(Zippo) Lighter Side Open Thread: BURN YER NIKES!!!

The tweets Pharyngula posted turned out to be a “hoax” (joke). So are these, but aren’t they glorious?

Plenty of 100% genuine all-‘Murkan stupidity to go around, folks!


96 replies
  1. 1
    TenguPhule says:

    Bring on the meteor. Just do it.

  2. 2
    debbie says:

    Guess they’re really showing us yet again, aren’t they?

  3. 3
    MomSense says:

    I just bought a new pair of nike frees for my kid. His older brother just bought a new pair as well. I think it’s hilarious that these right wing idiots are burning shoes they’ve already paid for.

  4. 4
    lamh36 says:

    ‪A different angle and you can see clearly how nice and non confrontational Mr Guttenberg was and it was AFTER he introduced himself that Kavanaugh turned away‬

    Watch this. Then watch it again.

    And then re-read all the puff pieces about how Brett Kavanaugh is “so nice”.

    He wouldn’t even shake Fred Guttenberg’s hand, whose daughter was murdered at Parkland.


  5. 5

    Conservative boycotts go back further than 2003, there was the boycott of The Beatles in 1965 when John said The Beatles were more popular than Jesus.

  6. 6
    FlipYrWhig says:

    Some loony friend of a friend on FB was saying “I know a lot of people who aren’t going to buy Nikes anymore.” It’s not worth wasting energy on her kind but I wanted very much to say “I know a lot of people who refuse to shop at Walmart and yet there still seem to be plenty of Walmarts.” Like their very stupid leader they don’t have a good sense of the differences between large numbers.

  7. 7
    geg6 says:

    I’m so old, I remember when conservatives threatened boycotts, advertisers shook in their boots. I’m sure Rush and Alex yearn for those good old days.

  8. 8
    Eric Schrader says:

    I’m behind Nike on this despite their obvious profit motive. I’m OK with that corresponding with taking the correct stand. Just asking, and maybe I’m wrong, but Nike doesn’t have a endorsement deal with the NFL do they?

  9. 9
    Gozer says:


    What a fuckin’ worm.

  10. 10
    Mnemosyne says:

    Nike shoes don’t fit my duck feet, but I think I like this hoodie, even if I am a little old for it:


    I’m also tempted by a pair of the custom corduroy Chucks, but I’ll have to look at them on a bigger screen with better color values.

    I hate wearing logos, but I’m willing to do it for Kaep and Serena. ✊🏻

  11. 11
    trollhattan says:

    4872 hours of “Hey y’all, watch this” will exacerbate America’s labor shortage, but what are you gonna do.

    In other news, don’t go to sleep on the West Nile virus!

    Edwin “Ed” Marston, a physicist turned environmental journalist and political organizer, died Aug. 31 in Grand Junction, Colorado, of complications of West Nile virus. He was 78 years old. He is survived by his wife and working partner, Betsy Marston, of Paonia, Colorado.

    Our county is a frequent WNV hotspot so we’re always nervous reading about folks who contract it and don’t survive. Along with staying frosty and keeping hydrated, remember the DEET.

    Mr. Marston was publisher of High Country News, essential reading for anybody interested in Western environmental issues. He had one delicious victory you all will appreciate, bigly.

    Marston was a burr in the side of the U.S. Forest Service during the 1990s. One of his notable editorials was headlined: “It’s time to clear cut the Forest Service.” He was also a commercial developer of Paonia’s two-block downtown and a fierce opponent of anyone — no matter how well funded and powerful — who used political influence to try to close off access to wilderness. Between 2012 and 2015, Marston fought a drawn-out battle with billionaire Bill Koch, who tried to use a congressional land swap to block public access to the Raggeds Wilderness and its elk herd. Ultimately Marston blocked Koch.

  12. 12
    Brachiator says:

    I guess it’s Stupid Week or Month.

    Earlier, California Democratic Party Chairman Eric Bauman walked back calls Monday for a boycott of the burger chain In-N-Out over the fast food chain’s donations to the state’s Republican Party. He now says he never really called for a boycott, despite this Twitter message.

    “Et tu In-N-Out? Tens of thousands of dollars donated to the California Republican Party… it’s time to #BoycottInNOut – let Trump and his cronies support these creeps… perhaps animal style!”

    This is minuscule compared to the Nike butt-hurt of right wing idiots, and clearly has been pulled back. I only wish that this guy had spent a little more time in suggesting something that might get out the vote (and the yoot vote), especially in areas where there are possibly contested elections.

  13. 13
    MomSense says:


    I may have had a mild case over the weekend. Had the rash, headache, aches, etc. still tired today but much better than a few days ago.

  14. 14
    patrick II says:

    I guess Nike figured more young urban folk who might sympathize with Kaepernick wear Nike than old white republicans. Except for Nike golf shoes of course.

  15. 15
    patrick II says:

    @patrick II:

    When they get concerned enough about social justice that they stand up for worker’s rights in their foreign shoe factories I’ll be even more impressed.

  16. 16
    feebog says:

    This whole idea of destroying merchandise you have already purchased baffles me. The company already made it’s profit. You might as well shoot yourself in the foot and then say that’ll show the bastards.

  17. 17
    Mnemosyne says:

    If lamh36 is around, I found a new GIF for her 😂


  18. 18
    SiubhanDuinne says:

    This is not about Nike or Kaepernick, but the thread is fairly fresh so maybe it will get seen.

    My all-time bestest favourite blogger over at Yr Wonket is Evan Hurst, who does things with words like a common Betty Cracker, and he did a liveblog of Day One of the Kavanawwww Hearings that is worth its weight in gold snark. Read and rejoice.

  19. 19
    Mnemosyne says:


    When I found out that Camelbak is now owned by an arms manufacturer, I covered up their logos on my water bottle with glittery duct tape … but I still use the bottle.

  20. 20
    Mnemosyne says:

    @patrick II:

    IMO, this is actually kind of a big deal: both this and the swift backing-down of the New Yorker from their Bannon headlining show that WE are now the ideal market — anti-racists and anti-fascists. WE are now the ones that corporations don’t dare offend or they will face OUR wrath in the form of boycotts.

    And the smarter corporations — like Disney and Nike — have actually started catering to us. Because WE are where the money is, not the 1 percent.

  21. 21


    You might as well shoot yourself in the foot and then say that’ll show the bastards.

    This concept is…………….not unheard of, in GOP circles.

  22. 22
    JPL says:

    If they are that upset, they should buy Nike’s just to burn them.

  23. 23
    PenAndKey says:

    Wait a tick, Michelle Malkin is still alive? I haven’t heard from her since the days of Dubya.

  24. 24
    Jay says:

    @patrick II:


    Nike has actually become a Global Leader in Ethical Conditions in Supply Chain Management.

  25. 25
    Starfish says:

    This video of someone destroying their totally real Nike pillowcase illustrates John Cole’s tweet well.

  26. 26
    Chyron HR says:

    “Ah cut off mah Nicky swooshes!”

    Won’t his socks keep falling down now?

  27. 27
    zhena gogolia says:

    Wow, I bought a Nike T-shirt because I liked the color and it fit. I had no idea it would become a political statement when I went to the gym. Goody!

  28. 28
    TenguPhule says:


    This whole idea of destroying merchandise you have already purchased baffles me.

    Reality doesn’t have to make sense. unfortunately.

  29. 29
    Brooklyn Dodger says:

    @SiubhanDuinne: Gracias chica! That’s a great ride!

  30. 30
    philp says:

    Michelle Malkin is just pissed that Kaep got an endorsement deal before she did. She hasn’t figured out that the prison corp CEOs don’t do things like that.

  31. 31
    Steve in the ATL says:

    @patrick II: I have Nike golf shoes!

    Proud be an inner city youth of color.

  32. 32
    chopper says:


    “I know a lot of people who aren’t going to buy Nikes anymore.”

    oh no, a bunch of internet tough guys who get winded licking stamps are no longer going to buy $100 running shoes. nike’s in the soup now! those guys were literally keeping the fitness industry afloat!

  33. 33
    Sister Rail Gun of Warm Humanitarianism says:

    @feebog: “If I keep burning their stuff, I’ll eventually find all their Horcruxes!”

  34. 34

    @geg6: I’m so old I remember when the Dixie Chicks had to disappear for three years because they criticized W.

  35. 35
    chopper says:


    it’s always stupid week or month. sigh.

  36. 36
    hueyplong says:

    @🐾BillinGlendaleCA: Yeah, after that 1965 backlash The Beatles were never heard from again.

  37. 37
    Mnemosyne says:


    Okay, that made me feel a little better after the whole “OMG DEMOCRATS ARE ROLLING OVER FOR KAVANAUGH!” freakout earlier today, because now I can see that, no, they were not and seem to have been pretty united in telling Kavanaugh that he’s an untrustworthy asshole, even if he keeps a strict carpool schedule.

  38. 38
    philpm says:

    My comment got stuck in moderation. I think because I screwed up my nym.

  39. 39
    Starfish says:

    @Mnemosyne: I told someone that I went to high school with that I am going to write a letter to my newspaper about what a great Supreme Court justice he will make on the basis that he refs Little League.

  40. 40
    Honus says:

    @Mnemosyne: this. The republican majority in the senate represents 18% of the country. Hillary got three million more votes. The most prosperous and most productive parts of the country (“coastal elites” and “urban areas”) vote overwhelmingly democratic. Corporations are ahead of the curve in recognizing this.

  41. 41
    Honus says:

    @Steve in the ATL: yeah, me too. I’m a 63 year old white lawyer. Who went to Washington & Lee.

  42. 42
    zhena gogolia says:


    Thank you! That is literally the only way I can read about this hearing! Stellar!

  43. 43
    AxelFoley says:


    h billionaire Bill Koch, who tried to use a congressional land swap to block public access to the Raggeds Wilderness and its elk herd. Ultimately Marston blocked Koch.

    So he was a Kochblocker?

  44. 44
    Jeffro says:

    The comments on the drone strike thread still have me in tears. Tony Posnanski is hysterical (in a good way)

    “BETRAYED BY BIG BUSINESS!!” will be the next new thing with the RWNJs, believe it. All these dang bidnesses capitulatin’ to leftie causes and the yoots and shit…


  45. 45
    Gravenstone says:

    The guy who has the locker next to me at work has an extensive collection of Nike shoes, which he wears daily. He’s also a gun fondling wingnut who keeps our lunchroom filled with NRA propaganda mags. I’ll be curious to see whether some new footwear shows up in coming days.

  46. 46
    Steve in the ATL says:

    @Honus: I had forgotten that you were a fellow General, even though your posts clearly demonstrate that you are not unmindful of the future. I was in the first coed class, first for the school and for me. That was interesting….

    Shocked SHOCKED that you are a lawyer. I don’t think more than one third of my class went to law school.

  47. 47
    Jeffro says:

    Jemele Hill also on fire with the anti-anti-Kaep takedowns. Youch!

  48. 48
    MCA1 says:

    @patrick II: As an approaching old white guy who golfs with plenty of already old white guys, I’m here to tell you that old white guys by and large don’t wear Nike golf shoes to begin with. Despite Tiger Woods, Nike’s penetration of the golf market has never really reached its full potential. Their golf balls still don’t come anywhere close to competing with Titleist or Callaway in either quality or sales; Footjoy completely dominates the footwear market; there are a number of club manufacturers who still outpace them; and in apparel Nike’s at best a fringe player – Under Armour’s taken a larger portion of the non-luxury but a step above Cutter & Buck or no label stuff market. No country club golfer would be caught dead in Nike gear, and the muni crowd prefers UA.

  49. 49
    NotMax says:


    Donald Wildmon, who still pops up periodically to wag his accusatory finger.

    @Major Major Major Major


    As you’re in semi-regular contact with Alain, could you pass something along to him about which he may be unaware?

    The Recent Posts and Recent Comments widgets remain active and up-to-date on the blog’s 404 page.

    Thanks in advance.

  50. 50
    MCA1 says:

    @MCA1: And SteveintheATL and Honus prove me wrong before I can even complete my post. I stand corrected. My personal demographic is not far from theirs, but I rarely see Nike shoes on the course or in the locker room near me.

  51. 51
  52. 52
    HAL says:

    I’m going to go out on a limb and guess Nike knows who their paying customers are, and wouldn’t have done this if they really thought they would be in long term trouble. I hope this is the beginning of a turnaround for Kaepernick

  53. 53
    NotMax says:


    Strictly FYI, M⁴, screenshot taken a few minutes ago.

  54. 54

    @NotMax: wouldn’t you prefer to have it there as an undocumented feature?

  55. 55
  56. 56
    NotMax says:


    Does Nike make kneepads?


  57. 57
    Mnemosyne says:


    I wonder if it’s more of a regional thing or an age thing? Nikes first became a big nationwide brand around when I was in 8th grade, and I turn 50 next year. Everyone wanted Nikes because they were the cool new thing, and Air Jordans only cemented that for people around my age and younger.

    Of course, they were always a “Black” brand — one of their most famous ad campaigns was directed by and co-starred Spike Lee right after Do The Right Thing premiered. So, in a way, this is them getting back to their roots.

  58. 58
    Steve in the ATL says:

    @MCA1: @MCA1: exceptions prove the rule! Plus Washington and Lee is a super ghetto school.

    In my case, I have flat feet and old man knees, and Nike golf shoes work better for me than the Footjoys I’ve had.

    But you are absolutely right that Nike is not a player in the golf world. My sticks are Pings, plus a couple of Cleveland wedges and Callaway metal woods, my (golf) balls are Titleist, my clothes are…I’m not sure exactly but they aren’t Nike!

    Nike peaked in the golf world when Tiger’s putt hung on the lip for a moment, with the swoosh facing the camera as if placed by Nike’s marketing department, then dropped into the hole. I’m sure many Nike executives experienced spontaneous orgasms at that moment. Since then it’s been all downhill. Or from the second cut, if you prefer.

  59. 59
    lamh36 says:

    @Mnemosyne: Ha! I image that one! it’s one of my favs esp for RWNJ snowflakes 😂😂

  60. 60
    NotMax says:

    @Major Major Major Major

    As Alain has beefed about them being major disruptors re: site performance, thought he ought to be informed that they are not turned off everywhere.

  61. 61
    Jay says:

    BTW, driftglass rips up Chuck Todd’s mealymouthing today,


  62. 62
    Steve in the ATL says:


    Of course, they were always a “Black” brand

    Ironic for a company based in Oregon!

  63. 63
    burnspbesq says:

    @Eric Schrader:

    Nike doesn’t have a endorsement deal with the NFL do they?

    Take a look at the sleeves of any current NFL jersey.

  64. 64
    Mandalay says:


    I’m going to go out on a limb and guess Nike knows who their paying customers are

    Right. The notion that Nike did this without researching the potential downside and crunching the numbers is laughable.

    And there is no going back for Nike. It’s not like when Coca Cola screwed up with New Coke, and just brought back the old one. Nike is now tied to Kaepernick and what he stands for. They can’t ever renounce that and walk away (which is a wonderful thing).

  65. 65
    NotMax says:

    Queeg mode, activate.

    In recent conversations with confidants, President Donald Trump has added FBI Director Christopher Wray to his list of key members of his administration whom he complains about, three people familiar with the discussions tell NBC News.

    Trump has criticized Wray as another figure in the Justice Department who is not protecting his interests — and is possibly out to undermine his presidency, these people said. Source

  66. 66
    burnspbesq says:

    @zhena gogolia:

    NIKE shorts and a Beto t-shirt.

  67. 67
    Jay says:

    @Steve in the ATL:

    Nike started in Track and Field, then Basketball.

  68. 68
    burnspbesq says:


    Who went to Washington & Lee.

    Undergrad, law school, or both?

    I was fucking miserable for every single minute of the year I spent at that place.

  69. 69

    @NotMax: I’ll be sure to remember to let him know.

  70. 70
    Mnemosyne says:


    I was pretty sure you had it, but Inwpuld hate for you to miss any.

    When I looked at it a second time, I started to wonder if that same actress had a small part on the first season of “The Good Place.” We were binge re-watching it this weekend and the commercial actress looks like a younger version of the actress who played Nina on S1 (and early S2) of “The Good Place.” 🤔

  71. 71
    MCA1 says:

    @Steve in the ATL: From W&L, I’m sort of surprised you don’t golf in vintage Duxbak shorts and Croakies. So very urban and yankee.

    I was thinking of that exact moment as the high water mark of Nike’s golf efforts (except it was a chip). Things went downhill irrevocably when they signed Rory McIlroy to a big $$ deal and then his game went downhill because their clubs sucked.

  72. 72
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Steve in the ATL: Jebus, there are more of you around here?

  73. 73
    Steve in the ATL says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: you have your LU backup, and we have ours!

  74. 74
    Steve in the ATL says:

    @MCA1: I’m from the Southern wing. Just today I put up my seersucker golf shorts until next year. [sniffle]

  75. 75
    Miss Bianca says:

    @trollhattan: Yeah, the news that Ed had died was a blow for those of us who knew him. He was a good man, a great publisher, and a fine public servant. One of those guys – kind of like Bill Clinton, from what I’ve heard – who had that knack of focusing on you as if what you were saying was the most interesting thing he was going to hear all day.

    And yeah – West Nile virus is a bitch. I know more than one person on the Western Slope of CO whose health has been seriously fucked up by it.

  76. 76
    Ruckus says:

    Just dug out my one Nike shirt.
    I may have to purchase more. Just for the fuck conservative bullshit angle as I have plenty of workout wear. I’ll never run out, no question.

  77. 77
    GxB says:


    Nike shoes don’t fit my duck feet,

    Same problem here. I’ve owned two pair in my entire life, the first I laid out way more money than I should have, then gave ’em a second shot several years later. In both cases, within 3 days the pinky toe side on both feet cramped to the point of agony. It’s been nothing but New Balance EE wides since. Yep, I’m one of those aging white guys in NB’s you hear about.

    I do own a fair bit of Nike stock though, and it has split twice since I bought it. Hell, let it split again… to own the libs… (or something like that…)

  78. 78
    Ruckus says:

    @Omnes Omnibus:
    I’ve met Steve in the ATL.
    I doubt there are any more like him in the whole world.

    Least I hope not//////

  79. 79
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Steve in the ATL: At least z_g had enough sense not to go to law school.

  80. 80
    Ruckus says:

    Maybe we should start a duck feet club.
    Hell, here’s 3 members right off the bat.

  81. 81
    Ruckus says:

    @Omnes Omnibus:
    Is it the law school or is it the decision to be a lawyer in the first place?
    I’ve known more than a few outside BJ and, well let’s just leave it at that.

  82. 82
    Miss Bianca says:

    @SiubhanDuinne: OMG, I had to put my glass of cider down for this, because I was seriously afraid I was going to do a spit-take all over the screen. Right about the time I got to this gem:

    Also are his cheeks full of seeds he is storing for the winter? Does he eat his rodent seeds with ketchup the same way he eats his pasta? Unfortunately we don’t have the documents so we JUST DON’T KNOW.

  83. 83
    GxB says:

    @hueyplong: A couple guys I was in a band with years back were real weird about the Beatles. Made sense when you knew they were backwoods Roman Catholics. Apparently John burned their sky daddy pretty bad. FWIW – they were mostly great guys otherwise, just, uhm, rustic in more ways than one.

    We got a book. Well, except we don’t have to wish.

  84. 84
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Ruckus: Simply deciding to go to law school is proof that one is barking mad. I also chose to go to OCS and jump out of planes. Something is very, very wrong with me.

  85. 85
    Steve in the ATL says:

    @Ruckus: management side labor lawyers who are yellow dog democrats is a are breed, but I assume you are referring to my abrasive personality and uncouth nature.

  86. 86
    Ruckus says:

    Stupid kids never really understand what happens if your wish comes true.

  87. 87
    Steve in the ATL says:

    @Steve in the ATL: rare breed, you stupid phone and stupid website without an edit function!

  88. 88
    Ruckus says:

    @Steve in the ATL:
    Whatever makes your socks go up and down man.

    And I hadn’t noticed the personality at all.

  89. 89
    J R in WV says:


    Conservative boycotts go back further than 2003, there was the boycott of The Beatles in 1965 when John said The Beatles were more popular than Jesus.

    I remember that!! That boycott destroyed the band…. what was their name again? The Deadles? no… something like that tho… // ;-)

    The holy rollers did bonfires of Beatles records, expensive collector’s items today, that they had paid for. If they had kept them they would be worth a small fortune today. But NO !!!

  90. 90
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Ruckus: So it was the uncouth nature then?

  91. 91
    Ruckus says:

    @Omnes Omnibus:
    I sort of thought it was the decision.
    I lived in an apt building in the mid 70s and there were 4 or 5 guys who all went or had gone to the same law school. I helped my neighbor study for the CA bar and without ever stepping foot inside a law school understood the questions better. But I was in pre med at the time so I’m not sure the decision process is an issue with only lawyers. (Guy got a job with Texaco legal dept. so he had something on the ball. Also a lot of fun, put himself through college and law school playing the ponies.)

  92. 92
    Ruckus says:

    @Omnes Omnibus:
    He may be uncouth by southern bell tea time standards but I was in the navy. We have no standards for couth. If they did the entire navy would consist of 8 people.

  93. 93
    Ruckus says:

    @Omnes Omnibus:
    Nothing wrong with jumping out of airplanes.

    If they are on fucking FIRE!

  94. 94
    J R in WV says:


    It’s not like when Coca Cola screwed up with New Coke, and just brought back the old one.

    Coke had a plan, a strategy, even with that whole thing. New Coke was never intended to replace “old Coke”. And Coke Classic isn’t the same recipe as original Coke — it uses high fructose corn syrup instead of sugar.

    Which was the whole goal of the project, to replace more expensive sugar with cheap liquid gold corn syrup, thereby improving the profit margins. All about the $$$ !!!

  95. 95
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Ruckus: Mine were perfectly good.

  96. 96
    JAFD says:

    @GxB: Another duckfoot here. Fortunately live short ride from New Balance outlet store at Jersey Gardens.
    Will say that a couple of years ago, retail in downtown Newark was exclusively ugly stores selling cheap crap to poor people. Nike opened store, attractive and well stocked, only place selling Stuff Middle-Class People Wanted. Look in occasionally, seem to be doing good business, target demographic about five decades younger than I….

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