Late Night Clown Shoes Open Thread: Mike Pence Loves A Man in Uniform

But he’ll settle for… whatever this is:







48 replies
  1. 1
    oatler. says:

    I say he’s a spinach-Nazi and to spinach-hell with him.

  2. 2
    plato says:

    This is a complete waste of a service billet. Commissioning him is a disgrace to the Naval Service. This will bear itself out.— Malcolm Nance (@MalcolmNance) June 10, 2019

    Everything the totus thug’s admin touches turns into shit.

  3. 3
    Amir Khalid says:

    Exempted from basic officer training, freshly commissioned, and already a medal on his chest? What did he get that for?

  4. 4
    stibbert says:

    This guy’s greatest service to the nation will be paying his dry-cleaning bills.

  5. 5
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    Get the fucking uniform tailored, for Christ’s sake.

  6. 6
    opiejeanne says:

    @Amir Khalid: For making his bed every morning.

  7. 7
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Amir Khalid: It is the National Defense Service Medal. Anyone who serves/d during a time of actual hostilities receives that medal.

    ETA: If you remember “A Few Good Men,” it was the one medal that Tom Cruise had on his uniform.

  8. 8
    arrieve says:

    I’m never awake for the late night open threads, but I woke up feeling sick and couldn’t go back to sleep. Then I made the mistake of looking at this picture. Holy crap on a cracker, cannot take Bizarro World right now.

  9. 9
    Amir Khalid says:

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Anyone who serves/d during a time of actual hostilities receives that medal.

    I thought you had to have served to get the medal. That is, on your first day you won’t have earned it yet.

  10. 10
    Waynski says:

    @Amir Khalid: I think the medal is a participation medal.

  11. 11
    David 🎅🎄Merry Christmas🎄🎅 Koch says:

    Worst local production of Mister Roberts – EVAH!

  12. 12
    Amir Khalid says:

    @Waynski:
    You mean, like in kindergarten? I suppose I find that apt.

  13. 13
    tokyokie says:

    My nephew got married in his Navy whites a few years back. But then, he was on active duty and it meant he didn’t have to rent a tux.

  14. 14
    tokyokie says:

    @Amir Khalid: The only difference is he won’t do any finger-painting while wearing his whites.

  15. 15
    Arclite says:

    Wow, Twitter was brutal.

  16. 16
    Arclite says:

    Not really related to anything, but revisiting Doug and Bob McKenzie’s hit single with Geddy Lee is pure joy.

  17. 17
    Waynski says:

    @Amir Khalid: It’s exactly what I mean. Like in kindergarten. Glad you find it apt. Actually, if you look closely at the medal, it looks like it has a smiley face on it.

  18. 18
    Grung_e_gene says:

    @Amir Khalid: National Defense (automatic and open-ended since 09/11/01)

  19. 19
    Mel says:

    @Amir Khalid: I think that’s the Grift Scouts badge for “best imitation of a surly tween-aged girl who just got detention.” Seriously, that posture and expression take me right back to teaching 7th grade. All that’s missing is a dramatic eye roll and a “Hello Kitty bookbag. My grandfather was in the Navy during WWIi. I think I can hear him rolling over in his grave over this latest debacle.

    How is your guitar playing going? Your guitar adventures have inspired me, and I’m thinking about getting a banjo and playing again. It’s been a couple of decades and some arthritic fingers since I played regularly though, so it will probably be like starting from square one again!

  20. 20
  21. 21
    MFA says:

    That’s not the one they award for vainglorious service?

  22. 22
    JR says:

    This is pretty much how the French military was organized circa 1789

  23. 23
    Amir Khalid says:

    @Mel:
    I think I am slowly improving. I was a little afraid at first, as a lefty learning to play right-handed at my age, but now I think I can do it.

  24. 24
    mrmoshpotato says:

    @Arclite: Thank you Arclite. That was hilarious.

  25. 25
    JoyceH says:

    Retired Navy officer here. And when I was Priebus’ age, I’d been RETIRED for SIX years.

  26. 26
    biff murphy says:

    With no prior military experience…The general age requirement for the Navy Reserve is that you must be between the ages of 18-39 and be able to have 20 years of total service by age 60… As an ex-navy man find it reprehensible that this toad could join the navy with no prior military, no boot camp, no schooling, just political connections, fuck this toad. Really.

  27. 27

    I somehow missed hearing about this until I saw this picture just now. WTF? Why do they do this to themselves? Was there no one around to say this is a bad idea?

  28. 28
    JoyceH says:

    @Dorothy A. Winsor: But Vlad thinks it’s a great idea. Like back in the old Soviet days when every military unit had a “political officer” whose job was to ensure correct thinking and party loyalty. Just call him Comrade Commissar.

  29. 29
    Zinsky says:

    Fascists have always liked dressing up in military regalia. It gives them an illusory sense of power and dominance they lack in their personal lives. It is sexually stimulating to many and properly gives them a boner. I’m sure Reince’s tiny organ was at attention throughout the entire ceremony. Sick deviants…

  30. 30
    Another Scott says:

    @biff murphy: Military.com has more.

    tl;dr – there are reasonable policies that let oldsters take up special positions when they normally would be too old. Whether Preibus should be one of those exceptions is something I can’t answer. One thing that does give me a bit of hope that this isn’t an over-the-top grift is that he’s going in as the lowest officer possible, not a Captain or something…

    FWIW.

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  31. 31
    J R in WV says:

    I was an E-2 when I enlisted, at the point of a gun, during the Vietnam draft. I was an E-2 years later when I was honorably discharged, after working my ass off, doing what I was told.

    This is an insult to every working enlisted in the military, ever. Of course, now he has to follow the orders of every officer in the USN.

  32. 32
    MattF says:

    Maybe he’s trying to get back onto Trump’s staff. ‘Why wasn’t I invited to the party? Would a uniform help? Can I be a general?’

  33. 33
    Barbara says:

    I would die of embarrassment if I did this.

  34. 34
    Ken B says:

    Does this mean he’s under the UCMJ?

  35. 35
    Eural Joiner says:

    @Arclite:
    Just picked up Geddy’s Big Book of Bass for a musician friend as a surprise gift – it is a beautiful, beautiful book and just fascinating even for a non-musician :)

  36. 36
    Mike R says:

    @JoyceH: Perfect.

  37. 37
    lee says:

    @Ken B: Yes.

    I also want to know WTF is going on here? Does this sort of thing happen on a regular basis (vanity commissions)?

  38. 38
    ottercliff says:

    Somebody is getting ready to run for office!

    And who wouldn’t vote for a man who earned a medal on their first day in the Navy Reserves?

    He’ll be an Admiral by Christmas…….

  39. 39
    Aleta says:

    If he ever had to go before a judge, a selfless service record would come in handy.

  40. 40
    Faithful Lurker says:

    I don’t know very much about military protocol but doesn’t he now have to follow the orders of the commander in chief? His mouth is shut and he’ll get a pension soon.

  41. 41
    Cermet says:

    @Faithful Lurker: No, that is enlisted. An officer must uphold the Constitution first and foremost. He must follow lawful orders only and that, the orange fart cloud is incapable of issuing.

  42. 42
    ...now I try to be amused says:

    The National Defense Service Medal even goes to cadets. It truly is a participation award.

  43. 43
    Quaker in a Basement says:

    Were they all out of pirate costumes?

  44. 44
    L85NJGT says:

    Did McConnell blackball him from a Kentucky Colonel commission?

    @lee:

    Back in the day one could pull some favors (or put up some money to equip a unit) and wangle a state commission, and during the big war they pulled in specialized skill sets for key areas (filmmaker John Ford was a Commander). But at his age, the rank and job they gave him is “are you fucking serious?”

  45. 45
    Nick Schuldig says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: @Omnes Omnibus:
    Back in my day we called that the “mess hall ribbon”. You got one for getting your first meal down. Used to be it was only for enlisted folks, and seeing it on an officer was a sign of someone who came up through ranks. Since then, though, they’ve given it it all officers.

  46. 46
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Nick Schuldig: When was your day? I have never seen anything that indicates that it was ever an enlisted only award. The only awards that are enlisted
    only in the army at least IIRC are the Good Conduct Medal and the NCO Professional Development Ribbon.

  47. 47
    Mike G says:

    We’re almost down to the corruption and grift levels of the Civil War era, when well-connected politician-clowns could be commissioned as generals.

  48. 48
    Nick Schulig says:

    @Omnes Omnibus:
    Inducted Jan ’67. Some time in the late 80s I saw a LtC give a talk and noted his “national service” ribbon. Afterwards I asked if he’d been enlisted. He knew right away why I’d asked. Maybe the change had been so recent that he could have been self-conscious about it. Told me no, that ribbon is for officers now, too. It used to mean nearly nothing, and now means less.

    Looking forward to the day that officers get good conduct medals. That would be like getting a C in your own department in grad school. But they do covet that colorful stuff on their dress uniforms.

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