St Nicholas Day Massacre


I saw this riding to work yesterday – it looks like the aftermath of a firefight that went badly for the Santa faction of the War on Christmas.  Speaking of that war, as far as I could tell, Christmas is still winning.  The non-stop Christmas music started before the Thanksgiving turkey was even digested, garish Christmas decorations were everywhere, and everyone still got the same time off they always do.  In the deep red state where I spent Christmas, all I heard was “Merry Christmas” rather than the Christ-denying “Happy Holidays” that you hear in my blue state.

Open thread.






30 replies
  1. 1
    The Midnight Lurker says:

    What is the difference between an all red cup from Starbucks and an all red tree in the White House?

  2. 2
    JPL says:

    @The Midnight Lurker: One is a tree and one is a cup. Do I win a prize?

  3. 3
    Yarrow says:

    This year Christmas stuff in stores was up in mid-October, even before Halloween. That’s ridiculous. I was at the supermarket two days ago and the “seasonal” aisle had Valentine’s stuff out already. Christmas things were off to the side and on 75% discount. If you wanted Ghiradelli white chocolate with peppermint it was a good deal!

  4. 4
    The Midnight Lurker says:

    @JPL: BZZZT!! I’m sorry. The correct answer is; one is just an excuse for cryin’ baby libtards, who don’t have no sense of style, to complain, and the other is an affront to Baby Jesus. But thank you for playing.

  5. 5
  6. 6
    waratah says:

    https://amp.smh.com.au/national/nsw/why-it-s-hot-on-the-beach-but-cold-in-the-surf-this-summer-20190102-p50p8d.html

    Some of the family in NSW were telling me the water at the beaches were too cold to swim in. I had trouble understanding as the surf always feels cold at first. Then they sent me this link.

  7. 7
    WereBear says:

    @Yarrow: If you wanted Ghiradelli white chocolate with peppermint it was a good deal!

    There’s a reason there’s so much of it. Too sweet and not enough flavor, to me.

  8. 8
  9. 9
    TOP123 says:

    I saw this same decoration carnage when visiting the in-laws in Fort Worth. Apparently it involves inflating your lawn decorations a month or so before Christmas when it’s seventy degrees in Texas, and then come the holiday and a timely cold snap and awwwwwww down goes Frosty

  10. 10
    OzarkHillbilly says:

    The War on Christmas is over. Wal Mart won. Instead of a day set aside in celebration of a man who sacrificed everything for the sake of others, we now engage in an orgy of planet killing over-consumption.

    Also, “Happy Holidays” is not Christ-denying as it’s very root is “Happy Holy Days”.

    Oh yeah, BAH! HUMBUG!

  11. 11
    OzarkHillbilly says:

    @The Midnight Lurker: Stop picking on Melania!!!

  12. 12
    JPL says:

    Everyone just needs to have a little faith and trust in the lord. Happy holy days, indeed.

    https://twitter.com/KennyDennard/status/1081153819482955777

  13. 13
    Ken says:

    @Yarrow:

    Ghiradelli white chocolate

    Ghiradelli is probably OK, but I carefully read the labels of anything labeled “white chocolate” since finding some stuff that was mostly palm oil and sugar. Careful inspection of the package revealed the words “chocolate-flavored coating” in a much smaller font than the big “WHITE CHOCOLATE” label.

  14. 14
    H.E.Wolf says:

    The title of this post was a jolt, because I had just seen this piece of bad news:

    https://www.voanews.com/a/california-police-multiple-victims-in-bowling-alley-shooting/

    I will be calling my US Rep on Monday and stating my support for H.R. 8, which would (with a few exceptions) “require federal background checks on all gun sales, including private transactions.”

    [edited to disentangle link from commentary]

  15. 15
    OzarkHillbilly says:

    @MattF: Christmas will never be the same again. Thank you.

  16. 16
    MattF says:

    @Ken: Well, yes. ‘White chocolate’ doesn’t have any of that brown stuff in it, so the ingredients are limited to vegetable oil and sugar. You can eat it if you like… but why not just buy Crisco and add a few cups of sugar?

  17. 17
    Gin & Tonic says:

    Since we are on religion, today is the culmination of independence for the Ukrainian Orthodox Church. Ecumenical Patriarch Bartholomew of Constantinople has granted them what is called a “tomos”, which the President is taking back to Kyiv tomorrow, Christmas Eve.

    Comrade Vladimir Vladimirovich and his partner Patriarch Kirill are not happy.

  18. 18
    Gin & Tonic says:

    @MattF: Um, cocoa butter is a key ingredient of ‘real’ white chocolate.

  19. 19
    MattF says:

    @Gin & Tonic: Hmm. Well, strictly speaking, cocoa butter is a vegetable oil, so I’m not entirely wrong. But not entirely right, either, I suppose.

  20. 20
    Enhanced Voting Techniques says:

    Were all Santa Claus now

  21. 21
    Barbara says:

    @MattF: I assume that white chocolate — cocoa butter solids, basically — was used by bakers to create a wider range of color decoration for their baked goods. Prior to using white chocolate, most of the decorations used for sumptuous goodies were made from marzipan, aka almond paste.

  22. 22
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @OzarkHillbilly: They are catering to the evangelicals, who do not follow Jesus of Nazareth, but instead follow Mammon and/or Moloch.

  23. 23
    mrmoshpotato says:

    @H.E.Wolf: That link is broken for some reason. Here’s a working one:
    https://www.voanews.com/a/three-killed-and-four-injured-in-california-bowling-alley-shooting/4730070.html

    Probably not the first mass shooting of 2019 either. *sigh*

    But let’s get back to the important stuff – being shocked that a Congresswoman called DT a motherfucker.

  24. 24
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @Gin & Tonic: Patriarch Kirill can stick his comical hat up his ass.

  25. 25
    Immanentize says:

    @Gin & Tonic:
    Does this upend the treaty of Karlowitz? 🤔

  26. 26
    A Ghost To Most says:

    Fuck christians. And impeach the motherfucker.

    That said, the picture is a wonderful unintended consequence of our blow-up culture.

  27. 27
    Gin & Tonic says:

    @Immanentize: It reverses a decision taken by the Patriarch of Constantinople in 1685, granting the Moscow Patriarchate dominion over all Orthodox churches in Ukraine. The various “political” settlements and treaties from ~1650-1700 were not directly involved (yes, I know the distinction between ecclesiastical and political spheres was different then.)

  28. 28
    H.E.Wolf says:

    @mrmoshpotato:
    Thank you for fixing the link!

  29. 29
    Barry says:

    “The non-stop Christmas music started before the Thanksgiving turkey was even digested…”

    That late? These days I’m hoping to make it through October before it starts.

  30. 30
    Ken says:

    @MattF:

    Ankh-Morpork people, said the guild, were hearty, no-nonsense folk who did not want chocolate that was stuffed with cocoa liquor […] This meant that, according to the food standards of the great chocolate centers in Borogravia and Quirm, Ankh-Morpork chocolate was formally classed as “cheese” and only escaped, through being the wrong color, being defined as “tile grout.”

    Terry Pratchett, Thief of Time

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