WE DON’T EVEN WORRY ABOUT HURRICANES WHEN THEY ARE THIS FAR AWAY
We seriously live in the stupidest of times:
Defense Secretary James Mattis is expected to sign deployment orders as soon as Thursday that could send 800 or more troops to the border with Mexico to help border patrol authorities stop a caravan of migrants from Central America moving through Mexico to enter the US, according to three administration officials.
The officials tell CNN final details are being worked out including where the troops will come from and their specific tasks.
Several administration officials say it is anticipated that the Pentagon will pay for the bulk of the mission by using active duty troops. It’s not yet clear if the Department of Homeland Security will reimburse the Pentagon.
The migrant caravan is approximately 5000 people “strong,” the vast majority of whom are either children or elderly, women, pregnant, in wheelchairs, and in various stages of poor health. They are moving at approximately 20 miles per day, which means they ARE MONTHS AWAY from being anywhere near the US border. Jesus tapdancing christ they are months away from the US embassy in fucking Mexico City. They are also unarmed and far more harmless than your garden variety tailgate of several thousand drunkards ON EVERY COLLEGE CAMPUS IN AMERICA.
To further illustrate how harmless this caravan is, it is currently not even moving, as it has been halted. Why has it been halted, you ask? BECAUSE ONE OF THEM FELL FROM AN OVERCROWDED TRUCK AND DIED.
This is not, as our idiot administration might want you to believe, the mongol horde. This is not the invasion of Normandy. This isn’t the Cuban boatlift, which we survived just fine. This isn’t even Black Friday at fucking walmart with tv’s on sale. They are no threat, they are nowhere near us, and even if, in the next six months they hobble within 50 miles of our border, we have laws and enforcement personnel a plenty to deal with them. But wait, it gets dumber:
The troops will not engage in lethal operations to stop the migrants. Instead they are expected to provide fencing, wall materials and other technical support at several key points along the border where it is believed the migrants may try to cross.
Fencing material. Say it again. Fencing materials. And not, one might presume given the general level of idiocy at play here, foils and épées. They’re acting like these guys are coming with bangalore torpedoes and obstacle breaching equipment. They aren’t in fucking siege towers.
But that’s not going to stop Team Bigoted Stupids at the White House from completely blowing a gasket and yanking a fucking batallion of poor bastards away from their training schedule, their scheduled leave, and their normal duties to post them to deal with this nonexistent threat. Speaking of which, where precisely are they going to post them? We have no idea where this caravan is going to end up on the border, AS IT IS CURRENTLY 1000 MILES AWAY IN MEXICO. Are we just going to put up a picket every 200 miles on the border with a company? You know what is also 1000 miles away? MEXICO’S BORDER WITH GUATEMALA.
In the history of political stunts, this is by far the dumbest, and will probably be the most expensive. Right now every officer in an S1-S4 nationwide is getting shitfaced hoping their unit is not tagged because trust me they do not want to deal with redoing the schedule, supply, securing transportation, housing, etc.
And this does not even NEED a military response. Jumping jesus on a pogo stick if you really want to stop a caravan of refugees that have walked for months, put up a fucking buffet table, some porta potties, and some showers. If you absolutely need a show of force take some chronically broken lemon of a Bradley off some poor CEO’s books, and have an 88 tow it to wherever these guys eventually show up if they actually show up. Put some MILES gear on it so it can go bang.
This is the dumbest most racist fucking country on the planet. I can’t even.
Frank McCormick
Thanks John! As I said when I reposted this article to Facebook — the voice of reason says FUCK a lot these days!
dmsilev
So, basically we haven’t learned a damn thing since that time Pershing was sent to ‘secure’ the border with Mexico a century and change ago.
Ladyraxterinok
Love! Love! Love! — buffet, porta potties, showers! What a truly fantastic universe that would be,. Or just humane Americans in charge!
A Ghost To Most
Facts don’t matter to fascists. Only power matters.
Adam L Silverman
They’ll post them at Bliss, which is the closest base to the border in Texas.
Jeffro
“The troops will not engage in lethal operations to stop the migrants”
Well, gee, that’s reassuring…talk about defining deviancy down…or perhaps it is the soft bigotry of low expectations…one would hope that American troops would not open fire on immigrants seeking to come to this land of opportunity we’re all so proud of.
Mike in NC
Trump will ride the Terrorist Caravan for all it’s worth for the next two weeks. He will appear on the border as Rambo, stripped to the waist (the horror!!!) with his red polyester necktie wrapped around his noggin. Instead of an M-60 he’ll be holding a triple cheeseburger.
stinger
Thank you, John Cole.
Yutsano
@Adam L Silverman: Welp. That will certainly cause some 4 and outs.
Adam L Silverman
Also, I expect they’ll pull the troops from whatever brigade combat team is allocated to NORTHCOM this year as the ready brigade. I’m not sure if that’s from 3rd Infantry Division or 4th Infantry Division this year as they seem to rotate back and forth every 24 months or so.
Mike in NC
Also bank on Fat Bastard’s supporters cheering him on to have A-10s strafe the caravan of poor Central Americans.
Adam L Silverman
@Yutsano: Though I think Army North has an intel brigade stashed somewhere in the Texas hill country. Also, the US Army Intelligence Center of Excellence (that’s not supposed to be ironic!!!) is at Ft. Huachuca in Arizona. I don’t think there’s much of anything closer except some National Guard armories.
Gin & Tonic
Nice touch with the accents. This place has got culture.
tobie
John Cole for Secretary of State. In one righteously indignant post, you’ve shown more wisdom than any of the current political appointments at State.
Stupid question–what is an 88 tow?
Ken
So we’re sending the Army to the border to build a fence, ten months before the people get anywhere near the border. Didn’t I see a faster version of this in almost every Roadrunner cartoon? The Coyote builds some elaborate and expensive trap in the Roadrunner’s path, and the Roadrunner just goes around it.
(Usually the Coyote then ends up in the trap, but I assume the Army won’t accidentally build the fence around themselves.)
??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ??
So I guess sending active duty soldiers to the US-Mexican border so long as they aren’t doing any domestic law enforcement is okay and doesn’t violate posse comitatus?
This is so obviously a publicity stunt before the midterms.
Yutsano
@Adam L Silverman: You’re right, although Yuma isn’t too far from the border. I will say that using a Marine base for an Army mission is going to get awkward.
Citizen_X
@Ladyraxterinok: Pancho Villa–with whom Pershing met–was at least actively raiding the border at the time, so that threat was 1000 miles closer than this “threat” is.
Adam L Silverman
@Yutsano: I’m sure the Marines will be happy to get the Soldiers up every AM for PT.
noncarborundum
@tobie
I presume an 88 is an M88 military recovery vehicle. Tow is a verb.
Ian G.
On the note of the ridiculous hysteria about the southern border, I checked the other day to see if the Boquillas Port of Entry is still open, and yes it is. For those who don’t know, it’s a border crossing in the remote Chihuahuan Desert of West Texas between Big Bend National Park and the tiny town of Boquillas del Carmen, Mexico. You ride a rowboat back and forth, or apparently can even wade across the Rio Grande if the water level is low enough. The checkpoint on the US side isn’t even staffed with DHS people, apparently the NPS handles it, probably because few people cross except for a few American tourists visiting Big Bend who want to venture for the day into Mexico, and a few Mexican nationals who want to buy goods at the general store in Big Bend.
If there was any real concern about the border on the part of Shitgibbon’s administration, they could easily close this port of entry (indeed, W did for a time after 9/11). Even if Shitgibbon himself doesn’t know it exists, I’m sure ICE does. No, the border “crisis” means nothing beyond its use to stir up hysteria among the terrified old white people who make up the Shitgibbon cult and have no idea how any of this works.
Yutsano
@??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ??: It’s not an action against American citizens so no Posse Comitatus worries. But it’s also a waste of military budget and personnel. Not that it would stop Dolt45 in any fashion. After all, deficits only matter when Democrats are in charge.
Citzen_X
Great, I’m in moderation. And what mysterious violation got me into that state?
Yutsano
@Adam L Silverman: I giggled at this, I did.
Mary G
They could hire some of the immigrants already hanging around the border to put up fences and they would be cheaper and probably better made, no offense to homeowning troops who know their way around a fence. I am sure the spouses and children of all the soldiers who will have to forgo Thanksgiving/Christmas/New Year’s etc. and football watching with Mommy or Daddy are thrilled to bits about it.
And the caravan is a political statement directed at the governments of Guatemala, Honduras, and Mexico, and relief groups and happens all the time. The closest they ever get to America is Mexico City.
??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ??
If I was God-Emperor of Humanity I would ban newspapers like the FTFNYT from printing headlines like this:
“A Blue Wave Hits Obstacles In Run To Shore”
It’s so cliched, hackneyed, and tortured.
USA Today wasn’t much better:
“Democrats Split Over Medicare For All Plan”
They have to create divisions to help Republicans maintain control.
NotMax
Mooslims have caravans, ‘murkins have convoys. //
I says, “Pig Pen, from here on it’s wall-to-wall bears.”
(Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb,)
Says, “Bash the Wall; we gonna see.”
(Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb.)
Well, them big red bears must’a been in the bush
(Dumb, dumb, dumb. This is)
‘Cause we didn’t see a one all day
(Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb,)
So we raked up the leaves and we shook out the tree
(Dumb, dumb, dumb. This is)
‘Til they finally had something to say
(Dumb, dumb, dumb.)
C. W. McCall, “‘Round The World With Rubber Duck”
Adam L Silverman
@Yutsano: It’s funny because it’s true.
Adam L Silverman
@??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ??:
That’s not very mannerly.
Marcopolo
So apparently Rethuglicans want to talk about Dem mobs & a caravan a thousand miles away while the Democrats want to talk about healthcare. I will take that conversation/battle any day.
In the meantime, we hit another FEC financial reporting period and according to the DKos Elections twitter feed(if you want to see more #’s just click on James Lambert’s personal feed), in the time period between 10/1-10/17, a number of Democrats running for the House raised amounts that were higher than the Q3 totals from 2016.
In the Senate Heidi Heitkamp raised $12.4 million dollars (7.5 in small donations)! Joe Manchin raised….$300,000.
I think we can rest assured that the vast majority of Democratic candidates will be well-funded for the sprint to the finish.
Now we just need to get folks to head to the polls. So reposting this from earlier, here is an app called Vote With Me that looks at your phone contact list, identifies folks you know who live in battleground areas, and helps you to make a personal appeal to them to vote.
And everyone have a good night.
Celebrity Bowling
“This is the dumbest most racist fucking country on the planet. I can’t even.”
Yes, it is. And growing more openly racist every fucking day with Herr Groppenführer.
Amir Khalid
@Adam L Silverman:
… Or very hygienic, either.
Mary G
FOR FUCK’S SAKE, YOU TERRIBLE APPROXIMATION OF A HUMAN BEING:
Trump has a plan to ban all asylum requests at U.S.-Mexico border
President Trump is considering taking executive action to bar migrants, including asylum seekers, from entering the country at the southern border, according to people familiar with the plan. The effort would be the starkest indication yet of Mr. Trump’s election-season push to play to his anti-immigrant base as his party fights to keep control of Congress. …
The plan appeared meant as much to generate headlines to appeal to his anti-immigrant base and fuel outrage among Democrats and immigrant advocates — including legal challenges that administration officials are fully anticipating — as it was to have a practical effect on immigration. The caravan is more than 1,000 miles south of the border, and it is unclear when or whether the migrants will arrive, and how many will seek to cross into the United States.
That’s from NY Mag quoting the FTFNYT, if you want to look for it. I will say that Ed Kilgore over there is keeping me sane:
Follow the money, indeed.
Steve in the ATL
And let us not forget that most of the horrors these people are fleeing in Central America were caused by…the USA.
El Caganer
This has nothing to do with immigration or border security or aliens from Uranus or whatever. It’s just another stunt to get the mouth-breathers all het up before the election. And sure enough, Our Liberal Media will breathlessly provide a play-by-play in this exercise of nothing.
Mary G
People voting in Texas for a straight party ticket are finding that the machine somehow is changing votes from Democrats to Republicans:
An honest mistake, to be sure.
??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ??
@Mary G:
Um…isn’t the US required by international law to accept asylum seekers?
Steve in the ATL
@??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ??: and who do you presume is able to enforce that law if we don’t comply?
We, as a nation under republican rule, are assholes.
NotMax
BTW, as you mention hurricanes, folks might want to pony up some shekels to the charity of their choice after Typhoon Yutu smashed through Saipan (and elsewhere).
As usual, will suggest Operation USA.
For all intents and purposes, if it wasn’t concrete it was damaged or destroyed.
Aleta
My ad says Blunder #9.
Anyway, I don’t understand why every single news report uses the same word, caravan. As though it’s the official word.
Are they trying to conjure a horde of gypsies (tramps and thieves)?
??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ??
@Steve in the ATL:
The international community?
And you might want to change “republican” to GOP. The R’s aren’t republican in the least. They’re neo-reationary authoritarians.
Vhh
I think Geraldo Rivera should be sent to S Mexico for the next few months to give breathlessly emotional day by day coverage to the dwindling (down to 3000) stream of mothers, infants and sick and crippled old people as they limp across Mexico. Remember his special on Capone’secret vault (full of rotting paper and dust)?
Adam L Silverman
@Mary G: Violates US law. Not a ratified treaty obligation, which it also does, but a clearly written US statute.
Steve in the ATL
@NotMax: I assume the free market will resolve this issue, and in the most efficient way possible
Adam L Silverman
@Mary G: If that’s where the GOP is dumping their money, then the internal polling must be terrible.
Adam L Silverman
@??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ??: Actually it is required to do so by US law. 18 USC 1158.
Steve in the ATL
@??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ??: don’t blame me that my phone chooses not to capitalize the name of that shitty political party!
And what is the international community going to do? Send us a strongly worded letter? The only way to make this maladministration do anything would be to invade us, which ain’t going to happen, or spend a bunch of money at a trump resort.
And my phone chooses not to capitalize trump either. Good phone—have a biscuit.
Steve in the ATL
@Adam L Silverman: and who’s going to force the idiots running the executive branch to follow the law—the Taney/Roberts Court? Lol!
Raoul
You go to political war with the whipped up, frothy crisis you have, not the actual threat you might ‘hope’ for.
The 800 troops are theater. We’ll know this when, a week after the election, I bet 500 of them get sent home with Mattis saying ‘the horde won’t get here for months’, and the other 300 dwindle away over the following several weeks.
Meanwhile, the next 11 days are going to be obscene. Shitlords like Gingrich will make sure of that.
(And I have some sort of ongoing lockout problem with Twitter so I’m discovering how badly addicted I’ve been. As someone in long term AA, I don’t toss that would out casually. I’m in pins and needles waiting to see if they let me back in after some sort of tech glitch has apparently made them think I’m a bot. It’s kind of ugly, this realization that I have a dopamine fix that needs feeding so dang often.).
Mnemosyne
Meanwhile, John Kelly’s side piece is going on Fox News to fearmonger about refugees while pretending that the Department of Homeland Security has no responsibility to investigate MOTHERFUCKING PIPE BOMBS BEING MAILED TO DEMOCRATS.
Hot tip, Kiersten — I guarantee you that the person or people mailing out those PIPE BOMBS is a fuckton closer to the United States than that caravan. In fact, I’m pretty sure the pipe bomber is actually INSIDE THE UNITED STATES.
Maybe you can devote one or two resources to actual fucking DOMESTIC TERRORISM, you incompetent fuckwad.
Steve in the ATL
@Raoul: have you taken the Turing test?
Mary G
@Adam L Silverman: The president don’t need to obey any stinking laws, where have you been for two years?
NotMax
@Adam L. Silverman
Ah, settled law.
Raoul
@Marcopolo: This is a small bit of brightness in the parade of terrible. “Indicted GOP Rep. Chris Collins reported raising a grand total of $1,754 from Oct. 1-17:”
“That is One Thousand Seven Hundred and Four Dollars,” says James Lambert, with detectable savoring.
Aleta
final details are being worked out
Like which T donors will be rewarded with contracts for local services and supplies?
??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ??
@Steve in the ATL:
They could try sanctions. Anyway, as Adam said, his executive order would clearly violate clear established American law.
Ksmiami
Anyone who is a Republican at this point is a mortal threat to America. That is where we are.
Mai Naem mobile
I’ll bet all those American companies sending goods from the maquiladoras in Mexico are going to be thrilled by the delays. Or the Mexican produce. But,hey, keep on killing the brown people.
What concerns me here is that we are paying attention to this garbage like we were to Gary Condit and his affair with his intern right before 9/11 happened.
frosty
@Raoul: Thanks for the reminder to never get on Twitter. Other than Cole’s feed on the side here. I have a bad enough addiction trying to read every comment on this blog (thanks jackals, for being so damn knowledgeable, erudite, and interesting, you bastards!).*
* not you, Steve in the ATL**
** oh heck, even you sometimes
NotMax
FYI.
??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ??
@Steve in the ATL:
We could. When we (hopefully) control the House, we could hold funding hostage that the Trump admin needs.
Adam L Silverman
@Steve in the ATL: I enthusiastically welcome our new Canadian overlords who beneficently bring us single payer healthcare, Tim Horton’s donuts, and maple syrup!
Adam L Silverman
@Steve in the ATL: You been hanging out with Tenguphule recently?
Raoul
@Steve in the ATL: Hah, no. But my Project Fi phone is failing the twitter test. Some sort of incompatibility is causing twitter’s robocall, that is supposed to read me a verbal access code, to not be able to ring thru. And since I might be a ‘bot’ I can’t get a text message or an email.
I’ve had two 30+ min convos with google fi helpdesk folks. No avail on getting the calls to not get dumped in 1 second or less.
Yesterday, on first occurrence, twitter fixed in an hour based on an email from me. Tonight we’re at 6+ hours (but I’m not counting. No really, I can quit any time. I’m fine, I just need to twe… [breathes into paper bag]).
Adam L Silverman
@Mary G: Right here digging everyone’s comments out of moderation.
Adam L Silverman
@Raoul: Wait until it turns out he did it based on insider trading.
Steve in the ATL
@Adam L Silverman: I suppose that invading us is the only way Canada is getting the Stanley Cup back.
Zing, eh?
@frosty: lol—will update my LinkedIn profile forthwith!
@??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ??: yup. Without that, we have very little leverage. Which is why our country is collapsing.
Steve in the ATL
@Adam L Silverman: you’ve never seen us in the same place at the same time, have you?
??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ??
@Adam L Silverman:
Thanks
NotMax
@Adam L. Silverman
Who knew that witchcraft is still on the books as a chargeable crime in Canada?
Steve in the ATL
@NotMax: so…advertising and marketing are illegal in Canada?
dmsilev
@NotMax: I note that the offense pertains to “fraudulently portray themselves…”, meaning that someone who is actually a seer, enchanter, etc., would be fine. One presumes that the local police have ways of testing this, likely involving a duck and a large balance scale.
NotMax
In other news, there’s less of Hawaii today than last month.
Adam L Silverman
@Steve in the ATL: No. I’ve also never seen you and any other random person together either.
??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ??
@Steve in the ATL:
Well… he hasn’t been seen recently and you have…
NotMax
@dmsilev
As it’s Canada, one would suspect not a duck but rather a loon.
;)
randy khan
@Mary G:
I think the NY Magazine piece is wrong about something – in a wave election, the party that’s going to be hit by the wave gives up on a lot of districts that normally would be competitive, and shifts money to protecting people who usually are safe and are now in competitive races. So a shift to lean-R and likely-R districts is exactly what you’d expect if the RCCC is rational.
Adam L Silverman
@NotMax: Sounds more like a fraud prosecution, but I’ll defer to Steve in the ATL now doing business as Tenguphule for the formal legal analysis.
dmsilev
@NotMax: The judges would have also accepted ‘Canada goose’.
Adam L Silverman
@??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ??: While I fully support the legislation, I had nothing to do with it.
Aleta
expected to provide fencing, wall materials and other technical support at several key points along the border where it is believed the migrants may try to cross.
Call it the wall. Promises kept, labor nearly free, money saved and pocketed. Call it government by world class businessman.
Adam L Silverman
I’m racking out, catch everyone on the flip.
ljt
Weird observation…I have been watching replays of Andrew Gillum’s debate last night and just noticed something very strange. On the first clips I watched (including the links here), his tie is clearly purple, which I thought interesting. Now, watching clips on YouTube, from CNN and NBC, his tie appears to be blue. WTF is that about? In all versions DeSantis’ s tie is red. On YouTube, if you search for the debate, the TIME link shows image w/purple tie, but CNN and MSNBC link images clearly show him with blue tie. Why in the world would they intentionally add, in such a fucking trivial way, to the charge of fake news?
I don’t recognize or even know how to live in the f*cked-up wonderland we now live in.
Mary G
@NotMax: I am absolutely stunned that Pompeo did something that good. Seeing that poor man forced to shake hands with MBS after his father’s murder (and where the fuck is the body, why can’t they find it and give it a decent burial?) was disgusting.
Raoul
@randy khan: But is it the count of Lean-R and Likely-R districts that’s shifted? In a more typical election year, I think quite a few of the seats Cook or Sabato are calling less than Safe-R would otherwise be Safe-R.
Raoul
@ljt: Purple is a really difficult color for TV to render correctly, from what I’ve seen. Maybe that’s a factor? Certainly there’ve been times that my alma mater TCU looks more indigo than HEX #4D1979 (aka Royal purple, aka RGB 77 25 121).
NotMax
@Raoul
Also real easy on TV for some blues, especially bluish grays, to be perceived as purple dependent on the color registration settings on any camera and any monitor, and every piece of equipment in between.
Elaine Benis
Preach.
I live on the west coast of MX not far from where hurricane Willa recently came ashore. Which is approximately the same distance from the caravan as Seattle is to LA. While checking social media for storm updates, I came across 100’s of “God’s will that he smites these caravaners with a hurricane! Wipe em all out! Praise Jesus!” posts.
Pure evil, proudly wrapped up in stupidity and ignorance. So disheartening.
Ken
@??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ??:
Golf course cart rental fees, for example.
low-tech cyclist
Playing around with Google Maps, the shortest distance by road from Mapastepec to Brownsville, TX, was 1,678 km, or 1,040 miles.
At 20 miles a day, they’d need 52 days to get to the border. They might make it by Christmas!
Would that count as part of the War On Christmas?
bjacques
@Mary G: Karen Handel’s the one I really want to see go down in flames, for her Susan G. Komen For The Cure shenanigans. She must have cloned a Dutch version of herself to run the gold-plated charity here, because the local head operated out of the same playbook after a local writer called her out on her organization’s uselessness.
If that “caravan” were a hurricane, you could still buy flood insurance in Texas.
low-tech cyclist
@bjacques:
Also, there’s the way they sued anyone else using the phrase “for the cure” to raise money for a charitable cause. (Hypothetical example) “Alaskan Sled Dogs for the Cure” raising money for cystic fibrosis research? How dare they! Sue their asses!
Still, if I had to pick one 2018 candidate to go down in flames, it would be Kris Kobach. He’s more vile than Scott Walker, who in turn is more vile than Ted Cruz. And we know how abominable Ted Cruz is; in a saner country, he’d be an outlier. Not to mention, Kansas really can’t take another four years of Republican governance.
sherparick
Thank you John Cole, you have provided more facts and context about this story then NPR, the FYFNYT, and Washington Post combined. I have not mentioned Fox News because that place is a fact free zone. The national so-called main stream media who have simply covered this story in the “fact free” style of “theater criticism” political journalism on how well Trump uses these poor people to play it up with the rubes.
John Fremont
@Yutsano: A Marine Corps Air Station that is shared with a commercial airport
Randy Legault
No major news agencies embedding journalists, I notice.
Quaker in a Basement
Here’s a question that is, apparently, OT because no one seems to be talking about it: WTF is happening in Honduras that sends thousands of people migrating on foot? Is there anything we could do about that?
Quaker in a Basement
@Randy Legault: Right you are. That’s malpractice.