Comic CPAC Relief Open Thread: Every Circus Needs Its Sideshows

Be honest: would you get between this guy and a hamburger?

Ladeez and gentlebeings — Jacob Wohl!

Goddess willing, by 2023 CPAC will be one of those historical monstrosities, like the 1976 Republic convention, known only to desperate poli-sci students looking for a PhD topic… and unwitting fellow site attendees reminiscing about just how weird that weekend got after dark.

31 replies
  1. 1
    TriassicSands says:

    Goddess willing, by 2023 CPAC will be one of those historical monstrosities, like the 1976 Republic convention, known only to desperate poli-sci students looking for a PhD topic…

    Yes, (a similar thought) I hope it will be like smallpox — a horrible disease of the past that has been wiped out except for samples safely stored in a BSL Level 4 lab.

  2. 2
    MattF says:

    But the taco truck menace is a national emergency. The end game is when they’ve take over every corner!

  3. 3
    JWR says:

    Oh God. Guess who’s on Seth Meyer’s Late Night? Not gonna tell you who, you’ll have to either watch, or guess. (Wilmer, er, winner, gets Free Health Care!)

  4. 4
    Geoboy says:

    We recently attended a wedding where the food at the reception was from a taco truck. It was incredibly good!

  5. 5
    Chyron HR says:


    Western civilization was a mistake.

  6. 6
    Baud says:

    “They want to take away your hamburgers. This is what Stalin dreamt about but never achieved.”

    Fascists gotta fast.

  7. 7
    scav says:

    The Hamburglar’s real allegiance is to Stalin?! Or, the Hamburglar is Stalin?!!! Alert the authorities as to this dangerous infiltration!

  8. 8
    OzarkHillbilly says:

    What happens at CPAC, stays at CPAC.

  9. 9
    J R in WV says:


    blech on CPAC !!

    And Fuck LBJ for Raven! now back to bed after hydration.

  10. 10
    JPL says:

    My morning bowl of oatmeal seems boring after so much talk about beef. ugh

  11. 11
    OzarkHillbilly says:

    WHERE’S THE BEEF?????????????

  12. 12
    Enhanced Voting Techniques says:

    No socialized beef for you.

    So Gorka accused Joseph “Moar Steel Mills” Stalin of being an environmentalist. I see.

  13. 13
    CliosFanboy says:

    Is it still going on today? I wonder how many of my students will skip class to go? There’s usually one or two.

  14. 14
    arrieve says:

    I haven’t had my allotted one cup of caffeine yet so am having trouble making sense of all the stupidity. Oh wait…

  15. 15
    SFAW says:

    As with Jimmy O’Keefe, Wohl just hasn’t met “the right person” yet.

    And by “right person,” I mean someone he/they tried to fuck over, who then pounds the ever-loving shit out of him/them.

  16. 16
    SFAW says:


    I wonder how many of my students will skip class to go? There’s usually one or two.

    “You get an F! And YOU get an F!. And YOU …”

  17. 17
    low-tech cyclist says:

    @Geoboy: Where’s MY taco truck, dammit? I want a taco truck on MY corner!!

  18. 18
    chopper says:

    the liberals want to take away your hamburgers! and replace them with greasy, tasteless “hamberders”! are we gonna let them? NO!

  19. 19
    kindness says:

    What is really sad about the Trump era is that CPAC is now comic relief. That is truly sad.

  20. 20
    chopper says:

    jesus, these guys are still living in the vietnam era. which is funny, cause the guys that are old enough to have gone all dodged the draft.

    I think it is bogus, totally artificial. There is no threat. The Communists are not about to take over our McDonald hamburger stands.

    – john kerry, in his testimony in front of the senate foreign relations committee, 4/22/1971

  21. 21
    Matt says:

    Shorter wingnutz: “AOC is gonna take my penis hamburgers away!”

  22. 22

    .. this is basically how Russians imagines all Americans are: fattened on fast-food, spoiled, and deeply stupid.

    Hence, the American President. The irony is delicious, though calorie-laden.

  23. 23
    Gelfling 545 says:

    @Geoboy: My daughter is doing this for her wedding in July. With gourmet popcorn hors d’oeuvres. The ring bearer and flower girls are alpacas. .

  24. 24

    @Geoboy: My cousins in Madison, WI, had a big tent in an open field for their wedding. The wedding feast consisted of barbecue chicken, tacos, and ice cream goodies from three independent food trucks.The refrigerated beer trailer was far and away the most popular destination (DadFromNY was responsible for changing the kegs, particularly the root beer kegs for the kiddoes and teetotalers). It was an absolute blast, and it made for a splendid communal feast for several hundred guests, many of who were meeting for the first time. The food truck peeps left trays of leftovers in the refrigerated beer truck that were consumed at the after-party the next day. Everything, including the beer and ice cream, was locally sourced. Plenty of fattened, spoiled Americans were had that day.

  25. 25
    Big Jim Slade says:

    CPAC, IPECAC; to-may-to, to-mah-to.

  26. 26
    Duane says:

    Squirrels stand in awe at the abundance of nuts CPAC has gathered.

  27. 27
    Jimbo says:

    Bunch of cartoon villains.

    Unfortunately, with real-world consequences.

  28. 28
    J R in WV says:


    Top quality snark, I tip my crown to you, fine Jackal!!!

  29. 29
    johncarter says:

    I’ll give you my hamberder when you pry it from my cold, ketchup and cheese covered hands!

    (Fish sandwich? Meh!)

  30. 30
    Chip Daniels says:

    So, I’m not getting out of the boat…was Wohl’s fly zipped up this time?

  31. 31
    Panurge says:


    these guys are still living in the vietnam era

    They’ve mostly repealed even that, and taken us with them. If enough people decide we’re in the New Fifties, then we are.

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