Humptulips, Washington. We cross the Humptulips river (several tomes, one of those crooked types) on our way to our Labor Day resirt. A fruend did his Nasters research there on Sitka Spruce weevils. Don’t do that! Impenetrable forest, 90 inches of rain, sharpest needles. A committee tried to get this and all other “obscene” place names changed. Got ignored thankfully. Resulted in a fertile environment for Dan Savage.
10.
dmsilev
@JPL: Apparently, William Penn had issues. Who knew?
11.
Jerzy Russian
@JPL: The places I mentioned are in Amish country. I have not heard of Blue Ball, but chances are it is also in Amish country.
12.
hoosierspud
Humptulips, WA.
13.
Adam L Silverman
@Juju: Just outside of Conway. I used to live there. Had a toad suck festival every year.
Intercourse and Blue Ball are often listed among the “delightfully-named towns” in Pennsylvania Dutchland, alongside Mount Joy, Lititz, Bareville, Bird-in-Hand, and Paradise.[6][7][8][9][10]
15.
Juju
I think the Toad Suck or Toadsuck, I can’t remember which way it was spelled, lock and dam is in or near Toad Suck or Toadsuck, Arkansas, the town with the same name.
16.
Dan B
@Dan B: Typing on phone… need nap. “freund did his Nasters” sounds suitably Freudian though.
17.
Gravenstone
Podunk was the former name of the small town in Ohio near where I grew up. And of course there’s a Hicksville about 40 minutes south.
18.
suezboo
Aw, there’s some good non-suggestive ones right here. Onomatopoeia : Lusikisiki (the sound of the wind through the reeds); Ixopo (the sound of a cow pulling her hoof out of mud), you should know the sound “x” in Xhosa denotes a click. Hotazel. (English). Reivilo. Backstory : The retiring dominee of the parish told the townsfolk he did not want the honour of the town being renamed after him. They conceded to Ds Olivier’s wishes.
So many good stories about place names in all of the cultures.
19.
Juju
@Adam L Silverman: well it doesn’t count unless you have your picture taken next to the lock and dam.
No Name, Colorado. Located next to No Name Creek, which runs through No Name Canyon. As an exercise for the students, the Alferd Packer Grill in the student center at the University of Colorado at Boulder.
25.
raven
Bogart
Between
Travelers Rest
26.
Juju
I live near a town named Conetoe, and it’s not pronounced the way you’d think it would be.
27.
Keith P.
“Trump Tower apartment”
28.
Wapiti
At Yakima Firing Center (WA) there was a low conical hill labeled on the maps as Squaw Tit. Cringe-worthy. I blame the overactive imaginations of our early settlers. That was in the 80s, so I’ve no idea if the name was eventually changed.
29.
WaterGirl
In eighth grade I went on vacation with a friend’s family and I was absolutely thrilled that our little cottage was on Dud Road. I am surely dating myself, but dud was a big word back then..
I live near a town named Conetoe, and it’s not pronounced the way you’d think it would be.
“Throat Wobbler Mangrove”?
31.
CaseyL
I am very deeply fond of a town on the Olympic Peninsula (Washington State) called Humptulips.
It’s a Native American word whose meaning has nothing to do with botanical assault, but I always picture a lunatic Dutchman going at it amongst the flowers (Dutchman because of the tulip financial madness there back in the 17th Century).
ETA: I see Dan B beat me to it!
32.
M31
oh man, Keith, that is gross, come on, this is a family website
:-)
33.
raven
@Wapiti: We used to drag our obsolete Honest John’s over there a fire em once a year!
The Grand Tetons in Wyoming, which is just French for “Big Tits”.
36.
Another Scott
Nobody’s mentioned French Lick, IN?
I always liked Jumbo, OH. Out in farm country, a cross-roads, just a couple of stop signs (maybe a light?). A tiny trailer park. That’s it (or at least that’s all that was there in the 1980s). Maybe 50 people, if that.
Cheers,
Scott.
37.
worn
In the first DeLorme gazetteer for Oregon I bought back in the early 90’s had Whiskey Dick on the map. I believe it has been omitted in the more recent publications.
French Lick has already been mentioned, but also in southern Indiana there is Gnawbone which is not very far from Bean Blossom.
44.
JPL
OT. I live in a small neighborhood with thirty five houses and two streets. One neighbor lets his dog out unleashed who approaches aggressively. For years I’ve had a young man walk my dog at first with me walking along. Anyway the last couple of years he was allowed to walk Finch alone but only a several hundred feet because one asshole has been letting his dog roam unleashed. Anyway I taught my young friend to drop the leash and let the dogs take care of it. Today was the test. Finch was a street dog and the walker did as told. Finch was like whatever sniff whatever I’m just lying here and the walker backed off. My neighbor was backing out of her driveway and saw the happening and went down and opened her car door so Finch could jump in. The owners say the dog only barks aggressively but we do have a leash law.
This is my question do I write a note to the owner and say fix it. If I write a note I would identify myself. The other option is asking for more patrols and citations. The second option is possible because……………. Poor guy who was walking Finch never realized how small of a dog he was.
45.
thruppence
When my ex and I were buying a house in the Santa Cruz mountains, we had to look at many geological maps to see possible earthquake risks. My favorite was the Not My Fault.
Paris, Kentucky
Peru, Indiana
London, Kentucky
London, Indiana
I-don’t-know-what – themthere plices.
Anybody who’s been to any of them (I’ve been everywhere, man) knows what am talking bout.
“Corinth”
“Memphis”
“Columbia”
f**king, really, man..?
“Zeus is our governor and, he’s hung like a tripod”
It’s all over the place but it’s always best in some hillbilly paradise that really is a Sh1thole.
52.
opiejeanne
Grand Teton. Big Tit or Big Teat or Big Nipple.
Disputed.
53.
WaterGirl
OT – I am looking for a good way to find British shows beyond what is carried on the regular BBC channel. Has anyone tried Brtibox? I have Apple TV, gen 4, which the google says is required.
54.
The Lodger
@Another Scott: Reminds me of Micro, NC. Somewhere in my stack of vacation photos is a picture of the Micro Mini Mart.
More juvenile than smutty, but there’s Booger Hollow up in north Georgia. Because of course there is.
67.
hilts
WTF?
Far-right men’s organization “Proud Boys” violently beat two or three apparent protesters Friday night following a Republican event in Manhattan.
About 30 members of the group, which is characterized by the Southern Poverty Law Center as a hate group and extremist group, participated in the beating, some screaming threats and slurs at the individuals, according to video and an eyewitness account.
Despite New York Police Department officers being present at the time of the attack, none of the Proud Boys were arrested for the beatdown…
The beating followed an event at the Metropolitan Republican Club, in which Proud Boys founder Gavin McInnes reenacted the samurai sword assassination of Japanese socialist leader Inejiro Asanuma, which McInnes called an “inspiring moment.”..
On Saturday, New York Public Advocate Letitia James called on the NYPD to arrest all the Proud Boys involved in the beating…
New York City Council Speaker Corey Johnson also called on the police department to thoroughly investigate the incident…
I don’t think the judging was impartial and also prior to women having a voice (instead of a frog in their throat).
69.
SiubhanDuinne
There is a Bucksnort, Tennessee.
70.
A Ghost To Most
@JCJ: I was in the service with Crazy Dave from French Lick. He was always raving about this ugly kid who was a wizard at basketball. Turned out he was talking about Larry Bird.
71.
JR
Not so much the name of the place, but how they decorate:
That sounds like the utter low point in anyone’s life….
Maybe it’s me but…..
My CV will never connect carnal and biblical bliss with Georgia.
And, I was born there.
73.
JPL
At comment 42 I wrote about an aggressive dog.. Do I write a note or just call in favors and take care of the problem? My concern is if I write the note and then call in the favor they know who I am. The folks own lots of land in my area.
74.
WaterGirl
@hilts: I don’t know who Tom Watson is, but Cole had Tom Watson retweeting the Southern Poverty Law Center saying:
This vicious gang attack originated at the campaign headquarters of the Republican candidate for New York State Governor.
Japan does this, too. It almost single…handedly revitalized the timber industry in Washington and British ….Columbia.
76.
cmorenc
There’s a prominent rock formation on the Colorado River called “Indian Dick“ – which indeed does indeed resemble an erect penis. It’s at mile 23 downstream from the Lee’s Ferry boat put-in for rafting trips down the Grand Canyon. On our trip we took several years ago, from out first night’s campsite we a very similar view of it as in the linked photo, but from a little farther away. The “Indian Dick” rock formation is pretty much inaccessible except to folks on the week+ long float trip from Lee’s Ferry through the Grand Canyon.
77.
germy
@JPL: If they’re the sort to let an aggressive dog wander the neighborhood unleashed, chances are they’re assholes. They’ll be displeased with your note, no matter how polite it is.
Not a hill to die on, in my opinion.
78.
WaterGirl
@JPL: If you’re willing for them to know who you are, my strong advice is to talk to them in person. if you don’t want to do that, I suggest you call in your favor without identifying yourself to the neighbors.
After Kavanaugh, my “entitled prick” radar is pretty sensitive.
Personally, after Kavanaugh I wouldn’t have the personal energy to potentially deal with anyone like that in person. So I’m kind of in agreement with germy.
There’s a prominent rock formation along the Colorado River in Marble Canyon called “Indian Dick” (it’s formal name on USGS maps, not a nickname) which does, indeed strikingly resemble an erect penis. It’s 23 miles downstream from the Grand Canyon rafting put-in at Lee’s Ferry, and only accessible to view if you’re on a rafting trip down the canyon. But it’s such a river landmark that should you undertake the thrill of a week+ rafting trip down the Grand Canyon, it’s a guaranteed bet your guides will point it out to you – it was prominently visible from our first-night campsite on the trip we took several years ago. Absolutely wonderful trip.
That sounds like the utter low point in anyone’s life….
Out of context, I guess it does!
But I never think, or say, or even mentally register that I am going to be “in Cumming.” Rather, I am going to the library (which just happens to be located in Cumming).
84.
JPL
@germy: My neighbor called and said take option number two and gave me times when the dog was roaming. Today was the first time that he actually ran at Nate and Finch. I have no idea what would have happened if a neighbor wasn’t backing out and saw what was happening and got Finch and if the boy walking the dog hadn’t dropped the leash. Odd the folks are involved in Atlanta politics and not here, and have registered their land as religious retreats. lol I imagine they like Kemp.
85.
Another Scott
I haven’t seen this mentioned yet, but if it’s been here, apologies.
DHS Says It’s Finally Hiring More Border Agents Than It’s Losing
By Eric Katz October 12, 2018 13 Comments
Since nearly his first day in office, President Trump’s administration has said it will dramatically boost the number of agents at the nation’s borders. There was a holdup, however: the Homeland Security Department has been failing for years to bring on more Border Patrol agents than it lost, a trend that has continued into Trump’s presidency.
The tides are finally turning, according to DHS Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen.
“The good news is for the first time in many, many, many years we are hiring [agents] at a rate that is outpacing the rate at which we are losing [them,]” Nielsen told the Senate Homeland Security and Governmental Affairs Committee this week.
Shortly after taking office, Trump signed an executive order mandating Customs and Border Protection hire 5,000 additional border agents. CBP quickly began developing a strategy to implement the hiring surge, despite Congress repeatedly declining to fund it. The agency has made improvements in its dozen-step hiring process, leading to faster results. CBP has revised its polygraph tests, though still just 26 percent of potential Border Patrol agents passed the tests last year, according to a recent Government Accountability Office report. It has also made adjustments to its physical testing and has received direct hire authority from the Office of Personnel Management for law enforcement jobs.
In addition, CBP has signed a contract with Accenture worth up to $297 million to help with the recruiting and hiring process, which GAO said “seems promising” but is still too early to definitively assess. Accenture as of August collected $43 million and onboarded around 600 new employees. For two consecutive years, CBP has advised lawmakers in their final appropriations bill to reduce its allocation for personnel by more than $200 million because its payroll costs were set to fall short of its projections.
The agency saw a net decrease in employees in 2017, a trend that has continued in 2018 until now. Border Patrol hired 4 percent more agents last year, but failed to keep pace with the losses sustained at the agency.
DHS could soon receive a boost in its recruiting efforts, as the Senate this week unanimously passed a measure to make it easier for the department to offer bonuses to CBP employees.
The 2017 Customs and Border Protection Hiring and Retention (CBP HiRe) Act (S. 1305) would give CBP the authority to offer recruitment, relocation and retention incentives for law enforcement positions in remote areas that the agency is struggling to fill. CBP could also noncompetitively appoint employees to such positions in which there is a “severe shortage of highly qualified candidates.” The measure would allow the agency to create special rates of pay and offer commuting expenses for law enforcement personnel in “undesirable and hard-to-fill locations.” CBP would be prohibited from sharing the results of polygraph exams with any other federal agency, which lawmakers said would address fears of the application process causing long-term damage to applicants’ careers.
The bill, written by Sen. Jeff Flake, R-Ariz., and cosponsored by Sen. Heidi Heitkamp, D-N.D., has the backing of several federal employee groups, including the National Border Patrol Council, the National Treasury Employees Union and the Federal Law Enforcement Officers Association.
“The CBP HiRe Act is a commonsense, bipartisan solution to the bureaucratic hiring process that has left the border and our ports of entry understaffed,” Flake said. “This bill will give CBP the tools it needs to effectively and efficiently recruit and retain the personnel needed to complete its border security and trade-facilitating missions.”
The measure now heads to the House for a vote. The Congressional Budget Office has estimated the bill would add “insignificant” costs because it already assumed CBP would spend tens of millions of dollars on bonuses by getting special permission from OPM.
They’re throwing lots of money at the department, but it’s barely having any impact on the number of people on the job. It’s not inevitable that DHS and ICE and all the rest can’t be turned around quickly.
Cheers,
Scott.
86.
trollhattan
Dayumn, y’all have some crazy place names.
Translated from Spanish, Manteca and Vacaville, CA are Lard and Cowtown, respectively. Auf English Balls Ferry is located up the Sacramento Valley.
87.
JPL
@WaterGirl: I can’t talk to them in person because of the dog. He really is aggressive but hasn’t bit anyone yet. .
88.
Jager
When you drive from Salem MA into Beverley MA the signs say “Entering Beverley”
89.
Gelfling 545
@JPL: Call the police. Tell them there’srepeated violation of the leash law. If they act they’re probably not going to say who complained. If they don’t act, then you’ll know people who own a lot of land in those parts can do as they please.
90.
trollhattan
@Another Scott:
That sounds like how they churn out all the ethical agents and replace them with Trumpers. Kind of like how the RINOs became extinct.
Had not seen the “call the police” rec. That’s a possibility, too.
Do you have an Animal Control group?
Whatever you do, maybe consider letting the reporting agency know that you have concerns about your neighbors and worry about possible retaliation if they know your name?
Paris, Rome, London, and god knows what other foreign cities are also towns in Ohio. I used to dream of having my own town named Anywhere But Here.
99.
WaterGirl
@Ken Shabby: Peru really gets around — there is a Peru, Illinois, also.
100.
Schlemazel
Late to the party and the town’s by themselves are not blue but here on the tundra
If you take Emily on an Outing you are sure to get to Atkin before you get to Remmer.
101.
SRW1
International contribution: Farting, Austria.
They have enormous trouble hanging on to their place-name signs.
102.
Steeplejack
A little farther out from me in NoVA you have your choice of Backlick Road or Pohick Road.
103.
JPL
@Gelfling 545: Truthfully I’m calling in some favors and taking care of it. It is ridiculous to live in a neighborhood with two streets and not being able to walk because of an asshole dog. I thought about the note but that has obviously not helped in the past.
@Quinerly: Is their general store doing better or worse than the one in Wankers Corner, Oregon?
120.
geg6
It’s not embarrassing like Dildo Key, but I’ve always wondered about the town of Nanty Glo, a backwoods mountain town here in PA. Where did that name come from? I don’t know. I’m pretty sure it was a coal town based on where it is, but the name always intrigued me. Sounds Irish or Welsh to me but I’m clueless.
121.
Ken Shabby
Rome, Georgia
Athens, Georgia
Athens, Ohio
Albany, Georgia
Albany, New York
Sparta, Wisconski
Columbus, Georgia
Columbus, Indiana (HEY! It’s the county seat – AND – local KKK HKyew)
Alexandria…………
Dildo? Steps up and declares itself but, the rest of these candy dates are flying a false flag like a Roberty Lee Dildo at a Trump rally.
122.
Mel
@Kathleen: You got to it first! There’s also the fine hamlet of Blue Ball, Ohio.
123.
JPL
Just answered a poll about Abrams Kemp. Live person and question was how to best describe Kemp and I said asshole. It took a few minutes for the poor guy to say something. . lol
Wikipedia: “The name comes from the Welsh ‘Nant y Glo,’ meaning ‘The Ravine (or Brook) of Coal.'”
126.
juliet tango
Athol MA. I used to do the NOAA weather radio in Boston back when it was real people, not computer generated voices, and I always hated having to read that, with my slight lisp.
127.
OmnesOmnibus
@?BillinGlendaleCA: We all got together and decided not to tell you.
128.
bmoak
Fishs Eddy (yes, that is the correct spelling) in upstate NY. It’s also the name of a popular tableware store near Union Square in Manhattan.
Well. I’d say that town has an outflow problem. If their take in is well below their…fundamental product, they may be doomed to a life of diminished return.
I live in Beaver County, PA. Our county seat is Beaver, PA. There is a Big Beaver, Little Beaver, Beaver Falls, the Beaver River and Beaver Creek here. I’ve heard every beaver joke ever made. And yes, there are lots of beaver here.
“Losing friends? Church threw you out due to bubbles at baptism? In-laws tired of spoilt family gatherings? Crosses exploding whilst burning discretely on lawns? No country club is safe?”
No wonder the place dried up and blew away – the South calls this Southern Treat – and, it’s a summer specialty.
138.
lollipopguild
There is a Pekin Ind. Peekin or Peekan depending on how you pronounce it.
An old cross roads in eastern NC called Phart Junction. It’s basically disappeared.
SBD?
141.
Steve in the ATL
@JPL: short primer on dog bite law in Georgia: every dog gets one free bite, but thereafter is a known biter and the owner is required to take measures to prevent further harm to innocent parties.
For purposes of dog bite only, you are considered innocent….
142.
Aziz, light!
Molly’s Nipple is the name of at least seven geological features in Utah. Several are credited to a single pioneer whose wife, of course, was Molly.
In the Columbia River Gorge is Rooster Rock State Park, site of a prominent spire several hundred feet tall. Its original and more accurate name was “Cock Rock.”
143.
B.B.A.
There’s a town in Austria called Fucking. They keep getting their signs stolen by drunk British tourists.
144.
Steve in the ATL
@SiubhanDuinne: you claim to be older than efgoldman, but some days I swear you are a 12-year old boy!
Cheers,
Scott.
(Who has been to the lumber company, but not to the “city”.)
147.
donnah
There’s Orgas, WV, where someone always spraypaints an “m” at the end of the signs.
148.
B.B.A.
@Another Scott: There’s also SNPJ, Pennsylvania, a borough consisting almost entirely of a country club that seceded from the surrounding township in order to get a liquor license.
And, where is GTFO, Your Town, Nu-nited States, Murka when you need it.
I assed you –
There’s Wyoming, Ohio, which is far far from that place. There’s Coney Island, which flooded every year and wasn’t anywhere near New York City. There’s. – well – there’s Cincinnati, named for the Society of Cincinnatus (o noes, more Greek lit!), a society well ahead of its time, looking to secede from (hand over heart) our Sacred Onion.
As after thought, there’s ….Toledo.
Them sons wasn’t even Close…
155.
OmnesOmnibus
@B.B.A.: I went to college in a city called Appleton. There is a nearby town called Freedom. The
@Ken Shabby: And Upper Sandusky, OH which is, er, south of Sandusky, OH.
Yeah, yeah, Upper is at the headwaters of the Sandusky river, and Sandusky is at the mouth. Still…
Cheers,
Scott.
162.
Denali
Nippletop Mountain in the Adirondacks.
163.
opiejeanne
@WaterGirl: There’s a town in Missouri named Peculiar. My aunt told me we have relatives there, and they are.
164.
Viva BrisVegas
Not to be left out:
Tittybong, Victoria
Humpty Doo, Northern Territory
Yorkey’s Knob, Queensland
Cock Wash, South Australia
Woodie Woodie, Western Australia
The End of the World, Tasmania
Tom Ugly, NSW
And Rolla, Missouri, named after Raleigh, NC. Spelled the way it sounded to them (just like my great grandma Susannah whose headstone reads Susanner; Best guess is great grandpa really never did learn to read and he told the stone-cutter to spell it like it sounds)
173.
??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ??
@Jerzy Russian:
“Let’s a set a course. Intercourse!”
174.
??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ??
@B.B.A.:
I live near there in Ohio and it’s pretty weird. Was looking at Google maps once at my town and there’s names for places I never knew had names. There’s an intersection in a rural area outside the city and it’s called Marquis for some reason on Google Maps. Literally nothing’s there aside from a few buildings.
175.
Just One More Canuck
I live in an area called Vinegar Hill, a couple of miles away from Locust Hill
There is a Bungerly* Hippingstones in the U.K. I have been there. It is famous as the site where Edward IV’s forces captured Henry VI during the Wars of the Roses.
*Alternative spellings include Bungerley and Brungerly.
Potholes state park in WA gets a minor vote. I was told some non locals were looking for po-tho-les. It took a while to understand they were asking about pot-holes. Philomath, OR should get a nerd mention.
183.
Steve in the ATL
@JaySinWA: also Philomath, GA, which gets name checked in the REM song “can’t get there from here”, though the song ironically references going there. Stipe’s lyrics were always inscrutable….
184.
Amir Khalid
There was once a town in Sarawak named Nonok (Malay for “cunt”, but I suspect it meant something much more innocent in the local language.) Still, the all-time champion of unfortunate place names remains the famous Austrian village of Fucking.
185.
Steve in the ATL
@Amir Khalid: “what monstrous country gave the world hitler?”
“Fucking Austria.”
186.
RepubAnon
@Kelly: Perhaps Elon Musk could move his “Boring” company to Boring, Oregon…
You don’t have to take my word for it but….we’ve been on the ground in communities of color for over a year and knocked on more then 3M Hispanic homes before Oct 1st. Familia matters.
Dan Sena added,
Latino Victory Verified account @latinovictoryus
While none of the (real-life) place names mentioned in the song are themselves embarrassing, John Forster’s “Entering Marion” does a good job of creating and maintaining innuendo with them.
195.
J R in WV
Here in WV there are a few odd names, like Odd, WV. Another far out place was / is Igeria, WV… places way out in the country were past Igeria.
Closer to home here, Big Ugly – hard to write headlines for people from there: “Big Ugly Housewife Murdered!” “Big Ugly Man Dies” you see where it’s bad to go here, right?
Hell for Certain Kentucky is a eastern Ky town. There are a lot of odd WV place names, but I’m not going to spend time looking them up by bothering neighbors.
196.
The Lodger
@B.B.A.: Tavistock, NJ did exactly the same thing. It has a population of 7 last time I checked.
As I discovered driving through last week; in SE Oregon they have Crack in the Ground State Recreation Area. I can only hope it is more exciting than it sounds.
I’ve been there! I was trying to remember the funny-named town in MO. That’s it.
202.
Bess
My grandfather had a farm alongside the French Broad.
Manteca was a dairy area that shipped milk and butter to San Francisco daily. The intention was to name the town the Spanish name for butter which would be mantequilla, but ended up with a name that most often means lard. But in some areas manteca means butter.
Pig Turd Alley, Amador City, CA. Left over from the gold rush days.
203.
Ken
@B.B.A.: @The Lodger: If I were the city manager, I’d be tempted to send the backhoes out there the day after the club seceded, and cut it off from the municipal water and sanitation lines.
A couple of people already mentioned Tumptulips, but Washington State also has Walla Walla, which has achieved a certain degree of immortality via its use in Warner Brothers cartoons, and the “Witch Doctor” song: “oo ee oo ah ah ting tang walla walla bing bang”.
205.
That guy
Here in East Minneapolis we have a well-traveled, interstate-ramp-connected, street called Cretin.
If my memory isn’t failing me, Boring OR is a twin city of Dull, Scotland.
In Maine: Poland, China, Norway, Sweden, Denmark, Mexico {there’s a somewhat postcard-famous sign with many of those…}, as well as Paris and Belfast.
In Scotland, both Orkney and Shetland have villages named Twatt.
212.
opiejeanne
@Ken Shabby: You did hit a nerve with your comment about Boone’s Lick. I’m writing a book set during the civil war in the Missouri Ozarks so right now I’m probably far too sober about stuff that is of no consequence, but Boone’s Lick is the name of the town, named after a salt lick and Daniel Boone’s surviving sons. Along the Missouri River, two counties deep both north and south sides was known as the boonslick, esd the seat of most slave plantations in the state. I can bore you with stories that don’t belong here right now, but the one I will repeat is that the Missouri governor who was a Confederate sympathizer, Fox Jackson, and who was removed from office early in the war, he and his buddies conspired to defraud the banks in Missouri by mortgaging non-existant properties in the Boonslick, or undeveloped ones. They did this in order to give monetary support to the Confederacy and the fraud had a devastating effect on the state.
OMIGOD, I have been there. My mom and I drove through (took about three seconds) when I was eight and we still occasionally laugh about it.
222.
Aleta
Fellow’s Balls, Vermont. A nice little town with a railroad and lots of brick buildings. : ) (Vernacular counts, right?)
223.
Starfish
@germy: Coxsackie will always be a virus to me. Apparently, the virus was named after the place where the first specimens of the virus were found.
224.
Aleta
What Cheer in Iowa.
225.
Jackie
@Jay: My 9 and 7 yr olds grandsons LOVE Looney Tunes. We’re in Tri-Cities, WA. They finally recognized ACME Dynamite, Walla Walla. They think Walla Walla is famous ?
226.
Bess
If we want to expand beyond place names, my mother’s ancestors arrived in Philadelphia from Europe on the Pink Johnson.
227.
Litlebritdifrnt
Whenever I am driving up to the lakes Gigglewick and Wiggleswick always make me smile.
@Geoduck: Walla Walla means “place of many waters”.
231.
Bruuuuce
@Steve in the ATL: I have a friend who boasted, a couple of years ago, that she’d finally been to Tucson, Tucumcari, Tehachapi, and Tonopah. She couldn’t help but put a bit of melody into it (but I excused her because she busks professionally)
232.
CapnMubbers
@SiubhanDuinne: My brother’s SoCal property is named Bucksnort Ranch.
233.
OldDave
In the “not pronounced the way you’d think” department – Ponce de Leon, Florida. The locals apparently use an English pronunciation (three words: “Ponce Dee Leon” with a hard E in Leon).
@OldDave: So like Versailles, KY (ver sales) and New Madrid, MO (mad rid or mad drid).
236.
Cowgirl in the Sandi
Back in the day when ‘some’ would smoke a lot of dope, when driving back to St. Louis from college in western Illinois, we would always look forward to Pekin and Rushville – nothing like peaking in Pekin and rushes in Rushville.
237.
CaseyL
More fun Washington State city names:
Sequim which is pronounced Squim.
Puyallup, pronounced Pew-al-up, emphasis on second syllable. When I first moved here, lo those many decades ago, I had some trouble twisting my tongue around the name and was calling the place “pull y’all up.”
Lillewap, which caused years of hilarity between me and my then-partner back in the 1990s. We took a road trip on the Olympic Peninsula, and stopped at Lillewap – a very cute, very tiny town – for a bite to eat in a surprisingly good diner. A week later, coming back the same route, talking about where to have lunch, trying to remember which of the many roadside bistros, pubs and greasy spoons, we’d stopped at, I said “How about that little Italian place we ate at on the way down”? Michael had no idea what I was talking about, and didn’t remember eating any Italian food… until we again passed through Lillewap, at which point he goggled at me, said “Little Italian place?” in a shaky voice, and burst out laughing so hard he had to stop the car.
You have to understand why it was so funny: I am the most PC person you have ever met in your life. I would no more use an ethnic slur, ANY ethnic slur, than I would kick a puppy. But my mind, wrestling with flawed memory and unconscious word association, played a damn dirty trick on me.
238.
Lymie
The place itself is fine, but I am all about spoonerisms. Bellows Falls, VT.
239.
Aleta
I like the town names that have a optimistic idealistic utopian feel. In Maine there are a lot — I can only think of
Harmony
Hope
Freedom
Unity
Amity
Friendship
Liberty
For most of those, I’m not aware of a connection to a utopian community. Like everywhere else there were utopian settlements; and lots of Biblical town names remain.
240.
normal liberal
As usual no one will see this at the end of this thread, but all the same I’m here to recommend a book called Let Us Build Us A City, by Donald Harington, very much apropos to the small to disappeared towns mentioned above.
My favorite names linked with my childhood and teen years growing up in Alabama are Arab (pronounced Long A first syllable gets emphases, rab pronounced like dab.
My mom grew up in Ragland, which was a favorite spot to visit because of my grandfather and oldest aunt, and the cement plant which encrusted EVERYTHING with white cement dust.
And of course my favorite name, Slapout, Alabama, which is north northwest of Montgomery, and west of Wetumpka and Auburn. Somewhere I have a tee shirt proudly announcing I have been to Slapout, Alabama. My wife has relatives there.
242.
Chief Oshkosh
Bugtussle, OK.
243.
tybee
@raven: got a kitten from Bogart back when i was at UGA. don’t remember what we named the critter but it was always referred to as “Bogart”.
there is also a Climax, Georgia.
and Lickskillet, Georgia.
244.
Hildebrand
While neither euphemistic or double entendre(istic), in SE Wisconsin the best named park is Bong Recreation Area.
245.
tybee
two egg, florida
246.
Pete Mack
@Adam L Silverman:
At the tip of Florida’s protuberance hangs Dildo Key
247.
DigitalAmish
Just down the road a couple miles from my humble abode is the intersection of Kitchen Dick and Woodcock roads. (what are the odds this comment goes to moderation?)
@Shana: In Oregon we have Madras, pronounced “Mad russ”. And there did use to be a lot of very funny (to college students anyway) place name signs in the mostly wooded parts of the state. More recently (after we were no longer spending our summers on Forest Service lookouts) the state did a clean-up on these names. Thus rendering a summer in the woods much less enjoyable.
Also, in the category of public initiative, there is a “Do Not Enter” sign downtown in my town — you know, with the white bar across the middle? Someone has written “Fcking” in the white bar.
251.
burnspbesq
250 comments and not a single mention of Weed, CA?
252.
Porlock Junior
Ah, Uranus, the planet that’s pronounced two ways, both dubious.
The magazine Fantasy and Science Fiction, donkey’s years ago, in the Boucher & McComas days, ran a short item apologizing for an error to which a reader drew their attention, in which they had captioned an issue’s cover to the effect that it showed an exploration on Uranus, with Triton (a moon of Neptune, in fact) visible large in the sky. This consisted of an extended limerick, something like,
Much though the confession may pain us,
We admit our behavior’s been heinous.
We vow in the future
To read proofs with due care,
And keep Triton remote from Uranus.
(Though all that’s esthetically pure in ous
Insists that the word should be URanous.)
Adam L Silverman
And it’s right next to Johnson Key. I’m beginning to think the cartographer has certain issues…
WaterGirl
I used to pass Climax, Michigan when I drove to my sister’s house.
Jerzy Russian
Lord knows that any good dildo needs a lock.
There is always Intercourse, PA, Bird in Hand, PA, and Virgin’s Paradise, PA.
dmsilev
There’s Blue Ball, PA.
JPL
OT Raven is not gonna be happy.
Juju
My dad took a picture of me in front of the Toadsuck lock and dam somewhere in Arkansas. That was one of the biggest thrills of my life.
JPL
@dmsilev: @Jerzy Russian: Oh my Florida might not win this one.
MTmofo
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dildo,_Newfoundland_and_Labrador
Dan B
Humptulips, Washington. We cross the Humptulips river (several tomes, one of those crooked types) on our way to our Labor Day resirt. A fruend did his Nasters research there on Sitka Spruce weevils. Don’t do that! Impenetrable forest, 90 inches of rain, sharpest needles. A committee tried to get this and all other “obscene” place names changed. Got ignored thankfully. Resulted in a fertile environment for Dan Savage.
dmsilev
@JPL: Apparently, William Penn had issues. Who knew?
Jerzy Russian
@JPL: The places I mentioned are in Amish country. I have not heard of Blue Ball, but chances are it is also in Amish country.
hoosierspud
Humptulips, WA.
Adam L Silverman
@Juju: Just outside of Conway. I used to live there. Had a toad suck festival every year.
dmsilev
@Jerzy Russian: Wikipedia (because of course):
Juju
I think the Toad Suck or Toadsuck, I can’t remember which way it was spelled, lock and dam is in or near Toad Suck or Toadsuck, Arkansas, the town with the same name.
Dan B
@Dan B: Typing on phone… need nap. “freund did his Nasters” sounds suitably Freudian though.
Gravenstone
Podunk was the former name of the small town in Ohio near where I grew up. And of course there’s a Hicksville about 40 minutes south.
suezboo
Aw, there’s some good non-suggestive ones right here. Onomatopoeia : Lusikisiki (the sound of the wind through the reeds); Ixopo (the sound of a cow pulling her hoof out of mud), you should know the sound “x” in Xhosa denotes a click. Hotazel. (English). Reivilo. Backstory : The retiring dominee of the parish told the townsfolk he did not want the honour of the town being renamed after him. They conceded to Ds Olivier’s wishes.
So many good stories about place names in all of the cultures.
Juju
@Adam L Silverman: well it doesn’t count unless you have your picture taken next to the lock and dam.
Michael P.
Big Bone Lick State Park, KY
M31
Britain has some real winners:
british place names
“Booby Dingle”
“Slutshole Lane”
“Whaplode”
LOL
ixnay
Here in Maine we have Sodom. Also Blackguard Road, which is intimidating if not embarrassing.
Juju
@dmsilev: You know the old saying “The Pennis mightier than the sword.”
Michael Cain
No Name, Colorado. Located next to No Name Creek, which runs through No Name Canyon. As an exercise for the students, the Alferd Packer Grill in the student center at the University of Colorado at Boulder.
raven
Bogart
Between
Travelers Rest
Juju
I live near a town named Conetoe, and it’s not pronounced the way you’d think it would be.
Keith P.
“Trump Tower apartment”
Wapiti
At Yakima Firing Center (WA) there was a low conical hill labeled on the maps as Squaw Tit. Cringe-worthy. I blame the overactive imaginations of our early settlers. That was in the 80s, so I’ve no idea if the name was eventually changed.
WaterGirl
In eighth grade I went on vacation with a friend’s family and I was absolutely thrilled that our little cottage was on Dud Road. I am surely dating myself, but dud was a big word back then..
SiubhanDuinne
@Juju:
“Throat Wobbler Mangrove”?
CaseyL
I am very deeply fond of a town on the Olympic Peninsula (Washington State) called Humptulips.
It’s a Native American word whose meaning has nothing to do with botanical assault, but I always picture a lunatic Dutchman going at it amongst the flowers (Dutchman because of the tulip financial madness there back in the 17th Century).
ETA: I see Dan B beat me to it!
M31
oh man, Keith, that is gross, come on, this is a family website
:-)
raven
@Wapiti: We used to drag our obsolete Honest John’s over there a fire em once a year!
Juju
@SiubhanDuinne: Con knee ta.
noncarborundum
The Grand Tetons in Wyoming, which is just French for “Big Tits”.
Another Scott
Nobody’s mentioned French Lick, IN?
I always liked Jumbo, OH. Out in farm country, a cross-roads, just a couple of stop signs (maybe a light?). A tiny trailer park. That’s it (or at least that’s all that was there in the 1980s). Maybe 50 people, if that.
Cheers,
Scott.
worn
In the first DeLorme gazetteer for Oregon I bought back in the early 90’s had Whiskey Dick on the map. I believe it has been omitted in the more recent publications.
germy
Coxsackie sounds vaguely smutty.
Mike J
Tokeland, WA
Miss Bianca
I think I may have mentioned my ex’s dad, who lived in a nautically-named subdivision in New Bern, NC. He lived off of Booty Lane.
Steve in the ATL
Three Georgia residents have posted and not one mentioned Cumming?
Also, subbing for the absent efgoldman: fire Kirby!
worn
@Wapiti: They changed it.
JCJ
French Lick has already been mentioned, but also in southern Indiana there is Gnawbone which is not very far from Bean Blossom.
JPL
OT. I live in a small neighborhood with thirty five houses and two streets. One neighbor lets his dog out unleashed who approaches aggressively. For years I’ve had a young man walk my dog at first with me walking along. Anyway the last couple of years he was allowed to walk Finch alone but only a several hundred feet because one asshole has been letting his dog roam unleashed. Anyway I taught my young friend to drop the leash and let the dogs take care of it. Today was the test. Finch was a street dog and the walker did as told. Finch was like whatever sniff whatever I’m just lying here and the walker backed off. My neighbor was backing out of her driveway and saw the happening and went down and opened her car door so Finch could jump in. The owners say the dog only barks aggressively but we do have a leash law.
This is my question do I write a note to the owner and say fix it. If I write a note I would identify myself. The other option is asking for more patrols and citations. The second option is possible because……………. Poor guy who was walking Finch never realized how small of a dog he was.
thruppence
When my ex and I were buying a house in the Santa Cruz mountains, we had to look at many geological maps to see possible earthquake risks. My favorite was the Not My Fault.
Cowboy Diva
Beaverlick, KY.
JPL
@raven: Sorry!
Mike J
Individually not really interesting, but Beaver and Sappho are 2-3 miles apart on 101 in WA.
Tazj
@WaterGirl: When I hear the word dud, I think of that Mystery Date game from when I was a child.
?BillinGlendaleCA
@M31:
When did this change occur? Why was I not informed?
Ken Shabby
@SiubhanDuinne:
We can only hope.
My humble and very real contributions:
Paris, Kentucky
Peru, Indiana
London, Kentucky
London, Indiana
I-don’t-know-what – themthere plices.
Anybody who’s been to any of them (I’ve been everywhere, man) knows what am talking bout.
“Corinth”
“Memphis”
“Columbia”
f**king, really, man..?
“Zeus is our governor and, he’s hung like a tripod”
It’s all over the place but it’s always best in some hillbilly paradise that really is a Sh1thole.
opiejeanne
Grand Teton. Big Tit or Big Teat or Big Nipple.
Disputed.
WaterGirl
OT – I am looking for a good way to find British shows beyond what is carried on the regular BBC channel. Has anyone tried Brtibox? I have Apple TV, gen 4, which the google says is required.
The Lodger
@Another Scott: Reminds me of Micro, NC. Somewhere in my stack of vacation photos is a picture of the Micro Mini Mart.
SiubhanDuinne
Nobody has yet mentioned Homosassa Springs, FL.
oatler.
@Adam L Silverman: What’s so funny about Biggus Dickus?
WaterGirl
@Tazj: I must have missed that game.
Jay
Dildo’s actually a pretty common placename.
The reason why is it’s 15th to early 18th Century sailors slang for a tholepin, ( the two wooden pins that served as an oar lock).
Desolation Sound is one of my favorite place name places, as it’s not the least bit desolate.
Ken Shabby
@?BillinGlendaleCA:
It’s …a really odd family. It’s, like rednecks only Smorter.
SiubhanDuinne
@Steve in the ATL:
And I was there today!!
opiejeanne
Boone’s Lick, MO.
It refers to a salt lick, but that’s not what first comes to mind.
Jager
Minnesota has Climax and Fertile. Apparently, years ago there was a story in the Crookston paper, “Fertile woman dies at Climax”
Ken Shabby
@JCJ:
Southern Indiana is for people too stupid even for Kentucky.
Too stupid to get a job in Chicago.
Too stupid to re-locate in Wisconsin and, too sober.
Ken Shabby
@Jager:
Given her suitors, Yes.
Minnesota is for people too stupid to go to Canada.
WaterGirl
@Jager: Growing up, I remember the headline: Oblong Boy Marries Normal Girl.
Full Disclosure, I don’t really recall which gendered person came from which town, but you get the point.
Mingobat (f/k/a Karen in GA)
More juvenile than smutty, but there’s Booger Hollow up in north Georgia. Because of course there is.
hilts
WTF?
h/t https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/juliareinstein/proud-boys-gavin-mcinnes-protest
Ken Shabby
@opiejeanne:
Technically, it’s Big Bone Lick.
I don’t think the judging was impartial and also prior to women having a voice (instead of a frog in their throat).
SiubhanDuinne
There is a Bucksnort, Tennessee.
A Ghost To Most
@JCJ: I was in the service with Crazy Dave from French Lick. He was always raving about this ugly kid who was a wizard at basketball. Turned out he was talking about Larry Bird.
JR
Not so much the name of the place, but how they decorate:
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phallus_paintings_in_Bhutan
Ken Shabby
@SiubhanDuinne:
That sounds like the utter low point in anyone’s life….
Maybe it’s me but…..
My CV will never connect carnal and biblical bliss with Georgia.
And, I was born there.
JPL
At comment 42 I wrote about an aggressive dog.. Do I write a note or just call in favors and take care of the problem? My concern is if I write the note and then call in the favor they know who I am. The folks own lots of land in my area.
WaterGirl
@hilts: I don’t know who Tom Watson is, but Cole had Tom Watson retweeting the Southern Poverty Law Center saying:
America, Fuck Yeah!
Ken Shabby
@JR:
Japan does this, too. It almost single…handedly revitalized the timber industry in Washington and British ….Columbia.
cmorenc
There’s a prominent rock formation on the Colorado River called “Indian Dick“ – which indeed does indeed resemble an erect penis. It’s at mile 23 downstream from the Lee’s Ferry boat put-in for rafting trips down the Grand Canyon. On our trip we took several years ago, from out first night’s campsite we a very similar view of it as in the linked photo, but from a little farther away. The “Indian Dick” rock formation is pretty much inaccessible except to folks on the week+ long float trip from Lee’s Ferry through the Grand Canyon.
germy
@JPL: If they’re the sort to let an aggressive dog wander the neighborhood unleashed, chances are they’re assholes. They’ll be displeased with your note, no matter how polite it is.
Not a hill to die on, in my opinion.
WaterGirl
@JPL: If you’re willing for them to know who you are, my strong advice is to talk to them in person. if you don’t want to do that, I suggest you call in your favor without identifying yourself to the neighbors.
WaterGirl
@JPL:
After Kavanaugh, my “entitled prick” radar is pretty sensitive.
Personally, after Kavanaugh I wouldn’t have the personal energy to potentially deal with anyone like that in person. So I’m kind of in agreement with germy.
Ken Shabby
https://youtu.be/2ByQEyyU4AQ
cmorenc
There’s a prominent rock formation along the Colorado River in Marble Canyon called “Indian Dick” (it’s formal name on USGS maps, not a nickname) which does, indeed strikingly resemble an erect penis. It’s 23 miles downstream from the Grand Canyon rafting put-in at Lee’s Ferry, and only accessible to view if you’re on a rafting trip down the canyon. But it’s such a river landmark that should you undertake the thrill of a week+ rafting trip down the Grand Canyon, it’s a guaranteed bet your guides will point it out to you – it was prominently visible from our first-night campsite on the trip we took several years ago. Absolutely wonderful trip.
SFAW
@?BillinGlendaleCA:
Due to the time zone difference
SiubhanDuinne
@Ken Shabby:
Out of context, I guess it does!
But I never think, or say, or even mentally register that I am going to be “in Cumming.” Rather, I am going to the library (which just happens to be located in Cumming).
JPL
@germy: My neighbor called and said take option number two and gave me times when the dog was roaming. Today was the first time that he actually ran at Nate and Finch. I have no idea what would have happened if a neighbor wasn’t backing out and saw what was happening and got Finch and if the boy walking the dog hadn’t dropped the leash. Odd the folks are involved in Atlanta politics and not here, and have registered their land as religious retreats. lol I imagine they like Kemp.
Another Scott
I haven’t seen this mentioned yet, but if it’s been here, apologies.
GovExec:
They’re throwing lots of money at the department, but it’s barely having any impact on the number of people on the job. It’s not inevitable that DHS and ICE and all the rest can’t be turned around quickly.
Cheers,
Scott.
trollhattan
Dayumn, y’all have some crazy place names.
Translated from Spanish, Manteca and Vacaville, CA are Lard and Cowtown, respectively. Auf English Balls Ferry is located up the Sacramento Valley.
JPL
@WaterGirl: I can’t talk to them in person because of the dog. He really is aggressive but hasn’t bit anyone yet. .
Jager
When you drive from Salem MA into Beverley MA the signs say “Entering Beverley”
Gelfling 545
@JPL: Call the police. Tell them there’srepeated violation of the leash law. If they act they’re probably not going to say who complained. If they don’t act, then you’ll know people who own a lot of land in those parts can do as they please.
trollhattan
@Another Scott:
That sounds like how they churn out all the ethical agents and replace them with Trumpers. Kind of like how the RINOs became extinct.
WaterGirl
@JPL: Call in your favor! Do not leave a note.
Had not seen the “call the police” rec. That’s a possibility, too.
Do you have an Animal Control group?
Whatever you do, maybe consider letting the reporting agency know that you have concerns about your neighbors and worry about possible retaliation if they know your name?
JGabriel
@M31:
You do realize that Balloon Juice is still the top result if you do a web search on “skull fuck a kitten,” right?
Yutsano
Truth or Consequences, NM always amuses me. And yes I know the story behind it. Not necessarily lewd, but interesting.
And of course there is Hell, MI.
SiubhanDuinne
@Jager:
Yeah, when I lived in Michigan I would always see the signs that said Climax 1 mile and I was always “Dude, that’s bossy, but okay, if you say so….”
WaterGirl
@JGabriel: But Cole’s not even in the top 10 on “naked mopping”.
debbie
@JPL:
File a complaint with Animal Control.
WaterGirl
@SiubhanDuinne: Someone needs to add a “please” to that sign.
debbie
@Ken Shabby:
Paris, Rome, London, and god knows what other foreign cities are also towns in Ohio. I used to dream of having my own town named Anywhere But Here.
WaterGirl
@Ken Shabby: Peru really gets around — there is a Peru, Illinois, also.
Schlemazel
Late to the party and the town’s by themselves are not blue but here on the tundra
If you take Emily on an Outing you are sure to get to Atkin before you get to Remmer.
SRW1
International contribution: Farting, Austria.
They have enormous trouble hanging on to their place-name signs.
Steeplejack
A little farther out from me in NoVA you have your choice of Backlick Road or Pohick Road.
JPL
@Gelfling 545: Truthfully I’m calling in some favors and taking care of it. It is ridiculous to live in a neighborhood with two streets and not being able to walk because of an asshole dog. I thought about the note but that has obviously not helped in the past.
SiubhanDuinne
@WaterGirl:
Picture glancing at the drivers one lane over. “I’ll have what she’s having.”
Shana
@Jager: Well if there wasn’t there should have been.
Kathleen
@Ken Shabby: There’s also a Big Bone Lick in Kentucky.
Quaker in a Basement
Maggie’s Nipples in Wyoming.
Ball Play, Alabama
JPL
@JPL: Nate the dog walker did great with Finch backed up but stood his ground.
Shana
@JPL: Are there leash laws in your community? There are virtually everywhere. Call animal control.
Schlemazel
@SRW1:
There is also a Fuck, Austria.
gbear
What town name could be more embarrassing than Embarrass, MN?
Quinerly
An old cross roads in eastern NC called Phart Junction. It’s basically disappeared. Once had a thriving general store.
The Midnight Lurker
Most embarrassing name for a place? Well, being from Texas, it has to be the name of Rick Perry’s hunting lease.
smintheus
@Jerzy Russian: There’s also Virginville, PA…a small village that is rather less exciting than its name suggests.
Shana
@WaterGirl: There’s also Cairo IL pronounced “Cay-ro” and Milan IL pronounced “My-lan”.
debbie
@WaterGirl:
There are a number of right-wingers demanding that SPLC be declared a hate group. smh.
smintheus
@germy: As does Leatherhead.
HinTN
@SiubhanDuinne: And Bugscuffle
The Lodger
@Quinerly: Is their general store doing better or worse than the one in Wankers Corner, Oregon?
geg6
It’s not embarrassing like Dildo Key, but I’ve always wondered about the town of Nanty Glo, a backwoods mountain town here in PA. Where did that name come from? I don’t know. I’m pretty sure it was a coal town based on where it is, but the name always intrigued me. Sounds Irish or Welsh to me but I’m clueless.
Ken Shabby
Rome, Georgia
Athens, Georgia
Athens, Ohio
Albany, Georgia
Albany, New York
Sparta, Wisconski
Columbus, Georgia
Columbus, Indiana (HEY! It’s the county seat – AND – local KKK HKyew)
Alexandria…………
Dildo? Steps up and declares itself but, the rest of these candy dates are flying a false flag like a Roberty Lee Dildo at a Trump rally.
Mel
@Kathleen: You got to it first! There’s also the fine hamlet of Blue Ball, Ohio.
JPL
Just answered a poll about Abrams Kemp. Live person and question was how to best describe Kemp and I said asshole. It took a few minutes for the poor guy to say something. . lol
Ken Shabby
@gbear:
On a bad day, Ely. After 19 and 20, Tower. On any day and decade of the week, Hibbing and (fekkin) Gilbert, like that dude on Leave It To Beaver.
And, if you’ve never been down The Echo Trail to Winston, MN, you’ve no idea what you’ve been missing.
For those of you interested in literary similarities in Historical Minnesota, there is also Babbit, which is right down the road from Embarrass.
Steeplejack
@geg6:
Wikipedia: “The name comes from the Welsh ‘Nant y Glo,’ meaning ‘The Ravine (or Brook) of Coal.'”
juliet tango
Athol MA. I used to do the NOAA weather radio in Boston back when it was real people, not computer generated voices, and I always hated having to read that, with my slight lisp.
OmnesOmnibus
@?BillinGlendaleCA: We all got together and decided not to tell you.
bmoak
Fishs Eddy (yes, that is the correct spelling) in upstate NY. It’s also the name of a popular tableware store near Union Square in Manhattan.
Ken Shabby
@The Lodger:
Well. I’d say that town has an outflow problem. If their take in is well below their…fundamental product, they may be doomed to a life of diminished return.
Also, this:
https://power.cummins.com/contact-us
Part of the Onan Family Business Hempire.
geg6
@Mike J:
I live in Beaver County, PA. Our county seat is Beaver, PA. There is a Big Beaver, Little Beaver, Beaver Falls, the Beaver River and Beaver Creek here. I’ve heard every beaver joke ever made. And yes, there are lots of beaver here.
Keith P.
Speaking of dildo’s, Amazon has an item that you can order where you send a packing (HA!) tube from “BigAssDildos.com” anonymously to someone.
Ken Shabby
@The Midnight Lurker:
Yep. An innocent homage to good times, on a rock, for per-pee-stupidity.
Not much hunting, unless it’s drunk college boys under the cover of midnight, family values and, cotton.
Mel
Adding PeePee Township, Ohio and Spunky Puddle, Ohio to the list of dignified names.
Spunky Puddle is, not surprisingly, essentially a ghost town now.
Matt McIrvin
@ixnay: Blackguard Road is just a good place for Shakespearean insults. It should intersect Whoreson Lane.
geg6
@Steeplejack:
So my instincts are spot on! Yay!
Mike J
@geg6: Imagine how disappointed I was when I was suckered in by the Baltimore science museum advertising their IMAX spectacular, “Beavers!”
Ken Shabby
@Quinerly:
General? I’d say it was quite specific.
“Losing friends? Church threw you out due to bubbles at baptism? In-laws tired of spoilt family gatherings? Crosses exploding whilst burning discretely on lawns? No country club is safe?”
No wonder the place dried up and blew away – the South calls this Southern Treat – and, it’s a summer specialty.
lollipopguild
There is a Pekin Ind. Peekin or Peekan depending on how you pronounce it.
Ken Shabby
@Mel:
I hope it has at least a Hisorical Marker….
Places like this still get mailings from GOP.
SiubhanDuinne
@Quinerly:
SBD?
Steve in the ATL
@JPL: short primer on dog bite law in Georgia: every dog gets one free bite, but thereafter is a known biter and the owner is required to take measures to prevent further harm to innocent parties.
For purposes of dog bite only, you are considered innocent….
Aziz, light!
Molly’s Nipple is the name of at least seven geological features in Utah. Several are credited to a single pioneer whose wife, of course, was Molly.
In the Columbia River Gorge is Rooster Rock State Park, site of a prominent spire several hundred feet tall. Its original and more accurate name was “Cock Rock.”
B.B.A.
There’s a town in Austria called Fucking. They keep getting their signs stolen by drunk British tourists.
Steve in the ATL
@SiubhanDuinne: you claim to be older than efgoldman, but some days I swear you are a 12-year old boy!
Ken Shabby
@WaterGirl:
Imagine. An entire town of five named after a country…
Another Scott
@geg6: Pennsylvania should be excluded from these discussions because it is so weird.
84, PA.
Cheers,
Scott.
(Who has been to the lumber company, but not to the “city”.)
donnah
There’s Orgas, WV, where someone always spraypaints an “m” at the end of the signs.
B.B.A.
@Another Scott: There’s also SNPJ, Pennsylvania, a borough consisting almost entirely of a country club that seceded from the surrounding township in order to get a liquor license.
SiubhanDuinne
@geg6:
Oblig.
SiubhanDuinne
@Steve in the ATL:
¿Por qué no los dos?
Kelly
@worn: Whiskey Dick is my favorite campsite on the Deschutes River. Probably spent a couple dozen nights there over the years.
Mel
Also, there’s Organ Cave, West Virginia, known in the 1800s for its copious deposits of…saltpeter.
Steve in the ATL
@SiubhanDuinne: [head explodes after pondering this koan]
Ken Shabby
@debbie:
And, where is GTFO, Your Town, Nu-nited States, Murka when you need it.
I assed you –
There’s Wyoming, Ohio, which is far far from that place. There’s Coney Island, which flooded every year and wasn’t anywhere near New York City. There’s. – well – there’s Cincinnati, named for the Society of Cincinnatus (o noes, more Greek lit!), a society well ahead of its time, looking to secede from (hand over heart) our Sacred Onion.
As after thought, there’s ….Toledo.
Them sons wasn’t even Close…
OmnesOmnibus
@B.B.A.: I went to college in a city called Appleton. There is a nearby town called Freedom. The
signs are stolen a lot.
Ken Shabby
@Kelly:
Do you drink it, pour it on yourself or both?
Thoughtful David
@Steeplejack:
And Snickersville Pike.
Elizabelle
@Steeplejack: I’ll see your Pohick Road and raise you one Powhite Parkway, from RVA.
And, of course, there’s Bumpass, out Charlottesville way.
Kelly
Oregon’s funniest town names are Boring and Drain. Rains so much we need a Drain and this weather is Boring.
Matt McIrvin
@Elizabelle: Ah, yes. It’s POW-HITE.
Another Scott
@Ken Shabby: And Upper Sandusky, OH which is, er, south of Sandusky, OH.
Yeah, yeah, Upper is at the headwaters of the Sandusky river, and Sandusky is at the mouth. Still…
Cheers,
Scott.
Denali
Nippletop Mountain in the Adirondacks.
opiejeanne
@WaterGirl: There’s a town in Missouri named Peculiar. My aunt told me we have relatives there, and they are.
Viva BrisVegas
Not to be left out:
Tittybong, Victoria
Humpty Doo, Northern Territory
Yorkey’s Knob, Queensland
Cock Wash, South Australia
Woodie Woodie, Western Australia
The End of the World, Tasmania
Tom Ugly, NSW
opiejeanne
@Ken Shabby: I’ll bet you think you’re funny.
Ken Shabby
@opiejeanne:
There are towns all over our exceptional shining city on a hill named peculiar.
They are typically the red sections on voting maps.
Kelly
@Ken Shabby: My crew favors single single malt scotch so pouring it on ourselves would be a sin.
Ken Shabby
@opiejeanne:
Sometimes.
It’s subjective. I bet you think I hit a nerve.
I’m having fun, opiejeanne and I hope you don’t take offense. None intended. I’ve been to most of these places and easy to get along with.
Ken Shabby
@Kelly:
Whew!
If you didn’t get fish you can always drink.
Kelly
Whiskey Dick Campsite
https://www.americanwhitewater.org/content/Photo/detail/photoid/19309/
Steve in the ATL
@Kelly: I’m Episcopalian too
opiejeanne
@debbie: Nevada, Missouri. Pronounced nuh-VAD-uh.
And Rolla, Missouri, named after Raleigh, NC. Spelled the way it sounded to them (just like my great grandma Susannah whose headstone reads Susanner; Best guess is great grandpa really never did learn to read and he told the stone-cutter to spell it like it sounds)
??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ??
@Jerzy Russian:
“Let’s a set a course. Intercourse!”
??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ??
@B.B.A.:
I live near there in Ohio and it’s pretty weird. Was looking at Google maps once at my town and there’s names for places I never knew had names. There’s an intersection in a rural area outside the city and it’s called Marquis for some reason on Google Maps. Literally nothing’s there aside from a few buildings.
Just One More Canuck
I live in an area called Vinegar Hill, a couple of miles away from Locust Hill
Z
Glory Hole Recreation Area, in central California on New Melones Lake. I’m serious, go to https://www.google.com/maps/place/Glory+Hole+Recreation+Area/@38.0061183,-120.5423015,17z/data=!3m1!4b1!4m5!3m4!1s0x8090eabcbd94be01:0xb162b57348aa1d95!8m2!3d38.0061183!4d-120.5423015
We passed it once after taking a wrong turn on the way back from Yosemite to San Francisco, pulled over and laughed for several minutes straight.
A Ghost To Most
Hell’s Half Acre west of Casper, WY is worth a stop if you have the time.
SiubhanDuinne
@Steve in the ATL:
My work here is done.
?BillinGlendaleCA
@??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ??: As I mentioned the other day, quite a few place got their names from the railroads.
SiubhanDuinne
@Viva BrisVegas:
There is a Bungerly* Hippingstones in the U.K. I have been there. It is famous as the site where Edward IV’s forces captured Henry VI during the Wars of the Roses.
*Alternative spellings include Bungerley and Brungerly.
chris
@Just One More Canuck: Handy to the zoo.
JaySinWA
Potholes state park in WA gets a minor vote. I was told some non locals were looking for po-tho-les. It took a while to understand they were asking about pot-holes. Philomath, OR should get a nerd mention.
Steve in the ATL
@JaySinWA: also Philomath, GA, which gets name checked in the REM song “can’t get there from here”, though the song ironically references going there. Stipe’s lyrics were always inscrutable….
Amir Khalid
There was once a town in Sarawak named Nonok (Malay for “cunt”, but I suspect it meant something much more innocent in the local language.) Still, the all-time champion of unfortunate place names remains the famous Austrian village of Fucking.
Steve in the ATL
@Amir Khalid: “what monstrous country gave the world hitler?”
“Fucking Austria.”
RepubAnon
@Kelly: Perhaps Elon Musk could move his “Boring” company to Boring, Oregon…
Amir Khalid
@Ken Shabby:
Five people is a household at best.
WaterGirl
@debbie: That’s crazy!
WaterGirl
@JPL: Good for you!
Marleedog
If ff you go to Lassen NP in California, you will discover a section with stinking hot sulphur springs known as Bumpass Hell.
raven
@Steve in the ATL: Philomath Photos
WaterGirl
@SiubhanDuinne: I didn’t remember that from the movie. Funny.
Another Scott
https://twitter.com/danrsena/status/1051153900034826240
Good, good.
More, please.
(via Nancy Pelosi’s Twitter feed.)
Cheers,
Scott.
Bruuuuce
While none of the (real-life) place names mentioned in the song are themselves embarrassing, John Forster’s “Entering Marion” does a good job of creating and maintaining innuendo with them.
J R in WV
Here in WV there are a few odd names, like Odd, WV. Another far out place was / is Igeria, WV… places way out in the country were past Igeria.
Closer to home here, Big Ugly – hard to write headlines for people from there: “Big Ugly Housewife Murdered!” “Big Ugly Man Dies” you see where it’s bad to go here, right?
Hell for Certain Kentucky is a eastern Ky town. There are a lot of odd WV place names, but I’m not going to spend time looking them up by bothering neighbors.
The Lodger
@B.B.A.: Tavistock, NJ did exactly the same thing. It has a population of 7 last time I checked.
Gin & Tonic
Justin Verlander appearing mortal.
Amir Khalid
@Aziz, light!:
A feature of the landscape named after a musical genre?
Cckids
As I discovered driving through last week; in SE Oregon they have Crack in the Ground State Recreation Area. I can only hope it is more exciting than it sounds.
SiubhanDuinne
@WaterGirl:
Well, it was a quickie.
zhena gogolia
@opiejeanne:
I’ve been there! I was trying to remember the funny-named town in MO. That’s it.
Bess
My grandfather had a farm alongside the French Broad.
Manteca was a dairy area that shipped milk and butter to San Francisco daily. The intention was to name the town the Spanish name for butter which would be mantequilla, but ended up with a name that most often means lard. But in some areas manteca means butter.
Pig Turd Alley, Amador City, CA. Left over from the gold rush days.
Ken
@B.B.A.: @The Lodger: If I were the city manager, I’d be tempted to send the backhoes out there the day after the club seceded, and cut it off from the municipal water and sanitation lines.
Geoduck
A couple of people already mentioned Tumptulips, but Washington State also has Walla Walla, which has achieved a certain degree of immortality via its use in Warner Brothers cartoons, and the “Witch Doctor” song: “oo ee oo ah ah ting tang walla walla bing bang”.
That guy
Here in East Minneapolis we have a well-traveled, interstate-ramp-connected, street called Cretin.
oldgold
Dingleberry Road, Iowa City, Iowa
http://worldofsigns.com/signs/542/dingleberry-road
opiejeanne
@Kelly: My dad had a cousin who lived near Drain. Called him Uncle Barney because . Just because. He had a pretty place there.
KBS
Apparently it’s not a real town, but there is a tourist destination in Missouri called Uranus. They have a fudge factory!
opiejeanne
@Ken Shabby: I’m talking about Missouri, remember? I did eventually meet Grandma’s cousins, and they were a bit peculiar.
Beautifulplumage
The closest town near The Big Hole Battlefield in WY is Wisdom. In 1993 there was a church in Wisdom called Church of the Big Hole.
Mayim
@Kelly:
If my memory isn’t failing me, Boring OR is a twin city of Dull, Scotland.
In Maine: Poland, China, Norway, Sweden, Denmark, Mexico {there’s a somewhat postcard-famous sign with many of those…}, as well as Paris and Belfast.
In Scotland, both Orkney and Shetland have villages named Twatt.
opiejeanne
@Ken Shabby: You did hit a nerve with your comment about Boone’s Lick. I’m writing a book set during the civil war in the Missouri Ozarks so right now I’m probably far too sober about stuff that is of no consequence, but Boone’s Lick is the name of the town, named after a salt lick and Daniel Boone’s surviving sons. Along the Missouri River, two counties deep both north and south sides was known as the boonslick, esd the seat of most slave plantations in the state. I can bore you with stories that don’t belong here right now, but the one I will repeat is that the Missouri governor who was a Confederate sympathizer, Fox Jackson, and who was removed from office early in the war, he and his buddies conspired to defraud the banks in Missouri by mortgaging non-existant properties in the Boonslick, or undeveloped ones. They did this in order to give monetary support to the Confederacy and the fraud had a devastating effect on the state.
Jay
@Geoduck:
And sweet onions.
opiejeanne
@opiejeanne: That should read nuh-VAY-duh, Missouri.
Pyre Light
As a youngling visiting the Grandparents in Michigan, I was always amused when driving by Gaylord.
opiejeanne
@Marleedog: That’s where the discoverer (or victim) broke through the crust and boiled a leg!
opiejeanne
@raven: The other Philomath
Suzanne
Mr. Suzanne is a fan of maps, so I purchased this map of rude place names for him last Christmas.
I enjoy that the towns of “Tos” and “Miass” are near one another.
So many Knobs.
opiejeanne
@zhena gogolia: There’s also Foose and Nobnoster. I have no idea where those names in the Aux Arcs came from.
opiejeanne
@zhena gogolia: And Hog’s Eye, which is now Nevada (nuh-VAY-duh) MO.
Suzanne
@SiubhanDuinne:
OMIGOD, I have been there. My mom and I drove through (took about three seconds) when I was eight and we still occasionally laugh about it.
Aleta
Fellow’s Balls, Vermont. A nice little town with a railroad and lots of brick buildings. : ) (Vernacular counts, right?)
Starfish
@germy: Coxsackie will always be a virus to me. Apparently, the virus was named after the place where the first specimens of the virus were found.
Aleta
What Cheer in Iowa.
Jackie
@Jay: My 9 and 7 yr olds grandsons LOVE Looney Tunes. We’re in Tri-Cities, WA. They finally recognized ACME Dynamite, Walla Walla. They think Walla Walla is famous ?
Bess
If we want to expand beyond place names, my mother’s ancestors arrived in Philadelphia from Europe on the Pink Johnson.
Litlebritdifrnt
Whenever I am driving up to the lakes Gigglewick and Wiggleswick always make me smile.
Mike J
@Steve in the ATL: I’ve been there, I know the way.
For road songs, I always liked Little America for the line, “Another Greenville, another Majik Mart, Jefferson drive on through. “
OldDave
Sort of late to this one – but there’s a Goobertown, Arkansas.
M. Bouffant
@Geoduck: Walla Walla means “place of many waters”.
Bruuuuce
@Steve in the ATL: I have a friend who boasted, a couple of years ago, that she’d finally been to Tucson, Tucumcari, Tehachapi, and Tonopah. She couldn’t help but put a bit of melody into it (but I excused her because she busks professionally)
CapnMubbers
@SiubhanDuinne: My brother’s SoCal property is named Bucksnort Ranch.
OldDave
In the “not pronounced the way you’d think” department – Ponce de Leon, Florida. The locals apparently use an English pronunciation (three words: “Ponce Dee Leon” with a hard E in Leon).
rikyrah
This thread is hilarious. Hee hee hee ? ?
Mike J
@OldDave: So like Versailles, KY (ver sales) and New Madrid, MO (mad rid or mad drid).
Cowgirl in the Sandi
Back in the day when ‘some’ would smoke a lot of dope, when driving back to St. Louis from college in western Illinois, we would always look forward to Pekin and Rushville – nothing like peaking in Pekin and rushes in Rushville.
CaseyL
More fun Washington State city names:
Sequim which is pronounced Squim.
Puyallup, pronounced Pew-al-up, emphasis on second syllable. When I first moved here, lo those many decades ago, I had some trouble twisting my tongue around the name and was calling the place “pull y’all up.”
Lillewap, which caused years of hilarity between me and my then-partner back in the 1990s. We took a road trip on the Olympic Peninsula, and stopped at Lillewap – a very cute, very tiny town – for a bite to eat in a surprisingly good diner. A week later, coming back the same route, talking about where to have lunch, trying to remember which of the many roadside bistros, pubs and greasy spoons, we’d stopped at, I said “How about that little Italian place we ate at on the way down”? Michael had no idea what I was talking about, and didn’t remember eating any Italian food… until we again passed through Lillewap, at which point he goggled at me, said “Little Italian place?” in a shaky voice, and burst out laughing so hard he had to stop the car.
You have to understand why it was so funny: I am the most PC person you have ever met in your life. I would no more use an ethnic slur, ANY ethnic slur, than I would kick a puppy. But my mind, wrestling with flawed memory and unconscious word association, played a damn dirty trick on me.
Lymie
The place itself is fine, but I am all about spoonerisms. Bellows Falls, VT.
Aleta
I like the town names that have a optimistic idealistic utopian feel. In Maine there are a lot — I can only think of
Harmony
Hope
Freedom
Unity
Amity
Friendship
Liberty
For most of those, I’m not aware of a connection to a utopian community. Like everywhere else there were utopian settlements; and lots of Biblical town names remain.
normal liberal
As usual no one will see this at the end of this thread, but all the same I’m here to recommend a book called Let Us Build Us A City, by Donald Harington, very much apropos to the small to disappeared towns mentioned above.
HeartlandLiberal
My favorite names linked with my childhood and teen years growing up in Alabama are Arab (pronounced Long A first syllable gets emphases, rab pronounced like dab.
My mom grew up in Ragland, which was a favorite spot to visit because of my grandfather and oldest aunt, and the cement plant which encrusted EVERYTHING with white cement dust.
And of course my favorite name, Slapout, Alabama, which is north northwest of Montgomery, and west of Wetumpka and Auburn. Somewhere I have a tee shirt proudly announcing I have been to Slapout, Alabama. My wife has relatives there.
Chief Oshkosh
Bugtussle, OK.
tybee
@raven: got a kitten from Bogart back when i was at UGA. don’t remember what we named the critter but it was always referred to as “Bogart”.
there is also a Climax, Georgia.
and Lickskillet, Georgia.
Hildebrand
While neither euphemistic or double entendre(istic), in SE Wisconsin the best named park is Bong Recreation Area.
tybee
two egg, florida
Pete Mack
@Adam L Silverman:
At the tip of Florida’s protuberance hangs Dildo Key
DigitalAmish
Just down the road a couple miles from my humble abode is the intersection of Kitchen Dick and Woodcock roads. (what are the odds this comment goes to moderation?)
daize
246 comments and no Assawoman Bay?
oz29
Whiskey Dick Mountain in Washington.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Whiskey_Dick_Mountain
Older
@Shana: In Oregon we have Madras, pronounced “Mad russ”. And there did use to be a lot of very funny (to college students anyway) place name signs in the mostly wooded parts of the state. More recently (after we were no longer spending our summers on Forest Service lookouts) the state did a clean-up on these names. Thus rendering a summer in the woods much less enjoyable.
Also, in the category of public initiative, there is a “Do Not Enter” sign downtown in my town — you know, with the white bar across the middle? Someone has written “Fcking” in the white bar.
burnspbesq
250 comments and not a single mention of Weed, CA?
Porlock Junior
Ah, Uranus, the planet that’s pronounced two ways, both dubious.
The magazine Fantasy and Science Fiction, donkey’s years ago, in the Boucher & McComas days, ran a short item apologizing for an error to which a reader drew their attention, in which they had captioned an issue’s cover to the effect that it showed an exploration on Uranus, with Triton (a moon of Neptune, in fact) visible large in the sky. This consisted of an extended limerick, something like,
Much though the confession may pain us,
We admit our behavior’s been heinous.
We vow in the future
To read proofs with due care,
And keep Triton remote from Uranus.
(Though all that’s esthetically pure in ous
Insists that the word should be URanous.)
Dev Null
From an ex-colleague:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Ssrm-aLGNw
“A Night in Dildo”
Enjoy!
Dev Null
another Arrogant Worms hit from the same ex-colleague. Apropos to the Floriduh theme:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d0Eqwjfnoos
Dice
Euren, Wisconsin (pronounced “urine”).