Open Thread: The Xmasing

 
“About last night…”

Lloyd sat in her kitchen on hold for about six minutes, she told The Post and Courier. There was no hold music, just silence. She expected to hear a voice recording when it picked up, if anything.

“He has a lot to do on the night of Christmas Eve,” she said.

Then came the New York accent…

“Are you still a believer in Santa?” he asked.

“Yes, sir,” she said…

Then the president asked her a puzzling question:

“Because at 7, that’s marginal, right?”

Lloyd had never heard that word before, “marginal.”

“Yes, sir,” she said…

After the president hung up the phone, Lloyd sat in her kitchen with her parents, her 10-year-old sister, her 5-year-old brother and a friend. She wondered about Trump’s family, and what his Christmas Eve plans were.

If she ever had the chance to talk to the president again, Lloyd said, she’d ask him about his family.

“Most people know this question. I would like to ask if he has any kids,” she said. “I’ve honestly never heard of them or seen any of them so I was wondering.”

That night, Lloyd and her siblings left iced sugar cookies and chocolate milk out for Santa. The next morning, they were gone, and under the tree was a wrapped gift with Lloyd’s name on it: a brand new American Girl doll.

Santa is real after all, Lloyd said.






57 replies
  1. 1
    Adam L Silverman says:

    If she ever had the chance to talk to the president again, Lloyd said, she’d ask him about his family.

    “Most people know this question. I would like to ask if he has any kids,” she said. “I’ve honestly never heard of them or seen any of them so I was wondering.”

    I’ll have whatever she’s having!

  2. 2
    debbie says:

    @Adam L Silverman:

    Kids are the smartest people!

  3. 3
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @debbie: Sure they are…
    https://adequateman.deadspin.com/what-did-we-get-stuck-in-our-rectums-last-year-1831046610

    “POPCORN KERNELS IN BOTH EARS, ‘FEEDS HER EARS BECAUSE HER EARS ARE HUNGRY’”

    I read that list every year and try to figure out which one is Cole…

  4. 4
    HinTN says:

    @debbie:

    Kids are the smartest people!

    Damn straight! Had two of ’em in the house this evening. A pleasure it was

  5. 5
    M31 says:

    hahhaha as a kid I used to go to this Ear, Nose, and Throat doctor who had a huge glass case in his office full of all the things he’d pulled out of ears, noses, and throats. It was astonishing. Ping pong balls, fish hooks, you name it.

  6. 6
  7. 7
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @HinTN: If that had been listed as a him, I would have concluded it was referring to the President.

  8. 8
    🇺🇸🌎 Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)  🗳🌷 says:

    The @postandcourier found the 7-year-old who the president talked to about Santa. She didn’t know what “marginal” meant and still believes in Santa

    Well, I guess not everything Trump touches dies, thank goodness.

    Also, Trump claims that the federal workforce supports the shutdown. What an asshole.

  9. 9
    Gin & Tonic says:

    @M31: I have a friend who did his surgical ER residency at St. Vincent’s Hospital in NYC in the very late 1970’s. He’d tell stories of things he pulled out of, let’s say, not ears, noses and throats.

    This may not resonate if you’re not familiar with the time and place.

  10. 10
    Westyny says:

    @Gin & Tonic: Doctor: There’s a dozen roses up here!
    Patient: Read the card! Read the card!

  11. 11

    @🇺🇸🌎 Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)  🗳🌷:

    Also, Trump claims that the federal workforce supports the shutdown.

    That’s interesting. The federal employee I most recently had personal contact with (an investigator for the FDA) said she wasn’t allowed to give us her opinion on the potential for a shutdown because it would be a violation of the Hatch Act. I suspect that’s a more honest answer than anything Trump has heard recently.

  12. 12
    🇺🇸🌎 Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)  🗳🌷 says:

    @Gin & Tonic:

    This may not resonate if you’re not familiar with the time and place.

    Let me guess: bullets, unfortunately?

  13. 13
    spudgun says:

    Ok, it’s an open thread, so…I know it’s already late (busy with the fam all day) and most of the jackals won’t see this, but I wanted to say that I hope everyone had a marvelous holiday and here’s to a better, more fluffy and shiny new year.

    I’m so grateful for this site and the folks who write and comment here, and I’m so happy to “know” all of you, even if I lurk more than I comment.

    2019, here we come!!

  14. 14
    🇺🇸🌎 Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)  🗳🌷 says:

    @Roger Moore:
    I didn’t even think of that part of it. Like many other things, Trump probably doesn’t know the Hatch Act exists or what it does. The local news didn’t mention it either. Ray Bradbury, flawed as he was, was right that local television news is the worst.

  15. 15
    Patricia Kayden says:

    Yes Collman, Trump has kids. They’re pretty pivotal to his presidency. He never talks about his grandchildren though which I find interesting.

  16. 16
    Yutsano says:

    @🇺🇸🌎 Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)  🗳🌷: The Hatch Act does limit what employees can say but almost all of it covers activities at work. I’m off duty so I can say what I want about it.

    It’s going to be terrible. Even just this two weeks will be devastating. Especially if I don’t get unemployment by Friday. I jumped on it a week ago so we’ll see.

  17. 17
    SFAW says:

    Lloyd had never heard that word before, “marginal.”

    I have to confess, I’m a little amazed that Fuckhead used the word in a not-completely-fucked-up way. [To be clear, he was a fucking asshole for saying it, but his use of it is not as incorrect as a lot of his other idiocies.]

  18. 18
    ruemara says:

    We christmased hard. The cats won.

  19. 19
  20. 20
    randy khan says:

    @🇺🇸🌎 Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)  🗳🌷:

    Also, Trump claims that the federal workforce supports the shutdown.

    Best case, Nielsen told him DHS was supportive, and he decided to take that to mean DHS workers were supportive. Most likely case, he’s just making it up.

    Based on the federal workers I know (and living in DC, I know quite a few), I’d say it’s close to unanimous opposition.

  21. 21
    🇺🇸🌎 Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)  🗳🌷 says:

    @Yutsano:
    I’m so sorry to hear that. You guys don’t deserve to be punished for Trump’s stupid, racist wall. I hope unemployment comes through for you and this shutdown ends ASAP.

  22. 22
    TomatoQueen says:

    @randy khan: Yup, unanimous opposition here. And I’m SSA, funded through September (how the hell that was done I do not know and am afraid there will be a reckoning), and on vacation.

  23. 23
    debbie says:

    @Adam L Silverman:

    Ah, but years ago, I saw an x-ray of a grown man who did that with the wide end of a 40-oz. bottle of beer. So, comparatively speaking…

  24. 24
    mrmoshpotato says:

    @Adam L Silverman: Same here, but I’d like to add a few good slugs of not knowing about DJT too!

    It’ll be real interesting to see how school books talk about this time in the coming years. I, for one, don’t think kids too young to understand the current shitshow should be told about it until they’re 21. I’ll need beers to recollect this bastard presidency, and it’s only fair to share.

  25. 25
    mrmoshpotato says:

    @Patricia Kayden: And he doesn’t seem to talk about his kids with affection (lusting after his own daughter doesn’t count).

    The kids seem to come up when talking about what rotten mobsters they are too.

  26. 26
    spudgun says:

    @Yutsano: What Goku said – I’m so sorry you’re suffering such a stressful situation because of that piece of trash in the White House.

  27. 27
    🇺🇸🌎 Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)  🗳🌷 says:

    @Gozer:
    ….I don’t think I want to.
    @randy khan:

    Most likely case, he’s just making it up.

    Based on the federal workers I know (and living in DC, I know quite a few), I’d say it’s close to unanimous opposition.

    That sounds about right, but then, to try to understand the inner workings of the Orange One’s mind is to invite madness.

    That this might have unanimous opposition among federal workers is unsurprising to anyone but Trump.

  28. 28
    spudgun says:

    @ruemara: Aww, cutey-cute!

  29. 29
    debbie says:

    @🇺🇸🌎 Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)  🗳🌷:

    There’s a hashtag for federal workers to share how the shutdown is affecting them. It’s not a pretty picture.

    #ShutdownStories

  30. 30
    joel hanes says:

    @ruemara:

    The cats won.

    Our cat has been in a standoffish snit for two days over the disruption of accustomed routine.
    Furniture moved around: not acceptable.
    Presents under the tree: offputting.
    People too busy wrapping or cooking to pet a cat : will be cut, socially, for 24 hours.

  31. 31
    thalarctosMaritimus says:

    @ruemara: Is that one of the kittens? OMG–so big now!

  32. 32
    Plato says:

    The lying sociopathic asshole doesn’t have even a smidgen of grace in him, does he?

  33. 33

    @Yutsano:

    The Hatch Act does limit what employees can say but almost all of it covers activities at work.

    The FDA person I was interacting with was on the job, so she was right to say the Hatch Act limited what she could say. OTOH, she was clearly obeying the letter of the law and not the spirit, since anyone with a brain larger than Trump’s could figure out what she felt about the shutdown.

  34. 34
    NotMax says:

    Adam, dropped something into a thread downstairs which you might find amusing.

  35. 35
    Mnemosyne says:

    I got a stuffed otter and otter socks while wearing my “All of the otter reindeer” t-shirt, plus we came home with leftover pasta and a box of See’s candy, so it was a good day.

    I do have to work tomorrow, but I should be able to take Thursday and Friday off unless something goes wrong. Yay!

  36. 36
    Duane says:

    @mrmoshpotato: It was noted here that Trumpov’s family Christmas card pictured him and Melania, no other family. Shows what he thinks of them.

  37. 37

    @Duane:

    It was noted here that Trumpov’s family Christmas card pictured him and Melania, no other family. Shows what he thinks of them.

    Not necessarily. I would expect that Trump doesn’t care enough about that kind of thing to involve himself in making the family Christmas card; I’d bet Melania was responsible.

  38. 38
    NotMax says:

    Has the advent of so-called social media put a nail into the coffin of the sending out of those silly yearly Xmastime newsletters? As probably 20 years since last received a holiday card, have nothing by which to gauge.

  39. 39
    Suzanne says:

    We had beef Wellington, roasted fennel and fingerling potatoes with balsamic vinegar, goat cheese and mustard greens salad, stuffed pasta shells, and apple tart tatin with mascarpone for dessert. I am very full. Spawns loved their gifts. Church yesterday was very nice. A great Christmas.

    Mr. Suzanne’s parents arrive one week from today. Sigh.

  40. 40
    Duane says:

    @Roger Moore: I have no problem believing Melania doesn’t give a damn about the rest of his family. This bunch can’t do the simple social things one would expect. Their complete incompetence never stops. That and the evil.

  41. 41
    Ohio Mom says:

    @🇺🇸🌎 Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)  🗳🌷: um no. What were retrieved were things beyond my paltry imagination, placed in various orifices for sexual pleasure, that could not be removed after they served their purpose by the people who put them there, thereby necessitating a trip to the emergency room.

    On another note, love that photo of the human Christmas tree riding the subway. It reminds me of all the “To think that I saw it on Mulberry Street” moments of my childhood and youth in NYC.

  42. 42
    ruemara says:

    @thalarctosMaritimus: Yep. The princess, conquering her human sofa. They had a great morning playing with their gift of lots of wrapping paper.

  43. 43
    Yarrow says:

    Hope everyone had a great Christmas. I think I’m finally letting down a tiny bit from what has been an insane three weeks of cleaning and prepping. Like up until 2 a.m. cleaning and then doing it all over again the next day. I’m exhausted. And it’s not over because tomorrow is another Christmas gathering. Still haven’t opened my presents. Not enough time. Everyone had a good time today, though, so that was nice.

  44. 44
    Yarrow says:

    @Ohio Mom: Medical students love to talk about the buckets in the ER containing “stuff pulled out of….” Apparently it’s a pretty common thing for people to put the oddest stuff up and in various places and not be able to get it out.

  45. 45
    Gravenstone says:

    @Roger Moore:

    I suspect that’s a more honest answer than anything Trump has heard recently.

    The only thing Trump hears is the voices in his head.

  46. 46
    🇺🇸🌎 Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)  🗳🌷 says:

    @Ohio Mom:
    Sorry. Didn’t read the whole conversation.

  47. 47
    🇺🇸🌎 Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)  🗳🌷 says:

    @debbie:
    I can imagine. I’ll have to check that hashtag out.

  48. 48
    Suzanne says:

    @Duane: Aside from the evil, these people are just so fucken weird. Like, they must have been raised by wolves. They don’t behave in the fashion of anyone who has, you know, ever interacted with other humans.

  49. 49
    Yutsano says:

    @🇺🇸🌎 Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)  🗳🌷: @spudgun: Thanks. I got quite a bit of cash for Christmas and in between that and what I have in the bank I should have just enough to cover rent next week if I don’t get money either Friday or Monday the 31st. But lack of funds then puts me in massive panic mode.

  50. 50
    wasabi gasp says:

    Naming your girl Collman is outside the margins.

  51. 51
    Steeplejack (phone) says:

    @wasabi gasp:

    Old Southern tradition of naming a girl child after a surname in the family possibly at work here. Memorable one I saw once was a girl in Alabama named Weatherby.

  52. 52
    Walker says:

    @Steeplejack (phone):

    Not just girls. Any family name that is lost (or about to be lost) through marriage enters first name rotation. Me and all my siblings were named that way.

  53. 53
    Skepticat says:

    Christmas cat is very happy with her present. pic.twitter.com/Dsj2XFrbRI

    Well, it is Boxing Day, after all. My cats are celebrating pretty much the same way.

  54. 54
    Chris Johnson says:

    @Suzanne: They were raised by millionaires. Think about it. Fred Trump, and onward.

  55. 55
    chopper says:

    @TomatoQueen:

    i’m commerce and had use or lose leave to take this week, but my department is funded. i’m sure lots of furloughed folks are trying to figure out how to get their annual leave back.

  56. 56
    StringOnAStick says:

    I spent one semester training to be a radiology tech before I switched to dental hygiene. At the end of that semester, the main instructor pulled out the “Jesus, look at this!” file of films. The usual stuff like 2 Liter coke bottles, light bulbs, etc, but the one that stuck with me was the woman who got mad at her rather large pet snake, chopped it up, and swallowed all the pieces. There, in her colon, were all the segments in all their snake-y vertebral glory. He did say the woman appeared to be well into a psychotic break when she came to the ER.

  57. 57
    Shana says:

    @Duane: I agree, but what about Barron? Doesn’t he still live there?

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