Does This Thing Still Work?

Spent the last 50 hours with intermittent power and cell service, and no internet or television. Read a couple books and did a bunch of things, but mostly I slept because I have had a low level cold/flu that is getting consistently worse. I just slept from 6:00-9:30, and now I am nauseous and feel like I might shit myself while simultaneously having chills with cold and clammy skin and hot flashes. Is this ebola?


110 replies
  1. 1
    Steve in the ATL says:

    It is Ebola? No idea, but it’s certainly TMI!

    Now, I’m going back to the “my blackout was better than your blackout” thread

  2. 2
    SiubhanDuinne says:

    Read a couple books


  3. 3
    Spanky says:

    Apparently you went to Kroger.

    The authorities may be looking for you.

  4. 4

    @Steve in the ATL: The oldies of Balloon Juice argue about the weirdest of things.
    JGC@top are you having hot flashes?

  5. 5
    Jean says:

    If it’s Ebola, you only have a few days left on earth, after which your cell service/power will return!

  6. 6
    SiubhanDuinne says:

    @Steve in the ATL:

    That was MY blackout, just so you know.

  7. 7
    NotMax says:

    Can’t lay this at the feet (fins?)) of Raven’s unfrozen fish.


  8. 8
    NotMax says:

    Someone has to say it.

    Is this ebola?

    Nope, it’s e-bola.

  9. 9
    Spanky says:

    now I am nauseous and feel like I might shit myself while simultaneously having chills with cold and clammy skin and hot flashes. Is this ebola?

    Did you eat unfrozen fish for lunch after that discussion this morning?

  10. 10
    Spanky says:

    I guess we shouldn’t expect answers.

    Cake or Death

    Following Following @Johngcole
    Lmao my fucking internet and cable went out again

    10:28 PM – 13 Jul 2019

  11. 11
    NotMax says:

    Currently writing “Will not pedant about nauseous” 100 times.


  12. 12
    Geoboy says:

    Many years ago, National Lampoon magazine published a table of the common recreational drugs and the effects of ingesting various combinations. The entry for taking PCP and speed togtether read “You experience symptoms not unlike bubonic plague. Raging fevers, epidural bleeding. You almost die. Snakes arrive. Then you die.” Is it possible that this could explain what you’re going through?

  13. 13
    Barbara says:

    Your writing style certainly doesn’t lack for, umm, colorful detail. Have you been taking a correspondence writing course?

  14. 14

    It could be malaria or typhus.

  15. 15
  16. 16
    The Dangerman says:


    Read a couple books


    John Cole has no more “of’s” left to give.

  17. 17
  18. 18
    Mai Naem mobile says:

    Did you eat chicken? I think chicken is at the root of a majority of food poisoning. Drink Gatorade. Can’t hurt.

  19. 19
    Jay says:

    Symptoms of Ebola do not include intermittent power and loss of cell service.

    #First World Problems

  20. 20
  21. 21
    Barbara says:

    @Mai Naem mobile: Chicken, shellfish, and fruit that has already been cut up by third parties.

  22. 22
    Aleta says:

    food poisoning? fluids, electrolytes, probiotics

  23. 23
    jl says:

    I diagnose Cole with the galloping fantods, and severe progressive crud. Hydrate and rest. Keep rapid egress corridors to the toilet. Tell the animals not to eat you if you die, since you carcass may be tainted by the crud.

    I’ll send Cole the bill via email, high importance, all caps, with many exclamation points. Payable upon receipt. I don’t accept live chickens or roadkill.

  24. 24
    SiubhanDuinne says:

    @The Dangerman:

    You make me chuckle.

  25. 25
  26. 26
    jl says:

    I did not know Cole had the patience to read through a whole book. I thought he said once that he got grumpy about something in all them and quit. Was Cole funning when he said that?

    What books did Cole read?

    Anyway, hope Cole is through the worst of it and feels better soon.
    Cole’s family needs to do a welfare check on Cole soon. Make sure the Cole animals are extra well fed.

  27. 27
    Spanky says:

    @Mai Naem mobile: No no. Raw spinach is the winner, I think.

  28. 28
    Spanky says:


    I did not know Cole had the patience to read through a whole book. I thought he said once that he got grumpy about something in all them and quit. Was Cole funning when he said that?

    What books did Cole read?

    Maybe he got sick on the Green Eggs and Ham.

  29. 29
    jl says:

    @Jay: Fresh ramps are OK. Not sure Cole’s stomach is up to processing that kind of payment at this time, being down with the crud and all.

  30. 30
    jl says:

    @Spanky: Green Eggs and Ham, and funky fruit jam?
    How long did he cook that stuff before he put it up in jars? Any of them blow up yet?

    I am mightily carnsarned about Cole’s delicate health.

  31. 31
    Jay says:


    Arn’t ramps out of season?

    I’m afraid that all that’s left is maybe jam.

    Decks are expensive.

  32. 32
    NotMax says:


    Uh-oh. Brand spanking new supermarket here about to open (1½ times the size of the one it is replacing) is touting “a fresh-cut room with in-store prepared cut fruit and vegetables.”

    So old can remember when the location being closed was first constructed.

  33. 33
    RAM says:

    Plague. Definitely plague. Keep us updated.

  34. 34
    Amir Khalid says:

    It sounds like you have contracted the dreaded lurgy, o Blog Lord.

  35. 35
    RandomMonster says:

    Pedantic asshole alert: Cole, you want to say you’re nauseated, since you’re feeling nausea and not inducing it. (Though maybe as an aging white dude like myself, you feel like you induce it often, too.)

  36. 36
    chopper says:


    it’s not a tumah!

  37. 37
  38. 38
    normal liberal says:

    All kidding aside, the only flu indicator you didn’t mention was fever – everything else is pretty classic. Fluids, all the rest you want, aspirin for muscle aches, and so on.

  39. 39
    Steeplejack says:


    My nearby go-to grocery is closing in early August (local chain being sold), and supposedly a Giant is opening there in early September. The old place was solid but could have used an upgrade, so that’s cause for optimism. But I’m a little ambivalent, because the two other Giants I know around here are nothing to write home about.

  40. 40


    I don’t accept live chickens

    You’re obviously not a real doctor.

  41. 41
    Jay says:


    Live chickens beat dead chickens like a full house beats a pair.

  42. 42
    dr. bloor says:

    Interesting symptom picture. How are you fixed for leeches just now?

  43. 43
    oatler. says:

    Felix Unger shares your concern.

  44. 44
  45. 45
  46. 46
    Jay says:




  47. 47

    Have we talked about that garbage Buttigieg article the New Republic ran and yanked yesterday?

  48. 48
    Mai Naem mobile says:

    I think people who buy cut up fruits and vegetables are lazy. Maybe if you’re having a party and need a ton but day to day? Why? And more importantly you risk food poisoning. Dumb and expensive.

  49. 49

    @Major Major Major Major: That’s was the biggest piece of garbage I’ve ever read. Disgusting

  50. 50
  51. 51
    FlyingToaster says:

    @Major Major Major Major: That was my first e-mail this morning, guaranteed to raise the blood pressure.

    Unfortunately, I won’t pay for shit like the New Republic, so they don’t give a fuck what I think.

  52. 52

    @TaMara (HFG): how does something like that make it past an editor?

  53. 53

    @Cheryl Rofer: quite quickly. In between me opening the tab and me reading it, in fact.

  54. 54
  55. 55
    FlyingToaster says:

    @Mai Naem mobile: It’s the go-to thing for after-recital receptions. But one picks it up on the way to the recital, so it doesn’t have a chance to develop anything funky (hopefully).

    We always bring Polar Seltzer, because I don’t trust Whole Foods that much.

  56. 56
    SiubhanDuinne says:

    @Major Major Major Major:

    That just about made me throw up. I don’t care if they pulled it two minutes after posting it. Fucking disgraceful.

  57. 57
    NotMax says:

    @Mai Naem mobile

    More people not schooled in the basics of how to choose fresh fruits and veggies than you might think.


    Passed by the new building just the other day. It’s yoo-oo-ooge. Internet tells me 57,400 square feet. New development on former sugar cane land, so on the plus side looks to be more than ample parking, for a change. Also supposed to include a separate “fueling station,” which I guess must mean part gasoline, part electric. Also as it sits on what’s now the far outskirts of town, I won’t have to encounter in-town traffic and traffic lights.

  58. 58
    mrmoshpotato says:


    Maybe he got sick on the Green Eggs and Ham.

    Why is the ham green!?!?

    I can pass on the eggs since the yolks of hard boiled eggs have a greenish outside, but what’s with the moldy-ass ham? What’s wrong with it, Sam You Are?

  59. 59
    NotMax says:


    You can thank Prohibition, which is what drove Polar to switch from selling liquor to selling bottled non-alcoholic beverages.

  60. 60
    Steeplejack says:

    @Major Major Major Major:

    Dale Peck is a professional shit-stirrer. He’s like the lit-crit version of Milo. All of his pieces are sort of like this, although this one turned it up to 11.

  61. 61
    Omnes Omnibus says:


    I don’t accept live chickens or roadkill.

    In that case, you’ll get nothing and like it.

  62. 62
    frosty says:

    @Steeplejack: Who’s getting replaced? Giant PA and Giant MD are (were?) two different companies but very similar. Except Giant PA doesn’t sell my Luzianne coffee. Somehow Giant PA is now selling beer and wine. Woe to the beer distributors and state stores.

  63. 63
    Mike J says:

    @Major Major Major Major:

    how does something like that make it past an editor?

    How many clicks did it get?

  64. 64
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @RAM: Plague is unlikely. You get that inoculation in the army.

  65. 65
    Steeplejack says:


    Sounds good. My place would be internal improvements only, I think. It’s in an established strip center with no room to expand. But they could do a lot to improve the space usage. I just don’t trust boring old Giant to pull it off. The one over by Sighthound Hall, in an upscale area, sucks bigly. The vibe is like one step above food-desert bodega.

  66. 66
    NotMax says:

    @Omnes Omnibus

    Triggered a dim memory from a 1950s promotional film about the ‘new’ supermarkets and food about how now chicken was no longer just for “that special Sunday supper” anymore but was available at a price affordable enough to serve any day of the week.

    Incidentally, a place in Mom’s town which has been there forever still slaughters and processes live chickens in the back area of the shop.

  67. 67
    Yutsano says:

    @NotMax: Sounds suspiciously like a Costco.

  68. 68
    NotMax says:


    my Luzianne coffee

    Chicory withdrawal symptoms?


  69. 69
    Steeplejack says:


    Shoppers Food Warehouse is the local chain that’s being sold, disbanded or something. One cryptic story in the NoVA Business Blab a couple of months ago, not much information since then. I heard about Giant from a friend who read something in some other biz mag. I found out that the current store is closing August 3 from one of the clerks the last time I was there.

  70. 70
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @SiubhanDuinne: The claim that it was primarily intended as satire is remarkably similar to the right-wing habit of saying something appalling and then when people call them out say that it was a joke and liberals have no sense of humor hehe.

  71. 71
    rikyrah says:

    Feel better, Cole😢😢

  72. 72
    NotMax says:


    It’s a Safeway (same as the one it is replacing). Impossible for me not to pass it on the way back home after going to Costco, so will be handy for some purchases.

  73. 73
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @NotMax: Good memory or bad? If good, you are welcome. If bad, my apologies.

  74. 74
    Redshift says:

    @normal liberal:

    All kidding aside, the only flu indicator you didn’t mention was fever – everything else is pretty classic.

    Chills alternating with hot flashes sounds like a fever to me. (Speaking from experience during a bout of food poisoning a couple of weeks ago.)

  75. 75
    NotMax says:

    @Omnes Omnibus

    Totally neutral. What stuck with me was the given implication that up until then chicken was still considered a special or rare purchase for a home prepared meal.

  76. 76
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    Wait, there is a musical of Anastasia? And it has been out long enough that a traveling version is going to be in Madison later this month?

  77. 77
    L85NJGT says:


    Roasted Okra seeds.

  78. 78
    Redshift says:

    @frosty: I checked, Giant is just one company. Whether they sell beer and wine is just dependent on state law. (They do in Virginia, too.)

  79. 79
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @NotMax: I was not prepared for that answer.

  80. 80
    Steve in the ATL says:

    @Major Major Major Major:

    Have we talked about that garbage Buttigieg article the New Republic ran and yanked yesterday?

    I don’t believe anyone here has talked about, or likely even thought about, the New Republic in years. Man, did that ever turn into a garbage publication.

  81. 81
    frosty says:

    @NotMax: Still getting it in MD. Had a bad moment during Katrina though when the shelves were empty. Found out it was because it was on sale that week. Whew!!!

  82. 82
    normal liberal says:

    I did wonder about that, but I was looking for mention of a spiking fever, aka the point at which a medical professional should be consulted.
    Years ago I spent two weeks with H1N1; an early symptom was discovering I was too weak to stand. I spent the first week asleep pretty much nonstop, and it was months before I was completely over it. I hope Our Gracious Host (hat tip to Charles Stross) avoids all of that.

  83. 83
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Steve in the ATL: I have to confess that a week or so ago I mentioned that there was a time in the ’90s when I had subscriptions to TNR, The Nation, and The Economist at the same time. It probably explains a lot.

  84. 84
    SiubhanDuinne says:

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Not one fucking thing funny, or sarcastic, or sartirical about that filth. They can try to justify it any way they want, but it is fucking garbage.

  85. 85
    frosty says:

    @Redshift: They must have merged or gotten bought up by the same conglomerate. It was Landover Giant and Carlisle Giant 15 years ago. And I still need two bonus cards (WE TRACK ALL YOUR PURCHASES!!11!!111)

  86. 86
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @SiubhanDuinne: Hey, I am on your side here.

  87. 87
    normal liberal says:

    Back in the 1920s my grandmother was routinely irritated when the minister and his wife would come for Sunday dinner and inhale enough chicken to sustain them for days. The very refined Mrs. Minister would make repeated requests for a serving of chicken bosom. My father may have identified these dinners as a first step to eventual atheism.

  88. 88
    SiubhanDuinne says:

    O/T, and I’m fully aware I’m far from the first, but I would just like to say a hearty “Fuck you to hell and gone, Maureen Dowd.”

  89. 89
    Redshift says:

    @frosty: Interesting; I didn’t know that.

  90. 90
    Ninedragonspot says:

    @Major Major Major Major: TNR =====> DNR

  91. 91
    SiubhanDuinne says:

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Hey, I am on your side here.

    Absolutely. I never thought otherwise, and I’m sorry if I gave the impression that we were at odds.

  92. 92
    Redshift says:

    @normal liberal: Yeah, I never had a fever high enough to worry about during my thing. He ought to check his temperature to be sure, though.

  93. 93
    Yutsano says:

    @NotMax: I tend to limit Safeway to small necessity purchases. Over here they’re the more expensive option so popping into the local chain works better for the main shopping runs.

    Having said that, Safeway fried chicken is excellent.

  94. 94
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @SiubhanDuinne: Okay then.

    Next question: Why the fuck was I not made aware of Hazel English until this fucking week?*

    *Not specifically aimed at Subaru Diane since this isn’t really her bag.

  95. 95
    NotMax says:


    Yeah, mostly small purchases there for me as well. Can only hope the new one has better space for those waiting at the register. Floor space between the conveyor belt and the grocery endcaps in the store which is closing is about 6½ feet, so there’s perennial traffic problems.

    Safeway fried chicken is excellent

    It can really, really vary from store to store.

  96. 96
    NotMax says:


    True story.

    There was a certain canned product which I liked and bought regularly at Safeway, as they were the only supermarket in town which carried it. Then one day the shelf was bare. Same on the next trip.

    I went to rustle up the store manager and innocently and politely inquired when they were expecting more. His answer? “Oh, we no longer carry that – it sold so fast we could never keep it in stock.”

  97. 97
    Ruckus says:

    Well if you were like my grandma who lived in south central LA and whose entire back yard was for crops or chickens, you didn’t need to purchase chickens. And was it ever fresh. She’d wring the chicken’s neck and when it stopped running around, pluck it, dress it, and then cut it up for frying. A little disturbing when you are 7 but good chicken.

  98. 98
    Ruckus says:

    Now that sounds like Safeway.

  99. 99
    Steeplejack says:


    Since you live near me, you might be interested in this.


    In April 1998, Richfood Holdings Inc., a regional wholesale distributor, purchased Dart Group in order to acquire Shoppers, later selling or spinning off Dart’s other operations. SuperValu acquired Richfood Holdings in 1999, also largely in part to acquire the Shoppers brand, which was by then the third largest supermarket chain in the Washington, D.C., region in sales and volume.

    In 2018, United Natural Foods acquired SuperValu (including Shoppers) in order to obtain the wholesale operations of the company. They had little inclination to continue to operate the retail business and sold off the many of the retail assets. All Shoppers stores are expected to close by early 2020.

    This has some of the murkiness of the article I read a couple of months ago: no mention of whom the retail assets were sold to, whether they were sold as a group or as individual stores, etc.

    I didn’t know a lot of the history of Shoppers. Looks like another case of bidness geniuses killing a golden goose. I hope the stores come through unscathed or improved.

    I think down in Alexandria you’re all Whole Foods and Trader Joe’s, right? Do they even allow ordinary groceries there? //

    P.S. Amazing that there’s a Wikipedia article for almost every damn thing.

  100. 100
    Steeplejack says:

    @normal liberal:

    Odds are in the 1920s the minister was paid next to nothing. Pre-prosperity gospel. They probably had to chow down to survive.

  101. 101
    Steeplejack says:

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    You need to keep up with your Modern Dandy subscription.

  102. 102
    NotMax says:

    @normal liberal

    LOL. I do love her calling it chicken bosom.

  103. 103
    NotMax says:


    A time when the campaign slogan “A chicken in every pot” carried real resonance.

  104. 104
    mrmoshpotato says:

    @SiubhanDuinne: But but but “Donald the Dove, Hillary the Hawk” Yeah, to hell with Maureen Dowd.

  105. 105
    Steeplejack says:


    Somehow this jogged my memory: This morning I saw some snippet from (I think) a Clinton-Trump debate where Trump said that if he were president Hillary would be in jail. It struck me because (a) it has been forgotten (by me, at least) in the torrent of other bullshit over the last three years and (b) I can’t believe no one thinks to ask the MAGAts why Hillary hasn’t been prosecuted yet for her many crimes.

    I think this is where it ties into the whole QAnon “Shit is going to be happening real soon now!” thing, but I don’t follow that closely enough to be sure.

  106. 106
    aaron says:

    Is this Ebola?
    Take this simple test:
    1. Do you watch fox news regularly?
    No: you don’t have ebola.
    Yes: you have ebola.

  107. 107
    Steeplejack (phone) says:


    Ha. Palm Beach $$$ guy I haven't spoken to for years just texted me out of the blue. "Why hasn't anybody figured out Trump and Epstein had a falling out because Jeffrey wanted to **** Ivanka?"

    — Rick Wilson (@TheRickWilson) July 11, 2019

  108. 108

    @Steeplejack (phone): Nah, by the time Trump and Epstein had their alleged falling out, Ivanka was too old for Epstein.

  109. 109
    Mel says:

    @Barbara: Yes, yes, a thousand times! Who knows where the hands and utensils and packaging that have been all over that precut fruit had been beforehand? You can wash off an orange or an apple, but good luck with that slice of cantaloupe that has been stewing under plastic, in a bacterial slick for two days.

    I worked in a grocery store deli / produce section one summer when I was in high school. Suffice it to say, that’s an experience that will change one’s shopping habits in a hurry.

  110. 110
    Just One More Canuck says:

    @Spanky: or One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish

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