Things overheard whilst a zippy Pomeranian named "Chunk" escaped his yard and chased after me while I walked Greyson and Lucy this morning. A thread:
— Cherie Priest (@cmpriest) May 23, 2018
"THEY ARE GONNA EAT YOU! DON'T DO IT! I LOVE YOU, CHUNK, GET BACK HERE!"
— Cherie Priest (@cmpriest) May 23, 2018
I have been in Chunk’s momma’s shoes. (Yes, and I have introduced myself, more than once, as “[insert dog’s name] mommy”, because social norms stop being embarrassing, eventually.)
ME: "IT'S OKAY! YOU CAN LOOK! THEY WON'T HURT HIM, THEY LIKE LITTLE DOGS!" (this woman was down the block, on the other side of the street, incoming)
WOMAN: "YOU DON'T KNOW THE LITTLE SHIT LIKE I DO! HE'LL BITE THEIR ANKLES AND THEY'LL SNACK HIM!"
— Cherie Priest (@cmpriest) May 23, 2018
"HE'S A HORRIBLE LITTLE SHIT AND I LOVE HIM, PLEASE DON'T LET THEM EAT HIM!"
— Cherie Priest (@cmpriest) May 23, 2018
Lucy: [IS 100% HERE FOR THIS NEW GAME]Chunk: [BEGINS PEEING ON EVERYTHING WITHIN REACH]Greyson: [IS ALSO A BOY DOG AND EVERYONE KNOWS THE LAST BOY-DOG TO PEE ON THE SPOT WINS]Chunk: [IS UP FOR THE CHALLENGE]Lucy: [STILL JUST WANTS TO PLAY WITH HER NEW LITTLE FRIEND]
— Cherie Priest (@cmpriest) May 23, 2018
Chunk's Momma: [arrives, out of breath] [scoops up Chunk] [hugs Chunk tightly] [realizes Chunk is now spattered in pee, some of it not his own] [quite reasonably sets Chunk back down on the ground] "DEAR GOD."
— Cherie Priest (@cmpriest) May 23, 2018
Epilogue: I went home and threw my sneakers in the washing machine, and these two are still smiling because Chunk’s momma told them they were very good and gave them pettings. pic.twitter.com/zuS5A4KLQq
— Cherie Priest (@cmpriest) May 23, 2018
(Many heartfelt thanks to Baroo, God of Small Dogs, for the tolerant big dogs!)
Trentrunner
Whatever the Twitter equivalent is of the Oscars, she just won it.
M4
Hey, I read her books!
p.s. this is Major etc. and I just don’t feel like typing that each time I want to comment now that the form isn’t saving my info
LAO
I laughed so hard, I cried when I read this yesterday. My god, the comments were almost as good as the thread.
Lahke
Thanks for making me laugh out loud for the second time tonight (first was watching Book Club, which is a major hoot).
BCHS Class of 1980
Ah, you forgot possibly the best tweet of them all, where the lady refers to her Pom as a “fat little ferret in a bear suit.”
SiubhanDuinne
@Lahke:
Glad to know that. Am hoping to see it in the next few days. I’ve not read any of the 50 Shades books, nor seen any of the films, but I suspect I know just enough to pick up on the Book Club references. At any rate, what a cast, eh?
Kristine
Cherie’s pet epics are the best.
dnfree
Much shorter favorite memory from probably 40 years ago–a group of “bigger” kids, maybe 6-8 years old, running down the street, and a little kid maybe 3-4 running after them shouting “Sons of bitches! Wait for baby!”
TaMara (HFG)
That was excellent. And I’ve been in her shoes – though not the peed version. thanks for the laugh
Ben Cisco (onboard the Defiant)
This is the funniest thing I read today. What I wouldn’t give for some video.
trollhattan
@dnfree:
Oh lord, how awesome.
lahke
@SiubhanDuinne: yes, I’ve avoided the 50 Shades books also. It’s okay, you already know enough to get all of the jokes. And the cast is indeed great, and clearly enjoying themselves. Lordy, Jane Fonda looks great too. What is she, 80?
Emma
I laughed so hard I got the hiccups. Thank you. I needed that.
M4
@dnfree: that’s great lol
eclare
That was great, I needed a laugh! Also love the kid running after the other kids cursing at them!
TaMara (HFG)
BTW, finally got 6 month pictures of Scout here. And bonus Bixby.
kindness
What good kids. Pretty too.
NotMax
@SiubhanDuinne
Still snicker that a character in World of Warcraft picks up a book while searching a necromancer’s lair (well, hut) and says, “Hm. What’s this? Fifty Shades of Shadow.”
satby
Perfect happy thread to end the night! Sweet dreams everyone.
maeve
Reminds me of an encounter when I lived in a small town in southern New Jersey – me walking my many-mixed “shepherd-collie” – he was black and tan but his nose was short (I think he had Rottwieler in him) but also some kind of dog that left him with feathers on his elbows – was very reactive to dogs on leash but the trainer I had thought he was part golden retriever) and my poodle mix (adopted her at a shelter which claimed she was part Kerry Blue terrier but she could have been a poodle shnauzer mix). Guinness ( the multimix shepherd whatever) was reactive to dogs when on leash but also is okay off leash and never has actually assaulted another dog) and Maeve (the poodle mix) is an alphadog wannabee and snarls at all new dogs but never actually bites anyone)
Anyway – we’re walking down the middle of the (small town) street – I forget why but I think because a car was parked in a driveway but blocking the drive way – and there is a groups of people exchanging greetings or whatever in a doorway (I think it was probably their visitors who had parked in their driveway which is why we had to go to the street) and their Jack Russel is peeking out their legs and the charges! and Attacks!
This wouldn;t have been a super big issue but another dog across the street ( a beagle mix looking dog as I recall) also took the opportunity to respond to the call of battle)
In the end no harm done – I remember pulling up on my two dogs leashes to keep their heads in the air because I wasn’t worrying about them but about whether they would bite the other doges.
Still a memorable moment
Jim, Foolish Literalist
Greyson and Lucy are a handsome pair
can we do a laughing face emoji? that’s hilarious
ETA: and another laughing face emoji
I make with the link, but it’s the Hill, I can’t imagine there’s anything more to this worth reading
Major Major Major Major
@Jim, Foolish Literalist:
?
You can use a̴n̸y̴ ̶c̶h̷a̴r̸a̵c̵t̴e̸r̷s̶ you want, as l̴̯̪̺̉́̐͝o̷͕̮͇̅̑́n̷̲̿͐̅ͅğ̴̝̰͎̌̔͝ as they’re in ȕ̸͇̯̇̀̀̏̎̀n̷̙͖̈ĩ̶͈͙̺̼͖͎̠̺̱͗͑͜c̴͕͚̥͚͇͗̈́̿͝o̶̬̲͒̽̒̓̓̃̏̋̕d̴̳̳̰́̆̒̏̀̕͘ẽ̷͕̘̟̥̉̀.
eclare
@TaMara (HFG): Awww….also so glad Bixby is feeling better.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@Major Major Major Major: My cat’s name is Mittens.
(Is there a Ralph Wiggum emoji?)
Mary G
@Ben Cisco (onboard the Defiant): Some of her commenters were demanding she buy and wear a GoPro on a headband.
I probably read this ten times yesterday and when I got angry to burst read it a couple more times. Another favorite:
NotMax
@Major Major Major Major
If you ſay ſo.
;)
(Fingers and toes crossed that remembered the code for the long s correctly.)
M4
@NotMax: well done.
ArchTeryx
I have to say that I was crying laughter reading that Twitter thread. I know a rather boisterous Pom myself – much more elderly but still has a lot of spunk – and boy I could so easily visualize this scene.
What a beautiful pair of doggos, too. I feel sorry for Chunk’s mom, but not for the little shit getting what he richly deserved – a scrubbing and a grooming after his little adventure in the Big Wide World.
Suzanne
Chunk is just an awesome name.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@Suzanne: It is. Much better than Greyson, for a dog.
Fenton is somewhere in between.
eclare
@Jim, Foolish Literalist: Hahaha! Another great laugh!
M4
@Jim, Foolish Literalist: Chunk would work for a cat too.
Jager
@dnfree: A pack of little boys ran across our back yard, the straggler, about 3, maybe 4, was chasing after them. He stopped, pulled down his pants, shit in my backyard, pulled up his pants and took off after the rest of the kids. My daughter was in Jr. High at the time, said “That’s Meagan’s little brother Ryan. He’s kind of weird.Meagan says he pees out of his bedroom window sometimes.”
WereBear
Triggered a fond memory of our Roscoe (shepherd/Malamute mix, about 90 pounds) taking little Arby (Norwegian Elkhound/Lab mix, about five pounds) around the back yard, showing him the ropes.
Roscoe would water his stations, and then Arby would contribute his. I was crying I was laughing so hard.
Anne Laurie
@WereBear: Similar memory: Experienced rescue Zevon introducing the new kid, two-year-old puppy-mill neurotic Sydney, to Suburban Male Dogliness. Zeev sniffs a clump of fresh grass, nibbles a stem, lifts his leg on it. Sydney zips up, pees on Zeev’s spot, takes a biiig bite of the clump… and sits there, green stems sticking out of both sides of his mouth, obviously thinking “Did I somehow mess up the sequencing, there?”
Anne Laurie
@Mary G: A dear friend with a very dog-reactive field Afghan Hound referred to small dogs, aggressive or not, as croutons. “Please go tell that lady with the crouton not to come any closer, if she loves her dog!”
WereBear
@Anne Laurie: That made me laugh again.
To me, dogs and cats have such CLEAR facial expressions, like seeing easy equations on a blackboard.
And yet some people can’t see any.
Luthe
I thought this thread was going to be about Lily, Rosie, and Thurston.
dnfree
@Jager: Also hilarious!
TommoRolassi
@Anne Laurie: the phrase “zips up” threw me, in the context of micturition. Wait, what now? — he zipped up *before* he peed?
Annie
LOL and what a good way to start a Friday morning!