Having a Great Time at the Beach

124 replies
  1. 1
    Adam K says:

    John Cole is not that old and not that fat.

  2. 2
    Jerzy Russian says:

    I am not sure of what the point of that clip is supposed to be. In any event, good to hear that you had a good time.

  3. 3
    Steeplejack says:

    Trump’s Twitter account has been silent for over 24 hours. Is that a record?

    But, hey, he played golf with Kid Rock today!

    Another great day on the links! Thank you to POTUS for having me and to EVERYONE at Trump International for being so wonderful. What a great man, so down to earth and so fun to be with!! KEEP AMERICA GREAT!! -Kid Rock pic.twitter.com/cSsswI5PbW

    — Kid Rock (@KidRock) March 23, 2019

  4. 4
    mrmoshpotato says:


    That is all.

  5. 5
    opiejeanne says:

    Is her name Lola?

  6. 6
    Ruckus says:

    That guy just had to get in the picture. Bet he thinks he looks great.

  7. 7
    mrmoshpotato says:

    @Steeplejack: To hell with Kid Rock, if you need pole dancers on stage, your music sucks.

  8. 8
    Mary G says:

    I posted this Twitter thread in the last post because I did not see that a new one is up, so I’m putting it here too. The story of a very good boy.

    I want to tell you a story about Hank, and I want you to know that it has a happy ending. This is Hank 6 years ago. pic.twitter.com/YLXcJYAw9C— Ulysses S. Cocksman (@USCocksman) March 23, 2019

  9. 9
    The Golux says:


    But, hey, he played golf with Kid Rock today!

    Low-talented Kid Rock can EABASD*.

    (* eat a bag of salted dicks)

  10. 10
    debbie says:


    The Speedo confirms he does.

  11. 11
  12. 12
    Honus says:

    Cole will eventually look like that guy, and it won’t be that long. Don’t ask me how I know.

  13. 13
    Chetan Murthy says:

    @Honus: Don’t all of us (guys) end up looking like him? I mean, different skin color, same pear-shape, eh?

  14. 14

    I am hearing on Twitter that May might be losing her Prime Ministration tonight. I guess we’ll wait and see if it’s true.

  15. 15
    Rosalie Marcantonio says:

    I never comment, been reading for a while. But, gees, everyone drinking tonight? That was funny.

  16. 16
    khead says:

    That was a great photobomb.

  17. 17

    @Rosalie Marcantonio:
    I actually didn’t get the joke until Adam K explained it to me. Maybe I was distracted by something?

  18. 18
    David Fud says:

    That Carmelo guy seems to have the equivalent of a Playboy feed. The performance of the woman was funny because she was trying so hard, and the fat man was so hilarious because he was oblivious and wasn’t trying at all.

  19. 19
    MelissaM says:

    You look good, but I don’t think red is the best color for your skin tone.

  20. 20
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @Frankensteinbeck: The problem is that Michael Gove is one of the people both trying to unseat her, take over from her, and block her deputy from becoming PM. The Deputy PM appears interested in keeping the UK in the EU customs union.

  21. 21
    Amir Khalid says:

    I am surprised she has kept it this long.

  22. 22
    Adam L Silverman says:

    You know that guy isn’t Cole because Cole would be wearing overalls.

  23. 23
    Pogonip says:

    Cole! You’ve lost weight!

    And that guy behind you found it. 😁

    Can any of you pet mavens tell me why nobody ever tried to make breeds out of the expensive “designer dog” mutts? The sole exception I could find was the Australian Labradoodle.

  24. 24
    SRW1 says:

    @David Fud:
    His impression of a duck was pretty spot on, though!

  25. 25
    Another Scott says:

    @Mary G: Nice. Thanks.


  26. 26
    Mike in NC says:

    Ten years ago we traded life in the DC suburbs for a quiet beach town. No regrets.

  27. 27
    raven says:

    @Mike in NC: I used to read the Red Drum Tackle Shop blog from Hatteras. People would say, “I’m moving there full time”! The locals would reply “You need to come and spend a winter here first”!

  28. 28
    Pogonip says:

    @Steeplejack: Awww. Who’s a good boy?

    I miss having a dog.

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  30. 30
    opiejeanne says:

    @Ruckus: Or he’s old enough that he just doesn’t give a fuck any more.

  31. 31
    Suzanne says:

    @Amir Khalid: Same here. I’m also surprised that she would want it—or really that anybody would want it—during this clusterfuck.

  32. 32
    opiejeanne says:

    @🐾BillinGlendaleCA: It looked like she was smuggling budgies or something in the bottom of that bikini.

    p.s. I see what you did there.

  33. 33
    raven says:

    Holy shit Auburn is rainin treys on Kansas!

  34. 34
    SRW1 says:

    @Adam L Silverman:

    Good Lord, they apparently have enlisted her husband to tell Theresa it’s time to go. The woman is even more stubborn than Thatcher.

  35. 35
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @SRW1: She might not be stubborn. She might just be that dumb.

  36. 36
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @SRW1: And, perhaps, less intelligent and less self aware. What could go wrong?

  37. 37
    Leto says:

    @Adam L Silverman: This was my thought exactly. We’ve never seen Cole sans overalls so nobody truely knows.

  38. 38
    zhena gogolia says:


    To answer your query last night, the post-Nettles Midsomer was on film. But it still sucked!

  39. 39
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @Leto: And if we’re lucky we never will!//

  40. 40
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Leto: When he came to the Madison, WI, meet up in 2013, I am pretty sure he did not wear overalls. He, however, did just get up from the table and wander off to play video games at one point.

  41. 41
    Brachiator says:

    @Adam L Silverman: I saw the story about May and found this part very interesting.

    Shipman quoted one unidentified cabinet minister as saying: “The end is nigh. She will be gone in 10 days.”

    May’s de-facto deputy, David Lidington, is one contender to be interim prime minister but others are pushing for Environment Secretary Michael Gove or Foreign Secretary Jeremy Hunt, Shipman said.

    I didn’t know the BREXIT views of these guys, but you may have helped to fill in one of the blanks.

    The Deputy PM appears interested in keeping the UK in the EU customs union.

    This would be an interesting shift and revolt against the hard core no deal Tory MPs.

  42. 42
    raven says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: Oh yea, back when we’d talk about sports.

  43. 43
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @Brachiator: Gove is a hardcore Brexiter. He’s also heavily involved in the financial sector. He’s likely been shorting the pound and other British stocks for several years now.

  44. 44
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @raven: Hey, since WI lost, my brackets are fucked to hell and back.

  45. 45
    Leto says:

    @Adam L Silverman: So say we all! /s

    @Omnes Omnibus: Ah, the doppelgänger was successfully deployed! Actually it sounds like he and I would get along just fine.

  46. 46
    raven says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: I’m in a calcutta with some high rollers. I spent $115 on Ohio State and Virginia Tech and I’m still alive. I do love this stuff though, even with one and done. The Big Ten is kickin ass.

  47. 47
    raven says:

    Auburn has 8 three pointer and Kansas has 7 buckets with 6 to go in the 1st.

  48. 48
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Brachiator: @Adam L Silverman: Jeremy Hunt is the only one there that is a possible non-disaster.

  49. 49
    raven says:

    OK, I’ll DVR it and quit bothering ya’ll.

  50. 50
    NotMax says:

    @raven – @raven

    Individually, understand every word. Collectively, drawing a total blank.


  51. 51
    Gin & Tonic says:

    @raven: I’ll keep my trap shut in case you come back to check.

  52. 52

    @Adam L Silverman: According to all my UK friends Gove is both extremely mendacious and a gigantic arsehole. And a lot of people would be happy if he took a long walk off the cliffs of Dover…

  53. 53
    Gin & Tonic says:

    @NotMax: A “calcutta” is a form of betting pool. The two teams he bet on have not yet lost.

  54. 54
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @Nethead Jay: That has been my understanding of him.

  55. 55
    Duane says:

    What fat man?

  56. 56
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Adam L Silverman: Isn’t Gove basically Boris Johnson without the charm and personality?

  57. 57
    Plato says:

    @Nethead Jay:

    Rees mogg: hey, what am I, chopped liver?

    The assholiest of all brexshitters.

  58. 58
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: Him and Jacob Reese Moog.

  59. 59
    NotMax says:

    @Gin & Tonic

    Ah, sports. Something about which I am congenitally incapable of grasping the whys and wherefores. Although using a word closely associated with the term black hole when it comes to gambling is, you should pardon the expression, right on the money.

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  61. 61
    Doug R says:

    @Adam L Silverman: Tracey Ullman has a parody of Rees-Moog as a gigantic man baby still getting fed by his nanny.

  62. 62
    rikyrah says:

    Shannon 💃🏻 (@TheStagmania) Tweeted:
    If you want to present yourself as the Democratic candidate who “gets” aggrieved white conservative voters, you better start with being honest about who they are and why they vote the way they do. Or just reconsider being that candidate because it’s not very compelling. https://twitter.com/TheStagmania/status/1109549342145294339?s=17

  63. 63
    rikyrah says:

    You don’t say🙄🙄🙄

    TrueBlackResist (@trueblackresist) Tweeted:
    white supremacist that killed 50 Muslims was living off a $500,000 inheritance – proof Bernie Sanders programs to help “working class whites” will not cure or stop Racism.
    white supremacy and racism is not about class.
    #Blackivesmatter #Blacktwitter

    https://t.co/ywK6NxjNWQ https://twitter.com/trueblackresist/status/1109637379151876098?s=17

  64. 64
    rikyrah says:

    chris evans (@notcapnamerica) Tweeted:
    It doesn’t look like Julian Castro is going to make it to the debate stage based on the number of donors he currently has. (You need 65,000 to qualify)

    That would suck!

    I just donated!

    https://t.co/b16Y0Gc820 https://twitter.com/notcapnamerica/status/1109289167748517888?s=17

  65. 65
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: Thanks. I didn’t get you anything.

  66. 66
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @Doug R: I don’t need to know about what he does in his private time. In fact I don’t even want to think about it.

  67. 67
    HeleninEire says:

    @Duane: Win

  68. 68
    NotMax says:


    Have missed seeing your nym of late.

  69. 69


    white supremacist that killed 50 Muslims was living off a $500,000 inheritance – proof Bernie Sanders programs to help “working class whites” will not cure or stop Racism.

    God damn right. Racism flourishes among the wealthy, and always has. It’s no accident that John Schnatter, Galtian asshole supreme, was caught complaining that he’s not allowed to say n- anymore.

  70. 70
    seaboogie says:

    @Adam L Silverman: Yeah, but like some old, overalls cutoffs, because @the beach. Not his formal dress overalls, obviously.

  71. 71
    Jay says:

    DPRK News Service
    Gift of one stick of butter from Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un to Donald Trump serves its purpose.
    Quote Tweet
    Donald J. Trump
    It was announced today by the U.S. Treasury that additional large scale Sanctions would be added to those already existing Sanctions on North Korea. I have today ordered the withdrawal of those additional Sanctions!
    10:59 AM · Mar 22, 2019 · Twitter Web Client

  72. 72
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @seaboogie: That’s just SCIENCE!

  73. 73

    Open thread? Awesome. I’m trying to isolate a ‘Here’s a sample!’ page for Rag Doll’s Guide To Here And There. Does this drag the reader in?

    Stiff and wobbly as he was, the bundlevich dropped down to one knee. In a wave, all the other bundlish did as well, which forced the poor shrivener nearly face-down on the flagstones. Breathy with hope, the human-shaped pile of fancy clothing told Sandy, “We have waited so long, Witch Sandy. We are the oldest remaining race Anywhere.”

    “There were china dolls before even bundlish,” corrected a bundliss in an extravagant blue gown.

    The bundlevich demurred, “Each one individual, not a race.”

    The crowd all nodded agreement.

    His mask turned back to Sandy, and the longing tone returned. “Many children ago, a heroine bound us with her magic, sealing away our evil. Now a witch has come to reclaim her most loyal subjects. Release the spell. Let us be what we once were, we beg you.”

    Sandy’s shoulder lifted and fell with her deep breaths. I’d stopped breathing at all. She took a long time to answer them. When she did, she laid a trembling hand on the bundlevich’s shoulder. “It is not time yet. Neither Here nor There are ready for you. I am not the child that will free you completely, but I can release one link of your chains. I need a monster.”

    “Yesssssss,” the bundlevich whispered. The others joined in on the hiss, hunger and uncontrollable ecstasy combined.

    Gaining confidence again, Sandy continued, now waving an arm to indicate all of the gathered bundlish, and the town itself. “You make clothlings for Here. I want you to sew me something bigger, something filled with witchcraft that can fight for me. In fact…”

    Turning to the captured shrivener, she cupped her hand under the beak of his mask. “This looks like the face of a monster, doesn’t it? Killing or imprisoning him would be awful, so we’ll change him. Use his metal as underwire, his robe as fabric, and his mask as a face. I’ll turn him from a creature of order to a creature of chaos. That’s not too bad, right?”

    “Disappointingly merciful and brilliantly evil at the same time,” said the bundlevich.

    Sandy stomped her foot, and pointed up the street. “Then get to work. Your dark mistress commands it!”

    I’m trying for ‘I need to read this book because I want to know what’s going on.’

  74. 74
    Jay says:

    @Adam L Silverman:

    Hey, Adam, can you post this twit in it’s entirety,

    Firing for effect, per se.


  75. 75
    mrmoshpotato says:

    @Jay: LMAO! The DPRK_News account is tons of fun.

  76. 76
    mrmoshpotato says:

    @Jay: SECONDED! Can’t mail too many of them at once.

  77. 77

    Please, someone kill the auto playing videos for those of us who have a limited dataplan and love this site.

  78. 78
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @Frankensteinbeck: Is this like an evil Raggedy Anne and Andy type thing or are we talking tatterdemalions?

  79. 79
    Adam L Silverman says:


  80. 80

    @Adam L Silverman:
    That’s a good reaction for my purposes. Thank you!

    And because I’m just barely not rude enough to leave you hanging, it’s a book full of living dolls, but in the case of the bundlish they’re shadows that cover themselves with multiple layers of human clothing, because if anyone sees that they’re only a shadow they disappear.

  81. 81
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @Patricia Gaedeke: It was supposed to have been turned off. I’ll ping Alain tomorrow, but I think he’s out and about until Monday.

  82. 82
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @Frankensteinbeck: Okay, that makes sense. Because I wasn’t sure if you were going with some sort of fairy creature that had been bound into doll form or some variant of Terry Brook’s version of tatterdemalions from his Knight and Void series or some variant of what DC Comics was doing with the character Ragman or something else entirely.

  83. 83

    @Adam L Silverman: Weird Science.

    A word of warning to you and other residents of Floriduh, there will be a crazy blond Korean woman in your state for the next week.

  84. 84
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @🐾BillinGlendaleCA: Kim saw what the PRC did with the massage/day spa lady and is trying to infiltrate Mar a Lago?

  85. 85
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @🐾BillinGlendaleCA: Also, is the blonde part what is crazy? The Korean part? Or the woman part?

  86. 86
    hitchhiker says:

    When our girls were 12 and 14 we took them to Sarasota for our family’s one and only beach vacation. Mr H was in his second year of using a wheelchair; we by god pushed that mofo across the sand so he could hang out and be by the water.

    The girls played in the surf and tried not to look at the oldies parading up and down the beach behind them, but there was This One Guy. He was shaped roughly like the photo-bomber above, and he was wearing this grotesque thong thingie.

    It was basically a sort of jock strap, only in speedo material. His junk was all tucked into this pouch, and his bum was naked with just the butt floss part of the outfit visible as it disappeared in between his cheeks.

    The first time he sauntered past, I saw both girls’ heads turn, then look at each other, then find me watching them. All 3 of us had the exact same expression on our faces: GAWP!

    I developed a theory that he was acting out some kind of weird sex slave game, and his master had forced him to make x number of trips up and down the beach every day. Weirdest thing ever. This was 15 years ago, and we still only have to murmur, “thong man” to bring the gawp expression to our faces.

  87. 87
    Chetan Murthy says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: You left out levels of mendacity so high that Tracey Ullman’s made it a running gag:


  88. 88
    sukabi says:

    @Adam L Silverman: believe his nice wife is visiting.

  89. 89
    Mary G says:

    @Adam L Silverman: The Guardian had an article a week or so ago saying that King Salman had reined in MBS, but I haven’t seen anything about it since. Have you any news?

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    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @hitchhiker: He could have simply been German. Or Italian.

  92. 92
    sukabi says:

    @Chetan Murthy: I take it Tracey doesn’t like him. 😲😂😂😂😂

  93. 93
    Chetan Murthy says:

    @sukabi: Weeeeelll, she kinda has it in for the lot of ’em. You should see the ones of her lampooning Nicola Sturgeon and “wee Mhairi”. And, heck, soon-to-be-former PM May. And …. Angela Merkel’s crush on Macron. And Corbyn! Omigosh she’s brutal to him! I mean it goes on and on. She’s brutal to everybody. But I suppose Gove is so easy to lampoon, with his complete moral vacuity, and vacuity more generally.

  94. 94
    Jay says:


    It’s called a budgie smuggler, and yes, it’s a “swimsuit” of sorts.

  95. 95
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Jay: Banana hammock.

  96. 96
    Suzanne says:

    @hitchhiker: I saw something similar one time on a girls’ trip to Las Vegas. My friends and I were staying at one of the resort hotels, and it just so happened that we were there at the same time that the hotel was hosting a bodybuilding convention. My friends and I were lounging by the pool, which was close to full and there was much buzz and activity. Then one dude, who admittedly did have a nice body—if one is into the bodybuilder type—walked out into the pool area in a G-string.

    Dead silence.

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    Steeplejack says:

    @zhena gogolia:

    Thanks. I saw your comment. I (almost) always circle back before deleting a thread.

  99. 99
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @Mary G: Other than that article? No I haven’t.

  100. 100
    trollhattan says:

    Kids today don’t want any of your angst.

    The Auschwitz Museum has asked visitors to be more respectful after an upsurge of pictures posted on social media showing people posing on the train tracks that lead to the main gate.

  101. 101
    rikyrah says:

    Disney Princesses without makeup.
    The commentary 😂😂🤣🤣


  102. 102
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @sukabi: I’ll alert the authorities.//

  103. 103
    Jay says:


    Once upon a time, ( that’s how you know it’s a fairy tale), I used to wear a speedo in the gym pool. I had swam compeditively for years, had started lifting regularly, and rock climbing.

    After a short period of time, I stopped wearing smalls, switched to large or extra large, and moved to loose fit jeans. Surf shorts or baggy gym shorts for the pool.

    The first time I took my shirt off infront of the woman who became the love of my life, she said, “OMG, are there 12 of those?”.

  104. 104

    @Adam L Silverman: All three, be afraid, be very afraid.

    My step-daughter will be spending a week in your lovely state. She’s Korean, blond and female and likes to jump out of perfectly good airplanes.

  105. 105
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @🐾BillinGlendaleCA: It’s the Gunshine State, we’re already there.

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    @sukabi: She’s arriving in Miami and flying back ASAP, the kid is staying for a music festival of some kind.

    ETA: Madame and the kid were on a mother-daughter bonding cruise for the last week.

  107. 107

    @Adam L Silverman: Being that she flew there, she couldn’t bring her piece. Can she rent one there?

    ETA: Or is a firearm standard equipment with a car rental?

  108. 108
    sukabi says:

    @Chetan Murthy: from the little I’ve seen of the British Parliament they are as beclowned as our republican party.

  109. 109
    Omnes Omnibus says:


    and likes to jump out of perfectly good airplanes.

    That is a perfectly cromulent pastime.

  110. 110
    sukabi says:

    @hitchhiker: you sure thong man wasn’t Dershowitz? He’s got a thing for walking beaches nekkid, or nearly….also seems to haave a Florida connection.

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    sukabi says:

    @🐾BillinGlendaleCA: 😊 nice they’re having a bonding vacay.

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    Jay says:


    The Speaker of the House is a Nancy Smash.

  115. 115
    Jay says:


    Dursh has way more body hair, like a full Chubacca(sp).

  116. 116
    sukabi says:

    @Jay: republican …as beclowned as the republican party.

    The dems are for the most part sane.

  117. 117
    sukabi says:

    @Jay: don’t even want to know how you know. 🙈🙉🙊

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    @Jay: Good, I see they’re a full service state.

  119. 119
    Bill Arnold says:

    @Adam L Silverman:

    Gove is a hardcore Brexiter. He’s also heavily involved in the financial sector. He’s likely been shorting the pound and other British stocks for several years now.

    If this were true (I’d be surprised if it wasn’t fwiw), how is it F-ing legal? How is it different than, say, shorting a oil company’s stock, and then causing a massive oil spill by overtly [not gonna write down scenarios, personal rule]? I mean, disregarding morality given utterly predictable consequences, such as the (homo sapiens) body count for a hard Brexit, which will probably run lower bound in the 10s of thousands, and potentially much higher if it starts a cascade that seriously damages the world economy.

  120. 120
    Jay says:


    Martha’s Vinyard talks.

  121. 121
    Chetan Murthy says:

    @Bill Arnold: It’s pretty sordid, even if none of the grandees has been caught with his hand in the till:


    Sources told Bloomberg that they believed Brexit to have generated “one of the most profitable single days in the history of their industry.” Odey Asset Management, run by the Conservative party donor and leave supporter Crispin Odey, is reported to have made $300m from Brexit.

    [I guess we gotta remember that insider trading by members of Congress is legal, so hey, we’re not any better.]

  122. 122
    Chetan Murthy says:

    @Chetan Murthy: Oh I forgot the most sordid bit:

    It is illegal under British electoral law to “publish” exit polls before 10pm on the day of an election or referendum. Hedge funds and pollsters appear to have interpreted the law so as to permit the private provision of exit poll data to select individuals. A prominent barrister told Bloomberg that the legal definition of “publish” had never been tested.

  123. 123
    Jay says:

    @Bill Arnold:

    It’s as legal as US Legislators writing legislation that effects stocks they own or Needy Amin twitting to short Boeing.

    It’s how a guy with $1500 in declared assets when entering office retires on $480 million on an annual salary of $84k.

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    kindness says:

    John Cole you dirty old man you. Politeness would think you’d put a beefcake one up for balance.

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