Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Good luck with your asparagus.

It’s not even safe to go out and pick up 2 days worth of poop anymore.

How do you get liars to care about the truth?

Fuck these fucking interesting times.

They traffic in fear. it is their only currency. if we are fearful, they are winning.

Shelter in place is one thing. Shelter in pants is quite another.

It’s always darkest before the other shoe drops.

Everybody saw this coming.

Women: they get shit done

Balloon Juice has never been a refuge for the linguistically delicate.

Naturally gregarious and alpha

… makes me wish i had hoarded more linguine

… riddled with inexplicable and elementary errors of law and fact

Let’s delete this post and never speak of this again.

We need fewer warriors in public service and more gardeners.

Not all heroes wear capes.

Where tasty lettuce and good mustard aren’t elitist.

Peak wingnut was a lie.

Dinky Hocker shoots smack!

Four legs? good! two legs? we’re not so sure…

And we’re all out of bubblegum.

We have all the best words.

Sadly, there is no cure for stupid.

This is all too absurd to be reality, right?

You are here: Home / Election 2020 / Friday Morning Open Thread: The Best Revenge

Friday Morning Open Thread: The Best Revenge

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172Comments

  1. 1.

    Baud

    I can’t believe Omar sold us out like that.

    Next thing you know, AOC will be telling people not to vote third party.

  2. 2.

    OzarkHillbilly

    I will max out my donation to the first major candidate to say that hardcore gun people are insane weirdos who can only get aroused at the thought of shooting a home invader, and no one needs to respect them or care about what they think

    — Online All-Star (@QuintusHaterius)

    And I will max out my donation to the first candidate who flies from LA to NYC by flapping their arms.

    I think both our bank accounts are safe.

  4. 4.

    Baud

    @OzarkHillbilly:

    Yeah, I wonder of he maxxed out his donation when Hillary called racists deplorable, or said Republicans were her enemies.

  7. 7.

    OzarkHillbilly

    The frozen extremities of the northern hemisphere are melting at a near-record rate as heatwaves buffet the Arctic, forest fires tear through Siberia and glaciers retreat on Greenland fjords and Alpine peaks.

    Unusually high temperatures are eating into ice sheets that used to be solid throughout the year, according to glaciologists, who warn this is both an amplifying cause and effect of man-made climate disruption across the globe.

    Greenland – which is home to the world’s second biggest ice sheet – is likely to have shrunk more in the past month than the average for a whole year between 2002 and now, according to provisional estimates from satellite data. Surface ice declined in July by 197 gigatonnes, equivalent to about 80m Olympic swimming pools, according to Ruth Mottram of the Danish Meteorological Institute. An additional third of that amount is likely to have been lost from glaciers and icebergs.

    The trend is accelerating. Wednesday was by far the biggest single-day melt-off of the year. “This was one of the highest ever and it is possible today [Thursday] will be even bigger because the heatwave is continuing,” said Mottram.

    With more than a month of the melt season to go, 2019 is already one of the top 10 years for ice loss in Greenland. The extent is thought unlikely to beat the record in 2012, but Luke Trusel, an assistant professor of geography at Penn State university, said the strength of the melt was greater.

    Apparently this Chinese hoax even has the ice fooled.

  9. 9.

    satby

    Gabby Giffords’ hubby has a good chance to add a Democratic Senator to the totals in November too.
    So many to support, so little money ?

  12. 12.

    Baud

    I recently cut the cord and tried using MSNBC’s app last night and it was awful. This morning, I tried their website and it’s just as bad.

    Might I suggest they fire Tweety and use the savings to hire a tech person?

  16. 16.

    JPL

    Company is sleeping so I’m taking the opportunity to catch up on the news and read that Hurd is out. Now who will reach across the aisle to vote with dems to stop trump…

  20. 20.

    trnc

    I can’t help but wonder if the open embrace of racism as a campaign strategy signifies that the Russians have told republicans they’ve improved their election tampering capabilities.

  24. 24.

    Quinerly

    I went to bed laughing about Silverman’s 120 year old ivory Irish dildo and how it was being donated to a museum…. A well endowed museum. Now, I wake up to learn it’s a fake. What a let down.

  25. 25.

    OzarkHillbilly

    Leticia Stegall still runs the Blue Line bar. Drawing up the rotas. Ordering barrels of beer. Encouraging the staff to put the TVs on, the umbrellas out and clear the tables quicker. But now she does it from exile, peering at her laptop and a video stream from cameras dotted between the ice hockey memorabilia lining the bar close to downtown Kansas City.

    “I still have the income from the bar. I’m not trying to live on 200 pesos ($10) a day. But it’s still a nightmare,” Stegall said by video call from the Mexican port city of Veracruz, where she currently lives after being deported and leaving her popular city bar – and her family – behind in America.

    Stegall had long feared the moment that arrived one morning in March 2018 when her car was surrounded by agents from Immigration and Customs Enforcement (Ice) as she pulled out of her driveway. She told herself they wouldn’t deport a woman with a teenage daughter who is a US citizen, and who jointly owned a business with her American husband that created jobs and paid hefty taxes to the US Treasury. Stegall, 42, was still making the same arguments as she was pushed across a bridge back to Mexico four days later.

    More than a year on, she’s fighting to get back to the US and grappling with anger at what she sees as the futility of ripping apart a family to make a political point. “They’re not deporting the cartels, the criminals, because they can’t find them. They’re deporting the wrong people because we’re in the system. They know where to find us, the easy targets,” she said.

    They always go after the low hanging fruit first. Otherwise they’d have to work at their jobs.

    The immigration judge ruled deportation did not mean the family had to be split up because Stegall could take Jennifer to Mexico, a country she has never lived in. Stegall appealed and lost.

    She turned to the federal courts but that process was still making its way through the machine when Ice arrived. Stegall was held in the county jail. Four days later, her lawyer obtained a writ from a federal judge requiring she be brought to court. By then she was shackled and on a plane stuffed with deportees.
    ……………………………………………………….
    By evening Stegall was standing at the frontier in Brownsville, Texas. “They dropped me off on the border and said, ‘Now you can go’. I said, ‘Where? I don’t know anybody here on the border’. The guy was, ‘If you knew how to cross the border to get here 20 years ago, you should know your way back’,” she said. Stegall made her way to Veracruz where her parents live.

    “I didn’t have time to say goodbye to my daughter. She went to school and I was gone. I can’t imagine how she felt when they tell her mom is not coming home,” she said. “I started getting sick, losing my hair like crazy. I had bald patches everywhere. I missed my daughter’s graduation and signing for college.”

    Again, the cruelty is the point.

    At the Blue Line, Steve steers clear of politics with his customers. He knows there are plenty of Trump supporters among his patrons. “They hate it that Letty’s gone. They think Letty’s one that needs to be here, but… They always have the ‘but’,” he said.

  29. 29.

    Keith P.

    hardcore gun people are insane weirdos who can only get aroused at the thought of shooting a home invader,

    *And* zombies. I find that most of my friends who are really into guns and own a lot of them also tend to mention what they’ll do in the “zombie apocalypse” as if zombies are a real problem in the world and not a fictional device. The reality is, they all tend to want to be able to kill somebody/something without getting in trouble for it, hence the infatuation with zombies and stand-your-ground.

  30. 30.

    Dorothy A. Winsor

    I see only 7 candidates have qualified for the September debates so far, with three more close. If there are 10 or fewer, there’ll be only one night.

    The 7–Biden, Warren, Harris, Sanders, Buttigieg, Booker, and O’Rourke
    The 3–Castro, Yang, Klobuchaur

    We won’t have Marilyn to kick around any more.

  31. 31.

    Quinerly

    @Baud: I have used the app when traveling. Wasn’t that bad. Has something changed? You probably know this but you can listen to MSNBC on the “Tune In” app. I have it on my Echos. “Alexa, play Tune In MSNBC.” I really love it. I’m experimenting with cord cutting. Not quite there because of some stations. The ones I want to keep are all on Tune In.

  32. 32.

    Amir Khalid

    @Keith P.:
    You must know this, but it sounds like they don’t: there’s no killing people for free. It’s psychologically traumatic for the killer, unless he’s a psychopath.

  33. 33.

    Quinerly

    @trnc: I actually thought of that a couple of weeks ago. Haven’t said it out loud for fear that people will think I’m nutter than they have originally thought.

  37. 37.

    Kay

    Hawaii Rep. Tulsi Gabbard has not made a statement in support of impeachment. Gabbard did not vote on recent impeachment articles brought forward by Texas Rep. Al Green. Her campaign did not respond to requests for comment.

    I think she made that weird hostage video defending Trump because she’s planning a no impeachment tour. In the video she says Trump “wasn’t indicted” – come on- she knows full well he can’t be indicted. She’s been making the rounds of Right wing outlets attacking Harris since the debate.
    It’s just crazy that we have to have a Right winger who works against Democrats in our primary. One who doesn’t respond to requests for comment, except when Tucker Carlson or The Federalist asks, then she’s happy to talk.

  38. 38.

    Amir Khalid

    @satby:
    I find that sad. Any rational person who’s seen the Dirty Harry movies know he’s seriously fucked up.

  42. 42.

    Kay

    @Dorothy A. Winsor:

    I’m glad. I confess I didn’t imagine the primary would be “7 Democrats versus 15 people who campaign against Democrats” but maybe I should have. If these people aren’t going to win, and they aren’t, maybe they could refrain from attacking every other Democrat, including Obama who wasn’t even there. How does Yang know how to promote his own thing without dividing the party and all these professional pols don’t?

  43. 43.

    germy

    @Dorothy A. Winsor:

    We won’t have Marilyn to kick around any more.

    She accomplished her goal, though. She raised her profile and plans on selling A LOT more books. Her speaking fees have probably doubled, as well as her mailing list.

  44. 44.

    Kay

    @Baud:

    I agree. I think she’s really tough. She’s intimidating and I mean that in the best way :)

    I think she’s stronger in some ways than Warren. I love Warren and I’m supporting her but it’s easier for me to imagine Harris as President. She has a bigger presence.

  45. 45.

    OzarkHillbilly

    A short but interesting read: Gadgets, drug mules, cheating husbands: my life as a private investigator

    One of the surprising things is the variety of specialties an investigator can have. One of my PI friends is a hospital investigator who investigates medical serial killers – “angels of death” who kill patients. I’ve also met bitcoin transactions experts, forensic genealogists, even experts on animal nose prints, which can be used for identification. Some PIs investigate cattle rustling. An animal welfare investigator told me about cases involving occult animal sacrifices. There are also people who gather forensic evidence from artificial intelligence programs like Alexa.

    Even the more common specialties are incredibly varied. Cheating spouses, custody battles, landlords investigating tenants, corporate background checks, insurance fraud, litigation support. CEOs in Silicon Valley have PIs on speed-dial to find employees who’ve leaked trade secrets or violated non-compete clauses.

    Hollywood studios used to hire PIs to make sure their stars stayed out of trouble. I’ve heard of a PI employed by insurance companies who would pretend to be a liquor company promoter. He would call celebrities and offer to ship them free alcohol, then track how much they took to see if they had a drinking problem.

    The PI industry has a cynical image but our work can really help people. Prosecutor’s offices sometimes hire outside investigators to work on cold cases. The Brooklyn district attorney and nonprofit organizations like Investigating Innocence use the work of PIs to exonerate people. Some investigators work for public defense organizations, looking for mitigating factors to save defendants from death row.

    Once a public defender’s office in Texas hired me because an elderly Quebecois man had been ensnared in a drug mule situation. He spoke no English and it was his first time ever leaving Quebec. He was naive and had been exploited by a woman he believed was in love with him. I was able to show that he wasn’t guilty and didn’t understand what he was doing. I may have helped save him from serious prison time.

    The author is French and female, not exactly the image that pops into one’s head when thinking of the hard bitten, street wise, private dick. And oh yeah,

    I don’t carry a gun. I’ve rarely felt unsafe, except when I was younger and worked as a process server. You have no idea how people will react to receiving court papers.

  49. 49.

    RedDirtGirl

    I dreamt last night that I got a babysitting gig (I’m 54) and Nancy Smash was the one who recommended me to the parents!!!

  50. 50.

    Kay

    @Baud:

    This is (perhaps) cynical but I think it’s true. Harris knows that explanations don’t and won’t matter and that’s why she’s impatient with the demands to make them. If there’s a group who have decided that she’s Kamala the Cop nothing she says will make them supporters. I like her recognition of what to me is the reality. Clinton explained and explained and explained. She sat for days of public hearings. The accusations and allegations stayed exactly the same.

  52. 52.

    Baud

    @Kay:

    I haven’t checked myself, but I’ve been told that if you go to the candidates’ websites, Kamala and Joe are the only ones that have provided any details about their health care plan. Neither Bernie not Warren have done so apparently.

  54. 54.

    Chyron HR

    @germy:

    Her speaking fees have probably doubled

    Damn, don’t let Bernie and the Bros find out. I understand they have deeply held and entirely consistent opinions about that sort of thing.

  55. 55.

    zhena gogolia

    @Kay:

    The scariest thing about that video is when she ends with the words “civil war” and a big smile on her face.

    She would have been a great apparatchik in collectivization, liquidating kulaks as a class with a smile on her face.

  56. 56.

    Baud

    @Kay:

    I agree with you. Her presence is her best asset. It’s kind of why she was underwhelming in the last debate. Booker is the one who really shined when it came to presence.

  57. 57.

    mrmoshpotato

    @Baud:

    Might I suggest they fire Tweety and use the savings to hire a tech person?

    A few techs could be hired if they boot all of the Morning Blow-Trump-Hard “talent” too.

  58. 58.

    Ceci n est pas mon nym

    Today I learned from the dead-tree NYT, which I get on weekends, that our party is “torn” and that Biden’s campaign is suffering because Obama’s legacy is under attack. By Democrats presumably.

    First reaction: Huh? Leakage from another universe?
    Second reaction: Is this a Maggie Haberman article?
    Third reaction: (Check byline, no it’s not). Huh?

  60. 60.

    Patricia Kayden

    @OzarkHillbilly: Devastating news. I’m thinking of all the animals Native to that region which will die because of climate change. And yet Republicans refuse to accept the science and do something to stop this tragedy. Huge sigh.

  61. 61.

    Kay

    @OzarkHillbilly:

    Women explain more than men do. Harris does not. I watch her and I think “wow- how did she manage to not internalize that she has to endlessly explain every decision she has ever made?”

    It’s phony. It’s not an honest request for context or nuance. It’s a method to announce the questioner’s already-formed opinion in the form of a question.

  62. 62.

    OzarkHillbilly

    Burger King will begin selling the plant-based Impossible Whopper across the US next week after a successful run in six regions. The rollout to 7,000 locations will be for a limited time, a typical practice in the fast-food industry for new products. The chain will not say how many of the burgers it has sold since introducing them in April, but did say it was enticing more people to enter its stores.

    Impossible Foods, the company that makes the burgers for Burger King and White Castle, is struggling to meet surging demand. On Thursday, it announced a new partnership with OSI, one of the world’s largest food producers. Impossible Foods has doubled the workers at its plant and produced a record number of burgers in June, but demand is still outpacing production. Impossible Foods introduced the burger as the veggie patty that “bleeds” at the high-end New York restaurant Momofuku in 2016. The burger is a feat of food engineering, attaining its red color from genetically modified yeast.

    Demand for plant-based meat alternatives has surged in the last two years as companies pitch the products to consumers conscious of meat’s contribution to the global climate crisis. The company’s largest rival, Beyond Meat, went public this summer, growing sales and its stock price rapidly after entering the stock market. Beyond Meat’s sales are also buoyed by a patty – the Beyond burger. Both Impossible Foods and Beyond Meat are competing to offer their products in fast-food chains and directly to consumers – and struggling to meet demand.

    Just eight days before Burger King announced the Impossible Whopper, Dunkin’ announced it would offer Beyond Sausage patties on breakfast sandwiches in New York City. Only one day earlier, the US Food and Drug Administration approved Impossible Foods’ products for sale direct to consumers, after it approved leghemoglobin as a color additive.

    Hey Arkansas, Missouri, Mississippi, Montana, S, Dakota and Wyoming? You can suck it.

  63. 63.

    Patricia Kayden

    @Kay: Why is Tulsi defending Trump in the first place? Isn’t she supposed to be trying to beat him? She’s not fooling anybody.

  64. 64.

    Steve in the ATL

    @Quinerly: but this opens up a whole new line of jokes about faking it

    @OzarkHillbilly: as long as it doesn’t affect my ski in/ski out chalet in Aspen

    Steve who doesn’t actually have a ski in/ski out chalet in Aspen

  65. 65.

    Elizabelle

    @Dorothy A. Winsor:

    We won’t have Marilyn to kick around any more.

    What I love is, it’s Marianne. If you are speaking of Marianne Williamson. But, agreed, she did raise her profile. Levitated it, even.

  66. 66.

    Steve in the ATL

    @OzarkHillbilly: and to think I was mocked as recently as last week because i don’t eat red meat owing to the environmental damage caused by cattle farming

  68. 68.

    mrmoshpotato

    @Keith P.: 1. Everyone knows you throw your record collection at zombies.

    2. What would they do about vampires, werewolves, mummies, the creature from the black lagoon, the 50-foot woman and the beast of Yucca Flats?

  69. 69.

    Kay

    @zhena gogolia:

    It’s because she’s supposedly a peacenik. Criticizing Russia will start a “new Cold War”. Criticizing Trump will start a “civil war”.

    It’s fucking ridiculous. She was a dedicated Muslim-smearer and terrorism fear-monger up until she decided to create a national profile and work against Democrats. There is nothing real about this person outside of malice.

  70. 70.

    OzarkHillbilly

    @Kay:

    Women explain more than men do.

    Heh, if I have one complaint about my wife, it is her tendency to explain things to death using 7 different versions of the same words. Took the Woofmeister to the vet last week. I told the vet what was going on in 3 sentences comprising maybe 30 seconds. Than she added her 2 bits. It took her a good 12 mins.

  71. 71.

    germy

    @Steve in the ATL:

    i don’t eat red meat owing to the environmental damage caused by cattle farming

    I have no evidence of this, but I wonder if future generations will eat only lab-grown meat. And they’ll regard us as being cruel and primitive for herding animals and slaughtering them.

  75. 75.

    Anne Laurie

    @trnc:

    I can’t help but wonder if the open embrace of racism as a campaign strategy signifies that the Russians have told republicans they’ve improved their election tampering capabilities.

    IMO, Trump’s crew sees Putin losing interest in the Oval Office Occupant — his GRU has been avidly signal-boosting Tulsi Gabbard this week. They’re doubling down on the racism because without Russia’s thumb on the voting-booth scales, they’ve got nothing but their Deplorables; remember, depressing the non-white, non-racist vote by the ugliest forms of intimidation is a tactic that goes back to 1876. McConnell certainly remembers that!

  76. 76.

    mrmoshpotato

    @germy: Grift, grift, grift your boat
    Gently down the stream,
    Merrily merrily, merrily, merrily
    Life is but a time to take gullible moron and nutjobs for every penny they’ve got

  77. 77.

    OzarkHillbilly

    @Steve in the ATL:

    Steve who doesn’t actually have a ski in/ski out chalet in Aspen

    And if you did you wouldn’t have one for long. One of the things the article notes was an increase in avalanches in the Alps. Which is interesting to me because my son just got back from over a week spent at 12,000’+ in the Colorado Rockies where he got caught in an avalanche (mid thigh deep, so scary but not necessarily life threatening). Something that never happened to me back in the 80s when I was doing that stuff.

  78. 78.

    MomSense

    @Steve in the ATL:

    Wait you were mocked here for that? C’mon Jackals of all the mockable things about Steve you pick that?!?!1!!?!1

    ?

    I don’t eat the stuff either.

    Pup is back at the clinic this morning for day two of treatment. I’m trying to be optimistic but I’m really worried. I haven’t let myself google success rates for dogs who have ingested Tylenol. Just hoping we caught it early enough. They left the IV line in and taped up her paw so it was terribly swollen this morning. She just looks at me like WTF are you doing to me. And I swear this dog is using ear sign language because her ears are taking positions I’ve never seen before.

  79. 79.

    OzarkHillbilly

    @Steve in the ATL: We eat pastured pork (I get from a friend) and chicken (I raise myself). I am looking forward to trying BK’s veggie whopper. I have to admit tho, I still have a weakness for the occasional rib eye or flank steak.

  81. 81.

    Kay

    @OzarkHillbilly:

    You have to train yourself out of it. It’s amazing how few questions a person actually has to answer. I found out nothing happens when you just don’t launch into your whole decision process. Women answer questions that aren’t even asked! I personally think it’s societal training. If there were some reward for this I could see it, but there isn’t. I had this moment of pure connection when Clinton said “what does it matter?” with Benghazi. That was true. She could explain until she passed out. The narrative around Benghazi was exactly the same before as it was after. The Iraq vote- she got savaged for not explaining. So arrogant. She must address this! Then she explained 5000 times. In what way did that matter?

  83. 83.

    JGabriel

    Dana Houle via Anne Laurie @ Top:

    Looking at my timeline about all that the Democrats are doing wrong again, and thinking how much worse it would be if the Dem presidential candidates had won the popular vote in only four and not five of the last six presidential elections.

    1992
    1996
    2000
    2004
    2008
    2012
    2016

    Actaully, Democrats won the popular vote in 6 of the last 7 presidential elections, albeit with a plurality instead of a majority in ’92, ’96, and ’16.

  87. 87.

    OzarkHillbilly

    @Baud:

    Sometimes the free market is on our side.

    Not in Arkansas, Missouri, Mississippi, Montana, S, Dakota and Wyoming, where meat just wants to be free from veggie alternatives.

  90. 90.

    Anne Laurie

    @Kay:

    It’s fucking ridiculous. She was a dedicated Muslim-smearer and terrorism fear-monger up until she decided to create a national profile and work against Democrats. There is nothing real about this person outside of malice.

    Don’t forget the vast social-media boost she’s getting from Putin’s little helpers.

    Vlad’s getting more sophisticated — rather than supporting *both* ‘Serious Government Professional’ Bernie and ‘Purity Princess’ Jill Stein, he’s combining the best of both appeals in Tulsi Gabbard. She’s an actual Congressperson (kinda), *and* the 4Channers and Cosplay leftists get aroused by her surfer-girl publicity photos!

  93. 93.

    MomSense

    @OzarkHillbilly:

    The snow has definitely changed in Maine. It’s all ice now. We may start with snow but it inevitably ends up as freezing rain or sleet. The climate models are pretty grim. The gulf of Maine is one of the fastest warming bodies of water in the world. Phytoplankton is being killed off by warm water, agricultural runoff, and acidification. It may be tiny but if you like breathing oxygen even in the Midwest, you may want to pay attention to this problem. Not you OH specifically. I know you are paying attention!

    I’m not sure what happens if the ocean conveyor keeps slowing but it won’t be good. More Greenland melting means more ocean conveyor slowing.

  96. 96.

    NotMax

    Busy, busy, busy, Doing all sorts of errands ‘n’ stuff. Trekked out 50+ miles from Mom’s place to pick up three dining room chairs* we had dropped off at a woodworker’s shop for repair last week. While out in the (relative) boonies, stopped at a farm stand where besides fruits and a home baked pie, she picked up a new plant to transplant into the big planter on her terrace. Far as I’m concerned, it was a real steal at 10 bucks.

    *Was a real puzzle to fit all three into the back seat of her Mazda 3, as they are all chairs with arms. Managed to do so, but there is only one configuration which works.

  98. 98.

    mrmoshpotato

    @NotMax:

    Far as I’m concerned, it was a real steal at 10 bucks.

    Bonus points if you hid behind the plant while stealing it.

  99. 99.

    Anne Laurie

    @MomSense: That’s terrifying for you — fortunately, less for her: She hates being uncomfortable, but she can’t worry like you are!

    Holding you both in the light…

  100. 100.

    Kay

    My daughter and son in law are having a baby so we’re all excited. I’ve redoubled my efforts to get them to move here. It makes a lot of sense and they know it. They have good jobs in NY and the pay is higher than it would be here, but expenses are higher, specifically, housing. In some ways it’s wash though, because the pay is substantially higher, but day care may tip the scales. She works for a surgeon, he’s Iranian although he grew up in England, and he and his wife and his 4 kids travel a lot. They ask her what she wants from wherever they are, and wherever they are this summer made them ask if she wants wine. She said “oh, I’m not drinking” and they were all excited- “we KNEW it!” Pretty observant, huh?

  101. 101.

    rikyrah

    @Kay:

    It’s just crazy that we have to have a Right winger who works against Democrats in our primary. One who doesn’t respond to requests for comment, except when Tucker Carlson or The Federalist asks, then she’s happy to talk

    SHE.IS.NOT.FROM.A.PURPLE.DISTRICT.

    DEMOCRATS CAN DO BETTER THAN HER.

  102. 102.

    OzarkHillbilly

    @Kay: I had a restraining order between my sons and my ex’s violent sociopath husband for a few years. At this one hearing they (he) had a lawyer (an oversized ego with a d!ck), I had a lawyer (a youngish woman) and there was the Guardian ad Litem (a middle aged woman). My ex was on the stand. Their (his) lawyer spent a good 20 minutes or more asking pointless questions designed only to get his sonorous voice out there for all to hear. Then my lawyer got up and asked a bunch of pointless questions designed mostly to make me think I wasn’t wasting my money. Then the Guardian ad Litem got her turn.

    GaL: “Where do your sons live?”

    Ex Wife: “With their father.”

    GaL: “Thank you.”

    And with that she sat down. All I could think was, “Damn, sure wish I could hire her.”

    And yes, the restraining order was renewed for another 6 months.

  103. 103.

    Betty Cracker

    The president of this crime-infested, shithole country tweeted the following this morning:

    Really bad news! The Baltimore house of Elijah Cummings was robbed. Too bad!

    There is no bottom, but there’s probably a tweet.

  104. 104.

    Kay

    @rikyrah:

    I can’t believe we have to have this committed anti-Democrat activist in the debates. I mean come on- “inclusive” is great but she’s launching anti-Democrat campaigns at the debate and then promoting them on Tucker Carlson. Can a GOP House member run in the Democratic primary, purely to launch attacks on Democrats? This has reached the point where it’s ludicrous.

  106. 106.

    Betty Cracker

    @MomSense: Best of luck to you and the pup. I’d be scared shitless too, but you’re doing the best you can for her, and that’s all you can do.

  107. 107.

    rikyrah

    @trnc:

    I can’t help but wonder if the open embrace of racism as a campaign strategy signifies that the Russians have told republicans they’ve improved their election tampering capabilities.

    Just wondering…you think he DIDN’T openly embrace racism in 2016?

  109. 109.

    OzarkHillbilly

    @Ken: From:

    A growing number of states have been passing laws saying that only foods made of animal flesh should be allowed to carry labels like “meat,” “sausage,” “jerky,” “burger” or “hot dog.”

    Who has a beef with this deal? Makers of plant-based foods, of course — like Tofurky. But also the American Civil Liberties Union. Both are in a coalition that this week sued Arkansas, arguing that the state’s new label restrictions — set to go into effect this week — censor speech and play favorites with industries. Similar lawsuits are pending against Missouri and Mississippi.

    Those are just three of the states that have passed laws restricting meatlike labels for vegan and vegetarian alternatives made of plants, as well as for lab-grown meat from animal cells. Others include Montana, South Dakota and Wyoming. In addition to the meat labels, Arkansas also decreed that “rice” made of plants like cauliflower or broccoli can’t be called “rice.” And Louisiana has added protections for crawfish, shrimp and sugar.

    To be honest, I have no problem with wanting the word “rice” to designate actual, you know, rice. Same for crawfish, shrimp and sugar. And “meat” well it should mean meat, ya know?

    But “sausage,” “jerky,” “burger” or “hot dog.” are not specific to meat. Sausage and jerky refer to the processing, a ‘burger’ is a patty (not to mention “hamburgers” contain no ham) and hot dogs are not made from actual dogs.

    Besides all of which calling a thing a “veggie burger” or “veggie dog” pretty much says it’s not meat.

  111. 111.

    Yarrow

    @Kay:

    This is (perhaps) cynical but I think it’s true. Harris knows that explanations don’t and won’t matter and that’s why she’s impatient with the demands to make them.

    When you’re explaining you’re losing.

  112. 112.

    Kay

    @Betty Cracker:

    Thanks. They’re accusing me of wanting a “family compound” which is true. That is what I want :)
    It makes a lot of sense! They’ll cobble together a life here. Please. It’s not that bad. She can get a farmette. What my husband calls ” 5 acres and a pond” which describes the thing perfectly. We’ll park “spare” cars behind her pole barn :)

    Doesn’t this sound GREAT?

  113. 113.

    EthylEster

    Can someone explain to me the meaning of the 3 question marks in the quote below?

    she went back with me ???

    There is so much I don’t get about Twitter.

  115. 115.

    Kay

    @Baud:

    They got genetic testing results online and the lab puts the sex behind an additional button, if you don’t want to know and would read it accidentally. They didn’t click on the button. I find that unimaginable.

  117. 117.

    Betty Cracker

    @Kay: I suspect family compounds are what many moms who are on good terms with their adult children secretly crave. It’s perfect — everyone can live independently and yet together! :-)

    Hope they’re also taking the free babysitting into account along with the cost of living. You can’t put a price on that!

  121. 121.

    Yarrow

    From the post up top:

    Looking at my timeline about all that the Democrats are doing wrong again, and thinking how much worse it would be if the Dem presidential candidates had won the popular vote in only four and not five of the last six presidential elections.

    I don’t understand this tweet. Democrats are doing it wrong if they don’t win the electoral college. May not like it but that’s the game we have to play. Winning the popular vote is a meaningless consolation prize. It doesn’t matter unless we win the electoral college. We can work to reform the whole dumb electoral college situation but until that happens we have to win it.

  122. 122.

    rikyrah

    @OzarkHillbilly:

    At the Blue Line, Steve steers clear of politics with his customers. He knows there are plenty of Trump supporters among his patrons. “They hate it that Letty’s gone. They think Letty’s one that needs to be here, but… They always have the ‘but’,” he said.

    If he doesn’t get why THEY are the problem…can’t help him.

  123. 123.

    rikyrah

    @Dorothy A. Winsor:

    I see only 7 candidates have qualified for the September debates so far, with three more close. If there are 10 or fewer, there’ll be only one night.

    The 7–Biden, Warren, Harris, Sanders, Buttigieg, Booker, and O’Rourke
    The 3–Castro, Yang, Klobuchaur

    honestly, only want Castro to make it

  126. 126.

    Kay

    @OzarkHillbilly:

    Well, not on demand. But I’m self employed and so is my husband and we could do one day each. Now we’re down to three days of daycare. Her husband works 4 10’s, a common schedule in his area of health care, so now it’s two. They can buy a piece from some of the farms that will be entering foreclosure here shortly, when the Trump Cash Bribe runs out.

  127. 127.

    Frankensteinbeck

    @trnc:

    I can’t help but wonder if the open embrace of racism as a campaign strategy signifies that the Russians have told republicans they’ve improved their election tampering capabilities.

    It didn’t mean that in 2018.

  128. 128.

    OzarkHillbilly

    @rikyrah: He knows they are the problem but he’s trying to maintain a business that is dependent on people of all political persuasions.

  129. 129.

    rikyrah

    @Kay:

    My daughter and son in law are having a baby so we’re all excited. I’ve redoubled my efforts to get them to move here. It makes a lot of sense and they know it.

    CONGRATULATIONS!!!

    I thought you were gonna become a grandma…but, I thought you’d have to travel to Europe to see the kid :)

  132. 132.

    rikyrah

    @Kay:

    They can buy a piece from some of the farms that will be entering foreclosure here shortly, when the Trump Cash Bribe runs out.

    Damn Kay…cynical much?

    Kay..just breaking it down like a fraction, as always.

  133. 133.

    Kay

    @OzarkHillbilly:

    It is a worry. I had a set schedule when I had little kids. She does not. If she goes into surgery she stays until it’s over and it can go LONG. I don’t know how any of them handle that. You go into work and you could be there 8 hours or…16. What?

  135. 135.

    Ken

    @Kay:

    Well, not on demand.

    It always starts that way. I once had a co-worker, an older woman who frequently watched her grandkids. She said they called her “Nana”. I couldn’t help myself, I asked if they were maybe saying “Nanny”?

  137. 137.

    artem1s

    @OzarkHillbilly: I think he owes Barrack Obama some money…

    So it’s not surprising then that they get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren’t like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations. [Obama]

    And Hillary Clinton…

    “You know, to just be grossly generalistic, you could put half of Trump’s supporters into what I call the basket of deplorables. Right?” Clinton said. “The racist, sexist, homophobic, xenophobic, Islamaphobic—you name it. And unfortunately there are people like that. And he has lifted them up.”

  138. 138.

    Amir Khalid

    @OzarkHillbilly:
    Also too, hamburger is named after the city of Hamburg; Hamburger is a German adjective that means of/from Hamburg, and doesn’t refer exclusively to ground beef. You could call a person a Hamburger to say they’re from there. You could, of course, also call them a hamburger to insult them; but that is another story.

  139. 139.

    Kay

    @rikyrah:

    The Denmark contingent are not having children. They say. I have never seen the slightest bit of proof my oldest son likes kids. He didn’t like kids when he was one.
    He loves his dog though and I wouldn’t have predicted that, so who knows. The dog cost ten times more to get to Denmark than the people did. They sent him thru a service that transports racehorses. Nothing but the best for that dog.
    They think the dog is calmer in Denmark than he was in Chicago. It’s quieter. They’re thrilled that the dog is acclimating. He is cute. I don’t even like dogs that much and I thought he was good company. I watched him when they traveled. He’s about as smart as a two year old.

  140. 140.

    OzarkHillbilly

    @Kay: It is hard, and expensive. My son and his wife are thinking about him being a stay at home Dad (she makes the big bucks). My wife wants to be the day care for her daughter and SIL when they finally manage it.

  141. 141.

    Gin & Tonic

    @Kay: I worked with a guy whose wife was a horsewoman, competed in some sort of events, dressage, maybe? I know zero about that shit. But she went to Denmark one year for a competition. With one of the horses, natch. I tried to get him to tell me how much that cost, he just said “whatever she wants….”

    Not only flying and vet clearances and all that other crap, but on the other side you have to rent a truck and a horse trailer, and heaven only knows what else.

  142. 142.

    Kay

    @OzarkHillbilly:

    It is hard. My assistant has 4 kids and a big local family and the only reason it works is “big local family”. Plus, her husband is a police officer and he can switch shifts. The other woman who works here is a single parent, she’s legal custodian of two of her drug addicted sister’s kids and her extended family is a disaster and it’s much, much harder for her. No help there. We can accommodate her a lot so we do- she’s great- a good fit- and they won’t be little long.

  144. 144.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @germy:

    That is utterly brilliant. I see from the comments that Tom Levenson is planning to front-page it here on Balloon Juice.

  145. 145.

    MCA1

    Can we have more of what Omar and Pelosi did? That is a pretty elaborate middle finger to Dotard and his complicit enablers, and I salute the gesture. Tremendous. I know it’s petty and small, but they’ve driven me to this. 10-12 years of advancing aggression in Republican application of Cleek’s Law has turned me into an “own the Cons” fan. Whatever it is that pisses off Republicans today is what I favor. Omar and Pelosi visiting Somalia has to needle the f out of Republicans. Good.

  146. 146.

    MomSense

    @Kay:

    Yes, that does sound perfect. I think my best chance at a grandkid or kids is my middle son who went to the dark side of work in finance. I don’t even need the five acres and a pond. I’ll take an in-law apartment and a raised bed garden.

  147. 147.

    Ixnay

    @MomSense: Absolutely. Can confirm over here on the West Coast (of Maine). Deep snowpack for the last couple months of winter, solidified by freezing rain, but on the plus side, you could ski (X-C) anywhere in the woods because the stumps, rocks, etc were all well buried. The north Atlantic conveyor has of course, been a worry for years.

  148. 148.

    Kay

    @Gin & Tonic:

    He is cute. He’s a herder so he has to take care of everyone. People come in and out of my house more than theirs and he gets exhausted. He flops down across the threshold of the door at night like “if they would just STAY PUT I could rest”

    He’s bossy and officious. Like a little general.

  149. 149.

    satby

    @OzarkHillbilly: you know, I mentioned it before, but in the early 80s I spent 18 months as a licensed PI in IL. I did mostly undercover drug investigation in hospitals and insurance fraud and I never felt the need for a gun either.

  150. 150.

    Kay

    @MomSense:

    Oh, I’m not living with them :) She knows that. That’s why she’s teasing me about the compound. I stay put in this scenario.

  152. 152.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Kay:

    My daughter and son in law are having a baby so we’re all excited.

    Congratulations, Kay! Lucky baby to have you as a grandma!

  159. 159.

    Steeplejack (phone)

    First day after surgery, which was more complicated than originally thought. I did a post-op comment night and stayed up way late, apparently riding some post-anesthesia high. Best sleep I’ve had in years.

    I’m feeling more pain today, especially twinges in my forearm when I do things with my hand or fingers. So I’m trying to be good about not typing much, so it’s voice-to-text and editing with a stylus on the phone. Slightly maddening.

    Thanks to everyone for your good thoughts yesterday. I think they really helped me get a good outcome. Now I just need to figure out how to wash while keeping the dressings dry.

  161. 161.

    Ruckus

    @Kay:

    Then she explained 5000 times. In what way did that matter?

    Your given that women explain, over explain everything. This made HRC just your average woman, somebodies wife, the girl next door. It took away the exceptionalism. I hadn’t seen it this way, I hadn’t noticed that women as a group over explain things and I don’t believe a lot do.

  162. 162.

    StringOnAStick

    @Steeplejack (phone): I have used a roll of shrink wrap to cover limb wounds and then taped either end and that works but you still don’t want to put it directly in the shower stream. You’ll get better at doing one handed stuff with time but forget trying to use a can opener or wrestling open a stuck jar lid for awhile. Fortunately skin heals pretty quickly.

    This year’s knee replacements had a waterproof bandage so I could shower immediately. They stayed in place for 15 days, though I felt better about that when I noticed a faint “ag” on the bandage, which meant it had a form of silver in the bandage to keep germs at bay. I suspect it’s a rather expensive bandage but I didn’t have to wrestle on a waterproof sleeve to take a shower like a friend of mine did. The first few weeks you are quite sore and getting that sleeve on would have be eye-crossing.

  163. 163.

    Steeplejack (phone)

    @StringOnAStick:

    Thanks for the advice. Longer comment in a bit. I have to make coffee and then do voice to text and stylus editing. Time-consuming.

  165. 165.

    mrmoshpotato

    @EthylEster: The text-only mobile(phone) version of Balloon Juice doesn’t use emoticons, so show up as question marks.

    I clicked on the tweet’s date to see it on Twitter’s site, and apparently those 3 question marks are really a brown-skinned, clenched fist emoticon.

  166. 166.

    J R in WV

    @OzarkHillbilly:

    And what about all those cartons of beverage with labels like “milk” this and that “milk” which have never been near a mammal — not a cow, nary goat, etc, etc.

    Muscle Milk (this product contains no milk)

    Do not like. Almond Beverage, that’s fine. Muscle Milk, not so much. Faux crab, also!! It needs to have the Faux part bold and larger than the Crab part.

    Will also state that I read the ingredients list on some faux meat at the grocery, and it was mostly cellulose – wood. I’m OK with vegetables made into meat, but chemically processed sawdust, again, not so much as in FUQ NO!

    Anyone who thinks eating hyper-processed wood is healthier and less harmful to the planet than eating processed muscle and fat from a mammal, I doubt that. Chemical plants don’t make healthy food. Not healthy anything, actually.

  167. 167.

    J R in WV

    @MCA1:

    Omar and Pelosi visiting Somalia has to needle the f out of Republicans. Good.

    They’re visiting Ghana, in West Africa, where many captured and kidnapped Africans were shipped out as freight to the Americas. Not Somalia, in East Africa, where kidnapped Africans were shipped east into Asia and India and Arabia. Somalia isn’t nearly as safe to visit as Ghana.

  168. 168.

    Steeplejack

    @StringOnAStick:

    Thanks for the advice! I’m a bit late getting back to you, because I kept getting interrupted by phone calls, including the surgeon doing her post-op follow-up.

    I think I can wrestle some shrink wrap onto my arm well enough to protect that, and I don’t think I need to do anything to the one on my shoulder. It’s pretty well taped down on all sides (clear plastic tape) and is hard for me to reach anyway. I think Monday or Tuesday I’m supposed to take off the gauze bandages and let the wounds air out a bit, then rebandage the arm and just put a (big) drugstore Band-Aid on the shoulder. I think I can reach well enough to do that.

    As for one-handed stuff, the housecat was very concerned about my condition until I demonstrated to her that I could hold a can of cat food in the palm of my right hand and pull off the tab with the left hand. Crisis averted! Whew.

  169. 169.

    acallidryas

    I will max out my donation to the first major candidate to say that hardcore gun people are insane weirdos who can only get aroused at the thought of shooting a home invader, and no one needs to respect them or care about what they think

    Surprisingly, this donation goes to 2008 Joe Biden: https://youtu.be/nkavwuWE5eQ

  170. 170.

    trnc

    @rikyrah:

    Just wondering…you think he DIDN’T openly embrace racism in 2016?

    HE absolutely did, but the campaign often tried to walk it back or claim that it wasn’t really racism. Now, according to the article, they’re actively pumping it.

  171. 171.

    trnc

    @Baud:

    Do you really think Tulsi is an upgrade to Bernie?

    Errrr, no. I don’t get the reference, so I’ve clearly missed something.

  172. 172.

    trnc

    @Frankensteinbeck:

    It didn’t mean that in 2018.

    How feasible would it have been during the midterm? There’s a lot more bang for the buck manipulating the vote for prez than a bunch of house races.

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