Open Thread: Trumpocalypse, Naw

… “They started this too late and everyone has plans already,” said Dan Eberhart, a Republican donor and CEO of the drilling services company Canary, LLC. “Everyone will be there in spirit, but in reality, people planned their July 4th activities weeks ago.”

Less than 36 hours before the event, White House aides were crafting Trump’s speech, while administration and RNC officials finalized the guest lists.

A White House official declined to explain the system for handing out tickets or the various tiers of VIP access, except to say the reserved seating area — extending from the steps of the Lincoln Memorial to the middle the reflecting pool — will feature veterans, Trump family and friends and special guests. The first lady, vice president and second lady, and a number of Cabinet officials are expected to attend, as well as several senior White House officials — though the aide stressed this, too, was still coming together.

“They are creating this thing from scratch, and I do not know if anyone knows how it will go off,” said another White House aide. “There are questions about the ticket distribution and who will show up. The weather might be bad. Heads are spinning.”…

The Trump event has caused tension throughout Washington during what is a typically a quiet vacation week. Congress is on recess and many D.C. residents typically use this stretch of time to escape D.C.’s humidity…


Those who can skip out, are skipping:






72 replies
  1. 1
    trollhattan says:

    “This is my tank and this is my gun.
    One is for fucking up the Pennsylvania Avenue pavement and the other is for…fucking”

    I can’t even with these people.

  2. 2
    a thousand flouncing lurkers was fidelio says:

    Stromboli has erupted. At least one death.

  3. 3
    tobie says:

    I don’t want to take attention away from the topic of the shit-show parade but we now have another shitshow crisis on hand. According to the Post, the DOJ has done an about-face based on Trump’s tweet and will try to include the citizenship question in the census afterall.

    In a course reversal, a Justice Department attorney on Wednesday said the government is looking for a way to add a citizenship question to the 2020 Census, one day after it said it would drop that effort and was printing the form without it.

    Fuck!

  4. 4
    trollhattan says:

    Can we add a photo of Trump in the firetruck up top? Will he forget the lessons of Dukakis and climb into a turret?

  5. 5

    What’s he going to do if nobody shows up? Insist that his paid liars lie about how many people show up would be my guess. I wonder though if he counts people there to protest against him…

  6. 6
    hells littlest angel says:

    So the VIP section is going to be Sarah Palin, Jacob Wohl and Ted Nugent?

  7. 7
    Mary G says:

    This clusterfuck is going to be awesome. It’s a relief that generals are not rushing to attend and that there was resistance from them. The talking points crack me up. No bitching about your lost leave!

  8. 8
    David 🎅🎄Merry Christmas🎄🎅 Koch says:

    Weather Underground forecasts: 1/2 inch of rain tomorrow, from noon to midnight

  9. 9
    germy says:

    @Smedley Darlington Prunebanks (formerly Mumphrey, et al.):

    I wonder though if he counts people there to protest against him…

    If that’s the case, then the giant inflated trump baby should count as (at least) ten or twenty people.

  10. 10
  11. 11

    .@stavridisj says “the military people, to do this they have to give up their Fourth of July… they would rather be having a beer and having barbecue like the rest of the country” #AMRstaff

    — Andrea Mitchell (@mitchellreports) July 2, 2019

    When you’ve lost Walter CronkiteAndrea Mitchell…

  12. 12
    hilts says:

    Trump’s penis envy has gotten completely out of control and we’re worse as a nation because of it.

  13. 13
    tobie says:

    @Cheryl Rofer: Thanks, Cheryl. I’m amazed at how quickly you and the other front pagers are able to digest the constant avalanche of breaking news.

  14. 14
    mrmoshpotato says:

    The Kremlin’s bitch had damn well enjoy his bouncy castle.

    Damn shame we can’t raise taxes just on the 77 thousand purity morons and Hillary haters to pay for this shit show. (All of it from 1-20-17 to…)

    Hope they’re having a great time with their rainbow-farting unicorns.

  15. 15
    Jager says:

    @trollhattan:

    He couldn’t get in.

  16. 16
    Yutsano says:

    Less than 36 hours before the event, White House aides were crafting Trump’s speech

    Fruitless endeavour is fruitless.

  17. 17
    Mike in NC says:

    Patti Davis (daughter of Ronald Reagan) had a very good op-ed in USA Today about Fat Bastard’s preposterous salute to himself.

  18. 18
    mrmoshpotato says:

    @David 🎅🎄Merry Christmas🎄🎅 Koch: Maybe the Soviet shitpile won’t show up. We all know he doesn’t like to get Comrade Ferret on his head wet.

  19. 19
    trollhattan says:

    @Jager:
    Good point.

    If he tried really, really hard and got halfway in, could he get out?

    I have an idea….

  20. 20
    mrmoshpotato says:

    @Mike in NC: Link to the The USA Today?

  21. 21
    Anne Laurie says:

    @tobie:

    I don’t want to take attention away from the topic of the shit-show parade but we now have another shitshow crisis on hand. According to the Post, the DOJ has done an about-face based on Trump’s tweet and will try to include the citizenship question in the census afterall.

    Talk’s cheap. My read is that the forms are being printed without the racist question, the forms will be sent out in due order, and meanwhile the DoJ will “look into” coming up with some kabuki that mollify the Oval Office Occupant until he’s distracted by something else. (Like the failure of his big ‘Salute to MEEEE’ military show… )

  22. 22
    SWMBO says:

    @Yutsano: How hard could it be to take Trump’s vocabulary and churn out a speech? What? Thirty minutes tops? Since it’s all going to be all about him, take any recent speech and just add “the Fourth of July “ and “Independence Day” and start day drinking.

  23. 23
    tokyokie says:

    @a thousand flouncing lurkers was fidelio:

    Stromboli has erupted. At least one death.

    Being killed by a vintage Rossellini movie must be a neo-realistic experience.

  24. 24
    Spanky says:

    From the National Weather Service official downtown forecast:

    Independence Day
    Isolated thunderstorms, then showers and thunderstorms likely after 8am. Mostly cloudy, with a high near 91. Heat index values as high as 100. Light and variable wind becoming southeast 5 to 7 mph in the afternoon. Chance of precipitation is 60%. New rainfall amounts between a tenth and quarter of an inch, except higher amounts possible in thunderstorms

    So don’t count on apocalyptic downpours. But Trump and his cult heat stroking out??

  25. 25
    EthylEster says:

    NYT reports Trump has told DOJ to get citizenship question back on the census form.

    as Tobie reported above.

  26. 26
    Luthe says:

    I am so, so glad I’m not moving to the DC area until after this clusterfuck. Well, at least this week’s cluterfuck.

  27. 27
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    The recovery vehicle included in the package is not only a necessity in case the tanks and ITVs get stuck on the Mall, it’s also a statement of “look, idiot, this is needed because what you’re asking for is a fuckup in the making.”

  28. 28
    hells littlest angel says:

    @Spanky: And maybe a couple of lightning-strike deaths, just to flummox the fundies?

  29. 29
    Scuffletuffle says:

    I would so love to watch footage of a tank sinking into the ground on the evening news…it would truly make my holiday special!

  30. 30
    mrmoshpotato says:

    @Luthe:

    Well, at least this week’s cluterfuck.

    Best of clusterfuck luck

  31. 31
    Chyron HR says:

    Trump and RNC aides are scrambling to ensure turnout at the event and avoid another controversy about crowd size.

    The only “controversy about crowd size” was that you guys told easily disproven lies about the size of a crowd! (clapping emojis)

  32. 32
    mrmoshpotato says:

    @Scuffletuffle: And crushing Dump and Dense in the process?

  33. 33
    tobie says:

    @Anne Laurie: I get rattled easily, so your perspective is welcome. The one thing that worries me is that Republicans are well aware that there are two things they need to ensure a grip on power for the next 50 years — one is gerrymandering and the other is limiting the franchise. They really want this citizenship question on the census since that will boost their numbers and by extension their claims to representation. Maybe I’m misreading this and the whole DOJ effort is to placate Trump. I just don’t know.

    ETA: In the meantime I’ll pray to every goddess I can think of for torrential rain on the parade tomorrow.

  34. 34
    NotMax says:

    @Yutsano

    A sneak preview of what will be mouthed tomorrow.

  35. 35
    boatboy_srq says:

    It finally dawned on me. The reason these events are so late and so haphazard is that Lord Dampnut is convinced he’s grand enough and powerful enough (and desirable enough) that everyone will drop whatever they are.doing and cancel whatever.they have planned just because he throws a partay.

  36. 36
    rikyrah says:

    @tobie:
    😠😠😠😠

  37. 37
    NotMax says:

    @EthylEster

    The judge was, shall we say, less than receptive.

  38. 38
    germy says:

    @tokyokie: When I read the original comment, I knew someone would come along with a joke about it.

  39. 39
    Jackie says:

    OT, Kamala Harris is in Iowa and about to speak. It’s on C-Span.

  40. 40
    mrmoshpotato says:

    @tobie:

    ETA: In the meantime I’ll pray to every goddess I can think of for torrential rain on the parade tomorrow.

    Torrential spaghettistorm! FSM make it happen!

  41. 41
    TenguPhule says:

    @tobie: Well that didn’t take long.

  42. 42
    germy says:

    @Jackie: Harris in Iowa:

    “I know predators and we have a predator living in the White House,” Harris said to applause during a picnic in West Des Moines. “Donald Trump has predatory nature and predatory instincts,” she continued.

  43. 43
    Jager says:

    @trollhattan:

    The Army would have to bring in a tank retrieval unit. Damn I’d love to see that.

  44. 44
    Aleta says:

    (WaPo ) … Senior officers should not disobey legal orders from their commander in chief, said Loren DeJonge Schulman, a former Obama administration official.

    “But if the military chiefs judge this a poor use of resources or a drain on readiness . . . they should openly say so to the president,” Schulman said. “They should feel no compunction about respectfully saying so in public or to Congress.”

    Schulman said military leaders should not let Trump “imply that they support this circus. . . . They shouldn’t let the president use and abuse their image politically without any hint of a correction.”

    Normally, the civilian defense secretary would raise these sorts of concerns with the president, but the Trump administration has not had a Senate-confirmed secretary since Jim Mattis resigned in December. In late June, Trump said he would nominate Army Secretary Mark T. Esper to lead the Pentagon. …

  45. 45
    Ella in New Mexico says:

    @Cheryl Rofer: We’re still a nation of laws. I’m thinking they can “try” to add it all they want, but they still have both the Supreme Court’s decision and now the new stuff going in front of the lower courts. And they’re under a timeline for ordering their Census supplies. Everything does NOT fall under “Executive Orders”.

    Still, this might be a strategy for his also loser idea to delay the Census. “See, your honor, if we can’t ask ask the citizenship question, we’re gonna need to delay this Constitutionally mandated thingy here so we can waste more of the court’s time beating the dead horse of trying to get permission to do what you already said we can’t do.” or some such crap.

    In any case, I’m also thinking that educating the public-that is, everyone, citizens or not–that they do not have to answer that question and should simply decline to do so while completing what they can so we can count the people for representation is the way to go if they DO defy court orders.

  46. 46
    a thousand flouncing lurkers was fidelio says:

    @germy: I’m just glad tokyokie is well-rounded enough that the reference wasn’t to tomato sauce-free calzone.

  47. 47
    Jay Noble says:

    @Anne Laurie: Having worked adjacent to and in the printing business for the last 15 years, once they said “Print ’em!” it will take an incredible amount of influence and huuuuuge piles of cash to stop those presses. Adjusting the forms to add the question is trivial. Everything after that runs up against time barriers because all of the equipment and labor would have to be reshcheduled. And knowing Trump, rescheduled again. And the printing runs up against an even harder deadline – distribution. These have to be in place all across the country well before Halloween, if I’m not mistaken. I hope they bring all that dead guys hard drives out in the next week

  48. 48
    jimmiraybob says:

    Our July 4th Salute to America at the Lincoln Memorial is looking to be really big. It will be the show of a lifetime!

    But certainly not as big as what he’d accomplished by the seventh day when he rested. I mean come on, just dividing the light from the darkness was a master stroke. And don’t even get me started on the stars, the sun and the moon – the work of a Stable Genius!

  49. 49
    Matt McIrvin says:

    @Ella in New Mexico: This could be a deal like the Muslim ban where it all comes down to whether the U. S. Marshals are willing to enforce a court order against the executive branch. They’ve got sort of a dotted line in the org chart, which is always potential for trouble…

  50. 50
    jk says:

    Trump has reached peak penis envy

  51. 51
    Harbison says:

    Trump was mortified by the low inauguration turnout, so he was hoping to glom onto the fireworks display to claim the crowds as his own.

    Wouldn’t be surprised to see him make an appearance at the next Concussion Bowl or the Indy 500 or something so he can claim that the crowd that showed up was there for him.

  52. 52
    mad citizen says:

    @hells littlest angel: You’re making me realize how well-suited Ted Nugent is to be a friend of the OrangeRaper

    Perhaps Mr. Nugent could regale the VIPs with his song Wang Dang Sweet Poontang.

  53. 53
    TenguPhule says:

    @Ella in New Mexico:

    We’re still a nation of laws.

    Debatable.

  54. 54
    TenguPhule says:

    @Jay Noble:

    Having worked adjacent to and in the printing business for the last 15 years, once they said “Print ’em!” it will take an incredible amount of influence and huuuuuge piles of cash to stop those presses.

    What makes you think they took the question off the form before they said “Print em” ?

  55. 55
    Dan B says:

    An interesting tangent.
    NYC Pride had 5 million attendees! The parade started at noon and the last group of marchers left the staging area at 11:15 PM.
    Seattle Pride had more than 500,000! 130,000 marched.
    Parades worldwide had tens if thousands to millions.

    The Fourth of Rump might have 50,000. Many of those will be military forced to attend. Awaiting meltdown.

  56. 56
    CliosFanBoy says:

    @hells littlest angel: So the VIP section is going to be Sarah Palin, Jacob Wohl, and Ted Nugent?

    WORST
    P**N
    MOVIE
    EVAH!

  57. 57
    Dan B says:

    An interesting tangent.
    NYC Pride had 5 million attendees! The parade started at noon and the last group of marchers left the staging area at 11:15 PM.
    Seattle Pride had more than 500,000! 130,000 marched.
    Parades worldwide had tens if thousands to millions.

    The Fourth of Rump might have 50,000. Many of those will be military forced to attend. Awaiting meltdown.@Dan B:

    Or washout followed, by hairpocalypse, followed by meltdown.

  58. 58
    boatboy_srq says:

    @CliosFanBoy: LOLbarf

  59. 59
    NotMax says:

    It will be the show of a lifetime!

    Not even in a mayfly’s lifetime.

  60. 60
    Ella in New Mexico says:

    @Matt McIrvin:

    This could be a deal like the Muslim ban where it all comes down to whether the U. S. Marshals are willing to enforce a court order against the executive branch. They’ve got sort of a dotted line in the org chart, which is always potential for trouble…

    I was wondering the other day if the US Marshals could be used to allow Congressional delegations to visit these concentration camps and keep the GS-9 Border Patrol officers from treating them like they are one up from the prisoners.

    Who the fuck were they to take their phones and stand around an mock members of Congress?

  61. 61
    AThornton says:

    Tanks stuck in the mud at the Washington Mall.

    Perfect metaphor for the Trump Administration.

  62. 62
    Anne Laurie says:

    @boatboy_srq:

    The reason these events are so late and so haphazard is that Lord Dampnut is convinced he’s grand enough and powerful enough (and desirable enough) that everyone will drop whatever they are.doing and cancel whatever.they have planned just because he throws a partay.

    You give the man-thing too much credit. Sure, he assumes the world revolves around him, but mostly everything’s last-minute and haphazard because he has, as John D. MacDonald once said of a character, “the organizational abilities of a kitten with diarrhea”. He has an idea, upon which he is very set until something distracts him, and then everyone is supposed to drop everything and start catering to the *new* idea.

    He can’t, as the behaviorists say, process more than a two-item task list. If there’s a third idea added to his mental queue, one or more of those tasks is gonna get forgotten on the way from A to B to C.

  63. 63
    VOR says:

    I wonder if the emergency which brought Pence back to the White House the other day was related to this circus. I imagine they had a list of potential attendees to call and having the VP calling in addition to POTUS would make things go faster. In Trump’s mind, this has to be more important than whatever Pence was scheduled to do. After all, this is about Trump, therefore it is top priority.

  64. 64
    Ruckus says:

    It’s the Red Square equivalent of a bouncy castle.

    That is after all age appropriate for the squatter in cheese.

  65. 65
    J R in WV says:

    @Jager:

    The Army would have to bring in a tank retrieval unit. Damn I’d love to see that.

    From what I’ve seen published, so far two M1A1 Abrams tanks, Two Bradley Armored troop carriers, and one M88 tank retrieval unit have been delivered to the District of Columbia via railroad flatcar already. So the military is aware of the possibility of disaster and the need to be prepared to retrieve a 60-ton tank if at all possible.

    If the tank sinks into an underground creek or the basement of a Smithsonian museum, retrievability becomes questionable. Perhaps Trump will be asked to order the tank to self retrieve from the basement?

  66. 66
    JaneE says:

    This 4th of July has great possibilities.

    1) pictures of the Mall after it has been shredded by a couple of tanks
    2) pictures of tanks being sunk in mud and then hauled out like stalled cars, only bigger
    3) torrential downpour right before Trump speaks – will he brave the rain or not?
    4) lightening striking Trump and setting his hair aflame.

    More likely, and still kind of fun, 5) listening to the Trump people explain that millions wanted to come, but they only gave out 5,000 tickets when their campaign rally/insane rant doesn’t look well attended.

  67. 67
    donnah says:

    Watched Rachel Maddow this evening. She showed evidence that Trump has wanted a major military parade in his honor since the Inauguration and they found through research that The military denied it for that event, then again when he asked for it in 2017.

    So this last minute effort is a deliberate fake yet again, where he decided to go ahead and make his demands just ahead of the holiday so the cost wouldn’t be able to be analyzed and announced and the Pentagon and Congress couldn’t stop him. The cost will most likely match or exceed the estimate for the prior exhibit he wanted to have, but by the time the numbers are tallied, the July 4th show will be over. American taxpayers are footing the bill, no doubt, and well into the millions of dollars.

    And up until this afternoon, his mouthpieces in the White House vowed that this event is non-partisan and focused on patriotism and freedom, but this evening Kellyann Conway mentioned that Trump will probably take time to celebrate the many accomplishments of his presidency, so yeah, it’s a campaign rally.

    i hate this sonofabitch and all of his party. His dismissal of laws, rules, and protocols is completely out of control and apparently no one can stop him.

  68. 68
    wenchacha says:

    @SWMBO: Do people still do word clouds? I would like to see a display from Donnie today and say, ten years ago. I think I the cloud ☁ would be diminished in size.

  69. 69
    Quaker in a Basement says:

    Trump promises “the show of a lifetime?”
    Is he going to juggle dictators?

  70. 70
    Bill Arnold says:

    @tobie:

    ETA: In the meantime I’ll pray to every goddess I can think of for torrential rain on the parade tomorrow.

    Be careful what you wish for.
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ọya

  71. 71
    JDM says:

    @trollhattan: can’t. Won’t fit.

  72. 72
    JDM says:

    @J R in WV: a friend’s father was stationed in Alaska many years ago (50s). Apparently, in non-winter times you just don’t stop your tank on those old roads. One broke down once and started sinking as soon as it stopped. By the time they got the giant towing apparatus set up it was gone.

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