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We Interrupt Your Regularly Scheduled Insanity for a Floriduh! Man, Woman, and Gator Update

We start with hot and humid Floriduh! Gator on Man action!

ABC News take it away!

A 35-year-old man was bitten by an alligator on Monday afternoon in Clearwater, Florida, authorities said.

The man was attacked by the 11-foot animal while playing disc golf, and trying to retrieve his flying disc from a pond in Cliff Stephens Park, according to ABC Affiliate WFTS.

“He had serious injuries but they were not life threatening at the time,” Rob Shaw, a public safety officer with Clearwater Fire & Rescue, told ABC News.

“We received multiple calls immediately right after it happened because there were a number of people in the area at the time,” said Shaw. He added that the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission handled the case, and called licensed state alligator trappers who captured the animal and removed it from the pond.

“There are signs posted there that warn people not to swim out, not to get in the water. So he is very fortunate to still be alive,” said Shaw. “We have alligator attacks down here from time to time, and many times it can be fatal or have very serious injuries.”

The 11 foot-alligator as well as a smaller one were removed from the pond and will be euthanized, WFTS reported.

Next up, Floriduh! Woman…

ABC10 News has the details:

FORT PIERCE, Cla. (KGTV) — A Florida woman says the wind is to blame after police found cocaine inside her purse, the Associated Press reports.

Kennecia Posey was one of two passengers in a car stopped by police in Fort Pierce in March, according to WPLG.

After smelling marijuana, an officer searched the car and found cocaine and marijuana in separate bags. The drugs were found in Posey’s purse.

When asked about the drugs, the woman told police, “It’s a windy day. It must have flown through the window and into my purse.”

Posey was charged with a felony count of cocaine possession among other charges.

Finally, Polk County, FL Sheriff Grady Judd (R-Good Ole Boy, Never Meaning No Harm), brings us this tale of prison intrigue:

The Tampa Bay Times is on the case:

What doesn’t kill you might make you stronger, but what does kill roaches will get you higher, Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd said Tuesday.

“They’re spraying this stuff on paper and either smoking it or eating it in the county jail,” he said. “Normal people can’t understand this.”

Polk County’s top lawman made the stunningly disturbing announcement during a news conference about a prison scam in which K-2 synthetic cannabinoid was being smuggled into Polk County’s Frostproof jail.

The Sheriff’s Office charged eight people in the smuggling ring. Judd said an investigation found that K-2 was being sprayed onto paper, then dried and disguised as legal correspondence, personal messages and bible verses. The drug-infused papers were then mailed to inmates or brought in during personal meetings at the jail.

The show was stolen, however, when Judd — not one to shy away from props — reached beneath his podium, only to emerge double-fisting poisonous products: A can of Raid in one hand, a box of roach motels in the other.

“Some of the things that are most popular, and they really like this better than the K-2,” Judd said about six minutes into the news conference, “is Raid and roach motel.”

Judd said inmates have taken to placing roach motels in plastic bags with paper, sealing them, shaking it up and leaving it in the sun for the chemicals to react. When the chemicals get infused on the paper, they eat or smoke it.

The bug spray epidemic poses a particular problem because it can’t be detected by drug tests, he said.

In 2014, researchers from Texas Tech University Health Sciences Center in Lubbock, Texas, released a study following a subject who got high on high-powered bug spray. Researchers said the compound pyrethroid, which is found in roach and wasp sprays, gave their subject a rush “similar to methamphetamine after using pyrethroid from liquid insecticide that had been heated (electrocuted) or sprayed on hot metal sheets until it crystallized.”

“We’ve received information from sources in the jail that said K-2 is cool, synthetic amphetamine is cool, but what we really like is the Raid,” Judd said, adding that it’s “just a new world that we’re discovering.”

Looking for an alternative? Why not try cottage cheese on your paper, he said.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled natural and man made disasters.

Open thread!

 






81 replies
  1. 1
    Paul T says:

    So, what about the Frisbee? Or the “Disc?”

  2. 2
    Gin & Tonic says:

    I really like Kennecia Posey’s chutzpah.

  3. 3
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @Gin & Tonic: I just hate it when the wind blows someone else’s blow into my purse.

  4. 4
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @Paul T: It was unharmed.

  5. 5
    The Dangerman says:

    …retrieve his flying disc from a pond…

    Can’t we give him an honorary Darwin Award for his efforts?

  6. 6
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @The Dangerman: Especially as all the ponds have really big signs warning people about the alligators.

  7. 7
    Gin & Tonic says:

    @Adam L Silverman: Keep your purse closed, as you should, and you won’t have that problem.

  8. 8
    Ken says:

    The man was attacked by the 11-foot animal while playing disc golf,

    I’ve read worse superhero (or -villain) origin stories.

  9. 9
    The Dangerman says:

    @Adam L Silverman:

    …all the ponds have really big signs…

    Hopefully with an appropriate spot to hold people’s beer.

    Shame the gator paid for this guy’s idiocy.

  10. 10
    Jim, Foolish Literalist says:

    @Ken: GATORMAN! Weilding his Frisbee I mean Disc Of Justice against property developers and litterers

  11. 11
    Mnemosyne says:

    I have to admit, my first thought was, “People still play frisbee golf?”

  12. 12
    NotMax says:

    Maybe the gator only wanted to visit a distant cousin.

    ;)

  13. 13

    See, this is why they tell you not to talk to the police. Now she’s gotta hope for a judge with a sense of humor.

  14. 14
    justawriter says:

    I knew I read the windy blow story before (five months ago apparently). https://www.local10.com/news/weird-news/florida-woman-blames-cocaine-in-purse-on-windy-day

    It happened back in March, was reported in April. Are things so tough for 10News that they had to go into reruns?

  15. 15
    Adam L Silverman says:

    Who has two thumbs and a toxic mixture of no self awareness and high levels of narcissism?

    And what did she have to say on the publicity tour?

  16. 16
    zhena gogolia says:

    @Gin & Tonic:

    Do you think Putin would really bother poisoning Verzilov? It’s distressing, no matter what. (going to bed now)

  17. 17
    zhena gogolia says:

    @Adam L Silverman:

    According to my People news alert (haven’t had time to read the article), Debra Messing told SS to STFU.

  18. 18
    Mnemosyne says:

    Speaking of wild animal encounters, this one turned out better for everyone involved, probably because it involved everyone’s favorite ocean-going mustelid and not a reptile:

    https://youtu.be/_nqZdNbz6hc

  19. 19
    Mike in NC says:

    Never heard of disc golf and too lazy to look it up.

  20. 20
    Mnemosyne says:

    @Adam L Silverman:

    You know, if their classmates hadn’t been murdered, the Parkland kids wouldn’t be touring the country registering voters right now, so it’s actually a GOOD thing they were murdered.
    /Susan Sarandon

  21. 21
    cynthia ackerman says:

    @Paul T:

    It blew into my purse.

  22. 22
    Steve in the ATL says:

    The devil went down to Georgia…because he was too scared to go to Florida

    At some point, the state of Florida is going to have to stop putting bath salts in the municipal water supply

  23. 23
  24. 24
    Steve in the ATL says:

    @Mike in NC: “disc golf” tells you 99% of the story. “Cannabis” tells you the rest.

  25. 25
    Gin & Tonic says:

    @zhena gogolia: Vladimir Vladimirovich? Probably not. People who thought they were doing what he might like? Much more likely.

  26. 26
    NotMax says:

    @Adam L. Silverman

    Did the Devil have a blue dress on?

    Irresponsible not to speculate.

    ;)

  27. 27
    khead says:

    Narrator voice: Susan Sarandon is not a POC and is not running for office.

  28. 28
    PhoenixRising says:

    @Paul T: The Frisbee was just fine, I bet. About 20 years ago I had a retriever style dog who was not well socialized to other dogs. We discovered this when she went full gator on another Lab over a flying disc in a shallow pond. It cost me $430 at the vet that day, and my dignity with the other dog’s people.

    The flying disc came through the ordeal without permanent injury, though.

    PS I suspect the guy was higher than the cost of living.

  29. 29
    Steve in the ATL says:

    @Adam L Silverman: that is fuckin’ awesome! And fuck the Yankees!

  30. 30
    Mary G says:

    Uh oh, someone’s time is almost up:

    So much here, via @burgessev @elianayjohnson: Trump has slowly come to realize that Mattis’ political views are more moderate than his sobriquet suggests, and the president has taken to referring to him behind closed doors as “Moderate Dog.” https://t.co/27meta6bid— Carrie Budoff Brown (@cbudoffbrown) September 13, 2018

    Twitler, Jr. posted a picture of himself swimming in a Louisana bayou that his hunting companions had warned him was full of alligators. Stupid Louisiana alligators refused to eat him. Probably repelled by whatever goo it is that he puts in his hair.

  31. 31
    Mai Naem mobile says:

    No wonder Rick Scott is Fl governor and Pam Biondi is the AG.

  32. 32
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @Steve in the ATL: Of course!

  33. 33
    NotMax says:

    @Mary G

    Considering his upbringing, gators were smart enough to stay away from spoiled meat.

    :)

  34. 34
    Jim, Foolish Literalist says:

    @khead: and is a very wealthy woman who doesn’t have to worry about health insurance, I’m guessing

  35. 35
    Mary G says:

    Fake news! (sound on)

    my dog has ear medicine she needs and the other one also thinks he needs it too.. nobody has the heart to tell him it’s pretend.. pic.twitter.com/Vshe7dhl3b— chloe copley (@chloecopley_05) September 12, 2018

  36. 36
    PhoenixRising says:

    @Mary G: Donald knows the word ‘moderate’?

  37. 37
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @Mary G: There’s been a concerted effort to wrongfoot Secretary Mattis with the President. This includes leaks that he’s set up his own PAC to challenge the President either for the GOP primary or as an independent in 2020. As well as leaks about him making harsh assessments and statements about the President. Someone clearly wants him neutralized and gone.

  38. 38
    Gin & Tonic says:

    @PhoenixRising: Since Wham-O (the makers of the trademarked Frisbee) were really stupid, the flying discs used in disc golf and in the vaguely soccer-like disc sport called “Ultimate” are made by other manufacturers and cannot be called Frisbees. And while I don’t know about Florida Man, both the sport called “Ultimate” and the sport known as disc golf can certainly be played casually, but at their high levels are intensely competitive, and played by people for whom intoxication is the farthest thing from their mind.

  39. 39
    NotMax says:

    @Gin & Tonic

    So old that remember the first attempt to market them, under the name Pluto Platter. Abject failure until they were later returned to the marketplace under the name Frisbee.

  40. 40

    @Mnemosyne:

    everyone’s favorite ocean-going mustelid

    THEY FOUND A LIVING SEA MINK???


    oh, everybody else’s favorite…

  41. 41
    frostys says:

    @Adam L Silverman: That was AWESOME!!11!!!!

    “I told ya once, ya hardon, you’re a wicked stupid fuck.”

  42. 42
    Mike in NC says:

    @Mary G: Loser Jr. Is apparently going through a nasty divorce, so maybe he repels all decent forms of life.

  43. 43
    Mnemosyne says:

    Someone else posted this earlier today, but writer David Simon has an open letter to the CEO of Twitter posted to his blog that is a fucking masterpiece of invective:

    https://davidsimon.com/a-fuckbonnet-for-our-time/

  44. 44
    NotMax says:

    @frostys

    Reminded that one of the actresses (a fine multi-talented one) saw on stage in NY this summer has the (unfortunate?) name of Imari Hardon.

  45. 45
    Mike in NC says:

    @Adam L Silverman: Meet SecDef Cotton, eager for a cakewalk war with Iran.

  46. 46
    B.B.A. says:

    So who’s the BJ-approved slate in the NY primaries tomorrow? I’m leaning slightly towards Nixon/Williams/Teachout, despite it having the distinct stench of a certain Vermont Senator, because Cuomo is such a Republican-enabling scumbag that Wilmerism almost feels like the lesser evil.

  47. 47
    JWL says:

    “They’re spraying this stuff on paper and either smoking it or eating it in the county jail,” he said. “Normal people can’t understand this.”

    My father had a friend who had been an army infantryman in the Pacific during WW2. He told my father that in some godforsaken patch of New Guinea jungle, he’d witnessed GI’s fight, kill, and die over possession of a working still that the Japanese tried to steal . That is, it was a fight devoid of any tactical sense whatsoever, with nothing on the line but who got the booze. The GI’s had a line of retreat open, too, which he claimed they doggedly refused to take. The Japanese wanted the still, but it meant more to the GI’s, so they stuck, fought for it, and prevailed…. aside from the guys who got shot, I mean. I bet everyone else involved celebrated that night with an extra ration of jungle juice.

  48. 48
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @frostys: Yep.

  49. 49
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @Mike in NC: He would not be my first pick.

  50. 50
    Mnemosyne says:

    @Major Major Major Major:

    I prefer ocean-going mustelids that weren’t hunted to extinction, thank you.

    Though it sounds like the main thing that saved the sea otters is that they’re on the Pacific Coast and just weren’t easily obtained in the early days of the Europeans exploiting the resources in the US and Canada.

    Though it was a near-run thing even then, extinction-wise.

  51. 51
    opiejeanne says:

    @Gin & Tonic: My ex son-in-law suffered a terrible injury playing disc golf. Twisted his nuts, lost one and part of the other. It can be a dangerous sport, even played casually.

    Still makes me cringe, but not too much. He was an asshole to our middle kid, emotional abuse, and then he left her.

  52. 52
    danielx says:

    Florida Man (and Woman) never disappoints.

    I know that every hold-my-beer dipshit in the country doesn’t live in Florida, it just seems that way.

  53. 53
    Mnemosyne says:

    @opiejeanne:

    I know that people can manage to injure themselves doing almost anything, but it takes a special kind of stupid to injure yourself that severely by throwing a plastic disc. It’s not even a contact sport!

  54. 54
    Jim, Foolish Literalist says:

    @Adam L Silverman: I think the other candidates are Jack Keane and Lindsey, who is rumored (among other things) to want either the Pentagon, Justice Dept or State. I don’t know anything about Keane but if trump (Pence, Pompeo or Bolton) like him, I’m deeply suspicious

  55. 55
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: Keane would be okay. He’s much, much more conservative than Mattis is politically, but he knows his business. Interestingly, it was reported during the 2016 campaign that he had a decent, solid relationship with Secretary Clinton when she was Secretary of State.
    https://www.nytimes.com/2016/04/24/magazine/how-hillary-clinton-became-a-hawk.html

  56. 56
    Bobby Thomson says:

    One of my old house mates worked at the local homeless shelter and told me horrifying stories about what guys used to get drunk; e.g., soaking bread in brake fluid and eating it.

  57. 57
    Mary G says:

    @Adam L Silverman: That article is full of Republican senators saying replacements for both Sessions and Mattis that are acceptable to both Trump and the Senate don’t exist and they should both stay. Somebody even said he’d have to pick a Democrat!

    He probably has someone wildly inappropriate in mind and they don’t trust him not to tweet the names out on impulse, or for distraction from bad news.

  58. 58
    NotMax says:

    Guess this 27-year-old is destined to retire to Florida.

    An illegal exotic-animal peddler was busted on Long Island with 11 lizards stashed in his car — including poisonous Gila monsters that were in the middle of escaping, officials said Tuesday. Source

    As for the other side of the globe,

    If you’ve ever been to a zoo, you’ll have thought about stealing a monkey. Everyone has. There’s something undeniably beguiling about their high-jinks and their squished little faces, their childish nature, and their wild spirit. And the fact they’re a perfect size to stuff in a tote bag.

    Few of us have ever had the courage to go through with it, though: to steal a monkey. And that may well be for the best. Because a 23-year-old New Zealander named John Casford almost died trying.

    John admits he was “high as a kite” when he bypassed an unsecured gate, broke through two padlocks and entered the monkey enclosure at Wellington Zoo. He had it in his mind that he was going to catch one of the zoo’s squirrel monkeys—a canopy-dwelling species from the Central and South Americas—and take it home to his girlfriend. The squirrel monkeys had other ideas. Source

  59. 59
    frostys says:

    @Adam L Silverman: I’ve watched it four times and I can’t stop laughing. Thanks for the break!

  60. 60

    @Mnemosyne:

    I prefer ocean-going mustelids that weren’t hunted to extinction, thank you.

    You would.

  61. 61
  62. 62

    @opiejeanne: In my head, I keep hearing this whole story being told by Tony Soprano. Like, deadpan.
    Maybe switch the last two sentences.

  63. 63
    Jim, Foolish Literalist says:

    @Mary G: interesting too that none of those GOP Senators seem to want to be trump’s AG– though I still think LG might do it if Sessions were pushed out

  64. 64
    NotMax says:

    Upsetting thought of the day.

    Children born after September 11, 2001 now start becoming eligible to enlist for the resultant war in Afghanistan.

  65. 65
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @Mary G: I believe they’re worried about a nomination for Mayor a noun, a verb, boy do I sound like a dumbass!!!!

  66. 66
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @frostys: It’s a great modified cover and an entertaining video.

  67. 67
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @NotMax: As someone once said about both the 100 Years War and the 30 Years War, the war in Afghanistan will be over by Christmas. Which Christmas, however, is anyone’s guess.

  68. 68
    Adam L Silverman says:

    You all have a great night. I’ve got some doggies that need some attention, especially because we’re experiencing a thunderstorm/monsoon combo.

  69. 69
    khead says:

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist:

    Narrator voice: Geoffrey Owens once bagged Susan Sarandon’s groceries.

  70. 70
  71. 71
    Mnemosyne says:

    @Major Major Major Major:

    What can I say? I wouldn’t write romance if I didn’t prefer a story with a happy ending.

  72. 72
    NotMax says:

    @NotMax

    Code fail. Fix.

    @Adam L. Silverman

    Doubtless there were members of the Roman senate who crowed that the war in Germania would be over by Saturnalia.

  73. 73
    Mart says:

    @PhoenixRising: I suffered posion oak retrieving a disc, so I understand the man’s motivation. Good ones cost about $20 bucks, and only one in a dozen has that special feel. A great game for old jackels; get to walk in the park, throw discs, and converse. Stoner boyfriends of my daughters taught me the game, and now I can beat most the youngs.

  74. 74
    GxB says:

    “When asked about the drugs, the woman told police, ‘It’s a windy day. It must have flown through the window and into my purse.'”

    She should’ve then deadpanned – “No collusion.”

  75. 75
    Ruckus says:

    @Mary G:
    So gators are smarter than your average drumpf.

  76. 76
    dopey-o says:

    These guys reeling in the gator are barefoot? Run away! Run away!

  77. 77
    Mnemosyne says:

    @dopey-o:

    Some folks’ll never lose a toe
    And then again, some folks’ll!

  78. 78
    J R in WV says:

    @Bobby Thomson:

    “…what guys used to get drunk…”

    As opposed to used to damaging their brains for ever….

  79. 79
    Mr. Mack says:

    Ahem. Disc golf is a huge past-time for a lot of people, and a competitive sport at higher levels. I was a touring disc golfer for a few years. Yes, in the old days, it was played by hippies and park rats exclusively. Now? Well I’ve played against lawyers, accountants, housewives, and even doctors. Is cannabis still a part? Yup…but not at the competitive levels. The sport has a well organized governing body, and even cigarettes are banned at top tier tourneys. Lastly, calling the discs Frisbees is a tas misleading. I’m well into my sixites, and I can throw a disc 400 ft on a good day. The pros can throw much further. Try doing that with a Frisbee. I could go on about it’s cultish appeal…but for now I just wanted to set the record straight.

  80. 80
    low-tech cyclist says:

    79 comments, and no ‘roach clip’ joke? Shame on you!

  81. 81
    low-tech cyclist says:

    @Mr. Mack:

    Lastly, calling the discs Frisbees is a tas misleading. I’m well into my sixites, and I can throw a disc 400 ft on a good day.

    Sure, you wouldn’t want to play competitive disc golf with a Frisbee.

    But to be fair, it’s only called ‘disc golf’ because ‘Frisbee’ is trademarked. I played (non-competitively) for years, and I never knew a soul who called it ‘disc golf,’ it was always ‘Frisbee golf,’ even if there wasn’t a Frisbee in sight.

Comments are closed.

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