bianca says:

    So, MomCat’s glare at the camera just means she doesn’t like her photo snapped, not “I WILL END YOU”? Good to know.

    Ah, kittens and Zero so stinkin’ cute. I am just squeeing like a schoolgirl over here.

  17. 17
    mrmoshpotato says:

    @Spanky: The cat….ummm…..was wearing boy jeans and had a buzz cut?

  18. 18
    mrmoshpotato says:

    @Miss Bianca: Is it me, or does Zero look like he’s enjoying some iced crotch?

  19. 19
    HumboldtBlue says:

    Really love your peaches wanna shake your tree!

    Lovey-dovey Lovey-dovey all the time, hoo-wee baby I’ll sure show you a good time.

    On another note, I’m not the world’s biggest Beatles fan, but this is a damn fine cover even though the sound quality falls even lower than the Cole family photo skillset.

  20. 20

    A friend who doesn’t want to comment himself says


  21. 21
    HumboldtBlue says:

    And John I emailed you a few weeks ago about a local scientist who is a go-to source for ocean and water conditions and the impacts of climate change. It’s obviously a front-burner issue locally and I think she may be a fit in your bullpen.

    Also, Sea Grant ain’t too happy about ocean acidification.

  22. 22
    Olivia says:

    I love baby kitties more than almost anything. I love my kids and grandkids too, but OMG, I really love baby kitties. We were so lucky to have a cat who had kittens. I hope I can foster mama cats someday.
    I have had dogs fixed and never had to do the ice or the cone. Maybe we should have.
    Mr. Cole, I love your posts about canning and gardening and home maintenance and you would make such a great spouse for some lucky person. I hope you find each other some day.

  23. 23
    TomatoQueen says:

    The one with the little white nose is named BOOP.

  24. 24

    This post is why I read this blog every single day.

  25. 25
    chopper says:


    iced crotch

    that describes the last drink i got at starbucks.

  26. 26
    Gemina13 says:

    OMG. I’m developing kitten fever. That little one with the striped nose is so damn cute I’m about to die. <3 <3 <3 And Mama is adorable herself, if way too young. :(

    Goin' to John Cole country, gonna eat a lot of peaches
    Goin' to John Cole country, gonna adopt a bunch of kittens . . .

  27. 27
    Kattails says:

    One must NEVER be in a hurry to name kittehs. Temporary names are fine while you discern the finer points and come up with something suitable, which ideally should have two or three variants. For example, Melange (a tortie) was also Mellie-Wellie and The Melster. She arrived from the shelter as Patches FFS.
    Kitten bellies, kitten toes!!

  28. 28
    Eric NNY says:

    In most parts I’ve lived in, we call these peaches, or apples or pears “drops”. Good for jam or sauce and normally 1/4 the price.

  29. 29
    J R in WV says:

    Bought some peaches too long ago. Today was the last chance to d something with them, tomorrow they would have been refrigerated mush, Fortunately had all the ingredients for Peach Kuchen, came out great, two pans full. Made otherwise pedestrian meal great to have for dessert.

    Thanks Grandma!!!

    Also, the one time we accidently had kittens, they were mostly born on wife’s pillow one morning.. Ellie didn’t know what was happening so came to mom for help. A wonderful day, saved the one dropped on the cold kitchen floor with a hot water bag and a towel. They were a Thundering Herd of Kitty for a while there, such fun!

  30. 30
    Amir Khalid says:


    Patches FFS

    Now that is one heck of a name for a cat.

  31. 31
    zhena gogolia says:


    T. S. Eliot, is that you?

  32. 32
    Seth says:

    There are actually four kittens, not five. They are labeled (I won’t say named) White Feet, Grey Feet, White Stripe, and Black Star. Oh, and Momma Cat. Yeah, I’m like a three year old. Oh, and Momma Cat hasn’t let me pet her but she’s been super chill about me handling the kittens and was even falling asleep while I did so and talked to her. I think she is totally worn out.

  33. 33

    @Seth: She may need some nipple care feeding 4 kittens. When I fostered a mama and her five 1-day old kittens, that was the biggest thing. I used cool washcloths and she seemed to like that. But the rescue group might have other solutions.

  34. 34
    zhena gogolia says:

    T. S. Eliot’s advice:

    The Naming of Cats is a difficult matter,
    It isn’t just one of your holiday games;
    You may think at first I’m as mad as a hatter
    When I tell you, a cat must have THREE DIFFERENT NAMES.
    First of all, there’s the name that the family use daily,
    Such as Peter, Augustus, Alonzo or James,
    Such as Victor or Jonathan, George or Bill Bailey—
    All of them sensible everyday names.
    There are fancier names if you think they sound sweeter,
    Some for the gentlemen, some for the dames:
    Such as Plato, Admetus, Electra, Demeter—
    But all of them sensible everyday names.
    But I tell you, a cat needs a name that’s particular,
    A name that’s peculiar, and more dignified,
    Else how can he keep up his tail perpendicular,
    Or spread out his whiskers, or cherish his pride?
    Of names of this kind, I can give you a quorum,
    Such as Munkustrap, Quaxo, or Coricopat,
    Such as Bombalurina, or else Jellylorum-
    Names that never belong to more than one cat.
    But above and beyond there’s still one name left over,
    And that is the name that you never will guess;
    The name that no human research can discover—
    But THE CAT HIMSELF KNOWS, and will never confess.
    When you notice a cat in profound meditation,
    The reason, I tell you, is always the same:
    His mind is engaged in a rapt contemplation
    Of the thought, of the thought, of the thought of his name:
    His ineffable effable
    Deep and inscrutable singular Name.

  35. 35
    Shana says:

    John, I suspect your addictive personality has latched on to canning to take the place of alcohol. Much more delicious and much less damaging addiction though.

  36. 36
    Gemina13 says:


    Along with the suggested nipple care, give Mama more food. I recommend Wilderness brand wet food. She needs it to keep herself and her fluffy jellybeans going.

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