I have a lot of things I want to write about right now but I am completely distracted by this:
A scientist has stumbled upon a creature with a “transient anus” that appears only when it is needed, before vanishing completely.
The warty comb jelly, or sea walnut, looks a lot like a jellyfish, but the new finding reveals it may represent a critical stage in evolutionary history.
The phrase “transient anus” is fucking glorious.
Major Major Major Major
This has been getting a lot of play in the gay meme community.
Ruckus
I’ve been around a few tranrsient anuses before, but it was on a plane, train or bus.
chopper
of course, “enormous, mendacious, disembodied anus” pops up top of the page.
Brachiator
Sic transit gloria anus
Chip Daniels
I have a list of people for whom “transient anus” is a perfect descriptor.
matt
‘transient anus’ is an unwieldy term though. It should be called an ‘Imus’.
SiubhanDuinne
It’s the name of my new band.
Ahasuerus
I’ve been called worse.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
manafort is speaking in his hearing, which Ari Melber tells will be the last thing before sentencing
Brachiator
A couple of my co-workers have season’s passes to Disneyland. This has got them all shook up
Pogonip
Suuuure he “stumbled upon” it.
?
VeniceRiley
Transient Anus is Paul Manafort’s prison name.
Chad Tutcher
@Brachiator: Oy,Vey!
chopper
@VeniceRiley:
oh i get it, it’s a prison rape joke.
Baud
Worst superhero idea ever.
MomSense
@SiubhanDuinne:
I’ll sing back up vocals!
Roger Moore
@VeniceRiley:
No, I think people in Trump’s orbit are assholes all the time.
Brachiator
Terry Gross interview with Jane Mayer on Fresh Air
The White House And Its ‘Shadow Cabinet’ Of Fox News TV Hosts
VeniceRiley
@chopper: I didn’t mean it that way. But you’re free to read it however you wish.
Betty Cracker
@SiubhanDuinne: Damn it, SD! I was gonna call it for MY band name. The only solution is for us to form a band.
A Ghost To Most
Transient Anus seems to fit the current occupant of 1600 Pennsylvania.
Betty Cracker
@MomSense: I’m on uke!
M. Bouffant
Ass in passing.
A Ghost To Most
@Betty Cracker: Butt Shine and the Turd Polishers is taken.
Major Major Major Major
@VeniceRiley: Pray tell, what other way could that possibly be understood?
Mnemosyne
@Brachiator:
They’d better check their blackout dates before they get too excited. Our calendars are looking pretty ugly.
Pogonip
@Baud: ????
hitchhiker
texted that to mr hitchhiker, and he instantly claimed it as HIS band name, with Jelly McPoopbomb as his own stage name.
then he texted a fantasy about how he would only show off his transient anus if members of the audience flung their underwear at him. (both our daughters and their husbands are on this ongoing family text … )
yes, apparently i AM married to a 9-yr-old.
happily.
Gin & Tonic
As I said downstairs, I don’t know about the rest of you but I’m dying of suspense waiting for the Manafort sentencing.
hilts
transient anus – Secret Service code name for Jared Kushner
Brachiator
@A Ghost To Most: The president of Algeria is named Bouteflika, and yes, I find that amusing.
MomSense
@Betty Cracker:
I think you should do one song in a French accent!
VeniceRiley
@Major Major Major Major: Is every mention of an asshole in prison a rape reference?
Jay
@Major Major Major Major:
A) transient, eg. broke, homeless
B) anus, asshole.
A Ghost To Most
@Brachiator: Me too. I hope I die before I get old.
Smedley Darlington Prunebanks (formerly Mumphrey, et al.)
It would be great if we had a transient anus in the White House, but sadly, the asshole who lives there is there all the time.
geg6
@MomSense:
BWAHAHAHAHA!
geg6
Manafort is going to get nothing. This judge is a dick.
Major Major Major Major
@Jay: Ahhhh.
hitchhiker
Since we’re open-threading, I just remembered that today is the 18th anniversary of the day I sat in a tiny conference room off the local trauma center ER and got told by a doctor that my husband was seriously injured, and that the likelihood was that he’d never have movement or sensation below the level of his nipples again.
I remember that he waved his two hands around in a floppy, useless way to give me the picture that mr. h would not have the use of his fingers and thumbs. I remember that he suggested mr. h might have trouble breathing on his own from now on.
Our kids were 10 and 12, waiting out in the lounge with a friend who had come down to sit with us.
I had to tell them.
Fast forward, most of that was at least partially wrong, though the struggle from that day to this one was … intense.
Anyway, here’s to surviving a broken neck on the side of a mountain! Here’s to helicopters and brilliant nurses and dedicated physical therapists and neuroscientists. Here’s to him.
The Midnight Lurker
Transient anus… I got nothin’. Damn.
Drunkenhausfrau
Great band name.
a thousand flouncing lurkers (was fidelio)
@Betty Cracker: According to Elizabeth Bear, over on the Twitters, they toured with the Dead Kennedys.
https://twitter.com/matociquala/status/1102912151189098502?s=21
kindness
Transient Anus sounds like a punk band name.
PaulWartenberg
oh no.
they’re gonna name it after trump.
and trump’s gonna think it’s an honor…
Kathleen
@kindness: Or a farting bus.
Gin & Tonic
47 months. That’s it?
Fuck.
hilts
47 months for Manafort
hilts
@geg6:
This judge is an anus.
Humdog
@hitchhiker: And here is to you, hitchhiker, for being with him through every step in his recovery. That is a wonderful and remarkable story, thank you for sharing it. I’d go see his band even if it has a disgusting name!
Ohio Mom
@hitchhiker: Wow. You have reason to celebrate.
MisterForkbeard
@Brachiator: Yep! You also have to reserve a spot to go for the first few months.
It looks very cool. I might go to Disneyland for the first time since I was 5.
Betty
@hitchhiker: So happy you have some things to celebrate in spite of the challenges.
different-church-lady
“Did I ever tell you about a man who taught his asshole to talk?”
Adam Geffen
@Major Major Major Major:
I was going to say something along those lines but I’m too slow. ;)
Martin
Found my next character name!
Adam Geffen
An open thread about anus seems as good a place as any to ask a question I’ve had for a while.
I’ve been lurking here since about 2011 (maybe it was a little earlier). Can someone explain to me the hatred here for Glenn Greenwald? I’ve been around long enough to know a fair number of people here really really hate him but I haven’t been able to get a handle on why. Insight please?
different-church-lady
@Adam Geffen: Short answer: he’s a professional troll.
Long answer: He’s a professional troooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooll.
Adam Geffen
@different-church-lady:
lol
Would it be possible to elaborate? Why is he viewed as a troll?
Black Onion
Transient Anus is the name of my food truck that only serves varieties of chocolate donuts.
NonStopRocka
I have been reading this blog for 10 plus years, and this might just be my favorite thing J Cole has ever posted.
Another Scott
@Adam Geffen: Here’s a rather notorious example.
A Google search for “site:balloon-juice.com greenie” will turn up several others.
HTH a little.
Cheers,
Scott.
Adam Geffen
@Black Onion:
Chocolate anuses are a thing. Your food truck should sell those.
Adam Geffen
@Another Scott:
Thank you for the link! I’ll take a gander when I’m able.
Roger Moore
@Adam Geffen:
My basic objection to Greenwald is that he pretends to be a factual journalist when he’s actually an advocate. A factual journalist is supposed to dig up as much evidence as possible, reach a conclusion based on the evidence, and present the evidence and conclusion to their audience. An advocate takes a position, finds evidence to support it, and constructs an argument using that evidence to support their position. An advocate can try to minimize or undermine evidence that contradicts their position, which a factual journalist is not supposed to do. There is some blurry space in the middle- someone who starts out looking just for facts may find the evidence so compelling that they feel obligated to advocate for the position the facts push them toward, and a good advocate must know enough about the facts counter to their position to be able to rebut them effectively- but those are the two ideals.
Greenwald is clearly an advocate. He comes from a background in law rather than journalism, and he has always argued like an advocate rather than a fact finder. But when he’s challenged on his conclusions, he acts as if he’s a factual journalist and anyone who contradicts him is the one ignoring the evidence, even when they’re the ones presenting evidence he’s ignored. Even worse, he has tried to do factual journalism while maintaining his basic orientation as an advocate, with really bad results. The classic example was his writing on Snowden’s document trove. He started from a position of opposition to any kind of spy program and looked through the documents for evidence that the US government was doing something wrong. He ignored evidence of internal controls to minimize the risk of domestic spying, conflated domestic and international spying, and generally twisted the facts as much as necessary to portray the US government as engaged in wrongful behavior. It was exactly what factual journalists are supposed to avoid. He went in with a conclusion and looked for facts to bolster it rather than starting with facts and working to the conclusion they supported.
Chris Johnson
Clearly not the only one singing to myself, “enormous… mendacious… disembodied anus…” o/`
HeartlandLiberal
The jellyfish shall inherit the earth. I just read an article in Discover Magazine (or Smithsonian, one or the other), about jellyfish. One scientist harvested a medusa adult stage, took it to the lab, got distracted and forgot to transfer it to proper salt water, left in fresh water. Came back the next day, and it was gone. In its place was a polyp. In essence it had REVERSED the life cycle, reverted to polyp stage, to save itself. Leading to new insights into fact that some jellyfish might just be immortal, those species that can do this. Unless they are eaten, of course, which tends to end the life cycle.
P.S. this blogs is using such low contrast fonts (trendy right now but a disaster), that I can almost not see the boxes to type in my Nym and address, etc, when posting. I sincerely hope the new design (which I chipped a few bucks in for) will address this issue, and NOT go so low contrast I cannot even read the d*mend blog. Grump.
Dupe1970
@SiubhanDuinne: came here for this comment. thanks!