Where does a bull gator walk on a golf course? Anywhere he wants!
OH DEAR: Monster gator caught on camera crossing a golf course right in front of an unsuspecting family of deer. pic.twitter.com/m70sIYFRYV
— CBS News (@CBSNews) May 10, 2018
Stay out of the rough!
Open thread.
satby
Whoa! That’s a big gator. And right near what looks like a busy street too.
Amir Khalid
The deer weren’t unsuspecting, they were watching the alligator. They didn’t panic because he wasn’t coming at them, and they could see there’d be no problem outrunning him if he was.
trollhattan
I would shit a brick right there, and not be the least embarrassed. That’s one honkin’ big gator! (and the li’l fawn must have been a tempting gator snack, but why run when you can let your food come to you?)
danielx
Hmmm…..wonder if they like orange-colored prey.
chopper
not one fuck was given that day.
germy
Patricia Kayden
@danielx: Hmmm. Who exactly do you have in mind?
Malovich
I think he’d rather be swimming.
gbbalto
If you like what Avenatti is doing, pls send $ to Stormy’s crowdfund page. Just sent $200, think it is a most worthwhile investment. Who coulda thunk?
MattF
@Amir Khalid: The intertubes say that alligators can run up to 20 to 30 mph. And can swim significantly faster. I’d endeavor to go in the opposite direction, immediately.
Yarrow
@danielx: Trying to imagine how the Secret Service deal with a gator that size crossing the course when the Orange Traitor is playing. Shoot it? Rush him off the course? Nothing?
Roger Moore
@germy:
This is totally unfair. When you give money to Cohen, you get to send Trump a personal message about exactly what you’re bribing him to do. That’s very different from dumping a ton of cash at a Trump property, which is just a general suck-up measure.
DCrefugee
I have an alligator living in the pond behind my house. I *think* it’s a female, but I haven’t looked closely, if you know what I mean.
Anyway, I call it TM, or Tango Mike, as he/she is two meters long…
schrodingers_cat
Reason # elebenty to steer clear of Florida.
Mary G
You won’t believe how this Florida cop treats a black mother! (In a good way.)
Like children and pets, I believe cops will respond better to praise than to censure, so I make sure to praise them when they do their job like normal people.
MattF
@schrodingers_cat: Comes right after the flying cockroaches (‘palmetto bugs’, so called).
Yutsano
@danielx: @Patricia Kayden: I wonder how much an airlift to Mar-A-Lago would cost…asking for a friend.
rikyrah
I think I watched that video five times last night.
And, it gave me chills every.damn.time.
John Revolta
@schrodingers_cat: South Carolina
Adam L Silverman
@Mary G: There’s three issues here. The first is that you don’t hear or see a whole lot of the majority of cops who get through their days doing the right thing. The second is the way the law enforcement unions and the politicians have wired things, it is almost impossible to get rid of the bad cops that we are rightly hearing and seeing more and more about. The third issue is that the second combines with law enforcement culture to make it difficult for the good cops to actually be proactive to get rid of the bad ones. Including the ones they know are problems just waiting to happen.
Shell
How long do gators live? That guy looks like hes had time to grow…
gbbalto
@MattF: Water bugs, I was told in Texas. They only fly if they think that they are cornered, then they fly at you. Impressive!
efgoldman
@Yarrow:
Rub chickens all over him….?
efgoldman
@schrodingers_cat:
[I might have posted this before; apologies if so]
Last week kids (daughter, SIL, granddaughter) went to Disney.
Plane wasn’t on the ground thirty seconds in Orlando, when granddaughter (almost five, and a very experienced flyer) looked out he window and saaid, to Mommy “Florida is strange!”
trollhattan
@schrodingers_cat:
South Carolina, but the point stands.
Phylllis
@schrodingers_cat: I believe this one’s in Beaufort SC.
ETA: Drat. Not fast enough.
trollhattan
@rikyrah:
The way his skin kind of wobbles reminds me of a Japanese guy in a Godzilla costume. “Godzilla” was a documentary!
Mnemosyne
@Mary G:
I was also pleased that the cops in Oakland who were called about someone using a charcoal grill in a public park showed up, determined that no crime had been committed, and left again.
catclub
I would think this might be the best evidence for a lack of collusion between Trump and the Russians (before the election):
If Trump is already owned by the Russians, why do they need to pay for access via Michael Cohen. Never mind that it IS evidence of present collusion
(after the election).
Yutsano
@efgoldman: Florida is flat. Like amazingly flat. When I was in Miami for the Orange Bowl parade, we were asking directions for a local grocery store from a local.
“Yeah, you just go over that hill over there and take a right.”
We started looking around for this hill.
“Uhh, which way is it?”
“It’s right over there you idiots!”
There was a rise of MAYBE ten feet in the road down the direction he pointed. We just went “okay” and wandered off.
TenguPhule
@efgoldman:
The gator or Trump?
germy
Gin & Tonic
@efgoldman: She’s not wrong.
catclub
@MattF:
15 km/hr is 10 mph – still far faster swimming than olympic humans. 6 minute mile is better than 2 times faster than humans.
danielx
@Patricia Kayden:
I hesitate to say exactly lest I be visited by humorless men in dark suits wearing earpieces. But he probably weighs 300 lbs, meaning IT CANNOT POSSIBLY BE the fat fuck currently squatting in the Oval Office since we have it on best authority that he weighs 239.
Gin & Tonic
The train ride from Oslo to Bergen is spectacular, incidentally.
Mary G
lowtechcyclist
@Yutsano:
Truth. My mother’s family lived in/near Arkansas City, KS, and for all of Kansas’ reputation as tabletop-flat, that part of Kansas has actual hills and stuff. Not anywhere near as flat as Florida. And since my wife’s family lives in central FL, I’ve spent a lot of time in Florida over the past 30 years.
Mary G
Gin & Tonic
@catclub: Top level marathoners run under-5-minute miles. For over 2 hours.
feebog
@TenguPhule:
Why do I now have the image of a porn star rubbing Chicken Mcnuggets all over Trump?
Adam L Silverman
@efgoldman: What kind of loaner shootin arn did your granddaughter pick from the courtesy 2nd Amendment booth at arrivals. Remember, in the Gunshine State everyone must be armed and ready to stand their ground at all times!
Adam L Silverman
@trollhattan: Man in suit!!!
https://i.pinimg.com/originals/28/1d/5f/281d5f6fd06a6d6c6e36dd6863e6b5c7.jpg
Adam L Silverman
@catclub: It’s vig. You have to keep paying or your access gets cut off.
catclub
@Gin & Tonic: but they do not swim that fast. I was referring to human swimming speed. Matt had written that gators can run 30mph and swim even faster. 15 km/h is still very fast.
JCJ
@Gin & Tonic:
A few years ago I made the drive from Oslo to Bergen and back. I did not know beforehand that Norway was so scenic. The entire trip in both directions was stunning. On the way back I drove along fjords and took ferries twice. Are you doing a “Norway in a Nutshell” tour?
schrodingers_cat
@John Revolta: OK then I will cross off South Carolina off of my list too.
Faithful Lurker
Years ago Mr. Lurker and I were driving from Michigan to Florida to visit my parents in Jacksonville. We stopped on the way to visit the Okefenokee swamp park in southern Georgia. It was in the middle of a bad drought and the water was extremely low, so many of the gators had crawled onto the land to sleep in the sun. Many, very large gators, some as big as the one in the video. There was also a tour bus filled with Japanese tourists. The Japanese were happily posing by the gators, resting their hands on the backs of these very large, very dangerous animals while their pictures were taken by friends. The Georgia boys standing around thought this was hilarious.
SFAW
@JCJ:
And now you’re pining for the fjords?
Gin & Tonic
@JCJ: Will be taking a one-day tour on Sunday. This is otherwise independent travel.
By the way, it’s 9:30 pm and the sun’s out.
Adam L Silverman
@catclub: Also, the bigger question is what have the other tough guy wannabe hangers on get? Lewandowski and his two different attempts at a lobbying shop. Parscale? Bossie? Etc.
SFAW
@schrodingers_cat:
If you hadn’t already, then you haven’t been paying attention.
“South Carolina: Too small to be a country, too large to be an asylum”
efgoldman
@Adam L Silverman:
First time we visited my (retired) parents in Pembroke Pines, things that struck me were: The six-eight lane boulevards going every which way, all parallel; the housing developments where they went from clearing the scrub to paved roads and an open model home in less than a week; and the huge gun and knife show billboards along the road out of FLL.
SFAW
@Yutsano:
That came from watching too many Hugh Grant movies.
ETA: “The Floridian Who Went Up A Speed Bump and Came Down A Hill”
Adam L Silverman
@efgoldman: South Florida, specifically southeastern Florida – Broward County – urban planning makes a lot more sense if you’ve ever spent time in Long Island.
SiubhanDuinne
@efgoldman:
Won’t be long until she’s in a crowded public setting, looks around at all the people, and loudly proclaims “fuckem!”
schrodingers_cat
@efgoldman: Other than Virginia, I have only been to Hotlanta in the south.
SFAW
@SiubhanDuinne:
Win.
Enhanced Voting Techniques
@catclub
Russia is a nation, not a monolith, simply a different group of Russians who want in on the action since Trump priced so affordably.
Adam L Silverman
I have an alibi!
efgoldman
@Adam L Silverman:
I got the clear impression that zoning laws were against the state constitution.
The Dangerman
@danielx:
My first thought as well. Shame on us.
Yutsano
@Adam L Silverman: THAT SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING A GUILTY CONSCIENCE WOULD SAY!!!
efgoldman
@schrodingers_cat:
Since my dad died in 2004, and my mom moved back to Boston a year later (she died in 2011) I’ve never been back and plan to keep it that way.
piratedan
@catclub: how about this as a possibility… the GOP was already working with the Russians to rig their elections to allow them to keep their majorities and make HRC’s presidency an ongoing battle (note the amount of dark money showed up in GOP coffers overall, how the FB campaign ads were marked to the GOP candidates and their causes) and Trump’s nomination and campaign incompetency led to the shenanigans being uncovered?
Mike in NC
Turned on the TV and caught Huckabee Sanders lying to WH Press Corpse about something or other. Wearing a black and white striped outfit suitable for a roadside chain gang in the Deep South. Incredibly inarticulate, too.
Adam L Silverman
@Enhanced Voting Techniques: Vekselberg is very close to Putin. He’s running the Russian investment forum in Moscow this week. Our ambassador is attending.
Yutsano
@schrodingers_cat: When I was in Georgia for my friend’s wedding, we accidentally took a tour of North Georgia. Wow the woods up that way are really stunning. And it’s also how we ended up in Dahlonega.
raven
@efgoldman: Oh darn.
catclub
what they mean is that now they were caught doing it, they regret doing it. No doubt the AT&T legal/lobbying team in DC knew about this a year ago, but only now chose to fire someone over it.
Mnemosyne
@Adam L Silverman:
I once had to call See’s Candies and ask them to send a new box of candy to my mother-in-law because the UPS driver left it on her doorstep and a raccoon stole it and ate it. When she got home, all she found was the ripped-open box with a few sad paper frills inside.
They sent the new box for free because, really, how often is someone going to make up a story like that?
efgoldman
@raven:
Well, I was referring to Florida.
I changed planes in Atlanta once.
However, I’m not real keen on spending money in any of the traitor states.
Fuckem
Adam L Silverman
@efgoldman: They’re more like guidelines…
trollhattan
@Adam L Silverman:
The kid was named Cupcake?
JCJ
@SFAW:
Hmmm. Still breathing, still have a pulse, so apparently not!
Adam L Silverman
@Yutsano: I can honestly say, as well as prove, that I have not been in New Jersey, except in transit via Newark airport, since 2015.
germy
@efgoldman:
I remember watching a recent documentary on the playwright Lorraine Hansberry (Raisin In The Sun) and they showed some of her diary, where she said she relaxed by drinking Canadian Club. It was left unsaid, but I believe I understand why she preferred buying that brand rather than Tennessee or Kentucky whisky.
Adam L Silverman
@Mnemosyne: Wild animals are, by definition, wild.
Adam L Silverman
@trollhattan: The baker’s last name is Donner…//
Mary G
I hope one of youse front-pagers writes about this dick Peter J. Gleason, a lawyer who just wrote a letter to Judge Kimba Woods in the Michael Cohen case about the two women who came to him seeking help with abuse they claimed to have suffered at ex-AG Schneiderman’s hands. He told them there was no use pursuing a case, because no one would believe them, but reached out to some slimewad who put him in touch with Michael Cohen, who he discussed their cases with! Then Twitler tweeted that Schneiderman might fall just like Spitzer and Weiner. LAO, tell me the New York bar isn’t all scum.
trollhattan
@Adam L Silverman:
Sometimes wild animals are crafty about that.
schrodingers_cat
@Adam L Silverman: You are missing the joys of driving on the Garden State Parkway. //
Adam L Silverman
@trollhattan: That’s just good clandestine and covert tradecraft!
Adam L Silverman
@trollhattan: That’s also sad for the owner and the fox pup. The seller needs to be found and hurt!
Adam L Silverman
@Mary G: Judge Woods just smacked him about a bit.
Leto
@Gin & Tonic: When I was still living in the UK, I was able to watch the London Marathon each year on the TV. I think it was three years ago that the men’s elite started out, as the race commentator put it, “rather slow” at a 5:30 mile per minute pace. This included the eventual winner who at the start, was tripped, sort of run over, was behind the main group by about 2 mins, but reeled them all in to win it. Honestly that was a pretty amazing race. But the initial pace was “slow”.
Adam L Silverman
@schrodingers_cat: I’ve driven on both the Garden State Parkway and the NJ Turnpike many times.
germy
@Adam L Silverman: I-80 is the killer. When drivers see the sign, they think it’s the minimum speed limit.
NotMax
Gator ate my niblick!
:)
raven
@efgoldman: Southie, Southie. . . .!
Ruckus
@Yutsano:
I was told one time that the highest hills in FL are overpasses. I believe it. What really amazes me is that the land doesn’t develop chop in a stiff breeze or that digging a hole for a small plant doesn’t always strike water.
germy
schrodingers_cat
@Adam L Silverman: So then you do admit to being in NJ other than in transit to Newark airport.
Yutsano
@Adam L Silverman: Not just any fox: an arctic fox. How that ended up in a pet shop is worth investigating. Poor thing must have had a rough time.
NotMax
@schrodingers_cat
In the interest of national security, he can neither confirm nor deny.
;)
germy
germy
Kay
They must have missed the nonstop coverage of Trump’s 5000 rallies that were centered around hating Mexican immigrants.
Boo-fucking-hoo. Put him with the soybean farmers. They’re bad at voting.
Teddys Person
@Mary G: I bet this officer is thinking – What’s all the fuss? I was just doing my job. You know protecting and serving.
Teddys Person
@germy: Fuck. This. Guy.
raven
@Ruckus:
raven
And coming to you from Boston
Gelfling 545
@Shell: Roamed the earth since the Jurassic was my impression. That thing is enormous!
Adam L Silverman
@schrodingers_cat: Not since 2015 when I flew into Newark for an aikido seminar in Manhattan. Last time I was on either the turnpike or GSP was in 2014.
SFAW
@raven:
Shhh … don’t tell schrodingers_cat — she LOVES Kelly. I’d hate to have her bubble burst.
Fucking racist, xenophobic asshole. The sooner that fuckhead is put out to pasture, in Somalia or maybe the Bekaa, the better off the world will be.
ETA: And, to pre-short-circuit the smartass jackals here: I mean Kelly, not S_C, being put out to pasture.
Peale
@raven: So we need to start giving preference to urban metrosexuals? Only hipsters with tattoos need to apply?
raven
@Peale: Who the fuck is “we”?
sukabi
@germy: giving up satire The Onion has decided to report straight news.
satby
@sukabi: And they’ll perform journalism much more competently than the MSM jokers who do it now.
SFAW
@satby:
That’s not exactly a high bar to get over.
schrodingers_cat
@SFAW: Kelly was seen as the voice of reason by many when the Orange One’s reign was still new, but never by me.
I know you are snarking, but I just want the record to be 100% clear.
sukabi
@satby: they could continue on making shit up and still be more accurate and informative than the WH press corpse.
Another Scott
@germy: I heard someone on the radio in Atlanta (might have been some baseball “color” guy) say once, in the early ’70s, “If you go the speed limit on I-75 you’ll be the last one home.”
YouTube (8:57) – it looks like the video is sped up, but that’s actual speed!!11 Maybe.
;-)
Cheers,
Scott.
Kathleen
@raven: Did NPR host push back onat anything?
Alain the site fixer
@Gin & Tonic: pictures, or you have to do it again!
dww44
@schrodingers_cat: Someone else may have responded to this, but that gator isn’t in Florida, it’s in the South Carolina low country. Another giveaway is that video came from a Beaufort, SC TV station. Nevertheless he’s a big one. Wonder how old?
SFAW
@schrodingers_cat:
Yes, I know. I have to confess that, very early on, I thought you were maybe going a little bit overboard (no, I’m not being ironic or whatever) in your Kelly hate. But, for a long time now, it has been clear that you were/are absolutely 100 percent correct in your assessment of that motherfucker.
dww44
@lowtechcyclist: There are parts of North Central Florida (around Gainesville) that are very much of the lovely rolling hills sort of terrain. Taking I-75 from the neighboring state to the North and going straight down there is a lot of not-flat terrain. South Florida is very definitely flat.
SFAW
@Another Scott:
No, it’s not actual speed, unless the actual speed is north of a buck.
ETA: And if a car’s four-way flashers are operating at about 4 or 5 hertz
schrodingers_cat
@SFAW: My assessment was based on his actions, his karmas, as the DHS secretary.
He put in place the current deportation machine.
Barbara
@Mary G: He disclosed confidential client information outside of a protected attorney client relationship. I will definitely read whatever memo he files.
J R in WV
@germy:
I am having a revelation !! Crown is also good. I must admit, though, when mu rockhound buddy and I stopped at Buffalo Trace distillery, it was afternoon of a holiday, maybe Memorial Day, and the last tour of the day was ending. But the black guy taking folks around was fine with spending a couple of hours with two guys in the aging warehouse telling us all about making whiskey.
I’m not sure, is Kentucky really … stop! Yes it is! Now I don’t know what to do…