Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

We survived Breitbartpocalypse!

Accused of treason; bitches about the ratings. I am in awe.

Women: they get shit done

JFC, are there no editors left at that goddamn rag?

This blog will pay for itself.

Technically true, but collectively nonsense

The revolution will be supervised.

Saul Alinsky is my co-pilot.

The cruelty is the point; the law be damned.

Reality always wins in the end.

When I decide to be condescending, you won’t have to dream up a fantasy about it.

Mission Accomplished!

Screw the Judean People’s Front. Splitters.

Deploy the moving finger of emphasisity!

Fuck these fucking interesting times.

Let there be snark.

If you tweet it in all caps, that makes it true!

Tick tock motherfuckers! Tick fucking tock!

The willow is too close to the house.

Since when do we limit our critiques to things we could do better ourselves?

Historically it is a little unusual for the president to be an incoherent babbling moron.

A snarling mass of vitriolic jackals

Something seems odd about that, but i have been drinking.

… makes me wish i had hoarded more linguine

You are here: Home / Politics / Trumpery / Dolt 45 / A Quick Message Before Tomorrow’s Partial Release of the Mueller Report

Reader Interactions

158Comments

  1. 1.

    patrick II

    Before that they dragged him into a trial on right wing well funded bullshit charges to get him on the stand with the choice of lying about the blowjob or harming his family. I would have made the same choice. Clinton’s bogus trial is the real definition of a perjury trap.

  2. 2.

    eemom

    There was a meme during the GWB years that listed all the horrible crimes of his administration, and concluded “Now will somebody please give him a blow job so we can impeach him?”

    Ah, the innocence…..

  3. 3.

    Sherparick

    But as far as The Village is concerned it’s all IOKIYAR. After all 65% of white males think Trump is THE GREATEST & who else counts? I should add that it appears the majority of the U.S. business elite loves Trumpist policies if not Trump & consider impeachment bad for business. That is a lot of influence on both the media & Congressional Democrats.

  4. 4.

    John Revolta

    Two years I’m waiting for this, and this afternoon my computer craps out. I’m stuck with a steam-powered Mac from 2003.
    I hate everybody.

  5. 5.

    JDM

    Oh, I’m sure each and every newsreaders and pundit will make that point over and over in these next few days.

    And no, I will not take that side of a bet.

  6. 6.

    TaMara (HFG)

    I’m just grateful the weird-ass press conference is going to take place early enough I can miss it easily. All I have to do is hit the snooze five or six times.

  7. 7.

    eemom

    @Sherparick:

    IOKIYAR.

    Speaking of memes. Christ, will there NEVER BE AN END to people trotting out that godawful useless self-defeating tripe?

    I’ll give John McCain this — he had the decency to die and put that idiot “good news” bleat out of my misery.

  8. 8.

    lamh36

    @RVAwonk
    38s38 seconds ago
    More
    NEW: The Mueller report will offer “a granular look at the ways in which President Trump was suspected of having obstructed justice” & will offer a detailed blow-by-blow of his alleged conduct — analyzing tweets, private threats and other episodes.

    @RVAwonk
    5m5 minutes ago
    More Caroline Orr Retweeted Caroline Orr
    If this turns out to be correct, I think we know why Trump’s attorneys and the White House prepared a counterreport to “rebut” the Mueller report.

    @joshtpm
    6m6 minutes ago
    More
    see if you can spot any sourcing here that isn’t from Barr and his aides

  11. 11.

    cmorenc

    If the Rs could impeach Clinton for lying about a blow job, we should impeach Trump on the grounds of blow-viating about a lying job.

  13. 13.

    Kirk Spencer

    So I have this little wish, admittedly extremely unlikely but it’s happened before.

    I wish that they use the wrong tool for the redactions, and anyone with a little know-how can read through them.

    It’s possible, Just like everyone getting a pony and a million dollars is possible. (he says with wistful sarcasm)

  15. 15.

    The Dangerman

    REPUBLICANS IMPEACHED BILL CLINTON FOR LYING ABOUT A BLOW JOB

    We should send in Stormy to the WH in a little blue dress.

  17. 17.

    lamh36

    “I never expected Barr to do anything that would be respectful to the members of Congress or to include us in any real way. He has proven himself. He auditioned for this job. He was chosen to protect the President of the United States, and that’s exactly what he’s doing.”

    “So I’m not surprised. I’m not even disgusted, because I knew that once he came out and he said there had been no obstruction of justice and that there had been no collusion, that he absolutely stepped out early to defend the president, to protect the president,” said Waters. “I don’t expect any reversal of that. I expect him to continue to play the role. He is basically a lackey and a sycophant for the president of the United States of America, and that’s all it’s gonna be.”

    “This report is gonna be overly redacted, and I don’t know if we’re going to get anything new or important out of that,” Waters continued. “I just wish that the Mueller team would come forward, and I hope that Mueller will come before the committee and have a chance to tell his side of what he has done and have the questions given to him by the members of the Judiciary Committee that will help us to get at the truth about this president.”

    “I mean, this president and his minions are absolutely ridiculous, and they disrespect the members of Congress, and we know they have been involved with each other,” said Waters. “His lawyers, and his aides, et cetera, talking with the White House about what’s in the report already. And they are going to push back. They have advance information. Information that the members of Congress don’t even have.”

    “And so members of Congress better know, he is gonna keep doing this, he’s gonna keep disrespecting us, the Constitution of the United States of America, and there is no answer to how we should be dealing with him except impeachment,” said Waters. “I have been saying it all along.


    Maxine Waters scorches Trump administration for Mueller antics: ‘President and his minions are ridiculous’

    video at link

  19. 19.

    lamh36

    @NBCNews
    5m5 minutes ago
    More
    NEW: Multiple Democratic House cmte. chairs call for AG Barr to cancel news conference they feel “is unnecessary and inappropriate, and appears designed to shape public perceptions of the report before anyone can read it … He should let the full report speak for itself.”

  20. 20.

    lamh36

    @JamilSmith
    2m2 minutes ago
    More
    How can your publication put in a headline that the special counsel’s report will be “lightly redacted” when you haven’t seen or read it yet? Have we learned nothing from this administration? Why would anyone believe a word they have to say without the ability to verify it first?

  23. 23.

    MomSense

    @khead:

    I called my doctor to schedule an appointment and said it’s stress and I might be breaking through my anti depressant. You’ve just given me the best way to describe it. Doc, I’m depressed and I’m worried I’ll have a rage stroke.

  24. 24.

    Alternative Fax, a hip hop artist from Idaho

    @Adam L Silverman:

    At least your catapults will work properly.

    Trebuchet or go home. I’ll take range over mobility any day (well, most days).

  27. 27.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @lamh36:

    “I never expected Barr to do anything that would be respectful to the members of Congress …. “

    NO ONE expects Barr to do anything that would be respectful!

  28. 28.

    MomSense

    @Steve in the ATL:

    It’s school vacation week so my youngest is up all night playing his tele through his blues junior. My mom started playing her violin again after several years of not playing. I don’t have words to express how grating the sound of rusty violin playing can be. I’m ready to take a vow of silence and move to a monastery.

  30. 30.

    The Dangerman

    @Adam L Silverman:

    Ever hear of a Dude named David Goggins? I was introduced to him (he’s never named, I assume as he was still active or in the reserves) in Living With A Seal (a quick and fun read). I’m reading his book now (Can’t Hurt Me; not as fun a read as he had one hell of a fucked life growing up … I’m just now in Hell Week in the book, interesting as I think I saw something like Hell Week when I had work in Coronado several years ago … they work those Dudes like crazy).

    Anyway, if even half the stuff is accurate, he’s one bad MoFo.

  40. 40.

    ??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ??

    Real talk: would a public shaming campaign aimed at Barr make a difference? Not to shame him (he has none), but make his life miserable

  42. 42.

    jl

    @jl: ” Don’t know what brought it to mind, but you can buy a dried toad at this link, $32, cheap. ”

    But I just noticed the vendor certifies that the dried toad is ethically sourced. I’ll look for a more appropriate souvenir. My apologies.

  46. 46.

    The Dangerman

    @?BillinGlendaleCA:

    ….did you perhaps lick the dry toad?

    Another book link and another fun read (but, Parents, keep book away from kids as some of that shit is dangerous). Sensory deprivation is well known (loved it) and binaural beats was new to me (loved it even more).

    There, blog folks, now you know where the nickname comes from.

  48. 48.

    Jay

    @jl:

    That means they pick them off of the shoulder of the highway, after a hot dry week.

    It’s a cool way to sell Buffo in public, for the druggies.

  49. 49.

    catclub

    @MomSense:

    I’m ready to take a vow of silence and move to a monastery.

    Have your relatives take the vow of silence ( ‘instruments’ included)!

  55. 55.

    jl

    @Jay: But Barr wrote a bogus flunky legal memo as a private citizen to draw attention to his abject flunkithood. More initiative than your average toady. I’ll keep looking for an appropriate souvenir for the occasion.

  56. 56.

    Ohio Mom

    @rikyrah: I think I have a few inklings about what Black Dems are noticing about various candidates’ views on race that they think are escaping the attention of white Dems (“Just by the fact they’re telling us we’re not really seeing what we see”) but a few specific details would be helpful.

    Though the past few days I’ve been taking a break from following any of the candidates so I might have missed something obvious.

  59. 59.

    Adam L Silverman

    @The Dangerman: Nope. I don’t know a lot of guys from Naval Special Warfare as most of my work has been with Army Special Operations – SF, Civil Affairs, and PSYOP.

  67. 67.

    Alternative Fax, a hip hop artist from Idaho

    @Adam L Silverman: I thought my joke still worked; clearly I was mistaken.
    @Steve in the ATL: He’d been licking the toad?

    at Chez Steve, violins and recorders tend to disappear or suffer violent “accidental” destruction

    Recorders I understand, but a nice fiddle – what’ve you got against that? Oh, poorly played, I see could be a problem though.

  69. 69.

    Bill Arnold

    From the thread below, anyone else remember downloading the Starr report? (wikipedia clip):

    After the four year investigation of Clinton, the Office of the Independent Counsel delivered its 445-page report to Congress on September 9, 1998.[4]
    For two days, the report sat unread in the Ford House Office Building as Democrats and Republicans in the House of Representatives debated what to do with it. On September 11, the House voted 363–63 to release the report to the public.[5] When the report was uploaded to the internet, it became a sensation, with twelve percent of adult Americans — 20 million people — browsing the web at once to browse the document. “It’s probably the single highest number of people who have ever used the computer to access a single document,” David Webber of the Frank Luntz polling company told CNN.[6]

    Mostly just to search for “cigar” and the like, which were important and totally non-embarrassing to President Clinton.
    Sex & The Starr Report: Was the Report More Explicit than Necessary to Serve Prosecutorial Goals?

    The Starr Report, however, went far beyond establishing that the President lied when he denied having sexual relations with Lewinsky, and included sexual details of various encounters that suggest the Report also had as its purpose to embarrass Clinton and thus limit his effectiveness as President. Perhaps no detail revealed in the Starr Report better illustrates this prosecutorial overkill than the decision to include a description of Clinton…

  73. 73.

    E

    You can’t put all this on white males. Roughly 53% of white females voted for the man. The party that wants to appropriate a woman’s uterus as state property, reduce her to a breeding machine, force her to give birth against her will under the threat of imprisonment, as well as denying her access to birth control and headed up by a man who openly brags he likes to finger women against their will got the MAJORITY of white female voters. Most guys are idiots, but I can guarantee you if there was an all-female political party that was trying to pass legislation requiring a man to get permission from his boss if he wanted a purchase a condom, that party will be lucky to get over 3% of the male vote. I mean seriously, what the hell were white women thinking?

  75. 75.

    Jay

    @E:

    “ I mean seriously, what the hell were white women thinking?”

    People of privledge can get their birth control from Canada and fly off for abortion vacations. It doesn’t effect them, because they have money.

  92. 92.

    matt

    With Trump the reason he can’t be impeached is because there’s no underlying crime. With Clinton on the other hand, the reason to impeach him was because there was no underlying crime. Any questions?

  94. 94.

    Dan B

    @zhena gogolia: Do tell, emphasis on “Tell”. These right wingers first thought when they hear a gay man speak is sssssssseeexxxx! Sure sounds like Tucker is in heat over Pete.
    At least they are consistent in hating women who want to control their bodies. Randall Terry got owned when he tried to disrupt Buttigieg’s rallies in Iowa. And then some of his cohorts did street theater. Someone dressed as Pete whipped a guy dressed as white Jesus while another guy dressed as Satan! “showed” how Pete was encouraging the devil. Onlookers reacted like they were some kinkster public S&M trio. They were.

    And remember Aaron Schrock, Rep. Corrupt sleazy Downton Abbey decorator? He was photographed shirtless at Coachella with his hands down the pants of another shirtless guy. He was known for his anti-gay stance in the GOP. Now he wants to get back into politics….

  101. 101.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    @Dan B: remember Tucker Carlson’s gay panic about all those men lurking in bathrooms?

    It’s also really common. I’ve been bothered in men’s rooms.” Carlson continued, “I’ve been bothered in Georgetown Park,” in Washington, D.C., “when I was in high school.”
    When Abrams asked how Carlson responded to being “bothered,” Carlson asserted, “I went back with someone I knew and grabbed the guy by the — you know, and grabbed him, and … hit him against the stall with his head, actually.”

    Of course, per Wiki, Tucker grew up in San Diego and went to (boarding) high school in Rhode Island. So I’m sure it was a school trip when this thing that totally happened happened, and it just happened to be in a park near where Tucker lived and worked when he remembered, not made up, the thing that totally happened.

  104. 104.

    jl

    @Steve in the ATL: Tucker says he went back with a friend, so assuming this thing that really happened did really happen, then maybe the friend or both of them did it. Anyway, it must of totally happened, and Tucker is such a manly man, he makes sure everyone knows he needed back-up to go two on one to beat up the guy who, it totally happened, ‘bothered him’.

    I’m impressed, assuming it totally happened.

  105. 105.

    jimmiraybob

    @John Revolta:

    “…this afternoon my computer craps out. I’m stuck with a steam-powered Mac from 2003.”

    If coal is involved you might be in line for a Trump rebate.

  106. 106.

    Dan B

    @Jay: Got to it first here. Schrock’s expose was on the gay blogs this AM. He’d already been outed when he posted a heart emoji to one of the big international gay circuit party promoters – and hunky bodybuilder – Eliad Cohen. There is a big contingent of these handsome wealthy gay guys who would have been closeted, in sham marriages, and cruising on the sly years ago. They, for the most part, loudly disaproved of Gay Liberation, a movement that would allow them to live openly. They are despised by many, especially the Log Cabin Republicans who seem oblivious to the christiansts who would have them locked up or tortured and killed in the name of saving them.

    I pray for karmic justice.

  109. 109.

    lamh36

    @PodSaveAmerica
    6h6 hours ago
    More
    New Pod! @KamalaHarris talks with @jonfavs about her record as a District Attorney and Attorney General, how she’d get her priorities through Congress, what drives her crazy about the Democratic Party, and her views on immigration, Israel, & more.
    http://go.crooked.com/podsaveamerica

  110. 110.

    Dan B

    @jl: Someone cruised Tucker Carlson? Must have been slim pickings.

    Then again it might have been some rough trade he couldn’t stop curling his tough manly lips at, in strong disapproval, of course.

    And his solution to these bothersome men is to drive them into loveless sham marriages that end in mental and/or physical abuse, and cheating, that was all too common before Stonewall, and is still de riguer at every GOP convention to this day.

  112. 112.

    HeleninEire

    OT? Dunno. But what I’ve been doing to avoid politics is watching dumb TV. Like HGTV and Food Network. So. Turns out that Food Network has a show called “The Worst Cooks in America Celebrity Edition.” Well. Tanya Harding is on this show starting Sunday. Imma watch cuz she’s gonna stab someone. I am there.

  116. 116.

    James E Powell

    @E:

    I do not know because I am not a white woman, but I inferred that they considered their whiteness to be more important than their womanhood.

  117. 117.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    Joe Murphy MAGA @ jpmurphyhmsiac1
    All the spies were offering dirt or looking for dirt on HRC and none of them were even interviewed by Mueller. Not even the Russian lawyer who Loretta Lunch signed a special Visa for to meet with Don jr. Total setup. Then Flynn interviews without a lawyer with Strzok? Cmon

    First I’ve heard that the dastardly Loretta Lunch set up poor DJTJ at that meeting where totally nothing happened

  121. 121.

    Matt McIrvin

    @E: They may not have been the ones actually voting. There are still parts of this country where it’s generally accepted that men will go into the voting booths with their wives and tell them how to vote, or fill out the ballot for them.

  125. 125.

    Matt McIrvin

    @E: …also, women on average are more religious and church-active than men; I know from personal experience that there are many who will vote for any right-wing politician whatsoever because abortion, because of their religion, and that simply overrides any other consideration whatsoever.

  127. 127.

    Chetan Murthy

    @E: @Matt McIrvin: I believe the echte cultural reference is to Phyllis Schlafly? And her anti-ERA campaign that argued that these young women with their jobs and their free lifestyles would steal older women/homemakers’ men …. ? Eh, I dunno, I want to construct scenarios that don’t blame women, b/c I can’t look in their heads the way I can with men, so I can’t definitively assign blame.

  128. 128.

    Comrade Colette Collaboratrice

    At 6:30 PDT tomorrow morning, I’ll be getting ready to go get my kid’s passport renewed, because no way we’re ever going to not have the means to escape on a moment’s notice. I guess I’ll have to wait for updates here once I get that done. Hot takes, served lukewarm?

  130. 130.

    Chetan Murthy

    @Comrade Colette Collaboratrice:

    I’ll be getting ready to go get my kid’s passport renewed

    A-MEN, Mme. Comrade. Take care of what’s needful! And besides, what really matters is what Nadler does about it. If he pursues the unredacted report, that’s good; if not, that’s bad.

  132. 132.

    dww44

    @Matt McIrvin: Yep, got a sister like that. Totally extreme on the sanctity of life. It starts with the heartbeat, you know. I don’t know how we win this fight where common sense, and women’s freedoms to manage their own bodies can’t carry the day. A fight that was once won, I thought.

  136. 136.

    Villago Delenda Est

    @Bill Arnold: The Starr Report was masterminded by the vile shit that is Boof Kavenaugh, who is unfit to serve as a judge for Night Court, let alone the Supreme Court.

  137. 137.

    hervevillechaizelounge

    @Dan B:

    I know I’m paranoid but I believe the MSM is fluffing Mayor Pete so he’ll get the nomination and then they can pivot: SODOMY! In the Lincoln Bedroom! Was lube used, and if so which brand? Let’s speculate. Who pitches? Who catches? Are Ma and Pa Midwest (otherwise known as “real Americans”) ready for ass-play in the White House, the most sacred manse in these god-fearing United States?

    Every single troll will create a Mayor Pete Grindr account and the media will fall for some of them; a handful of dedicated trolls will (falsely) claim they participated in a 3-way with Mayor Pete and his spouse and they’ll all get unlimited wingnut Wurlitzer airtime.

    Dowdy Elizabeth Warren won’t be servin’ up the sexxxxy media times so the media isn’t interested. I’d glady vote for either one of them, btw.

  141. 141.

    Alternative Fax, a hip hop artist from Idaho

    @Steve in the ATL: As do I, but I’ll admit I’m a bit annoyed at the “not that old” shot. I’m still peevish over being thought of as a stodgy professional with a pantsuit and a security clearance. I’ve been called any number of arguably less than flattering things, but I don’t think I’ve ever been characterized as stodgy. Omnes may recall that episode.

  143. 143.

    jl

    @hervevillechaizelounge: So far Buttigieg is more or less tied with Warren for fourth place, and they are at the back of the top five along with O’Rourke. So, I don’t see the media fluffing making a dramatic difference yet. And after campaigning, and debates, start, it will make even less difference.

  144. 144.

    jl

    @?BillinGlendaleCA: You claim to have roomed with the Doors and known the Beatles. And you make fun of me for licking toads. Hmmm….. And you also brag about hanging out at the nerd side of the UCLA campus. I don’t get it.

  148. 148.

    Jay

    @jl:

    Hey, I house sat at Morrison’s house off Pacific Highway once.

    It wasn’t his anymore,

    It was cool,

    But 3 Sheepdogs with fleas.

  149. 149.

    Dan B

    @hervevillechaizelounge: Yeah, the homophobia will be more blatant if he makes it to the campaign. He’s really good at defusing it but you gotta be watching him to get charmed by his rhetorical wizardry. Most people only see the slanted headlines that are filtered through the largely straight media.

    I’m not interested in his getting the presidency. He can be most valuable in normalizing gay people and delegitimizing the right wing christianists. Their distortion of Jesus message has damaged the US for too long.

    I’m concerned about what will be thrown at Harris. There seems to be traction in social media that Pete is an elite racist. Seems targeted at black influencers and seems to have traction. So far the lgbt community and Pete supporters don’t notice but it could be a wedge. The bigger isssue I’ve got with Pete is his friendship with Zuckerberg.

    And will the Harris is “not really black” message gain traction? Doesn’t seem like it so far, thankfully. The “wealthy” and “cop” labels could but I’m not too concerned. The Dem circular firing squad seems more likely.

  152. 152.

    Comrade Colette Collaboratrice

    @rikyrah: @Ohio Mom:

    a few specific details would be helpful

    Being wypipo, even the most forward-thinking of us need this stuff spelled out extremely specifically, using simple concepts and short words (and possibly Comic Sans). I wish I were kidding, but I’m not. On the other hand, rikyrah, I know it’s totally not your job to have to enlighten us, over and over and fucking OVER. I don’t know how to get out of this conundrum.

  153. 153.

    Matt McIrvin

    @dww44: Once upon a time, abortion was widely illegal but the opposition to it was driven mostly by Catholics, and Protestants and others came around to supporting abortion rights.

    What changed things was not Roe v. Wade, which was the culmination of the earlier trend. It was white Protestant evangelicals making a conscious political decision to become anti-abortion in the mid- to late 1970s, as a means of forging alliances with conservative Catholics and claiming moral high ground in what they could frame as a question of the killing of babies.

    These things can turn around on a dime, seemingly dying reactionary positions regaining huge ground, if somebody thinks they’ll stand to benefit. Creationism made a huge comeback right around the same time, and people thought that was dead and buried.

  157. 157.

    J R in WV

    @Aleta:

    But do you tune your ukes??

    I aks because Good Friend plays a really loud Gibson banjo, poorly, doesn’t have a good grip on tuning… need I say more? Even his best buddies can’t stand to play with him ~!!~

  158. 158.

    rikyrah

    @Dan B:
    A problem for Harris with who?
    Black people?
    Kamala Harris is a Black woman.
    Black people have no problems with people having money.
    And, the Kamala is a cop bullshyt is just that.

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