The Elders Have Authorized a Public Service Announcement for Alex Jones: There is No Civil War Planned for Independence Day 2018, Just the Global Conspiracy Round Robin Softball Tournament and Picnic!

On behalf of the Elders, I have been authorized to inform Alex Jones, using this platform, that there is no Civil War scheduled for Independence Day. Instead we have, as per tradition, scheduled the annual Global Conspiracy for World Domination round robin softball tournament and picnic.

The Elders would like Mr. Jones to know that his claim of a Civil War is #Fake News! And since he is not responding via the device we had his dentist implant in the filling in his left, front, bottom molar when he had his wisdom tooth removed, we have had to resort to this manner of communication. Also, Mr. Jones, please see your dentist soon so we can have that thing serviced. Thanks!

Anyhow, as we do every year, at the recreational facilities at our undisclosed location (because it’s part of the global conspiracy for world domination, duh!), we will be having our annual round robin softball tournament and picnic. And let me tell you what a pain in the tuchas that is. Every year, EVERY FREAKING YEAR, it’s the same thing. The Illuminati sign up to bring the sides. And every year, EVERY FREAKING YEAR, they screw them up. How hard is it to make decent cole slaw? All you’re doing is shredding red and white cabbage with carrots, salting and peppering to taste, mixing it all together with the good mayonnaise and cider vinegar, and then tying it together with celery salt. How hard is that? If you can’t make cole slaw, how can we expect you to run your part of the global conspiracy? Don’t even get me started on their potato salad, macaroni salad, baked beans, and macaroni and cheese. How do you screw up baked beans? Open can, pour into baking pan. Mix with good stone ground mustard, brown sugar, and a shot or two of bourbon to taste. And make one batch without the fatback for those who don’t eat pork or meat. Nope, they just open the can, pour into a pot, and heat it up. Weak!!! SAD! Low Energy!!!!

As for the Bilderbergers. Masters of the Financial Universe my tuchas!!! Cheap bastards is more like it. They’re even worse than the Illuminati. I get it, if you splurge all the time, you’ll fritter away your fortunes, but these cheapskates sign up to bring the cups, plates, plastic flatware, and napkins every year. And they can’t even be bothered to get the solo cups and the decent plastic plates. No they get the styrofoam coffee cups and the flimsy, poorly wax treated paper plates. And sporks. I get the KFC connection, but really order some plastic flatware from Amazon for crying out loud!

The Trilateral Commission always brings the crappy, store bought chemical cake deserts! For Deity’s sake, every decent grocery store actually has a bakery if you can’t be bothered to go to a stand alone bakery. The good news is the Freemasons are good at setting up and running that nice brick grill every year. And we finally got the Romneys – all 300 of them including the Romney-McDaniels – to stop bringing the jello salad. We told them that the Pope was allergic to gelatin (Don’t tell anyone…) Also, he brings the good chiarascura and chimchurri. All Benedict every brought was sauerkraut. The Reptiloids just bring their own food because they have specific dietary restrictions…

Sorry, where was I? Oh yes: Attention Alex Jones! There is not a planned Civil War scheduled to kickoff on Wednesday. Please lie down in a cool dark room for a nap. And if that doesn’t help, please seek professional help before you get someone so worked up they decide to take the 2nd Amendment out for a walk and kill someone. Or lots of someones. And don’t forget to see your dentist soon, so we can get that receiver in your molar fixed. In fact we’re going to upgrade you and put one in the molar on the other side so you can receive our transmissions in stereo. For no extra charge. And have a nice day!

Stay suspicious.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled web browsing.

Open thread!

370 replies
  1. 1
    Roger Moore says:

    Don’t even get me started on their potato salad, macaroni salad, baked beans, and macaroni and cheese.

    They put raisins in the potato salad, don’t they.

  2. 2
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @Roger Moore: I said don’t get me started!!!

  3. 3
    satby says:

    Yeah, I know First Amendment, but can’t they keep this guy off the air before he gets more people killed just based on the lies he’s already told?

  4. 4
    rav says:

    Why not double elim? Round Robins take forever!

  5. 5
    JPL says:

    My favorite part of Homeland season 7 was the Alex Jones character. Spoiler Alert He was a f.king coward. Even if you never watched the series, it’s worth it to watch the episodes that the Alex Jones character is in.

  6. 6
    Gin & Tonic says:

    How do you screw up baked beans? Open can, pour into baking pan.

    That’s Step 1 in screwing them up, right? Cause that’s not the way you make baked beans.

  7. 7
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @JPL: I’m pretty sure that’s art imitating life.

  8. 8
    Origuy says:

    Try to get the Bavarian Illuminati to bring Bavarian potato salad. The Erisian Liberation Front are bringing apple pies, as always.
    Tell the Mormons to make funeral potatoes from scratch this year. The ones from WalMart taste like ass.

  9. 9
    Lapassionara says:

    They bring macaroni and cheese? The Illuminati? Is that kosher?

  10. 10
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @rav: Tradition!

  11. 11
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @Lapassionara: We have a separate set of tables for the traif stuff.

  12. 12
    Adam L Silverman says:

    I just can’t keep up anymore…

  13. 13
    MomSense says:

    @Lapassionara:

    I could always add some lobster to the mac ‘n cheese. We might as well go for it and I can use my Soros check to buy the lobsters!

  14. 14
    oatler. says:

    I hear they smoke the BBQ.

  15. 15
    Gin & Tonic says:

    @Adam L Silverman: I can’t help wondering what the word “inadvertently” means in that context.

  16. 16

    What’s all this about Cole’s Law?

  17. 17
    dmsilev says:

    I assume that the Deep State is responsible for booking the playing field and picnic tables.

  18. 18
    Phylllis says:

    mixing it all together with the good mayonnaise

    If it ain’t Dukes, I’m not eating it.

  19. 19
    dmsilev says:

    @Adam L Silverman: The classic Onion headline of ‘Why do all these homosexuals keep sucking my cock?’ comes to mind in this case.

  20. 20
    Yarrow says:

    @John Revolta: Is Cole’s Law the one where someone loses the mustard?

  21. 21
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    The Paul klan is racist.

    Film at 11.

  22. 22
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @Yarrow: Thinly sliced cabbage.

    Also, getting a Subaru stuck in a field while naked mopping.

  23. 23
    Duane says:

    @Adam L Silverman: Don’t get me started. I didn’t get invited to the softball game (again) and my Sorosbucks haven’t came. 2nd amendment rights for a walk, you say. Where’s that softball game?

  24. 24
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @Gin & Tonic: The mind it boggles.

  25. 25
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @dmsilev: That’s classified. You don’t need to know.

  26. 26
    Roger Moore says:

    @Lapassionara:

    They bring macaroni and cheese? The Illuminati? Is that kosher?

    Why would mac and cheese not be kosher? Sure, it’s dairy, but you don’t have to include any meat. And why would the Illuminati care about keeping kosher? That would be the Elders of Zion, TYVM.

  27. 27
    Schlemazel says:

    THE ILLUMINATI! Who else would put friken raisins in potato salad?

  28. 28
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @Phylllis: That’s what I’m talking about.

  29. 29
    Phylllis says:

    @Schlemazel: Karen.

  30. 30
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @dmsilev: Yes it does.

  31. 31
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @Duane: I’ll make sure the Elders take this up during new business at the next meeting. I’m adding it to the agenda now.

  32. 32
    Gin & Tonic says:

    @Phylllis: Luckily I have a daughter who lives south of the Mason-Dixon line, since you can’t get it up here in New England.

  33. 33
    Phylllis says:

    @Adam L Silverman: I get nervous when I don’t have at least one backup jar in the house.

  34. 34
    Schlemazel says:

    @Phylllis:
    Apparently Becky and Chad are the illuminati!

  35. 35
    jimmiraybob says:

    Strange. As I was reading this my left front lower tooth started vibrating.

  36. 36
    Yarrow says:

    @dmsilev: The Deep State didn’t even make it out of the Group Rounds in Russia.

  37. 37
    Phylllis says:

    @Gin & Tonic: My hubby, who moved here from Columbus GA, was looking for the mayo one day not long after arriving and asked “Where’s the Hellman’s?” My response was “Whazzat?”

  38. 38
    Major Major Major Major says:

    Can confirm that the homosexual agenda has no civil war on it; first week of July always left empty to clean up after Pride.

  39. 39
    O. Felix Culpa says:

    Interrupting the banter for a quick PSA. Here’s a way to help Texas turn blue and kick Ted Cruz [spit!] out on his ass: Send text messages for Beto O’Rourke to voters: https://secure.betofortexas.com/page/s/text-for-beto?source=ema180702-tex.

    Don’t even have to leave the comfort of your home. Now, back to menu discussions….

  40. 40
    Miss Bianca says:

    @Schlemazel: OK, I was only chortling during the comments but this one almost prompted a spit-take. Why I oughta…!

  41. 41
    Boris, Rasputin's Evil Twin says:

    I keep saying it; in a better country Alex Jones, Rush, Coulter, the Faux News group and tehe rest would be getting the care and meds they so desperately need

  42. 42
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Adam L Silverman: Um, what the everloving fuck?

  43. 43
    Mike in NC says:

    How did Alex Jones not get hired as Trump’s chief of staff?

  44. 44
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Mike in NC: It’s only June.

  45. 45
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: It’s Ron Paul. Definer of Liberty’s true meaning and long term asset of Soviet and now Russian intelligence.

  46. 46
    Adam L Silverman says:

    Speaking of conspiracies.

  47. 47
  48. 48
    But her emails!! says:

    Frack! 2 days notice! How am I ever going to find childcare on such short notice on a holiday?

  49. 49
    JPL says:

    At some point, someone will be charged with treason, and then Trump will pardon them.

  50. 50

    The Democrats are having a Civil War on Wednesday? Why was I not informed, I’ve been a party member for over 40 years!

    (Drafts angry letter to the DNC.)

  51. 51
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: Well, July actually.

  52. 52
    Chyron HR says:

    @Adam L Silverman:

    No, no, no, that’s not racist, it’s “memes”.

  53. 53
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @Chyron HR: The dankest of memes.

  54. 54
    Schlemazel says:

    @🐾BillinGlendaleCA:
    Same here, we party member are always the last to know!

  55. 55
    Wapiti says:

    Yeah, I’m not in charge, but maybe Twitter shouldn’t give blue checkmarks to people who don’t do their own tweets. If it’s going out over your signature, own it.

  56. 56

    @Yarrow: I always thought it was “If it ain’t broke, break it”

  57. 57
    lamh36 says:

    @Phylllis: @Schlemazel:

    HA…still the best Black Jeopardy sketch ever!

    https://youtu.be/hzMzFGgmQOc

  58. 58
    Steve in the ATL says:

    Why are there never Episcopalian revolutions? Think of the single malt scotch, the French wines, the boeuf bourguignon–no raisin-infested potato salad!

  59. 59
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @🐾BillinGlendaleCA: @Schlemazel: Read the damned newsletter. Do you think I type it up and mimeograph all those copies for my health?

  60. 60
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Steve in the ATL: Why would Episcopalians need a revolution?

  61. 61
    Boris, Rasputin's Evil Twin says:

    Grigori and I are signed up to provide the punch, as usual. THIS time we promise it won’t be just straight iced vodka. Sorry about that last debacle/debauch. We honestly forgot normal people need to mix vodka with other things to keep upright.

  62. 62
    efgoldman says:

    @Mike in NC:

    How did Alex Jones not get hired as Trump’s chief of staff?

    Coulrn’t afford the pay cut.

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Do you think I type it up and mimeograph all those copies for my health?

    Everyone knows you do it to sniff the fluid.

  63. 63
    Shalimar says:

    @Chyron HR: Isn’t meme a synonym for racist? Those are the only kind I ever see.

  64. 64
    dmsilev says:

    @Steve in the ATL: Unfortunately, the Revolutionary Episcopalians were all wiped out by shock troops from the Unitarian Jihad.

  65. 65
    Shreiking Wombat says:

    July 4. Is this the one the good Senators are celebrating in Moscow?

  66. 66
    Schlemazel says:

    @Omnes Omnibus:
    My vault, I start huffing the memeo fumes & lose all track of time

    and @efgoldman: beat me to it!

  67. 67

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Do you think I type it up and mimeograph all those copies for my health?

    I thought it was just to get high from the duplicating fluid.

    ETA: Beat to the punch by efg, yet again.

  68. 68
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @Steve in the ATL:

  69. 69
    Phylllis says:

    @lamh36: 1a is Tom Hanks.

  70. 70
    Jeffro says:

    @Adam L Silverman: it’s like you are SAYING there are these “Elders”…so that I will THINK you are kidding…and that’s how I know that the ELDERS ARE REAL!!

    Nice try, Deep Elder Illuminati State Man!!

  71. 71
    efgoldman says:

    @Steve in the ATL:

    Why are there never Episcopalian revolutions?

    God’s Frozen People? Never happen.

  72. 72
    Mike J says:

    Richard Kadrey @Richard_Kadrey 54m
    Alex Jones knows the truth about July4th! It’s all in this book you’re not supposed to know about. Read it if you dare!

    (go look at the “book cover”.)
    https://twitter.com/Richard_Kadrey/status/1013928835690070017

  73. 73
    TS (the original) says:

    The Obamas made 4th July a big event – trump really has no interest in the US or its traditions. All he wants is to hurt and humiliate those who disagree with him. He is president for the 27% and all they want is to be seen to be above the “others”.

    I am remaining in the mode of “this cannot be real”

  74. 74
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @🐾BillinGlendaleCA: @Schlemazel: Are you all using the correct cyphers to decode the messages we’ve been sending?

  75. 75
    Boris, Rasputin's Evil Twin says:

    @But her emails!!: Bring ’em. Grigori and I could use some help tending bar.

  76. 76
    Brachiator says:

    @Mike in NC:
    RE: How did Alex Jones not get hired as Trump’s chief of staff?

    I keep hearing rumors that Kelly will resign soon. I’m sure that Jones would be ready to fill that gap.

  77. 77
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @Mike J: Here you go:

  78. 78
    lamh36 says:

    @thehill
    Mueller team likely gained secret access to NRA tax filings, experts say http://hill.cm/lhB9yNo

    10:58 AM – Jul 2, 2018

  79. 79
    Steve in the ATL says:

    @efgoldman: it could totally happen! I’m going to bring up at the club after the regatta.

  80. 80
    Mike J says:

    @Phylllis:

    My hubby, who moved here from Columbus GA, was looking for the mayo one day not long after arriving and asked “Where’s the Hellman’s?” My response was “Whazzat?”

    In college my roommate and I had an east coast/west coast mayo feud. “Bring out the [Hellman’s | Best Foods] and bring out the best.” Still don’t know why they didn’t go with “bring out the Hell.”

  81. 81
    Brachiator says:

    @Adam L Silverman: vegan bloodbath. How does that work?

  82. 82
    Adam L Silverman says:

    What an asshole!

    From the Gazette:
    http://www.capitalgazette.com/.....story.html

    President Donald Trump has declined a request from Annapolis Mayor Gavin Buckley to lower American flags in honor of the fatal shooting of five employees of The Capital newspaper last week.

    “Obviously, I’m disappointed, you know? … Is there a cutoff for tragedy?” Buckley said Monday afternoon. “This was an attack on the press. It was an attack on freedom of speech. It’s just as important as any other tragedy.”

    Gov. Larry Hogan ordered Maryland state flags to be lowered to half-staff from Friday through sunset on Monday.

    Through Maryland’s congressional delegation, Buckley put in a request to the White House over the weekend to lower the American flags.

    Buckley had said he hoped having the American flags lowered, too, would help keep national attention on the attack.

    Trump has ordered flags lowered for previous mass shootings, including in May after the deaths of 10 people at Santa Fe High School in Santa Fe, Texas, and the shooting at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Fla., in February that left 17 dead.

    While Buckley had previously thought he might lower the city’s own flags regardless of the president’s decision, the mayor said his wife talked him out of that.

    “At this point in time, it would start to polarize people and I don’t want to make people angry,” he said.

    The White House did not immediately respond Monday to a request for comment.

  83. 83
    efgoldman says:

    @Steve in the ATL:

    I’m going to bring up at the club after the regatta.

    There aren’t enough plaid wrap skirts and giant safety pins to support it.

  84. 84
    lamh36 says:

    @lamh36:

    4m4 minutes ago
    More
    Legal experts tell McClatchy that it’s likely Mueller’s investigators, who are looking at the NRA’s funding as part of the Russia probe, secretly gained access to the NRA’s tax returns from the IRS.
    https://twitter.com/kylegriffin1/status/1013942901057863682

  85. 85
    Mike J says:

    @Brachiator: Beet juice.

  86. 86
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @Brachiator: Slurry of cornstarch and organic, non GMO, sustainably farmed beet juice as the red coloring to make vegan blood. You can find the recipe in the Veganarchist’s Cookbook.

  87. 87
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @lamh36: Read that this morning.

  88. 88
    Jeffro says:

    @Adam L Silverman: OMG that’s totally Mack Bolan ‘shopped into that! How many of those* did I read during my teen years?

    Ok it was actually about 3-4 before the crappy writing wore thin. But still!!

    *includes 1 “Able Team” and 1 “Phoenix Force” in those 3-4 books 😉

  89. 89
    Adam L Silverman says:

    For our legal flegals: I’m guessing this isn’t kosher

  90. 90
    Steeplejack says:

    @Phylllis:

    I bought a jar of Duke’s mayonnaise recently because I hadn’t had it in quite a while, and I gotta say it confirmed for me that I’m a Hellmann’s guy. But I’m not a fanatic.

  91. 91
    dm says:

    @Adam L Silverman: w-e-l-l, I suppose Paul could have said that he was shocked and disgusted and the staffer had been fired, and “don’t hire anyone who says they worked for me from XXXX to June or July 2018 without asking them and me why they left my employ”, but that would have been uncivil.

  92. 92
    🌎 🇺🇸 Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) 🗳 🌷 says:

    @Adam L Silverman:
    Why does that guy in the catsuit resemble Superman so much?

  93. 93

    My mother passed peacefully from pancreatic cancer this morning. It progressed shockingly fast — they only found a mass six weeks ago. She was 84 and lived a good life, and the silver lining is that up until two months ago, she’d been extremely healthy and active for her age, doing all the things see wanted.

    Today’s been a bit of extreme cognitive dissonance. It’s my birthday, so I’m spent the day fielding both birthday greetings and condolences. Had a feeling it was going to happen, since she’d surprised the hospice nurses by hanging on through the weekend. I was born at 9:59 a.m. and she died at 9:49 a.m. Even though she’d been unconscious for more than a week, she somehow knew.

  94. 94
    Lapassionara says:

    @MomSense: Yum!

  95. 95
    Miss Bianca says:

    @Steve in the ATL: Brother, I am toasting the Episcopal Revolution with a seasonal gin and tonic! (Hey, we may be revolutionaries, but we respect tradition!)

    @Sister Golden Bear: Oh, my dear, I am so sorry to hear that. My condolences on your mother’s passing.

  96. 96
  97. 97
  98. 98
    Mnemosyne says:

    @Steve in the ATL:

    They got theirs over with in 1567 (or 1688, depending on your reckoning). Haven’t needed another one since.

  99. 99
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @Boris, Rasputin’s Evil Twin: Our livers thank you. Please don’t forget the slivovitz for the Elders!

  100. 100

    @lamh36: I’ve seen that before and it still made me laugh when I followed your link. Thanks. I needed that!

  101. 101
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @🌎 🇺🇸 Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) 🗳 🌷: That is not a cat suit. It is a tactleneck.

  102. 102
    gbbalto says:

    @Sister Golden Bear: My condolences – best wishes to you and family

  103. 103
    Mnemosyne says:

    @Sister Golden Bear:

    I’m so sorry. But it sounds like she had a good long life and left it the way she preferred to go.

  104. 104
    Miss Bianca says:

    @lamh36: OK, that’s the first time I’ve actually seen that. *Now* I understand the true glory (?!) of “Karen’s potato salad”!

  105. 105
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @Sister Golden Bear: My sincerest condolences. I am very sorry for your loss.

  106. 106
  107. 107
    germy says:

    I see Alex Jones' July 4th prediction as an attempt to incite violent acts from the right and not just something to be casually laughed off. A lot of people casually laughed off Trump's candidacy and look how well that turned out.— Ragnarok Lobster (@eclecticbrotha) July 2, 2018

  108. 108
    dm says:

    @Adam L Silverman: but they stole it from The Seitanic Bible: for the Heavy Metal Vegan.

  109. 109
    Lapassionara says:

    @Sister Golden Bear: I am so sorry. How very sad. Take care of yourself and please let us know how you are doing.

  110. 110
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @dm: The President has a tariff pertaining to intellectual property that will sort this all out.

  111. 111
    cynthia ackerman says:

    I did not think it was a secret that this shindig takes place each year on Jekyl Island.

    Adam, part of the problem here is that these brainwave can’t be trusted to plan ahead, and when they get to Jekyl there’s no Piggly Wiggly for last-minute logistics.

    Cut these overlords some slack, will you?

  112. 112
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @cynthia ackerman: They all have their own helicopters. And servants. They need to make a better effort.

  113. 113
  114. 114
    Schlemazel says:

    @Adam L Silverman:
    What?!? we moved off the Captain Cadet decoder ring Caesar cypher? Crud I need one a them elliptical thingys . . .

  115. 115
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Sister Golden Bear: My condolences and good wishes for your birthday.

  116. 116
    raven says:

    @Sister Golden Bear: I’m sorry to hear you lost your mom.

  117. 117
    MagdaInBlack says:

    @Adam L Silverman:
    Thank you! Now Im off to youtube for an Eddie fix.

  118. 118
    eclare says:

    @Sister Golden Bear: I’m so sorry

  119. 119
  120. 120
    Gin & Tonic says:

    @Sister Golden Bear: My sympathies. I see not that much has changed – when my father died from the same thing thirty-plus years ago, it was precisely eight weeks from diagnosis to funeral.

  121. 121
    raven says:

    @cynthia ackerman: There are two LL’s in Jekyll.

  122. 122
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @MagdaInBlack: That is one of the best stand up routines. The whole Britain and the EU bit is hysterical. As is the Stonehenge set.

  123. 123
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @raven: One of them is silent, so it’s okay.

  124. 124
    Yarrow says:

    @Sister Golden Bear: Very sorry for your loss. Allso, gentle and kind thoughts for you on your birthday. Be kind to yourself.

  125. 125
    Steeplejack says:

    @Sister Golden Bear:

    Condolences on your loss. Sounds like she had a good run.

  126. 126
    Schlemazel says:

    @Sister Golden Bear:
    Sorry for your lose but what a blessing to have been healthy for so long & not linger. It is tough to say good bye I wish you peace.

  127. 127

    @Sister Golden Bear: My condolences as well. Please take care of yourself. I wish I had something else reassuring to add here, but in my experience words are fairly empty responses to loss. You’ll certainly be in this community’s thoughts, and if you ask for help, I’m sure we’ll do what we can.

  128. 128
    🌎 🇺🇸 Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) 🗳 🌷 says:

    Serious question. How come conspiracies like the one you describe don’t happen in real life? I’m in the process of writing a story that involves a collection of high-level white supremacists, reactionaries, fascists, rogue government agencies, and revanchists wanting to revive the British Empire seeking to overthrow the established world order during the Cold War (80s). Does this sound like a realistic scenario?

  129. 129
    MagdaInBlack says:

    @Adam L Silverman:
    I admit to a moment of “Wtf?……oh! ” on the “whole country full of furniture”

    I do love Eddie.

  130. 130
    debbie says:

    @Phylllis:

    Duke’s was recently introduced here. Hellmans is still better. 😉

  131. 131
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @🌎 🇺🇸 Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) 🗳 🌷: Sounds like the Thatcher administration.

  132. 132
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: Introvert? Or just can’t get a word in because the other L is chatty Cathy?

  133. 133
    Brendan in NC says:

    @Jeffro: OMG you’re right… I managed to get through several hundred of those 3 series.

  134. 134
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Adam L Silverman: Never been there.

  135. 135
    Steeplejack says:

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    But she kept the wrong one in.

  136. 136
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @🌎 🇺🇸 Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) 🗳 🌷: Do you know how hard it is to keep a real conspiracy from becoming public? The more people that have to be involved, even if everything is compartmented, the more likely something will leak out or become visible. Organized crime is effective not because they’re able to keep everything covert, but because they wield enough power and influence that no one will confirm or deny anything. Or cross them.

  137. 137
    Kathleen says:

    @Adam L Silverman: Also, tell The Elders not to plan these events on “L&O SVU Bingeathon Days”. Warn them that they will have to pry the remote from my cold dead hands.

  138. 138
    Schlemazel says:

    @Adam L Silverman:
    I got to play with an original Kriegsmarine version when I did a gig for NSA back in 2000. I had a spiffy widget for my PC the simulated an enigma but it does not work on newer Windows and the current ones are not as slick as that one was.

    Math is not my strong suit but I honest to pasta do not understand how you break that code. I have read a lot about how it was done and I know they used a lot of ‘tricks’ but to start from zero and crack it is beyond my comprehension.

  139. 139
    Mike in NC says:

    @Sister Golden Bear: Deepest condolences.

  140. 140
    Gin & Tonic says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: Sounds like one of those posters the LaRouchies would glue onto street mailboxes in the city.

  141. 141
    raven says:

    @Steeplejack: Hungadungu, Hungadungu, Hungadungu and McCormick!

  142. 142
    Kathleen says:

    @Roger Moore: Don’t know, but rumor has it they use Miracle Whip.

  143. 143
  144. 144
    debbie says:

    @Sister Golden Bear:

    So sorry for your loss.

  145. 145
    Gin & Tonic says:

    @Schlemazel: The Brits didn’t “start from zero.” They had a lot of help from the Poles.

  146. 146

    @Kathleen:

    they use Miracle Whip.

    Monsters!

  147. 147
    debbie says:

    @satby:

    Hey, so happy to read you found your pup safe and sound!

  148. 148
    🌎 🇺🇸 Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) 🗳 🌷 says:

    @Adam L Silverman:
    So I guess it would need to primarily be a small group of powerful men (and it would be all men) that have extensive contacts with covert government agencies that either bribe/blackmail who ever they need to or just kill them. They would also need to manipulate others from behind the scenes to achieve their goals.

  149. 149
    Kathleen says:

    @Sister Golden Bear: My deepest condolences to you.

  150. 150
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @Kathleen: The Elders have indicated you should get a DVR with your Soros bucks!

  151. 151
    NotMax says:

    @BillinGlendaleCA

    Not only food abuse, but classified in several more enlightened states as a plate crime.

  152. 152
    MagdaInBlack says:

    @🌎 🇺🇸 Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) 🗳 🌷:
    Robert Anton Wilson has an excellent compilation of conspiracy theories etc.
    “Everything Is Under Control” is great fun.

  153. 153
    Barbara says:

    @Sister Golden Bear: Holding you and your mother in the light. Knowing she had a good life makes it harder and easier to accept at the same time. I am so sorry for your loss.

  154. 154
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @Schlemazel: The Bletchley Park folks were very special people.

  155. 155
    Jeffro says:

    @Mike J: too funny! And so much more on-target than my World Cup picks!!

  156. 156
    Amir Khalid says:

    @Sister Golden Bear:
    Sad to hear that. It’s a consolation that her passing was peaceful.

  157. 157
    Schlemazel says:

    @Gin & Tonic:
    Understood, It was a Polish mathematician that started the work. But, by “starting from zero” I meant having an encrypted message, not having the settings or known message (A Norwegian weather observer would send “all clear” on nice days) and still being able to crack the code. The French intel also added a lot of information that allowed the polish to understand how to build a copy, before their work the Poles were guessing how the box was wired & counting more on those known messages than actual breaking.

  158. 158
    Kathleen says:

    @Adam L Silverman: I thought Goldman Sachs was bankrolling this. That’s why Hillary spoke at their event. Don’t these corrupt banksters talk to each other?

  159. 159
    Gin & Tonic says:

    @Adam L Silverman: The people who drove Turing to suicide were very special too.

  160. 160
    Brachiator says:

    @Sister Golden Bear: My deepest condolences.

    Please take care.

  161. 161
    efgoldman says:

    @🌎 🇺🇸 Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) 🗳 🌷:

    I guess it would need to primarily be a small group of powerful men

    The late Robert Ludlum wrote it, several times.

  162. 162
    laura says:

    @Sister Golden Bear: condolences on your loss. I wish you Grace and Peace.

  163. 163
    Schlemazel says:

    @Adam L Silverman:
    To put it mildly.

    There is an interesting book, “England’s Secret Weapons of WWII” that details some of the odd characters and some very funny incidents as they went about their very serious work.

  164. 164
    Shell says:

    Civil War, eh? Is it Fort Sumpter again?
    *********
    And just to note, I still have to sign in every time I come back to BJ.

  165. 165
    Shell says:

    @Sister Golden Bear: Oh no, Im so sorry.

  166. 166
  167. 167
    Steve in the ATL says:

    @Shell: yeah, Alain HATES you!

  168. 168
    NotMax says:

    @Shell

    And that will continue until Fort Sumter is spelled correctly. FYWP is a harsh mistress.

    :)

  169. 169
    NobodySpecial says:

    @Brendan in NC: Don’t feel bad. They were the male equivalent of Danielle Steel novels. Kind of like how WWE is General Hospital for manly mens. They were decent reads if you just wanted to check your brain for a few hours.

  170. 170
    Major Major Major Major says:

    @Shell: you may have to clear your cache and delete any balloon-juice.com cookies.

    My name is finally sticking around!

  171. 171
    zhena gogolia says:

    @Sister Golden Bear:

    I’m very sorry.

  172. 172
    Ruckus says:

    @oatler.:
    Isn’t the BBQ for eating?
    How do you roll it anyway?

  173. 173
    Jeffro says:

    @NobodySpecial: Stony Man Doctrine!

    Loved that one and it seems to be hard to find at the used bookstores these days…IF I had been looking, that is…

  174. 174
    sukabi says:

    @Adam L Silverman: did I miss a day, or is Wilson tweeting from the other side of the date line?

  175. 175
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @🌎 🇺🇸 Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) 🗳 🌷: It would still be almost impossible to keep it a secret.

  176. 176
    Steeplejack says:

    @Shell:

    Try doing a “hard” page refresh (Ctrl-F5 in Firefox or Chrome) to also refresh the underlying cached pages.

  177. 177
    zhena gogolia says:

    We just watched the first episode of A Very English Scandal (Hugh Grant, Ben Whishaw, Alex Jennings) on Amazon Prime, and it is excellent. I have no recollection of the actual events, but I’m going to stay away from Wikipedia so I don’t get any spoilers the way I did with Wolf Hall. Historical ignorance can be useful for enjoying a good story.

  178. 178
    Patricia Kayden says:

    @Adam L Silverman: The problem for Ron Paul is that this isn’t the first time his “staff” has “inadvertently” published bigoted trash. He also tried to use the same lie to distance himself from his racist newsletters when he ran for President.

  179. 179
    satby says:

    @Sister Golden Bear: so often loved ones hang on for a milestone, she wanted to make it to your birthday and did. Deepest condolences on the loss of your mom. It is disorienting even without a birthday to complicate it so let yourself have all the feels you need to.

  180. 180
    Major Major Major Major says:

    @🌎 🇺🇸 Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) 🗳 🌷: @Adam L Silverman: much such fiction leans heavily on a single massive hand-wavey thing, which lets us put our disbelief in that, and accept the rest of the conspiracy. E.g., the computer from The Moon Is A Harsh Mistress. Might try a writerly trick like that.

  181. 181
    Felanius Kootea says:

    @Sister Golden Bear: Condolences on your loss.

  182. 182
    trollhattan says:

    @Sister Golden Bear:
    So very sorry. Peace be unto you all.

  183. 183
    Felanius Kootea says:

    @Patricia Kayden: Yup. He seems to think everyone has forgotten.

  184. 184

    I have one simple argument why starting a civil war on the 4th of July is a bad idea:

    All the state highway patrols and county/city cops are going to be out in force with their DUI checkpoints to nab drunk drivers. Which librul is gonna be stupid enough to try and sneak molotov cocktails through a police checkpoint?

    Seriously, we’re more worried about Karen’s potato salad than about starting up a goddamn civil war. We’re saving that for when the weather cools, say September, Labor Day, that’ll work.

  185. 185
    Steeplejack says:

    @NobodySpecial:

    My father introduced me to John D. MacDonald’s Travis McGee novels, which are classics, but also to Philip Atlee’s Joe Gall novels, which . . . aren’t. But they were addictive.

    I say “introduced me,” but it was more like I randomly picked up the paperbacks after he read them.

  186. 186
    NotMax says:

    @zhena gogolia

    Pretty good, albeit plays fast and loose with some of what really took p0lace.

    The years have not been kind to Hugh Grant; he’s looking more and more like a late in life Fred Gwynne on a bad day. Had seen Mr. Whishaw in some other stuff and he’s never been less than stellar. Although apparently typecast as the go-to actor for playing a young, lanky, less than extroverted/angst ridden gay guy. If it is still available (forget if Netflix, Amazon Prime or both), check him out in London Spy.

  187. 187
    Major Major Major Major says:

    @Sister Golden Bear: so sorry to hear; sending hugs.

  188. 188
    🌎 🇺🇸 Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) 🗳 🌷 says:

    @Adam L Silverman:
    Maybe “realistic” wasn’t the best description. Perhaps I’m looking for “does not violate suspension of disbelief”. James Bond movies aren’t exactly realistic, but one should be able to find the events of the story believable in the context of the show’s universe.

  189. 189
    Patricia Kayden says:

    @zhena gogolia: Looks interesting. I must say that the British are excellent at period movies and tv shows. Thankfully, there are quite a few of them on YouTube. My favorite is “Our Mutual Friend” (1998 version). Romance, comedy, tragedy and mystery all rolled up in one.

  190. 190
    efgoldman says:

    @Patricia Kayden:

    He also tried to use the same lie to distance himself from his racist newsletters when he ran for President.

    Who cares? What fucking difference does it make? He’s a complete political non-entity; maybe a couple of racist cranks follow him. Yeah, condemn him when he posts shit like this but it won’t make a five vote difference in a primary, none in a general.
    There are bigger and nastier fish to fry.

    Fuckem

  191. 191
    Denali says:

    @Sister Golden Bear,

    I am so sorry for your loss. This was too sudden.

  192. 192
    Mnemosyne says:

    I don’t care what you assholes say, Red, White & Bleu Potato Salad is awesome, and I don’t even like bleu cheese:

    https://houseofyumm.com/red-white-blue-potato-salad/

  193. 193
    zhena gogolia says:

    @NotMax:

    I find Hugh Grant more attractive now than in his Notting Hill days.

  194. 194
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Mnemosyne: It has mayo.

  195. 195
    zhena gogolia says:

    @Patricia Kayden:

    That sounds good! We can’t pass up British period dramas or comedies. I loved that book when I read it many years ago.

  196. 196
    🌎 🇺🇸 Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) 🗳 🌷 says:

    @Major Major Major Major:

    the computer from The Moon Is A Harsh Mistress. Might try a writerly trick like that.

    Mind explaining what that means?

    How does Lex Luthor get away with the shit he does all the time? One of the main villains is that type.

  197. 197
    sukabi says:

    @🌎 🇺🇸 Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) 🗳 🌷: fast forward 40 years change the country to the US, and turn on the TV. I think you’re channeling current events.

  198. 198
    Ruckus says:

    @lamh36:
    That is the best.

  199. 199
    Steve in the ATL says:

    @NotMax: Netflix. And if you haven’t read Tom Rob Smith’s novels, you should. It’s unfortunately important that we learn as much about Russia as possible these days.

  200. 200
    Gravenstone says:

    @Adam L Silverman: that looks like a Mack Bolan cover, retitled by lunatics.

  201. 201
    NotMax says:

    @zhena gogolia

    Lots and lots of Dickens on Amazon Prime. Including the production of Martin Chuzzlewit with Paul Scofield and Pete Postlethwaite.

    Also there is Dickensian (or as I call it, Who Murdered Jacob Marley?). Labor of love production which mixes characters from many Dickens novels in one stew. A+ for effort, B+ for result. In comic book terms, think of it as Earth-Dickens. Worth a peek.

  202. 202
    zhena gogolia says:

    @NotMax:

    Wow.

  203. 203
    Gravenstone says:

    @Jeffro: you must have come to the series late, when they launched the companion series. The original books from the early 70s were kind of pulpy fun.

  204. 204
    Jeffro says:

    @Gravenstone: yup…read back up the thread, about 100 comments or so 😉

  205. 205
    🌎 🇺🇸 Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) 🗳 🌷 says:

    @sukabi:
    What’s currently going on is definitely an inspiration for me. The story is definitely an allegory for the dangers of reactionary ideology, with the help of cosmic powers/magic, leading to totalitarianism in its purest form; an all powerful, immortal maniac eliminating human free will to “protect” humanity from itself.

  206. 206
    NotMax says:

    Someone passed out at the switch. Monthly civil defense test message crawl still running across the top of the screen, announcing that it is for only 11:13 p.m. to 12:13 p.m. Now nearly four hours past the time it ought to have gone bye-bye.

  207. 207
    Jeffro says:

    @Gravenstone: came in just before SMD, but also went back a bit

    They’re all fun…so are James Bond movies and Wolverine comics. Nothing wrong with a little righteous blasting away at the bad guys, carving them up, or beating them at baccarat!

  208. 208
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @Sister Golden Bear: Deepest condolences. 84 is a pretty good run.

  209. 209
    Major Major Major Major says:

    @🌎 🇺🇸 Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) 🗳 🌷: I suppose it’s helpful to have read the book or skimmed the Wikipedia article.

  210. 210
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Jeffro: I’d have never learned how to play baccarat without the James Bond novels. I am sure that this knowledge will save my life someday.

  211. 211
    Ruckus says:

    @Sister Golden Bear:
    Sorry about your mom. Glad she didn’t suffer long. Hang on to the good times, I’d bet she’d like that.

  212. 212
    Ryan says:

    @Roger Moore: Peas in the guac also too.

  213. 213
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Ryan: That shit’s not funny.

  214. 214
    A Ghost To Most says:

    @Mnemosyne: That sounds excellent to this asshole. I may have to make it.

  215. 215
    Schlemazel says:

    @🌎 🇺🇸 Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) 🗳 🌷:
    Heinlein ‘invents’ a sentient computer that controls every aspect of life on the penal colony of the moon. he engineers a revolution to gain independence for the moon and gets away with it because so few people know he in manipulating everything/one

  216. 216
    Davebo says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: Played once at the Monte Carlo Casino during a port visit to Cannes in 1986. I lost and couldn’t afford a drink there to drown my sorrows but hey, I played baccarat in the Monte Carlo Casino so I got that going for me…

  217. 217
    efgoldman says:

    Would it kill a Boston reliever to throw a fucking strike?

  218. 218
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Davebo:

    I played baccarat in the Monte Carlo Casino so I got that going for me…

    Cool.

  219. 219
    Davebo says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: Well I’m going back to the area next May (Juan les Pins) and I earn slightly more than an E-5 these days so I just might give it another try.

    I really want to spend just one night in the Carlton hotel in Cannes. Doubt I’ll do it this trip.

  220. 220
    🌎 🇺🇸 Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) 🗳 🌷 says:

    @Major Major Major Major:
    I skimmed the article a bit and Schlemazel’s explanation helped as well. Does my explanation at 205 at least sound interesting?

  221. 221
    Gin & Tonic says:

    @Davebo: I’d love to go to the jazz fest there some time.

  222. 222
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Davebo: I want to do the Cresta Run in St. Moritz. Because I am still an idiot.

  223. 223
    frosty says:

    @Mike J: Baby steps. I’ve been converted from Miracle Whip to Hellman’s. Even for my Mom’s Classic 1950s Potato Salad. (no raisins or [shudder] hard boiled eggs).

  224. 224
    Patricia Kayden says:

    @Boris, Rasputin’s Evil Twin: Or they simply wouldn’t have such large and impressionable audiences. I can’t believe that anyone actually takes Alex Jones seriously. But alas, he has huge numbers of subscribers and followers on social media. Sigh.

  225. 225
    FlyingToaster says:

    @🌎 🇺🇸 Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) 🗳 🌷:

    an all powerful, immortal maniac eliminating human free will to “protect” humanity from itself.

    Skynet. We know what’s coming.

    Actually, everything right now looks like a run-up to Neuromancer, so I’m trying to make sure everything’s sufficiently diversified before the grand economic collapse.

  226. 226
    trollhattan says:

    Boy howdy, Cousins goes to Warriors? Pacific Division should be…interesting.

  227. 227
    Davebo says:

    @Gin & Tonic: My girl has a small 1 bedroom flat there five minutes walk to the beach. She doesn’t normally rent it out but maybe I could hook you up! This will be my first trip there.

  228. 228
    efgoldman says:

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Because I am still an idiot

    I bet you only do it once

  229. 229
    NMgal says:

    And don’t forget to see your dentist soon, so we can get that receiver in your molar fixed.

    Fun fact: IRL, Alex Jones’s dad is a dentist in Austin. I know someone who was his patient. Mr. Jones (pere) is rather embarrassed by his son, by all accounts.

  230. 230
    Davebo says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: Umm.. Yeah.. That’s nuts!

  231. 231
    Jim, Foolish Literalist says:

    @Davebo: I really want to spend just one night in the Carlton hotel in Cannes. Doubt I’ll do it this trip.

    For me it’s the Connaught in London. And while I’m in England throwing money around I’ll spend a night at the Randolph in Oxford, and raise a glass to Inspector Morse in the bar. I don’t imagine I’ll be the first Morse-ophile to do this.

  232. 232
    Major Major Major Major says:

    @FlyingToaster: Snow Crash is the more accurate cyberpunk future methinks.

    @🌎 🇺🇸 Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) 🗳 🌷: #205 is reminiscent of many things I enjoy reading. One thing, just personally, is that I don’t like it when allegory gets in the way of story.

  233. 233
    ruemara says:

    I seriously do not understand how that man has followers who believe him.

  234. 234
    danielx says:

    @Origuy:

    What about the Fluffy Bunny Bund and the Dykes on Bikes?

  235. 235
    NotMax says:

    @Adam L. Silverman

    But wait, there’s more. Use also restricted to only stories painting them in a “good” light.

  236. 236
    Kayla Rudbek says:

    @Sister Golden Bear: sorry for your loss.

  237. 237
    Mnemosyne says:

    @ruemara:

    He makes stupid people feel smart. You can gwt very, very far on that kind of grift.

  238. 238
    Steve in the ATL says:

    @ruemara: his followers are morons. If they were not morons, they would not be following him.

    Apologies for answering your rhetorical question, but it’s good to remind everyone that Alex Jones’ followers are morons.

  239. 239
    debbie says:

    @Major Major Major Major:

    Amazing that the dirt aired during his divorce didn’t sink him, particularly his assertion that he was portraying a character on his show.

  240. 240
    debbie says:

    @debbie:

    Damn fat finger. I was replying to rumera.

  241. 241
    frosty says:

    @🐾BillinGlendaleCA: Hey! That’s my Mom you’re calling a monster…. and me until Spousal Unit forced me to make it with Hellman’s and I reluctantly agreed it tasted better. /pout/

    ETA: My nym! My nym!!!!

  242. 242
    Steve in the ATL says:

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    I am still an idiot.

    Dossier updated. No–never mind–that was already in there!

  243. 243
    danielx says:

    @🌎 🇺🇸 Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) 🗳 🌷:

    It sounds a shitload more plausible than Donald Trump in the White House. Who knew?

  244. 244
    FlyingToaster says:

    @Major Major Major Major: Is the future going to be a powerless federal state with infinite private enclaves/policing or is it going to be a balkanized US where the major economic centers are unified despite state boundaries and the rest of the place is left in the dust? Where a zaibatsu has more input into every damn thing than your alderman? Fuck if I know.

  245. 245
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @efgoldman: Probably. St. Moritz isn’t really my style for an Alpine resort. But the Cresta is there.

  246. 246
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Steve in the ATL: I used the fucking word “still.”

  247. 247
    Davebo says:

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: She’s in London 4 or more times a year and loves this smaller hotel but honestly I can’t remember the name. I do remember it’s all inclusive with good fizz.

    Next years trip is 3 nights at GlenEagles, then Juan les Pins for 5, the 2 nights at St. Andrews. I haven’t played golf since the 80’s but I’m starting lessons now as she generally does 2 10 day trips each year to GlenEagles and I make at least one of them. A time share house near the hotel. I’m liking falling for a Scottish girl so far.

  248. 248
    J R in WV says:

    @Phylllis:

    You people are strange… everyone east of the Mississip knows Hellmans is the best. And Best is Hellmans, west of the Mississip…

    We have a flash flood warning running 90 miles across central WV. Strange weather pattern, air flow from the South, meeting an airflow from the WNW, the storm grew SWward as the two air masses met. Very odd looking on the NWS radar…

    Softball?? I’m going to stay in if it’s as hot as it has been… so hot it takes my breath away! Running mid-70s, we’re in the shade mostly. That helps a little. But still, so hot, so humid. Makes the recollection of working at Ingalls shipyard in Pascagoula all summer pale!!!

  249. 249
    NotMax says:

    @Steve in the ATL

    Jones apparently managed to squirrel away a lifetime supply of the brown acid.

  250. 250
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @NotMax: No one else used it. There were warnings.

  251. 251
    frosty says:

    @Sister Golden Bear: My condolences. I lost my mom a little less than 2 years ago, after years of decline. I don’t know if grief is easier to take if it’s sudden or if it’s more loss year by year, but in either case it’s hard.

    Both my parents hung on until just after their birthdays; my dad until the day after he turned 80.

  252. 252
    Mary G says:

    @Sister Golden Bear: Condolences to you and your family.

  253. 253
    James E Powell says:

    @Sister Golden Bear:

    Condolences to you and yours.

  254. 254
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    So, the comments pages don’t seem to have this problem, but the main page, Firefox tells me, is still transferring data from ‘cdn.syndication.twyimg.com’. In perpetuity.

  255. 255
    frosty says:

    @Davebo:

    (Juan les Pins)

    I camped there for a few nights when I did a Railpass Walkabout n my 20s. It took me a day or two to remember to pronounce the J instead of of leaving it silent, Spanish style.

  256. 256
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @Steve in the ATL: Well, of course. A couple of decades ago the guy voluntarily jumped out of perfectly good airplanes.

  257. 257
    Major Major Major Major says:

    @FlyingToaster: I’m mostly thinking of how the Snow Crash economy seems to be fully Uberized and how they have privately run white supremacist colonies next to privately run extensions of China, and the major rising political force is climate refugee cultists.

  258. 258
    danielx says:

    Be it noted that Two Tone Potato Salad is most excellent, and I don’t want to hear any shit about the capers and green olives.

  259. 259
    JAFD says:

    My condolences to Sister Golden Bear. My father passed on about three weeks after his 90th birthday, my mother, the next year, about three weeks short of hers.

    I was raised on Hellmans, but, IMAO, have concluded that it has too much sugar and too little vinegar. Mrs Schlorer’s is the best commercial brand, but the ShopRite store brand is also very good.

    There are, of course, alternatives:
    “”A unique tradition among the better families was the interest which men took in cooking: often the men marketed for meat, and, curious fact, it was their prerogative to make mayonnaise.”
    John Lukacs, _Philadelphia, Patricians and Philistines, 1900-1950_ (c)1981, p. 16 “

  260. 260
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Villago Delenda Est: Freefall is even better. But I did it too late to get a badge. Jumping is fun AF.

  261. 261
    🌎 🇺🇸 Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) 🗳 🌷 says:

    @Major Major Major Major:

    Yeah, I’d definitely try not to let the message of the story overwhelm the story itself. An issue I’m having is conceptualizing how magic can exist in a universe with fairly realistic physics. One solution I came up with is that the two universes were once one in the same a thousand years ago or so, incorporating a lot of medieval myths like Arthurian legend. Fact is, they weren’t myths, but are faint memories of something that actually existed before some other power decided to remove the magical elements from Earth and edit history. I’ve also thought that an immortal but weakened Merlin (perhaps he would be the one to have done it?) would be a character in the story, having eventually run out of luck and gotten caught in an increasingly smaller world sometime in the 20th century, being studied by the cabal I talked about in attempt to gain immortality.

  262. 262
    Yarrow says:

    @ruemara: People believe what they want to believe. He encourages them to believe the crazy stuff they want to believe so his followers are happy.

    He makes most of his money selling supplements. I really can’t believe people buy his supplements and other crap. I mean, how is he any kind of expert? Awhile ago I ended up on some health website and clicked through to read about some crazy sounding supplement they were recommending. It took me to his site. I couldn’t believe it as the website itself didn’t seem that insane. I let my cursor hover over links to other things they were recommending and they all linked there. I guess it was a front website for his supplement crap. I closed that tab right quick!

  263. 263
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @Yarrow: The supplements are offered to “cure” the effects of chem trails and other invented conspiracy crap, and his moran followers keep buying the stuff, which has no actual real effect whatsoever, because the maladies are utter fantasy.

  264. 264

    The snark is string with this one.

  265. 265
    The Very Reverend Crimson Fire of Compassion says:

    @Sister Golden Bear: Oh, baby, I’m so sorry. I just lost my own Mom this spring, and the ironies that pile up around their deaths can feel gratuitous. Know that you are thought about, prayed for, and rooted for.

  266. 266
    Zelma says:

    @Sister Golden Bear:
    Deepest sympathy. It’s hard that you lost her on your birthday.

  267. 267
    Major Major Major Major says:

    @🌎 🇺🇸 Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) 🗳 🌷:

    how magic can exist in a universe with fairly realistic physics

    Well… it’s magic :)

  268. 268
    Yarrow says:

    @Villago Delenda Est: Someone did a comparison of his supplements and Gwyneth’s Paltrow’s Goop supplements. They’re selling the same or very similar stuff but marketing it in completely different ways.

  269. 269
    Jay says:

    @frosty:

    Hellmans, hard boiled eggs chopped fine, alder smoked thick bacon. Wallawalla onions,

  270. 270
    frosty says:

    @🌎 🇺🇸 Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) 🗳 🌷: Sounds interesting, particularly the long lost magic remembered as myth. My advice is to try not to overthink the details, just state it and run with it. I tried writing a sci-fi novel years ago and got hung up on describing the characters’ ages (he’s 26) when Earth and Earth years were nowhere to be found. It didn’t seem to bother any of the other authors I read.

  271. 271
    Mnemosyne says:

    @Yarrow:

    I think that one of the commenters here said that the best place to buy supplements is Costco, because they have fairly strict quality control standards for their house brand, unlike most companies.

  272. 272
    Major Major Major Major says:

    @🌎 🇺🇸 Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) 🗳 🌷: @frosty: Agree with frosty: sounds interesting; don’t overthink it.

  273. 273
    Brachiator says:

    @ruemara:

    I seriously do not understand how that man has followers who believe him.

    The fearful and ignorant eagerly follow the angry and ignorant.

  274. 274
    frosty says:

    @Jay: No no no no no. If you put eggs in it it’s egg salad. Potatoes, celery, onions, and mayo*. And a sprinkling of paprika on top for color.

    * Of course , one *may* have to redefine Miracle Whip as mayo, 50 years ago, anyway.

  275. 275
    Tehanu says:

    @Sister Golden Bear: Sorry for your loss, hope you’re holding up all right.

  276. 276
    barbequebob says:

    @Mike J:

    Company that makes Hellman’s is Best Foods, so I think they are the same thing with different names East/West USA.

    I am a lifelong Hellman’s fan (live in Northeast). Currently in AK I eat Best Foods and as far as I can taste, it tastes same as Hellman’s to me.

  277. 277
  278. 278
    Steve in the ATL says:

    I’m trying to have a pleasant evening, but people keep bringing up Miracle Whip….

  279. 279
    NotMax says:

    Snippet (from memory) of an old Hudson & Landry bit. Interview with a country yokel visiting the Big City.

    REPORTER: So what do you grow on your farm?

    YOKEL: Buckwheat and radishes.

    REPORTER: That brings in good money, does it?

    YOKEL: The buckwheat, yeah. Not the radishes though. No sirree. They’re a loser.

    REPORTER: Why do you grow them then?

    YOKEL: To keep away the wolverines, dummy! Ev’rybody knows that!

    REPORTER: In all the years you’ve lived three, have you ever seen a wolverine?

    YOKEL: Nope. Them radishes really work!

  280. 280

    @barbequebob: They’re the same, I think the Best Foods packaging even says it’s Hellman’s east of the Rockies.

  281. 281
    Yarrow says:

    Does someone have one of those tiny violin emojis?

    Harvard's Alan Dershowitz says defending Trump has made him a discrimination victim: "I have experienced this firsthand on Martha’s Vineyard. Old friends are shunning me and trying to ban me from their social life."— John Harwood (@JohnJHarwood) July 2, 2018

  282. 282
    Davebo says:

    Well I’m off. Tomorrow is a surreal day for me. It marks 5 years since my wife of 24 years passed and at the same time I have dinner with my new love, then my birthday celebration on the 4th.

    One can remember the love lost without dwelling too much in the past and trying to make a new future I suppose.

    Wish me luck. Doing a 5 bone standing rib roast Wednesday for a small gathering. Hope they like it at most medium rare!

  283. 283
  284. 284
    MoCA Ace says:

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    One of them is silent, so it’s okay.

    The first one or the last one?

  285. 285
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @barbequebob: According to Wikipedia, Hellmann’s and Best Foods are both made at the same plant, from the same recipe. As recently as 2003 they were slightly different, Best Foods being a bit more tangy. But now, same thing.

  286. 286
  287. 287
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @Yarrow: Snowflake. Really stupid political choices have consequences.

  288. 288
    debbie says:

    @Yarrow:

    Whomp whomp.

  289. 289
    James E Powell says:

    Over the years I’ve enjoyed a variety of recipes for potato salad and macaroni salad. Every family’s got their essential ingredients and I’m wiling to try almost anything.

    But if you’re making cole slaw, then it’s got to be Marzetti’s.

  290. 290
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @NotMax: This is like Lisa Simpson and the rock that repels tigers.

  291. 291
    Jay says:

    @frosty:

    No, no, no, no, no,

    No more than 3 boiled eggs, 3 different potatoes, bakers for the fluffy, Yukons for the flavour, boilers for holding the texture.

    No celery or celery seeds, might as well add cilantro,

    Malt vinigar, not white, added to the potatos after the boil, fresh parsley, salt and pepper added to the potatoes not the salad.

    A mix of blend and chunks, 40% blend, 60% chunks, fork ready.

    Wallawalla’s raw, for sweet and crunch.

    Up here, when it hits +38c, it’s a summer meal, not a side, with watermellon for dessert.
    Done right, it

  292. 292
    SiubhanDuinne says:

    @Steve in the ATL:

    Wherever you find four Episcopalians, you’ll find a fifth!

    Whiskypalians, Rum’n’Catholics.

    (Got a million of ’em. Try your waitress, tip the veal.)

  293. 293
    Kay says:

    @jdawsey1
    4h4 hours ago
    More
    Scott Pruitt told EPA aides that he wanted his wife to make $200,000 or more a year — and suggested she get a job at the Republican Attorney Generals Association, which he led. He also asked EPA lawyers to help him win a dispute with his landlord.

    I love “help him win”. Not just help him, but win. I hope he said that. He probably did.

    Let’s not even get into that he asked EPA lawyers to help with his sleazy, corrupt landlord tenant dispute. Because that’s right up their alley.

    Someone needs to write a book just about the corrupt things Pruitt has done since 2016. It’s book-length, that story.

  294. 294
    Ruckus says:

    @Mnemosyne:
    I think they actually have standards. That’s a step up for a lot of supplement suppliers. And of course there are brands that are done right but they are mostly things that you actually need.

  295. 295
  296. 296
    NotMax says:

    @barbequebob

    Exact same product, different label.

    Have grown fond of the Wilsey’s whole egg mayo from Costco. Reminiscent of the mayo one gets at a top notch deli. And for less than half the price of Hellman’s get a container twice as large.

    The Kirkland (house brand) mayo at Costco tastes darn close to Hellman’s and costs much less as well.

  297. 297
    🌎 🇺🇸 Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) 🗳 🌷 says:

    @frosty: @Major Major Major Major:

    Well, I’ve always been that person that asks questions about lore and plot holes. I’ve always been interested in back stories and settings. It always annoys me when a book, TV show, or movie purposely leaves the wider world of the setting and how it works vague.

    Thanks for the feedback! All of this has been in my head for awhile and even when I start to plan it out on “paper”, the story goes through organic changes. I’m also afraid I’ll write shitty/offensive characters that I won’t be able to write sensitively enough. I guess I’ll just have to suck it up one of these days.

  298. 298
    Yarrow says:

    @Mnemosyne: @Ruckus: Costco is good but has a limited selection. If you’re looking for some more unusual things you have to go elsewhere.

  299. 299
    SiubhanDuinne says:

    @Sister Golden Bear:

    Oh, what a loss. I’m so sorry. I’m not going to wish you a happy birthday, but I hope in years to come your birthday celebrations will be coloured by happy memories of your mother. Big {{{{{hugs}}}}} to you in the meantime.

  300. 300
    Yarrow says:

    @NotMax: But if you buy it at Costco you have to buy those huge containers. I couldn’t use that much mayo in a year!

  301. 301
    NotMax says:

    @Davebo

    Highly recommend the Chef John method. Foolproof.

  302. 302
    Steve in the ATL says:

    @SiubhanDuinne: if I may be pedantic, it’s “where two or three are gathered, there’s a fifth”

  303. 303
    Peale says:

    @Kay: when Baud finally becomes president, I am going to to ask him to appoint me to the EPA. I will invite the heads of the oil companies and their chemical industry flunkies to a secret meeting in Pruitt’s secure room for an eight hour behind closed door meeting and just yammer on about professionalism and decorum. I will have dined on a meal of baked beans, beets and cabbage beforehand. I won’t say “pardon me” once.

    Seriously, this is the best the industry could do? They have no better crooked people?

  304. 304
    Major Major Major Major says:

    @🌎 🇺🇸 Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) 🗳 🌷: sure, but don’t waste your time dwelling on those things. They’re going to change as you write anyway.

  305. 305
    Ruckus says:

    @Yarrow:
    I don’t actually shop there any more. It’s sort of a pain, there isn’t really one near me and the cost of the membership was not quite paid for by the savings. I’m a family of one and I haven’t eaten like a teenager in years.

  306. 306
    J R in WV says:

    @Sister Golden Bear:

    Condolences!! Late due to the weather and shaky sat connectivity, but heartfelt for all that. Sounds like she had a good life.

    Take care!

  307. 307
    Aleta says:

    @Sister Golden Bear: Sending sympathy.

  308. 308

    Thank you all. Today has been… complicated… but I’m hanging in there.

    And yes, she did have a good life, travelled the world and to all seven continents. One reason she opted for hospice care only, she didn’t want to go through chemo, etc. and live out her months being housebound. (Plus I suspect she somehow knew that things were more advanced than the doctors thought.)

    One small consolation: I’m leaving in less than two weeks to go to Thailand for major surgery and won’t be back until mid-August. So while this happening now has been hugely disruptive to prepping for the trip (and prepping for the post-op recovery once I’m back) at least it didn’t happen while I was away. Both so I could spend time with Mom, and so that I’ve also been able to help out my brother in starting to settle her estate. (Neither of us lives in SoCal, I’m in the Bay Area and he’s from Rhode Island, which makes things far harder.)

    BTW, just wanted to say that while I rarely get a chance to comment, keeping up with the jackaltariat is one of the things keeping me sane these days — especially the last few days.

    Off to see some good friends and strong alcohol shortly.

  309. 309
    Aleta says:

    @Davebo: Best wishes for the cooking and for your remembrances.

  310. 310
    Kay says:

    @Peale:

    One of his aides had to eat a 600 dollar tab she covered for the Pruitt family because he was too fucking lazy to get his expenses in on time. After that he had them running the Pruitt family personal stuff on government time.

    Someone should call 911. The Pruitt family need to be collared before they get away with this heist. They owe us several million dollars in restitution and they’re still looting as we speak.

  311. 311
    J R in WV says:

    @🌎 🇺🇸 Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) 🗳 🌷:

    When you ask “Does this sound like a realistic scenario?” you forget what fiction is. It is stuff that you make up. Realistic isn’t related to fiction. People write fiction with a president selling out to a hostile foreign power, how is that realistic?

    See how that works?

  312. 312
    Aleta says:

    @Sister Golden Bear: What a deep combination of circumstances. Sending pure positive thoughts for your easy travel and recovery and good surroundings.

  313. 313
    Redshift says:

    @Yarrow: In the longer quote Harwood also posted, Dershowitz referred to it as “social profiling,” in a misguided attempt to sound less pathetic by pretending it’s like racial profiling, instead of just that people have no obligation to associate with you if you’re defending a monster.

  314. 314
    NotMax says:

    @Ruckus

    Am a family of one as well and do 95% of my food shopping there. 3% at the still new here Target (consistently best priced Peet’s coffee, excellent prices for staples such as flour and sugar), the remaining 2% split among different stores which I don’t frequent much at all (such as an open to the general public store which caters to the restaurant trade and has a wide selection of Asian items, as well as ridiculously low prices* for things such as aluminum roasting pans and the like).

    That said, I only go grocery shopping once per month.

    *Price comparison – $4.99 or higher for a single aluminum roasting pan at the supermarket, 79¢ at the other store.

  315. 315
    Major Major Major Major says:

    @J R in WV:

    People write fiction with a president selling out to a hostile foreign power, how is that realistic?

    Hell, my book makes more sense than that, and my book doesn’t even make sense!

    Thanks again for the help!

  316. 316
    frosty says:

    @🌎 🇺🇸 Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) 🗳 🌷:

    I guess I’ll just have to suck it up one of these days.

    Yep. I’ll give you Heinlein’s Rules:
    1 You must write.
    2 You must finish what you write.
    3 You must not rewrite except to editorial order.
    4 You must put it on the market and keep it on the market until sold.

    I failed at #2. Good luck to you!

  317. 317
    Mike J says:

    @Sister Golden Bear: I’m sorry for your loss.

  318. 318
    dww44 says:

    @Sister Golden Bear: My condolences. My father-in-law died on his only grandson’s birthday in 2001. My Mom died at 2 a.m. on the day after my birthday. I think she stayed alive those couple of hours so that I wouldn’t always be sad on my birthday. I well understand all the mixed feelings you’ve had on this day.

  319. 319
    SiubhanDuinne says:

    @Steve in the ATL:

    if I may be pedantic

    Stop right there.

  320. 320
    Major Major Major Major says:

    @frosty:

    Heinlein’s Rules[…] 3 You must not rewrite except to editorial order.

    That explains some things.

  321. 321
    SiubhanDuinne says:

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    One of them is silent, so it’s okay.

    Back to talking about Trump’s farts, are we?

  322. 322
    Yutsano says:

    @Sister Golden Bear: Oh my goodness! Much love and peace to you and your family.

    And the obligatory Fuck Cancer.

  323. 323
    West of the Rockies says:

    @Sister Golden Bear:

    I’m so sorry. Yes, I’m sure she knew in some deep-brain way. Hug those you love.

  324. 324
    Jim, Foolish Literalist says:

    @Redshift: Dershowitz referred to it as “social profiling,” in a misguided attempt to sound less pathetic by pretending it’s like racial profiling,

    /scene from a Vineyard den as a party is planned/ ‘Honey, you said he’d be interesting after we watched that movie, but he wasn’t, he’s just tedious and overbearing and picks all the cashews out of the mixed nuts, and anyway I thought you meant the Jeremy Irons character. We’ve kept him on the list to avoid a fuss, but really, at this point …..’

  325. 325
    danielx says:

    @Yarrow:

    Harvard’s Alan Dershowitz says defending Trump has made him a discrimination victim: “I have experienced this firsthand on Martha’s Vineyard. Old friends are shunning me and trying to ban me from their social life.”— John Harwood (@JohnJHarwood) July 2, 2018

    Can’t think why the Onion is even publishing at this point. Self-parody, thy name is Alan.

    I have rarely read anything said with more self absorption and less self awareness.

  326. 326
    Major Major Major Major says:

    @danielx:

    I have rarely read anything said with more self absorption and less self awareness.

    Dave Weigel noted on Twitter that it sounds like Morrissey lyrics.

  327. 327
    Redshift says:

    @Sister Golden Bear: My condolences, and I’m glad she had a good and long life.

  328. 328
    frosty says:

    @Major Major Major Major: LOL. Nevertheless, I’d consider a bunch of rewriting to fall under #2, finishing what you write. It isn’t finished until you’re either happy with it or weary of trying to fix it. #3 says stop there unless the editor you’re selling it to wants changes. Whether that’s what Heinlein meant ….

    I do better with reports and papers for work than fiction. I can get to #3 and if they accept it, then it’s #4, even though there’s no payment.

  329. 329
    NotMax says:

    @danielx

    I believe the term is WATB.

    :)

  330. 330
    danielx says:

    @Steve in the ATL:

    Why are there never Episcopalian revolutions? Think of the single malt scotch, the French wines, the boeuf bourguignon–no raisin-infested potato salad!

    And social order. Episcopalians are big on social order.

  331. 331
    Redshift says:

    I’ve had more medical adventures myself lately. Right now I’m waiting to pick up my sweetie at the airport, but I’ll tell the tale when I have more time.

  332. 332
    danielx says:

    @NotMax:

    That too. Poor man, was he expecting actual civility, now?

    Edit: I am sure that under normal circumstances the denizens of Martha’s Vineyard are very civil. Given their socioeconomic strata, what do they have to be uncivil about, restaurant choices and seating? But alas, these are not normal times and circumstances, and I don’t imagine Trump fans are thick on the ground on the Vineyard.

  333. 333
    NotMax says:

    @Steve in the ATL

    The ambrosia salad irredeemably weighs down the negative side of the balance.

  334. 334
    Brachiator says:

    @Steve in the ATL:

    if I may be pedantic, it’s “where two or three are gathered, there’s a fifth”

    I’ll drink to that.

  335. 335
    The Lodger says:

    @🌎 🇺🇸 Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) 🗳 🌷: Not in the least, but have fun with it anyway.

  336. 336
    efgoldman says:

    I go away for an hour or so, and we’re still in the same fucking thread?
    Front pagers all get arrested?

  337. 337
    Mike J says:

    @Major Major Major Major:

    accept the rest of the conspiracy. E.g., the computer from The Moon Is A Harsh Mistress.

    Remember what al-Qaeda meant? Some people said, “the base.” Some said it was “the database”, the list of would-be martyrs that OBL had. Of course a computer is the best way to compartmentalize the conspiracy.

  338. 338
  339. 339
    Origuy says:

    @danielx: Heh. I was actually referring to The Illuminatus Trilogy by Robert Shea and Robert Anson WIlson. Every secret society wrapped up into three volumes. The whole thing in PDF.

  340. 340
  341. 341
    Ruckus says:

    @NotMax:
    Considering where you live I can see that I might make the same decision about shopping there.
    However here in the land of fruits and nuts, we have a lot of choice and some of those choices I make because I can walk there. Costco, I have to drive about 12-14 miles to the closest although there is one on the way to work that is about 15 miles. Also for what I buy, strangely enough Whole Foods is very price competitive and walkable. Target is not price competitive in anything I want, at least every time I’ve compared. The big chains here aren’t bad for most things but consolidation has been happening over the last few years and that can put a damper on pricing. We also have 2 major chains of supermarkets catering to the latino world. I used to shop in one of them a lot when I lived in a different part of LA and the quality, variety and pricing is good. Especially if you cook a lot of Mexican specialties, the butcher sections are amazing.

  342. 342
    Ruckus says:

    @dww44:
    My sister passed on our mom’s 90 th birthday. We had a party in her hospice room, all her friends, mom of course…. I stayed on after most everyone else left, talked for a few minutes, she said she was tired, I left, she was gone in about 15 minutes. Cancer got her. I’ve had the pleasure of cancer, as did mom. So the obligatory, FUCK, Fucking Cancer.

  343. 343
    Ruckus says:

    @NotMax:
    I believe if you look in the dictionary under WATB you will find a picture of Alan D. and the explanation that he is only one of the more notable examples. And it has been thus for a number of years.

  344. 344
    cwmoss says:

    @Gravenstone: Was thinking the same thing, but couldn’t recall the name! Delightfully titled Executioner series.

  345. 345
    Davebo says:

    @NotMax: In the oven? On 4th of July? Blasphemy!

    In the Big Easy oilless fryer is the only way to go. And I’m doing a 5 rib roast. And no garlic slipped into slits on the top and sides? Crazy!

    Can’t believe I let you lure me into watching a video on how to ruin a $140 piece of beef!

    Go to your room and don’t come back till you appreciate rare meats prepared well!

  346. 346
    TriassicSands says:

    @Ruckus:

    I’ll bet Dershowitz taped “Kick Me” signs on his own back in middle school so he could whine about being a victim when someone did kick him. Anything for attention.

  347. 347
    Calouste says:

    @danielx: These people just want “asshole” to be a protected class.

  348. 348
    TriassicSands says:

    @Sister Golden Bear:

    I’m sorry to hear about your mother.

  349. 349
    Ruckus says:

    @Calouste:
    A privileged, protected and well paid class. They want it all and can’t understand why people aren’t lining up to award it to them. They should keep it up for a while longer and I’d bet people will be lining up to award them with something.

  350. 350
    Canadian Shield says:

    Something I never understood that I posted on blogs after Trump won: Rather than just making fun of the Alex Jones stuff…why not challenge them? Your friend is President, he can demand to see and share any Top Secret material the State has. If you think it’s a ‘Deep State’ thing…his Party also has control of the House and the Senate. Sandy Hook a false flag operation run by the Government? Obama was not born in the USA? Pizza/Child Sex ring? Crisis Actors at ?, China invented the Global Warming Hoax? FEMA Camps? Why doesn’t a Dem Congress-critter or Senator ask for an investigation and tie it onto this sort of ‘Alex Jones and his breaking news’ stuff. There are a bunch of crazy people that actually believe his crap, it seems an easy way to put them on the defensive. ‘We tried to get a Special Council to investigate the ‘False Flag Operations’ but the Republicans wouldn’t let it come to a vote.’ If nothing else, it’s some future ammunition for the next Dem Administration (maybe).

  351. 351
    NotMax says:

    @Davebo

    5 lb. and $140? That’s almost 30 bucks per pound. Even at the stratosphericly priced Hawaiian meat counters, 5 lb. runs about 80 or 90 smackeroos.

    Note to self: Bring smelling salts if ever shopping in Nawlins.

  352. 352
    Yutsano says:

    @efgoldman: Sshhh…let the TBogg happen…

  353. 353
    Aleta says:

    @danielx: I read that Dershowitz column (the Hill): he says his old friends are “trying to ban me from their social life on Martha’s Vineyard” and it means that McCarthyism has come to the Vineyard. (gag)

    But start and finish he’s actually making a horrible attack on Maxine Waters, whom he blames. And instead of mentioning the serious racist death threats she got last week, he describes his willingness to suffer (the loss of dinner invites) because of his unbiased commitment to civil rights. He’s appalling.

    Rebecca Traister just wrote about Waters in one part of “Summer of Rage: White men are the minority in the United States — no wonder they get uncomfortable when their power is challenged.”

    We’re busy worrying about the humanity — the comfort and the dignity — of white men, at the same time discouraging disruptive challenge to their authority.
    (—) Just look at how freaked out the Democratic Party leadership got about California representative Maxine Waters.

    (In 1992, after the four policemen who beat Rodney King were acquitted) many in the media and local politics were quick to label the events as riots, to throw around the term “thugs.” The original violence done to King by white male agents of the state — and the lack of consequences they faced — was practically forgotten, while black fury in response to the toleration of police brutality was framed as the only violence being done.

    Waters was then in her first term as a congresswoman, representing part of the South Central Los Angeles neighborhood where the unrest was unfolding.

    Waters (…) recognized that the unleashed fury of an oppressed people is a form of political rebellion, one not so distant from the revolution that led to the creation of the United States.

    But so electric was Waters’s take on insurrection, circa 2018, that leaders of her own party censured her. Senate Leader Chuck Schumer chastised Waters directly, noting that “no one should call for the harassment of political opponents” and describing such a suggestion as “not American.” (It is, in fact, deeply American; see again, the American Revolution.) House Leader Nancy Pelosi also chimed in, calling the “lack of civility” of protesters “predictable but unacceptable.”

    Neither Pelosi nor Schumer defended Waters against the implicit threat in a tweet sent by the president, in which he called Waters “an extraordinarily low IQ person” and accused her dishonestly of advocating “harm to [his] supporters,” concluding with the grim admonition “Be careful what you wish for Max!”

    To publicly rebuke a black woman’s support for protest and not the powerful white patriarch’s thinly veiled call to violence against her is to play on the very same impulses that Trump himself plays on: racist and sexist anxiety about noncompliant women and nonwhites, and the drive to punish them. 

    It’s one thing that Waters’s opponents on the right have casually referred to her as “unhinged” and that Fox News host Eric Bolling once told her to “step away from the crack pipe,” but that her own colleagues fall into casting her as too much, as too combative and fearsome, is a goddamn travesty.

    On Wednesday, Vermont Independent and left-wing hero Bernie Sanders came out on the side of civility, arguing that Trump officials had “a right to go into a restaurant and have dinner” without being harassed. That Sanders, a man who made his name by channeling the righteous rage of the 99 percent, a politician who was credited, along with Donald Trump, in 2016 for his ability to hear, respect, and channel the fury of the electorate … is now throwing water on another kind of righteous rage, is pretty rich.

    These people had nice dinners in restaurants interrupted. They did not have their children pulled from their arms, perhaps forever; they were not refused refuge based on their country of origin or their religion or the color of their skin; they were not denied due process; nor were they denied a full range of health-care options, forced to carry a baby against their will, separated from their families via the criminal justice system, or shot in the back by police for the mere act of being young and black.

  354. 354
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @Aleta: Bernie can go pound sand.

  355. 355
    Misterpuff says:

    Of course we’re not having a Civil War,

    However, we will be participating in an Uncivil War Reenactment where Libs kick Confederate and Nazi Ass with a side of Hun Heinie for dessert.

  356. 356
    BubbaDave says:

    @Sister Golden Bear: So sorry to hear that. May her memory be a blessing.

  357. 357
    barbequebob says:

    @NotMax: thanks everyone for the confirmation on the Hellman’s=Best Foods Mayo

  358. 358
    jl says:

    The Deep State screwed up the surprise July 4 Civil War again!!??
    WTF. I’m done with those incompetent losers.
    My grandpa told me when the Trilateral Commission could get shit done. Those were the days.

  359. 359
    J R in WV says:

    @Sister Golden Bear: There is no hurry about dealing with the estate. Tell your brother to just wait for you to be ready.

    Have the CPA work on the taxes and the valuations while you’re — but tell them to be prepared not to file a thing until you’ve had a chance to go over everything on your own.

    Time is not important in this matter. Best of luck with your planned surgery~!!~ Take care and keep in touch…

  360. 360
    Sloane Ranger says:

    @Sister Golden Bear: My condolences on your loss. Eventually you will find comfort knowing that she lived a full and active life almost to the end.

  361. 361

    @J R in WV: Thanks, it’s more about dealing with her possessions. In theory, we’ve got 30 days to clear out her apartment at the retirement community, although they’ve since indicated there’s some flexibility, and my brother and I agreed that if needed, we’d see if we can just pay rent for an extra month of two, or else put things in storage temporarily until we can deal with them. (Neither of us living near her complicates things.)

    I agree, there’s no rush on the financial estate, and I’ll probably take the lead on that when I get back, since I’m the first executor. (Had to put together a notarized letter officially resigning as executor so my brother can handle things while I’m out of the country. When I get back, he’ll resign and appoint me as the successor executor again.)

  362. 362
    Robert Sneddon says:

    @🌎 🇺🇸 Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) 🗳 🌷: The Lord D’arcy stories by Randall Garrett are an interesting and rather fun series of stories, murder mysteries set in a world a bit like today’s but where magic exists and science is regarded in much the same way we regard alchemy today. The Talented can use magic, regulated by the Church in Britain and France under the rule of a Plantagenet King — the turning point in history was that Richard III survived his wounds, John Lackland was never king and magic was discovered and codified at that time.

    The primary character is Lord D’Arcy, a Hercule-Poirot-level detective aka King’s Investigator who is accompanied and assisted by Master Sean O’Loughlainn, a forensic sorceror. One of the stories even reprises Agatha Christie to the point of being called “Murder on the Napoli Express”. Excellent reads with a lovely bit of world-building in the background.

  363. 363
    Matt McIrvin says:

    @Adam L Silverman: So, just like the race-war crap that people inadvertently put in his newsletters completely without his knowledge, back in the day?

  364. 364
    Matt McIrvin says:

    @Mike J:

    Remember what al-Qaeda meant? Some people said, “the base.” Some said it was “the database”, the list of would-be martyrs that OBL had.

    Some said it was really “The Foundation” and they were science-fiction nerds referencing Asimov. Probably not true, though.

  365. 365
    Matt McIrvin says:

    @Major Major Major Major: Eventually Heinlein got famous enough that no editor would give him that order, and we all saw how it turned out.

  366. 366
    Matt McIrvin says:

    @efgoldman: In hindsight, Ron Paul’s 2012 movement and the weird support it got from some leftists prefigured the Bernie-or-Buster hard left’s preference for Trump over Clinton. Not large in terms of votes, but it was close enough that weird media phenomena like that could have been significant.

  367. 367
    Just One More Canuck says:

    @Yarrow: what he meant to say was “my defending trump has made everyone realize what an asshole I am”

  368. 368
    Matt McIrvin says:

    @🐾BillinGlendaleCA: We already defeated Christmas, now we’re having a War on Wednesday.

  369. 369
    Boris, Rasputin's Evil Twin says:

    @Adam L Silverman: We’d never do that. We’re considerate alcoholic madmen.

  370. 370

    I was more than happy to find this page. I wanted to thank you for your time for this particularly wonderful read!!
    I definitely loved every bit of it and I have you saved as a favorite to check out new things in your web
    site.

Comments are closed.