Florida Man or Woman Plans His or Her Escape!

I am not authorized at this time to confirm or deny that this is my cover letter or BettyC’s…

Open thread.

42 replies
  1. 1
  2. 2
    A Ghost To Most says:

    One thing is certain: it wasn’t me, although I appreciate the sentiment.

  3. 3
    Steve in the ATL says:

    Shit, I would love to be in Florida right now! No offense to the Muncie, Indiana juicetariat.

  4. 4
    Patricia Kayden says:

    Florida is actually a nice state if you’re looking for a cheaper home in a warmer climate. I guess odd people come with the territory.

  5. 5
    Schlemazel says:

    WHen I knew I could not take another year in Florida I applied for jobs. I had a great interview for an interesting job. AT the end the HR person got quiet for a second & then in a dejected voice. “Oh, this job is in Minnesota, nobody moves from Florida to Minnesota.”

    23 years later, freezing on the dark tundra as the solstice approaches I would do it all over again

  6. 6
    Steve in the ATL says:

    Florida is actually a nice state

    Go home @Patricia Kayden, you’re drunk!

  7. 7
    Gvg says:

    I love Florida. All my family are here and the climate is great. There are some idiots who vote that cause problems though.
    I hate being cold.

  8. 8
    Jim, Foolish Literalist says:

    Eli Stokols @ EliStokols
    Per source, Trump was “mostly aggravated with Schumer,” the fellow New Yorker, and his refusal to look at POTUS while directing his comments to the pool cameras. Aides, however, were more rattled that he’d just accepted responsibility for a possible shutdown.

    watching the clips of the meeting after reading this tweet, you really can see how annoyed The Beast is with Schumer looking away from him

  9. 9
    Adam L Silverman says:

    I’m amazed it took the PRC this long to retaliate:

  10. 10
    Sab says:

    @Gvg: I hate poisonous snakes in the shrubbery.

  11. 11
    tobie says:

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: Wasn’t Trump the one who insisted the meeting should be held with cameras and the press present? Seems a little late (and lame) to complain about Schumer’s body language now. I guess he thought he would give the nation a master class in The Art of the Deal.

  12. 12
    Anne Laurie says:

    @Gvg: I hate humidity. Only been to Orlando (in January) and Miami (in November), but leaving the terminal & getting hit with that aerosolized WETNESS… ugh.

    Especially when the locals chat perkily about how it’s so much nicer during the “dry” season!

  13. 13
    poleaxedbyboatwork says:

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist:

    watching the clips of the meeting after reading this tweet, you really can see how annoyed The Beast is with Schumer looking away from him

    “I’m not going to be IGNORED, Dan.”

    “No, I’m going to allow myself to be goaded into impetuously accepting the blame for my own imbecility, and then, b/c I’m unconquerably stupid and self-defeating, I’m going to shut down the government anyway b/c Lyiin’ Chuck and Nancy SMASH made me look like a bloviating blockhead.”

    Preznit Deals, America.

  14. 14
    Lapassionara says:

    @Adam L Silverman: They don’t operate on our schedule.

  15. 15
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @Lapassionara: Yep.

  16. 16
    MomSense says:

    It’s 21 degrees outside. Florida doesn’t sound so bad to me.

  17. 17
    A Ghost To Most says:

    @Anne Laurie:

    I hate humidity.

    Right there with you. In Colorado, humidity is just a flatlander problem.

  18. 18

    @Anne Laurie: humidity is the worst!

    Good thing I don’t live anywhere humid! 🤔

  19. 19
    Gvg says:

    @Sab: poisonous is pretty rare. It’s been 15 years since I saw one except in a zoo. Unfortunately my father is fascinated by snakes and insists on looking at every glass and garter snake we encounter. I am 55 and I am bored with those common species. They all look alike after decades of hikes and yard work and I try to be polite but geeze. My dad is 77 and still like a kid around snakes. They are boring boring boring. He won’t hurry up and finish looking either. My sister is nearly as bad.
    Sorry I needed to vent.

  20. 20
    Gin & Tonic says:

    @Major Major Major Major: August in NY is delightful.

  21. 21
    MomSense says:

    I love Nancy Smash.

    badass

  22. 22
    Gvg says:

    @Anne Laurie: people like what they like. Humidity doesn’t get to me but my poor mother suffers. On the other hand California was beautiful but so dry I thought my skin would crack. I can only visit.
    Florida is already too crowded. If everyone liked the same things I did, we really be packed. It’s better we aren’t all alike. Nice to visit different places though.

  23. 23
    Mike in NC says:

    Wife once declared Florida to be her favorite state as we stepped off the plane in Orlando. She attended art school in Fort Lauderdale for a couple of years while going to parties. But we have no desire to live there.

  24. 24
    HumboldtBlue says:

    Wonder if that’s my brilliant niece, she’s a high school senior in Florida. Although, probably not, UF is her second choice.

    As for Nancy, that’s what grandma does, she talks the little boy through the issue until he understands what he’s done.

    Only in this case it still means a direct threat to the very existence of the nation.

    Liverpool are through to the final 16 in Champions League, so there’s that.

  25. 25
  26. 26
    Yarrow says:

    @MomSense: That is awesome. Further down that thread there’s a “CSI: Pelosi” one “I’d like to report a murder.” Heh.

  27. 27
    Jim, Foolish Literalist says:

    @Lapassionara: @Adam L Silverman:

    Jeet Heer @ HeerJeet
    If I were her attorney, I’d use this to argue this is a political arrest.

    Reuters Top News @ Reuters
    EXCLUSIVE: Trump says release of #Huawei CFO could be part of a broader trade deal with China.

  28. 28
    Kayla Rudbek says:

    Trying to decide whether to indulge myself this holiday season by getting the Doctor Who Barbie doll and/or the Rocking Sock Club 2019 from Blue Moon Fiber Arts which has a theme of Lost in Space

    I suppose that if we are facing a shutdown I should be responsible with my money.

  29. 29
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: His inability to not remain silent is going to, eventually, create a major crisis.

  30. 30
    Sab says:

    @Gvg: We left Florida in 1966, before they built Disneyworld. Our part of Florida wasn’t built up much, and the snakes were everywhere, and often as not they were poisonous. We did have a lovely indigo snake in the front yard.

    On the other hand, alligators were pretty rare. They were importing surplus gators from Louisiana.

  31. 31
    Yarrow says:

    This Luckovich cartoon is perfect.

    pic.twitter.com/0IsUI92ITT— mike luckovich (@mluckovichajc) December 11, 2018

  32. 32
  33. 33
    HumboldtBlue says:

    @Yarrow:

    Salty elbow guy is pretty good too.

  34. 34
    Suzanne says:

    @Schlemazel:

    “Oh, this job is in Minnesota, nobody moves from Florida to Minnesota.”

    My custody agreement for Spawn the Elder expires in 2021, at which point I will not be able to vacate Arizona fast enough. Minnesota is on the list of potentials. I’ve been hot enough for an entire life and afterlife.

    Tomorrow is my ninth wedding anniversary. He still puts up with me.

  35. 35
    Mnemosyne says:

    I have a temporary crown on one of my back molars that is REALLY PISSING ME OFF. I accidentally popped it off while flossing the very first day, and now the fucker keeps wiggling around even though I’ve used OTC temporary cement on it three fucking times.

    Ugh. I get the permanent on Thursday. I CANNOT FUCKING WAIT.

  36. 36
    ruemara says:

    That’s actually me here in California.

    @Mnemosyne: My crown popped off multiple times & it’s permanent. it’s very annoying. Also, pls to send address via emails?

  37. 37
    Mnemosyne says:

    @ruemara:

    Home address?
    Are we getting cookies? 🍪

    It’s an oddly-shaped tooth and, to be fair, it was my own fault for forgetting the damn thing was there and flossing under the edge of it. I’m still annoyed, though.

    Fortunately, it’s a tooth that had a previous root canal, so it’s just annoying, not painful. My poor brother lost a crown at my wedding reception and was miserable for most of the night because it was over a regular tooth that still had all of its nerves. Ouch!

  38. 38
    Ruckus says:

    @Mnemosyne:
    Had a new crown come off about a week after getting it. Went back and doc redid it, been there for 8 yrs now. However as I was leaving the receptionist tried to charge me the price of a new crown. I informed her that it had been a week and there had better be a guarantee and a no cost replacement after one week or the noise I’d make could be heard for miles and she probably wouldn’t like most of the words. Never heard another word.

  39. 39
    sm*t cl*de says:

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist:

    Jeet Heer @ HeerJeet
    If I were her attorney, I’d use this to argue this is a political arrest.

    Normally this would be a decisive argument for throwing the extradition request out of court… but now people know that the President’s most solemn statements are just meaningless garbage that fall out of his face-hole when it’s open, and have no legal significance.

  40. 40
    Mnemosyne says:

    @sm*t cl*de:

    IANAL, but I’m pretty sure it’s a Canadian judge who is going to decide whether or not she can be extradited to the US. A Canadian judge may not be as willing to give Trump a pass as an American judge would be.

  41. 41

    That is probably the cover letter I wrote after Rick “MEDICARE FRAUD” Scott won another goddamned election this time for Senator, the third time a majority of my neighbors willfully ignored the fact that Scott IS A GODDAMNED MEDICARE FRAUD.

  42. 42
    J R in WV says:

    @Ruckus:

    Our dentist provides a permanent reattachment service for crowns. I don’t recall if he replaces actual crowns that don’t work out, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he did, and would be surprised if he didn’t. He seems to be in business to help people as well as to make a good living. His practice includes his brother and one of their sons, I forget which kid he is.

    Wife has a tricky crown that comes off every few years, and Stew patiently reglues it.

    While in NYC last month I had a molar collapse, will get a crown next 26th, glad it doesn’t hurt or irritate things any. Hope I don’t wear a temp very long, they usually are irritating in some way or another.

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