Today in Headlines Mad Libs

May you live in interesting times, they say:

I hope we get some better writers for Season 2020.






330 replies
  1. 1
    TenguPhule says:

    I hope we get some better writers for Season 2020.

    I hate to tell you this John, the writers all quit.

    This is the live action Survivor sequel we all never wanted.

  2. 2
    MattF says:

    So, what you’re suggesting… is that this isn’t The Good Place.

  3. 3
    TenguPhule says:

    Reports suggested the planned infrastructure meeting lasted just three minutes, with Trump clearly unwilling to engage.

    Clearly, Trump owes Pelosi and Schumer $390,000.

  4. 4
    Baud says:

    Now I’m hungry.

  5. 5
    Martin says:

    I’ll take ‘What happens when you put incompetent people in charge of stuff’ for $1000 Alex.

  6. 6
    Cacti says:

    Ben Carson and Oreos?

    I’m not touching that one with a 10 foot pole.

  7. 7
    Martin says:

    @TenguPhule: I don’t know, seems like Pelosi is renting a fuckton of Trumps head right now.

  8. 8
    Martin says:

    @Cacti: It’s okay. But that was my first reaction as well. You get to watch my congresswoman in full Property Law 101 teaching mode.

  9. 9
    LuciaMia says:

    I understand throwing food at politicians. But why milkshakes?

  10. 10
    J.A.F. Rusty Shackleford says:

    @LuciaMia: Why not milkshakes?

  11. 11
    Wag says:

    @LuciaMia:

    Because they “splat” so satisfyingly and make a bigger mess than tomatoes?

  12. 12
    rikyrah says:

    @LuciaMia:

    I understand throwing food at politicians. But why milkshakes?

    A protester threw one at him the other day. These people were building upon that.

  13. 13
    rikyrah says:

    Wakandan War Dog (@Kennymack1971) Tweeted:
    I guess my patience with anguished progressives particularly the white ones is this…in 2016…

    We fucking told you.

    Warned you. Implored you.

    And now that the very thing we told you would happen is happening now your hair is on fire.

    Go sit your anguished ass in the corner. https://twitter.com/Kennymack1971/status/1131247598042525698?s=17

  14. 14

    @Wag: Yes, but what a waste.

  15. 15
    rikyrah says:

    Mr. Weeks 🤴🏾 (@MrDane1982) Tweeted:
    Nancy Pelosi literally blew shit up today with a few words, “obstructing justice in plain site and is engaged in a coverup.”

    She said Nixon’s third article of impeachment was for contempt of Congress & for obstructing Congressional probes.

    Finished him with Thoughts & prayers. https://twitter.com/MrDane1982/status/1131256859053174785?s=17

  16. 16
    Tazj says:

    @TenguPhule: NPR this afternoon, “How can Pelosi expect Trump to work with him after she said he’s leading a cover up? Doesn’t he (Trump) have a point?” Just no, how can they take him seriously after all this time? Idiots. Of course, I may be an idiot for listening to them in my car, but some segments and shows are ok.

    @rikyrah: Yep.

  17. 17
    Betty Cracker says:

    I won’t rest until the term “cryptocurrency” is replaced with “Dunning-Krugerrands.”

  18. 18
    rikyrah says:

    Mr. Weeks 🤴🏾 (@MrDane1982) Tweeted:
    Nancy Pelosi is a fucking gangsta.

    She made Trump say he’s the most transparent president.

    Now he will have to eat those words.

    IRS says Trump must hand over his taxes over to Congress.

    This is why I never doubt the chessboard player Nancy Pelosi.

    I like quiet leaders. https://twitter.com/MrDane1982/status/1131238954613792770?s=17

  19. 19
    Yutsano says:

    @Betty Cracker: If you agree with me to also work on making the plural of fox foxen, we got some English to bend.

  20. 20
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @LuciaMia: I can teach you, but I have to charge.

  21. 21
    No One of Consequence says:

    @Betty Cracker: This is some Grade A cleverness right here.

    Citizen Kane clap.

    Bravo Betty,

    – NOoC

  22. 22
    Yutsano says:

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    You’re fired.

    (Also I LOLed.)

  23. 23
    Princess says:

    It’s been a weird day for headlines and I’m glad someone else noticed. I also saw one that said something like, “Clarence Thomas says States Can Declare their Own Official Religions.”

    I’m beginning to worry they’re tangling with that Hadron Collider again.

  24. 24
    chris says:

    JFC, talk about the Best People! Here’s a handy, and long, list of Brexiteers. No further comment as it would be an insult to swamps.

  25. 25
    Steve in the ATL says:

    Mr. Weeks 🤴🏾 (@MrDane1982) Tweeted:
    Nancy Pelosi literally blew shit up today with a few words, “obstructing justice in plain site and is engaged in a coverup.”

    I don’t who Mr. Weeks is, but he used the word “literally” when he literally meant the exact opposite of “literally.”

    Is he a 14-year old girl?

  26. 26
    danielx says:

    @Steve in the ATL:

    I wondered the same thing. “Literally blew shit up”, wouldn’t that require, like, lighting a fuse or operating a detonating device, something like that?

  27. 27
    danielx says:

    Headlines shown above: word salad, but real.

  28. 28
    zhena gogolia says:

    @rikyrah:

    I just bookmarked this guy. I like the way he writes.

  29. 29
    rikyrah says:

    👏👏👏👏

    skeptical brotha 🌈 (@skepticalbrotha) Tweeted:
    #Impeachment isn’t about convicting Trump and removing him from office before an election, it’s about laying bare his crimes before the American people and convicting him in the court of public opinion for misusing his power and violating the constitution. https://twitter.com/skepticalbrotha/status/1131182463206559744?s=17

  30. 30
    Amir Khalid says:

    @Steve in the ATL:
    Using “literally” to mean “figuratively” is a minor offence compared to misspelling “sight”.

  31. 31
    rikyrah says:

    David D’Ag – Gun Control Now (@jackjonesbabe) Tweeted:
    Nancy Pelosi and women led the blue wave that flipped red states, not incurious, entitled twitterbros or candidates from dem +30 districts. If she hadn’t led the movement to take back the house, these arrogant, incurious pricks would be screaming “impeachment” at a fucking wall. https://twitter.com/jackjonesbabe/status/1131252940751216643?s=17

  32. 32
    zhena gogolia says:

    @Steve in the ATL: @danielx:

    In the lingo kids speak today, “literally” is just an intensifier. Plus, Twitter. Anyway, I like the way this guy writes.

  33. 33
  34. 34

    I hope we get some better writers for Season 2020.

    Unfortunately they’ve hired the Game of Thrones showrunners.

  35. 35
    Betty Cracker says:

    @Yutsano: Done and done!

    @No One of Consequence: Wish I could take credit, but that belongs to some long-forgotten wag on Twitter.

  36. 36
    trollhattan says:

    @chris:
    Brexit is headed about where we figured Brexit would head, only it’s taking a lot longer.

    Commons Leader Andrea Leadsom has quit the cabinet, saying she no longer believes the government’s approach will deliver Brexit.

    Her resignation comes amid a backlash against Theresa May’s Brexit plan from Conservative MPs. Several cabinet ministers have told the BBC that the PM cannot stay, with one saying it is “the end of the line”.

    Mrs Leadsom previously ran for Tory leader but withdrew, clearing the path for Mrs May to become prime minister. As Commons leader, she was in charge of organising government business and had been due to announce when the prime minister’s Withdrawal Agreement Bill would be introduced to Parliament.

    Her resignation is the 36th by a minister under Theresa May – 21 of them over Brexit – and comes a day before the UK votes in the European elections.

  37. 37
    Percysowner says:

    @rikyrah: I know and I hate to sound like this, but I AM progressive, heck I’m a bleeding heart liberal and I’m a white woman. I phonebanked for Hillary, I registered voters and of course, I voted for Hillary. So yeah, blame the Bernie Bros and the Green Party, but most of us knew and worked to stop this. I mean she did WIN the popular vote.

  38. 38
    zhena gogolia says:

    @Steve in the ATL: @danielx:

    this is his pinned tweet:

    @MrDane1982
    27 Oct 2018
    More
    I know for a fact, I’m tired of saying, Hillary Clinton was fucking right, but I will continue to remind you stupid ass people, that Hillary Clinton was right about every thing.

    Sheer poetry.

  39. 39
    zhena gogolia says:

    @Percysowner:

    You booed throughout her convention. You booed Elizabeth Warren so that she could barely finish her speech. You booed a Marine general who was expressing his support for her.

  40. 40
    trollhattan says:

    @Major Major Major Major:
    If so, where are my fvcking dragons? C’mon folks!

  41. 41
    Martin says:

    @LuciaMia: So, years ago I was tasked with documenting the history of why our students throw tortillas at graduation, to determine if it was intended to be a racist statement or not. Adding to the mystery, they were only thrown during outdoor ceremonies and not indoor.

    Turns out the students thought this through. Tortilla are cheap and biodegradable. No harm done if they aren’t cleaned up outside (and why they weren’t thrown inside). They are aerodynamically sound, so you can cover quite a distance with them (the students even knew which brands and sizes worked best) and if you hit someone, it doesn’t hurt. And push come to shove, you have something to snack on during the entirely too long reading of names. Plus they’re easy to smuggle into the ceremony.

    I would argue milkshakes are similarly well thought through. They’re cheap, offered almost everywhere, and come in a very throwable package. The lid usually stays on until impact, but will never survive impact. The contents aren’t harmful, but it is sticky and will get smelly if you don’t clean it up. Plus it creates a good visual, particularly if you explore the flavor options, of the politician walking away humiliated. And, if your opportunity to make a political statement doesn’t materialize, you have a fucking milkshake to drink. You can’t lose.

  42. 42
    zhena gogolia says:

    @Martin:

    Is it a reference to Daniel Day-Lewis?

  43. 43

    @trollhattan:

    Brexit is headed about where we figured Brexit would head

    I confess Brexit has me baffled. Where is it headed?

  44. 44
    Lapassionara says:

    @Tazj: Pelosi can expect Trump to work with her because he is President and working with Congress is part of his job.

    I’m with Emptywheel. I’m thinking men are too emotional to be in positions of leadership.

  45. 45
    Immanentize says:

    @Steve in the ATL:
    I see you clocked in as the Pedantic Police again. When is your shift over? I’ll buy you a regular and a cruller at Dunkin….

  46. 46
    danielx says:

    @zhena gogolia:

    I know. Being a stickler for correct grammar and spelling is such a hangup for olds. I might like the way he writes if he could use language correctly.

  47. 47
    Steve in the ATL says:

    @Amir Khalid: I respectfully disagree, old bean. Using a word that means literally the opposite of what you are trying to say creates more confusion that using a homonym, and is therefore a greater offense.

    @zhena gogolia: Clearly, we need an Académie française-type institution to prevent such atrocities in the future.

  48. 48
    zhena gogolia says:

    @Steve in the ATL:

    Well, we ain’t got one.

  49. 49
    zhena gogolia says:

    @danielx:

    Being a stickler for correct grammar and spelling is such a hangup for olds.

    Joe Biden constantly uses the word “literally” this way.

  50. 50
    LC says:

    @danielx: Being a stickler for obsolete grammar and usage is a hangup for olds.

  51. 51
    Steve in the ATL says:

    @Immanentize: normally I’m the second shift pedant, but today the union keeps “caucusing” so I have some free time. Blog lord will make me stop pedanting later this evening so he doesn’t have to pay me overtime.

  52. 52

    @Steve in the ATL: I see you’re channeling your old buddy Scalia: “words have meanings and those meanings don’t change.”

  53. 53
    Martin says:

    @Lapassionara:

    I’m thinking men are too emotional to be in positions of leadership.

    I wouldn’t say we’re necessarily emotional (rage, yes, but generally lacking in the beneficial emotions), but we are fragile. I think Margaret Atwood had it right. The focus is put on the latter statement, but the former is equally observant:

    Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them.

    Trump is being laughed at by Pelosi. She’s calling him a loser. That’s pretty much the worst possible thing to him, and Pelosi knows it. I’m beginning to think Pelosi is slow walking impeachment because she thinks she can tilt Trump bad enough that she and her caucus won’t need to make the argument – it’ll be obvious to all.

  54. 54
    zhena gogolia says:

    @Steve in the ATL: @danielx:

    I submit, this guy is a brilliant writer:

    All of this fuckery could’ve been avoided by simply voting for a Lawyer, Professor, First Lady of Arkansas, First Lady of the United States of America, Senator, Secretary of State, Activist, Humanitarian, author Hillary Clinton but through her emails we found out she had a vagina

  55. 55
    Formerly disgruntled in Oregon says:

    @Lapassionara: Man, we men are never going to live Trump down. (Probably a useful societal correction, though.)

    #notallmen

  56. 56
    Immanentize says:

    There is a great new style/grammar book out that I recommend -+ Dreyer’s English. It’s subtitled, “An utterly correct guide to grammar and style.”

    Obviously, when people are using the word “literally” in the ways so offensive, they are using it as a soft emphasizer. Dreyer has a great rule which I now force onto my students when writing briefs — no soft emphasizers ever. Including, of course, the “ever” at the end of my last sentence.

  57. 57
    Steve in the ATL says:

    @Major Major Major Major: dude, that was cold. We all know that meanings can evolve over time, but I don’t accept that the ignorance of some tween girls can qiockly change a word’s meaning to its literal opposite.

  58. 58
    zhena gogolia says:

    “Good” grammar and vocabulary are important in formal writing, but Twitter is not formal writing. It is more about phrasing and rhythm. Not everyone can master it. I myself would not be able to. But Mr. Weeks appears to be a virtuoso.

  59. 59
    Martin says:

    @LC:

    Anyway, about my washtub. I’d just used it that morning to wash my turkey, which in those days was known as a walking-bird. We’d always have walking-bird on Thanksgiving, with all the trimmings: cranberries, injun eyes, yams stuffed with gunpowder. Then we’d all watch football, which in those days was called baseball…

  60. 60
    Steve in the ATL says:

    @zhena gogolia: he does have his moments!

  61. 61
    zhena gogolia says:

    @Immanentize:

    How about “incredibly”?

    I got Dreyer’s English and starting reading it. I tend to agree with him about most things, but I’m having trouble envisioning using it in class.

  62. 62
    Immanentize says:

    @Martin:
    And hang onions on our belts….

  63. 63
    Sebastian says:

    @Martin:

    Very much so. You think the Russians and Saudis are the only ones who profiled this guy and gameplayed a plan or two?

  64. 64
    trollhattan says:

    @Dorothy A. Winsor:
    Am whatever 1/expert means but believe it’s likely 1. there will be no negotiated separation deal with the EU prior to the new longer deadline and 2. they will hold a second referendum in which people vote on a detailed Brexit.

    Item the third is May is gone as PM, soon.

  65. 65
    Martin says:

    @Immanentize: One of Stephen King’s rules for writing is to never use adverbs unless the content is lost without it. That seems simpler.

  66. 66
    Immanentize says:

    @zhena gogolia: I’m not using the book in class, just a bunch of his insights. It’s clear but progressive in terms of grammatic evolution. But I really like the ban on soft modifiers — very, really, obviously, etc.

  67. 67
    Immanentize says:

    @Martin:
    I pretty much feel the same way about adjectives.
    ETA. There is no way S. King follows that rule himself. He would never be able to get to 600 pages if he did.

  68. 68
    Martin says:

    @Sebastian: Don’t forget the North Koreans. They won their game last year and Trump still doesn’t even realize it, because, well, Trump’s in love and love makes you blind.

  69. 69
    Gelfling 545 says:

    @Steve in the ATL: when I brought a similar situation up on FB a friend who is as fussy as I about usage pointed me to an actual dictionary entry showing that besides its traditional meaning literally now means, well, not actually literally. Soon we won’t be able to converse at all because everyone will choose their own meanings.

  70. 70
    NotMax says:

    @Immanentize

    no soft emphasizers ever

    Unless one is writing advertising copy for either a mattress or for toilet paper.

    ;)

  71. 71
    Immanentize says:

    @Gelfling 545:
    Steven Pinker suggests your brain wants you to get over that attitude.

  72. 72
    Immanentize says:

    @NotMax: or Trump’s tweets.

  73. 73
    Yutsano says:

    @Sebastian: Heck just look at Mar-A-Lago. Dolt45 LOVES his HB-1 visa holders. How many spies do you think are doubling up as waitstaff at his resort now? Hell how many do you think weren’t at first but then got offers of dosh by their home governments to do a little listening around his table and room? And that’s just the one resort he spends time at.

  74. 74
    zhena gogolia says:

    @Steve in the ATL:

    He has many, many moments, most of which would not pass muster in standard English grammar. Another gem:

    Nancy Pelosi has Donald Trump is looking like a rambling coke head.

    Keep your stiletto heels on his neck.

    Poetry.

  75. 75
    Brachiator says:

    @trollhattan:

    @Dorothy A. Winsor:

    I confess Brexit has me baffled. Where is it headed?

    Towards chaos and confusion?

    On one hand, it appears to be stumbling toward a “no deal” BREXIT, if Theresa May cannot get votes for her agreement. And it looks as though no one wants it, even though she has pretended to make minor adjustments. Also, some of her proposed adjustments either make no sense, contradict each other, or would never be acceptable to the EU.

    May (and a lot of other people) wanted to get things wrapped up before the European Commission elections, which begin tomorrow. The UK must vote to select Members of the European Parliament (MEP). But if BREXIT happens before June 30, I think, none of the people chosen will take their seats, because they will no longer represent Britain in the EU.

    In addition, the other Conservatives in May’s government are putting forth a half ass effort to replace her. If they reject her BREXIT plan and then dump her, I think that there will be an attempt to push the country toward a no deal BREXIT. This will make hard liners and Trump happy.

    The conservatives making the most noise to replace May are dopes like Boris Johnson.

    Of course, I might be wrong about all of this. So yeah, it is baffling.

  76. 76
    danielx says:

    @LC:

    And Your Humble Obedient Servant takes great pleasure in “obsolete” yet correct grammar, because it reduces ambiguity. Sloppy use of language is characteristic of the individual currently occupying the Oval Office. If someone want to Be Like Donald, he or she is welcome to do so.

    ETA:
    @zhena gogolia:

    That being said, I completely agree with the sentiment expressed.

  77. 77
    Steve in the ATL says:

    @zhena gogolia: it’s not just about good grammar and vocabulary, it’s about conveying meaning clearly. While I am occasionally accused of being a pedant, I am not a hardliner on everything. Example: I am not bothered by split infinitives (because the prohibition against them was created by one dude for bullshit reasons) or ending sentences with prepositions. And while using “decimate” to suggest total destruction rather than 10% destruction bothers me, I accept that it doesn’t bother most people.

    But I don’t accept using words to mean their opposites because (1) then the reader/listener has to analyze whether the use is correct or ironic, and (2) the reader/listener may draw the wrong conclusion, thereby rendering the statement useless at best and harmful at worst. And I won’t even mention (3), which, if I mentioned it, would be the damage to communications in general as words lose their meanings.

    ETA: Gelfling 545 made the same point while I was typing my totally unnecessary screed!

    EATA: as did danielx. And perhaps dozens of others, so I’m going to stop now.

  78. 78
    zhena gogolia says:

    @Steve in the ATL:

    That’s fine, and generally I agree with you, but the “literally” battle has been lost. No one is confused by his saying that she literally blew up shit. Really, no one.

    I would correct it in a student paper, but twitter is more of a poetic medium.

  79. 79
    trollhattan says:

    @NotMax:

    Unless one is writing advertising copy for either a mattress or for toilet paper.

    National chain bought out a very successful regional mattress chain here a few years ago and when I read it was called “Mattress Firm” I asked “Who would be stupid enough to combine mattress and firm in a store name?”

    Well, joke’s on them.

  80. 80
    Sebastian says:

    @Yutsano:

    It would be professional malpractice not to. I mean, the most powerful person in the world is a 2-bit idiot that can be manipulated like a toddler? Fuck, of course you try!

    By the way, the number of false cellular cells in DC has exploded. Everyone is trying to catch unsecured cellphones.

  81. 81
    Immanentize says:

    @Steve in the ATL:
    You heart William Saffire, don’t you.

  82. 82

    @Steve in the ATL:

    I don’t accept that[…] tween girls can qiockly change a word’s meaning

    Young women are actually one of the strongest forces behind semantic drift in American English. Citation not handy but this is a real thing.

  83. 83
    Gin & Tonic says:

    I see that the ruling in the Deutsche Bank subpoena case went as well for Trump as the ruling in the Mazars case.

  84. 84
    Litlebritdifrnt says:

    So Twitler holds a presser in the Rose Garden today where he displays a pretty poster board proclaiming that the Mueller report cost 34 million. Just now he posted on twitter that the report cost 40 million. Just how stupid or short memoried does he think people are?

  85. 85
    divF says:

    @Princess: I’m waiting for “Pope to Declare Elvis a Saint.”

  86. 86
    Sebastian says:

    @Martin:

    I think the Saudis took the price though. Orb and all.

  87. 87
    Betty Cracker says:

    Been meaning to post a thread about pedantry one day to explore the motivations behind it and discover what goals, if any, pedants hope to accomplish. Despite being an old English major who has made a living as a writer and editor for decades and who silently frowns at typos on restaurant menus, I am rarely tempted to provide writing critiques online for free.

  88. 88
    Gravenstone says:

    @zhena gogolia: I think you misread her comment.

  89. 89
    Gravenstone says:

    @Martin: Flour or corn?

  90. 90
    trollhattan says:

    @Litlebritdifrnt:
    “Yes.” :-)

  91. 91
    Steve in the ATL says:

    @Martin: SPLIT INFINITIVE!

    Wait, never mind. That’s a bullshit rule!

  92. 92

    @Steve in the ATL: It’s really easy to get tangled up sometimes. In the fantasies I write, can I say “Adam’s apple” if there’s no bible? Can I say “mesmerize” if Mesmer never existed? I don’t do either thing and I’m probably the only one who cares.

  93. 93
    Immanentize says:

    @zhena gogolia:
    Same with “nonplussed.” It has been caught in semantic drift. Which is natural!

  94. 94
    Steve in the ATL says:

    @Immanentize: et tu, Imm? First M4 and now you. Rough day here at the union hall.

  95. 95
    Immanentize says:

    @Gin & Tonic:
    Oddly enough, the law is pretty damn clear and luckily (surprisingly?) judges are upholding the law

  96. 96

    @Gelfling 545:

    an actual dictionary entry showing that besides its traditional meaning literally now means, well, not actually literally. Soon we won’t be able to converse at all because everyone will choose their own meanings.

    Many years ago I was taking a Sanskrit class, and the professor said there’s an old ‘joke’ along the lines of “Sanskrit is hard because every word means what it means, and also the opposite of that, and also is an alternative name of at least one deity.”

  97. 97
    danielx says:

    @Betty Cracker:

    …I am rarely tempted to provide writing critiques online for free.

    True. The Chicago Manual of Style (17th edition) is available at Barnes and Noble for $70.00, plus whatever taxes may apply.

  98. 98
    oatler. says:

    @Immanentize: I think it was Safire who condemned “slather”, a term which is all the rage for millennials writing serious think-pieces about Taco Bell.

  99. 99
    Immanentize says:

    @Litlebritdifrnt:
    He is also forgetting (ignoring) that the Mueller investigation has already brought in over 22 million in fines and forfeitures.

  100. 100
    Steve in the ATL says:

    @Gelfling 545:

    when I brought a similar situation up on FB a friend who is as fussy as I about usage pointed me to an actual dictionary entry showing that besides its traditional meaning literally now means, well, not actually literally.

    Which dictionary? OED or GTFO!

  101. 101
    rikyrah says:

    @Gin & Tonic:

    I see that the ruling in the Deutsche Bank subpoena case went as well for Trump as the ruling in the Mazars case.

    YEAH!!!

  102. 102
    Immanentize says:

    @divF:

    Elvis was a hero to most
    Elvis was a hero to most
    Elvis was a hero to most
    But he never meant shit to me you see
    Straight up racist that sucker was
    Simple and plain
    Mother fuck him and John Wayne

  103. 103
    Steve in the ATL says:

    @Betty Cracker:

    I am rarely tempted to provide writing critiques online for free.

    I’m getting paid right now, even if not for this!

  104. 104
    Ruckus says:

    @Immanentize:
    He tried that with me the other day, I implored him to please be fucking himself.
    Hasn’t spoken to me since.

  105. 105
    Immanentize says:

    @Betty Cracker: That said,
    “Green grocer’s apostrophe”
    Was one of the greatest lines ever, B.C.

  106. 106
    Amir Khalid says:

    @Steve in the ATL:
    Misusing a homonym suggests carelessness/ignorance/both on the writer’s part, which makes me think I am wasting my time by reading them at all. I suppose deciding which bad writing habits to hate more dearly is a matter of personal taste.

  107. 107
    Brachiator says:

    @zhena gogolia:

    @Steve in the ATL:

    That’s fine, and generally I agree with you, but the “literally” battle has been lost. No one is confused by his saying that she literally blew up shit. Really, no one.

    The battle over “literally” was lost centuries ago. But a few poor souls just refuse to surrender.

    Is it ever okay to use literally to mean “figuratively”?

    F. Scott Fitzgerald did it (“He literally glowed”). So did James Joyce (“Lily, the caretaker’s daughter, was literally run off her feet”), W. M. Thackeray (“I literally blazed with wit”), Charlotte Brontë (“she took me to herself, and proceeded literally to suffocate me with her unrestrained spirits”) and others of their ilk….

    The use of literally in a fashion that is hyperbolic or metaphoric is not new—evidence of this use dates back to 1769. Its inclusion in a dictionary isn’t new either; the entry for literally in our 1909 unabridged dictionary states that the word is “often used hyperbolically; as, he literally flew.” We (and all the other “craven dictionary editors”) have included this definition for a very simple reason: a lot of people use it this way, and our entries are based on evidence of use. Furthermore, the fact that so many people are writing angry letters serves as a sort of secondhand evidence, as they would hardly be complaining about this usage if it had not become common.

    We understand that many have chosen this particular issue as the one about which they choose to draw a line in the sand, on the grounds that a word should not mean one thing and its opposite (a fairly common thing in English). But a living language is a language that is always changing; this change may be lovely, and it may be ugly. As lexicographers we are in the business of defining language, rather than judging it.

  108. 108
  109. 109
    Richard Wesson says:

    @Steve in the ATL: If you think about it, we’ve used “really” as an intensifier for many years, when it actually should mean (according to the literal semantics) “in reality”.

    “He was really mad. He was really about ready to literally explode.”

    That sounds odd to my ears but it’s customary usage these days.

  110. 110
    danielx says:

    @Litlebritdifrnt:

    Just how stupid or short memoried does he think people are?

    Very.

    He also thinks (hopes?) nobody notices or remembers how much his golfing trips cost, which is considerably more than the Mueller report.

  111. 111
    trollhattan says:

    @Steve in the ATL:
    Honest Abe built fences using them.

  112. 112
    chopper says:

    @Immanentize:

    it was the style at the time. back then nickels had pictures of bees on ’em…

  113. 113
    Immanentize says:

    @Steve in the ATL:
    Oh, I pedant when the writing gets serious. But even then, bending for effect is powerful.

  114. 114
    Immanentize says:

    @Dorothy A. Winsor:
    I love your subtraction of the soft emphasizer.

  115. 115
    SRW1 says:

    @J.A.F. Rusty Shackleford:

    I understand throwing food at politicians. But why milkshakes?

    Didn’t some dude once say “You throw the drink you have, not the drink you wished you had”?

  116. 116
    Ruckus says:

    @Martin:
    That sounds a lot like Nancy. She does know how to play the game about as good as anyone ever has.

  117. 117
    NotMax says:

    @Litlebritdifrnt

    Less than the cost of his Mar-a-lago sojourns over the same period.

  118. 118
    The Moar You Know says:

    Just how stupid or short memoried does he think people are?

    @Litlebritdifrnt: The man knows his base cold. He could…ahem…literally change the number to 100 billion tomorrow and every single member of the Asshole America Party would believe that was the true cost without even thinking twice.

  119. 119
    Gravenstone says:

    @Yutsano:

    How many spies do you think are doubling up as waitstaff at his resort now?

    Does no one here remember the fun all the writers here (pro and aspiring) had piecing together a story of all the foreign agents discovering and interacting each other as they infiltrated Mar-a-Lago? It came together shortly after the impromptu dining room briefing he took after an NK missile test, iirc.

  120. 120
    Chyron HR says:

    @Major Major Major Major:

    “Am I so out of touch? No, it’s the dictionaries who are wrong.”

  121. 121
    Immanentize says:

    @danielx: golfing trips now total over a million balloons of hard earned tax payer do-re-mi

  122. 122
    zhena gogolia says:

    @Gravenstone:

    Nope. I read it again. She was asking for absolution for Bernie bros. It’s not forthcoming from me, at least.

  123. 123
    Timill says:

    @danielx: Sorta like this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eOwven0Rt94

    (Blaster Bates – The Shower Of Shit Over Cheshire)

  124. 124

    @Immanentize: It’s a tribute to you. :-)

  125. 125
    Steve in the ATL says:

    @Major Major Major Major: my life no longer has meaning.

    @Ruckus: I don’t recognize this nym. Are you a new Russian troll or our old comrade BiP?

    @zhena gogolia:

    That’s fine, and generally I agree with you, but the “literally” battle has been lost. No one is confused by his saying that she literally blew up shit. Really, no one.

    Does using a word to mean its literal opposite make you think that the writer/speaker is an idiot? That’s the reaction I have, and perhaps @Amir Khalid: feels the same.

    Also, “literally” is used so often that it no longer has any power in speech.

  126. 126
    Martin says:

    @Dorothy A. Winsor:

    I confess Brexit has me baffled. Where is it headed?

    EU is beyond the point of tolerating the UKs shit. A deadline has been extended. It likely will not be extended a 2nd time. If that destroys the UK economy with a hard exit, with violence along the Irish border and Scotland seceding, so be it. We all reach the point where we tell the drama queen to STFU.

  127. 127
    Amir Khalid says:

    @Brachiator:
    One can acknowledge that a disliked locution is well-established in use, and still have good reason not to accept it.

  128. 128
    Immanentize says:

    @Ruckus:
    I wanted to thank you for the link to the log benches yea these so many days ago. That was some cool work and gave me lots of ideas. Watcos it is! Thanks

  129. 129
    WhatsMyNym says:

    Of course…

    Los Angeles lawyer Michael Avenatti was indicted Wednesday on charges of stealing from his former client Stormy Daniels by skimming money from her deal to write a memoir detailing her alleged sexual affair with Donald Trump.

  130. 130
  131. 131
    The Moar You Know says:

    I don’t recognize this nym. Are you a new Russian troll or our old comrade BiP?

    @Steve in the ATL: hope you’re joking, Ruckus has been here for years.

  132. 132

    @Martin: @Brachiator: So crash out into a hard exit? Wow. That’s going to hurt.

  133. 133
    Steve in the ATL says:

    @The Moar You Know: yes, I’m joking. I even had dinner with him in LA last year!

  134. 134
    Amir Khalid says:

    @Steve in the ATL:
    I do indeed feel that way. Qualifiers — adjectives, adverbs, intensifiers — can be weakened by overuse and misuse, and it’s good writing to avoid them unless they are strictly necessary to convey meaning.

  135. 135
    NotMax says:

    @Amir Khalid

    “Resistance is literally futile.”
      – Locution of Borg

    :)

  136. 136

    @Litlebritdifrnt:

    Just how stupid or short memoried does he think people are?

    Extremely. He will happily contradict himself within the same sentence and expect nobody to notice.

  137. 137
    rp says:

    I’m not a language pedant, but IMO, the misuse of “literally” is a little different from other misuses and malapropisms because the new meaning isn’t at all clear. Language is all about expressing thoughts and ideas, and it evolves because people find different ways of making themselves understood over time. So while “irregardless” isn’t a real word, it’s perfectly clear what someone means when they use it. But if someone says that smoke was literally coming out of his ears, is he using it to mean figuratively? Something in between literally and figuratively? I have no idea; I guess it’s just a generic term of emphasis. So I think there are sound reasons for insisting on the original meaning of literally.

  138. 138
    Steve in the ATL says:

    @Litlebritdifrnt:

    Just how stupid or short memoried does he think people are?

    He speaks only to his base, and you know how stupid they are

  139. 139
    Martin says:

    @Dorothy A. Winsor: Yep. Preventable in two ways:

    1) Don’t ask voters to choose between goals when you have no plans to achieve them.
    2) If your argument is that you respect the will of the voters, then don’t spend years acting as though their decision isn’t binding, and that some unicorn will descend from Saturn and save your ass. Refusing to accept the voters will is the opposite of respecting the voters. You might as well at that point come out and say ‘we don’t believe you’ and do what you want anyway.

  140. 140
    TomatoQueen says:

    Yes, but why a milkshake?

    I have been instructed by my Geordie friends, denizens of that long-standing bastion of labor activism, to proclaim to the world:

    The Revolution Will Be Pasteurised.

    Now gimme another 405 error, FYWP.

  141. 141
    Amir Khalid says:

    @Dorothy A. Winsor:
    May seems fixated on one particular plan which everyone else in Britain* hates, and keeps frittering time away trying to get it approved.

    *and elsewhere

  142. 142
    Gelfling 545 says:

    @Steve in the ATL: Merriam Webster, I believe and even the OED is entertaining some pretty flexible definitions these days.

  143. 143
    TenguPhule says:

    @Yutsano:

    How many spies do you think are doubling up as waitstaff at his resort now? Hell how many do you think weren’t at first but then got offers of dosh by their home governments to do a little listening around his table and room?

    All of em, Katie.

  144. 144
    NotMax says:

    @TomatoQueen

    Tactic began a few weeks ago. Presumably less cumbersome to carry around than is a pie?

  145. 145
    Brachiator says:

    @Amir Khalid:

    One can acknowledge that a disliked locution is well-established in use, and still have good reason not to accept it.

    I find it amusing that some get so hung up on these matters. English usage changes constantly. And there are tons of words that no longer “mean” what they originally meant. When someone starts chewing tenaciously on a particular word, I wonder why they ignore so many others that might easily merit an exhalation of pedantic fury.

    OTOH, here’s a small example of constancy:

    The English Word That Hasn’t Changed in Sound or Meaning in 8,000 Years

    Lox.

    “The pronunciation in the Proto-Indo-European was probably ‘lox,’ and that’s exactly how it is pronounced in modern English,” he says. “Then, it meant salmon, and now it specifically means ‘smoked salmon.’ It’s really cool that that word hasn’t changed its pronunciation at all in 8,000 years and still refers to a particular fish.”

  146. 146
    zhena gogolia says:

    @rp:

    Does smoke ever come out of anyone’s ears in real life? Outside the context of a tragic accident?

    I don’t use “literally” this way, but I don’t think anyone is in doubt about what it means. It’s an intensifier.

  147. 147
    TenguPhule says:

    @Litlebritdifrnt:

    Just how stupid or short memoried does he think people are?

    How much time have you got?

  148. 148
    Jay says:

    @Dorothy A. Winsor:

    Elections, new referendum or Hard Brexit. Clock is ticking, last deadline is All Hallows Eve.

  149. 149
    trollhattan says:

    @Dorothy A. Winsor:
    I’m guessing a second referendum before that happens.

    If an up/down on a detailed Brexit plan it becomes a no vote.
    If a more than two-choice vote, who the hell can guess?

  150. 150
    Brachiator says:

    @TomatoQueen:

    I have been instructed by my Geordie friends

    I loved this little bit from the program QI:

    Stephen is defeated by a Newcastle Accent

  151. 151
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Steve in the ATL: You poor son of a bitch.

  152. 152
  153. 153

    @Brachiator: I will never be reconciled to “gift” as a verb. “He gifted us a plant.” I cringe just typing that.

  154. 154
    PJ says:

    @Immanentize: What bugs me about “nonplus” is that it is primarily journalists who misuse it to mean “unfazed.” (And they usually spell “faze” as “phase.”) In fact, journalists seem to be some of the worst writers one encounters; I am guessing this is because editors were jettisoned with the spread of the internet.

  155. 155
    mrmoshpotato says:

    @LuciaMia: Why milkshakes? Because the whole cow was too heavy.

    I. Throw. My. MILKSHAKE! At. Fascist. Farage! I throw it all!

  156. 156
    Amir Khalid says:

    @rp:
    In certain circumstances, I believe, it is physically possible to have smoke pouring out of one’s ears. When you say/write “smoke was literally pouring out of his ears”, I am compelled to stop (however briefly) and work out whether you literally mean that literally: a needless and avoidable impediment.

  157. 157

    @zhena gogolia: I sometimes find myself having to clarify “actually literally,” but I can’t say this has ever bugged me.

  158. 158
    joel hanes says:

    Having been strongly chided in this very forum for pedantry, I have taken a vow to apply my pedant’s standards to the writing of my own comments, and to remain silent about other people’s diction.

  159. 159
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @TomatoQueen: I told you once.

  160. 160
    joel hanes says:

    @Dorothy A. Winsor:

    hard exit? Wow. That’s going to hurt.

    Yes. Yes it is.
    But like our Republicans, the Brexiteers will blame everyone but themselves for their pain.

  161. 161
    PJ says:

    @Dorothy A. Winsor: And “ask” is now a noun.

  162. 162
    joel hanes says:

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    I told you once.

    I told you twice.
    Any time of year is nice
    For sipping chicken soup with rice

  163. 163
    Martin says:

    @zhena gogolia:

    Does smoke ever come out of anyone’s ears in real life?

    Yes.

    Outside the context of a tragic accident?

    Electric chair. Literally not an accident.

  164. 164
    joel hanes says:

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    I told you once.

    What I tell you three times is true

  165. 165
    NotMax says:

    @Dorothy A. Winsor

    Much gnashing of teeth ensues whenever “free gift” is encountered

  166. 166
    Ladyraxterinok says:

    @Gelfling 545: Hunpty Dumpty in Through the Lookingglass (right Alice book?). Doesn’t he say ‘these are my words, they mean what I want them to mean’

  167. 167
    rikyrah says:

    Man….I wish that trick would 😠😠😠

    Natalie Andrews (@nataliewsj) Tweeted:
    After Trump walked out, Pelosi talked to Dems. Kellyanne Conway asked her if she had a response forthe president.
    Pelosi told Conway: I’m responding to the president, not staff.

    As everyone was leaving, Conway told Pelosi: “that’s really pro-woman of you”
    -per source familiar https://twitter.com/nataliewsj/status/1131263435449262085?s=17

  168. 168
    Steve in the ATL says:

    @Dorothy A. Winsor: I still refuse to accept “loan” as a verb. Sorry loan, that job is already held by lend.

  169. 169
    joel hanes says:

    @Ladyraxterinok:

    There’s glory for you!

  170. 170
    Enhanced Voting Techniques says:

    @Yutsano:

    Heck just look at Mar-A-Lago. Dolt45 LOVES his HB-1 visa holders. How many spies do you think are doubling up as waitstaff at his resort now

    That’s just good business sense on Trump’s part, foreign spies work cheep /Fox and Friends.

  171. 171
    boatboy_srq says:

    @Steve in the ATL: Newspeak 2.0.

  172. 172
    rikyrah says:

    @WhatsMyNym:

    Los Angeles lawyer Michael Avenatti was indicted Wednesday on charges of stealing from his former client Stormy Daniels by skimming money from her deal to write a memoir detailing her alleged sexual affair with Donald Trump.

    He didn’t stay in his lane.

  173. 173
    boatboy_srq says:

    @Dorothy A. Winsor: Try “ask” and “spend” as nouns.

    /kids-these-days

  174. 174
    Steve in the ATL says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: my therapist says I’m making progress

    @zhena gogolia: that is an excellent discussion. Delete the link before Raven shows up, though

    @joel hanes:

    I have taken a vow to apply my pedant’s standards to the writing of my own comments, and to remain silent about other people’s diction.

    You, sir, are clearly not B-J material!

  175. 175
    rp says:

    @Amir Khalid: Exactly. There’s a 99.999% chance that smoke isn’t actually coming out of the person’s ears, but it clouds the meaning, even if just for a split second.

    Another problem with this misuse of the word is that it now has two meanings that are diametrically opposed. There are other english words like this (cleave, dust), but it’s not ideal.

  176. 176
    Amir Khalid says:

    @NotMax:
    If it’s included in the price, it’s not free and it’s not a gift.

  177. 177
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Steve in the ATL: Or borrow.

  178. 178
    mrmoshpotato says:

    @Steve in the ATL:

    Which dictionary? OED or GTFO!

    Well, don’t keep us in suspenders! Tell us which one. I’m partial to GTFO. So many volumes!

  179. 179
    Immanentize says:

    @boatboy_srq:
    Itch and scratch? The confusion of those two made my wife mad

  180. 180
    Steve in the ATL says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: Friends, Romans, countrymen, borrow me your ears!

  181. 181
    Immanentize says:

    @rp:
    Look, I’ve seen the Three Stooges and smoke literally comes out of their ears.

  182. 182
    Steve in the ATL says:

    @Immanentize: that’s another hot button issue for me!

    @mrmoshpotato: lol

    @rp: there’s an 8 pm thread scheduled for “flammable” versus “inflammable”

  183. 183

    @Dorothy A. Winsor:

    I don’t do either thing and I’m probably the only one who cares.

    You might be surprised; I notice that kind of thing when the author includes it and occasionally when they come up with some circumlocution to avoid it. My personal pet peeve in works of fantasy is archers being commanded to fire their bows; the actual command would be “loose” rather than “fire”.

  184. 184
    Ladyraxterinok says:

    @Major Major Major Major: I’ve read that.

    It contradicts what people used to say/believe–that women maintained traditional language usage and preserved the language against change.

  185. 185
    Sebastian says:

    I am warming up to the idea of the milkshake being the perfect response to fascists. It is intimidating, perfectly deniable threat of “violence” in the form of instant ridicule (the worst that can happen to these 2nd tier blowhards).

    Milo, Shapiro, Spencer, d’Sauce, … Lots of people this side of the Atlantic deserving of splatter.

  186. 186
    Ladyraxterinok says:

    @Immanentize: Read it was more than that.

  187. 187
    Immanentize says:

    @Ladyraxterinok:
    Well that all changed with the 19th amendment, didn’t it?

    My Grandmother and many of her female relatives were (post-)Victorian teachers in primary and secondary education. My goodness did they keep the flame of grammar regularity burning!

  188. 188
    rikyrah says:

    @Jay:

    Elections, new referendum or Hard Brexit. Clock is ticking, last deadline is All Hallows Eve.

    New referendum with the clear explanation of what Brexit would mean. Too many of the deluded were sold a bill of goods. Don’t give them an excuse. Tell them what Brexit REALLY means, and see if they vote for it again. I’ve told you – especially after they found out the shady shyt behind Brexit, why a re-vote wasn’t the obvious choice….

  189. 189
    Immanentize says:

    @Ladyraxterinok: It is, but I am trying to be conservative in this discussion and not just make up numbers like Trump and Giuliani.

  190. 190

    @The Moar You Know:

    hope you’re joking, Ruckus has been here for years.

    And he has been a regular at LA area meetups, so there are plenty of us who can vouch that he’s an actual person who lives in the LA area.

  191. 191
    rikyrah says:

    @Sebastian:

    I am warming up to the idea of the milkshake being the perfect response to fascists. It is intimidating, perfectly deniable threat of “violence” in the form of instant ridicule (the worst that can happen to these 2nd tier blowhards)

    I like it too..just enough mockery to be hilarious and on point.

  192. 192
    mrmoshpotato says:

    @NotMax:

    Much gnashing of teeth ensues whenever “free gift” is encountered

    It’s not a gift if you pay for it. Duh!

  193. 193
    germy says:

    1) We do not forget @MichaelCohen212 who is currently serving his sentence and away from his family and friends. Lets remind him we are grateful for his bravery, as he has been the only person to stand up and tell the truth in this entire matter – in contrast to @realDonaldTrump— Lanny Davis (@LannyDavis) May 20, 2019

    Are you fucking kidding me!? While I appreciate Cohen coming clean (eventually), he's NOT the honest one in this story. He wouldn't know bravery if it kicked him in the teeth. This is the most insulting thing I've read on Twitter which is saying a lot if you read my timeline. https://t.co/e8ekJrckn9— Stormy Daniels (@StormyDaniels) May 20, 2019

  194. 194
    TomatoQueen says:

    @NotMax: Or stottie, which I hear tends to be somewhat heavy.

  195. 195
    Citizen Alan says:

    @Steve in the ATL:

    Using a word that means literally the opposite of what you are trying to say creates more confusion that using a homonym, and is therefore a greater offense.

    Horsefeathers. Anyone who would understand the word “literally” enough to even think it’s being used incorrectly is almost certainly also literate enough to know from context when it’s being used in its literal sense or merely as hyperbole. And in fact, Merriam-Webster has said for over a century now that the word is “often used hyperbolically; as, he literally flew.”

  196. 196
    mrmoshpotato says:

    @boatboy_srq:

    Try “ask” and “spend” as nouns.

    I’d rather not, and you can’t make me.

  197. 197
    Sebastian says:

    @rikyrah:

    You know, Buttigieg’s statement about us not being able to look away from the grotesque made me think. All these assholes are grotesque to a varying degree. Milo, Trump, Spencer, Shapiro, Dobbs, Hannity, … all of them. But TV or a set stage gives them some sort of halo or image and attraction that is hard to describe. It’s almost like a spell.

    Throwing milkshake at it breaks that spell in a way that doesn’t work when done to a serious person and it immediately resets perception to reality.

  198. 198

    @PJ:

    And “ask” is now a noun.

    English words change their part of speech. It’s a way we do things; get used to it.

  199. 199
    Wapiti says:

    @zhena gogolia: Does smoke ever come out of anyone’s ears in real life?

    That reminds me of a horrifying story I heard in the Army, from guys back from Haiti. Where they tried to get help for some poor guy who got run over by an Army truck and when they called the medics saying the guy was wrapped around the axle, the medical unit wanted to send a psychiatrist to talk the guy down. “No, no, listen to me, he’s literally wrapped around the axle.” Yeah, saying “literally” still didn’t get the message though.

  200. 200

    @NotMax:

    Much gnashing of teeth ensues whenever “free gift” is encountered

    Would you like to join the Society to Stamp Out and Eradicate Unnecessary Pleonasm?

  201. 201
    Yutsano says:

    @Amir Khalid: We’re gonna reignite the Oxford comma debate aren’t we?

  202. 202
    Amir Khalid says:

    The war against nouning verbs and verbing nouns* was lost centuries ago. (Read your collected works of Shakespeare: Will was doing it back in the 16th.) We all do it now, much more often than we realise. It’s the newer examples that our ears and eyes find jarrng. I try to avoid doing that to a reader/listener, but the reality is that some of the new coinages will inevitably become widely accepted, and protesting them would then make one an old person scolding the clouds.

    *See what I did there?

  203. 203
    TomatoQueen says:

    @Brachiator: That one were lovely. I always think of Stephen as a canny lad & once again wonder whether he’s playing along or actually tripped.

  204. 204
    Brachiator says:

    @PJ:

    And “ask” is now a noun.

    As is “tell.”

  205. 205
    TomatoQueen says:

    @Yutsano: I’mma stand right here in support of the Oxford comma, with arms folded, and mallets toward none.

  206. 206
    Amir Khalid says:

    On the subject of milkshakes: If you obtained yours at McDonald’s or a similar establishent, it wasn’t made with milk.

  207. 207
  208. 208
    cckids says:

    @Ladyraxterinok: “When I use a word, it means exactly what I want it to mean. Neither more, nor less.” – H.D.

  209. 209
    Amir Khalid says:

    Many a jackal describes themselves as an “old”, and thus nouns an adjective.

  210. 210

    @Yutsano:

    Heck just look at Mar-A-Lago. Dolt45 LOVES his HB-1 visa holders.

    I sincerely doubt the workers at Mar a Lago have H-1B visas, which are for professional workers in fields where a job requires a bachelors degree or higher. Most of the immigrants at Mar a Lago who actually have legal working papers are probably H-2B (seasonal non-agricultural workers).

  211. 211
    Amir Khalid says:

    @Yutsano:
    Sure, why not?

  212. 212
    germy says:

    Literally, adv. Figuratively, as: ‘‘The pond was literally full of fish’’; ‘‘The ground was literally alive with snakes,’’ etc.

    (Ambrose Bierce, The Devil’s Dictionary)

  213. 213
    jl says:

    @Amir Khalid: Thomas Jefferson said English should adopt that kind of grammar. So, it’s the patriotic thing to do.

  214. 214
    Brachiator says:

    @Amir Khalid:

    On the subject of milkshakes: If you obtained yours at McDonald’s or a similar establishent, it wasn’t made with milk.

    I’ve rarely seen a milkshake shaken anymore.

    Actually or literally.

  215. 215
    CapnMubbers says:

    @TomatoQueen: Back to back with you, we’ll hold ‘em off!

  216. 216
    germy says:

    Does anyone remember Egg Cream?

    An egg cream is a cold beverage consisting of milk, carbonated water, and flavored syrup (typically chocolate or vanilla).

  217. 217
    Amir Khalid says:

    @Brachiator:

    some get so hung up on these matters.

    Shades of meaning are important. Also too, pedantry is fun and gratifying for the pedant.

  218. 218
    germy says:

    The bank’s decisive improvement in its processes in the autumn enabled employees in the Anti-Financial Crime department to notice that a software program was not working properly. Deutsche Bank is working hard to rectify the error as swiftly as possible
    https://t.co/ymLHp13mdz
    — Deutsche Bank ❤️🇪🇺 (@DeutscheBank) May 22, 2019

    “Your patience at this time is appreciated.”

  219. 219
    Chris T. says:

    @Steve in the ATL:

    Which dictionary? OED or GTFO!

    Yes, I always use the Greater Than the F***ing Oxford dictionary too! //

  220. 220
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Steve in the ATL: You see this cat Shaft is a bad mother (Shut your mouth)

    But I’m talkin’ about Shaft (Then we can dig it)

  221. 221
    Amir Khalid says:

    @Brachiator:
    The modern “milkshake” is not shaken inside the machine; it is stirred. This, I believe, is why you will never see James Bond ordering one.

  222. 222
    joel hanes says:

    Verbing weirds nouns.

  223. 223
    TenguPhule says:

    @Steve in the ATL: Do we need to stage an intervention?

  224. 224
    NotMax says:

    @germy

    Unless made with Fox’s U-bet brand syrup and seltzer, it’s a wanna be egg cream.

  225. 225
    Barbara says:

    @germy: Germany has a lot to answer for in working so hard to protect DB from the natural consequences of its greed, dishonesty and incompetence. Just another day in the life of a bank its national government won’t let fail.

  226. 226
    NotMax says:

    @Amir Khalid

    Milkshimmy.

    ;)

  227. 227
    Gin & Tonic says:

    @germy: Of course I do. Used to always be able to get one at Gem Spa, on the corner of 2nd Ave and St Mark’s.

  228. 228
    Gin & Tonic says:

    @Amir Khalid: In RI, the drink made with ice cream, flavored syrup and milk is called a “cabinet.” In Mass it’s called a “frappe.”

  229. 229
    Amir Khalid says:

    @germy:
    I think I read somewhere that the “egg” in that name actually comes from echt, the German (or maybe Yiddish) for “real”.

  230. 230
    Jay says:

    @rikyrah:

    That would be quite the Referendum.

    Explaining May’s NotReallyBrexit would take up about 1500 words to explain the effects and consequences,

    With another 1500 words spelling out what would have to be negotiated with the EU in the future, ( the can kicked down the road),

    A 500 word, several paragraphs long explainer that as far as the EU is concerned, the only deal on the table,

    Another 1500 word section on the consequences and effects of a hard Brexit, and how a vote to leave + Parliement means May’s NotReallyBrexit is DOA and Hard Brexit is the result.

    Then explaining Remain, and that no, this does not allow the EU to “dictate” to the UK, instead the UK has always dictated to the EU,

    And then another explainer that none of the Brexiteers Rainbow Skittles Farting White Flying Unicorn fantasies are real.

    Basically what some of the MSM and what Remain has been trying to explain to the voters for years now, to no avail.

    Ain’t gonna work.

    Simpler proposal:

    [_] Leave- Fuck Up Britain and it’s People Forever.

    [_] Remain- Forget all this happened and let’s go back to 6% growth.

  231. 231
    Ladyraxterinok says:

    @Amir Khalid: 1)’that’s a real tell’ 2) ‘this book is a good read’

  232. 232
    tokyokie says:

    @Amir Khalid:

    Misusing a homonym suggests carelessness/ignorance/both on the writer’s part, which makes me think I am wasting my time by reading them at all. I suppose deciding which bad writing habits to hate more dearly is a matter of personal taste.

    Your sew write!

  233. 233
    TenguPhule says:

    Proposed HUD rule would strip transgender protections at homeless shelters

    The change would allow federally funded shelters to deny people admission on religious grounds or force transgender women to share bathrooms and sleeping quarters with men.

    I see Pence had a quiet word with Ben Carson that he’s been holding down the Trumpster average when it comes to crimes against the American public.

  234. 234
    zhena gogolia says:

    @Amir Khalid:

    How about “mentee”? That’s my latest pet peeve. There is no verb “to ment.”

  235. 235
    TenguPhule says:

    @Jay:

    Simpler proposal:

    [_] Leave- Fuck Up Britain and it’s People Forever.

    [_] Remain- Forget all this happened and let’s go back to 6% growth.

    Sadly, nobody trusts the British public to pick option two by a decisive margin.

  236. 236
    ThresherK says:

    @NotMax: You mean I spent all that time making chocolate syrup from scratch for nothing?

  237. 237
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @zhena gogolia: But the word “mentir” means “to lie” in French. Does that help?

  238. 238
    Ladyraxterinok says:

    @germy: Or a black cow. Mom (1913-2005)grew up in St Louis where she learned to like these–pour root beer over vanilla ice cream. Also peanut butter- sliced banana sandwiches.

  239. 239
    NotMax says:

    @zhena gogolia

    pet peeve

    Some of us (raises hand) go through Purina Peeve Chow by the barrelful.

    ;)

  240. 240
    Jay says:

    “A web of far-right Facebook accounts spreading fake news and hate speech to millions of people across Europe has been uncovered by the campaign group Avaaz.

    Facebook, which is struggling to clean up the platform and salvage its reputation, has already taken down accounts with about 6 million followers before voting in the European elections begins on Thursday. It was still investigating hundreds of other accounts with an additional 26 million followers, Avaaz said.

    In total, the group reported more than 500 suspect groups and Facebook pages operating across France, Germany, Italy, the UK, Poland and Spain. Most were either spreading fake news or using false pages and profiles to artificially boost the content of parties or sites they supported, in violation of Facebook’s rules.

    The networks were far more popular than the official pages of far-right and anti-EU populist groups in those countries. The pages taken down by Facebook so far had been viewed half a billion times, Avaaz estimated.”

    https://www.theguardian.com/world/2019/may/22/far-right-facebook-groups-spreading-hate-to-millions-in-europe

  241. 241
    Uncle Cosmo says:

    @TomatoQueen: The woman leaves an order with the milkman for 30 gallons of whole milk.

    Milkman notes that that’s a lot of milk for someone who lives alone.

    Woman replies that she intends to bathe in the milk as a beauty treatment.

    Milkman says OK, do you want that pasteurized?

    Woman replies No, just up to my armpits** will be fine.

    /rimshot

    ** Not the original but I ain’t going there.

  242. 242

    @Jay:

    Explaining May’s NotReallyBrexit would take up about 1500 words to explain the effects and consequences

    As a Californian, I laugh at your 1500 words. My most recent ballot pamphlet was over 200 pages. Considering Brexit is likely to be the most important thing any British voter ever votes on, they should be willing to muster the effort to read a few pages.

  243. 243
    Ruckus says:

    @Brachiator:
    Not quite sure why it’s confusing that it makes no sense. It’s conservative “think.” There is need to make sense, actually if it made sense, it couldn’t be a conservative idea/ideal.

  244. 244
    Aleta says:

    The oreo thing pisses me off bc after he misheard/got confused/whatever, it seems to me like the GOP handlers/PR people probably had the stupid racist idea to turn it around w/ a joke. I bet they told him to stand out there with a package of oreos for the laugh. I doubt it was his idea and no matter how bad he is, to me it’s an ugly racist image that Repubs are also laughing about. But just my opinion.

  245. 245
    Jay says:

    @TenguPhule:

    It’s a stark choice they would have to make on the ballot, as opposed to fantasies,

    Might narrow the vote a little.

  246. 246

    @Ladyraxterinok:

    pour root beer over vanilla ice cream.

    Isn’t that what most of us call a root beer float?

  247. 247
    Jay says:

    @Roger Moore:

    They havn’t bothered to read a few pages in the past two years.

  248. 248
    tokyokie says:

    @NotMax:

    Much gnashing of teeth ensues whenever “free gift” is encountered

    “Added bonus” is the usage that irks me.

  249. 249
    chris says:

    @Amir Khalid:

    See what I did there?

    I did! Very impactful.

  250. 250
    Amir Khalid says:

    @zhena gogolia:
    “Mentee” makes me think of an aquatic mammal. One mentors (or is mentor to, if one disapproves of verbing a noun) a protege(e). It also bugs me that some are unaware of the difference between a protege (male) and a protegee (female), or between a fiance and a fiancee.

  251. 251
    mrmoshpotato says:

    @tokyokie: How would you know the bonus was added if they didn’t tell you? 😁

  252. 252
    zhena gogolia says:

    @Amir Khalid:

    I had to sit through a meeting where the word “mentee” was shouted over and over by the chair. I just wanted to curl up and die. literally //

  253. 253
    NotMax says:

    @Roger Moore

    A root beer float put through a milkshake blender is a Black Cow. Either root beer or cola, plus syrup for an original Black Cow.

  254. 254
    Enhanced Voting Techniques says:

    @Aleta:
    So it’s case of House N***er privilege? Sort of like Rape Enablers?

    0o,…

    America can sure show some diversity in it’s racism.

  255. 255

    @NotMax: @tokyokie: I’m particularly irked by “PIN number” (“Personal Identification Number number”), “ATM machine” (“Automatic Teller Machine machine”), “IRA account” (“Individual Retirement Account account”), and the like. (My current job is finance-adjacent, and I hear the latter dozens of times every day I work. It’s like fingernails on a chalkboard.)

    Regarding “literally”, my choice to clarify my meaning is “literally, not figuratively”, which doubles as a nice Archer reference.

  256. 256
  257. 257
    NotMax says:

    @zhena gogolia

    Troops of the Roman empire were imperatees.

    :)

  258. 258
    Immanentize says:

    @Aleta: I thought exactly the same thing. At first, I felt sympathetic to Carson because I am sure he has heard “Oreo” a lot in a mean way. But then his photo op with Oreos? Mother Fuck him.

  259. 259
    NotMax says:

    @(((CassandraLeo)))

    All those also too as well.

    ;)

  260. 260
    rikyrah says:

    @Jay:
    Works for me 👍

  261. 261
  262. 262
    Jackie says:

    Has anyone mentioned “those or these ones?” 🤦🏼‍♀️

  263. 263
    Immanentize says:

    @Brachiator:
    A milk shake in Boston at any worthy Spa is still milk shook (or blended) with flavor — no ice cream. That would be a frappe.

  264. 264
  265. 265
    Immanentize says:

    @NotMax:
    I knew you would be all over the egg cream issue.

  266. 266
    Kay says:

    @rikyrah:

    Pelosi told Conway: I’m responding to the president, not staff.

    Pelosi is right though. She’s not Trump’s employee. Trump met with Pelosi. Pelosi responds to Trump, not Conway. I realize the big crybaby ran out to tell the NYTimes that she was mean to him and didn’t whine to Pelosi directly, but that doesn’t change how it’s done on Pelosi’s end.

    The low quality hires have been on the public payroll a while now. One would think they would have figured some of this out.

  267. 267
    Immanentize says:

    @zhena gogolia:
    Mentos?
    The fresh maker?

  268. 268
    Immanentize says:

    @(((CassandraLeo))):
    Rio Grande river?

  269. 269

    @Kay: Yeah, the co-equal branch of government is kind of basic.

  270. 270
    debbie says:

    @Dorothy A. Winsor:

    I don’t cringe, I rage whenever I hear “curate” being misused. And it’s misused quite a lot.

  271. 271
    Jay says:

    #DonJrBookTitles is killing it on Twitter.

  272. 272

    I have to leave for my writers crit group meeting any minute, and the restaurant here had Mexican night, and there were margaritas. Holy moly. I have no body mass. All it takes is one. I can always tell people to get rid of the soft modifiers.

  273. 273
    Kay says:

    @🐾BillinGlendaleCA:

    It’s the bullying game playing bullshit that these people think is a big tough power play. What did they gain by disrespecting her? They really think she’s intimidated by Trump sending the staff in demanding a response? That puts her in a lesser position?
    Why don’t they just figure out how to do their jobs properly and do them? Why are they all so silly and petty?

  274. 274
    Aleta says:

    The redesign of the $20 bill featuring Harriet Tubman will no longer be unveiled in 2020, Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin says.
    The unveiling had been timed to coincide with the 100th anniversary of the 19th Amendment, which granted women the right to vote. Mnuchin said that the design process has been delayed, and no new imagery will be unveiled until 2028.

    What is the constitutional procedure for citizens to follow in throwing a cabinet member off the back of an ocean freighter?

  275. 275
    debbie says:

    @rikyrah:

    Conway told Pelosi: “that’s really pro-woman of you

    Nancy should have responded, “It takes more than being female to be pro-woman.”

  276. 276
    Jay says:

    @Aleta:

    Constitutional rules require that you throw him straight off the bow of a moving freighter,

  277. 277
    Sab says:

    @Jackie: Or less v fewer.

  278. 278
    Immanentize says:

    @Dorothy A. Winsor:

    I can always tell people to get rid of the soft modifiers

    Excellent advice. Pass the salt shaker….

  279. 279
    Barbara says:

    @debbie: “I am not required to subjugate myself like you do.” Conway is a nasty piece of work.

  280. 280
    Immanentize says:

    @Aleta:
    I prefer the Czech version, defenestration.

  281. 281
    Sebastian says:

    Speaking of headlines and mad libs I have a confession to make. My guilty pleasure is to read the Palmer Report. Yes yes, I know.

    But BP just brought up something very interesting. Remember the call from Blocked Number that Jr did after the Trump Tower meeting? It was assumed that he called Sr but then an inkcloud of facts was squirted and turned into two phone calls. One to some Nascar guy and another one. But no call to Sr.

    But today in the Rose Garden Trump babbled about THREE phone calls.

    Oops.

    I can’t believe this is all real.

    https://www.palmerreport.com/analysis/confession-white-house-lawn-trump-russia/18154/

  282. 282
    Comrade Colette Collaboratrice says:

    @Dorothy A. Winsor:

    I will never be reconciled to “gift” as a verb. “He gifted us a plant.” I cringe just typing that.

    Ugh! Yes! That one makes my teeth itch. The usage perversions that most annoy me are ones that substitute something clankingly pretentious for a perfectly good English word, the meaning of which has not drifted, so that nothing – no nuance, no shade, NOTHING – is gained. Another such is “visioning,” now coded into many public planning documents that blither on about the “visioning process” and “the outcome of community visioning efforts.” Vision. Is. Not. A. Verb.

  283. 283
    NotMax says:

    @debbie

    Yeah, TCM has become especially vexing when it comes to that. One might even say “indocent.”

    ;)

  284. 284
    Kay says:

    @debbie:

    They’re still struggling with the whole feminism concept. They think it means all women are the same. Like how we would all vote for Sarah Palin because we are girls and she’s a girl.

    Asking them to combine “equality” with the norm that the two leaders speak directly to each other and not to intermediaries and to hold both of those ideas at the same time is too hard.

  285. 285
  286. 286
    Kay says:

    @debbie:

    Like you can have a girl boss and you are a girl and she’s still your boss and you both can be feminists, and you still can’t order her around. Everyone else got this in 1921 but conservatives are still struggling to navigate these concepts and hold two ideas at once.

  287. 287
    Steve in the ATL says:

    @Sab:

    Or less v fewer.

    I step away for a minute and am beaten to the punch!

    @TenguPhule:

    Do we need to stage an intervention?

    Probably. I almost kicked the HR girl out of the bargaining room today for saying “between” rather than “among” when talking about multiple parties.

  288. 288
    debbie says:

    @Kay:

    LOL, right. I almost hemorrhaged every time I heard Sarah Palin declare she was a feminist and then insist only true feminists were pro-Life.

  289. 289
    NotMax says:

    @Immanentize

    Muscle memory from occasionally filling in part-time behind the soda fountain at relatives’ bungalow colony in the Catskills when I was still in single digits. Hershey’s (if present at all) was for topping, Fox’s for mixing.

  290. 290
    Steve in the ATL says:

    Are we deep enough into this thread for me to mention the flagrant and indefensible misuse of “due to” where “owing to” is the proper phrase?

    Completely unrelated to this discussion, I just tasked the flight attendant with bringing me another glass of wine.

  291. 291
    Immanentize says:

    @Steve in the ATL:
    Hey, that was my mortal sin yesterday! Give her a break, blame me.

    ETA. HR girl?! Really?

  292. 292
    Immanentize says:

    @NotMax:
    OMG. The Catskills? Near the bouncing ball? Or Liberty dinner?

  293. 293
    NotMax says:

    @Steve in the ATL

    Extra brownie points if you said “Wine me.”

    :)

  294. 294
    Immanentize says:

    @NotMax:
    So fine

  295. 295
    Steve in the ATL says:

    @Immanentize: @NotMax: hey, I thought I was doing good (lol) to say “flight attendant” rather than “waitress in the sky”

  296. 296
    Steve in the ATL says:

    @Immanentize:

    ETA. HR girl?! Really?

    You know I did that intentionally. And with malice aforethought.

  297. 297
    Immanentize says:

    @Steve in the ATL:
    You are not old enough to be living in the 70s. Southwest Go Go.

  298. 298
    Immanentize says:

    @Steve in the ATL:
    He says in his deposition….

  299. 299
  300. 300
    J R in WV says:

    @zhena gogolia:

    Joe Biden constantly uses the word “literally” this way.

    Don’t you mean “Joe Biden LITERALLY uses the word “literally” this way, constantly.”

    ;-)

    Also, Nancy Pelosi did literally blow shit up today when she spoke of Trump’s coverup, if “shit” means the Oval Office meeting, and “blow up” is metephorical…. ;-) again.

  301. 301
    NotMax says:

    @Immanentize

    Without pinpointing it further, close to and above Harriman. Trips to and from the Catskills included a mandatory rest stop at the Red Apple Rest.

    Bungalow colony still in business, although things got shaky for a while as the clientele aged out and/or moved to Florida. Now many descended from those choose to escape Florida during the summer.

  302. 302
    Aleta says:

    @Steve in the ATL: Ouch. I get it though. Safer to plagiarize.

  303. 303
    Immanentize says:

    @wasabi gasp:
    Are you referring to Journey-o Styx Wagon?

  304. 304
    mrmoshpotato says:

    @(((CassandraLeo))):

    I’m particularly irked by…

    Take it up with the Department of Redundancy Department!

  305. 305
    Immanentize says:

    @NotMax:
    I may do a retro trip with the Immp. Catskills. Niagra Falls. Poconos.

    You aren’t suggesting it was a Red Camp? (where a bunch of my friends spent their summer singing songs of resistance.)

  306. 306
    Steve in the ATL says:

    @(((CassandraLeo))):

    Regarding “literally”, my choice to clarify my meaning is “literally, not figuratively”, which doubles as a nice Archer reference.

    Moi aussi!

  307. 307
    Aleta says:

    @Immanentize: OMG you busted him.

    Everyone’s switching to emojis anyway.

  308. 308
    Steve in the ATL says:

    @Immanentize: my parents divorced in the early seventies and I racked up boocoo (is that the right spelling?) frequent flier miles before I hit double digits in age. Sadly, the memory of smoke-filled cabins is far stronger than that of killer stewardess outfits.

  309. 309

    As long as we’re dealing with redundancies, “due to the fact that” is quite an unwieldy way to say “because”, but people use it all the time. I’m probably guilty of it myself, largely because I hear it so often (again, finance-adjacent job, and finance people use this kind of unwieldy speech all the time).

    @NotMax: “Also, too” is at least a good way to clown on Sarah Palin, so I will confess to my share of using that one.

    @Immanentize: Defenestration is really a word that deserves many more usages than it gets. A rather large number of Dump administration* officials are in need of good defenestrations, at least figuratively.

    @Dorothy A. Winsor: @Comrade Colette Collaboratrice: “Gift” as verb seems to originate from law and finance, where it has a specific definition as shorthand for the legal process of transferring property or cash, which amongst other things can have tax consequences. Gift as verb is generally associated with a specific, strategic planning process regarding tax incentives (which is generally a fairly pernicious one on a societal level). I’ve given up on fighting this particular usage, though, like so much other financial jargon, it still grates on my ears. However, it’s also drifted well beyond that particular usage, and I will fight any other such usage vigorously.

    @Immanentize: That one too! Of course, if we were to get into redundancies born of Americans’ ignorance of foreign languages, we could be here awhile.

  310. 310

    …stuck in moderation. I think i replied to too many other people’s comments. halp plz kthx

  311. 311
    zhena gogolia says:

    @NotMax:

    You don’t want your Ingrid Bergman cabernet sauvignon curated? What’s wrong with you?

  312. 312

    @Steve in the ATL:

    boocoo (is that the right spelling?)

    Beaucoup. It’s from French.

  313. 313
    Steve in the ATL says:

    @Roger Moore: thank you. I had no idea.

  314. 314
    zhena gogolia says:

    @Steve in the ATL:

    You’re cracking me up, because my half-brother used to say “boocoo” all the time. I haven’t heard it in many years.

  315. 315
    Immanentize says:

    @Steve in the ATL:
    Are you a good man? Why no, you are a bad man😎

  316. 316
    Brachiator says:

    @TenguPhule:

    Proposed HUD rule would strip transgender protections at homeless shelters

    The change would allow federally funded shelters to deny people admission on religious grounds or force transgender women to share bathrooms and sleeping quarters with men.

    I hate these people. If I was religious, I would hope that they burn in hell.

    This administration specializes in cruelty. They have been cruel to immigrants. They are being cruel to transgender people, under cover of religious freedom.

    And as another poster has noted, Trump and his goons are determined to erase transgender people by insisting that their identity is an illusion or an error. They insist that there is only biological sex determined at birth based on genitalia.

    We have to vote all these people out of office and cleanse federal agencies of their stink.

  317. 317
    Sab says:

    I have been chortling here for hours. My husband thinks I have lost my mind. What is so funny? Grammar and puns. Meanwhile he’s watching Family Guy ( I do love Brian and Meg.)

  318. 318
    Steve in the ATL says:

    @Sab: I had to quit watching after I realized that one of the voice actors was a college mate. Guy was funny but a real asshole.

  319. 319
    Sab says:

    @Steve in the ATL: I can relate to that. I briefly dated Caleb Carr in college. He had a crush on me from afar. One of the more unpleasant people I have met in my life. Two weeks and we both came to our senses.

  320. 320
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Sab: Apparently the most common thing yelled at Mila Kunis by fans is “Shut up, Meg!”

  321. 321
    Sab says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: I love Meg. I was the middle sister. My big sister loved my baby brother. Then ther was me.

  322. 322
    Captain C says:

    @germy: I had one today, in fact.

  323. 323
    J R in WV says:

    @Betty Cracker:

    …who silently frowns at typos on restaurant menus…

    OMG!! You too?~!!~?

    WOW! We do that too. And wild apostrophe’s (sic) !!! ;-)

  324. 324
    J R in WV says:

    @zhena gogolia:

    Does smoke ever come out of anyone’s ears in real life? Outside the context of a tragic accident?

    Yes. Executions using the electric chair often cause smoke to come from the person being executed in odd places, ears being one. Disgusting but true… thanks, Thomas Edison!

  325. 325
    J R in WV says:

    @Dorothy A. Winsor:

    …“He gifted us a plant.” I cringe just typing that.

    Yes, partly because there’s a much shorter word for that act, “He GAVE us a plant!”

  326. 326
    minachica says:

    @(((CassandraLeo))): Count yourself lucky if you haven’t heard people calling ATMs time machines.
    //Sconnie lingo; all the ATMs were operated by Tyme when I moved here 25+ years ago

  327. 327
    TerryC says:

    @PJ: “Oh, yes, editors were jettisoned fast by the Internet. But not after I once had business cards printed up with the title ‘Net Editor. Cool, or what?

  328. 328
    Martin says:

    @Gravenstone: Flour. Corn isn’t elastic enough to hold up. They’re good, but low tensile strength.

  329. 329
    TomatoQueen says:

    @Uncle Cosmo:ohhhh b’dum and tish to you.

  330. 330
    Tehanu says:

    @debbie:

    I rage whenever I hear “curate” being misused. And it’s misused quite a lot.

    That, and everything is “sourced” now — not just “bought” or “picked up” or even “obtained.” A really blatant eye-roll is pretty much the only response. And don’t even get me started on “iconic,” which has reached the point of total meaninglessness.

Comments are closed.