I Hope You People Are Proud of Yourselves

Thanks a lot guys:

Solid of you all to have my back like that.

48 replies
  1. 1
    SiubhanDuinne says:

    Now I understand why your mom always liked Seth best.

  2. 2
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @SiubhanDuinne: That’s cold.

  3. 3

    I am clearly winning.

    rofl just wave the fucking white flag already

  4. 4
  5. 5
    Juju says:

    Something something, the willow tree is too close to your house.

  6. 6
    Duane says:

    I don’t think winning means what is happening here.

  7. 7
    Old Dan and Little Anne says:

    My local grocery store is right next door to my house. I have a Google maps screen shot proving they are only 2 miles apart, also, too.

  8. 8
    Mnemosyne says:

    I assumed that you posted what you did because you knew you were wrong but needed other people to say it first so you could grumble about it.

  9. 9
    VeniceRiley says:

    Next door literally means … the next door. Not the door down the street. Sorry, Cole. I hope when you stand in line for an hour and the cashier/clerk/whatever says “next” you don’t freak out when the guy five in line … um, DOWNLINE from you just waltzes up like he doesn’t understand the meaning of NEXT.

    Thanks for the funny story though.

  10. 10
    agoqthe_bago says:

    My god, what kind of alien hellscape is that? There’s no people, no traffic, and there’s open street parking.

    That place makes it look like it’s crowded when walking the irradiated plains of Fallout.

  11. 11
    sukabi says:

    @SiubhanDuinne: I still don’t know why Mrs. Cole hasn’t kicked John’s ass. He clearly needs it.

  12. 12
    hitchhiker says:

    winning = keeping your mom’s attention for hours.

    well done.

  13. 13
    J R in WV says:

    Not Steve kin the photo, and not next door, clear across an intersection!!!! so far not next door.

    But I still love you Cole, even though you think we suck.

  14. 14
    RoonieRoo says:

    Late to the party but after reading the past two posts, I can definitely say your mom is right. It’s down the street.

  15. 15
    Platonailedit says:


    You never win with your mom. Especially one who knows what she is talking about.

  16. 16
    dr_z says:

    The perils of a reality-based community…

  17. 17
    scott alloway says:

    John. Let it be. I lived in the backwoods of Maine before I moved to Philadelphia. I still say just up the street when it’s a mile away. The locals don’t get it, but I know it’s just up the street.

  18. 18
    John Cole says:

    @SiubhanDuinne: Jesus. It’s always the quiet ones.

  19. 19
  20. 20
    chopper says:

    think about it this way, cole – you may not have been right, but you were right next to being right.

  21. 21
    FlyingToaster says:

    I should point out that age is a thang, here.

    To me & HerrDoktor, this is right next door, even though it’s nearly a block away. I park farther than that to get to damn near anything (and I invite you to park a large minivan anywhere inside of 128 closer than two blocks to your destination. Seriously).

    To my 10-year-old WarriorGirl, this is a trek across the arid moonscape without provisions or extra oxygen bottles. And it’s Mom’s fault that she has to walk that far. (And if our destination is Ranc’s, we’re walking twice that far. Ya want ice cream, work for it.)

    To my mom, it’s time to call a taxi. That’s FAR too far to walk, at least in Florida heat. Or the frozen hellscape that is Boston (we were like 101° yesterday, but we’re the frozen hellscape. Remember that.)

    So from my strictly personal perspective, you’re both right.

  22. 22
    Simon Taverner says:

    If I wanted to back a man making nonsensical arguments I’d be a Trump supporter.

  23. 23
    James E Powell says:


    It’s like the set for “Small Town Street” on a backlot.

  24. 24
    Ruckus says:

    @Simon Taverner:
    OK LOL.

    I don’t think John understands that you can never win an argument with mom. You can storm out of the room, you can get yelled at, you can not eat your brussel sprouts, you can shave your head and leave a mohawk, but you can’t win an argument with mom. No matter how old you are. I think it’s possibly a natural law.

  25. 25
    Mart says:

    @John Cole: Quiet one?, sombitch called me a fuckn troll for typing katty corner.

  26. 26
    WaterGirl says:

    @Mnemosyne: Hey, you stole my theory! :-) I thought the same thing.

  27. 27

    That’s his *mom* saying she’s doing the winning, right? Your comments have me confused.

  28. 28
    WaterGirl says:

    @Major Major Major Major: My outgoing texts always show up in the darker color and the incoming are lighter. She says he’s nuts and he calls her a lunatic. That’s my read, anyway.

  29. 29
    NotMax says:

    Solid of you all to have my back like that.

    Wrong is wrong.

    Tough love, bubbala.

  30. 30
  31. 31

    @WaterGirl: My iPhone (default settings) has me in blue on the right, other person in gray on the left. It sounds like people are reading it as *him* saying he’s winning though.

  32. 32
    Felanius Kootea says:

    @FlyingToaster: Hahahaha. You know they can’t both be right. Mom wins this one.

  33. 33
    YetAnotherJay formerly (Jay S) says:

    @Major Major Major Major: I think we are missing the lede here. John is using an I-thingy. How can this be? And you too?

  34. 34
    Mary G says:

    I love your mom. Maybe more than you. But not as much as Lily, Rosie, Thurston, and Steve. I read that thread two or three times just for the giggles. Thanks Mr. Grouchy.

    And my mom, from Austin, Texas, always said cater-corner.

  35. 35

    @YetAnotherJay formerly (Jay S): I think Cole’s always used a fruityphone. Major^4, well he’s a youngin’ and I believe is required to use one.

  36. 36
    JGabriel says:


    Next door literally means … the next door.

    This is a Democratic political blog. Are we really going to limit ourselves to only using words by their literal meanings?

    Republicans don’t. Why do we have to?

  37. 37
    JGabriel says:

    @Major Major Major Major:

    My iPhone (default settings) has me in blue on the right, other person in gray on the left. It sounds like people are reading it as *him* saying he’s winning though.

    Yeah, Skype’s messaging kind of the same way – other person on left, me on right. So I assumed it was Mom on the left, and John on the right.

    Also it’s funnier that way – Momma Cole is gloating.

  38. 38
    JGabriel says:


    My outgoing texts always show up in the darker color and the incoming are lighter. She says he’s nuts and he calls her a lunatic. That’s my read, anyway.

    Sorry, Watergirl, but Momma Cole is clearly the one on the left.

    Re-read the first gray balloon:

    You are nuts. The bank is right next to the restaurant. Joyce’s is down the street.

    That’s what Momma Cole was saying all along, remember? John was the one arguing that Joyce’s was next door to the restaurant.

  39. 39
    JGabriel says:

    Sigh. Everyone’s gone.

    No one to talk to but myself.

    So lonely.

  40. 40
    different-church-lady says:

    It’s ’round the bend.

  41. 41
    WaterGirl says:

    @JGabriel: That’s what I said upthread:

    She says he’s nuts and he calls her a lunatic. That’s my read, anyway.

  42. 42
    kindness says:

    I don’t know your Ma from Adam John but I gotta love her.

  43. 43
    Bobby Thomson says:

    Getting tired of all this whining winning.

  44. 44
    NonyNony says:

    I may not know much, but I know that when I get into an argument with my mom I’ve already lost. It really doesn’t matter if I’m right or not.

  45. 45
    Barbara says:

    I stopped arguing with my mother in 2008 when she was an avid Clinton supporter and the rest of us were all in for Obama. It would be nice if she were still around to argue with.

    P.s. the bank is close by the restaurant.

  46. 46
    Mom Says I*m Handsome says:

    A little late to the party, but this squabble reminded me of the episodes of Documentary Now with the Blue Jean Committee (S01E06 & 07, available on Netflix), where the studio engineers kept getting into arguments about Chicago geography. Very hilarious.

    Carry on.

  47. 47
    joel hanes says:

    We’re Democrats, Cole, the famous circular firing squad.

    If you wanted people who would stand with you in solidarity when you’re egregiously wrong, you should have stuck with the Republicans.

  48. 48
    Eric K says:

    Here is where I get all liberal and nuanced. It’s all in the context, here in a big city where there are blocks and blocks, covering miles with lots of barber shops and restaurants I’d describe them as next door since they are near the same intersection so if if I was telling someone how to find the new restaurant I could use the barbershop as the best known reference point. But in a small town that has a couple streets with businesses I’d say across the intersection from or something like that.

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