Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Tick tock motherfuckers! Tick fucking tock!

The cruelty is the point; the law be damned.

You can’t attract Republican voters. You can only out organize them.

Wow, you are pre-disappointed. How surprising.

How do you get liars to care about the truth?

Historically it was a little unusual for the president to be an incoherent babbling moron.

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Deploy the moving finger of emphasisity!

All your base are belong to Tunch.

A snarling mass of vitriolic jackals

Good luck with your asparagus.

I did not have this on my fuck 2020 bingo card.

We have all the best words.

… makes me wish i had hoarded more linguine

Let me eat cake. The rest of you could stand to lose some weight, frankly.

Whoever he was, that guy was nuts.

They fucked up the fucking up of the fuckup!

It’s the corruption, stupid.

Accused of treason; bitches about the ratings. I am in awe.

Since when do we limit our critiques to things we could do better ourselves?

Where tasty lettuce and good mustard aren’t elitist.

Perhaps you mistook them for somebody who gives a damn – Nancy Pelosi

Reality always wins in the end.

Call the National Guard if your insurrection lasts more than four hours.

You are here: Home / Politics / Domestic Politics / Green Grass and White Squirrels Forever

Reader Interactions

95Comments

  2. 2.

    germy

    I like the drumstick wielding cartoon on your twitter portrait.

    I’ve thrown tantrums at mealtimes, which is why we turn off the news during dinner.

  4. 4.

    germy

    In addition to a strong social safety net, Sweden has a government that counters foreign attempts to interfere with its elections. Be like Sweden.
    Ahead of election, Sweden warns its voters against foreign disinformation – ABC News – https://t.co/dWdfXTCG6l via @ABC— Betty Cracker (@bettycrackerfl) September 9, 2018

    I always thought a strong social safety net would reduce the likelihood of far right parties getting a foothold, so the latest news is disturbing.

  6. 6.

    Another Scott

    @germy: Last I heard, the right-wing anti-immigrant party was expected to get 20-ish percent of the vote. Far too much, and dangerous in a parliamentary system with lots of factions, but quite a bit less than the 40-ish percent they got here recently. :-(

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  8. 8.

    debbie

    There are several white squirrels in my neighborhood, but none have lush tails like yours, Betty!

    P.S. Raspberry.

  9. 9.

    kindness

    How do you help yourself from feeding that albino squirrel constantly? That thing is so cute. We have mostly ground squirrels out here in the Central Valley. Ground squirrels remind me more of rats than tree squirrels so they don’t really thrill me. If you go by one of the rivers or up in the hills then you get more tree squirrels. I much prefer them.

  12. 12.

    donnah

    Also raspberry.

    And does that adorable squirrel turn pink if he’s out in the sun without sunscreen? ;-)

  15. 15.

    geg6

    Raspberry. Always and forever, raspberries.

    I’ve come down some kind of crud and have been miserable all weekend. Taking a rare sick day tomorrow. Something I very rarely do.

    My John is making a pear cake today with some of the pears from our trees. I’m skeptical, but hoping for delicious.

  17. 17.

    MagdaInBlack

    We have a family of squirrels that live somewhere in the rafters and cubby-holes of the shop. A couple years ago, while manuevering the ductwork, one of the babies fell out and mom did not come and get her, so I took her home and helped her along. She eventually joined the other squirrels here in the condo complex, but still shows up on occasion for breakfast ?
    We have black squirrels, as well, just beautiful shiny sleek little critters.

  19. 19.

    StringOnAStick

    @JPL: Wow, what a great link, and you can click and drag to see other parts of the world.

    We’re headed to Patagonia in about 2 weeks, for 2.5 weeks of hiking and some lodge to lodge light backpacking (no need to carry tents, sleeping bags or food). This will probably be my last major trip before I have to admit I really do need a knee replacement, but we’ll see how it goes. Fortunately the light backpacking portion doesn’t have huge elevation gains, around 2,000′ more or less each day.

    Our two orphan sister kitties hit their estimated 1 year old date this Thursday; I’m typing with one hand so the other can activate a string cluster toy. Using Werebear’s nomenclature, one’s an alpha and the other’s a beta, but mostly right now they are crazy teenagers. Such distinctly different personalities and yet they get along swimmingly. We’ve never had two before much less siblings, and two is so much fun!

  21. 21.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    hell hath no fury.…

    Rudy Giuliani’s ex to pen tell-all book about him and his career

    Page six link, warning! They say in the text of the piece that this may be a negotiating ploy with the divorce settlement, but I hope that doesn’t stop her. I think Rudi is as dirty as trump, money-wise, and I would so dearly love to see him in orange.

  23. 23.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    @raven: Green Grass and High Tides, The Outlaws

    one of my favorites, I hope my neighbors enjoy it as much as I do when I belt it out while doing yard work with headphones on

  28. 28.

    Ohio Mom

    There was a family of albino squirrels in the yard of our old babysitter. After a while, I got used to the view from her dining room and was only startled on the occasions a typically gray-brown one scampered through.

    The rain is finally abating here but now it is long pants and sweater weather. I miss summer already.

  31. 31.

    Elizabelle

    @TaMara (HFG): It’s the name of the album (of greatest hits), not the song title.

    I am just kinda surprised that Brian Jones lived long enough to be around for a greatest hits compilation.

  34. 34.

    jacy

    Raspberry!

    Felt like fresh fruit, so bought watermelon, grapes, apples, plums, bananas. May have gone a bit overboard.

    The significant other made some crazy good stuffed peppers the other night and we had sliced hothouse tomatoes and fresh avocado with a little salt and pepper and it was heavenly.

  39. 39.

    frosty

    Raspberry. Hands down the best berry. The previous owners left a thicket, much to my delight. The birds got to them this year before they were ripe and I didn’t get any. /pout/

  40. 40.

    Josie

    @MomSense: I typed in “what to do with large marijuana plants” on google and got multiple listings with advice. I honestly think you can find information on anything on the internet.

  42. 42.

    Ken

    Maybe the mutants have a different metabolism, but around here the gray squirrels are much fatter than that. It always amazes me that they survive our winters in those little nests they build, way up in the trees where the wind blows.

  44. 44.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    @raven: I hear it from time to time on the geezer rock station on Sirius. One of those “DJ needs a break” songs, I think. Not as well known as Freebird or the Allman Bros big hits from the Southern Rock boom, but still getting played now and then.
    I don’t know why I why I was thinking about Charlie Daniels the other day, but I can’t remember the last time I heard a CDB song, and I used to have three or four of their albums. I know he’s gone nutty, and that’s not why he fell out of my rotation, but it’s probably why I haven’t put him back in.

    Does “The Devil Went Down to Georgia” mean anything to non-country fans under forty?

  49. 49.

    Barbara

    Apricot is my favorite flavor for cake filling, but raspberry has a tangier flavor that provides a better counterpoint to the sweetness of cake and frosting than strawberry.

  50. 50.

    MagdaInBlack

    @Josie:

    Thirty states and the District of Columbia currently have laws broadly legalizing marijuana in some form.

    Cannabis is like porn in that far more people indulge than will admit to it.

  51. 51.

    FlipYrWhig

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: Pfft, forget the Charlie Daniels Band, I’m not sure Stairway To Heaven or Another Brick in the Wall mean anything to anyone under 40. It was a few years back now that I mentioned Stairway in class and got nothing but blank stares from the assembled 19-year-olds.

  53. 53.

    TaMara (HFG)

    @raven: And still…rings no bells. I suppose it’s because it was a background song in my pre-teen days, before I started paying attention, listened to by all my hip and cool aunts and uncles.

  55. 55.

    J R in WV

    There are a lot of black squirrels up in NE Ohio, they overwhelmed the grey guys totally, and are all I saw when I visited 2nd cousins up there with my Dad years ago.

    MomSense :: Giant marijuana plants on the deck and you don’t know what to do with them? Smoke ’em, baby!!!

  58. 58.

    StringOnAStick

    @Thoughtful David: Yes, it will be cold but there will be a lot less tourists so therefore more wildlife. We’re confirmed “shoulder season” travelers and also have been mountaineering since our 20’s so the weather isn’t an issue for us; we’re used to winds and cold given where we live and the things we do. I’m a bit concerned about the other two couples who will be going with us though; yes they’ve done some stuff like Mt Rainier and Killimanjaro and always with guides, but I know one of the women doesn’t have wind/rain pants because she’s an odd shape. She told me yesterday she was just planning on wearing tights, which in wind and rain is utterly inadequate and I told her so; wind can suck the heat out of you at a much faster rate than most realize. I gave her a set of Goretex bibs I made several years ago to look at and told her I could whip up a pair for her but she needs to decide NOW so I have time to get it done, plus a measurement session. I don’t want to be a pest about it, but I don’t want one of our group to be so miserable and cold that it gets dangerous or at least just zero fun for her.

  64. 64.

    J R in WV

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist:

    So a long time ago, my Grandma, who was not a country music fan at all, gave us tix to a Marshall Tucker / Charlie Daniels show, probably in like 1975… it was a fun show, Charlie could really play the fiddle, and the song wasn’t 100,000 repetitions old yet.

    Where DID she git those tix? What a wonderful grandma she was, played ragtime piano by ear. That was her music, ragtime. She won a talent contest playing the calliope on the Mississippi Queen a long LONG time ago!

  65. 65.

    Shell

    I vote raspberry too.On the Great British Baking Show the contestants have to make their own jam. They also, in other challenges, have to make their own puff pastry and phyllo dough. Some conveniences are worth it.

  66. 66.

    Thoughtful David

    @StringOnAStick:
    Have you ever read Uttermost Part of the Earth” by Lucas Bridges? Fascinating book, though hard to find being out of print. Try interlibrary loan. Worth the read.

  69. 69.

    Steve in the ATL

    @SiubhanDuinne: attention B-J readers: memorial service cancelled! Congrats service to be held at Chili’s on Peachtree Parkway.

    Note to self: replace black balloons with green ones.

  71. 71.

    Betty Cracker

    @Steve: I did! I only wear hats while boating, but it’s my go-to hat now. Next, I have to get a Boston U shirt with a terrier on it.

  73. 73.

    Just One More Canuck

    We have a variety of squirrels in the forest behind our house. One of them, a little red squirrel, is a real asshole. He chases all of the other, much bigger squirrels away, and will even chase after and yell at the birds who come to our feeders. He tried going after a duck who was grooming himself on our lawn after taking a swim in the neighbour’s pool, but he thought better of it after the duck didn’t react

  77. 77.

    zhena gogolia

    In college a bunch of my friends decided they were going to jump out of a plane. I was not even slightly tempted to join in. The jump was scheduled for a certain early morning. That morning I got a call from one of them asking if I would accompany him to the emergency room to check out his ankle. As we sat in the waiting area, gradually one by one, about six more of them came limping in. I’m glad this wasn’t SD’s experience.

  79. 79.

    JoeyJoeJoe

    @FlipYrWhig: No (recognition of) Stairway? Denied! People old enough to have seen Wayne’s World have at least heard of the song.

    Also include me as someone under 40 who has heard The Devil Went Down To Georgia

  82. 82.

    opiejeanne

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: Yes. My youngest was in a tap number when she was 12. She was Johnny. It was awful (the dancing was great and not just for a bunch of pre-teens)) but won all sorts of awards. Ensemble, half cowboys, half devils. The cowboys wore those ridiculous oversized foam cowboy hats. She’s 35 and I don’t think she’s forgiven the teacher for that yet.

  85. 85.

    opiejeanne

    @StringOnAStick: You’re a good friend. Keep at her. I can’t imagine being on a trip like that and being cold and wet and miserable the entire time.

    You’re also a lot tougher than I am these days, but maybe since the appendix is gone and my right hip has stopped having a “pinched nerve” in it, I might be able to start hiking again. I didn’t have classic appendicitis; it was a cyst that was growing at a rapid rate and making the appendix lean backwards against things it shouldn’t have been against.

  89. 89.

    J R in WV

    @Immanentize:

    And I do know what you mean…

    Pretty sure she played ragtime, probably Maple Leaf Rag, one of the more famous and tricky to play songs from the end of the riverboat era. She grew up in a little riverboat town in KY in the very early 1900s. Took lessons way back, but mostly played by ear and picked out tunes that were popular when she was young on her piano.

    Regarding that skinny white squirrel… this time of year, everyone wearing fur in Florida is probably underweight, don’t you think? He’ll pick up some more weight when it starts to cool down a little …

  91. 91.

    Gvg

    Florida squirrels are skinnier and have less fur than northern same species. Ours don’t ever hibernate, and thus don’t pack on the weight. Also our fruit and nut plants don’t produce a whole bunch of food just at the end of fall. The ripening is more spread out, with some September, some October, etc and including December, January and February. That is also why our trees that change color don’t make as big a statement. The colors are a few at a time over months. I think our best red leaves are Shumardi Oaks that usually change in February.

  92. 92.

    Juju

    @Shell: Puff pastry isn’t difficult to make, only time consuming. I’d never attempt phyllo dough.

    Even though I’m sure the point is moot, I vote raspberry as well. I had to look up a Victoria Sandwich cake. Do you put whipped cream with the preserve filling? I’d put some triple sec or Cointreau in the raspberry preserves if the recipe doesn’t call for it. I like how the orange flavor cuts the sweetness of the preserves. It looks like an interesting cake, but where’s the chocolate?

  93. 93.

    cope

    @Gvg: My wife and I came to Florida for our honeymoon 9 years before we ended up moving here. She saw a couple of squirrels while we were walking around downtown Winter Park. Used to Illinois and Colorado varieties, she recoiled in fear and asked me if they were rabid. 38 years on that story still generates chuckles.

  95. 95.

    Denali

    @SD:
    Congratulations, I am so impressed.

    @String on a Stick,

    Be ready for very strong winds. And read Bruce Chatwin’s classic In Patagonia. It is amazing. The book and Patagonia.

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