Open Thread: Polar Opposites

72 replies
  1. 1
    Raoul says:

    All I have is: “Rosebud.”

  2. 2
    Patricia Kayden says:

    It’s strange that Trump tweeted that he was all alone when his wife flew back from Florida to be with him.

    Anyhoo, hope everyone is enjoying their Christmas Eve except for Trump and his supporters, of course.

  3. 3
    zhena gogolia says:

    I thought Paul Bronks was suspended. I can’t see his tweets any more.

  4. 4
    NotMax says:

    Okay, this cartoon made me smile.

    Bells, you say?

  5. 5
    debbie says:

    @zhena gogolia:

    That’s a tweet from before the suspension. :(

  6. 6
    frosty says:

    Paging Siuban Duinne… cleanup in the poetry aisle! Can’t anyone write a parody that scans correctly. Every one of the Night Before Xmas ones I’ve read has too many syllables. Good rhymes though.

  7. 7
    kdbart says:

    This is all ends like it ended for Cody Jarrett, right?

  8. 8
    zhena gogolia says:


    Just stick close to Edmond O’Brien and you’ll be okay.

  9. 9

    @Patricia Kayden: And he has a school aged child!

  10. 10
    Mnemosyne says:

    @zhena gogolia:

    He’s now tweeting from @slendersherbet rather than @boringenormous. He has a full explanation, but basically he got targeted by video squatters who tried to extort him for using “their” videos. He refused, so they got Twitter to shut him down. 😡

  11. 11
    NotMax says:


    Roses are red
    Violets are blue
    Most of these scan
    But this one fails to do so

  12. 12
    dmsilev says:

    @Patricia Kayden: Of course, she left him behind to go to Florida before someone talked her into coming back.

  13. 13
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @Patricia Kayden: @Dorothy A. Winsor: I’m sure the First Lady took her son to her parents. Her parents have a house about 4 or 5 miles from the White House.

  14. 14
    debbie says:


    Thanks. I know he’s made more than a few animal lovers apoplectic.

  15. 15
    JR says:

    I’m trying to drink away the part of the day that I cannot sleep away…

  16. 16
    Amir Khalid says:

    It’s wicked of me, I know, but this is the kind of Christmas I want Trump to have.

  17. 17
    NotMax says:

    @Adam l. Silverman

    Oh, to be a fly on the wall at that dinner.

    Does Hertz rent vans with directional pickup antennae?


  18. 18
    A Ghost To Most says:

    The jackass is probably sitting under some mistletoe with a mirror, kissing himself.

  19. 19
    Barbara says:

    @NotMax: You’ll need a Slovenian translator. Apparently she and Barron speak to each other, and of course to her parents, in Slovenian.

  20. 20
    dmsilev says:

    No link, but apparently the stock market gyrations have done what two years of steadily mounting scandals and crimes were unable to accomplish: convince the Mustache Of Understanding (aka Tom Friedman) that Trump should be removed from office ASAP. Of course he wants to start by having two unicorns, the Loch Ness Monster, and three Yetis, sorry I mean a bunch of responsible and patriotic Republican leaders stage an intervention and once that fails to call for his ouster. But that’s still progress, and it only took four Friedman Units for him to get this far.

  21. 21
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @NotMax: It’s a Hertz Club Gold membership upgrade. If you have the points, you’re good.

  22. 22
    zhena gogolia says:


    Thank you! I was in withdrawal.

  23. 23
    NotMax says:

    A corresponding chart with number of dentists per capita would be nice.

    Most Popular Christmas Candy by State

  24. 24
    Adam L Silverman says:


    three Yetis

    Leave my cousins out of this.

  25. 25
    Mary G says:


    Donald Trump, answering phone call from 7-year-old on Christmas Eve: "Are you still a believer in Santa? Because at seven it's marginal, right?"— The Daily Beast (@thedailybeast) December 25, 2018

  26. 26
    scav says:

    @Mary G: That is about the age where most individuals stop believing our current president is normal, let alone able.

    (some close their eyes furiously and continue to pretend, hoping to get more gifts.)

  27. 27
    NotMax says:

    @Mary G

    Followed by “Would you like to be Secretary of Defense?”


    Can’t help but wonder how come that’s dated tomorrow?

  28. 28
    Baud says:


    (some close their eyes furiously and continue to pretend, hoping to get more gifts.)

    But enough about Trump’s cabinet

  29. 29
  30. 30
    zhena gogolia says:

    I just had the thought, “John Cole is probably having a sweet Christmas Eve in the bosom of his family,” then I peeked at his Twitter feed and saw that he’s live-tweeting a Christmas concert featuring bad local high-school bands. That made me feel better somehow. Our Christmas Eve consisted of watching Christmas in Connecticut from 4 to 6, then having hot dogs for dinner. Tomorrow should be a little better.

  31. 31
    zhena gogolia says:

    @zhena gogolia:

    I should have said that the concert he’s live-tweeting is on TV.

  32. 32
    SiubhanDuinne says:


    Ha! I’m working on it! The scansion (or lack thereof) is making me crazy!

  33. 33
    NotMax says:

    @zhena gogolia

    then having hot dogs for dinner.

    Can almost see Uncle Felix slapping his cheeks in horror.


    “Paprika. That will fix it.”

  34. 34
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @scav: Leave Seb Gorka out of this!//

  35. 35
    NotMax says:


    First stanza, no charge.

    ‘Twas the night before Christmas
    And at the White House
    Just one creature was stirring
    And he was a louse


  36. 36
    Adam L Silverman says:


    First stanza, no charge.

    This doesn’t rhyme, nor is the meter right.//

  37. 37
    SiubhanDuinne says:


    On children who love me
    (Assuming there if any!)
    On Eric! On Junior!
    On Barron and Tiffany!

    (ETA: It makes no grammatical sense, but I like the rhyme. Especially considering I am in a NyQuil haze.)

  38. 38
    plato says:

    No matter what you think of Trump, I think we can all agree he's a cancer on the earth.

    — God (@TheTweetOfGod) December 24, 2018

  39. 39
    plato says:

    I do not love you. I hate you, Sarah Sanders. I can't stress this enough.

    — God (@TheTweetOfGod) December 24, 2018

  40. 40
    NotMax says:

    @Adam L. Silverman

    “You want gems, go to Africa.”
      – Groucho


  41. 41
    zhena gogolia says:


    We had paprika on the cauliflower in honor of Uncle Felix.

    I actually said, “I’m glad we’re not having one of those roast duck dinners.”

  42. 42
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @zhena gogolia: You do know there’s now a cauliflower recall because it’s coming from the same farms as the contaminated romaine lettuce?

    I realize that the USDA, FDA, and CDC figured that since no one actually likes cauliflower, that the recall didn’t need as much publicity as romaine lettuce did.

  43. 43
    realbtl says:

    When outside the White House
    Bob Mueller did sing
    A load of subpoenas
    To you I do bring.

  44. 44
    zhena gogolia says:

    @Adam L Silverman:

    Wow, I thought you were joking, but it’s real. We love cauliflower. But we had it last night too and no ill effects, so I assume it’s okay.

  45. 45
    NotMax says:

    @zhena gogolia

    White food? Could have been worse.


  46. 46
    Suzanne says:

    @plato: The God Twitter account is one of my favorite things on the internet.

    What a dickhole. You’re alone on Christmas Eve because no one loves you and you don’t love anyone! Your wife flew back to save you from everyone knowing how fucking alone and gross you are.

    Other than the presidential situation, however, I’m enjoying Christmas thus far. Grammy made Luna-Lu a new sweater.

  47. 47
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @zhena gogolia: I was not joking.

  48. 48
    joel hanes says:

    The Merriest of Christmases to all those jackals who keep it.

    And a joyous and peaceful solstice to those who do not.

    May 2019 be a better year.
    Much, much, much better

  49. 49
    frosty says:

    @zhena gogolia: Pizza Hut for our dinner tonight. Waited until 6 to go find something. Oops.

  50. 50
    tobie says:

    @zhena gogolia: I think if you cook the cauliflower, it’s fine. I just had cauliflower tonight and, knock on wood, am not suffering ill effects.

  51. 51
    zhena gogolia says:



  52. 52
    frosty says:

    Rats. Moderated because of a typo in the email. Sticky nyms plz?

  53. 53
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @frosty: I’ve freed it.

  54. 54

    @Adam L Silverman: I was watching some Gordon Ramsey cooking show and he made pureed cauliflower as if that were a good thing.

  55. 55
    Baud says:

    @joel hanes:

    May 2019 be a better year.

    May is a month, silly.

  56. 56
    Chetan Murthy says:

    @Dorothy A. Winsor: Pav Bhaji is lovely. Just lovely.

  57. 57
    Chetan Murthy says:

    @Chetan Murthy:

    Pav Bhaji is lovely.

    Sorry, maybe a little less cryptic: it’s an Indian dish containing (amongst other veggies) mashed cauliflower. Yum! And I typically don’t cook Indian food.

  58. 58
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @frosty: Though given that you admitted to going to Pizza Hut for dinner, makes me thing I should have moved it to Spam.//

  59. 59
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @Dorothy A. Winsor: You couldn’t pay me to either watch him or eat his food.

  60. 60
    Plato says:

    There's no 5 second rule at my house.
    The dog is much quicker than that.

    — Darlin’ Darla (@Darlainky) April 15, 2015

    Guessing in cole’s household the cat is the dog.

  61. 61
    NotMax says:

    @Adam L. Silverman

    Ditto. He’s one toque over the line.

    (Apologies to Brewer & Shipley.)

  62. 62
    NotMax says:

    Linky fix.

    @Adam L. Silverman

    Ditto. He’s one toque over the line.

    (Apologies to Brewer & Shipley.)

  63. 63
    NotMax says:

    Running The Third Man in the background on Netflix. There are an awful lot of fuzzy prints out there. This one is pretty clear but still inconsistently sharp.

  64. 64
    Uncle Cosmo says:


    There was a young bard from Japan
    Whose limericks never would scan.
    When someone asked why,
    He’d reply, “Because I
    Always try to fit as many words into the last line as I possibly can.”


  65. 65
    satby says:

    I can beat pizza hut and hot dogs for dinner, I had a bowl of Cheerios. There’s a ribeye in the fridge that was supposed to be tonight’s dinner, but I had a leftover enchilada for lunch and I wasn’t hungry enough to bother cooking.

  66. 66
    Ken says:

    @Uncle Cosmo:
    There once was a gas man named Peter
    Who one day while reading the meter
    Used a match for some light
    He blew out of sight
    And as anyone who knows anything about poetry can tell you, he absolutely ruined the meter.

  67. 67
    Ruckus says:

    @Adam L Silverman:
    I used to have that upgrade.

  68. 68
    Miss Bianca says:

    @zhena gogolia: one of my favorite Christmas movies!

  69. 69
    zhena gogolia says:

    @Miss Bianca:

    It’s perfection.

  70. 70
    Jackie says:

    @tobie: Trump has announced any foods not processed by McDonalds and KFC not subject to FDA inspection.

  71. 71
    Comrade Colette Collaboratrice says:

    @zhena gogolia:

    I actually said, “I’m glad we’re not having one of those roast duck dinners.”

    Wha … wha … what?!? We actually just ate a homemade roast duck dinner. I slaved all afternoon on the frickin’ thing. It was delicious. WTF is your problem?!?


  72. 72
    zhena gogolia says:

    @Comrade Colette Collaboratrice:

    All I meant was, we’re having brisket today so I was glad not to be having one of the heavy meals described in the above-mentioned film Christmas in Connecticut. It was a film reference — not a very clear one.

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