I fell for an April Fools joke today and it was the first time I remember falling for one in over 20 years.
As a cool and hip middle-ager, I am on the gram like the kids, and every morning when I am in the bathroom, I do my daily check of instagram and all the other social media things other than twitter. I’m fond of watching those little videos that people put up, and I follow about 30 animals that have their own accounts (shout out to Juniper & Fig), so it’s usually a nice way to start the day.
As a West Virginian, it is mandatory that you follow Jennifer Garner, who I would love even if she were from some hellhole like Ohio (you will always be Sydney to me, Jennifer). Among many other reasons, this is also why Ben Affleck is DEAD TO ME.
At any rate, this morning she had a cute little video in which she announced she had written a book, and it was called “Bless Your Heart.” I immediately thought “Oh, I have to get that for BFF Tammy, because she loves Jennifer.” Tammy is always sending me links to her Jennifer cooking and doing other things, so when I exited the throne room and went to the home office and proceeded to go to amazon.
And I could not find it anywhere. I looked, and looked, google searched, nothing. And then I saw someone bitching about April Fools jokes on twitter, and realized I had been had. Apparently I was not the only one.
TL:DR- At 48 I am still a sucker for a pretty face.
MomSense
I love Jennifer Garner, too especially her fake cooking show videos.
I briefly knew BA back before he went to LA. He was very sweet then. Then my mom’s best friend’s daughter was/is close friends with Jennifer and she spent a lot of time with them. It’s all very sad. His eyes are different now. He always seems burdened. I guess life happened to all of us in the intervening 30 years.
Spanky
I can happily report that that will never change. When a pretty face fails to delight you, better wind the sheet around you and lay yourself down.
HinTN
@Cole
At 66 I resemble that remark.
ETA: I see @Spanky: got there firster and mo betta
Mary G
I don’t do Instagram because FaceBook owns them, but I recently discovered Crouton the calf on Twitter and it is soothing to just see what he gets up to each day. He lives in a horse sanctuary, so he will never be food.
ThresherK
Baylor women lead Iowa by ~20 after 3Q. Looks like I picked the wrong night to stop
sniffing gluepicking top seeds in regional finals.raven
I hit a marker just now. I submitted my order for UGA season tickets for the upcoming season. Getting tickets for the Notre Dame game isn’t the only reason I’ve worked a year longer but it’s right up there! Go Dawgs and I don’t give a rats ass what anyone thinks about football so save it.
A Ghost To Most
Jennifer Garner? Meh. She shoulda grabbed Chris Pratt. They coulda banged their books together.
trollhattan
@Mary G:
That damn cow thinks she’s a dog! Somebody has a sense of labeling humor, with a sack imprinted “Hi Fiber” that looks to be filled with literal fiber.
Garner was pretty darn quirky in “Camping.” From girl next door to momzilla.
A Ghost To Most
@raven:
I love football, but no desire to ever see a ND game. I hope the Dawgs crush them.
HeleninEire
@John Cole up top.
“As a cool and hip middle-ager…” I know that that is sarcastic (right, Cole?)
I can’t stop laughing. I think of myself as that too. Not sarcastically. FAIL. On both our parts.
My niece was here last week. She is 20. I got a bartender friend to serve her. My sister (my niece’s Mom) said “Damn you have the Aunt thing DOWN.”
Yep. Cuz I’m the cool, hip, Aunt.
trollhattan
Chipping away at the blue wall.
Aleta
I fell for this one.
450-pound dog (4 min)
raven
@A Ghost To Most: The super nose bleeds are $450 now. By game time who knows. If I can keep my head I can probably do someone a favor and still make enough on my extra ticket to pay for my whole season
Roger Moore
@trollhattan:
Yeah, the police really do not like accountability, and they’ve been fighting tooth and nail to avoid having to turn over their records. I’m glad the courts aren’t having it.
David ??Merry Christmas?? Koch
Cole
Here’s a nice CBS Sunday morning profile on JG by a fellow WV (link)
raven
@HeleninEire: It’s weird, I try to minimize the age deal but I went to a couple of neighborhood bars Saturday night (my bride is in London) and I didn’t know a single person in any of them. I realize I have been out of that scene for 26 years but I still thought I’d know SOMEONE!
Major Major Major Major
Stack Overflow had a hilarious joke today. They re-skinned the whole website in 1997 style, complete with comic sans and your cursor leaving glitter. https://imgur.com/omJBos4
Barbara
Not sure it was an April Fool joke, but Parliament’s Brexit debate was interrupted by semi-naked protesters seeking to draw attention to climate change. Some glued their hands to the protective glass that is in front of the gallery.
https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2019/apr/01/wiggling-buttocks-enliven-existential-hell-of-brexit-debate
Gin & Tonic
So my daughter, by now a dyed-in-the-wool New Yorker, flew out to Oregon to interview for a job with a sporting goods company – out Sunday, back on the Monday red-eye after roughly 9:00-3:00 (including lunch) interviewing. To be young enough to be able to handle that kind of schedule. Who knows if they’ll offer, or if she’ll accept, but they were interested enough to cover all her travel for this.
raven
@Gin & Tonic: I’m really worried about the Europe trip my bride is on. She has been having foot problems and wasn’t able to get any relief before she left. Her and her partner in crime flew form London to Amsterdam to see the tulips and go museuming so I know she’s overdoing it.
A Ghost To Most
@raven:
I don’t love football that much. Crowds spook me, anyway. Enjoy.
jl
Thanks for heart warming April fools joke post.
But
” every morning when I am in the bathroom, I do my daily check of instagram and all the other social media things other than twitter. ”
So, social media is the new Popular Mechanics for dudes sitting on the throne?
Dang kids these days, get off my lawn!
TaMara (HFG)
@David ??Merry Christmas?? Koch: That was a good profile.
I was going to try to convince everyone I had succumbed to the flat-earthers and was now a true believer. In the end, I didn’t have it in me to play that dumb.
raven
@A Ghost To Most: I want to keep going as long as I can. I’m always amazed at the really elderly folks that make the trek to games. I have to women who have to be in their late 80’s sitting near me and they don’t miss even in the ungodly hot early-season games.
FlyingToaster
He’s generally dead to everyone except Matt Damon and his (much funnier) brother.
Which is too bad; he’s done some nice things hereabouts (going with Matt Damon to support unionizing the grad students at Harvard). He’s one of those “I’m pretty sure he means well, but Jesus, he needs to keep it in his pants” guys.
HeleninEire
@raven: But you don’t drink anymore. Time (and people) move on.
Thinking of going dontown Manhattan to one of my former locals. I haven’t been there since before 9/11. It’s just a few blocks north. Curious to know if it’s still there and if the other regulars are still there.
A Ghost To Most
@raven:
That’s cool. Between fishing and football, sounds like you have arrived. I have arrived as well. I want to keep going to the high places as long as I can.
Gin & Tonic
@raven: She can buy some weed in Amsterdam to relieve the pain if necessary. Just don’t bring it back to ATL.
More seriously, hope she finds a little time to take it easy. We got real tired just walking the Prado in Madrid (but it *is* pretty big.) Once in a while on a trip like that you just have to say fuck it and chill for half a day.
Gin & Tonic
@HeleninEire: You should know the pace of change in NYC. It’s almost 20 years.
CapnMubbers
Ha! Rotating tag reads “Impressively dumb. Congratulations.”
lgerard
Headline for our times
MAGA hat-wearing attacker slashes man with sword outside San Francisco roller disco
raven
@Gin & Tonic: Yea, she’s full growed so she’ll do like she wants!
MomSense
@raven:
I met a woman today (lawyer) who is moving to Athens with her husband and daughter. Her daughter is a gymnast so they’re looking for a good gym for her.
Steve in the ATL
@raven: I fully support you in this endeavor
Steeplejack
I think I see the problem.
HeleninEire
@Gin & Tonic: @raven:
Yes. I will do what I like.
trollhattan
@lgerard:
Where was Jussy?
“San Francisco roller disco” is a chilling phrase, did I wake in the ’70s this morning?
debbie
@Gin & Tonic:
When I talked to friends still in NYC just a few years after I’d left, all the places I’d known had disappeared. A very Chrissie Hynde moment.
Steve in the ATL
@lgerard: wow there’s a lot unpack just in that headline
SiubhanDuinne
@MomSense:
Sorry. I have no idea who BA may be. Enlightenment, please?
Ruviana
@SiubhanDuinne: I’m assuming Ben Affleck.
Steve in the ATL
@raven: my fear is walking into a bar and seeing one of my kids there
Marcopolo
@ThresherK: You know, I was thinking the NCAA men’s tournament was just boring this year. I am a cinderella team follower and their just really weren’t any. I did take satisfaction in seeing Duke lose last night, however.
MomSense
@SiubhanDuinne:
Ben Affleck.
Steve in the ATL
@FlyingToaster: he’s a great guy…when he’s not drinking
raven
@MomSense: Lot’s to choose from, here’s one.
Athens Gymnastics is the newest Gymnastics facility in the Athens area. Founded in 2018 at United Team Sports Center, Athens Gymnastics is built to be a developmental gym utilizing smaller space to keep classes and children from being overwhelmed. Athens Gymnastics is for everyone. No experience needed to begin the development and study of Artistic Gymnastics. Experienced instruction at all levels will provide children a positive, productive, and fulfilling experience in Gymnastics.
The UGA womens team is quite successful and it’s made the sport quite popular here.
There is also Canopy, Flying Aerial Dance that’s very big in hipster town!
Did they say where they we going to live?
SiubhanDuinne
@Major Major Major Major:
Hampster Dance or GTFO.
mad citizen
@raven: I’ve been wondering about why you refer to your wife as your bride (and I do hope she is having a great time). The only google hit I found is here: https://www.google.com/search?http://stuffchristianslike.net/2011/06/21/calling-your-wife-your-bride/
I’ll just pass along that the only other men I’ve heard do this is Republican leadership in my state government, including Mike Pence.
debbie
@Steve in the ATL:
Aren’t we all?
raven
@Steve in the ATL: That definitely ain’t happenin. Normaltown is really taking off with The Old Pal, Normal Bar, the Hi-Lo and a seafood joint going in where the Army Navy store was.
Steve in the ATL
@Marcopolo: love seeing Duke lose! Now rooting for the ‘Hoos as the only blue state team left
SiubhanDuinne
@MomSense:
Thx.
raven
@mad citizen: Huh, I don’t know. I could call her my old lady like I did my ex I guess.
dexwood
@Steve in the ATL:
That did happen to me. Our son then bought us really good local beers.
raven
@mad citizen: That url ain’t nothing but, save it, I don’t really give a fuck what christians do.
eta, My old man used it and he damn sure wasn’t a christian either.
HeleninEire
@Steve in the ATL: You just brought back a fantastic College memory.
One of my friends said “I can’t go to an X rated movie. (This was when 42nd street was ALL X rated movies). Maybe my mom will be there!!!”
Mary G
Maybe the media will take a minute out of Bernie, Biden, Beto, Buttigieg to talk about this:
raven
@dexwood: There dudes I went fishing with in Florida were toking with their (grown) kids.
trollhattan
@mad citizen:
You might be overthinking this. It can be as simple as a charming way to refer to one’s spouse in a fashion that conveys a little of the giddy feelings of newlyweds. Better in social settings than “the ol’ ball-and-chain.” Mine, FWIW, sometimes introduces me as “My first husband.”
raven
@debbie: Oh no, drinking makes you smart, funny, sexy and really good looking.
raven
@trollhattan: Fuckin A, that’s me Prince Charming!
Origuy
@Gin & Tonic:
I hit the Prado the day after landing in Madrid. They had these big upholstered seats so I took a nap in one. It’s the land of the siesta, after all.
Barbara
@Mary G: She has been hitting me up like crazy. She apparently takes full advantage of the wealth of IT talent in the Bay Area to hone her fundraising operation.
HeleninEire
@raven: LMAO. YUP.
dexwood
@raven:
Yeah, brave new world, for good and bad. My son doesn’t toke, too much to lose. I do, retired.
Barbara
@Origuy: Same experience except my husbsnd parked me in front of my favorite painting and told me to chill while everyone else walked around. It had been a horrible flight.
Eric NNY
Ohio is a shithole? Take it back or I’ll cross that river when I’m back home for my niece’s wedding in September, Cole…….
MomSense
@raven:
She didn’t say. I think her husband took a job with the university so she’s going to take the summer to study for the bar exam and get her daughter settled. They do have a dog though so I told her she’ll have to look for the Boo Le Bark.
Mary G
FlyingToaster
@Steve in the ATL: I’m pretty sure that in BA’s case, drinking was mostly peripheral to having sex with the help. And the makeup girl. And the chick in the bar. And.. well, you get the picture.
Steeplejack
@Mary G:
Rachel Maddow talking about that right now.
Steve in the ATL
@raven:
Yes, drinking is just having a law degree!
Steve in the ATL
@MomSense: unfortunately, no state has bar reciprocity with Georgia, because Georgia won’t have reciprocity with anyone. Why? No idea.
debbie
@raven:
Heh, guess I’ve been doing it wrong!
frosty
@debbie: Every single place in Huntington Beach that
i went to when I lived there in ‘76 is gone, except the liquor store where I cashed checks. Even the pier washed away in the 90s.
debbie
@frosty:
As Gertrude Stein said when she returned to her childhood town, “There is no there there.”
Adam L Silverman
@Steve in the ATL: Stayets Rawahats!
plato
danielx
Why should you be any different?
NotMax
Um, isn’t the idea behind being in there to let sh*t out, not take it in?
NotMax
Good a place as any for the annual mention of the classic BBC April Fool video.
@SiubhanDuinne
If it’s any consolation, I have no idea who the Garner person is.
Gin & Tonic
@NotMax: An actress. Daughter of James Garner of Maverick, a TV Western you might recall.
MomSense
@FlyingToaster:
Hey, once upon a time I was the chick in a bar but I did not have sex with BA!
NotMax
@Gin & Tonic
Subtle, dude, real subtle.
:)
Steve in the ATL
@MomSense: that’s your April fool’s joke?
B.B.A.
@plato: Very clever, Neil, now go crawl back under a rock with your fellow sex pests.
eclare
@Mary G: Sweet!
MomSense
@Steve in the ATL:
Wouldn’t you love to know
Marcopolo
@Gin & Tonic: wait, wut? Is this an April Fools joke cause Jennifer Garner is def not James Garner’s kid—though you are right about Maverick. In fact, I’m pretty sure there is no relation betwixt them whatsoever.
Mnemosyne
@mad citizen:
IMO, I suspect it’s more of a Southern thing than a Christian thing, and raven lives in Georgia. People get confused because Christians tend to adopt Southern culture.
And, yes, Indiana is culturally part of the South. Sorry. I’m originally from Illinois, so I know wherefore I speak. You guys have been getting increasingly more Southern since Bill Clinton was elected.
My proof? Only Southerners refer to the perfectly respectable game of beanbag toss as “cornhole.”
Steeplejack
@Gin & Tonic:
April Fools’ Day jokes are stupid.
Steeplejack
@Marcopolo:
April Fools’ Day joke?
Jennifer Garner’s father is William John Garner, a former chemical engineer.
Gin & Tonic
@Marcopolo: Shh. NotMax said he didn’t know who she was, why are you spoiling it?
Gin & Tonic
@Mnemosyne: It’s called “cornhole” up here in Yankee country.
Gin & Tonic
@Steeplejack: Good thing I didn’t try one, then.
Marcopolo
@Gin & Tonic: Well I would have said she’s that actress who starred in “Dude, Where’s My Car,” which I am only somewhat embarrassed to say I enjoyed. In a low-brow humor kind of way.
Gin & Tonic
@Marcopolo: I’ll wager a small amount of coin of the realm that NotMax has not yet seen that classic.
Mnemosyne
@Gin & Tonic:
Are you in the part of Yankee country where people put Confederate flag stickers on their cars or vocally support Trump?
Amir Khalid
@Gin & Tonic:
I knew that not.
NotMax
@Gin & Tonic
Actually, I have. The brain has mercifully wiped clean any other memory associated with it other than something hazy involving tattoos.
Kent
So my 20 year old daughter in college across the country texted me this morning that she crashed and totaled her car.
Yes…she had me going for a bit.
She texted my wife (who is a doctor) some leading questions suggesting she was pregnant. My wife was not amused.
She knows us I guess. And knows which different buttons to push.
Kent
@Steve in the ATL:
Because Georgia is the center of the south so to speak (at least Atlanta is). And the Georgia Bar doesn’t want any competition from yahoos from all the other surrounding redneck states. Chances are MUCH greater that a Mississippi or Alabama lawyer will want to move to Georgia than vice versa.
Quaker in a Basement
Spotify pranked subscribers yesterday. My weekly made-just-for-you mix tape file came in full of a) disco remixes of acoustic songs I listen to often, and b) my favorite artists reinterpreting disco songs (Emmylou did a version of Donna Summers’ “On the Radio.” Who knew?) By this morning, the list had reverted to my usual genres and performers.