Scotian’s GoFundMe

*** UPDATE ****

We blew past the mark, and I can not thank you all enough.


Hey folks work out the details for with Scotian and is significant others, and here it is:

To cover medical and death costs from sudden pancreatic cancer diagnosed 2 weeks after spending the prior 18 months caregiving for father while his cancer killed him. 2 weeks before he died I was diagnosed stage 4 pancreatic cancer that already was in my liver meaning I was terminal, not curable. I found out at the end of May, dad died 2nd week of June, so it hasn’t been 2 months since I got this news. I have at best the rest of the summer if I am really really lucky. I and my wife are long term disabled, and lack resources. Ideally I am trying to raise enough to cover my end of life costs, arrangements, and leave some for my wife to be able to grieve for both dad and me. Anything anyone is willing to give for that end would be truly appreciated.

I set the target as a minimum from what I know for the cremation fee and such, I simply do not know the real costs well enough to do more than that. In a few days I will more completely fill in my story, be warned, it isn’t pretty. Over the last 26 months if it wasn’t bad luck I was having it was no luck was so true it is scary.

Thank you all for your time in reading this, and especially to those who wanted me to set something like this up so they could help, it is hard to ask for this kind of help, but needs must when the devil drives.

i wish there was something I could say or do that would change this.

103 replies
  1. 1
    Ruckus says:

    i wish there was something I could say or do that would change this.

    We all do.
    There never is.
    Many of us have been in a position of when things go wrong they all go wrong and they all go wrong at once. All we can do is plow through and do our best. Sometimes that’s good enough and sometimes it isn’t. Our time here is short, even though some days feel like forever. We enjoy the good times with everyone, because not everyone has them at the same time. We help with the bad times because sooner or later it will be our turn.
    Peace be to Scotian and his wife.
    And to anyone else going through tough times.

  2. 2
    SWMBO says:

    @Ruckus: Immanentize and eric are also in our thoughts. Peace and comfort to all who are weary and need respite care.

  3. 3
    Jharp says:

    Kind of makes dealing with the racist fuck in the White House small potatoes.

  4. 4
    feebog says:

    My younger brother is also fighting liver cancer, so this hits home. We got this juicers.

  5. 5
    OzarkHillbilly says:

    Gave what I can.

  6. 6
    tokyokie says:

    Is he old enough to qualify for Medicare? If he is, it should pick up most of the expense of hospice care.

  7. 7
    OzarkHillbilly says:

    @tokyokie: He’s a Canadian. Not sure how it works up there.

  8. 8
    RepubAnon says:

    I had a friend whose Dad passed from pancreatic cancer – and then found that he, too, had pancreatic cancer. It’s a real hammer blow. His kids are getting tested to see whether they have a genetic predisposition to this ugly cancer as well.

    My heart goes out to Scotian.

  9. 9
    Another Scott says:

    @tokyokie: Nova Scotia, and he lost his Canadian insurance.



  10. 10
    Mary G says:

    Love this community. Gave my mite, hope some peace of mind about finances will help Scotian and his loved ones.

  11. 11
    chris says:

    @tokyokie: @OzarkHillbilly: There will be some incidentals but he’s covered.

  12. 12
    tokyokie says:

    @OzarkHillbilly: Duh. I should have realized that from his nym.

  13. 13
    chris says:

    @Another Scott:

    he lost his Canadian insurance.

    No. He lost his disability claim, whatever that was. Canadians can’t lose their medical coverage, it’s universal.

  14. 14
    OzarkHillbilly says:

    @Another Scott: I missed that. How’d that happen? (if I can ask)

    @chris: Ah.

  15. 15
    MisterForkbeard says:

    Thank you John. I was waiting for this.

    There’s not much I can do to help Scotian, but I can give something here

  16. 16
    JPL says:

    @OzarkHillbilly: I was surprised at the small amount and then remembered he’s a Canadian.
    A friend of mine decades ago was attacked by a dog and one of her surgeons was a Canadian. He returned to Canada shortly there after but told her before he left that our hospital costs are ridiculous.

  17. 17
    Spanky says:

    Just a heads up to us in the US: Your donation will be taken in Canadian dollars, so if you donate, your credit card will be debited ~$76 for every $100 you chip in.

    So if you’re weighing whether of not to bump up, ….

  18. 18
    JPL says:

    this site attracts the most amazing folks and I count Scotian/David as one of them .

  19. 19
    Ruckus says:

    We are over half way there.

  20. 20
    Spanky says:

    @Ruckus: Usually not too many people on-line on Sunday evening. It’ll pick up overnight.

  21. 21
    mrmoshpotato says:

    @Spanky: Thanks for the info. Bumped up.

  22. 22
    Kristine says:

    @Spanky: And you may get a call from your debit card security department asking about recent Canadian charges.

  23. 23
    zhena gogolia says:

    Is there any way to send a check? It wouldn’t take my credit card for some reason. I tried twice.

  24. 24
    Spanky says:

    @Kristine: Yep, although mine texted me, which is a big improvement over simply freezing the account until I called them. That was always fun on vacations.

  25. 25
    Spanky says:

    @zhena gogolia: You with your Russian bank accounts. //

  26. 26
    zhena gogolia says:


    I guess it went through now. I don’t know what the problem was.

  27. 27
    Sloane Ranger says:

    Just done my small bit.

  28. 28
    Kristine says:

    @feebog: Best wishes for your brother.

    So many people going through so much heartache. I wish there was a way to make it stop.

  29. 29
    MomSense says:

    Lets do this!

  30. 30
    OldDave says:

    SWMBO and I donated. Wish we could do more.

  31. 31
    lurker dean says:

    @zhena gogolia: i got a decline on my credit union card. i didn’t realize this is for canada. i’ve noticed in the past my credit union card is very strict, if they see an out of country transaction they auto decline unless i’ve pre-notified. i then tried with a card from a big bank and it went through. maybe try another card if you have one.

    @Spanky: great point that i didn’t realize.

  32. 32
    dr. bloor says:

    Done. Have a safe and comfortable passage; we’ll all be joining you to blog some more shit in a cosmic wink of the eye.

  33. 33
    NeenerNeener says:

    BOA bounced the service charge but let the donation go through, then sent me an email about suspicious activity. I approved everything, so I hope they approve the service charge now.

  34. 34
    O. Felix Culpa says:

    Balloon Juice folks is good people. Nearly 80% of the way to goal for Scotian/David. Also thinking of Imm and Immp and eric and emma and raising a glass to everyone’s health and well-being.

  35. 35
    frosty says:

    Kicked in a contribution. No problem with the card ‘cause I already told the bank that we’d be in Canada this week.

    My best to Scotian/Dave.

  36. 36
    JeanneT says:

    I’m glad to donate my bit – I have recently been reminded how quickly the NON medical expenses mount up when in the midst of a crisis followed by a chronic medical problem. It’s a challenging journey, but maybe this will help take some of the worry out of the final goodbyes.

  37. 37
    Raven says:


    I was helping a neighbor move a couch this morning and she asked what my retirement plans were and if I was nervous. I told her I was planning as much as I could and that I knew social relationships were important. I mentioned that I was part of an online community and she said “oh, you know those are not really a social relationships.

  38. 38
    Joy in FL says:

    I just made a small contribution. This fund is an act of kindness in a place of great sadness.

  39. 39
    SFAW says:


    “oh, you know those are not really a social relationships.

    Well, considering what anti-social a-holes some of us are, she might be right.

    Speaking only for myself, of course.

  40. 40
    Immanentize says:

    No one is ever fucking “covered.”

  41. 41
    RAVEN says:

    @SFAW: I’m actually very social. When I went through counseling when I quit drinking we decided I drank and drugged to slow down to be with people!

  42. 42
    Wolvesvalley says:

    More than 90% there. Let’s blow right through that goal.

  43. 43
    Madeleine says:

    I added my bit.

  44. 44
    chris says:

    @Immanentize: True, but I meant it strictly in the sense that his insurance cannot lapse. That doesn’t happen here.

  45. 45
    RedDirtGirl says:

    Dear David,
    I am holding you and Siobhan in the light, and have gladly chipped in on the costs. I hope this can bring you some peace.

  46. 46
    Another Scott says:

    @chris: Sorry for my mis-remembering/mis-interpretation. Thanks for the correction.


  47. 47
    Ben Cisco says:

    Scotian, I’m so sorry. Love this community for reaching out though. This place played no small part in my admittedly ongoing recovery. There is a strength here to be admired.

  48. 48
    Ladyraxterinok says:

    @SWMBO: What’s happened to them? Haven’t been reading regularly for a while.

  49. 49
    HeleninEire says:

    We’ve surpassed the goal by more than $1,000. Good on us.

  50. 50
    TS (the original) says:

    @Ruckus: You are all the way there – what a wonderful group of people

  51. 51
    JanieM says:


    oh, you know those are not really a social relationships.

    I’ve been reading BJ regularly for less than four years, and I’m sure I’ll never stop feeling like a newcomer. Besides that, most of the time I lurk. Not to mention that I’ve been trying to cut down on the amount of time I spend refreshing browsers, i.e. diddling away time online. And not to mention further that I just retired (although I find that word problematic) and am facing the challenge of finding some new meat space involvements after years of letting them dwindle away on the excuse that I was away so much for work that I just didn’t have the continuity to keep them going.

    And most worrisome of all, I’m so crabby so much of the time these days that I often remove myself from even reading blog discussions, much less joining them, just to get away from my own bad temper, never mind everyone else’s.

    With all that in the background, I just have to say out loud what a phenomenally amazing community this is. The jackal collective blew through David’s goal in barely two hours, with no sign of slowing down.

    Love and peace to David and his family as they navigate these rough waters. The money can’t take away the grief and pain, but hopefully it will take away some of the worry.

    And — love and peace to all you amazing, generous jackals as well. You are an unbelievable bunch.

  52. 52
    J R in WV says:


    not really a social relationships…

    Yeah, right.

    Already past the amount requested, well past. Thanks all you jackals!!!

    What a swell social group !!

  53. 53
    eric says:

    @Immanentize: i saw what you and imp did….you are mensches both. hope you are well. Emma is home and having a good week before doing the crappy chemo again on friday.

  54. 54
    chris says:

    @Another Scott: You’re welcome. Sorry if it sounded a little snappish, we Canadians are very protective on the subject.

    Also, wow! What a fine bunch of jackals!

  55. 55
    Immanentize says:

    @eric: Well I will be at B&W surgery center Friday. Hanging around a totally drugged out fellow. Keep on, Emma!

    By the way, as my uncle often said, “Ever see a hearse with a U-Haul?”

  56. 56
    Comrade Colette Collaboratrice says:

    Well, jackals are pack animals. When they want to be.

  57. 57
    seefleur says:

    I can’t donate until the middle of the week, but Scotian, I am so very sorry for the cards you got played. I wish there was more that I could do. I’ll do my small bit and meantime am sending you all the light and love that I can for both you and your family.

  58. 58
    Kristine says:

    This jackpack is amazing.

  59. 59
    Ohio Mom says:

    @JanieM: Don’t be a lurker, stay with us. Follow Scotian’s example and drop the rest of the internet. You can be crabby, you won’t be the only curmudgeon here.

  60. 60
    Steeplejack says:


    Hope you dropped the couch on her foot.

  61. 61
    Raven says:

    @Steeplejack: She wasn’t being mean she, along with plenty of other people in my life, don’t get it. Sometimes I feel funny because I try to contribute to everything I can here (even cats) when there are plenty of needs right here.

  62. 62
    Scotian says:

    Just to explain, I set the initial target because I know how much my cremation costs are. There is more to this but it is aimed at nest egging Siobhan for a bit after I die as well as the death and dying costs so she can grieve after watching her FiL and husband die hard deaths. That is why I will update the GFM to explain the reasons why I have to ask. I’m doing all of this off my phone in a hospital bed.

    Now, for tonight, I have only one thing to say…THANK YOU!!!!!!!!

    I would never have believed this speed of response, the last 26 months have left me very despairing. You have already by the actions already taken restored hope to me and Siobhan, and helped me hold on to my faith in the hearts of good people, which you all are.

    John Cole, you are a good man, I can never thank you enough for giving this visibility as I am a social media autistic, as in you ARE my social media to the extent I have any. I never did Twitter or Facebook so I would have had a hard time getting any real notice were it not for you. That is the action of an honourable man who leads an honourable community, which as I noted before was why you were the one blog site I kept when the family nightmare began for me. Here my intellect, my character, and my sense of decency were fed, and those sustained me during dark hours, yet none more than these.
    You deserve as loud a shout-out as I can manage for that so here it is.

  63. 63
    JanieM says:

    @Ohio Mom: Thanks for the encouragement. I don’t see how I can stop hanging around here; it’s where I get most of my headlines. ;-)

    P.S. I grew up in Ohio, but if I remember where you are, it was the opposite corner from you (northeastern). I’m at home and well planted in Maine after 32 years, and intend to stay here, but I can still navigate the streets of my home town with my eyes closed. And it does have its beauty (it’s on Lake Erie), and a lot of memories.

  64. 64
    HalfAssedHomesteader says:

    Peace to you, David MacDonald.

  65. 65
    Zelma says:

    So sorry for your suffering, Scotian. I am glad if the Balloon Juice family – and we are a weird family – can help in some small way. Peace be with you.

  66. 66
    Nicole says:

    @Scotian: Glad to have been able to contribute a wee bit to Siobhan’s time to grieve, and it’s a real testament to the good person you are that you are doing your best to provide for her time ahead. Thinking of both of you.

  67. 67
    OldDave says:

    @Ladyraxterinok: SWMBO is currently inspecting the inside of her eyelids. I’ll let her know of your question when she awakens.

  68. 68
    Steeplejack says:


    Yeah, I know. Joking.

  69. 69
    MomSense says:

    Oh you beautiful Jackals! Imm and Immp – bless you!

    We are rooting for Scotian and Siobhan, Immp and Imm, Eric and Emma, Leto and Avalune, Keith P,and all the other Jackals who may not be sharing their struggles.

  70. 70
    Elizabelle says:

    @Scotian: You are such a graceful man. We wish we could fund your return to health. Any little bit we can do for you and Siobhan.

  71. 71
    satby says:

    Dang jackals, blew past the goal before I even saw the post. And I’m in as soon as I make my bank deposit tomorrow.

    @Scotian: If this helps just a bit to ease some of your worry for you and Siobhan, we’re so grateful you gave us the chance to be there in more than spirit.

  72. 72
    satby says:


    We are rooting for Scotian and Siobhan, Immp and Imm, Eric and Emma, Leto and Avalune, Keith P,and all the other Jackals who may not be sharing their struggles.

    Truth. lamh and her Maddie too!

  73. 73
    HinTN says:

    @Scotian: Thank you for sharing YOU. It’s so easy to retreat into anonymity when faced with existential trauma. I credit Cole for nurturing this community. We’ve laughed, we’ve cried, we’ve lived his and our life transformations. This is as much a community as any meat space group. As I said in my donation, fair skies and following seas. Peace

  74. 74
    Ruckus says:

    @J R in WV:
    Let’s check this out.
    We sometimes dislike some of the group. Check.
    We often truly like some or most of the group. Check.
    We talk about BS and about important things. Check.
    We often form friendships in meat space, some from around the world. Check
    We worry about others in the group. Check.
    We help when we can if someone is in trouble. Check.
    We discuss food. Check
    We discuss gardening. Check.

    I think that’s enough checks. This is a social group, just as much as any old ladies sewing circle. It might not have started that way (it did) but it is now.

  75. 75
    HinTN says:

    @Ruckus: 👍❤🧚‍♂️😸 CHECK and double check

  76. 76
    zhena gogolia says:


    Well said.

  77. 77
    Ruckus says:

    I was once being thrown from my motorcycle, 3 days after a major earthquake that destroyed my business, by a coyote who was also scarred by that earthquake and the after shocks and right into the path of an oncoming truck. Which hit me head first. So when I say that I’ve been hit by a truck, I really do know what that’s like. But while injured, I walked away from that.

    But we all come to a point that we can’t walk away. I thought as I landed on the road watching those headlights come at me that this could quite possibly be the end. It obviously wasn’t. But we all get to that time. We don’t like to talk about it, we sure as hell don’t want to go through it, it’s different for all of us but it’s also the same for all of us. We just rarely know when or how. My sister had cancer and 3 days before she went she had surgery to find out where the cancer had spread. Everywhere was the answer. She put herself in hospice. A lot of her friends were pissed off at that, she must be insane we have to declare her incompetent and get her treatment. That pissed me off. They didn’t have to live with that cancer. They hadn’t gone through the chemo, twice. They hadn’t been the one that the doctors had to inform.
    We all go through this in our own way, some get notice, some get hit by a truck. Which isn’t very much notice BTW. A lot of people won’t talk about this because it is scary and because we do not want to hear ever hear it. I have no answer other than to say I’m sorry. I’m sorry that you have to go through this, I’m sorry that there is nothing left to do. I’m sorry that your wife has to go through this. I’m sorry that your wife is losing as well. And I’m sorry that this is a part of life.

  78. 78
    Ohio Mom says:

    @JanieM: Yup, the only body of water near me is the Ohio River. It does not compare to a Great Lake. Or the beaches of Maine.

  79. 79
    Spanky says:

    @Ruckus: You left out pets!!1!

  80. 80
    Steeplejack says:

    @zhena gogolia:

    Re Grantchester (no spoilers below!):

    I liked the episode tonight pretty well after being dissatisfied with the two-hour season opener last week. Still not out of the woods yet. I feel like a lot of stuff is being thrown against the wall to see what sticks and to set up “arcs” going forward. I guess we’ll see next week how the new guy fits in.

  81. 81
    zhena gogolia says:


    Yes, we’re rather dissatisfied. Too much in the brew. I don’t think they’ve thought enough about continuity from last season. It’s as if Amanda never existed, for one thing, or Margaret.

    I’m skeptical about the new pretty boy, but I guess I have to give him a chance. Loved Geordie’s new suit, though.
    ETA: BTW, it could have been called “Leonard and Geordie are at odds about a case.”

  82. 82
    Renie says:

    This is a great community. I mostly lurk but this blog, twitter and yes I will admit it, Farmville, I visit all daily. I love reading everyone’s comments and insights and enjoy John’s stories. I still laugh every time I think of John’s post “Legend of Shitmas 2016″where he tried to give Steve a bath. No one can convince me this isn’t a group with social relationships. Helping each other out as we are helping Scotian now – that’s what it means to be friends.

  83. 83
    SWMBO says:

    @Ladyraxterinok: Eric’s daughter is in chemo and Immanetize’s son Immp was diagnosed with stomach cancer.

  84. 84
    Ruckus says:

    I left out a lot of things.
    I never said it was a comprehensive list.

    We talk about pets. Check.
    We complain about details. Check.
    Happy now?
    Of course how would we know if it was a social group if we didn’t complain about the details

  85. 85
    Ruckus says:

    You are a part of the bunch as well. You don’t lose a seat at the table just because you don’t show up every day, that’s not the schedule and there are very few rules and that isn’t one of them. The schedule is however often you want to be here.
    I’d bet I can speak for a lot of us however that we’d like to see you here as often as you can. We’ve determined that this is a social group with few rules and unlimited seating.
    Please join in, the more the merrier.

  86. 86
    Steeplejack says:

    @zhena gogolia:

    “Leonard and Geordie are at odds about a case.” LOL. Perfect.

    I didn’t like the way they ushered Sidney out—I was pretty much incredulous—and, yeah, you’re right about Margaret and especially Amanda.

    The thing that really bugged me tonight was Leonard’s moment of indiscretion with [can’t remember his name]. C’mon, man! That felt very ham-handed.

    I did like the way Georgie and Leonard “worked” together, although a little bit of that goes a long way. Hope they don’t push it too hard.

    ETA: Geordie really did look a decade hipper in that new suit.

  87. 87
    JanieM says:

    @Ruckus: Thanks. :-)

  88. 88
    Chacal Charles Calthrop says:

    not processing my card, will try again tomorrow

  89. 89
    TomatoQueen says:

    @Steeplejack: Glad I’m not the only one disappointed by the departure of Sidney episode. This round is quite a bit better in expanding smaller roles to larger–but give up on my girl Amanda and my arms are folded.
    Meanwhile, what an amazing bunch. I’m getting a bit of dubious response so will try again in the morning also, I assume the bank is having a hissy.

  90. 90
    Cathie Fonz (formerly Cathie from Canada) says:

    John, thank you so much for setting this up and notifying everyone about it.
    Scotian, may you be half an hour in heaven before the devil knows you’re dead! You have made such a great contribution to Canadian blogging, and your comments on so many Canadian political and social issues have always been so thoughtful and kind. We will be thinking of you and your family.

  91. 91
    JAFD says:

    For when the One Great Scorer comes
    To mark against your name,
    He asks not if you won or lost,
    But how you played the game.

    God bless you, David.

    If you’ve been wondering about me: Have been feeling better lately, been trying to get out and walk a mile a day – but not in this heat, estivating this past week. Looking forward to the meetup Saturday. Made a contribution to the gofundme, hope it helps.

  92. 92
    Aleta says:

    @Scotian: You’re so right, and so well spoken about J. Cole. it’s a rare talent that can create a community that keeps on like this *; while somehow setting the most lowkey example there could be of how to make new people welcome on principle. It’s a deep thing to me (cause I don’t have it). I guess he was raised right no matter what he says about his elders : ).

    *and on the fcked-up fking internet no less)

    I think you’ve a warm intelligence too.

    Last August my good friend was diagnosed with inoperable pancreatic c that was already advanced in her liver. There was no good prognosis, but in the 8 months she unexpectedly had, she somehow continued to influence the people at the care center where she was living. Your influence on so many of us here is a very generous thing to give. Thanks for including us.

  93. 93

    I’m so sorry to read this. It’s at least nice to see our fellow jackals blew past the fundraising goal before I even saw this post, but dammit, I wish there were something we could do to stop this from happening, dammit. It sucks.

    You and Subaru Diane will be in my thoughts, in any case, Scotian. I’m not sure if it’s a worthwhile use of my efforts to throw more dollars at the fundraising efforts after we’ve already blown past the goal, but keep us posted on how we can help.

    Ceterum censeo factionem Republicanam esse delendam.

  94. 94
    zhena gogolia says:


    Daniel. Yeah, of course Mrs. M (C) just never barges into the kitchen unexpectedly!

  95. 95
    zhena gogolia says:


    Just so you know — Scotian’s Siobhan (in Nova Scotia) isn’t the same as our Siubhan Diunne, who’s in Atlanta.

  96. 96
    Steve in the ATL says:

    @zhena gogolia: have you ever seen them both in the same room at the same time?

    I didn’t think so.

  97. 97
    SiubhanDuinne says:

    @zhena gogolia:
    @Steve in the ATL:

    But I’m still happy to be in (((Cassandra Leo)))’s thoughts!

  98. 98
    TerryC says:

    @JanieM: Jamie, et al., in terms of meatspace friends, and community there is nothing out there more friendly and welcoming than the Frisbee Golf (Disc Golf) community.

    Six thousand plus courses in the US and everyone’s ready to be friends with every new golfer in an amazingly egalitarian way.

  99. 99
    JanieM says:

    @TerryC: TerryC — this made me chuckle, because on the face of it Disk Golf is so very very not me, and/or vice versa. But I will put it on my list of things to check out. It looks like there are a couple of courses within easy reach, so who knows! Old dogs, new tricks — some new tricks for this old dog would be very welcome right now.

  100. 100
    The Very Reverend Crimson Fire of Compassion says:

    I fucking love y’all

  101. 101
    Ruckus says:

    That’s the current amount.
    All of you, that’s – I’m finally speechless.

  102. 102
    Scotian says:

    Me too Ruckus, me too!

  103. 103

    @zhena gogolia: Oh, LOL. I missed that somehow. In my defence (sort of?), Celtic (?) names kind of break my reading comprehension, and I didn’t even process the spelling difference. Also, more importantly, I haven’t been around much lately, for a variety of reasons, chief among them being that I’ve been trying (with mixed success) to take a step back from obsessive news consumption because it was probably worsening some of my anxiety issues. With that has come a vastly reduced presence here and at LGM. Anyway, thanks for the clarification.

    @SiubhanDuinne: Good to know :) I think I missed when you moved to Atlanta, though I did know you were moving back stateside at some point. I still have a soft spot for Atlanta, despite the corruption of Georgia’s current government – I spent the first five years of my life there and retain fond memories of the place, including from subsequent visits. (Since we live in southwest Florida, Atlanta is not too far out of the way during virtually any trip we make out of the state to a locale on the Atlantic coast, and given that the airlines have ruined flying, we mostly travel by car, especially now that we have an electric.)

    Ceterum censeo factionem Republicanam esse delendam.

Comments are closed.