I started watching this promptly at 10:05pm and the Bloviator-in-Chief didn’t seem to be anywhere near shutting up already. The sacrifices I make for you people…
He’s trying to outwait Stacey Abrams.
— Charles P. Pierce (@CharlesPPierce) February 6, 2019
Ten-thirty, and he’s finally wrapped with a last round of self-applause. Here goes…
geg6
Oh come on! Get him off the goddamn screen already!
Elizabelle
Was Melania there tonight? Barron?
WaterGirl
@geg6: I used to love watching Barack Obama after his speeches or rallies, just being Barack as he shook hands with all the people who were thrilled to be meeting him.
Disgusted to see Trump on screen when I turned the TV on after I heard it was over.
Elizabelle
While we waiting on Stacey, and some fresh air:
WaPost:
Money money money money … money!
Mike in NC
Didn’t watch any of that shit. Fat Bastard is even quicker than Chuck Schumer to hop in front of a camera and microphone.
HumboldtBlue
Umm …when you see it you can’t unsee it.
Mary G
@Elizabelle: Melania, with more spray tan on her face than I’ve ever seen; almost up to her husband’s levels of orange, but much more professionally applied.
Elizabelle
O’Jays: For the Love of Money. Youtube.
HinTN
@HumboldtBlue:
Apalling… Who is that in the back?
Elizabelle
Stacey’s talking! Bye O’Jays.
different-church-lady
@HumboldtBlue: I’m not seeing it.
Elizabelle
I love her.
Jackie
Just got “The Text” Stacey coming next! It’s safe to watch your preferred channel now????
debit
I love this woman.
chris
@HumboldtBlue: Holy crap! Is that the upholstery?
trollhattan
Trump treated unfairly–Stacey’s not sniffing.
Excellent speaker, great choice Dems.
Mary G
She is so good. “We are coming for America; a better America.”
Shutdown was a stunt by the president of the United States for political gain.
debit
I think she’s broken the curse. This is pitch perfect.
BretH
She is GOOD!
HumboldtBlue
@chris: Sure appears so.
@different-church-lady: Check the pattern on the seat over the shoulder.
Kay
This is quite good.
Mary G
Oooh: Real people crushed by Republican administration that doesn’t understand, or care, about real Americans.
Elizabelle
Compassionate treatment at the border is not the same as open borders.
Reagan, Obama, Bush (?) understood this ….
different-church-lady
@HumboldtBlue: Ah, yes.
Now I will look at what an actress from the 80s looks like today and try not to smile.
Elizabelle
WaPost said they would factcheck Stacey too, but nothing up there yet, and no lies told.
Right to vote.
5x5
@different-church-lady: Look behind him at collar level. There is a swastika-like pattern in the upholstery.
debit
She’s hitting all the right notes and bringing up voter suppression. I keep saying this, but she’s so good.
eemom
WHAT? Nobody live blogging Bernie’s response?? Establishmenters! Corporate sellouts!
dmsilev
@Kay: Giving a good SotU response is really really hard, but she’s clearing that high bar.
trollhattan
@Elizabelle:
“She didn’t really have a father!”
–Fox fact-checker.
lamh36
Stacy Abrams!!!
One of the reasons why I changed my twitter tag to “Listen to Black Women”
YASS! Stacy!!
trollhattan
Hey now, let’s remember Li’l Marco “gulp!” and the Jindal staircase. Gold, Jerry, gold!
Cheryl Rofer
That was good. Nice way to get past Trump.
trollhattan
Dear lord, I do love short speeches.
See you at the convention, Stacey!
lamh36
Now here comes the media trying to make it seem like Stacy Abrams resonse wasn’t PERFECT!!!!
Elizabelle
Sound is off again. News Hour crew. No thank you.
Someone on Facebook says Stacey Abrams should have started her response with “Good morning.”
Kay
@dmsilev:
She sounds like a governor, which is like a soothing balm after nut job’s meaningless, incoherent ..talking :)
Elizabelle
I think there’s a good chance Trump will not give another SOTU. It could happen.
Mary G
That’s really knocking it out of the park. Short and strong. Now I want her to run for president.
Tazj
Loved the story about her father giving his coat to a homeless man and tying it to working together to make America better.
SiubhanDuinne
It is just so wrong that this woman is not my governor.
Steve in the ATL
AOC on NBC
Jay Noble
@HumboldtBlue: Ummm . . . Look again. That’s a NATIVE AMERICAN design not NAZI. We happen to have 2 NATIVE AMERICAN women Representatives. LOOK AGAIN!
?BillinGlendaleCA
@eemom: You left out Neoliberals.
Steve in the ATL
@SiubhanDuinne: Steve in the ATL concurs. It’s criminal.
zhena gogolia
@SiubhanDuinne:
She’s very smart and a good speaker. I didn’t watch any of Cheeto Benito but I’m sure the contrast is striking.
different-church-lady
“Every word you just heard out of the fat man’s mouth was a lie.” [Drops mic]
Kay
@Elizabelle:
Trump’s speech was way too long. They know he’s a poor speaker. Why write such a long speech?
A normal President would get dinged for it, but he’s measured using a lower standard.
catclub
@Jay Noble:
can we compromise with ANASAZI?
O. Felix Culpa
@Steve in the ATL: O. Felix in, well, not too far from the ABQ concurs too. At least we got us a kick-ass Democratic Hispanic woman governor in NM this time around.
Kay
@SiubhanDuinne:
She was robbed. She’ll be quite the turn out engine if she runs again though. Her voters will want, and deserve, payback for that theft.
The Dangerman
Damn, I just missed his big finish; imagine my disappointment.
I assume it was the same toxic spew interspersed with lots and lots of sniffling; did he have to snort some Adderol to keep him going?
SiubhanDuinne
@Steve in the ATL:
This, probably literally.
Kay
She would know all about that.
??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ??
My dad said that she seemed to talk a lot about herself. ?
And of course the local news brought up how much Trump’s SOTU contained “unifying” themes. I didn’t watch, but this doesn’t surprise me. Both of the newscasters are white. It’s like fucking Groundhog Day.
Ceci n est pas mon nym
Watched Stacey’s speech, and not a nanosecond of what’s-his-name.
Now I’m looking for the Xavier Becerra spanish-language response (hoping optimistically I might get 50% of it). Has it not happened yet?
Steve in the ATL
@SiubhanDuinne: that’s how I meant it
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@Kay: Trump’s speech was way too long. They know he’s a poor speaker. Why write such a long speech?
trump doesn’t read, thinks he’s brilliant, and they don’t call Stephen Miller the B+ fascist from Santa Monica for nothing
Kay
@The Dangerman:
No, he just sort of trailed off into the second hour. He ran out of talking.
lamh36
how bout that Stacy Abrams response…one of if not THE best SOTU response I’ve ever seen. Optics good, she looked good, and she sounded strong, confident, and assured.
I think we may just be looking at the next junior Senator from Georgia!! Go Stacy Go
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@Kay: I gave her my email address, i.e. signed an online “petition” (she should have it already), and fifty bucks this afternoon. I took the solicitation as a hopeful sign she’s leaning toward a Senate run.
Those email lists are apparently currency and power for politicians, and she’s well worth a little campaign spam.
SiubhanDuinne
@Kay:
I’m pretty sure she’s going to run against the useless David Perdue for Senate in 2020. At this point I think she has better name recognition. Haven’t seen any polls, but I would wager more people would vote for SA than for DP. If she announces for that or for any other office, I’ll work my substantial white ass off for her.
Amir Khalid
@Mary G:
A professional makeup person wouldn’t put that much spray tan on a client’s face.
SiubhanDuinne
@Steve in the ATL:
I know :-)
Kay
@Jim, Foolish Literalist:
They’re all such horrible braggarts and show offs and they never shut up. Figures they took hostages once they had them in the room. The whole low quality crew probably each got a sentence. That’s certainly what it sounded like- like 31 people jostling for position wrote it. Cancer, caravans, I don’t know what-all, just a jumbled mess.
Amir Khalid
@Jim, Foolish Literalist:
That can happen when a speech has no actual point to get to.
Martin
@Ceci n est pas mon nym: Xavier was a good choice.
Kay
@SiubhanDuinne:
Oh, good. A statewide race is the thing. She can do this.
Omnes Omnibus
@Amir Khalid:
A passive aggressive one might.
SiubhanDuinne
@Elizabelle:
I believe, and devoutly hope, that you are right!
rikyrah
????
Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) Tweeted:
Congrats to @SpeakerPelosi for inventing the “fuck you” clap. #sotu
https://t.co/eueoUf9IBT https://twitter.com/pattonoswalt/status/1092984227623141377?s=17
Alternative Fax, a hip hop artist from Idaho
@SiubhanDuinne: You’re reading my mind again, aren’t you?
@Steve in the ATL: Assumed so.
Yarrow
Stacey Abrams is the best. Is she really thinking about running for Senator? That would be so great if she won.
She was such a great choice by the Dems for their response. Who chooses the person that does the response? So smart to pick her.
Jay
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=oIMiZA1PGKE
Puppies sleeping to lullaby music.
Bookmark it to spend your time better than watching any of the Needy Amin shitshows.
??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ??
@Kay:
Preach. I really wish you’d do frontpaging again. You have such an easy, down-to-earth, accessible style that really gets to heart of the matter. I think low-info voters would be able to easily understand your points. Basically, you cut through the bullshit.
I don’t mean to be overly praising, it’s just something I’ve thought for a while Kay and wanted to let you know : )
Kay
I feel like Pelosi invokes Article 1 just to needle Republicans :)
It’s working too- why just today they anonymously planted stories about how they are REALLY MAD about executive over-reach.
Aleta
@Jim, Foolish Literalist: They copied down a bunch of phrases from other places and changed two words here, another word here and a couple there, on through. Plagiarism 101. A computer could have done it; it sounded like that. The audience’s faces were paralyzed as one.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
also, for those not watching MSNBC, Amy Klobuchar pretty much just pre-announced her presidential bid
(Just saw the “no investigations” line replayed. He was slipping toward his rally voice. Was that the only time he sounded sincere all night? )
??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ??
@Yarrow:
Wasn’t it Chuck Schumer? That’s what I heard. Either him or Tom Perez at the DNC.
SiubhanDuinne
@Kay:
I think so too. As long as “Governor” Brian Kemp and his minions keep their filthy paws off voter registration, ballot access, and voting machines.
Hardheaded liberal
Veteran lurker here — Sorry to disagree with you jackals,whom I generally admire. But this was a standard weak Democratic politician speech — no narrative threads, just hitting one issue after another with no context to weave the points together for the average viewer who may not be a political junkie. Few human interest examples – eg no mention of two kids dying in CBP custody in the last few weeks; no reference to specific school shooting victims. Too much about Herself (like her Fair Vote group) — doing good things, but this is a time to honor everyone’s efforts, not toot her own horn.
Trump would eat her lunch. This speech proved to me Stacey is not in the same league as Kamala Harris or Warren. Not ready to lead the national ticket yet, tho i’d Like to see her take on Perdue for Senate.
lamh36
Wait…. there is a clip of Pelosi’s fuq you clap and she gave Chump that lil…good for you tink tink face…LOL
Best clip of the night!
https://twitter.com/BroderickGreer/status/1093000433721782272
trollhattan
@rikyrah:
Oh Lord–perfect!
Jim, Foolish Literalist
frosty
@??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ??: i agree. I look forward to Kay’s comments. I’m glad to see them, front paged or not.
Yarrow
Ohhh…love this Kamala Harris gif.
TriassicSands
@Amir Khalid:
Oh, the speech had a point. It was to let the world’s biggest narcissist hear himself “orate” for as long as possible.
Democratic president. Republican (Fascist) president. I don’t care — I vote to mandate that all future SOTU addresses be delivered on paper. The incessant competitive cheerleading is ridiculous. As good as Pelosi normally is, I thought she did poorly tonight. Of course, I wanted her to have her feet up on the table in front her while staring at her cell phone throughout the entire speech so I may not be a fair judge. It would have been even better if she’d made or taken a call while the ass was yammering away.
Kay
@??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ??:
Thanks. That’s nice of you to say. And you should be on a county central committee! You’re young. They’ll be absolutely thrilled. It’ll be fun going into a Prez year, too. You can run as a delegate to the convention. It’s a caucus so it’s more about planning than “popularity” :)
tobie
I skipped everything but Stacey Abrams tonight. It was a great response: forceful but positive, energetic but earnest. And I loved the theme from first to last that we are each our brother’s keeper. She used the story of her father giving up his coat because he knew his family would come looking for him as a spring board for discussing all the ways in which we as a country, with a government, give each other a helping hand from education policy to health care to compassionate immigration policy and voting and worker’s rights. Well done, Ms. Abrams!
Kay
@Jim, Foolish Literalist:
I like her a lot but the “tax advantaged savings plan” as a solution is just not sufficient to the problem or the times. They don’t have any savings to put in tax advantaged plans, which I’m sure she knows. It’s another subsidy for financially secure people.
I was disappointed in that. Come on Amy. Go a little bigger.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@Kay: I’m not familiar with that plan, but it reeks of the DLC. Like I said about Biden earlier, sounds like she’s preparing a juggernaut for a 1996 campaign.
ETA: and I say, to be perfectly honest, as a battle-scarred, battle-scared old fart who worries that some of our candidates may be going a little too big, and a moderate, pragmatic voice wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.
Yutsano
@SiubhanDuinne: You and I and the four winds know Kemp and the entire Republican apparatus in Georgia will fight tooth and nail against any elected seat Stacy Abrams tries to run for. We’re gonna have to root out every cheat, get around all the roadblocks, and fight for every vote to get counted. Having said that, I completely believe she could take out Perdue.
sdhays
@Kay: I am so freaking tired of “tax-advantaged this” and “tax advantaged that”. There are so many programs – I just found out about another one yesterday to save money for my unborn son to go to college. Why the hell are we subsidizing this shit by making taxes so damn complicated rather than just making college affordable?? It’s disgusting.
SiubhanDuinne
@Yutsano:
Every single word of this, Yuts.
??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ??
@Kay:
I might. I know the local Dem party has a history of corruption and being influenced by the local mafia. The GOP is an absolute shitshow. Their tent at the local fair is always a window into the fevered RWNJ mind. I remember the Obamaunism t-shirts.
And remember “Obamney”?
Sister Machine Gun of Quiet Harmony
Crap. Republican won the special election in Minnesota. Franken’s seat flipped.
??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ??
@Yutsano:
OT: what did you mean by the withholding curse? I couldn’t find anything about it using Google except the Mises Institute.
TS (the original)
@Elizabelle:
If he/she exists, I hope the good dog above is reading your post
Elizabelle
@Sister Machine Gun of Quiet Harmony: What??
But her emails!!!
@Sister Machine Gun of Quiet Harmony:
That’s a state Senate seat, not federal.
??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ??
@Sister Machine Gun of Quiet Harmony:
Oh fuck. We’re never going to hear the end of that.
ETA: @But her emails!!!:
That’s a relief, though any lost seat is a shame.
dww44
@lamh36: As much as I hate David Perdue, I’d much rather see her hold out and run for the Governor’s slot again. She can fix a lot of bad stuff, vis-a-vis voting and elections and make a real and permanent dent in the Republican control of the State. And, it would be sweet karma if she took out Kemp.
lamh36
I admit, I caught that line from Brian Williams as well…rolled my eyes so damned hard
Jim, Foolish Literalist
In the Minn state senate? you mean the district he lives in?
Omnes Omnibus
@Sister Machine Gun of Quiet Harmony: The special election was for state senate seat. Nothing to do with Franken.
Formerly disgruntled in Oregon
@Sister Machine Gun of Quiet Harmony: That was State Senate special election – Franken’s Senate seat is still held by Tina Smith (D).
jl
thanks for posting the SOTU material. i was off at previously scheduled sports, exercise and sociability fun time with friends.
So, forgot about this mess for a few blissful hours.
Hope Abrams did a good job.
I’ll look through the posts and decide if I want to dive in now or bliss out a little longer.
lamh36
@dww44: no I think she’s got a better chance at Senate since Purdue seat could be winnable, esp with the right Dem as the Prez nominee and big turnout from Presidential election year.
Senate is two years, Gov is another 4? Strike while the iron is hot
But her emails!!!
@??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ??:
Yeah. It’s not good by any stretch of the imagination, but it’s not set your hair on fire territory.
??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ??
@lamh36:
Oh christ. I see what they did there.
Lalophobia
Holy crap. That was magnificent. Especially compared to tonight’s SOTU and previous responses.
Elizabelle
Good night pals. No online news for me tonight; want to finish the day without hearing a syllable out of Trump’s cheating mouth. Time to turn in.
tobie
@lamh36: I’m so happy I tuned in to watch Abrams and then turned off the TV. Don’t think I could take either Matthews or Williams tonight.
The Midnight Lurker
Comparing Ms. Abrams’ speech to Trump’s? Seriously?
That’s like comparing apples and oranges. No, wait…
Peas and carrots. Wait. I’ll get it…
A smart lady speaking succinctly about the SOTU and a babbling, melted, orange softy.
Nailed it!
TriassicSands
@Kay:
I’m afraid Amy’s claim to fame is that she goes a little smaller. That’s supposed to be attractive but it’s mostly boring and uninspiring. Progressive Punch ranks senators on their progressivism. Klobuchar is number 33. Are all Democrats are ranked above all Republicans? Well, that used to be the case. Now, two Democratic women have moved in below Susan Collins and tied with two other Republicans for 47th place. The two Democratic senators are Kyrsten Sinema (AZ) and Jackie Rosen (NV). All four at 47 are newly elected so it’s likely that the Dems will move up, but for now, after only a few votes, they aren’t looking too good.
But Klobuchar is 33 out of 47 Democrats (including Sanders and King) — and she sounds like it. Her rationale is that she can attract all those moderates in the GOP. And those Democrats who hate AOC love Klobuchar.
lamh36
@lamh36:
They didn’t ask Beto to give the response though…did they Brian.
Lordt…if Beto or Biden, or Sherrod doesn’t declare for the nomination, then the Dem nom will likely be either a Black woman, or a Black male, or an Hispanic male, or a white woman, but no old white men.
Tweety will have a racist, sexist conniption fit!
?BillinGlendaleCA
@jl:
I find this hard to believe.
sdhays
@lamh36: Do they think they’re in a competition to demonstrate what they can do on national television and suffer no consequences?
Omnes Omnibus
@TriassicSands:
I like both of them.
Sister Machine Gun of Quiet Harmony
@Omnes Omnibus: I am so relieved.
tobie
@TriassicSands: I checked Harris’s, Klobuchar’s, and Warren’s voting records on ProPublica’s a few days ago and they were pretty consistent. Would love to know how Progressive Punch determines a politician’s progressivism.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
I just laughed at a Ralph Nader tweet. And he was trying to be funny. I would have thought Ralph disapproved of laughter and funny.
dww44
@lamh36: Admittedly, revenge, as they say, is a dish best served cold, but I so want her to actually govern this state. A senator, however powerful, is quite removed from actual governance of the state she represents. It would so blow so many GOP voters’ minds if she became the 1st African American Governor they’d likely never recover.
Of course, if her ultimate goal is the Presidency, then the Senate is a better platform. I still think her real talents are best deployed from the Governor’s office. Her entire political background makes her uniquely qualified to govern here. I also read somewhere today or yesterday that she has always wanted to be Governor.
Cacti
I’m afraid I missed out on tonight’s speechifying.
I was busy not watching it. :-)
Sab
@??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ??: I am just guessing, but I think what he means is underwithholding.
For example, if you have two different partime jobs. One employer knows they are paying you, say, 15,000 per year. The other employer is also paying you 15,000 a year, and they each withhold at that tax bracket. But with two jobs, you are making a total of 30,000, and therefore will be taxed at a much higher rate. So your withholding should have been higher, but it wouldn’t have been unless you told them to. The tax tables for withholding only work well if you have one job with consistent pay. Multiple jobs, or fluctuating pay, and they tend towards underwithholding and a bad surprise when you file your return.
Omnes Omnibus
@dww44: Why do you see the Senate as a better stepping stone to the Presidency than a Governorship? Bush, Clinton, Reagan, Carter, etc., would disagree.
jl
@?BillinGlendaleCA:
Is there a way I can check whether you contributed five bucks to get your name chyroned across the screen during the SOTU address, without watching the damned thing?
?BillinGlendaleCA
@jl: I don’t have the disposable cash to engage in such frivolity.
Steve in the ATL
@dww44: where in Georgia are you?
jl
IMHO Abrams gave a very good response. I don’t know if a SOTU response can ever in and of itself be a boffo speech. But Abrams’ response was an order of magnitude better than others I’ve seen, particularly those by GOPers. I think some of the content of her speech was great, and often hit the perfect note and said just the right thing. From listening to her speak during her campaign, sounds to me like it was mostly hers.
The people standing behind her looking towards the camera was a little odd after a while. But, better than some empty ceremonial corridor and a podium. So, whatever it was, it kind of worked.
sukabi
@The Midnight Lurker: or could have gone with smart, studied woman and festering boil.
Cacti
@Omnes Omnibus:
Historically, it’s actually pretty close. 18 former governors became POTUS, and 16 former US Senators. The catch though is that only 3 sitting U.S. Senators have successfully made the jump, while 9 sitting governors have won the Presidency.
Villago Delenda Est
@tobie: Being your brother’s keeper would appeal to actual Christians. Donald’s fundigelical supporters worship Mammon and/or Moloch.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
Let history repeat itself
or at least rhyme
Yutsano
@??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ??: @Sab: Sort of. That’s one case where it happens, but it can also happen if you made no adjustments after the new tax law passed. If you stuck with the standard two, that now might not withhold enough to cover your liability in 2018. The withholding tables went all wonky.
TriassicSands
@tobie:
It seems pretty straightforward — they have two categories — Crucial Issues and Overall and divide each of those into lifetime votes and current session/year votes. Warren gets an A, while Klobuchar gets a C. PP considers the state (or district for Reps) the official runs in. So, a Democrat from a swing state might get a better letter grade than someone with a bit better voting record but from a strongly Democratic state. The user can decide how to rank the senators by clicking on the various columns. So, a senator could look much better if you select Lifetime instead of Crucial.
If you search for Progressive Punch Senate you should find the site. The also rank all the representatives.
Warren
Crucial Votes: Lifetime 98.88% 2019/20 100%
Overall: Lifetime 99.33% 2019/20 100%
Klobuchar:
Crucial Votes: Lifetime 83.05% 2019/20 50%
Overall: Lifetime 89.56% 2019/20 78.57%
Of course, what PP considers crucial is subjective. They also have 14 issue categories that you can look at.
JustRuss
@Jim, Foolish Literalist: On the subject of bad writing, in his story about the Holocaust survivor rescued by Americans Trump said “the train stopped strongly.” WTF does that mean?
TriassicSands
@Jim, Foolish Literalist:
But, but, Jim, I don’t want to wait 8 months.
What would be the absolute worst time for Trump to leave office? I assume, if he does leave office early, he will have a Get Out of Jail Free card from Toady Pence. Ford did a huge disservice to the country when he pardoned Nixon. He used a rationale similar to that of Scalia in Bush v Gore — the country is just too fragile to withstand blah, blah, blah.
TriassicSands
@JustRuss:
That’s as opposed to the train stopping “weekly.”
Who knows? Trump has a very limited vocabulary. It’s heavy on the use of adverbs like “strongly” and he loves “very.” He also seems to have great affection for “beautiful” — especially if it’s his wall. If he couldn’t use superlatives he could barely finish a sentence.
Aleta
MisterForkbeard
@TriassicSands: Yeah, but Progressive Punch does not say that Bernie is the most progressivist person ever, so clearly they’re part of the establishment and just want to coronate Harris, Warren and Booker simultaneously.
Aleta
By our shining big sea waters,
Bright before our
Clear and sunny borders
And he went up that hill
To fetch a pail of water
and gently down that stream.
So may the wind beat always on our boats
and the sun warm upon our faith
We pray our soul to keep
may the road rise to greet us
goodnight.
So help me America.
Sebastian
@Sister Machine Gun of Quiet Harmony:
Thank you Senator Gillibrand
Edit: I am so going to be skinned alive for tgis.
BeautifulPlumage
@Aleta:
?
Thank you for the tl:dr version.
ETA: tl:dwtsmeoe*
*didn’t want to subject my eyes or ears