I lay down to take a nap this afternoon and had my phone with me by the bedside table (normally I turn the damned thing off or have it on a charger somewhere), so when Steve jumped up on my chest and started demanding food, I took the opportunity to take some pictures so you will know how my day starts EVERY. SINGLE. MORNING.
First, he walks into the room and announces his presence. That sometimes wakes me up, and I try to be very still and pretend I am still asleep and don’t hear him. Then I lie there hoping that playing possum works, but usually it does not, and since Steve is plus size, the next thing I hear is him defying all the laws of physics and and gravity projecting himself onto my bed. From there, he slowly climbs on top of my chest, and gets his face really close to mine, sometimes so close I can feel his whiskers. Like this:
The key to possum is not making eye contact and just not moving. So he’ll sit there and stare at me until his gaze penetrates my eyelids. Other times he will knead, start out slowly, increasing the pace and force and the amount of claw every few seconds until it feels like a bantamweight boxer is working out on the heavy bag. Sometimes even more aggressive measures are employed, like a swift “THWAP” to the face:
Notice the serious look on his face as he delivers a deft right hook. When I finally wake up, he stands on me triumphantly, declaring victory, letting me know what I have to do:
“Rise and shine, fatty. Home team needs breakfast.”
Manyakitty
Heisenberg does that, but he also likes to stick his face in my mouth. What a delight.
Amir Khalid
Actually, that looks like a right hook. Or maybe it’s a haymaker.
Cckids
That’s awesome. My tortie Hermione dies that when she decides she is insufficiently adored. Usually between 1-4 a.m.
Luckily for me, she’s only half Steve’s size. Still packs quite the punch though. She also, instead of standing on my chest, will put both front feet on my larynx & lean. It’s a little scary, like being strangled.
Love her anyway.
Nicole
He may be a persistent pain in the neck, but he’s awfully pretty.
Pyre Light
My family’s first cat, when he climbed on your chest like that, would stick his head under your chin and purr and drool like a small water pump.
zhena gogolia
Husband’s comment: “Boy, he looks like he walked right out of Andrew Lloyd Webber’s costume department.” (We’ve been reading ALW’s fabulous memoir and we’re in the Cats saga right now.)
Amir Khalid
I was not able to send a comment deletion request. Hay-ulp!
Omnes Omnibus
@Nicole: That’s been said about me a lot of times.
mai naem mobile
JC I think you should put together a bunch of your cat posts and publish them. I think you could pay off your mortgage with the proceeds.
Amir Khalid
After 14 years, I’m well used to seeing Bianca from that close. Right before she starts in tongue-bathing my face and scalp.
RepubAnon
Sounds like Simon’s Cat informing Simon about the sad state od the cat food bowl:
Cat Man Do
No One You Know
Our cats tag-team us. One stalks up and down the bed, then us, talking all the time. One remains resolutely pinned by gravity and claws to our feet. She’s not Steve-sized, she’s a British shorthair and dwarfs the other two.
The third materializes through the space-time warp in the closet and gets in the way as best she can.
BruceFromOhio
Dogs have owners, cats have staff.
It’s right there in the manual.
Amir Khalid
I wonder if all these cops are tasked with keeping the protesters out, or Najib in.
Olivia
We got an auto feeder for a very similar situation with Bubba. It works great; except now, after he scarfs it all down, he wanders throughout the rooms of the house howling and vocalizing his opinion of the meal for a minimum of 15 minutes until he jumps on my back and falls asleep.
randy khan
Anybody else heard right-wing folks say that Trump will sue Daniels and Avenatti after he leaves office and bankrupt both of them?
I mean, it’s palpably ridiculous, but the guy seemed utterly convinced, even if he couldn’t explain why. I reminded him that Avenatti was pretty rich, but that seemed to just bounce off him.
Delia
Cats are psy-ops terrorists. This is known.
Omnes Omnibus
@randy khan: What is the theory under which he sues Avenatti?
SWMBO
@Omnes Omnibus: He has the best suits using the best words. And if that’s not enough, he will stiff his lawyers and stomp off and play golf.
Jeffro
@randy khan: they can console themselves with whatever fairytales they want …Trumpov ain’t suing anyone, he’s going to JAIL
(Also, WAY TO GO CAPS!!! ??❤️?)
eric
@randy khan: with a likely limitations period of one year for intentional torts, that will be a nice trick.
SFAW
@Omnes Omnibus:
Are you under the impression that “pretty awful” is the same as “awfully pretty”?
Frankensteinbeck
@Manyakitty:
I owned a rat for awhile, and loved him dearly. He was, to my good fortune and infinite joy, a rat who would not pee or poop outside his chosen bathroom area, so I could let him run around anywhere. Since I only had one rat, that gave me the option of letting him run around on my bed while I slept, thus providing socialization time rats desperately need. He loved it.
There was only one drawback. At exactly 3am (I have no idea how he knew) every night, he would stick his nose up mine.
randy khan
@Omnes Omnibus:
I’m sure you will be unsurprised to hear that he didn’t actually suggest any theory. I suppose the idea might be some kind of scenario in which Trump bankrupts them by burying them in litigation, but that would assume that Trump actually has any money.
SFAW
@randy khan:
Projecting again, apparently.
Of course, experienced as he is with bankrupting his companies ….
Omnes Omnibus
@SFAW: I understand word order.
SFAW
@Omnes Omnibus:
“Anybody can sue anyone for anything”? Of course, if we’re talking about lawsuits with any kind of chance of success, well, that’s a different story.
SFAW
@Omnes Omnibus:
So you say.
Betsy
Speaking of phones. Does someone want to fill me in on the sudden meme of “woman in blue sweatshirt and sunglasses on mobile phone, cut and pasted into various situations” is about. Who is this person? Why is she being cut and pasted? What did she do?
lamh36
Hello BJ!!! Been MIA for a bit just working and prepping for this Australia trip!
I’ve been so busy and tired I haven’t really had any time to plan anything which is soo unlike me! But I do have an idea of what I want to see and do in both places, but I’m going more spontaneous than I usually do when I travel!!! And with this double knee pain I’m working with…ugh…Guess I’ll just let go and let the universe do its thing & be optimistically pessimist about it all just to cover my bases???
at least I finally finished shopping and Finally mostly packed up for Australia… this is everything except pair of jeans, a t-shirt and socks, undies and toiletries all in one above storage carryon and not even counting my one personal item. And I can probably fit one more vacuum bag in there!! pretty proud of myself
https://twitter.com/psddluva4evah/status/995857340065861637?s=21
sdhays
Those pictures are seriously freaky! With Steve’s shave on the rest of his body, his head looks disembodied at first glance, and little bit off-center on second. It must be terrifying!
kindness
That is so cute. John you are blessed.
Omnes Omnibus
@randy khan:
Um, golly.
rikyrah
These are some great pictures, Cole.
Steve still terrifies me, but, you captured his essence.
I hope that at least one of these winds up in this year’s BJ Calendar.
rikyrah
@lamh36:
Great packing, lamh.
So jealous of your trip. Hope that it’s fabulous?
Amir Khalid
@randy khan:
Or, for that matter, any lawyers who know what they’re doing.
rikyrah
Sargent from the Plum Line nails it:
https://twitter.com/ThePlumLineGS/status/995740087232188417?s=20
rikyrah
@Betsy:
She is the White woman in Oakland that called the police on the a
Black people BBQ’ing in the park.
Betsy
@Betsy: okay. So it looks like from the versions I’ve seen, she called law enforcement on people being people while black?
Betsy
@rikyrah: Ah. Thank you.
Schlemazel
The late, lamented, Edward Wellington Mouseripper III would gently snuggle up next to me when I napped & purr quietly to keep me warm & comfortable. The current creature will march up and down & bang into my hand until I try to pet her then she will move just to the edge of my reach. If I stretch to pet her she will stay for a minute then move out of range. After that she will start marching back and forth and banging into my hand again.
captnkurt
I’m heartbroken to share news of the sudden loss today of Django, Resident Good Boy, aka Spazzy McGee.
Here are some pictures through the years (he was only about 6), and while he’s lying down in many, that’s only because it was so hard to take a nonblurry photo of him in his natural state, namely zipping around the living room, or tackling neighbor dog Rocky, or pulling my arm out of its socket during walks if a squirrel or neighborhood cat dared show its face, or tiring out every other dog at Kims K-9. (They literally used him to wear out all the other groups of dogs) If he took a liking to you, he would be yours through thick and thin, but he saved his growls for a special few, for reasons he kept to himself. Sorry about that Julie Campbell, I feel like he was your Moby Dick. Or maybe you were his.
My mom was housesitting while we were away at a rowing regatta. It pains me that I didn’t get to see him the past couple of days, and must have gotten home just an hour after he passed, apparently peacefully though unexpectedly. We’ll miss you Django.
btom89
@Omnes Omnibus: He’s welcome to try—Avenatti is of the Order of the Coif (if that’s the way to refer to someone who was number one in their law school), at a great law school, and has a fantastic reputation and decades of experience. Trump has a shitty reputation and as a result, can not get a decent lawyer to represent him in a court (see Cohen, Guiliani). Not to mention, if Trump sues him, Avenatti will use discovery to drag even more dirt against Trump out into the open and religitate all of his usual schemes and tactics in the public eye as well as any court of their choosing. No private arbitration. Trump is now a public figure and is of public concern because it now involves so many people who might be affected by his behavior as president so they now have a right to know.
rikyrah
@Betsy:
Here is the original story
https://twitter.com/sahluwal/status/995013117766610944?s=20
rikyrah
@captnkurt:
Sorry for your loss??
efgoldman
@Omnes Omnibus:
Distraction and misdirection.
You probably missed that class in law school.
FlipYrWhig
@rikyrah: I just can’t believe they’re going with “when liberals say mean things it has tragic effects on the comity of the nation” when DONALD FUCKING TRUMP is currently president and every Republican campaign ad is about how Hillary Clinton and Nancy Pelosi are devils.
FlipYrWhig
@Omnes Omnibus: The “people don’t understand what lawyers do” theory.
SgrAstar
@lamh36: really looking forward to hearing about your adventures! Don’t forget to take enough painkillers to control your knee pain if necessary. A friend of mine broke his leg on a hike, ate an entire bottle of Advil, and walked out. Not really recommended… :)
rikyrah
@Betsy:
Here is how the community responded??
https://twitter.com/LawyerRogelio/status/995238176141860864?s=20
Steve in the ATL
@Omnes Omnibus:
Is that what’s been said about you?
Suzanne
I got in a Facebook fight with a friend-of-a-friend (actually a friend-of-an-ex-who-can’t-let-go), who kept making easily verified factual inaccuracies. Me being me, and me feeling impish, I kept hammering him on it, and he got pissed, refused to admit he was wrong, said I was annoying and an asshole, this is why the Right hates the Left, said that I should learn to let go so I could have friends, the whole nine yards. Dude’s name is Aaron.
I successfully resisted responding, “Ya done messed up, A-A-RON!” but now I kind of regret it.
Omnes Omnibus
@efgoldman: I skipped vertually no classes in law school: OTOH, I never took trial practice. My legal education was appellate and/or academic in orientation.
Omnes Omnibus
@Steve in the ATL: You may have missed something.
Calouste
@randy khan: I can see it being pretty easy for the shitgibbon to sue Daniels and Avenatti, and bankrupt both himself and Melania.
efgoldman
@Omnes Omnibus:
I understand that Distraction and misdirection.was only taught at Harvard and Cooley.
Omnes Omnibus
@btom89: I was being sarky.
Mike J
@Steve in the ATL: Not everyone in New York would pay to see Andrew Lloyd Webber
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XmydFtlJxYk
randy khan
@Calouste:
That is, if Melania does’t divorce him first.
Omnes Omnibus
@Steve in the ATL: No, that I was pretty and “Vampire!” I don’t tan well.
Steve in the ATL
@btom89: coif is generally top 10%
Roger Moore
@mai naem mobile:
IIRC, Mr. Cole doesn’t have a mortgage; he bought his house at a foreclosure auction.
Steve in the ATL
@Mike J: how long have you been waiting to post that one?
middlelee
@captnkurt: I’m so sorry to hear about Django’s passing. And he had a great face.
randy khan
@Roger Moore:
Are you sure that mai naem mobile doesn’t know that?
catclub
@Amir Khalid:
The cat with the very sharp tongue as a kitten, still has a very sharp tongue, especially when licking my head.
satby
@captnkurt: deepest condolences captnkurt! These sudden losses are the hardest because you aren’t prepared. Django looks happy and loved in his pictures, especially snuggling with his blanket. You gave him that, and that’s all they want or need. May you and your family be comforted in time.
Villago Delenda Est
Her serene highness wakes me in the morning for her first five treats of the day (there’s a bowl of kibble that she pointedly ignores without having an appetizer first) in the following manner:
1. Sit on chest.
2. If that fails to work, scratch on furniture
3. Repeat as needed.
Aleta
We call that stare his mind control practice. Until a few months ago he’d offer a couple of pleasantries to soften the wake up call. A fantastic purr in my ear, and once in awhile a delicate scalp massage that was nice. The last six months the gloves have come off, claws all the way out. Not good. If he keeps escalating and I perish, there will be no one around to open his cans, and I hope he’s sorry then.
Villago Delenda Est
@captnkurt: Oh, Django was a good boy. He’s chasing butterflies in a sunny field right now, though. Deep condolences to you and yours…it’s never easy losing a companion like Django.
OldDave
@captnkurt: Sorry to hear of your unexpected and sudden loss. This has not been a fun few weeks for those of us with four legged friends and family. May your memories be of the good times.
Aardvark Cheeselog
I’m glad to see he’s recovered his dignity. It works well with the lion cut.
NotMax
If you didn’t want him to do this stuff, you’d take the time to train him not to.
Q.E.D.
(Just finished 3+ hours of mowing, so may be a touch on the cranky side.)
Yarrow
Steve is a gorgeous boy and he will not be ignored!
Aleta
@captnkurt: What a special dog. I’m very sorry.
Yarrow
@captnkurt: So sorry. He was a very good boy.
Mary G
@captnkurt: Condolences. He was all ears and legs and adorable.
jl
Sorry Cole, I can’t do anything about some blegs out here on the Left Coast.
Someone from around Pitts area will have to swing by and save you.
Put up a paypal for the hospital bill, if you survive.
Why do you let feral bobcats inside your house anyway? It’s going to F up your dainty new indoor decor.
Thanks for nice Steve petpix.
Ella in New Mexico
Cats are fuckos. It’s part of the bargain for the fact they come home every night. As my four say “Deal with it, Hooman.”
jl
Since open thread, here is Krugman saying what Dave Dick Mayhew said a few days ago on Trump’s make Big PhRMA rich again drug proposals. Krugman has supply and demand diagrams (I guess those are two mundane for dukies). I don’t think Krugman’s column is wonkish for anyone who remembers anything from Econ 101, and BJ has a erudite commentariate.
What’s Good for Pharma Isn’t Good for America (Wonkish)
https://www.nytimes.com/2018/05/12/opinion/whats-good-for-pharma-isnt-good-for-america-wonkish.html
Villago Delenda Est
@jl: For a guy who has a bachelor’s from Wharton, it’s very obvious Donald learned nothing at all.
efgoldman
@Villago Delenda Est:
“Has” is not the same as “earned.”
Has his degree, and who granted it, ever been verified?
Villago Delenda Est
@efgoldman: He surely (ha! I crack myself up some times) must have absorbed SOMETHING from all those classes he slept through. He received a bachelor of science in finance from U Penn. His claim to “Wharton” is more idiocy like claiming Trump Tower has 10 more floors than it actually has.
His claims for honors have been thoroughly debunked.
jl
If a commenter will kindly provide me with an ‘all clear’ I’ll read the post.
In the past, posts with similar titles and subject matter have included lurid tales of Cole’s pets eagerly leaping with joy to gulp down rivers of his hot freely flowing blood.
Those scare me, especially when it’s too close to my bedtime.
Villago Delenda Est
@jl: I’m reminded of a line from the Newhart finale: “Ok, that settles it. No more Japanese food for you before going to bed.”
jl
@Villago Delenda Est: From a quick glance through the post, I think Steve ate the bobcat. Is that right?
Amir Khalid
@Villago Delenda Est:
A university degree and an education are not the same thing. Many Trumpenleute have only the one.
Lalophobia
Apparently Ice Cube is involved now, however tangentially.
It just keeps getting weirder.
rikyrah
Pointing out that racists are racists hurts their fee fees???
https://twitter.com/JamilSmith/status/995672376082825216?s=19
Amir Khalid
@jl:
Steve must be really hungry then, if he’s still menacing John Cole to give him food.
jl
@Amir Khalid: I thought Cole’s pets were always menacing him to given them food, no matter what.
Amir Khalid
@Villago Delenda Est:
I think that one who reasons “my uncle was a scientist, therefore I am a genius” is impervious to things like knowledge and logic.
Villago Delenda Est
@rikyrah: I think I speak for everyone here when I say “The snowflakes can fuck off.”
Villago Delenda Est
@Amir Khalid: Pretty much. That’s why you have a clue-by-four handy.
YetAnotherJay formerly (Jay S)
@Amir Khalid: I was under the impression that many had neither.
Ruckus
@Villago Delenda Est:
He was a bachelor at Wharton. They gave him the degree so he’d leave and they could be rid of him.
Mary Ellen Sandahl
@Omnes OmnibusDefamation of character?
Amir Khalid
@Mary Ellen Sandahl:
It’s not defamatory to call an asshole an asshole.
Mike J
@Amir Khalid: Definition of character.
John Cole
@Roger Moore: the fuck I don’t. I have a mortgage for all the money I poured into the house.
rekoob
@captnkurt:
As a rower and dog lover, I’m very sorry to hear about Django. I hope you can take some solace in knowing that you were both actively engaged in doing what you loved. The photos were adorable, and while he’s gone too soon, a great life.
No Drought No More
“You go to war with the army you have, not the army you might want or wish to have at a later time.”
The great weasel Donald Rumsfeld said that, of course, in casting unjust shade on the Clinton administration when the 2003 plot to war began to unravel for all to see.
No doubt because Rumsfeld purports to be a disciple of Winston Churchill, I was struck by its similarity to another quote I read today, one made by General Kitchner and cited by Churchill in the second volume of his WW1 memoirs*.
Quoting Kitchner per the report, Churchill noted it read: “There is”, he said, “a great deal of truth in what Mr. Churchill has said, but unfortunately we have to make war as we must and not as we should like to”.
It’s likely Rumsfeld is familiar with that quote, too. Naturally (very naturally), he twisted it’s meaning in the telling. Still, it did occur to him, and I suspect in frustration, because events at that point restrained him from enlarging the War in Iraq to include a war upon Iran. Even before the great unraveling began, Rumsfeld wanted to wage his war in the middle east as it was indisputably within the power of a nuclear armed United States to wage. At the very least, does any American seriously doubt the topic wasn’t broached, albeit ultimately rejected?
Lest We Forget: The bad actors of the Bush-Cheney administration remain unrepentant in 2018 of their great crime. Indeed, they remain proud of it.
In effect, they’ve challenged the democratic party to call them out on it for the past 15 years. Suffice to note, the democratic party has by and large observed radio silence on the matter.
Lest we forget, either, the very same scum that sought an enlarged war in Iran a decade ago still thirst for it today. And Donald Trump, while certainly not their beau ideal of a president, is nonetheless is OK with them, too.
By my lights, the nomination of Gina Haspel to head the CIA is the same challenge issued by the same republican scum to the same democratic party. It does not matter that the woman is a bona fide, sick in the head, motherfucking TORTURER. She’s their kind of people, you see, a true blue republican. And her nomination simply represents the latest in a long string of indignities heaped upon timid democrats by the republican party. Obviously, or so I hope, it’s past time democrats across the board picked up that gauntlet, and tossed back into the teeth of the rotten bastards. After all, what else does anyone need to know about them to recognize them for what they are?
*(The World Crisis 1915; pg. 490).
Mary G
@John Cole: How’s Lily? Hoping no news is good news. Does she have chemo tomorrow?
Anne Laurie
I had a pure-black, Siamese-cross cat who would run his whiskers across my eyelashes. *That* will wake you out of the deepest sleep, this side of a coma…
jl
@No Drought No More: IIRC that Rummy quote was reused quite a bit by the GOPers. I think the original comment was just a damned lie by Rummy, since the military had resources to help with the occupation and reconstruction, but Rummy thought they were unneeded sissy crap. Hell, he could go out and get college kids who won an award as great speakers at the greater Omaha Collegiate Model Chamber of Commerce (hypothetical example) who would do better.
Then it got reused by depraved GOPers to justify grinding the troops down into a paste of blood and ground bones with repeated deployments. Hell, according the the GOPer filth, those enlisted chumps in the military signed a contract and the fed could do as they damned please with their lives. They were, for all practical purposes, slaves of the Cheney and Dub’s and Congress’ whim. Like a cheap garden tool you could use and abuse until it broke into pieces, then curse, and throw into the garbage.
Every time I hear that saying of Rummy’s a wave of disgust runs through me.
Villago Delenda Est
@No Drought No More: von Rumsfailed, like the deserting coward and Darth Cheney, should be a moldering corpse twisting slowly, slowly in the wind.
SWMBO
@captnkurt: My heartfelt condolences. So many leave us much too soon.
Suzanne
@captnkurt: Hugs to you and yours. Django was adorable and obviously a very good boy.
Ruckus
Worst cat I slept with belonged to an ex. That cat was actually a pretty good cat with one exception. He liked to sleep on my ankles/feet. As this would seem to be rather uncomfortable I always imagined he did this because I didn’t like it. And also I was the one who had to get up at 3am to let him out for his nightly business. And because this was in snow country I’d have to be there to let him back in as soon as he desired.
Ruckus
@jl:
They would have been drawn and quartered by the public if they had tried to reinstate the draft so using and abusing the troops was their only possibility. Of course if they hadn’t been so cravenly stupid and arrogant they would have listened to the military when told that what they were trying to do was impossible with the number of troops, equipment and time given. But then that’s the republican party and it’s worse today than 15 yrs ago.
Amir Khalid
@jl:
Lily is a sweetheart. She doesn’t menace anybody.
sukabi
@Frankensteinbeck: maybe that’s how he got you to stop snoring…
Amir Khalid
I think Bianca has learned that if she takes a nap lying on my leg, I can’t get up and take a noisy guitar to practice with. She knows I’m not keen on disturbing her. She’s had me pinned down for the past half an hour.
Gin & Tonic
Good morning from Bergen, Norway. Looks like it might be just me and Amir Khalid here, as I finish my coffee and get ready for the drive to Stavanger.
?BillinGlendaleCA
@Gin & Tonic: I’m sort of here, I’m working on a OTR submission. The trip to the Getty Villa was enjoyed by both mother and daughter(I only wish I’d brought the IR camera).
Aleta
@?BillinGlendaleCA: Isn’t Otr a mythical creature in Norway? Could change into an otter or something similar.
Gin & Tonic
@Aleta: Probably spelled Øtr or some weird thing. I can’t figure out all the vowel markings, like what’s the difference between ä and å? Since nearly everyone speaks English it doesn’t matter very much.
Aleta
@Gin & Tonic: The coastline must be incredible there. Is the road you’re taking to Stavanger inland or along the coast?
NotMax
@BillinGlendaleCA
OTR = Old Time Radio.
Tad late for submissions.
;)
NeenerNeener
@captnkurt: This is probably a dead thread now, but my condolences on the loss of Django. He looks just like my my brother’s dog, Caylee, who is part Whippet and part possibly German Shepherd just based on the ears.
SFAW
@captnkurt:
So sorry to hear about the loss your beautiful puppy.
Thanks for the photos. I especially liked the one where you’re rubbing his belly, and he looks like he’s saying “I’ll give you two — no, make that three — hours to stop that.”
WaterGirl
Your photos seem to capture his spirit. They are heartbreakingly wonderful. I am so sorry for your loss.
ET
On the plus side, you got some good pictures.
captnkurt
@WaterGirl: Thanks for your comment (and everyone else who was kind enough to send along their well-wishes). He was A Good Boy.
It was shocking (young, no previous health issues, just took a nap on our bed, never woke up). I found this online this morning, which made me start crying all over again.
Shell
Its Aslan!
***********
P-girl
Hahahahahahahaha