You Give Me Life

One of my favorite genres of comedy is the Q&A section for Amazon products. This for a no-spill gas can is amazing:

Back to watching hurricane model and checking up to date stills from OBX traffic cams. Stay tuned for my reddit AMA on all things hurricane.

42 replies
  1. 1
    Corner Stone says:

    Dear Love Doctor Cole,
    My girlfriend has recently informed me that Hurricane Florence has inspired her to make strong changes in her life. She let me know that she will be following Florence’s example and needs to execute an Eyewall Replacement to satisfy her emotional well being. Should I be worried?
    Depressed Millibar

  2. 2
  3. 3
    SiubhanDuinne, Badass Jackal says:

    Stay tuned for my reddit AMA on all things hurricane.

    You sound bitter, John. You should jump out of an airplane at 14,000 feet like me and just chill.

  4. 4
    cthulhu says:

    What always amazes me about Amazon Answers (and other sites) is the people who respond to the question: “I don’t know.” Yeah, it’s not particularly helpful to have a census of those who don’t know the answer to my question!

  5. 5
    Cermet says:

    Again, hope it just does out to sea but if it had to hit some State, South Carolina, would be the one I’d least mind. Again, if it does devastate them, I hope fema does work well; but if it doesn’t, they will get exactly what they voted for.

  6. 6
    Mnemosyne says:

    I have to say, one of the romance novels I just finished reading on someone else’s recommendation has one of the best opening lines I’ve ever read:

    “Allen Ginsberg once tried to levitate my grandfather,” I told the mourners, clearing my throat through the nervousness.

    The book is called Bohemian, by Kathryn Nolan. It’s very well-written, but be warned that it’s also VERY dirty and has some light BDSM in it, which is not for everyone. I don’t usually like that stuff, but the author didn’t use a heavy hand and kept it based in the characters, so it worked.

  7. 7
    low-tech cyclist says:

    Speaking of no-spill gas cans, have they gotten any better in the past 12-15 years? I got a couple of them ca. 2005 because I needed a new gas can, and found you couldn’t get any other kind anymore. The no-spill cans I could find required 3 hands to operate properly, and not being Zaphod Beeblebrox, I managed to spill far more gasoline in the first few months I had them than I’d managed to spill in the previous 40 years.

    I finally gave up and went back to using the old gas can that I wanted to replace. I’m still using it. I’d still like to replace it.

  8. 8
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @raven: Bless their hearts!

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  10. 10
    SiubhanDuinne, Badass Jackal says:


    Now that’s just crazy talk.

    Please. Wait til I break out the Mob Enforcer.

  11. 11
    ljt says:

    @Cermet: Don’t be such an ass. Charleston is a beautiful city (and much bluer than the rest of the state). I live in Edisto Beach. We left this morning and will hopefully have a house to return to. Leave the ignorant generalizations about an entire place or group of people are to RWNJs, and have some empathy for others who did NOT vote for this and who are definitely going to be hurt by it.

  12. 12
    Doug R says:

    I dunno. Any containers I would sell secondhand would contain trace amounts of methane, hydrogen sulfide, ketones and aldehydes.

  13. 13
    Middlelee says:

    I’m amazed at the number of people who ask me questions about the PetLuv cat carrier with wheels. I bought two PetLuv cat carriers without wheels. So I have no idea if the wheels detach or fold under or are sturdy.

  14. 14
    Raven says:

    @ljt: Where’d ya go?

  15. 15

    Balloon Juice hive mind: Can you suggest an entry level dslr camera for making videos, preferably with an option to add an external microphone. Doesn’t have to be the latest model.

  16. 16
    Raven says:

    There’s still folks fishin!

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  18. 18
    Doug R says:

    @schrodingers_cat: Saw a GoPro 4k 30fps with HD 60fps at our local London Drugs for $90 CDN.

  19. 19

    @Raven: Me too. I like Canon. Easy to use and great results. Thanks for the suggestion, I will look it up.

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  21. 21
    NotMax says:


    As the saying goes, there’s a reason it’s called fishing and not catching.


  22. 22

    If you’re interested in video, I would suggest getting a mirrorless camera rather than a DSLR. For stills, the optical viewfinder of a DSLR has some advantages, but it’s not used for video. You’d be better off saving the expense and complication by getting a camera that doesn’t have one, i.e. a mirrorless. If you’re going for an entry-level mirrorless camera, I would go with one of the m4/3 models, and DPReview recommends the Panasonic DMC-GX85 as their best entry level model for video. If you get into it more seriously, you can upgrade to a fancier m4/3 body without having to replace your lenses.

  23. 23
    Doug R says:

    @schrodingers_cat: Can’t find that gopro on their website. I must have misread it or it’s a typo.

  24. 24

    @Doug R: I am not looking to capture a lot of action, at least initially. Its basically going to be talking and interviewing, presenting etc.

  25. 25
    psycholinguist says:

    @cthulhu: Pretty essential difference in pragmatics between Yankees and southerners. Yankees see providing non-relevant information as a waste of time, and therefore find it rude; southerners view the request as an obligation that must be met (even if they don’t have the requested information) and so would se a non response as rude. Positive vs negative face maintenance, to put it in Goffman’s terms. If you’ve ever asked for directions from someone in Alabama that doesn’t know the place you’re trying to find, but talks about other places they do know how to get to for the next 10 minutes, you understand.

  26. 26

    @Roger Moore: They are kinda pricey. Camcorders seem to be out of fashion these days.

  27. 27
    sheila in nc says:

    @psycholinguist: When I first moved south, I marveled at how much time it took for a simple phone call. You’re only looking for one little piece of information, but you have to go through the obligatory “How’s it going?” “Oh, fine, traffic was bad this morning, but we all got here, blah blah.” Each time I picked up the phone, I had to stop myself from getting right to the point, and make myself remember the niceties. Now, of course, after 20 years, I find it charming — one could argue that it’s another little tie that binds people together in a web of good behavior (or so we hope).

  28. 28
    Raven says:

    @psycholinguist: Bah, I’m not buying.

  29. 29
    psycholinguist says:

    @sheila in nc: Yep, some fascinating differences in what constitutes polite behavior. My guess it has a lot to do with the differences in population density between northeast and south. Easterners place a high value on freedom of movement and independence, as those things are harder to attain when you’re squished together like sardines. Asking or providing irrelevant info is one more thing impeding their progress. To be polite and respectful in Yankee land is to stay out of each others way.

  30. 30
    Doug R says:

    @psycholinguist: Maybe it’s the class differences. The leisure class gets to drawl slow like the upper class twits in jolly old England.
    The slave class has to communicate quickly, sometimes in code like the Cockneys in England.

  31. 31
    psycholinguist says:

    @Doug R: Tends to work just the opposite. Best example is the army, where the social rank is completely explicit. Higher ranks get to order people around without any mitigation or attempts to maintain the lower ranks face, while the lower ranks are obligated to answer everything with yes sirs and no ma’ams.

    The umpire in the Serena Williams episode, to me, was so offensive in part because he was demanding that she be “nice”. People criticizing her expected her (and women in general) to signal that they are of lower status by using polite, mitigated, indirect language. She was having none of it, effectively claiming a status that asshole didn’t believe she deserved, so he metered out his punishment. My wife is a business executive working with crews of men all day, every day This is almost always the expectation on her, even from those she outranks.

  32. 32
    evodevo says:

    @low-tech cyclist: You can get the old style nozzles on Ebay, but the price is rising …they are much in demand. NO ONE likes those “safety” nozzles on the new cans – like you say, it would take an octopus to work them correctly..

  33. 33
    p.a. says:

    @psycholinguist: Can’t get they-ah… from he-ah.

  34. 34
    Gin & Tonic says:

    @SiubhanDuinne, Badass Jackal: You’re gonna lord that over all the rest of us for at least the next year, aren’t you?

  35. 35
    Amir Khalid says:

    @Gin & Tonic:
    And why shouldn’t she?

  36. 36
    JWL says:

    After the 1989 Loma Prieta earthquake that rocked the San Francisco Bay Area, Home Depot began to sell “earthquake detectors” right next to the check-out stands. I almost wished I’d bought one now, just like that pet rock I took a pass on in 1976..

    In fact, I knew a guy back then who began a tradition of decorating his pet rock with Christmas lights every year. Funny thing when an out of the blue memory like that suddenly springs to mind. My best guess is that particular tradition ended no later than 1979, but I don’t know that as fact.

  37. 37
    Aleta says:

    @psycholinguist: @psycholinguist: Interesting. Good examples. Those status/deference/punishment differences happen on blogs and other comment sites too. Which is kind of interesting since it happens despite a more anonymous and equality-like setup. At the same time, the relevant/irrelevant/too chatty regional judgements you mention might easily carry over from real life into comment sections.

  38. 38

    @schrodingers_cat: Depending on how often you need it, it may be worth renting. Renting also allows you to try before you buy. is a good place to do so.

  39. 39
    Gin & Tonic says:

    @Sister Golden Bear: I’ll second that recommendation. I’ve done business with them several times on special projects, and they are very easy to do business with.

    But if all you (schrodinger’s cat) need is a small, simple video camera, you can’t go wrong with a GoPro. You don’t need to be bungee-jumping or skydiving to use it – it’s a “set it and forget it” approach to video.

  40. 40
    MoxieM says:

    @p.a.: Haven’t heard a good Bert ‘n Ernie story for quite some time.

    Tell me, now that the youngs have adopted the phonograph record album, do they also play things like Bert ‘n Ernie, or the ever so slightly risque comedic efforts that some dads had at the bottom of their sweater drawers. I mean, it’s not like acoustic quality is the point with those. But they are so definitively mid-Century Modern. (::snicker::)

  41. 41
    MoxieM says:

    Forgive me, “Bert & I”, Ernie’s got nothing to do with it!

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