That God Damned Parade

Every time I think about it it just infuriates me. Only someone who has never spent a minute in the military or who has no friends who have ever served would think this shit is a good idea. From the top to the bottom it’s a ginormous pain in the ass.

Logistically, it’s a god damned nightmare. We’re talking interruption of training and maintenance schedules that have been in place for a LONG time- officers from the company level on up to regimental have been planning training and field exercises for at least a year in advance. The logistics of getting everyone to the parade, billeting and feeding, fueling, staging areas, security, etc. And that doesn’t even get into what track vehicles do to civilian streets. Then at the lower levels it’s just a fucking giant god damn hot poker up the ass- multiple inspections, extra time preparing, etc. And I’m missing about a gazillion details.

All to feed the ego of some pompous narcissist who needs to compensate for his tiny dick.

125 replies
  1. 1
    The Midnight Lurker says:

    Trump can have his parade… in hell!

  2. 2
    lamh36 says:

    I love that we can look forward to at the very least one ranty thread from you a day Mr Cole…LOL.

    Well that is if we don’t alreay follow your wacky, ranty tweeting all day…

    Or ur unusual TMI deep thoughts tweets at night…lol

  3. 3
    Shell says:

    From the post below:

    is a letdown for QAnon believers, who had become convinced that the parade would mark a celebration of Trump arresting the global pedophile cabal

    Jesus, I cant keep up!

  4. 4
    Platonailedit says:

    Courtesy I can’t take any more of that clinton drama mofo morons.

  5. 5

    probably one of the big reasons why the costs went up. they calculated in all of the personnel and travel requirements along with all the other stuff, and saw it balloon from the 20 million they promised to the 90 million we have (for now).

    you’d think rich people would have a better sense of how things cost, but no many of them don’t. they’re too busy spending someone else’s money.

  6. 6
    The Midnight Lurker says:

    A few days ago I was torturing Trumpanzees on another site. They were posting that QAnon is a ‘liberal conspiracy’ designed by Hillary and Obama and the ‘Deep State’ to discredit Trump. But ‘Q’ is a totally real person.
    Wasn’t Q a bad guy on that reboot of Star Trek?

  7. 7
    raven says:

    Soooo, no one told you it was off?

  8. 8
  9. 9
    Anne Laurie says:

    @The Midnight Lurker:

    Trump can have his parade… in hell!

    You’re thinking of what’s gonna happen when all the other Republicans get together, after the Big Treason Trial, to explain that Trump was only a minor employee, little more than a coffee boy, they were all very busy people and didn’t really have a chance to even meet the guy before he was ignominously shite-canned.

    It’ll feel like hell to Trump, but us sane people are gonna enjoy *that* parade! — and salute it with a rhetorical fusillade of aged vegetables and weaponized elderly raw eggs…

  10. 10
    Anne Laurie says:

    @raven: Oh, c’mon… if Cole had to read his own blog, where would he have the time to write up these fine rants?

  11. 11
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    And I’m missing about a gazillion details.

    Someone thinking that it would be a good idea to coat all the tracked vehicles with a thin layer of baby oil so that they would shine and then the next time you got to the field having everything covered in a layer slimy mud that was almost impossible to wash off.

    No, it was NOT my idea.

  12. 12

    @The Midnight Lurker: did you just call Next Generation “that reboot of Star Trek”?

    Also, no.

  13. 13
    raven says:

    @Anne Laurie: My bad. . .

  14. 14
    boatboy_srq says:

    @The Midnight Lurker: Q just didn’t think humans were civilised. Not an advanced race.

    These Reichwingnuts keep proving him right.

  15. 15
    John Cole says:

    @raven: I know it is off, it was Anne Laurie’s post that triggered me again.

  16. 16
    boatboy_srq says:

    @Shell: How soon before one of them tells us Blade Runner is a documentary?

  17. 17
    raven says:

    Lima Charlie

  18. 18
    Platonailedit says:

    @Anne Laurie:

    Basic cole mantra: fuck the jackals.

  19. 19
    jl says:

    OK, how about a special parade that consists of a shiny tank, going around in circles with Cole is sweaty fatigues standing up out of the hatch, giving Trump the finger, while waving a sparkler, with a boombox belting out Deadhead songs while Cole screams the lyrics?

    Mattis can explain to Trump that, though very few people know it, traditionally, that is how the US military does those kinds of parades.

    So, that is my bright idea how to get the damned thing over with at minimum expense. Would just need to patch up a hole in the street where the tank ground itself through the pavement and into the dirt, and whatever Cole’s and some tank driver’s rates are.

    That is the best I can do for now. I try to help and be patriotic.

  20. 20
    raven says:

    @jl: Deadhead songs?

  21. 21
    raven says:

    @raven: I can tell your future, just looks what’s in you hand. . .

  22. 22
    jl says:

    @raven: Well, Cole can sing whatever he wants. Maybe some late Johnny Cash or Public Enemy, or whatever he feels like. He can make his own mix tape for the parade.

  23. 23
    hilts says:



    Why did you refer to John Brennan as a putz earlier this week?

  24. 24
    MomSense says:

    I just think it shows how chicken shit trump and company are. These tough talkers were terrified of Omarosa FFS.

    They wanted to preside over marching men and tanks to make them feel strong and powerful.

  25. 25
    Squid696 says:

    As a former submariner I was fortunate that I rarely had to march. Marching in this parade would completely suck.

  26. 26
    jl says:

    @raven: Just an idea. Or, maybe Big Boss Man would be good. Whatever JGC wants to sing.

    Jimmy Reed – Big Boss Man

  27. 27
    raven says:

    @Squid696: Not even at Great Lakes?

  28. 28
  29. 29
    jl says:

    @Squid696: WTF, Trump wants a submarine in it too? No wonder it’s been delayed.

    Probably he didn’t see a sub in NK, Uncle Vlad’s place or Paris, so he wants something special.

  30. 30
    geg6 says:

    Tell truth, Cole. Jesus, what a coward and total asshole he is.

  31. 31
    jl says:

    @Timurid: BJ blog needs to make it happen.

  32. 32
    Ruckus says:

    Those marching men and tanks would be there for building up his ego, an impossible job of course. She is there to wipe the floor with him and quite likely has what it takes to get the job done. And he knows it.

  33. 33
    geg6 says:

    @The Midnight Lurker:

    Villian and comic foil, a narcissistic asshole. On Next Generation.

  34. 34
    hueyplong says:

    I can’t watch Trump for more than 10 seconds without wondering whether he should be in a concussion protocol.

    How on earth can his followers think he sounds smart?

  35. 35
    MomSense says:


    All they have to do is pull-up in an MRAP in front of the White House, take out the keys, and let him pretend to drive and say vroom vroom like they did with those 18 wheeler truck cabs. They could always play get a band to play some Sousa to really give him a thrill.

  36. 36
    Schlemazel says:

    One of my favorite military life stories: Viktor Belenko flew a MiG25 from Russia to Japan and defected. He told of his airfield in Siberia, They had bulldozed all the trees when it was set up. A big general from Moscow was coming so everyone had to stop work for the day, go out to the woods and dig up small pine trees to plant along the road between the airfield & the offices. The General delayed & the trees died so they had to do it a second time. The General postponed again so they had to do it a third time. The General postponed yet again so they spray painted the dead trees with green paint.
    Maybe they could hire some actors & create some cardboard tanks for Dump’s parade & save a bunch of money

  37. 37
    Amir Khalid says:

    @The Midnight Lurker:
    No, Q is the head of tech at MI-6. He supplies James Bond with all them cool gadgets.

  38. 38
    zhena gogolia says:


    should be Little Feat

  39. 39
    geg6 says:


    Have you ever talked to one of them?

  40. 40
    Ruckus says:


    How on earth can his followers think he sounds smart?

    Have you heard any of them speak? Comparably, he isn’t as dumb as a box of rocks. Measurably he is. What does that say about people who consider him presidential material?

  41. 41
    smedley the uncertain says:

    @Timurid: OMG Don’t let him see it. He’ll want 100 in GOLD.

  42. 42
    MomSense says:


    Cole wouldn’t even need to wear pants.

  43. 43
    Ken says:

    @Schlemazel: That’s pretty much what they did with “the wall”, isn’t it? Showed Trump some pictures of repairs being made (during the Obama administration, but whatever) to one of the existing sections, told him it was new construction, and he believed it.

  44. 44
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Timurid: As best I can tell, that is not a tank. That, my friend, is a self-propelled howitzer and a rather fabulous one.

  45. 45
    Ruckus says:


    All to feed the ego of some pompous narcissist who needs to compensate for his tiny dick.

    Are you sure it’s only tiny and not mosquito sized?
    He flits around and massively annoys people……..
    OK maybe not so much flits but then he’s extremely old and way overweight for a mosquito.

  46. 46
    Ruckus says:

    @Omnes Omnibus:
    Yes but would the shitgibbon know the dif?
    No. Stick a gun and some tracks on a Checker Cab and he probably wouldn’t know.

  47. 47
    terraformer says:

    It’s like this for so many issues. Goddamn it, we have too many problems – too many important things that need to be addressed, and we have this buffoon strutting around and everyone’s on eggshells because of the inherent power we give to whoever is President. As Pierce often writes, this person is the logical result of the so-called 30 years since Reagan fed the monkey-brains. It could have been someone just as narcissistic – but smart, or savvy, or whatever, and it could be more than the 27% nutwall support to beat back.

    But it’s also easy to forget that however bad Trump is, and he’s just a horrible homo-sapien, it’s the whole f-ing Republican party that’s the underlying and foundational issue. They’re not acting on their constitutional duty as a check to the other branches – all for party, and not for country. We’ve got to beat these fuckers back, and find out what we really want this place to be if not what they’re peddling. If the elections don’t go to shit…

  48. 48
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @Shell: They’re now on to McRaven didn’t actually oversea the op that killed bin Laden. Rather bin Laden is still alive and that Operation Neptune Spear, which McRaven planned and oversaw, was intended to and did kill all the members of DEVGRU, which is popularly known as SEAL Team Six.

  49. 49
    Mike in NC says:

    I loved personnel inspections by the ship’s CO while in the Navy. If it was to go down at 0900, then the XO would want everybody in formation at 0830. Then the department heads would want to hold muster at 0800, so as one of the division officers I’d need to have my people form up on station at 0730. And a good time was had by all!

  50. 50
    Amir Khalid says:

    They know he’s stupid and worse, and they don’t care. Throughout the two-year campaign they were confronted again and again with evidence of his unfitness for decent company, let alone for public office. They voted for him anyway out of petulance, and out of spite towards all those uppity Obama- and Hillary-loving liberals.

  51. 51
    Jeffro says:

    He thought he could just order that shit up and make it happen, too – F.U., Trumpov

    Here’s a good article on where we’re at with this clown: Trumpov’s Favorite Presidential Powers. Hint hint: it’s the ones that don’t have any barriers or restrictions. I’d add tariffs and nominating judges to the list since the GOP Congress is doing nothing at all to curtail that/is actively encouraging the speedy approval of judges

    – revoking clearances
    – pardons
    – signing executive orders

    This is why the Electoral College needs to GO: you can’t just rubber-stamp-approve the “election” of a complete degenerate and give him kinglike powers. If it’s not gonna be a brake on scum-elect taking charge of our whole country, it doesn’t need to exist.

  52. 52
    sukabi says:

    @The Midnight Lurker: he’ll get a big parade, in fact the bigliest parade ever thrown for a president…..when he’s hauled out of the oval office in handcuffs.

    Pretty sure there will be a spontaneous parade all over the country.

  53. 53
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Ruckus: Get the inflatable ones from WWII. God knows that some supply CWO has them in a warehouse somewhere and all we need is the right form.

  54. 54
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @Squid696: We can fix that!

    … during the Cold War, the Soviet Union was actually developing just such a digging machine, a brutal, nuclear-powered beast called the Battle Mole. At least, it seems like they did.

    The Battle Mole was a type of vehicle known as a subterrene—essentially, the land version of a submarine. If you’ve ever tried to dive into your backyard the same way you’d dive into a pool, you know empirically that the process of traveling through the Earth’s crust is far more difficult than traveling through water, which is largely why subterrenes aren’t very common.

  55. 55
    hueyplong says:

    What if he stood on a balcony overlooking an empty street and they told him that it was stealth tanks, subs and mobile rocket launchers passing before him?

    Gather 100 or so people in his line of sight. He’s been known mentally to stretch such a gathering into a huge crowd.

    Then give him his fucking blanket and send him to bed. Et voila, problem solved.

  56. 56
  57. 57
    Mike in NC says:

    True Fact: My wife’s late father was Provost Marshal of the Military District of Washington (MDW) from 1959 to 1965 when he retired. His biggest job came when he was responsible for logistics and security for the funeral of JFK.

  58. 58
    Jeffro says:

    @Adam L Silverman: Let’s just cut to the chase: is HYDRA running the country or not in the addled “brain” cells of these goofs? And if so, what’s the ‘tell’? If I yell “Hail!…” in a crowded IC facility’s cafeteria, what % of folks would have to drop their forks and yell “…Hydra!” before I know that the Deep State has taken over but good?

  59. 59
    Ken says:

    @MomSense: I’m sure Trump wants something like this, around the 2:20 mark. Problem is, he’s entirely the wrong kind of Disney villain.

  60. 60
    Brachiator says:

    Trump’s parade would have bigfooted this planned UK remembrance. From the Guardian.

    A huge march past the Cenotaph in London’s Whitehall by 10,000 members of the public is planned to mark the centenary of the Armistice, the culture secretary, Jeremy Wright, announced on Thursday.

    A Nation’s Thank You – the People’s Procession will follow the traditional British Legion’s veteran march past at the end of the national service of remembrance, on the 100th anniversary of the end of the first world war on 11 November.

    Those taking part in the procession will be chosen by ballot, with descendants, family members and the public invited to apply for tickets.

    Meanwhile, the UK and German governments have joined together to invite nations to participate in international bell ringing to replicate the national outpouring of relief that took place as armistice was declared in 1918.

    And the ringing of the bells.

    Charlotte Czyzyk, a first world war researcher at the Imperial War Museum, said: “On November 11 1918 the fighting ended. Accounts show people pouring out into the street, singing and dancing, and gathering in large places to be part of that shared moment.

    “The bells didn’t ring during the war, mainly for security reasons. It was felt, perhaps, they would be used in an emergency, if there was an invasion.

    “So when the bells rang on Armistice Day it was symbolic, and also a good way to let people know the war had ended, particularly those in villages.

    “I think that silence throughout the war, then the joyful release with the bells, is very poignant. So it is wonderful that the British and German governments are working together to recreate that moment.”

    Trump is scheduled to attend observances in Paris, including, I think, a parade.

  61. 61
    SiubhanDuinne says:

    I have/had only the flimsiest, most peripheral connections to the military, but even I had this parade nonsense pegged as Stoopid Beyond Belief from the first minute Trump floated the idea. The brass hate it. The grunts hate it. The money guys hate it. Historians and patriots hate it. Everyone who lives/works in D.C. hates it.

  62. 62
    NotMax says:

    Don’t know (and most certainly don’t care) about the size or lack thereof of his junk.

    “I gave up comparing genitals back in the schoolyard.”
      – Max Schumacher, Network

    Am fairly certain, though, that his ego is named Audrey.

  63. 63
    Ken says:

    @Mike in NC: That reminds me, I want to thank whoever it was who recommended The Caine Mutiny here on this blog a while back.

  64. 64
    Yutsano says:

    @Amir Khalid:

    He supplies James Bond with all them cool gadgets.

    Dame Judi Dench on line 2 for you sir.

  65. 65
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: I’m going to pass this along, I’m not going to look for myself.

  66. 66
    Amir Khalid says:

    @Adam L Silverman:
    My mind is boggled. That’s some high-octane crazy you’re describing there.

  67. 67
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @Jeffro: I do not know.

  68. 68
    SiubhanDuinne says:


    They could always play get a band to play some Sousa to really give him a thrill.

    Be kind to your web-footed friends,
    For a duck may be somebody’s mother….

  69. 69
    Ruckus says:

    @Mike in NC:
    My fav was an inspection on the way back from the North Atlantic. Captain inspected each man, gave a report to someone in his cadre and about 3 or 4 people behind the captain was the XO. The captain could say good haircut, you pass and the XO would tell the guy that his liberty/leave was cancelled till he got a haircut and reinspection. Even the lifers and other officers were pissed, I believe about half the crew was willing to throw him overboard. Talk about making friends the hard way.

  70. 70
    Adam L Silverman says:


    Trump is scheduled to attend observances in Paris, including, I think, a parade.

    I’m not sure he’s scheduled. I’m sure he announced he was just going to go to Paris for the parade their, but I’ve seen no reporting that the French government has invited him.

  71. 71
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Yutsano: She was M. Desmond Llewelyn was Q.

  72. 72
    SiubhanDuinne says:

    @Adam L Silverman:

    Say WHUT?

  73. 73
    Amir Khalid says:

    M is the overall head of MI-6, a quite different job.

  74. 74
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Adam L Silverman: Not getting out of the boat. No mangoes are that good.

  75. 75
    Enhanced Voting Techniques says:

    @jl: They could get march Civil War reenacters down Pennsylvania Avenue and tell Trump that’s the US Army dress uniform.

    “Yes Mr President, with all the wars going on we haven’t had much opportunity to update the look”

  76. 76
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @Amir Khalid: Yep.

  77. 77
    jl says:

    @SiubhanDuinne: Just ALS standing at the doorway to wilderness of mirrors, beckoning us all in, with a sly smile, I guess.

  78. 78
    Ruckus says:

    @Omnes Omnibus:
    Not taking that bet. In the early 70s they still had spare parts for WWII boats. Hell I was trained on how to fix some of the WWII equipment, in case I was ever assigned to one of those crates.

  79. 79
    J R in WV says:


    Everyone marches at Great Lakes, but never again after that.

  80. 80
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @SiubhanDuinne: WHUT.

    Happy now?

  81. 81
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: Pretty much my thought.

  82. 82
    Amir Khalid says:

    @Adam L Silverman:
    Could they really decline to invite POTUS to the centenary commemoration of the Armistice? I don’t like him either, but I’d expect such a snub to have diplomatic consequences.

  83. 83
    Platonailedit says:


    The thug has got the punchiest mouth. 2 seconds tops for me.

  84. 84
    Brachiator says:

    @Adam L Silverman: Yeah, I originally took Trump at his word, a big mistake. But there is this, from Armistice Day info sites.

    Leaders of the countries involved in the First World War will be invited to Paris for the November 2018 Centenary of the Armistice, President Macron has said.

    Mr Macron also plans to tour the regions of France that bore the brunt of the devastation in 1914-18.

    All this really underscores what a distracting vanity project Trump’s parade was. And he would have been the center of attention with his shitgibbon grin.

  85. 85
    Aleta says:

    Put him on a parade field somewhere like Fort Benning and make him practice with batch after batch of graduates, then stand through their entire graduation. He’ll imagine some confused story about what happened; from then on just keep reminding him he already had the parade and it was big.

  86. 86
    Platonailedit says:

    @Adam L Silverman:

    Will the thug land in France uninvited?

  87. 87
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @jl: And look, there’s Judge Roy Moore right next to Gene Wilder!

  88. 88
    MagdaInBlack says:

    @Amir Khalid:
    I have the pleasure of working with a few of his supporters. They do not think he’s stupid. They think he’s one of them…..because he sounds like them and he says the things they think, and now, get to say.
    When I do listen to him speak (which is rare ) I recognize he really doesn’t say anything substantial, but they hear something entirely different. They hear a smart man validating their thinking…..which means (follow me here) they too, are smart…..after all, the President agrees with them.

  89. 89
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @Amir Khalid: Depends how annoyed he’s made Macron in the run up.

  90. 90
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @Brachiator: So they’re going to dig up and ship Wilson’s corpse over for the parade?

  91. 91
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @Platonailedit: Negative Ghost Rider, the pattern is full.//

  92. 92
    Jay says:

    Step one, set up a reviewing stand,

    Step two, big speakers lining the parade route,

    Step three, play Highway to the Danger Zone, on a loop,

    Step four, overplay alternating jet sounds, helocopter sounds, tank sounds, truck sounds, marching feet sounds,

    Step 5, a Military Aide standing there with a VR headset, explains, “Sir, they are saluting you, you have to salute them back!

    Step 6, have senior staff ‘splain to The Insane Clown POSus, that the reason he can’t see the parade is because the F-22’s F-35’s and helocopters are all stealth, like the ones that took down Bin Laden.

    That the reason he can’t see the troops, the tanks, the IFV’s, the rocket forces, the Space Farce, is because they are all wearing/coated in “adaptive camoflage”, “he’s heard of “adaptive campflage, right?”

    Step seven, have him have a glimpse of the VR parade through the VR Headset. Have the Brass ‘splain that the VR headset is double secret, “Q” level tech, that’s closely guarded, because if the US enemies knew of it, “adaptive camoflage and “stealth” would be useless,

    Step eight, every hour, have a perfectly visible Military Band march down the street playing appropriate tunes,

    Step nine, continue for 8 hours or until the Insane Clown POSus strokes out.

    Step ten, give Pence and Mother the same parade, in August next year.

  93. 93
    NotMax says:

    FYI, as we’re on about WW1, then and now. From 2007:

    Booing and laughter broke out at a regional party meeting roll call on Sunday in Mölln, Germany, when the great-great grandson of Germany’s legendary “Iron Chancellor” came up absent — again.

    Count Carl-Eduard von Bismarck, 46, isn’t living up to his disciplined family name. The national politician frequently avoids local party obligations and colleagues, isn’t present in his electoral district and doesn’t answer voters’ questions.
    In Berlin, according to Germany’s mass-circulation Bild Zeitung, the aristocrat has attended fewer than half of this year’s parliamentary sessions. The paper asks whether Bismarck, who was elected to the Bundestag or national parliament from the state of Schleswig-Holstein in 2005, is “Germany’s Laziest Politician.” Source

  94. 94
    laura says:

    @jl: needs MOAR Thurston!

  95. 95
    Brachiator says:

    @Adam L Silverman:

    So they’re going to dig up and ship Wilson’s corpse over for the parade?

    Ha! Not an entirely bad idea.

  96. 96
    Zinsky says:

    Couldn’t have said it better myself, Cole. This dipshit’s tiny dick is going to cost trillions of dollars and thousands of lives! Chop it off!

  97. 97
    Aleta says:

    Marcon announcing the invitation of heads of state (WW1 participating countries and others) to Paris for the 1918 centenary. Then he invites heads, leaders, thinkers, anyone from anywhere with plans and projects to the three day Paris Peace Forum 2018
    Paris Peace Forum 2018: Words from The President Emmanuel Macron

    …This risk haunts us. The risk of division, nationalism, inward-looking attitudes, the great fears which can cause democracy to doubt itself, the lack of international cooperation, this is what our world might currently be going through. On 11 November 2018, we will celebrate the centenary of the 1918 Armistice. In Paris, we are inviting the Heads of States who participated in the first world war and many other Heads of States will also be present, not just to commemorate the centenary of the armistice of the first global conflict, but to try together to keep the promise that we made 100 years ago: never again. We have therefore decided to organize our Peace Forum on this occasion. This forum will be held in Paris on 11, 12, 13 November 2018, and will bring together Heads of State and Government, leaders of international organizations, NGO leaders, intellectuals, stakeholders, all those who want to think, take action, drive modern multilateralism, build peace, because it is in danger. The Paris Peace Forum has one goal: think together, propose concrete initiatives, reinvent multilateralism and all modern forms of cooperation to ensure peace gains ground every day. Because peace is currently losing ground every day. I therefore invite you to come and win this positive fight together, to put forward your much-needed projects. Concrete projects, whether you are Heads of State and Government, heads of NGOs, company CEOs, citizens, intellectuals, put forward your concrete projects for the Paris Forum. Whether you are from North, Central or South America. Whether you are from Africa, the Levant, Asia, the Pacific, any continent, we need your initiatives and your projects to make this forum a success, to enable the forum to think and take action for today and tomorrow. I am counting on you and look forward to seeing you on 11 November in Paris for our peace forum.

  98. 98
    Aleta says:

    Here’s the link to apply to attend the Peace Forum in Paris.
    I bet Ivanka will be there and we can go too! 13 days left to apply.

  99. 99
    Wapiti says:

    @Mike in NC: We had this horrible parade-like event when I was in the service, maybe 1985 or 86 or 87. For some reason they wanted everybody in the Army to reaffirm their oath, so everybody on post gets to march out on the parade field at once. There’s not enough room to do a pass in review; they’re packing battalion massed formations side-by-side on the field.

    And it’s going to take place at dawn. In Washington State, in the summer or fall, so before 0600. So every echelon rolls the time back 30 minutes and we’re drawing weapons from the arms room at something like 0330.

    And the kicker: soldiers are encouraged to have their families there. It’s like wtf, sir – we’ve got one car; if I drive it in my wife can’t, and do you really expect her to get up at 0500 to get through the front gate?!?

  100. 100
    Mike in NC says:


    Trump is scheduled to attend observances in Paris, including, I think, a parade.

    So, World War III right around the corner?

  101. 101
    The Midnight Lurker says:

    Just a few things…

    “Q” in the James Bond movies is short for Quartermaster. Although that position would be ‘technical quartermaster’, since he gives Bond all that junk that is absolutely useless is the course of normal spy work. Though, I have often found a use for the ejector seat in the ol’ DB5.

    “M” has always been a subject of controversy. Some believe it just means Minister. But according to Bond aficionados, they insist it is derived from Admiral Sir Miles Messervy, a character from the Ian Fleming novels.

    @Major Major Major Major: The Next Generation IS a reboot of Star Trek. Get over it.

    And this is the ONLY parade I want to see Trump at…

    Gotta get up early and start canvassing for Beto! and the others. I’m actually starting to believe we can beat Cruz. So keep those snarky comments and snide remarks coming – they’re bringing me luck! Peace.

  102. 102
    Eric U. says:

    I think I was in one parade after training, and it’s one of the things I resent most about my service. We were so horrible at marching too, I was embarrassed. No idea why anyone thought that would be a good idea. And all we had to do was to drive a couple of blocks down to the hq building to be in it. I think we practiced twice, after normal hours of course, so nobody would miss any work. Can’t imagine how pissed I would be if I had to go tdy on a holiday weekend.

  103. 103
    lexilis says:

    @Adam L Silverman: Not to give any credence to any of that Qanon BS, but it is true that quite a few (maybe 25?) Seal Team 6 members died a few weeks later in a Chinook helicopter crash.

  104. 104
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @lexilis: I’m aware.

  105. 105
    J R in WV says:

    Once I was out of boot camp, went to school, went to my ship, never had an inspection again until the day before my discharge, when the lifer preparing my papers told me to have a regulation haircut tomorrow if I expected to get out.

    I had been wearing a neck brace for an injury, and combing my hair down under the brace.

    I got a haircut at the base barber that afternoon, and was discharged on schedule the next day. That isn’t really an inspection, though. What can I say…?

  106. 106
    NotMax says:

    @The Midnight Lurker

    Gotta raise a hand high in support of M⁴ on this. Star Trek: Next Generation is a sequel, not a reboot.

  107. 107
    Hkedi [Kang T. Q.] says:

    @The Midnight Lurker: I think we need to understand that there was a really clear-cut, choice between good and evil. I’m not saying it was absolute good and evil. it was a choice between ehhh-meh good and MUHAHAAHAH!!!!HAHAHA!!! HHahahaahahaha!!!! Evil.

    America failed (with a heavy lift from Russia) in that test.

    We might be able to pull it out, November is my decision point for that.

  108. 108
    Duane says:

    @Jay: It seems you’ve thought this through. Glad you remembered the music. Lots and lots of music.

  109. 109
    AndoChronic says:

    Saying this as a TSgt. That orange piece of shit can choke on my nuts.

  110. 110
    Platonailedit says:

    @Adam L Silverman:

    Ben Ghazi 2!!!!

  111. 111
    Jay Noble says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: And John Cleese also played Q.

  112. 112
    Delia says:

    I’m not sure Donnie knows there was a First World War. It’s all a lot more complicated than the second one and harder to sort out how he himself saved the day. Also he’d get jealous of the French having all the fun parades. Better to let him go off and play golf somewhere.

  113. 113
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Jay Noble: He was awful.

  114. 114
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Jay Noble: I know.

  115. 115
    JAFD says:

    My father (may he rest in peace) loved parades, tried to have me join the high school band (despite my lack of musical talent). He was born in 1913, grew up when radio was AM on the big console in the parlor and movies were silent B&W, so when St. Patrick’s day or Columbus Day or Von Steuben Day or Pulaski Day came around in the West End of old Chester, Pa, and everyone who wasn’t in the parade came out to hear the bands and watch the floats – that was Entertainment.

    If you are going to hold a Really Grand Civic Event, look up the order of march for the parade in Philly in ’89 to mark the 200th anniversary of the Constitution, get you some ideas. That was truly grand.

    Something should be done as a memorial and commoration of the end of WW I, possibly a concert of the assembled bands, if not a parade.

    I’ll – Ghod willing – be in Lancaster that weekend for Fall In, the autumn gathering of grown-ups who still play with toy soldiers. Theme last year was ‘The Yanks Are Coming’ – 100 years since the American Expeditionary Force, and events since. This year we of the Hilstorical Miniature Gaming Society did “Holy Wars and Those who Fight Them” in the spring, “Wars of Conquest and Those Who Lead Them” at our summer gathering, and will feature “Revolutions and Civil Wars and Those That Start Them”.

    Commemorative T-shirt will have Washington and Lenin side-by-side. if you want more info.

  116. 116
    Another Scott says:

    @Jeffro: +1


  117. 117
    NotMax says:


    People tended to think of Ral Partha as being only for D&D figures, but they also made some very nice lines of historical troops.

  118. 118
    Ruckus says:

    @J R in WV:
    WTF is it with hair in the US military? We tied up in a small port in Den Helder, The Netherlands in early Dec. As our moron Captain at the time figured that there would be a parade and all kinds of officials to met us it was rather a let down that we had to get into our blues and man the rails, and two Dutch sailors, with long hair tied up the ship and walked off. We did rib the ensign standing with us to no end about how they couldn’t possibly tie up the ship with all that hair.
    Bottom line, I had to get a reg haircut as well, the day before I was discharged. They did/do like to fuck with the people who actually know how things work, don’t they?

  119. 119
    Ruckus says:

    Current or past?

  120. 120
    Mnemosyne says:

    @Adam L Silverman:

    So who do they think wrote the terrible book that was turned into an even worse Michael Bay movie?

    Or am I misremembering and Bay made a movie of the terrible Benghazi book? Or both?

  121. 121
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @Mnemosyne: I’m not following at all. I don’t watch Michael Bay movies as a rule, though I did catch a Transformers rerun on cable the other night.

    Also, I’m going to bed, so feel free to email me the clarification.

  122. 122
    barbequebob says:

    @The Midnight Lurker:

    Q is the guy in James Bond movies, whose section (“Q section”) develops all the great gadgets, weapons, vehicles that 007 uses to even the odds in his fight against global bad guys. Q and his section are techno geeks and not particularly involved in policy and determining long term priorities vis-a-vis their adversaries.

    Knowing this about Q, I can’t see him being involved in this current conspiracy. Its not his area of expertise.

  123. 123
    Emma says:

    @Adam L Silverman: Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. One more time: we have to ignore them. These people are playing poker with UNO decks.

  124. 124
    Miss Bianca says:

    @Adam L Silverman: Oh, FFS.

  125. 125
    Emily68 says:

    My dad made it up all the way to corporal in WWII. He mentioned numerous times to his kids that he hated parades and inspections by big-wigs and all the other soldiers did too. After he & our mother had died, we read the 500+ letters he’d written during the war, and sure enough, every time there was a parade or a general was going to show up, he expressed his displeasure.

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