“I have broken more Elton John records, he seems to have a lot of records. And I, by the way, I don’t have a musical instrument. I don’t have a guitar or an organ. No organ. Elton has an organ. And lots of other people helping. No we’ve broken a lot of records. We’ve broken virtually every record. Because you know, look I only need this space. They need much more room. For basketball, for hockey and all of the sports, they need a lot of room. We don’t need it. We have people in that space. So we break all of these records. Really we do it without like, the musical instruments. This is the only musical: the mouth. And hopefully the brain attached to the mouth. Right? The brain, more important than the mouth, is the brain. The brain is much more important.”
Reader Interactions
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Juju
Holyyyyyy cheeseballs!
A Ghost To Most
@Juju: Would that be for Belgium beating Brazil?
Teddys Person
I understand what each of those words mean but am baffled by this particular arrangement.
Taiko
Makes “Is our children learning yet?” sound deep.
MagdaInBlack
What the ever lovin” F?
Betty Cracker
@Teddys Person: Me too. I guess he’s saying that he’s a bigger draw than Elton John, which is a lie, but so is almost every word out of his mouth. It amazes me that people will sit there and listen to this gibberish.
Bjacques
I can easily imagine him saying this alone in a padded room. He pretty much is already.
Smedley Darlington Prunebanks (formerly Mumphrey, et al.)
What the fuck is he talking about? I can’t make any sense of it.
Omnes Omnibus
@Betty Cracker: I like lamp
Cheryl from Maryland
@A Ghost To Most: Huzzah for the Red Devils!
Elizabelle
Sundown. Yep.
Sundowning in Montana. Lucky US of A.
danielx
@Smedley Darlington Prunebanks (formerly Mumphrey, et al.):
My very thought, but you could cut it back to just ‘what the fuck?’
This is word salad worthy of Sarah Palin, maybe worse.
Spanky
I get the allusion in the title, but I dunno, Alex. I used to think that he might be exhibiting Sundown Syndrome, but I’ve come to believe that he’s simply nuts.
Chip Daniels
25th Amendment.
Now, more than ever.
ruemara
Absolutely bugfuck nuts.
Teddys Person
@Betty Cracker: I see what you’re saying, but in this context, record to me means music recorded on vinyl. Not “my crowd attendance is bigger than your crowd attendance.” Although who knows what the fuck he’s talking about. And how, in the name of everything that’s holy, did Elton John get dragged into his shitshow?
The only phrase I understand is “I don’t have a guitar or an organ.” Here we’ve been calling him Donny Littledick when in fact it should be Donny Nodick.
wmd
Yeah it’s really hard to make sense of it. Pretty sure he’s talking about getting fans to attend his events.
Roger Moore
@Betty Cracker:
I think he’s saying he drew more people to that particular venue than Elton John, who must have had the record for the location before then. He claims he can squeeze in more people because his stage takes up less space than Sir Elton’s did, so there’s more space for audience. At least I think that’s what he’s saying.
Chyron HR
“M-A-G-A, that spells brain!”
Mnemosyne
G was able to get us into a filmmaker screening of Sorry To Bother You tomorrow night, so I’m looking forward to that. It looks pretty cool and it has rave reviews.
(“Filmmaker screening” means that the filmmakers will be there to talk about the film after the screening.)
Aleta
And how much taxpayer and party money did you pay out to say this? And how much money would Elton John take in? And how do you hold your head up with shit for brains?
Mnemosyne
@Roger Moore:
Somebody looked it up yesterday — Elton John is scheduled to play at the 24,000-seat venue in 2019. Trump was at the 6,000-seat venue.
Baud
This really should be added as a rotating tag line.
Teddys Person
@danielx: I vote for worse. With Sarah Palin, you could find the topic of her gibberish if you squinted hard enough. With Dolt45, he just says whatever half-baked thought is stomping through his brain at any particular moment.
Teddys Person
@Roger Moore: OMG, it’s the Trump whisperer.
Spanky
@Roger Moore: Why are you trying to decypher this?!? That way lies madness. Do not stare into that abyss!
schrodingers_cat
I am sorry, I don’t speak Presidential Moron.
Teddys Person
@Roger Moore: @Mnemosyne: Thanks for the backstory on the Elton John connection. This was so incoherent that I had no idea where to start unpacking it.
danielx
@Chyron HR:
There’s even a song about it!
Funkadelics – Maggot Brain
dmsilev
I think it translates as MEMEMEMEMEME.
prostratedragon
Mose, part I
Roger Moore
@Mnemosyne:
I tried to explain what he was saying; I didn’t vouch for its accuracy.
@Spanky:
It’s what my brain does automatically. It tries to make sense of the information it’s presented. This is a big reason I generally avoid reading (or worse yet, listening) anything Trump releases. I wasn’t able to stop myself this time.
currants
@danielx: YES! That is exactly what I was thinking. This is very Palinesque.
John Revolta
Ladies and Gentlemen……………..the President of the United States.
SRW1
Preschoolers are not as needy as that man-child.
David Evans
It’s speaking in tongues. He is preparing himself to be raptured.
Roger Moore
@Teddys Person:
I believe the technical term is “free association”.
zhena gogolia
@Omnes Omnibus:
So does your nym refer to the shop for which the Parisian omnibus was named? I just ran across that.
gene108
Without the mouth, one cannot eat. The brain consumes a lot of calories, which it gets via the mouth eating food. No mouth, no brain.
Suck on that
libtardsDonnie Dollhands.zhena gogolia
@Mnemosyne:
No big E. John fan here, but Twitler isn’t fit to lick the toe of his boot.
narya
There’s a part of me who would like to ask several of the audience members to translate that, and then compare the translations.
chopper
this is just…i mean, it doesn’t…wtf.
Roger Moore
@zhena gogolia:
Twitler isn’t fit to lick Vanilla Ice’s boot.
Elizabelle
@currants:
Cue William Shatner. And the bongo drum. Who knew, when we were laughing at that a few years ago, that worse awaited us?
Ben Cisco
@danielx: Well done. But that’s Funkadelic – no s.
/pedant
EZSmirkzz
Well let me red team the lad here for a bit. Caution O.O.D.A required.
Mr. Trump thinks he can patch the fences with Russia, and they’ll just forget about the neo-cons color revolutions, having exacted their revenge on Hillary, and since Trump has given them, or will give them the Crimea, which they already possess anyway all will be swell and we can start building condos in the Caucasus.
Meanwhile Americans will obsess about soy beans and a trade war with China, ( wonder where the deep state is on this?,) and of course sanctions on Iran, and all those do bads in like Venezuela, and having been sufficiently divided along partisan lines and economic inequality Americans will continue to play pocket pool with their buddies in whatever corner they think what they are doing is occurring, and all will be well with the world, because we are the right Americans, and we know stuff.
The red team scenario is that China retaliates and raises tariffs, followed by more American tariffs, which go into place about election time along with sanctions against Iran, and the President gets to win some loose some for the crowds in the red hats. China retaliates and raises tariffs on all US products, and continues to trade for Iranian oil, providing weapons and food stuff in return. Iran threatens to close the Strait of Hormuz, and the scenario is nearly complete for Hobbes’s war of all against all.
Europe is standing on the outside looking in, to paraphrase Stalin, how many divisions does the EU have? Well I guess they’ll just have to play pocket pogo too, because duck and cover is for school kids in post WWII America.
Someone with bigger balls than brains launches an attack on Iranian nuclear sites, and Iran responds by closing the Strait with Arab oil tankers carrying crude and natural gas and crippling the SA GSC oil fields while the US rush capital ships into the Strait to straighten things out once and for all. Iran sinks some or all of these tin cans, and the US responds with tactical nuclear weapons on Iranian military targets which triggers secret defense agreements with Russia, China and Pakistan, which results in nuclear exchanges with Israel, India and the United States.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, the American public decries the lack of patriotic stupid is as stupid does of whichever patriotic partisanship of fools they belong to, and when all is said and done, N Korea possesses S, Korea, China possesses Taiwan and Japan, Russia controls Europe and America divides along regional lines of banality and ignorance.
YMMV
lollipopguild
@Roger Moore: Free Falling…………
Ninedragonspot
I’ll give Trump this: he’s helped me appreciate just how hard it is to write a good Gertrude Stein parody.
Josie
@Roger Moore: That is a very impressive translation. What do you do for a living?
MCA1
@Teddys Person: I had been figuring the Elton John references had arisen out of free association after the Dotard said something aboutRocket Man, his bestest new buddy over in Asia. Also, too, extra Trumpian bonus for the MAGAts that the target of his “slam” just so happens to be gay.
A Ghost To Most
Dana Milbank has a new column up about the Moscow Eight.
trnc
@Roger Moore:
Hell, he’s not fit to lick Vanilla Ice’s underpants after Suge Knight dangled him from the balcony.
Yarrow
I think Trump’s nonsense speak is kind of like what Stephen Colbert’s character said on one of his early shows in his “truthiness” The Word: “The “truthiness” is, anyone can read the news to you. I promise to feel the news… at you.”
Trump doesn’t read the speeches to his audience. He feels the speeches at his audience. They know what he means. They don’t really care how he says it.
prostratedragon
Mose, Part II (for the rest of us)
(That Funkadelic, which I saw after my post, works also.)
trnc
@narya: But would you be able to translate what members of the adoring crowd say?
Miss Bianca
@EZSmirkzz: Is it just me, or is this only slightly more coherent than Trump’s word salad? I mean, I appreciate that it’s in complete sentences and all, but I’m afraid I just ain’t hep to your lingo, son. Maybe if I could get William Shatner to read it to me…bongo drums optional.
Roger Moore
@Josie:
I’m an analytical biochemist.
A Ghost To Most
@ruemara:
As applicable to the audience as to the entertainment.
Chip Daniels
“Thank you, Mr. President, for that authentic frontier gibberish.”
Josie
@Roger Moore: Ah. The keyword here is analytical. I see what you meant when you said it’s the way your brain works. I’m envious of that ability.
MJS
@Miss Bianca: It’s not just you.
Yarrow
@Baud: NO! No words from Trump should be included as a rotating tag. Only exception would be if he resigns, then the text of his resignation announcement could be included.
narya
@trnc: I suspect much of it would be a combo of anger, glee, and threats, without actually being able to make any more sense of it than the rest of us. I really don’t think they could make any coherent statement about its meaning–but I suspect they would make DIFFERENT incoherent statements about it, which would be fascinating if it weren’t so horrifying.
Roger Moore
@Josie:
It isn’t always a blessing. Sometimes it leads you into dead ends because you’re tying to make sense of stuff that’s just inherently nonsensical. I wonder if that’s what’s happening with my interpretation of Trump; he’s just spewing a bunch of random free association and I’m trying to interpret into it a coherence that was never there.
Haroldo
I think ol’ Donny wanted to show George Clinton just how it’s done, just as he’s demonstrated to Elton John. “MAGAt Brain,” indeed.
ETA: danielx @ #29 got there first.
ruemara
@Mnemosyne: I am seriously jealous. Have a good time.
gvg
i think he has Elton John on his mind because of the story about this White House sending Kim a copy of Rocket Man. Supposedly he already asked Kim if Kim knew about Rocket Man. I used to think the NK dictator was nuts. Now I think he has a lot of self control. Or maybe seeing the powerful country that has menaced yours for generations lead by a moron just makes him laugh. Good Lord.
MattF
Beyond parody. I tell ya, by the end– I was expecting words about his love of pie.
Elizabelle
A Friday evening non-Trump thread would be frosty. Enough on the word salad and addled brain of this traitor.
Omnes Omnibus
@zhena gogolia: It does not. It has nothing to do with public transportation. It is from a novel set during the French Revolution.
NY Robbin
@danielx:
And Sarah Palin just ordered another drink. . . .
Josie
@Roger Moore: Lol. I’m sure Trump’s meanderings are real irritant for you. I’ve gotten to the point that I cannot look at him, listen to him, or even read his words. I just practice complete avoidance most of the time.
maya
This is the only musical: the mouth. And hopefully the brain attached to the mouth. Right? The brain, more important than the mouth, is the brain. The brain is much more important.”
Simple: He’s letting his pal Putin know that he’s gonna get a smart blowjob on the 16th.
Roger Moore
@Josie:
For me, it’s mostly that I can’t stand the sound of his voice. If I have any control, I will turn him off ASAP. Sometimes I can read his words without trouble. I guess a tweet is about as much as I can be confident in handling in one go.
EZSmirkzz
@Miss Bianca: Well old woman, it’s a worst case scenario based on historical precedence’s, and having studied American weaknesses. Appreciate your attempt at sarcasm though, with a little work you’ll get there. I’ll withhold mine for the time being. because everyone thinks I’m a nice guy.
PS: I hit my mark.
Juju
@A Ghost To Most: does that have something to do with the World Cup?
sdhays
@Baud: I hope, if we are unfortunate enough to be subjected to another campaign with this piece of shit, that the gloves are all the way off and big ad buys go on heavy rotation with different clips of his word vomit where he’s totally incomprehensible. State it clearly: he’s not just horrible, he is not even half “there”.
eric
@zhena gogolia: “Kill the ethnics” “White Power!” “End ethnic moochers in US” — that is what they heard.
rikyrah
Jerry (@js_edit) Tweeted:
This is the slow creep of ethnic cleansing. First it was illegal immigration. Then it crept over to asylum-seekers. Then the military started ousting immigrants. Then the government started looking for excuses to deport naturalized citizens.
In just over 18 months. https://twitter.com/js_edit/status/1015240403530874881?s=17
zhena gogolia
@Omnes Omnibus:
What novel?
Miss Bianca
@EZSmirkzz: Uh, no. No, you haven’t “hit your mark”. Unless your mark was:
1. Throw a bunch of jargon around
2. ??
3. ANALYTIC VICTORY!
If *that* was the case, then yeah…right on, dude.
Miss Bianca
@zhena gogolia: Scaramouche, by Rafael Sabatini. One of my favorite authors, I might add.
The Dangerman
Palm Springs 117. Not all that surprising. San Bernardino 113. Surprising (almost as hot as PS; 113 for SB not that unusual).
Dry heat, of course.
BC in Illinois
Like Trumps 90-second “Nuclear” sentence . . .
. . . the Elton John sentence needs to be made into an assignment for orators.
I want to hear what John Lithgow would do with this material.
Omnes Omnibus
@zhena gogolia: @Miss Bianca: What Miss B said.
hueyplong
@Chip Daniels: Gabby Johnson libel.
Miss Bianca
@Omnes Omnibus: One of the reasons I enjoyed lurking round this joint for so many years was the realization that there was at least one other Sabatini fan here! : )
Just finished re-reading another of his French Revolution novels (very early effort) called “The Trampling of the Lilies.” Let’s just say…”Scaramouche” it ain’t. Though it was interesting to see his take on Robespierre.
lgerard
It is obvious that the sun has gone down on trump
?BillinGlendaleCA
@The Dangerman: Add in Glendale at 113(per NBC in LA), my weather station in the sun is showing 133, the thermometer under the eves is showing 119.
Roger Moore
@The Dangerman:
It’s 113°F in Pasadena, which is not just surprising but downright crazy. I’ve lived there for close to 30 years, and I don’t think I’ve seen it over 110°F in that time.
The Moar You Know
@gvg: None of the Kim family ever were nuts. Ruthless and brutal, yes. But not crazy. That was our media’s slant on things, not the reality.
They would not have lasted a day in power if they had been. Much like Saddam Hussein, the other “crazy dictator” who was not crazy at all.
MCA1
@lgerard: He’s not the man he thought he was at all, no no no no.
?BillinGlendaleCA
@Roger Moore: I don’t think I’ve ever seen it this hot here, and that’s going back almost 60 years.
Honus
@Baud: Christ. The president of the United States actually said those words.
The Dangerman
@Roger Moore:
Yowza, don’t think I’ve seen that for Pasadena ever. For comparison, I left Bakersfield about 10:30 this morning and came across the 46 (saw Brit Floyd in concert in Bakersfield last night; two thumbs up and I value my life too much to drive 46 around midnight … plus, Floyd show; just from breathing, I may have been impaired a little).
Anyway, all the way across to Paso, didn’t spike over 102 per car. Car said 108 in SLO (I called bullshit). Weather has 103 in Pismo (which is not all that unusual) so 108 for SLO isn’t out of the question.
?BillinGlendaleCA
@Honus: …and it wasn’t even President Baud.
FlyingToaster
@Miss Bianca: Like MJS @61 said, it’s not just you. But it looks like we have a new troll, eh?
Thoughtful David
@Roger Moore:
Nor Milli Vanilli’s.
Omnes Omnibus
@Miss Bianca: I have a first edition of St Martin’s Summer.
Chip Daniels
@FlyingToaster:
Given the mangled English, it is entirely possible it is Donny his own self, trolling us.
Or someone in Moscow.
EZSmirkzz
@Miss Bianca: First let me ask you if you even know what O.O.D.A stands for what it would imply concerning my comment. If you don’t understand that then I’m sure the remarks were lost on you. It’s no big deal, it wasn’t directed towards you anyway.
@FlyingToaster: I’m so old I can remember when John was part of the Pajama Media crew.
See! No sarcasm yet!
Steve in the ATL
@?BillinGlendaleCA: and that, my friend, is why we moved bargaining from Glendale to the Bay Area.
Haroldo
@FlyingToaster: Dunno if it’s a troll, but it’s pretty obnoxious.
Steve in the ATL
@FlyingToaster:
No, Omnes has been posting here for years
Mnemosyne
@ruemara:
I’ve been wanting to see it anyway, but getting to see it as part of G’s internship is a nice bonus. ?
Pa-Kid
@Smedley Darlington Prunebanks (formerly Mumphrey, et al.): He says he doesn’t have an organ no wonder he has such small hands
Mary G
The people he was talking to understood him perfectly, as indicated by the two blonde tots in full MAGA regalia who spoke of overpopulation in Montana. The first members of the Twitler Youth battalion.
Mnemosyne
@The Dangerman:
The day we got married in Pasadena, it was 108 degrees. All of the festivities were indoors, but my family still bitches about it to this day.
Mnemosyne
@FlyingToaster:
He’s been around for a while, but he’s never been big on coherence.
(((CassandraLeo)))
I just want to compliment Alex on the title. (For some reason, it took me a moment to remember that that song is called “Sundown”.)
FlyingToaster
@Chip Daniels: Possibly someone in Moscow, or more likely St. Petersburg. But it could also be out in one of the great square states, because (as I grew up out there) they sure as fuck don’t teach essay writing anymore.
@Haroldo: It was only marginally less coherent that than the ferret-headed shitgibbon himself. China already imposed the tariffs, and the farmers in Iowa and Missouri are screaming. The EU has all of its NATO troops — oh, why bother?
TS (the original)
@SRW1:
Preschoolers are very confident in themselves. They know they occupy a position of merit and love in their world.
No-one is as needy as the US president*, the need for adoration is beyond understanding, the letter from Pruitt the latest example of what he does to people who try and be part of the deal.
MisterForkbeard
@Mary G: Overpopulation…. in Montana?
There’s almost 30 people in the whole state! I think they’ve got some room.
FlyingToaster
@Steve in the ATL: Omnes is merely silly; not an incoherent mess.
EZSmirkzz
@Mnemosyne: Yes, I need to speak more slowly and louder.
Actually I assume most politically active people understand more than they do, or at least try and give them the benefit of the doubt. It doesn’t always work out well.
The comment under discussion(?) is well understood by people like Adam Silverman and Pat Lang. They will know exactly what I’m saying, and perhaps appreciate brevity over verbosity. If not I don’t care about that either, I laid out the red scene as I see it could unfold.
FlyingToaster
@Mnemosyne: I’d never encountered it before. Which means nothing; I drop out for weeks at a time to deal with meatspace.
EZSmirkzz
@(((CassandraLeo))): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d2Iv3IRF3oA a little Brain Salad Surgery for you.
MJS
@EZSmirkzz: No, you chose pomposity over brevity. And you continue to do so. I’m starting to think you’re Sebastian Gorka.
EZSmirkzz
@FlyingToaster: You’re looking for an essay? On the internet? In the comment section of a blog?
ROTFLMAO
EZSmirkzz
@MJS: Of course having nothing to say you proceed to show me you have nothing to add either.
zhena gogolia
@Miss Bianca: @Omnes Omnibus:
Hmmm, I read that many years ago, and I used to live in a building that had a line from it carved in stone over the door, and I’ve seen the Stewart Granger movie 50 times, but I don’t remember Omnes Omnibus. I just saw this morning on Wikipedia that the folk etymology for “omnibus” is that there was a shop in Paris owned by a family named Omnès that had “Omnès Omnibus” over the door and that’s where they got the name omnibus.
EZSmirkzz
JSYK
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/OODA_loop
It even works with politics. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ohy4JoyThis
zhena gogolia
@Omnes Omnibus:
tomtofa
He missed his time.
Would have fit right in with the Beats…
Mnemosyne
@EZSmirkzz:
When multiple people tell you that they don’t understand what you’re trying to tell them, it might be worth considering for a moment that perhaps the problem is the way you’re expressing yourself and not the other people.
Kind of like when a guy tells you that all of his exes are crazy — after a certain point, you start to realize that his exes ain’t the real problem.
EZSmirkzz
@Mnemosyne: Agreed. The writer is responsible for writing in such a way as to make their meaning clear. My bad. I don’t really have time to write a couple thousand words at the moment, and I really haven’t got any desire to start blogging again. However I’m quite sure the people I intend to reach are reading my comment loud and clear.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ci3afKw_mcY
SiubhanDuinne
@rikyrah:
That is chillingly reminiscent of Niemöller.
SiubhanDuinne
@The Dangerman:
Like cremation, then.
Jager
@?BillinGlendaleCA:
113 on the car’s thermometer on the 101 at 80mph
J R in WV
This EZSmirkzz guy — surely I haven’t missed him all this time? What a buffoon, “Everyone I want to speak to understand me, totally!” Dumber than Herr Trumpenfuhrer, nearly. Not really, no one is that dumb, but for here? Yes…
Will only speak of Pie for the rest of the life of the universe!
Miss Bianca
@EZSmirkzz: And at this point, dear readers, she thought it apropos to quote her favorite line from Sense and Sensibility:
Elinor agreed to it all with a sigh, for she did not consider him worth the compliment of rational opposition.
EZSmirkzz
@Miss Bianca: To which he replied, if you were half as smart as you think are you’d be twice as smart as you really are.
EZSmirkzz
@J R in WV: Yes this is the bastion of intellectual discourse on the internet.
Living is easy with eyes closed,
misunderstanding all you see
sometimes it’s hard to be someone
but it all works out, it doesn’t matter much to me.
Miss Bianca
@zhena gogolia: “My name,” he said, “is Omnes Omnibus”
Miss Bianca
@EZSmirkzz: Funny, that’s *just* what was going thru’ my head about you! Exactly that! This wonderful world!
@MJS: you know, honestly I’m sorry I even said anything. Because the windbag’s gassings, of which he seems so inordinately proud, would else have languished in the obscurity their obscurity deserved.
Gravenstone
@EZSmirkzz: Now I’m reminded why you were pied forever. Fuck off you pretentious prick.
Mnemosyne
@Miss Bianca:
Turner Classic Movies let me know that today is Janet Leigh’s birthday by showing me a photo of her starring in Scaramouche. Weird coincidence.
EZSmirkzz
@Miss Bianca: Isn’t it? First we lose our compassion, and when the world turns gray we spin a web of colors to shimmer like rainbows in the sunlight of each others drab light.
EZSmirkzz
@Gravenstone: Yawn
Miss Bianca
@EZSmirkzz: Sure, Tovarisch. I guess I ought to have a little more compassion – after all, I remember my first semester of Russian. It’s hard when you just don’t have the vocabulary to express your deep, DEEP thoughts, and they come out sounding like gibberish, isn’t it? There, there.
Miss Bianca
@Mnemosyne: Ooh, Janet Leigh is in the movie version of “Scaramouche”? Which I’ve never seen – dang it! Going to have to whistle that one up!
EZSmirkzz
@Miss Bianca: Oh I’m touched. So now that we’re past the introductions, what do you think of the red team scenario? How do trade wars slip into hot wars, and how does one escape an information bubble? If you should know.
Tehanu
@Mnemosyne: The day we got married in Glendale, outdoors, it was a mere 95. All the photos look like nobody’s there because everybody got out of their chairs and went to stand under the trees.
Matt
It’s true. This man has no dick.