CPAC Open Thread: Clown Parade of Annoying Charlatans

Reporter for RightWingWatch:

(Sanctioned MyPillows salesman outranks RNC chairwoman, for reasons. I’m sure she’s used to it, by now.)

(He gave up for the day after lunch, poor man.)

(Demurral: The rich ones aren’t very smart, either.)

(If the GOP keeps doing this, AOC will someday break John Dingell’s record tenure.)

It feels as if Rick Wilson’s #Everything Trump Touches Dies mantra may apply even to, well…

85 replies
  1. 1
    r€nato says:

    aka the Treason, Incels, Misogynists, and Corporate Whores Conference

  2. 2
    Baud says:

    I was never that interested in these yahoos, but they seem like an annoying distraction now that they have their guy in the White House.

  3. 3
    DaveInOz says:

    Whatever your thoughts on Bernie, and I think his time past a long time ago, the fact that he inspired @AOC to run for Congress is a great thing.

  4. 4
    dmsilev says:

    The Democrat appearing in CPAC videos and speeches the most, by far: @AOC. More than any 2020 Dem. An Oliver North-narrated NRA video just ended with the footage of her dancing outside her office, with the color drained to make it look more ominous.

    Now I’m imagining that footage of her twirling around once or twice [*] in black and white as (rolls dice) O Fortuna from Carmina Burana plays in the background.

    [*] Said twirling, you will no doubt remember, was her mocking the right-wing goobers who thought that a college-aged AOC dancing in a college-PR-produced “viral” video was scandalous Because Reasons.

  5. 5
    SFAW says:


    aka the Treason, Incels, Misogynists, and Corporate Whores

    I like it, but it doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue. Maybe TRIMmers?


    I had considered adding “Fascist Motherfuckers,” but that is not exactly acronymous.

    I’m sure the more literate jackals can come up with something better.

  6. 6
    Mary G says:

    Is it just me not paying that much attention, or has CPAC gotten sketchier and screechier over the years? Would the MyPillow guy have been a keynote speaker ten years ago?

  7. 7
    patrick II says:

    I heard a “My Pillow” commercial done by a conservative radio talk show host during a three for one sale. His pitch was that you could have two more pillows to hide your guns under. Probably a very successful add in some circles.

  8. 8
    plato says:

    Looks like we were talking about these thugs only yesterday. Does time pass so quickly? Or do these assholes meet up every too often?

  9. 9

    @Baud: It was an annoying distraction before, too, also.

  10. 10
    jl says:

    I haven’t had time or taste to keep track of things, but as Mueller probe hit more paydirt, and he handed off more investigations to other agencies, seems like NRA has been very quiet. For example, fewer incitement videos about the mortal threat to civil order of non-whites and liberals. My imagination? Not sure what the truth of it is.

  11. 11

    Wait, Oliver North, the President of the NRA, is not so associated with the NRA? O_o

  12. 12
    Immanentize says:

    @SFAW: I think just “TRIM” would be perfect

  13. 13
    Baud says:

    Lanny Davis on Rachel sayin Cohen gave “explosive” testimony today in closed hearing.

  14. 14
    jl says:

    @Baud: CPAC is sort of like a Baud 2020! convention, except bad ideas instead of no ideas or silly ideas

  15. 15
    SFAW says:


    seems like NRA has been very quiet.
    Not sure what the truth of it is.

    Would I be considered a “poor role model” if I hoped for multiple suicides, starting with Wayne LaPierre and Dana Loesch?

  16. 16
    Baud says:

    @DaveInOz: The cost of that inspiration was too high.

  17. 17
    plato says:

    Elijah Cummings, Eric Swalwell, Adam Schiff – they all seem to be waking up and smelling kushner corruption only after fynyt ‘expose’? Everyone knew it was nepotism hire with fraudulent forms filling.

  18. 18
    jl says:

    @SFAW: Yes, you would be a very poor role model, IMHO. I personally would prefer you not post thoughts like that. Especially when referring to my comments.

    Edit: God, or the Great Spaghetti Monster, or karma, will sort it all out eventually. I, myself, wish them very happy happy very prosperous very private non-public lives, which I hope entices them into retirement from public life. Hope they get so many fun expensive hobbies that they forget to contribute to any political causes.

  19. 19
    SFAW says:


    Lanny Davis on Rachel sayin Cohen gave “explosive” testimony today in closed hearing.

    Who’s paying Lanny Davis? Steyer? Soros? The Joooos? Obama and the Moooslims? Jane Fonda?

    I don’t recall which Traitor it was that was asking Cohen questions like that yesterday, but my car radio heard a lot of “Shut the fuck up, you motherfucker”s when that was playing.

  20. 20
    SFAW says:


    OK. Sincere apologies.

    ETA: After reading your response, I tried to edit the original, but was not in time.

  21. 21
    trollhattan says:

    Sweet rompin’ Ronny Reagan on a Roomba, they’re predicting rain returning to Calif tomorrow night and through most of next week.

    You can stop now, m’kay? We’re all soggy now, save some for next year.

  22. 22
    jl says:

    @SFAW: Better to look on the bright side. Gratuitous ill thoughts work both ways. That is just my probably superstitious view on it.

    Edit: Thanks for your response.

  23. 23
    Amir Khalid says:

    I cannot see the name Matt Schlapp without wondering if he has a brother named Dick.

  24. 24

    OK, what or who is the “My Pillow Guy”?

  25. 25
    Jay says:


    The Nib had an infographic showing that the MRA/Incels/PUC/4chan/GG’s all wind up as Nazi’s

    I stopped bothering to parse which flavour of Nazi a Nazi was, I just call them all Nazis.

  26. 26
    Jim, Foolish Literalist says:

    @Amir Khalid: you give me an excuse to repost one of my favorite twitter prose-poems

    Simon Maloy @ SimonMaloy
    “matt schlapp” is the sound made by two pork chops falling onto a linoleum floor

  27. 27
    joel hanes says:


    seems like NRA has been very quiet.

    I think that they were a conduit for illegal Russian mobster campaign contributions
    to a bunch of Republicans in 2016, and they know it,
    and they know that if anyone really investigates
    their ass is grass.

    So keeping a low profile is adviseable.
    I really hope it’s not sufficient, and that Wayne and all his co-conspirators
    spend much of the rest of their life in court and in the pokey.

  28. 28
    Dan B says:

    @dmsilev: It constantly hits me in the face, as a Kinsey 6 Gold Star gay, that AOC drives the wingers nuts because she’s sexy, but not in an obedient / constrained way. She’s not a Stepford girl and she’s not a hippie chick a frat bro could use and discard. Their id is excited and they hate the power she has over them.

    She’s also smart smart smart and not afraid to own it or boastful. Women are supposed to be reserved in their intelligence to defer to the breadwinners and true leaders. These entitled bros and their wimmens, even the ones with power (frequently with power from hanging onto men’s careers, not always but often enough in right wing circles… ugh – so 50’s, so Joe McCarthy era)

    The fact that she’s getting big coverage that puts a solution to global warming by leveraging “evil” government is driving them beyond crazy town. I can’t wait for the next chapter. She seems like she’s a sweet little thing and that makes their attacks seem monstrous. (Well, even MORE monstrous.) Ignore her she wins, attack her they lose! Wunnerful wunnerful!

  29. 29
    plato says:

    @jl: Didn’t these nra thugs release an ad just this week with Pelosi and AOC photos along side the words ‘target practice’? Dale’s reading on these vicious thugs is wrong.

  30. 30
    Dan B says:

    @Baud: Who .were the repubs in the hearing? At first I was envisioning Gym Jordan with his shirt and tie shredded and covered with fireworks residue, hair emitting wisps of smoke, and a look of shock on his face. But… not him.

  31. 31
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Jay: I once had a Twitter argument with someone I ended up calling a Nazi. He was hurt and explained that he was a white supremacist not a Nazi. To me, it is a distinction without a difference.

  32. 32
    Another Scott says:

    @🐾BillinGlendaleCA: CNBC report (6:21).



  33. 33
    tobie says:

    @Dan B: Kay said she’s the happy warrior. I guess I’d add she’s the happy, sassy warrior and that drives right-wingers nuts evidently.

  34. 34
    jl says:

    @joel hanes: Hope that criminals face appropriate legal consequences is certainly OK in my book.

  35. 35
    AliceBlue says:

    I bought one of the My Pillow guy’s pillows at Bed Bath & Beyond a few years ago, before I knew what a wingnutter he is. I should set it on fire, but I like it too much.

  36. 36
    Jim, Foolish Literalist says:

    @Dan B: More
    RepSeanMaloney tells chrislhayes many republicans didn’t show up for the hearing today #inners

  37. 37
  38. 38
    Dan B says:

    @plato: I believe it was Pelosi, Gabby Giffords, and some other women. Ugly over the top ad that should doom the NRA to crazy terrorist cult status. What happened to the responsible gun safety organization? Oh, ideology and mammon… almost forgot.

  39. 39
    jl says:

    @Dan B: A number of newcomers in progressive caucus are impressive in same way as AOC, even if they don’t have the flamboyant social media skills. From clips I saw, a few of them do much better, and better prepared, direct, and no-nonsense questioning than older fart Congress people.

  40. 40
    noncarborundum says:


    I don’t recall which Traitor it was that was asking Cohen questions like that yesterday

    Jordan, I think.

  41. 41
    debbie says:


    She’s their new Nancy. They seem to have given up on getting rid of the original one.

  42. 42
    SFAW says:

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist:

    @Dan B: More
    RepSeanMaloney tells chrislhayes many republicans didn’t show up for the hearing today #inners

    Gee, it’s almost as if the only thing they cared about was playing to the rubes that watch Fox TV. I can’t believe that, because that would imply cynicism, not honour, on their part. And so are they all, all honourable men.

  43. 43
    chris says:

    @Dan B: Not an ad but an article in the NRA magazine, American Rifleman. No less disgusting though.

  44. 44
    Dan B says:

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: Who’s the snowflake? Or… Who are the frikken Snowflakes!?!

    And isn’t Maloney one of the gay ones? Sweet payback!

  45. 45
    Steve in the ATL says:

    @Amir Khalid: this is a quality post. Kudos.

    Steve arbitrating a really stupid case in swampville, Texas aka Houston

  46. 46
    kindness says:

    @trollhattan: Absolutely not! We need as much snow in the mountains as we can get so I can ski till May. I got an Epic Pass this year.

  47. 47
  48. 48
    SFAW says:


    Thanks, although I’m not sure if it actually matters. They were all interchangeable robots in the great shriek-fest, some stupider than others, but still pretty much the same. Although probably not all of them were assistant wrestling coaches who looked the other way re: sexual assault. But then again, they’re Rethugs, so who knows?

  49. 49
    Gin & Tonic says:

    My son went to DC for another conference today. Texted me at some point that he hadn’t realized CPAC was going on, but that would explain the obviously out-of-town guys in bad suits vaping on the Metro platform.

  50. 50
    Jim, Foolish Literalist says:

    @SFAW: Gee, it’s almost as if the only thing they cared about was playing to the rubes that watch Fox TV.

    For one TeeVee-addled rube in particular

    One Rube to rule them all….

  51. 51
    HeleninEire says:

    So incredibly O/T. But I’ve been back for only 4 weeks. I don’t really watch TV but I do watch The Food Channel.

    When did Alton Brown go bald? Is he sick? Or has he just decided to go natural? Really. I’m kinda freaked out.

  52. 52
    SFAW says:

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist:

    For one TeeVee-addled rube in particular

    You know, by now, you’d think I’d not need to be reminded of that. Fucking senility, pisses me right-the-fuck off.

  53. 53
    Jay says:


    She also smart, smart, smart. Her twitter is a joy, and most of it’s not about “her”.


    As it was pointed out on a thread last night, many of them are “insurgents”, who didn’t come up “through the machine”, and they arn’t coopted by the smarmy DC “culture club”.

    They are there to “work”.

  54. 54
    Dan B says:

    @jl: Yep, the new crop are something. And it seems like Nancy is giving them the opportunity to shine. My rep, Pramila Jayapal is on her way. She’s coming across as above average only because the new crop are so dazzling for beginners. Pramila is a charismatic speaker and wildly smart. Plus her principles are her beginning, middle, and end points. It feels like they are all going to be a wave that will cleanse and transform the US. The Kochs, Mercers, and DeVos / Prince families will be struggling for decades.

  55. 55
    Steeplejack says:


    Short version is that he’s the Papa John of TV infomercial pillow sales.

  56. 56
    Dan B says:

    @Amir Khalid: Having seen Matt Schlap in action I have no desire to see his brother or the offending apoendage, or any facsimile, or anything related. He makes Gymmie seem nice. He and Stephen Miller would make a love child that would scare Charles Manson.

  57. 57
    Jay says:


    He’s had health issues for years. One of his last Good Eats episode had him smoking a salmon in a cardboard box in the parking lot of a fishing resort. His wife had called ahead to the resort to ban him from the kitchen, because she knew he would break his diet, and of course he did.

  58. 58
    Dan B says:

    @Gin & Tonic: Did Grindr crash today? Asking for a friend in DC.

  59. 59
    Steve in the ATL says:

    @Dan B: well played.

  60. 60
    Dan B says:

    @Jay: Dolly Parton, Jane Fonda, Lily Tomlin, and friends need to do a new version of 9 to 5. Guest starring doubles of the new working reps. I can think of a few SNL cast members who could audition… McKinnon, achoo, Strong, achoo!

    Oh my, there’s one in the works. Who gets Dabney Coleman’s slot? Gymmie, achoo!!

  61. 61
    Ken says:

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: What would be the point, with no cameras?

  62. 62
    Mike in NC says:

    Stated in the previous thread: CPAC attendees are drooling morons who think Trump walks on water.

  63. 63
    Millard Filmore says:

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist:

    RepSeanMaloney tells chrislhayes many republicans didn’t show up for the hearing today

    “Hey! We already know what happened, and we DON’T need your help to cover it up.”

  64. 64
    Millard Filmore says:


    Absolutely not! We need as much snow in the mountains as we can get so I can ski till May.

    Quitting early are you? Mammoth will be open into July.

  65. 65
    Dan B says:

    @Steve in the ATL: That was the joke in Chicago when Daley 1 “cleaned up” the city before big conventions. The same thing happened (happens – prolly) in Seattle. All the rednecks show up in “liberal – wink wink” Seattle and…

    Reminds me of a trip Mike, my squeeze, and I did to Costa Rica. There was some snafu on arrival and we ended up at dinner with a guy who waxed on about how he loved his wife and family. It took us a while to catch his drift that some “women” were hanging out. It took him longer to grasp the fact that we were doing the wild thing with each other… Memorable look on his face. He’d had a great time hanging out with us. I’m sure he did some questioning of his heterosexuality although we had no doubt.

  66. 66
    Gin & Tonic says:

    @Dan B: I told my son I’d expect it to be overloaded.

  67. 67
    FLS says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: Certainly near as makes no difference.

  68. 68
    FLS says:

    @Steve in the ATL:

    @Amir Khalid: this is a quality post. Kudos.

    Very true.

    Are there any good wine lists Swampville?

  69. 69
    debbie says:

    @Another Scott:

    Keeping in mind how editorial schedules work, the article would have been concepted not long after the election. Who knows what they have up their smarmy sleeves going forward?

  70. 70
    Alternative Fax, a hip hop artist from Idaho says:

    @debbie: Whatever it is, it’s not gonna be pretty

  71. 71
    Anne Laurie says:


    OK, what or who is the “My Pillow Guy”?

    That’s why I included the link, dude!

  72. 72
    Anne Laurie says:

    @Dan B:

    I was envisioning Gym Jordan with his shirt and tie shredded and covered with fireworks residue, hair emitting wisps of smoke, and a look of shock on his face.

    The line we used growing up, when someone got (usually deservedly) blasted that way, was “He didn’t need those eyebrows, anyways.”

  73. 73

    @Anne Laurie: Kind of skimmed right over that link, I guess I was distracted by the roundball game I was watching.

  74. 74
    smike says:

    How about:
    TRIM-MF! (MotherfuckingFascist)

  75. 75
    opiejeanne says:

    @trollhattan: I just looked at the prediction for Blue Jay and we’re going to get quite a bit of rain too. We still have a couple of feet of snow so maybe that will help melt some of it but Big Bear does NOT need more rain. There is limited access to the area due to roads being undercut by heavy rain, and several streets were flooded to the point of needing a boat.

  76. 76
    ruemara says:

    @DaveInOz: Why? The lauds she’s getting for existing put a target on her.

    @Dan B: Y’all make my stomach roil with this.

    She’s made a number of unforced errors, not the least of which was jetting off to campaign against Sharice Davids. You’re kinda acting like the mirror image of the conservative obsession with her.

  77. 77
    danielx says:


    CPAC is sort of like a Baud 2020! convention, except bad ideas instead of no ideas or silly ideas

    What?!?? I beg to differ…any policy proposals put forth for perusal by a Baud!2020 convention would be more reasonable and coherent than anything coming out of CPAC. (Notice I left sensible out.) For that matter, would be a damn sight more reasonable than anything that’s come out of the current regime and then some.

    Thinking of the NRA, might could be that Maria Butina’s plea deal is making them nervous. Nice pic, by the way. Or maybe Wayne LaPierre’s schtick had gotten a little too over the top – every pic I ever saw of him delivering one of his speeches showed a man out and out raving, almost weeping with rage. Granted there are gun groups out there that think the NRA isn’t aggressive enough about endorsing every American’s right to own fully automatic silenced weapons, for example. (Okay, suppressed weapons, pedants.)

    Thinking about that #Everything Trump Touches Dies thing – I read Rick Wilson’s book. It has its moments, but it ain’t no Saul of Tarsus story. He doesn’t make the connect between previous Republican policies and Trump’s philosophy, which is Republican policy at its purest essence – I’m for me and it’s all about me, and fuck everyone else. Currently plowing through The Apprentice by Greg Miller, which is a lot chewier and more terrifying.

    Actually, more terrifying yet is the thought – hell, the fact – that a significant portion of my fellow citizens, by all evidence, don’t care what this person has done, is doing, and might do in the future. They will do whatever he says, and if he says ‘go into the streets with rifles’, a lot of them will do just that.

  78. 78
    JustRuss says:

    I’m loving their obsession with AOC. ‘Twere I a young conservative-curious dude, and a bunch of crotchety old dudes were showing this gorgeous young woman who seems to be having the time of her life as the face of the enemy, I know which side I’d want to be on.

  79. 79
    Jay says:


    And how is campaigning for a fellow Democratic Party member in a primary, an unforgivable sin?

  80. 80
    Sloane Ranger says:

    I’ve never understood this right wing love affwith Oliver North. Didn’t he sell arms to Iran, part of the axis of evil? Why isn’t he regarded as a Muslim, commie loving traitor for that?

  81. 81
    debbie says:

    @Sloane Ranger:

    Because he used those funds to finance a right-wing military junta. What could be more American? //

  82. 82
    laura says:

    @debbie: hey, he did more than that! He help flood LA and Oakland with cocaine and crack cocaine that destroyed families and communities which led to violence and over policing, punitive, crushing prison sentences and yet, North, a convicted felon and traitor to our nation gets plenty of time on the public stage as seems to happen when one is a Republican hack retread.

  83. 83
    Steve in the ATL says:

    @FLS: I hope so, but sadly not anywhere I’ve been

  84. 84
    Chris Johnson says:


  85. 85
    debbie says:


    I did not know that. Was this to raise additional funds for the Contras?

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