Lazy Saturday

Not much going on here- temperatures plummeted and it’s cold as heck. Gerald came over and assisted hanging some pictures- I put the Warholesque one that I framed with blue wood in my bedroom because I like vibrant things in my bedroom (to make up for the lack of excitement in the bed, I guess):

The downstairs I put the Live Oak on the wall going up the steps:

It’s surrounded by pictures of the Appalachian Trail (sans Mark Sanford), my uncle’s property in Montana, and some other stuff.

Sam and Lily have spent the day doing what they love most:

Here’s an aerial view of Steve, whose dander is out of control and will be getting a bath:

And finally, this is going to be one fucking amazing album when it drops:

As for the humans, we’re going to make dinner and watch whatever comes on the tv. Not sure what.






98 replies
  1. 1

    I particularly like the arrangement on the stairs. The pictures there are nice too.

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  2. 2
    moonbat says:

    Sam looks like an Ewok. Just sayin’…

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  3. 3
    satby says:

    Nice pictures of the furry tribe and house. I’m loving that stained glass piece hanging in the stairway window! Are those depression glass saucers (the round shapes) incorporated in it?

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  4. 4
    trollhattan says:

    Little dogs and ginormous cat. Such an odd tableau, but why not on a cold crappy day. Which is just what we have today in NorCal and the dog is literally leaning on me for all he’s worth, drawing away as much heat as he possibly can.

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  5. 5
    donnah says:

    Sweet and charming. What a fun collection of weekend pics!

    I’ve been back at the frame, hooking away.

    https://i.imgur.com/Jo0VG1g.jpg

    It’s going to be a while before the background is all filled in. Sigh.

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  6. 6
    NotMax says:

    Ooh, scary Mooslim crescent moons.

    :)

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  7. 7

    @donnah: Do you watch TV or listen to podcast or something while you hook?

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  8. 8
    Mathguy says:

    @moonbat: That was my first thought. “It’s an Ewok!”

    ReplyReply
  9. 9
    trollhattan says:

    @NotMax:
    They’d be nice to set off with discarded border prayer rugs.

    ReplyReply
  10. 10
    jl says:

    Thanks for petpix and colehousepix.

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  11. 11
    Yarrow says:

    to make up for the lack of excitement in the bed

    Didn’t Steve vomit in your bed? That’s more excitement than I’d want.

    I spent most of the day outside at a volunteer event. It was fucking freezing with a determined wind and occasional strong gusts. I had four layers on plus a scarf, hat, warm socks and boots and I was still freezing. I’ve had spicy soup and hot tea and I’m still cold. It was a fun event with people I enjoy and don’t see often enough and we made money for the organization so it was a good day.

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  12. 12
    Brickley Paiste says:

    Is that live oak in a park in Beaufort?

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  13. 13
    donnah says:

    @Dorothy A. Winsor:

    I usually half-watch TV, some old Westerns on MeTV or Chopped, where I can listen and glance up from my work from time to time. I also will put music on sometimes. Music is more helpful because it helps the rhythm of pulling the loops. I do have to remind myself to take breaks to keep from getting stiff shoulders.

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  14. 14
    Kraux Pas says:

    I was hoping if anyone could give me some advice with a situation I’ve been dealing with.

    I’m in the process of moving out of my parents’ home in MA. I have not been evicted or otherwise forced to move, but I have had a serious disagreement with my parents. Even though I wasn’t forced to move, I am under duress in this situation (I’m not sure how much more detail I’d be comfortable getting into). This has been going on since Christmas.

    Before I finished moving out, a lot of my belongings were packed and moved to the garage against my wishes. Also, the locks have been changed and I no longer have access to the house.

    I’m trying to determine whether it is legal for them to do this to me and, if not, what recourse I have.

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  15. 15
    Brickley Paiste says:

    @trollhattan:

    Discarded prayer rugs really tie the room together.

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  16. 16
    Another Scott says:

    @Kraux Pas: IANAL.

    I wouldn’t be surprised if the law varies by state and by the details of the situation. I don’t think you should post more details here (the Internet is forever).

    You need to find out what your rights are. Legal aid? A local assistance group run by a local law school student group?

    Can a friend or relative talk with them and help you get your stuff without going the legal route?

    I hope this helps a bit. Good luck, and hang in there.

    Cheers,
    Scott.

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  17. 17
    NotMax says:

    @Kraux Pas

    IANAL but would posit that absent a signed contract or rental agreement (even if the rent is zero) that you’re up the proverbial creek. Also too, your comment leaves the impression you do have access to the garage, thus to your stuff.

    Repeating, <bIANAL.

    ReplyReply
  18. 18
    Lapassionara says:

    @NotMax: These are South Carolina Palmetto trees and the crescent moon, which are on the state flag. So, no Mark Sanford, but some SC imagery. Colorful and cheerful.

    ReplyReply
  19. 19
    Steeplejack says:

    It has been a slightly rocky week—both personal and national—so I thought I would write about a bland, mildly interesting thing that happened.

    On Thursday I had occasion to give a friend a ride to an appointment in Alexandria, VA. Per the usual routine, I dropped her off and then went to do something nearby until I got a text that she was done. It was a new appointment location, and when I looked it up on Google Maps I saw that Trader Joe’s and Whole Foods were both nearby, in/​around the Old Town area. I went to Trader Joe’s to get the things I usually get there (about once a month) and a few goodies. I had just started looking around at Whole Foods when I got the text, so I didn’t get to shop there.

    Here’s the thing: I had never been to either of these locations before. I was surprised to see that the Trader Joe’s was way better than my usual T.J.’s. I don’t shop at any Whole Foods store often enough to judge accurately, but it also looked better than the one I usually go to. And both places have free off-street parking! That is a rarity in Old Town. In fact, I tend to avoid it because parking is usually a hassle.

    In both stores the aisles were wider than usual and there weren’t very many people shopping (around 10:00 a.m.). My made-up story is that the demographic is probably upscale/​gentrified office workers who swamp the stores after work and on the weekend. Also, both stores are relatively new, I think.

    So, based on all this, I could actually see myself making a pilgrimage to Old Town once a month or so to hit both places and have it be a relatively enjoyable experience. Not the usual ordeal of contending with strip-mall parking and narrow, crowded aisles to get the bare minimum of what I need. Go figure. End of story.

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  20. 20
    Sebastian says:

    @Kraux Pas:

    Changing locks is a pretty drastic move. Break the door open and get your stuff. Don’t return for a while.

    Your ID still shows the house’s address as yours? Wait until they are not home, call a locksmith (yelp for a local biz. Unlock services are all scammers) and have it unlocked. Move your stuff to storage.

    Learn how to pick a lock, it’s quite simple actually.

    Go to small claims court.

    Edit: Not endorsing any of the actions above but laying out the options. I am sure you have considered some of them already. Family sucks but then again, it’s the only one you have.

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  21. 21
    mrmoshpotato says:

    @Brickley Paiste:

    Discarded prayer rugs really tie the room together.

    Yeah, well, you know, that’s just like, uh, your opinion, man.

    ReplyReply
  22. 22
    West of the Rockies says:

    Lovely ( and clean!) house, John.

    I wish I had in my hand the 1,000-page, brilliantly-written book detailing the humiliations and downfalls about to beset the entire Trump operation, including SSB, Bannon, Miller, Jarvanka, Hannity, et al.

    Please, FSM, make it come to pass.

    ReplyReply
  23. 23
    Steeplejack says:

    @donnah:

    it’s looking good!

    ReplyReply
  24. 24
    Brickley Paiste says:

    @Kraux Pas:

    It’s not the advice you’re looking for but let me suggest that you’re asking the wrong question: the legality of what’s happening really isn’t that important because it will most likely be a civil matter.

    Are you somewhere safe? Do you have resources/friends to get you on your feet? Your stuff is just stuff.

    Intra-family disputes often have the same dynamic as domestic abuse and are most fraught when the child is leaving. Do everything you can to de-escalate the situation. No matter how shitty they are, try not to engage. See if you can retrieve your belongings in a polite, non-confrontational way. When you do it, take a friend. Don’t go there alone.

    The fact that they moved things to the garage and didn’t just throw everything onto the street tells me that there is still at least some parental concern and affection for you. Will you stuff be safe there or are you concerned that it goes onto the curb tomorrow? See if they will just keep it there for you until you find someplace to move it.

    Now to the legal: Are you a minor still? There are certain parental obligations that vary by state until you reach majority. If you’re 16 it’s one thing. If you’re 18 its something else. Either way, you need to get someone on your side who works within the system, you need an ally. Check and see if your state has “Children’s Advocates” or a “Children and Family Services” department. It may be easier to get a directory for you State/County/City and and just start calling people – the bureaucracy probably won’t be there until Monday.

    If nothing else, contact a local fire department/police department – they are not who you’re looking for but they are trained to get you to the right services. If you don’t feel comfortable with them, contact a librarian- Yes I know this sounds strange but librarians, particularly those in cities, deal with social work issues every day. I don’t know how comfortable you are with religions, but a pastor or priest can probably help you get pointed in the right direction. As corny as it sounds – look for the helpers, they are all around you.

    Good luck

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  25. 25
    West of the Rockies says:

    @trollhattan:

    Not sure where you are in NorCal, but it is windy with a flat, gray snow sky here. Not good walking-in-the-park weather. Boo.

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  26. 26
    Kraux Pas says:

    @Another Scott: I’m trying to figure out my rights, but most everything I see pertains to renters. I only recently started paying my parents rent.

    I can get access to the house, but I’m entirely dependent on the people there to provide me with it. This creates scheduling problems and difficult interactions. Never mind the fact that it’s bringing me all sorts of expenses, delaying my ability to get mail, and I didn’t give them permission to handle my belongings to begin with.

    I know a few lawyers hang out on here, so that’s why I thought I may be able to find help. Also, if anyone knows how I could go about finding an affordable defense attorney, aside from getting a public defender. This is for someone else involved in the situation. We haven’t found anyone in our price range or been able to come to any sort of arrangement to pay in installments. I’ve never had to seek out a lawyer before and this is all very confusing and I feel like I’m in over my head.

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  27. 27
    trollhattan says:

    @Steeplejack:
    Fake Trader Joes–it’s a trap!

    If there’s ample parking and aisles wide enough for two carts to pass it does not fit their bidnez plan.

    ReplyReply
  28. 28
    West of the Rockies says:

    @Brickley Paiste:

    Not bad advice.

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  29. 29

    I’m on my way to buy dewormer. Because that’s how we roll here on a random Saturday.

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  30. 30
    Alternative Fax, a hip hop artist from Idaho says:

    The animals look happy and healthy. The art is beautiful. Thanks for showing us!

    Enjoy your evening.

    The live oak is (very slightly) crooked, though.

    ReplyReply
  31. 31
    West of the Rockies says:

    @Kraux Pas:

    May I ask, do you work or have some financial footing? If so, perhaps rent a room, save some cash, upgrade to a one-room apartment or studio, and keep grinding ahead.

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  32. 32
    trollhattan says:

    @West of the Rockies:
    Sac Valley and snow sky is a good description. Guess we’re getting the southern edge of whatever is nailing the PNW. Watch for 80 degrees in a week.

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  33. 33
    West of the Rockies says:

    @West of the Rockies:

    Was some genuine crime or dishonorable thing done to your parents? If so, acknowledge their pain, too. If they did you wrong, I hope you’ve got emotional support in your corner.

    ReplyReply
  34. 34
    Kraux Pas says:

    @West of the Rockies: Yeah, I managed to find a place together with the other person I mentioned in the post you responded to. The other party is in trouble, though, and this is why my family is behaving retributively towards us and other family members who helped for a couple weeks. We’re both working and actually pretty happy at our new place.

    My biggest concerns with getting my stuff back is mail that got sent before I was able to have anything forwarded (especially where it’s tax season) and that things will be damaged sitting in a cold wet garage while they’re waiting for me to pick them up in my tiny little car. I rented a truck one day but I’d have a hard time affording it again.

    Was some genuine crime or dishonorable thing done to your parents?

    Not to my parents. And who the actual wronged party was is, at a minimum, debatable. This is running into details I don’t feel comfortable talking about, though.

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  35. 35
    West of the Rockies says:

    @trollhattan:

    That would be nice. I think the precipitation and snowpack levels are pretty fair this year.

    ReplyReply
  36. 36
    Another Scott says:

    @Steeplejack: I think I shop in the same TJ’s. It’s a good store. When it first opened a few years ago, it was about half the size and packed to the gills. They blew out a wall (where the veggies, etc., are now) and gave the place a lot more elbow room, but it’s still very busy at times (lines to get inside the garage).

    I’ve only been in the Whole Paycheck a couple of times, and that was years ago. I haven’t been tempted to go back.

    The Balducci’s on the south side of Old Town is great, but spendy for staples. They have wonderful pre-made salads.

    Enjoy!

    Cheers,
    Scott.

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  37. 37
    NotMax says:

    @trollhattan

    One of the things I appreciate about the relatively new Target store here is the extra-wide aisles. It’s also become my go-to for non-perishable groceries I don’t get at Costco; selection well above and prices well below the supermarkets. Other side of the coin is that the place is humongous, like almost needing two ZIP codes big, so those of us with older legs and feet feel it after shopping there. Offhand I’d estimate one could fit two Costcos inside and still have ample room to spare.

    In so many ways it is the polar opposite of the messy, crowded, poorly stocked Target I stopped in at when in NY, Night and day comparison.

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  38. 38
    ljt says:

    @Brickley Paiste: No, its Angel Oak, estimated to be 400-500 years old. It’s on Johns Island, South Carolina, between Charleston and Kiawah. (Not far from Edisto Island, where I live.)

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  39. 39
    jeffreyw says:

    Pfft.. Ms Bea roused herself to see what the commotion was, saw it was Gabe getting a scritch, and nodded back off a second later.
    ETA the linky: https://i.imgur.com/VgpR14c.jpg

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  40. 40
    Kraux Pas says:

    @Brickley Paiste:

    If nothing else, contact a local fire department/police department – they are not who you’re looking for but they are trained to get you to the right services.

    I had actually considered doing this. I wasn’t sure how to approach it but I think you helped. Thank you.

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  41. 41
    Steeplejack says:

    @trollhattan:

    You get it! It was so far out of my usual Trader Joe’s experience that for a moment I wondered if I had stumbled through some dimensional portal. I should have asked at the register who the president was.

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  42. 42
    NotMax says:

    @ljt

    Hm, a lot of South Carolina imagery. Is there perhaps a portrait of Graham stashed in the attic closet?

    ;)

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  43. 43
    laura says:

    !!11 TV ALERT 11!!
    Check your local PBS listing. The lovely documentary Won’t You Be My Neighbor is on tonight.
    You’ll not regret it. Be tissue adjacent though.
    It’s a soft day here in Sac, spouse is off on a man date doing Beer Week program related activities, Chet is supervising while I make gingerbread, prep sweet & sour pork and soon, a fire and time book on the couch.
    Housekeeping has been postponed for the time being.

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  44. 44
    Brickley Paiste says:

    @ljt:
    I was on Edisto in October. Lovely little corner of the world.

    ReplyReply
  45. 45
    laura says:

    @Kraux Pas: check with some local law schools. They may have a legal clinic for renters or other civil action stuff.
    Good luck!

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  46. 46
    jacy says:

    @Kraux Pas:

    You can contact your state bar association and they can point you to pro-bono or low-cost attorneys. If you have a local state university or law school, you can contact them. They often have resources that they put you in touch with for legal advice. You can look online for your state for legal help — there should be some resource that had numbers you can call to find out what resources are available to you. It may take some following bread crumbs, because pro-bono and low-cost are always busy and it might take a while to find somebody who has the time or expertise in you area.

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  47. 47
    Litlebritdifrnt says:

    Last night Storm Eric came through, horrible winds, ended up ripping the roof off the historic Midland Hotel in Morecambe. Dh and I heard the wind roaring during the night, it was brutal. It woke us up several times. Saw various pictures on Twitter one with a large tree smashed through the roof of a double decker bus. Nasty stuff. Glad I didn’t go out yesterday.

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  48. 48
    Kraux Pas says:

    @jacy:

    You can contact your state bar association and they can point you to pro-bono or low-cost attorneys. If you have a local state university or law school, you can contact them. They often have resources that they put you in touch with for legal advice.

    OMG, this is genius. I know how I’m spending my Monday. Thank you so much.

    ReplyReply
  49. 49
    trollhattan says:

    @West of the Rockies:
    For now we’re looking really good–123% of average snowpack for the date, Thursday. It could turn out to be the second above average year of the last…what, eight?

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  50. 50
    oatler. says:

    @laura: Looking forward to the doc. Reminds me of those sweet old days before PBS showed car commercials and got “underwritten” by Exxon.

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  51. 51
    jacy says:

    @Kraux Pas:

    You are very welcome. I have been there more than once. The Bar Association can be very helpful, it just might take several calls and being bounced around a bit. Stay at it. The one thing I have learned is to to not get discouraged, and to just keep trying until you find the help you need. Stay as positive as possible!

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  52. 52
    Steeplejack says:

    @Another Scott:

    Yeah, it’s the same store. The produce section did look like an added-on space.

    Thanks for the tip on Balducci’s! I really like some of their stuff, and I completely missed it on Google Maps. Could add that to the expedition.

    I hardly ever shop at Whole Foods, but the prospect of doing so with wide aisles and no crowds is tempting.

    I don’t get staples at any of those places, but T.J.’s does have a couple of things that I buy there regularly. Mainly instant coffee. I drink only about four or five cups a week, and their instant (in the jar) is good enough. Also good for traveling. Okay, I guess coffee is a staple.

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  53. 53
    dmsilev says:

    @Kraux Pas: I guess I would start by asking yourself what is it you want out of the situation. Do you just want to retrieve your stuff and your mail, or is there something more? If it’s the former, I’d really suggest trying to talk with your parents first and see if even the bare minimum of agreeing on a time when you’ll stop by to pick the stuff up is feasible. Once you ring that bell of legal action, it’s hard to unring.

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  54. 54
    FlyingToaster (Tablet) says:

    @Kraux Pas: I am in MA, but not a lawyer.

    If you’re in a small enough community (not Boston), the police can be a resource. They’ve seen enough similar situations to be able to point you at the correct office/people, and can explain the illegality of diverting your mail, if that needs to happen.

    Unfortunately, your parents do have the right to dumpster your stuff, once you’ve reached majority and specifically if you’re no longer a tenant and they’re not claiming you as a tax deduction. In exchange, they have no “grandparental” rights whatsoever. [Had to have that discussion, ugh.]

    If you or your partner have a colleague with a minivan, ask them for help retrieving your belongings from the garage; if things are particularly fraught, let the cops know what time you’ve arranged for retrieval. The combination of a third party witness and a police drive-by can deescalate things.

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  55. 55
    Brickley Paiste says:

    @Kraux Pas:

    And let me be explicit about something that I only implied above – see if you can work this out in a non-confrontational way without worrying about “legal” aspects.

    Once you get lawyers/government involved, you parents positions are going to harden and they will get more angry and bitter. Might even just toss your stuff because they might not be thinking rationally.

    Of course if you relationship is over/your possessions are irreplaceable or valuable and you think your parent are on the verge of tossing things, then you have to do what you have to do to protect yourself legally.

    I say this as a lawyer who volunteered at a domestic violence center. Our standard procedure when the relationship was beyond repair was to try to mediate first, just call the other party and work things out being careful to identify ourselves someone who “works at XYZ center” and not as lawyers.

    Take all of this with a grain of salt since I don’t know the specifics of your situation.

    Oh, lastly, it sounds like you have a place to stay and aren’t homeless, but consider also contacting a homeless outreach/shelter – they can get you to help and are probably staffed with people good at doing triage in situations like this. Some shelters also have secure storage so you might be able to store your things there until you get enough space.

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  56. 56
    Kraux Pas says:

    @dmsilev: I initially just wanted all my stuff, but people on the other side of this fight are being increasingly retributive. Also, they’re the ones who rang the legal bell. Now I’ve banded together with the other involved person because I thought it was the right thing to do, even though it cost me my home, lots of money, and significant peace of mind.

    I don’t want to exacerbate problems any more than they have been but, in a lot of ways, this has consistently been about standing up to bullying. This is just the latest way they’ve bullied us and I need to figure out how we can protect ourselves.

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  57. 57
    Steeplejack says:

    @laura:

    Won’t You Be My Neighbor? is also going into rotation on HBO, premiering at 8:00 p.m. EST tonight.

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  58. 58
    Yarrow says:

    @dmsilev: I’d agree with this. Once you bring lawyers into a dispute with family it can go wrong quickly. Unless you are already at that place, it’s wise to be cautious about going that route.

    No one here knows the actual particulars of your situation, whether or not anyone involved is dealing with mental health issues or is otherwise unstable and if it is safe for you to interact with your parents. You will need to keep those issues in mind as you make your decisions about how to proceed.

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  59. 59
    WaterGirl says:

    @jeffreyw: Thank you for posting that wonderful photo! I could feel my breathing slow, just form looking at the (almost) three sleeping kitties.

    ReplyReply
  60. 60
    NotMax says:

    @Litlebritdifrnt

    Okay, a sign of too much news ingestion over too short a period of time that at first misread that as a double pecker bus.

    ReplyReply
  61. 61
    Kraux Pas says:

    Well, I think I have what I need for a plan of action. Thanks again, everyone who offered an opinion.

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  62. 62
    trollhattan says:

    @NotMax:
    Somebody left two Enquirers on the seat?

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  63. 63
    WaterGirl says:

    @laura: Thank you for that! Several weeks ago I checked to see if it was available. In my area, it’s on HBO and the PBS channel. I set Tivo to record on both, in case one of them is messed up or not available.

    I could really use Mr. Rogers right now.

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  64. 64
    eemom says:

    @Kraux Pas:

    Per Jacy, here’s a link to the Mass Bar referral service, which looks like a good resource:

    https://www.masslawhelp.com

    If that doesn’t work, I have another way of at least trying to help you find someone. E-mail Cole if you’d like to get in touch.

    ReplyReply
  65. 65
    Jay says:

    “A research team in the UK has found a connection between climate change in the 1500s and 1600s and the massive depopulation of the Americas after European contact.

    They estimate that a century of warfare, slavery, disease and social collapse led to the death of as many as 55 million people — about 90 per cent of the population of the Americas at the time.

    As the population collapsed, vast swathes of forest grew on abandoned agricultural land and sucked carbon dioxide out of the atmosphere. This contributed to the “Little Ice Age” that was cooling the planet at the time.“

    https://www.cbc.ca/radio/quirks/feb-9-2019-psychology-of-solitary-confinement-mind-over-genes-genocide-and-climate-change-and-more-1.5008739/50-million-deaths-in-the-new-world-drove-cooling-in-the-the-little-ice-age-1.5008748

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  66. 66
    jacy says:

    @Kraux Pas:

    Not knowing (or asking about) your situation, I will give you a piece of advice from experience dealing with someone who maybe irrational/abusive. Sometimes you don’t get anywhere by being nice or accommodating. I’m not encouraging you to be an asshole. But sometimes the best thing to do is to remove yourself from the equation, and by that I mean finding a laywer or other intermediary who can step in for you. My first impulse was always understanding and reason, and I got burned badly because I wanted to be nice or take the high road or deescalate. It was never met in like response. You are the only person who can judge when it is beyond your ability to negotiate. But when you feel you have hit that point, do not feel guilty. It’s their shortcoming, not yours. Look at yourself and judge where you think you might be unreasonable, try to examine your attitudes that might be causing trouble. Once you have done that and remedied anything you find, don’t feel guilty. Take care of yourself.

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  67. 67
    Kraux Pas says:

    @eemom: Thank you, I saved the link and I’ll likely also reach out to Cole first opportunity I get.

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  68. 68
    WaterGirl says:

    @dmsilev: @Kraux Pas: I am with dmsilev on this. If there’s any way to get what you need — not retribution for wrongs or perceived wrongs — without involving the legal profession, that is definitely the way to go. Interaction with the legal profession is not the way to peace and happiness.

    My sincere recommendation is that, no matter how wronged you have been, you arrange to get your stuff (with another person there as a witness) and let it go for now. As dmsilev says, some bells cannot be un-rung.

    ReplyReply
  69. 69
    eemom says:

    @jacy:

    I have a neighbor who is a very successful divorce attorney, to whom I’ve referred many people over the years. He says “We extend the olive branch until they knock it out of our hands.”

    The best attorneys for anything are always the ones who combine super sweet demeanors with balls of steel.

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  70. 70
    MoxieM says:

    @TaMara (HFG): They sell Panacur at Chewy.com, but you may need/want it faster than a couple of days. The Newf Rescue swears by that specific (de)wormer.

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  71. 71
    eemom says:

    @WaterGirl:

    Interaction with the legal profession is not the way to peace and happiness.

    😢😢😢

    ReplyReply
  72. 72
    NotMax says:

    @eemom

    who combine super sweet demeanors with balls of steel.

    Rumpole, is that you?

    :)

    ReplyReply
  73. 73
    jacy says:

    @eemom:

    That’s very true. Especially if you are someone who normally negotiates themselves away — it’s good to have somebody who will do that brutal stuff if necessary. The lawyer I have for custody right now sent me a note with the draft of the paperwork that said (paraphrased) “I have not included any personal attacks. We will hold them in reserve should they be necessary.”

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  74. 74
    Kraux Pas says:

    @WaterGirl:

    I am with dmsilev on this. If there’s any way to get what you need — not retribution for wrongs or perceived wrongs — without involving the legal profession, that is definitely the way to go.

    I agree with this. Although I kind of wish I felt like I could share more of what’s going on. Maybe after everything is resolved.

    But looking at the situation, I feel like the most important thing right now is getting viable legal help for the other involved person and I think I’ll be better able to do that now.

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  75. 75
    Mayim says:

    @Brickley Paiste:

    I’ll second the librarian suggestion. We’ve seen and dealt with just about everything.

    If your local library can’t get you an answer, check with the state library, which will have excellent research librarians who can find you the best available resources.

    Professional ethics include a very strong patron privacy component, if that’s an issue.

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  76. 76
    WaterGirl says:

    @eemom: Sorry to make you cry! But do you disagree?

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  77. 77
    WaterGirl says:

    @Kraux Pas: Just think it through, so it’s your brain making the decisions, not your emotions. I understand how how difficult that is, but I think that if you have the strength to follow that path, it’s very unlikely that you will regret it.

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  78. 78
    sukabi says:

    @donnah: very nice, awesome tapestry.

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    Another Scott says:

    @Jay: I heard that when it was on the radio (the local NPR station plays “As It Happens” in the evenings).

    Fascinating stuff. And it makes sense. When land use changes rapidly, the atmosphere will respond rapidly. Similarly with humans burning billions of tons of stuff in just ~ 200 years…

    :-(

    Cheers,
    Scott.

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  80. 80
    emjayay says:

    @Dorothy A. Winsor: Looks like a nice place with nice art and nice dogs. But the arrangement of the pictures on the wall above the stairs really bothers me.

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  81. 81
    emjayay says:

    @trollhattan: Your dog is hotter than you are.

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    eemom says:

    @WaterGirl:

    weeeeellll….as the kids say, it’s complicated.

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  83. 83
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @eemom: @Kraux Pas: Provided the emails you both use to comment here are legit, I’ve just done digital introductions. So you may want to check your inboxes.

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  84. 84
    eemom says:

    @Adam L Silverman:

    Mine isn’t. Cole has the right one.

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    oldster says:

    Is that the first time that we have seen Thurston look straight into the camera?

    I feel like I have never seen his face from that angle.

    I’m pretty sure he’s the drummer.

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  86. 86
    poleaxedbyboatwork says:

    @Mayim:

    Another lifetime ago, I usedta be the editor of a magazine (yeah, I know, me! the guy who can’t write proper! well, it *was* justa fishing magazine, so you may adjust expectations accordingly).

    Point being: In the days before one could consult Lord Google to receive the blessings of its unerring bounty (as if!), usedta lean on the research librarians alla time. Ever helpful, cheerfully pursued the many arcane threads on topics varied and obscure. Usually for some ridiculous pun I wanted to make or some such tomfoolery, but they didn’t judge.

    Met my wife in a rather peculiar way as the result of a story I did about tarpon fishing in Belize, and one a the sidebars leant heavily on research gleaned from research librarians. (E.g. tarpon can breathe atmospheric oxygen — it’s why they “roll’ on the surface — and that quality allows them to survive as juveniles in low-oxygenated backwater sloughs where they are better able to avoid piscine — tho not wading aviary — predators.)

    And most every librarian I’ve ever met in real life is a solid, caring human being. The profession seems to attract good peeps on balance.

    Loves me some librarians.

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  87. 87
    trollhattan says:

    @emjayay:
    He is a chick magnet, truth be told.

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  88. 88
    daize says:

    @poleaxedbyboatwork: Love your comments. How are you doing?

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  89. 89
    poleaxedbyboatwork says:

    @daize:

    Very kind of you to say. Am well “in my own particular (sigh).”

    “Idiom, sir?”

    “Idiom!”

    Don’t believe I’ve seen you round these parts before (tho I miss a lot). You new or recently delurked or have I just misst your posts?

    In any event, thank you and hello.

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  90. 90
    raven says:

    @poleaxedbyboatwork: Headed to Melbourne Beach with a buddy’s whose brother has a boat and is a serious fisherdude. Snook season is open on the east coast so we’re making a long weekend run.

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  91. 91
    poleaxedbyboatwork says:

    @raven:

    Woo-hoooo! Oh, that sounds so unbelievably choice, raven. Big reds and trout, too! You must be jazzed. Post pics if so inclined, loveta see s’more a your exploits.

    Was sposed to be outta here in Dec., spend part of my time away in Fla., but been living down to my nym (had the misapprehension that if a coupla guys agreed to do some work on the boat that they’d actually, you know, do the work and not abscond to Utah for a month-n-a-half, but I’m apparently naive like that). Was actually thinking about changing my nym cuz am kinda disgusted with the whole affair, and it’sa constant reminder, but hadn’t thought of anything yet.

    Gotta buddy, one a the best fishermen I know, who usedta bicycle from Orlando to Mosquito Lagoon n back. Was a real fitness nut till someone plowed into him w/three-thousand-pounds-plus of malignant vehicular negligence and drove off, then got caught and wasn’t nothing done. Last I was in Fla., we went to the St. John’s River, and I hadda support him to wade across the muddy bottom to a spot a ways upstream from a bridge where we get black bass (as some likes to call bucketmouths down South) and crappies and catfish and bream.

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  92. 92
    phein60 says:

    @laura: Saw the movie in a local Art Theater, what a great experience, the movie cannot be recommended highly enough. Fred Rogers show was after my time, but my children all watched him. Two were lucky enough to meet him when we lived in Pittsburgh.

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  93. 93
    rikyrah says:

    All the animal pictures, Cole🤗🤗😍😍
    They are a joy😎

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  94. 94
    rikyrah says:

    @laura:
    Just dust 😪 😪

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    tybee says:

    @Brickley Paiste: that post changed my opinion of you.

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    columbusqueen says:

    I don’t care that Thurston is a PITA, that face is adorable!

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  97. 97
    cain says:

    Well you could watch “Won’t you be my neighbor” on HBO and cry your eyes out.

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  98. 98
    Mary Ellen Sandahl says:

    @trollhattan: Not so! OUr local TJ has both. Sure you gotta squeeze a bit in the pasta and sauces aisle, but only when they’re enjoying apres-work rush hour. Or Saturday.

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