The person who did this is a goddamned genius:
UPDATE: pic.twitter.com/3Iq7vMcbmQ
— Schatz (@emjbourne) July 10, 2018
Don’t mind me, I’m just dying over here. ?
It’s the gift that keeps on giving. pic.twitter.com/HmvlFiXch4
— Schatz (@emjbourne) July 11, 2018
Dying, I tell you!
Dollar Tree Portraits ? pic.twitter.com/ivonQHUjas
— Schatz (@emjbourne) July 11, 2018
Annnnd, I am deceased!
trollhattan
Epic!
pat
that hair..!!! Gah. Tell me that’s not photoshopped!!
Yutsano
Not sure if scarred or dying of laughter.
Elizabelle
A nation of mullets.
jonas
That one of Mnuchin is priceless.
rikyrah
Was the site down?
Leto
Is that Stephen Miller or Paulie Shore? Can’t wait to see John Oliver parody himself in that Doilar Tree Portait!
LAO
Note to all — if you find yourself incarcerated ALL of your NON-LEGAL phone calls are RECORDED, it’s not hard to remember.
Yarrow
@rikyrah: Was for me.
rikyrah
Special Counsel’s Office says Manafort has been surreptitiously sending emails from jail…https://t.co/L4C0JNqmep pic.twitter.com/hqo207Fedi
— Rachel Maddow MSNBC (@maddow) July 11, 2018
?BillinGlendaleCA
@rikyrah: I was getting a “Database Connection Error” for a bit.
rikyrah
A JetBlue flight crew saved this dog’s life with an oxygen mask pic.twitter.com/5mBIToHacf
— NowThis (@nowthisnews) July 11, 2018
Yutsano
@LAO: The privilege is strong with this one. I wonder when it’s going to occur to him that he’s not getting out of this one scot-free.
@rikyrah: Exhibit infinity -1. It’s almost like he WANTS to be in jail.
@Leto: I think the judge is through with Manafort trying to dick him around.
EDIT TIMEWARP!!!
Leto
@LAO: I thought his lawyers submitted another motion saying, “Yeah… he doesn’t really want to transfer, despite that last motion asking for a transfer.” Does he still have to transfer?
LAO
@Yutsano: I often joke that it it weren’t for stupid people, I wouldn’t have a job. The thing is, I was never actually joking.
RSA
Superb. Sadly, it’s the nature of the Internet that the original artist will probably never get credit.
different-church-lady
I’m guessing I missed something, and that something is horrible…
rikyrah
HOLLERING ?? ?
LAO
@Leto: He didn’t ask for a transfer, he asked to delay the trial and switch the order of trials. In his papers, he specifically asked to remain in the facility he was in. This move is “punishment,” he has no say in the matter as to where he’s housed pre-trial (or post-trial for that matter).
Edited because I never proofread my comments.
RedDirtGirl
Is that Keebler sitting in Miller’s lap in the top tweet? They are all brilliant!
Roger Moore
@rikyrah:
Anyone want to bet he’s still trying to tamper with witnesses?
Shana
@RedDirtGirl: I think it’s Trump sitting in Putin’s lap.
Shana
@Roger Moore: No, I won’t take that bet.
Yutsano
@LAO: I was gonna say that’s reality for criminal defence. You either get the truly stupid or those who think they’re smart but don’t know shit. It pays the bills tho eh?
jl
I can’t ID a couple of these people, and I think that’s a good thing for me.
Seems to be a slight similarity of one of the Trump pics to Moe Howard, and that better get changed before the estate sues for defamation.
And, looks like Cracker was right earlier today, that Kelly was scribbling on the napkin to try to explain to Trump, AGAIN, how NATO was funded, and Trump at least partially got it. He realized how ignorant and unconvincing his rants were, so just upped his demands to NATO countries putting 4 percent of their GDP into defense. That makes Trump’s weird little game completely transparent, but he probably doesn’t care. In his eyes, looking ‘strong’ makes up for the patent bad faith and absurdity of it.
Villago Delenda Est
Oh dear I’ve startled the cat!
Yutsano
@Roger Moore: No bet. I like to keep my money please.
jl
BTW, is the Pence pic safe for work? Asking for a friend.
Leto
@LAO: Per rikyrah’s comment from two threads down:
Part of the delay tactic was “Oh, I’m too far from my lawyers! It takes them two hours to get to me!” Judge said, “Ok, we’ll move you to Alexandria”. Later that afternoon, they filed another motion saying, “No thanks” to the move. The original move (to prison) was punishment for the witness tampering. Does he still have to move to Alexandria despite his lawyers filing a motion saying, “No, he doesn’t now, even though the earlier motion asked that.”
?BillinGlendaleCA
@jl: Depends on where you work.
J R in WV
Regarding the portraits… I can tell they’re goofy looking. But I’m not that good with faces, esp of people I don’t actually know. So pretty lost on me without written explanations on the photos.
BUT:
Regarding Manafort, what a dumpass! What about imprisoned does he not understand?>? There are rules, and when you break the rules, there’s not much due process, you’re just self-screwed.
He just can’t stop, he’s helpless to keep from violating the judge’s orders, the rules of his jail, the laws of the United States… he’s been so arrogant for so long he really can’t grasp that there are real rules and laws that no one can break without suffering the consequences.
And he’s kept right on breaking laws and rules even while under a microscope. I imagine all of these recently broken laws will be admissible in his trials. I’m glad of that too… And bankrupt after stealing so much all his working life. Sweet!
jl
@?BillinGlendaleCA: I was asking for a friend. If it had been taken with one your space alien heat-ray cameras, it wouldn’t be. Too many hot spots.
Leto
And as this is an open thread: I know this has been asked by multiple people, but can we please get the auto-play ads to NOT auto-play? I’m on a computer where I can’t install an adblocker and it’s just killing it. Please?
Yutsano
@Leto: Apparantly the judge is getting tired of this shit.
LAO
@Leto: Ah, I stand corrected. I read the second motion (and the government’s response). He still has no say where he is housed — Manafort was caught on a recording bragging evading the facilities rules, ie — by sending out emails. He’s being moved because of his flouting of the rules, especially since he was afforded significant privileges that an ordinary pre-trial detainee is not given.
I can tell you from personal experience, preparing for trial with an incarnated defendant is 100 times for difficult than it is with an “out” defendant.
Leto
For people who can’t ID people in the pics, here we go:
First picture moving from top to bottom, left to right:
Trumpov, Sara Huckabeast, Rudy Ghouliani, Kelly Ann Conway, Putin w/ Trumpov in lap like puppet, KKKeebler Elf, DJT JR, Eric Trumpov, and Pence.
Second picture: Stephen Miller channeling Paulie Shore, Yurtle, Happy Days Huckabeast, and Kelly Ann Cats.
Finally, Mullet Time Mnuchin.
You’re welcome.
Yutsano
@LAO: JFC. That’s not stupidity. That’s just out and out arrogance. He really thinks he’s going to get out of this.
jl
Trump has no thought behind this at all, other than to make trouble. And he likes the sound of it. Makes him look strong and high energy.
Trump Proposes Turning Europe Into Armed Camp
By Josh Marshall
TPM
” It’s just the US President’s effort to toss another smoke bomb into the summit. ‘
https://talkingpointsmemo.com/edblog/trump-proposes-turning-europe-into-armed-camp
Leto
@Yutsano: From the transcripts, that’s what it sounds like. Good. I hope this helps to bring his sentence closer to the maximum side of the time allowed, as he’s a perpetual asshole/repeat offender.
@LAO: Oh man. Doing a little happy dance in my head. Tick tock, tick tock…
LAO
@Yutsano: I hear you, but I got say, if I had a nickel for every incarcerated client caught on a jail tape, I could retire. I can’t really explain why and the “codes” they come up with are laughable.
West of the Rockies
Damn, those are homely people…
Leto
@Leto: Apparently I don’t have permission to edit my comment, but I wanted to add that I know Manafort hasn’t been sentenced, let alone have his trial. I hope that the prosecutors don’t fuck this up (I’m thinking Bundy case). But, when they don’t, and he’s found guilty, just throw the fucking book at him and make him the goddamned Beacon of Gondor for what’s coming Trumpov’s way.
RP
Trump is furious that we’re spending so much money to defend the other NATO countries and wants them to spend more. So…is he proposing to slash U.S. defense spending? What do we gain if Germany spends more on defense and we don’t cut our own expenditures?
Jim, Foolish Literalist
watching trump’s tantrum in Germany again, we’re gonna need more giant baby balloons, and the whole royal family needs to catch colds. Let him meet with Princess Ann. SHe’ll scare the crap out of him.
Elizabeth
I’m no good at linking Twitter, but there’s also a new Stephen Miller one in the thread that is priceless! Worth going to have a look.
Teddys Person
@West of the Rockies: The ugliness radiates from within.
Adam L Silverman
@LAO: And he got caught on the phone taps intimating he wanted the DC trial first because if he was convicted by a typical DC jury, that would likely move the President to pardon him.
Adam L Silverman
@RedDirtGirl: No, that’s the President sitting on Putin’s lap with matching glasses, sweaters, and hair styles.
James E Powell
@Yutsano:
He’s counting on a pardon and I’m betting he gets one shortly after the midterms.
NotMax
Tune in tomorrow for another thrill-packed episode of As the Cracker Crumbles.
Sam jackal time, same jackal channel.
:)
Adam L Silverman
@jl: We don’t even put 4% of GDP into defense spending.
ETA: This essentially is doubling of what the US currently spends just on its own for everything the US does militarily, not just what we do with NATO. Not counting OCO funding.
jl
@RP: I haven’t heard that Trumpsters want to cut the US military budget at all, they want a big increase. Never heard them say it had anything to do with NATO. A big military is something every top country should have, kind of like a huge shiny gold ‘Trump’ sign above the entrance to a resort. Might come in handy if Russia and some authoritarians and despots from the Middle East come with a lucrative international business proposal. And, big military parades!
jl
@Adam L Silverman: I for one think a military parade that takes less than 4 percent of GDP is weak, low energy. For losers. Won’t be enough missiles and tanks. Shabby. A disgrace. A mess.
But, OTOH, we are close to 4 percent. Would the Trumpster defense budget proposals put the US above that? I don’t know.
@Adam L Silverman: Trump only wants alliances with top countries. Top countries have big parades.
Adam L Silverman
@jl: Jesus tested, Mother approved!
Immanentize
@LAO: Hi LAO!
This is my most favorite thing for weeks. Do you think his attorneys will get the Lynn Stewart treatment?
Jim, Foolish Literalist
Eat this, Donnie.
Gin & Tonic
I am really enjoying the sight of Manafort shooting himself in the dick. *Really* enjoying.
I’ll go to confession later.
jl
Lady Cracker’s riddle, from earlier today, answered. It’s always about the important stuff with the Trumpsters. So, I was right. Trump’s demands are all about classy military parades. Keep you eyes on the ball, people (talking to you, ALS!).
@costareports
In a statement to The Post, White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders said, “[Kelly] was displeased because he was expecting a full breakfast and there were only pastries and cheese.”
https://twitter.com/costareports/status/1017139100510572546
Shana
@Yutsano: Wouldn’t you?
NotMax
@Gin & Tonic
The sudden onset of mysterious gastro-intestinal illness (from jail food) is doubtless being held in reserve until the last moment.
HeleninEire
@rikyrah: WHAT THE FUCK? He has a phone in jail??
Adam L Silverman
@jl: Snowflake.
trollhattan
@jl:
The parade will be yuge as the heavy military equipment will be trailed by grinding, leveling and paving machinery rebuilding the shattered roadway in real time. #InfrastructureWeek
Gin & Tonic
And boy, do I want Croatia to win.
J R in WV
@Leto:
Thanks, much more amusing with IDs!!
NotMax
@jl
“You realize, this means war!” //
Almost surely no American cheese, either.
Gin & Tonic
Sorry, England, but if Croatia hold on, that would be a two-fer “FUCK YOU” to FIFA and to Russia.
Shana
@HeleninEire: My understanding is that his lawyers are bringing in computers when they consult with Manafort, he reads them and responds through their computers (the lawyers’).
Immanentize
This is what Bryan Stevenson was talking about when he filed a motion in one of his cases:
LINKY
Roger Moore
@RP:
Trump is looking for an excuse to blow up NATO, and the money issue is the excuse he’s chosen.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
I…. what…? I read that before I read the source– earnestly sober-sided young Bob– and thought it must be some aspiring Onion writer. I’m surprised they responded at all, I can’t believe even Jethrene tried this one. ETA: this is just the kind of line that guarantees Colbert and Kimmel and Meyers will play that clip more
?BillinGlendaleCA
@Adam L Silverman: He’s in California, more like a melted snowflake.
Teddys Person
@jl: Ladies and Gentleman, Sarah Huckabee Sanders. Assistant Editor of the East Jesus Middle School Courier
Adam L Silverman
@Jim, Foolish Literalist: I’ve been watching Costa doing TV spots on MSNBC for almost two years now. There is something wrong with him. I’m not talking about the weight loss. I mean his affect is off.
Yutsano
@Shana: Something tells me the move to Alexandria is the judge playing with Manafort like a cat toy. And the last thing you EVER want at trial is an annoyed judge. Ask any of the litigators here.
@Shana: So it wasn’t just Paulie Boy. His lawyers were complicit. Hoo boy some heads are gonna be rollin’!
Adam L Silverman
@?BillinGlendaleCA: I was referring to Gen Kelly.
?BillinGlendaleCA
@Adam L Silverman: “Oh, that’s different, never mind”.
El Caganer
@NotMax: Dude apparently never heard of a “continental breakfast,” or, if he did, he probably figured the continent was Australia or some shit.
NotMax
FYI.
Trump Still Distorting NATO Spending
(Shocked, shocked.)
?BillinGlendaleCA
@El Caganer:
In that case the pastries are served upside down.
NotMax
Who ever thought a point of U.S. policy would be “We demand that Germany re-arm?”
?BillinGlendaleCA
@NotMax: Trump is half German.
MoxieM
Gotta note that Putin’s portrait = Elizabeth from The Americans as the murderous home health aide. Brilliant show.
Adam L Silverman
@?BillinGlendaleCA: Apple turnovers!
NotMax
@BillinGlendaleCA
And grampa was deported* for being an undesirable immigrant when he tried to return there.
*Technically, he fled back to the U.S. just ahead of the deportation process.
Fair Economist
@NotMax:
So he self-deported.
Boris, Rasputin's Evil Twin
@jl: The last time “The whole of Europe is an armed camp” was a thing, it was 1914. Yep, that worked out great.
skerry
Senate just confirmed Brian Benczkowski to lead the Justice Department’s criminal division 51-48. Dems objected to his nomination due to ties to Russian bank Alfa Bank. Manchin only D to vote yes
NotMax
@Billin GlendaleCA
Back in the days before pop tops or pull tabs, convinced some freshmen in college that cans of Foster’s lager had to be opened on the bottom.
HeleninEire
@Shana: So the lawyers are fucked too, right?
Gravenstone
@rikyrah: That stupid fucker just doesn’t know when to quit…
noncarborundum
@?BillinGlendaleCA: Is that what they mean when they offer “turnovers”?
Adam L Silverman
@skerry: What’s going to happen is, like with Sessions, the DOJ officials that handle this thing, will force him to recuse. So everyone just stay frosty.
Calouste
@skerry: Just another demonstration that whatever GOP Senators say or tweet, they will always vote for whatever the shitgibbon wants.
Brachiator
@Roger Moore:
Yep. You got it.
Also, Trump has been single minded about other NATO countries paying their “fair share” and “unfair” trade practices since the very beginning. This is his thing. There is no room for anything else. At this point, I have no idea whether this meeting was supposed to be about NATO goals, dealing with threats, terrorism, anything. Trump, as the supposed leader of the free world, instead distanced himself from his supposed allies. So, when he goes on to meet with Putin, he is free to pursue his own agenda (and bow down to his master), and also frees Putin from having to deal with a unified West.
@?BillinGlendaleCA:
And all ass.
rikyrah
@jl:
Kelly is a phucking General. Which means that he’s been stationed in Europe and knows how they eat.
Now Sasquatch maybe has never left the country and doesn’t know about the outside world, but a high level General surely does.
NotMax
@Adam L. Silverman
It’s like farmers being paid not to grow crops, writ larger. Eventually everyone at the DOJ will be paid to not perform his/her job.
;)
rp
@Roger Moore: It would just be nice if someone in the media would point out the huge, gaping hole in his argument. But whatever…
Omnes Omnibus
@rikyrah: He was a marine. It is quite likely he was never in Europe.
Adam L Silverman
@NotMax: I keep volunteering for that assignment. No one ever gives it to me.
NotMax
@Brachiator
Oh, so close.
And all heinie.
:)
Lapassionara
@Adam L Silverman: I thought there was a special font for snark.
The Dangerman
@Yutsano:
FTFY. He’s leaving jail in a box.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
jl
@Adam L Silverman: Bill and I are from California. So, it always just has to be about us.
I guess Kelly expected a breakfast burrito. I can’t blame him.
Edit OTOH, Sanders might be using Kelly to cover for the Boss’ displeasure. Should have a McDonald’s breakfast. Do they still make those breakfast sandwiches gooped up with syrup? Should have served those.
Kay
@rikyrah:
Smokey eye said it, rikyrah. 75% chance it’s a lie. It actually sounds like a lie- sounds like something they’d say to prove they are red-blooded Americans – they eat eggs and bacon. It’s ALL bullshit.
Gravenstone
@Jim, Foolish Literalist: Prefer if Paul Ryan ended his career at the end of a hangman’s noose.
Adam L Silverman
@Omnes Omnibus: His first O6 assignment, post promotion that occurred when he was the Corps’ congressional liaison officer, was as the Special Assistant to the Supreme Allied Commander Europe stationed in Mons, Belgium. That was his only EUCOM AOR assignment.
Brachiator
@rp:
Doesn’t matter. Trump just wants what he wants.
Also, as he admitted with his false claims to Trudeau about trade deficits, Trump doesn’t care whether his arguments make sense. He treats anyone who is not a dictator as a rube, a mark, a sucker to be tricked and trifled with. This is how he works his con.
Adam L Silverman
@Lapassionara: It isn’t. The DOJ has very specific rules, which is why Sessions was forced to recuse himself. If he tries to involve himself in Rosenstein’s business of overseeing the Special Counsel’s Office, he’ll be forced to recuse.
Betty Cracker
@Kay: Yep, it was a twofer — a lie to cover the fact that Kelly was visibly mortified by Trump’s absurd comments with bullshit posturing about American lumberjack breakfasts thrown in for good measure.
Adam L Silverman
@jl: She’s using it to cover for the fact that we have video of Kelly trying to sink into the earth while the President was droning on.
Moreover, I find it highly unlikely that the only thing served was cheese and pastries. Even at a working breakfast. Usually these things are so tightly programmed that they determine what everyone normally eats and then they make sure that their breakfasts are either cooked to those preferences or that a buffet is in place that covers everyone’s preferences. This includes ensuring that if someone has food allergies or is diabetic or etc, then there is something available for them to eat. The excuse is BS.
Betty Cracker
@Adam L Silverman: “Supreme Allied Commander” is probably the coolest title ever.
NotMax
@Betty Cracker
“Give me
libertyPop Tarts or give me death!”piratedan
@Adam L Silverman: sorry Adam, based on the track record that we’ve seen in regards to ignoring legislative norms from the GOP in pursuit of the goal of setting themselves up as a theocratic feudalism model for governance with a side of fascism, and based on the fact that ICE is in the process of ignoring due process (much less international law), the administration on emoluments clauses and nepotism and the eschewing of following any kind of security protocols for their staff during the wholesale looting of our country makes me think that having faith that a bunch of civil servants citing the law is going to have any kind of impact on whatever lower life form that Trump nominates into any position.
just saying…. hoping you’re right and I am wrong, but as far as these guys are concerned, their behavior makes me think that they don’t feel like there are ANY laws that apply to them.
NotMax
@Adam L. Silverman
Dog robbers gotta dog rob.
;)
jl
@Adam L Silverman: I will only note that our non-reply reply denial avoids mentioning McSkiddles, or McGriddles, or whatever they are called.
?BillinGlendaleCA
@jl:
I’m starting to warm to your way of thinking. Must be the weather.
ruemara
I give up. I can’t work with people who don’t know jack about a marketing campaign. If we have an ongoing program, one press release is not adequate to drive participation. How are you working in marcomm & social media and don’t understand outreach is a continual thing?
Ever get the feeling you’re being handed something destined to fail so they have a solid person to blame it on? Lately my job has convinced me I should invest in aspirin.
?BillinGlendaleCA
@jl: I actually went to McDonald’s Saturday night, first time in 8 years, the womenfolk were hungry on our trek to photograph the Milky Way.
Robert Sneddon
@LAO:
An old farmer writes to his son in prison;
Dear son, this year I wont be able to plant potatoes because I can’t dig the field by myself, I know if you were here, you would help me.
The son writes back; dad don’t even think of digging the field because that’s where I buried the money I stole.
The police read the letter and the next day the whole field was dug by police looking for the money but nothing was found.
The following day the son wrote again…. Now plant your potatoes dad.. It’s the best I can do from here…
NotMax
@BillinGlendaleCA
Sacrifice above and beyond.
Sloane Ranger
@jl: Pastries and cheese/cold meats is a standard breakfast in continental Europe. I would have thought that a Marine would know that. Or did Kelly never have a posting in Europe?
Also, having tried continental attempts at a full English breakfast, it is something best avoided, believe me!
?BillinGlendaleCA
@NotMax: I had the Double Bacon Smokehouse burger which was actually pretty good.
ETA: We ended up having a little picnic next to the Red Cliffs of Red Rock.
NotMax
@BillinGlendaleCA
Ah, the McSclerosis.
Probably a full week’s recommended intake of salt right there.
?BillinGlendaleCA
@NotMax: My nurse recommended it, and paid for it.
jl
@?BillinGlendaleCA: did you post the pix? Pix or it didn’t happen.
Edit: pix of Milky Way, not the burgers.
?BillinGlendaleCA
@jl: I posted a pic yesterday, here’s the pic.
Adam L Silverman
@Betty Cracker: It is.
Adam L Silverman
@piratedan: Is Jeff Sessions currently recused? Yes he is. Did he recuse because the office at DOJ that makes those determinations told him to? Yes he did. Is, at least this part of, the system working? Yes it is.
This guy has no experience as an actual trial lawyer. Not in civil or criminal matters. He’s basically spent his whole career as a staffer for then Senator Jeff Sessions. Here’s what is going to happen for him at DOJ: 1) The career people at the SES and senior GS levels that actually run the criminal division will determine that he has no idea what he’s doing, but that he’s a trusted agent of the Attorney General. 2) As such, those who are direct reports to him will give him just the information he needs, pitched in a way so that his decision making choices are limited to minimize damage. 3) They’ll all start operating under the principles of UNODIR/unless other wise directed and it’s better to beg forgiveness than ask permission. 4) Finally, he won’t be read on to what the Special Counsel is doing. That is a direct report to Rosenstein. Moreover, he doesn’t need to know and there are many reasons – his work as a senior aide to Sessions in the Senate, his work on the transition, his work for Alfa Bank – for him not to be read on.
Adam L Silverman
@NotMax: He wasn’t the aid de camp, so not a dog robber.
Yutsano
@Adam L Silverman: This may sound like a dumb question but…is he actually an attorney?
Steeplejack
@Robert Sneddon:
Great joke!
NotMax
@Adam L. Silverman
Was more addressing your mention of the people who set up the meals, taking personal preferences of the bigwigs into account.
Adam L Silverman
@Yutsano: Yes, but he’s never done trial work of any type. He’s basically been a staffer for Sessions his entire career.
Adam L Silverman
@NotMax: Okay, that makes more sense. They wouldn’t be dog robbers either. This would all have been handled via the protocol officers in the US Mission to NATO. Basically AMB Hutchinson’s protocol folks.
NotMax
@Adam L. Silverman
I suppose in the diplomatic corps they would be ‘canine acquisition deputies.’
;)