Dildos for Ireland Or the Ivory Phallus of Trallee: Operation Ireland’s Dildo Is a Go!

Welcome to Balloon Juice After Dark!

You don’t see this every day! (h/t: Charles Pierce, who should definitely be hired to moderate a one of the Democratic primary debates!)

Open thread!






72 replies
  1. 1
    Elizabelle says:

    There’s just something … inspired about following a story about Lindsey Graham with a story about an ivory dildo.

  2. 2
    Gin & Tonic says:

    @Elizabelle: Serendipity.

  3. 3
    Mary G says:

    An elephant died for that.

  4. 4
    Sctrojan90 says:

    Glad to see the model was jewish.

  5. 5
    Kattails says:

    Sorry, I’m going to need a few minutes to take this in before I can possibly comment.

  6. 6
    Miss Bianca says:

    I am at a loss for virtual words. I think it’s time for an episode of “Misfits”.

  7. 7
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @Sctrojan90: Please see Ann Laurie on the Mezzanine Level to collect your prize.

  8. 8
    Jim, Foolish Literalist says:

    speaking of old white dildos…

    Twitler’s Sixty Minute Hate getting very little coverage on twitter. Apparently he stuck to the teleprompter.

    TelePrompTers are good now.

  9. 9
    Quinerly says:

    I love this post.

  10. 10
    Yarrow says:

    Seems like in that last photo she should have been yelling, “Holy fuck!” instead of “Holy shit!’

  11. 11
  12. 12
  13. 13
    Steve in the ATL says:

    @Yarrow: well played

  14. 14
    Quinerly says:

    “According to Matthew Fine Art Auction, the sex toy was carved out of ivory in the 18th century and sent from China, where its owner was fighting in the 1899 Boxer Rebellion, to his wife in Ireland.” 

    “I guess that was just a thing that people did back then when they weren’t sure if they were going to come home,” Scott said. 

    It’s a 130 years old!!!

  15. 15
    Quinerly says:

    She got the deal because it was ivory and original American buyer couldn’t get it in the country.
    “I thought, ‘Oh my god, I think it’s the same dildo,'” she said. 

    Scott says that the original buyer was likely unable to bring the piece to the U.S. because of an Obama-era ban on ivory imports, meaning she was able to buy it at a bargain price.” 
    ****
    Next time I think about buying an ivory dildo, I’ll remember Obama. And step away. Even if it is a deal.

  16. 16
    JGabriel says:

    Quinerly:

    “According to Matthew Fine Art Auction, the sex toy was carved out of ivory in the 18th century and sent from China, where its owner was fighting in the 1899 Boxer Rebellion, to his wife in Ireland.” …

    … It’s a 130 years old!

    And, assuming Matthew Fine Art was accurately cited, someone there needs to learn that the 18th C. ended in 1799 or 1800 (depending on whether you go by the astronomical or Gregorian calendar).

  17. 17
    The Dangerman says:

    I think we need a scale for perspective here (i.e., as Donnie knows, not every ruler has 12 inches).

  18. 18
    SRW1 says:

    I am scandalized! I thought this was a family blog!

    Where’s my fainting salt?

  19. 19
    Quinerly says:

    @JGabriel: I realized the math error after my comment time elapsed. Math is hard.

  20. 20

    Now that’s what I call a respite thread

  21. 21
    Another Scott says:

    Good news.

    In more good news, The Monster Raving Loony Party pushed the UKIP candidate into sixth place.:

    The Conservatives have lost a closely-fought Brecon and Radnorshire parliamentary by-election.

    Lib Dem candidate Jane Dodds overturned an 8,038 majority to beat Chris Davies by 1,425 votes.

    Mr Davies stood again after being unseated by a petition that followed his conviction for a false expenses claim.

    Labour were beaten into the fourth place by The Brexit Party.

    It was the first electoral test for new prime minister Boris Johnson.

    […]

    It leaves the government’s working majority cut to just one, including its confidence and supply partners.

    […]

    Poor, poor Boris.

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  22. 22
    Quinerly says:

    @TaMara (HFG): Silverman came through for us.

  23. 23
  24. 24
    Yarrow says:

    @Quinerly: I clicked through to that article. At the bottom there are links to other “related” articles. One is about these brothers that did a ‘rude trip’ of U.K. towns with naughty names. Names like Titty Ho, Lickfold, Pound Bottom. The photos of the brothers by the signs are funny.

  25. 25
    JGabriel says:

    @Quinerly:

    I realized the math error after my comment time elapsed.

    Ah, been there, though for me it’s usually a grammatical error or a skipped word.

  26. 26
    satby says:

    I bet Helen misses being in Ireland now. Think of the national celebrations.

  27. 27
    Martin says:

    Trump just announced we’ll be curing childhood cancer soon. Why do I have a feeling that means deporting all of the sick children?

  28. 28
    Kay says:

    Jim Acosta
    @Acosta
    · 3h
    Scuffle breaks out in Trump crowd after protesters held up “immigrants built America” sign. Trump supporters tried to rip the sign out of their hands.

    Another super-fun and upbeat gathering of the Trump Administration and their supporters.

  29. 29
    Amir Khalid says:

    @Yarrow:
    How well does the US do in terms of naughty-sounding place names? Please share any good examples.

  30. 30
    Kay says:

    @Martin:

    “We’ll”. Like the collection of bottom of the barrel hacks in his employ had anything to do with it. They probably denied visas to researchers.

  31. 31
    Ken says:

    @Another Scott:

    its confidence and supply partners

    What do those terms mean? I guess they refer to the smaller parties that are part of the coalition? I’m finding “supply partner” especially opaque.

  32. 32
    dmsilev says:

    @Amir Khalid: Famously, Blue Ball Pennsylvania is just down the road from Intercourse.

  33. 33
    lamh36 says:

    So I got 2 free days w/my Marriott points at the hotel in Paris for my birthday trip to Paris this November. It’s a fairly new Courtyard hotel, but the reviews were good and the rooms are “American” sized rooms. Plus literally minutes away from the subway/train station and centrally located so that we could hop on PT to get to sites! All in all I’ll have to pay no more than $813 for the 4 days that I’m not using points for!

    My sis is going with her husband too but they are getting a seperate room. Unfortunately I can only do one room at a time…and only standard rooms. She and her husband will have to pay the regular rate or when it gets closer hopefully find a low cost prepay on Hotels or one of the other sites. But hey, it’s my birthday trip …so it’s only right I use the certificates for my stay

    At first, I was trying to look at hotels closer to the Eiffel or the Arc, but after trying to find a hotel in San Franciso for this trip in September (so damn pricey!! thank goodness we’re splitting the cost”), I needed to not have to worry bout that shit for my birthday trip…smh

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/bab9384d883e1430c454acbdfed29439fe77bf569c2f2f33524917abbc2dff0f.gif

  34. 34
    Chetan Murthy says:

    @Ken: Confidence and supply

    In a parliamentary democracy based on the Westminster system, confidence and supply are required for a minority government to retain power in the lower house.

    A confidence-and-supply agreement is one whereby a party or independent members of parliament will support the government in motions of confidence and appropriation or budget (supply) votes, by either voting in favour or abstaining. However, parties and independent members normally retain the right to otherwise vote in favour of their own policies or on conscience on legislative bills.[1][2][3]

    A coalition government is a more formal arrangement than a confidence-and-supply agreement, in that members from junior parties (i.e. parties other than the largest) gain positions in the cabinet, ministerial roles and may be expected to hold the government whip on passing legislation.

  35. 35
    chris says:

    @Kay: There was a good Qanon turnout so he’s got that going for him too.

  36. 36
    Yarrow says:

    @Amir Khalid: I found this list but overall I think the UK has a much better selection.

  37. 37
    SRW1 says:

    @Quinerly:

    From the article:
    “Shawna Scott bought the Victorian-era sex toy at auction so she can donate it to an Irish museum”

    So, the museum is now well-endowed.

  38. 38
    BR says:

    I remember a week ago someone was asking what to do with their retirement account rebalancing and I had said sell everything now and wait for a while. It’s still early in this correction, so if you haven’t yet, now is the time. The question of how long to wait before buying again is not clear. If you are managing long-term retirement funds, then your best bet right now is an annuity or the equivalent, and get out of any stocks for a while (possibly even a couple of years). If you are more of an active investor, maybe things will stabilize in a month or two, but who knows with Brexit looming. In any case, there are a lot of hidden financial risks right now that are underappreciated, and as people have often said, it’s mom-and-pop investors who are left holding the bag at turning points like this.

  39. 39
    mrmoshpotato says:

    *looks at first tweet*
    *sees picture*
    *let’s out George Takei-like “Oh my!”*

  40. 40
    Keith P. says:

    I bet somebody tries to sniff that thing.

  41. 41
    mrmoshpotato says:

    @Quinerly: We all need a moment to appreciate a headline with “Antique dildo” in it.

  42. 42
    Honus says:

    Finally a happy ending

  43. 43
    mrmoshpotato says:

    @SRW1: Mods! Where’s the B-J fainting couch these days?

  44. 44
    Ken says:

    @Chetan Murthy: Thanks. So is “coalition” the wrong term for the relationship between the Tories and the DUP?

  45. 45
    Steeplejack says:

    @JGabriel:

    The dildo might have been 100 years already when the guy sent it back in 1899.

    (First comment after surgery today, and I can’t believe I started with this.)

  46. 46
    Another Scott says:

    @BR: I’m reminded of another discussion [board] that I’ve frequented for many years. [A friend there] was convinced that getting out of the stock market in ~ December 2008 made sense…

    Telling people to “sell everything” is irresponsible, especially when you’re not saying when you think someone should get back in.

    Dollar cost averaging is your friend. Sensible diversification is your friend. Knowing the importance of time horizons is important. Spreading panic on discussion boards is not.

    My $0.02.

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  47. 47
    mrmoshpotato says:

    @dmsilev: Not 8 miles apart. Blue Ball! 7.9 miles from Intercourse!

  48. 48
    Anonymous At Work says:

    DNC could bury the RNC under an avalanche of money if they had Chuck Pierce moderate a debate and sold tickets. I figure Fenway would be sold out ten times over to accommodate the crowd. (I’d say Foxborough but I imagine too many would refuse to pay anything in the direction of Tom Brady…)

  49. 49
    Wapiti says:

    @JGabriel: iirc from my history (ie, reading Flashman novels), during the Boxer rebellion, the British forces sacked the Summer Palace of the Chinese emperor. They destroyed a huge amount of priceless antiquities, but looted a lot that ended up going to England. So the dildo could have come from there in 1899, but been carved in the 1700s.

  50. 50
    mrmoshpotato says:

    @Steeplejack: Well, your first comment was going to be on some post! 😁

  51. 51
    rekoob says:

    @BR: Another approach would be to consider a Charitable Remainder Trust or other Gift Annuity. While you may not be able to save much on fees (though I haven’t looked at it closely), the advantage is that for those with charitable intent, there are tax incentives and general well-wishing to be had along with attractive returns (versus most current fixed-income securities). Not suitable for everyone, but worth a look for anyone who wants to give to a beloved cause.

  52. 52
    lamh36 says:

    Off to bed soon, but 2 things before I do.

    First, if ya’ll recall, I was supposed to have a phone interview for a job last month. the call was supposed to happen the Wednesday when all the Hurrican Barry overreacton was happening. I had heard from the recruiter that said anything about it being cancelled, but I figured it would be since so much weather stuff was happening. So 1pm rolled around and no call from the recruiter. 1:15…1:30…1:45…2pm came by and not one call or emai from the recruiter.

    So ok…I figured maybe the recruiter had Barry-related weather issues. I wasn’t sure what to do, but my sisters convinced me to reach out the recruiter (via email…I never had her number). I send a very nice, email hoping that all was well with the organization and with her…and that I appreciated being offerred an interview and that I look forward to speaking with her at a better time, just reaching out to make sure everything was ok.

    Well she never got in contact with me, it’s been bout 3 weeks. Not one word or correspondence or reply to my email…NOTHING. The job is still listed (30+days now). SMH

    I’m still pissed about it

  53. 53
    BR says:

    @Another Scott:

    Ok, sure, but Dec. 2008 was a time when the market had lost over half its value and we were in the deepest recession in a generation. Not a good comparison to today. Right now we’re at a wildly overvalued market, with a bunch of other warning signs saying that it’s a good time to take money out of the market. The risk for doing so is very low, so it’s the opposite of irresponsible — the worst case with selling everything is that you sit on some cash for a while and don’t make marginal returns, but so what. The more likely case is that you avoid losing any gains that you’ve gotten over the last few years. So I’d call this less panic and more prudence, but YMMV.

    Hussman lays out some of the data in a useful way:

    https://www.hussmanfunds.com/comment/observations/obs190714/

    Personally I’m waiting for the end of the next recession or slowdown to reinvest. If we do get a recession soon (and we’re on the verge, but we may just get a “slowdown” rather than a recession), then waiting until the recession is over is a reasonable approach. If we don’t get a recession, then we can just watch the macro indicators as they cover over at Bonddad’s blog:

    http://bonddad.blogspot.com/

    I tend to prefer dollar cost averaging during normal times and then waiting out recessions. Sure there are sometimes sharp rallies during downturns but there are also sharp drops, and I don’t have the time or ability to time those wild oscillations.

  54. 54
    Another Scott says:

    @Wapiti: IrishCentral:

    The precious artifact, crafted in China in the late 1800s out of ivory dating back to the 1840s, […]

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  55. 55
    Steve in the ATL says:

    @lamh36:

    the rooms are “American” sized rooms

    This is important, as Parisian hotel rooms are typically tiny

    The Eiffel Tower is not near a bunch of things you want to see, so skip that area for hotels.

    The Arc is at the far end of the Champs Elysee, but there are many decent small hotels close to it, mostly a little south and east. My gripe with that area is that it’s too touristy.

    The Marais and St. Germain are my favorite areas to stay.

    Paris is compact and walkable, and the metro is everywhere, so any area in the city of Paris is ok to stay in (like everywhere in the world, the suburbs are boring). And it’s the greatest city in the world, so you’ll have a great time no matter what!

  56. 56
    lamh36 says:

    Final thought is a repost, cause I’m not sure who saw the post from earlier this today

    Work related good news. My young coworker came through her battle. She woke up about a week ago and moving and even talking as much as she can with the trach tube. They brought her down to the lab in a wheelchair she looked very good she recognized everyone and she waved and responded

  57. 57
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @Steve in the ATL: St. Michel is also nice to stay in. Or was when I was there in 1995.

  58. 58
  59. 59
    Steve in the ATL says:

    @Adam L Silverman: it is indeed, and is right next to St. Germain. Some parts of it can be loud, though, with all the kids and their rock music and alcohol and aids in the fountains.

    And the best French fries in the world come from Greek take away shops in St. Michel.

  60. 60
    Steeplejack says:

    @mrmoshpotato:

    True. Point taken.

  61. 61
    frosty says:

    What a hoot! Great story, great ending!

  62. 62
    Ken says:

    @Steve in the ATL:

    The Eiffel Tower is not near a bunch of things you want to see, so skip that area for hotels.

    Nonsense. In every Paris-set movie I’ve seen, the Eiffel Tower is right outside every hotel window, so the hotels must all cluster around it. For that matter it’s visible outside every window, so all of the other tourist attractions must be close to it.

  63. 63
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @Steve in the ATL: Actually, I sit corrected, we stayed at a hotel in Boulevard de la Madelaine.

  64. 64
    MisterForkbeard says:

    @lamh36: Wow! So glad for her and her family. Hope she continues to get better, and it’s nice to have GOOD health news around here sometimes.

  65. 65
    Steve in the ATL says:

    @Ken: c’est vrai!

  66. 66
    Felanius Kootea says:

    @lamh36: That’s a good deal! Man I’m jealous. My husband and I stayed at a hotel near the Jardin du Luxembourg for our honeymoon years ago. I loved that area. It was walking distance from the French Senate, the gardens and Saint Sulpice (I’m not going to lie, I first learned about and was inspired to visit that church after reading the Da Vinci Code).

    Make sure to get ice cream from Berthillon (the one in Ile St Louis). Definitely worth it.

  67. 67
    JaySinWA says:

    Silverman sends unsolicited (fake) dick pic. Shame. //

  68. 68
    sm*t cl*de says:

    Just saying, antique ivory dildo was a fake.

  69. 69
    sm*t cl*de says:

    Useful Twiddle thread here:
    https://twitter.com/FernRiddell/status/1156141536956026881

    Expert’s conclusion: It’s a fake. Though a well-executed one. Hence the reappearance at auction, at a fraction of the original price.

  70. 70
    Gvg says:

    @lamh36: see if the recruiter is still at the organization. He may have been fired or quit or out sick and too often the email addresses don’t get forwarded. No response to multiple inquiries is kind of unusual and if the job is still posted it doesn’t make sense. Try a company directory maybe?
    And inquire of someone else at the company.

  71. 71
    Quinerly says:

    @Yarrow: 💚

  72. 72
    Mary Ellen Sandahl says:

    @Yarrow: Place names in the UK are a damn interesting field of study — genuine University scholars devote their careers to it. It involves serious linguistic/historic/archeological chops, but I’m sure one reason some of them get into it is that the effects of Celtic-to-Latin-to-AngloSaxon-to-Old-Norse-to-Norman-French layering and misunderstanding and mispronunciation has produced a lot of very amusing results.

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