Sorry about the bluntness of the headline, but I didn’t want to beat around the bush with what is ultimately just horrible and heartbreaking news. I just went up and visited Lily and spent a half hour in a consult with the Doctor (again, I can not say enough wonderful things about the doctors at the PVSEC– they’re really professionals), and she is just not doing very well at all and it does not look like there are any good options.
I’ve been crying for three hours and I had to stop four times on the ride home to pull over, so I will try to be as thorough as I can to explain what is going on. Yesterday afternoon after I left, she was given a blood transusion because her platelet count was virtually non-existent and rbc count was around 13. She is not being sedated, and this morning her RBC had rebounded to about 25, but her platelet count has not increased at all (and would not for some time were she to recover- it takes weeks for that). She had an ultrasound this morning, and none of the news is good.
Her liver is enlargened to twice to three times the size of a normal liver and is extending past her rib cage, and the surface looks abnormal. Her stomach and GI are thickened and also abnormal. She also has fluid in her chest/stomach cavity.
The doctor believes that she has cancer, but she can not actually make an absolute determination, because Lily’s platelet count is so low that if they so much as test the liver, she could bleed out. Even if they could make the determination that it is cancer, she is so weak that treatment is not really practical or feasible. The only real thing we could do is to try to extract some of the fluid and see if we could make a determination from that sample.
Unfortunately, the fluid is blood. Basically, there isn’t much that can be done for her, and the only real option is euthanasia. There are other options- we could have a CT scan, but then all that would show up is a non-operable tumor, because since her platelet counts are so low she would bleed out. Likewise, they could do a surgical procedure to investigate and determine the cause, but that might kill her, and even if they found the cause, they could not do much to help her.
It’s just shit all the way around. I asked the doctor what she would do were it her dog, and she said that surgery is out of the question, and she would be hard pressed to do the CT scan because if she found anything, she probably would not wake the dog up from the anesthesia because there is nothing that can be done.
Basically, I know what has to happen, the doctor knows what needs to happen, I was just not emotionally prepared to make the call today. Bringing her home and enjoying a few more days really is not an option either, because her platelet count is so low she is already at great risk of decompensate rather quickly, which is basically a sanitized way of stating she could just suddenly hemorrhage and exsanguinate, which is something I am not willing to risk nor something I would ever put her through.
When I went to visit her, she was not sedated, and barely even registered that I was there. She feels as if she has lost weight since yesterday, and barely has the strength to hold her head up. I held her for fifteen minutes and told her I loved her and cried, and then left before I decompensated in front of everyone.
I spoke with the doctor on the ride home, and they are going to keep her overnight because I can not risk taking her home tonight and having something happen to her leading to a painful and awful demise, and barring a miraculous recovery, I am going to pick her up tomorrow, spend a few hours with her and then go to my friend and vet Harry’s and put her to sleep. I’m devastated and sick to my stomach, but I know it is the right thing to do. I’m so sorry for all of you who love her like your own, but it just doesn’t look like there is anything that can be done.
I’m just crushed. She was doing the play boy and prancing around just last week, and this is all so sudden (which the doctor said happens all the time).
I doubt I will never love anything as much as I love Lily and I just don’t have words to describe how broken I am right now.
West of the Cascades
My heart is breaking for you, John Cole. Words can’t express the love you’ve shared with Lily (and in turn with us) all these years.
Frankensteinbeck
I’m so sorry, John.
And this is why I’m especially sorry, because it might be true. You love all your dogs and cats. You’re a pet loving person. But watching you over the years, Lily is special. More than Tunch, and that’s saying something. Lily has been a source of constant joy to you, and even a non dog person like me has been moved by it.
Mike in DC
Aw, geez. Lost my newfie to lymphoma 7 years ago. It’s a gut punch. My deepest condolences.
JPL
Hugs! Now I’m going to wipe my tears. That happened to my first golden, and I still miss her.
the Conster
OMG OMG OMG. [rends garments] I’ll never forget the day you found each other!!! I’m SO SO sorry John. HEART’S BREAKING NOW
satby
Horrible news John. So, so sorry. But, you’re doing the most loving thing you can for her, and gave her nine blissful years. Try to remember how bad off she was and what you saved her from, and take what comfort you can.
It’s just shattering.
eclare
I’m so sorry, please know that we are sending virtual hugs, and that we understand.
japa21
Damn, I was hoping for different news, as were you. So many of us have been through similar situations and we know there is nothing that can be said to ease the pain you must be feeling. Just know that we are here for you like you have been there for so many.
Pogonip
I’m sorry, Cole.
WestTexan70
I know it’s horrible, but know that you are doing the right thing for her. I’ve been through it, and it’s the worst feeling in the world, but it is the most loving thing you can do. I’m so sorry.
different-church-lady
((((cole))))
It’s the heartbreaking part of our relationship with our furry friends that we’re extremely likely to outlive them. But somehow the knowledge doesn’t make it even one bit easier.
EmbraceYourInnerCrone
I’m so sorry. I wish the news had been better. I wish we could do something to help you. Hugs if you want them
mad citizen
So sorry for you, sending you and Lily all the strength in the world.
Josie
Oh, John, I am crying as I type. There are no words, except that I know how this feels, and I am so sorry you are having to go through it. Just keep remembering all the good things you did for her and that she did for you.
Rob Pinelli
I’m so sorry John. Nothing else to say… it’s awful and I’m sure all of your readers will grieve along with you. She is an amazing dog.
R-Jud
Oh John, I am so, so sorry.
Chat Noir
Oh John, I am so, so sorry. My heart breaks for you and Lily. I went through an illness with my cat, Natalie, exactly four years ago at this time (it was 4 years ago yesterday that she was euthanized). It’s never easy to let a beloved pet go. Please know there are lots of us out there who understand what you and Lily are experiencing now.
Gin & Tonic
I am very sorry for what you’re going through and will have to go through.
Coffee at dawn ☕
Oh dear John, I am so very, very sorry. All of us grieve with you.
Tim C.
You are kind and good, and this hurts. It will hurt a long time. You have done right by her.
Yutsano
*hug*
TenguPhule
I’m so sorry, John.
zhena gogolia
We are so sorry. Your love for Lily is a beautiful thing. You gave her heaven on earth for nine years. This is the heartbreak of letting animals into our lives, but we have to endure it. My husband and I send our deepest sympathy. We love Lily.
trollhattan
Oh no, I’m heartsick at this news. Please hug her for me and everyone else here and know we’re feeling a bit of what you’re going through.
Jane2
I’m so sorry….wishing you and Lily a peaceful passage.
Heidi Mom
I’m so, so sorry to hear this, John. And I believe that you’re doing the right, brave, loving thing.
Spanky
Fuck.
I’ve been there 3 times in the past 17 months with my cats. There’s nothing to do but your duty to your girl. I wish the best and easiest for you all.
ninja3000
I’m crying for you too, John. Hang in there.
ixnay
Well, damn. Mr. ixnay and I are holding all of you in our hearts.
charluckles
This blog makes me cry. Very sorry. I think our dogs sometimes hide how they feel and give everything they can to keep us happy. Amazingly selfless creatures, our species doesn’t deserve them.
RoonieRoo
I am so very sorry John. Grumpy and I send our love to you and sweet Lily. You have always been there when we have lost our furbabies and helped ease our hurt so much by helping us share with the BJ community. You are a good and wonderful man.
Chat Noir
@different-church-lady:
I was thinking about this yesterday. I came to the conclusion that the pain of losing them, as bad as it is, is absolutely worth the happiness and love that they bring into our lives.
TenguPhule
Lily dies, Dick Cheney still lives well.
Gods I hate this darkest timeline.
Bard the Grim
You’re doing, and you’ve always done, the best you could for her. Hopefully, knowing that gives you a little bit of comfort right now.
Brachiator
This is very sad news. I can only hope that you take care of yourself, do the best you can for yourself and sweet Lily, and surround yourself with those who care about you.
Take care, John Cole.
scav
Ah Lily.
So sorry John and also all the clan.
wmd
Be good to yourself. Get support from those close to you. Grieve with them.
You are doing everything right. And it sucks.
Gelfling 545
I am so, so sorry. It is devastating to lose a dear one. I think it is even harder with our pets because they are so innocent, give us so much and ask so little. Blessings on you both.
Stardus614
Lily has known nothing but love since you found each other. That’s as good as life gets, and you gave it to her. Your heartbreak is proof of that. Hugs and tears to you both.
CarolDuhart2
My heart breaks for you. You loved Lily a lot and you shared that love with everyone,
Jackals, keep giving. When I had to put Kirby to sleep it took 7 months of payments for his final expenses. We can at least make sure that Cole doesn’t have to do this.
Eljai
I’m crying with you. I’m thankful you have a vet and friend in Harry to support you during this heartbreaking time. Lily is a beautiful creature and she is the very essence of love. Truly a gift.
skyweaver
John – I rarely post here unless it’s a pet thread. But I come here every day and know how much you love Lily. I am so very sad for you, she is a special girl, and my heart goes out to you. .
Crashman
I’m so sorry, John. It’s been a joy reading about you and Lily over the years.
Magda in Black
I am so sorry, John.
RobertDSC-iPhone 6
Sweet Lily Dog. Love her to pieces. I’m so sorry, John.
Joy in FL
I am so sorry. I am just so sorry. I wish we could switch to a different timeline where no animal ever gets sick. I am just so sorry.
Aleta
I’m very sorry John.
dmsilev
Oh no. So very sorry to hear that.
For whatever little help it may be, know that we’re here for you.
narya
I’m so sorry. I’ll hold you and Lily in my heart.
gvg
Oh I am so sorry. I am usually an optimist and I had been assuming the reassurances everyone gave were going to be true. I really didn’t think the news would be bad. I am so sorry for you.
BluegirlFromWyo
I was afraid of this and hoping against hope that this time was different. We had the same thing happen to our girl Mimi. I know what you’re going through – that want to take her home and give her that comfort and knowing you can’t. My heart goes out to you.
Leigh
My heart is shattered! Not Lily! I’m so deeply sorry John Cole.
a thousand flouncing lurkers (was fidelio)
I’m so sorry, John. You saved her, and she more than returned that over the years.
it’s true that the only way out is through, but god, does that suck sometimes.
JMG
I am so very sorry for you both. My deepest sympathy.
Elizabelle
Every day that Lily lived with you was a good day for her. Absolutely a “who rescued who?” scenario.
While this was sudden, that’s kind of a final gift, too. You didn’t have months of anxiety; she was good until she wasn’t.
I’m so sorry; always knew this day and tomorrow would be extremely painful for you (and club Lily here), but the point is: she had a great damn life with you.
Again, so sorry. No loss like the loss of a beloved pet. As you know only too well.
Chip Daniels
So, so very sorry and heartbroken.
Your posts about Lily were one of the things that endeared this blog to me.
Lily has brought much joy to all of us here, and we share in your loss.
khead
Aw man. Very sorry to hear the news. I have no idea how you managed to write that much.
CaseyL
This is a gut punch. As someone privileged to follow your story with her from the time you went to the shelter expecting to adopt a feline housemate for Tunch and came home with Lily instead, and watched how you fell head over heels in love with her, to the point where, when ABC asked if you were happy to be staying over at her house, your answer was how much you missed Lily (!), my heart is breaking for you both.
You know you’re doing the right thing, we all know you’re doing the right thing, but it still hurts worse than a broken bone and I am so so sorry.
Yarrow
Oh, John. I am so, so, so sorry. Such devastating news. We know how much you love Lily. You are doing the last best loving thing you can for her, even as it breaks your heart. Sending all gentle thoughts your way. We are holding you both in love.
Geeno
This blows. I’m so sorry, John.
I typed a bunch more, but it didn’t seem adequate so I’ll just leave it there..
lol chikinburd
I’m terribly sorry. Damn.
Washburn
Damn
Sorry, Man
zhena gogolia
@CaseyL:
Oh, yes, that answer to ABC, that was precious.
Sarah in Kingston
John, I’m heartbroken for you. There’s nothing else to say.
Anne Laurie
I’m so sorry, John.
Part of why Lily looks so suddenly miserable & reduced is that she’s in this strange horrible-smelling place full of metal & fear-scent, and she has no idea what she did to deserve it. She’ll be much happier tomorrow when you take her back home (even if she still feels horrible). And she’ll die in the arms of the person she loves best in the world, comforted by the thought that she’s still your Forever Best Girl.
And now I’m remembering the sad little ‘stinking of cat pee’ scrap you introduced us to, nine years ago.
I’ve always believed that when my soul is eventually weighed in the balance, the strongest arguments in my defense will come from the dogs & cats I’ve rescued and helped re-home. Since you’re a nicer person than I am, you won’t need nearly as much of a cheering section… and as long as you don’t go on any baby-murdering sprees, Lily by her own precious self should be more than enough to ensure that your reward will be golden!
Chat Noir
@TenguPhule: This is the exact reason I became an atheist (from agnostic) four years ago. My two beautiful feline angels are gone but Dick Cheney is still alive.
something fabulous
Oh no, oh no. That sweet baby girl. You are undoubtedly doing the right thing, and yet, still so very heartbreaking. So very very sorry– will continue to hold all good thoughts for you and yours.
lurker dean
I’m so sorry. :o(
karensky
She is such a sweetie. I am so sorry for her and for you.
DRW
Aw, that news is about as bad as it gets. I’m so very, very sorry. Lily is such a lovely pup, and she reminds me a great deal of my Hazel-dog, who is 15 this month. I know I’m not going to have sweet Hazel with me too much longer, and that is breaking my heart already.
bluefish
I’m so very very sorry. You will do what needs to be done and, as Spanky above says, you will do your duty by your beloved. It’s so hard to say goodbye but Lily will feel all your love right there with her, until the end, just as it always was between you. You’ll carry the load for the two of you. Love is such a risk, always. I’m heartbroken for you and for dear Lily. Damn damn damn damn damn, There is no way to bypass pain — one has no choice but to travel through it.
Juju
I’m so sorry the news is the worst it could be. She’s a wonderful best buddy in the world.
When we discovered that Isabel, my very special dog , had liver cancer, the vets at the vet school would not let us take her home or back to our vet. It was too dangerous for all the reasons you mentioned. They had a nice private room where we spent as much time as we wanted with her. A student vet stayed with us and then Isabel/Bizzy was put down when we were ready. Please have someone drive with you, it might make things a bit easier and safer. Give Lily a gentle hug and kiss for me. I’m so sorry. Remember Lily has had a wonderful life. She spent the best part with you. I’m not proofreading. I can’t see clearly right now.
Tyrion
Sending all my strength to you and Lily at this difficult time.
oatler.
Condolences and thoughts from windy AZ.
MazeDancer
Oh, no, oh no, oh no.
Heart breaking for you. Ending her suffering is the last, best gift you can give her. Impossibly hard. But it is helping her and that is all you can do.
Sending you and Lily so.much Light. Just because we all know exactly how this feels, doesn’t change how dreadful it is. So sorry, John, so very, very sorry.
(You might ask them about a Cerenia shot before the ride bach home. It stops nausea, prevents vomiting, and makes pets feel good. So does CBD Hemp Oil, if they have some, many vets do)
waspuppet
Aw geez I’m sorry. You’ve given this good dog a wonderful life though. I know you’re not thinking about that now but I hope someday you can.
? ?? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ? ?
Oh, God I’m so sorry to hear this John. You’re absolutely doing the right thing by not putting Lily through all of that. I hope that she and you ultimately find peace. Always remember the good times you both shared and never forget that you gave her a wonderful life.
Betty Cracker
Fuck! There just aren’t words to express how much this sucks! Poor sweet Lily — I’m bawling my head off for her. I never met her in person, but in photos and descriptions from someone who loves her very much, her gentleness and goodness shine through. Damn it all, John, I am so awfully sorry. I know how absolutely gutted you must be. Please try to find some comfort in the fact that you’ve given Lily the best life and the best care anyone possibly could have. Nine years ago (that hardly seems possible — I just know it has been that length of time because you posted it yesterday), you found that sweet girl in a shelter, and you rescued each other. You love her, and she loves you. Just try to hold on to that.
Trinity
The deepest deepest sympathy John. There are barely words. I keep you in my thoughts. I am so sorry.
O. Felix Culpa
Damn. I had hoped for better, for Lily and for you. We share your love for her and your grief. Sending thoughts of love and comfort to you both.
Bo Alawine
John,
Our pets are our children … they just have two extra legs and more hair.
I feel your loss.
v/r
Bo
debit
John, I’m so sorry.
Baud
I’m very sorry, John.
jwmorgan59
John, I’ve been reading the blog for years but never commented. I just unlurked to say how sorry I am for your impending loss. Just about a year ago we had to put down the second best cat that ever lived with us, and I miss him every day. Hold her tight and say goodbye, and then give your other furry companions extra loving.
Oh, and fuck cancer.
Jim Kelly
So very sorry, John.
Joeg
I’m so very sorry. Love for a pet can reach incomparable levels – which your beautiful writings captures and accounts for everyday. We love you John.
Dissatisfied Customer
My heart is breaking.
I’m so sorry, John.
orchid moon
John, I am so sorry, and I am crying too. Sending thoughts to both of you.
peej01
I’m so sorry, John. I’m sitting here crying for the both of you.
speedbumped
John, I’m sorry to read this. I hope your final hours with Lily are full of the love you’ve shared since she landed in your life.
No One of Consequence
Sad news indeed. I am sorry for you John.
As one who has lost dear beloved furry ones before, where I had to make the call:
Don’t let Lily suffer. She can’t tell you, and can’t do it herself.
One thing I had always wished I would have done for my dog, my one in a million dog: Bought her a nice little cut of good steak before she went to sleep. A nice little send-off smackeral. Consider it, if she would eat a small piece.
I am so sorry for you. My screen is getting hard to see…
Peace,
– NOoC
Michael Demmons
I know how you feel, John. I went through this last summer. No illness. Just very old. It was horrible. You’re making the right decision not to put it off. I waited 4 days so I could say goodbye. It was the most excruciating, stressful time of our lives and I wish I had the time back to do it over.
I’m in the same boat. I’ll still never love another pet (or probably a human) like I loved my dog, and I know I will never have another one because of that.
Take care.
kdaug
Fuck.
hedgehog mobile
Weeping with you…oh John. So very sprry.
Mrs. D. Ranged in AZ
I’m so very sorry. I’ve been through this as well and I know how hard it is.
Bex
“You will lose someone you can’t live without, and your heart will be badly broken, and the bad news is that you never completely get over the loss of your beloved. But this is also good news. They live forever in your broken heart that doesn’t heal back up. And you come through. It’s like have a broken leg that never heals perfectly–that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp.” –Anne Lamott
Tazj
I”m so sorry.
SuzieC
This is so heartbreaking. We love our furry friends so much and we are doomed to have to say goodbye to them.
Noskilz
Sorry to hear that the situation won’t have a happier ending.
RenoRick
John, I am so sorry to hear this. Your love for your animals is so inspiring! I lost my Top Cat 2 years ago and not a day goes by that I don’t think about him. My condolences on the impending loss of a dear pet.
Cowgirl in the Sandi
John – I am so, so sorry to hear your news about Lily. How very sad. I will keep you both in my thoughts and hope eventually you’ll be able to remember the good times with her and smile. Take care of yourself.
sukabi
So sorry John. Thinking of you, Lily & your other furries.
Phylllis
Wrapping you and dear Lily in loving arms from afar. It just sucks, and that’s about all there is to say. Be gentle with yourself.
Dorothy A. Winsor (formerly Iowa Old Lady)
I am so sorry, John. We all know how much you love Lily. Peace to you and her.
The Lodger
I’m so sorry, John.
eric
John, you are a good man in the most profound sense. I am so sorry for you and Lily. Words fail me. So sorry.
Madeleine
I’m sitting here at work trying not to cry because I know exactly what you’re going through. Rather than rehash my old wounds, I’ll just give you some words that helped me. Lily had the best possible life with you. She loved you without reservation and knew that you did the same for her. You are doing the right thing, the only thing you can do for her. It hurts like nothing else in the world and you can’t see the end right now, but it is there. Hug Rosie and Thurston, and tell Steve he’s the best kitty in the world and give him lots of chin scritches.
Soprano2
I’m so sorry, John. It’s a hard thing to have to go through. I’ve had to have a couple of extremely sick cats euthanized, and it was hard, but the right thing to do because there was nothing else to be done for them. I know it’s not much comfort, but you are doing the best you can for her, and she knows how much you love her. We’ve lost two dogs to heart and blood vessel cancer – they’re standing up or sitting there, and then suddenly they fall over and die. It’s unpredictable and has no symptoms until death, so it’s a pretty devastating way to lose a pet. In that way it’s similar to what you’re going through, except that we didn’t have to make a decision.
I’ll be holding you, Lily, and all the other fur babies in my heart and thoughts. Please take care of yourself.
Robyn
I am so very sorry, John. You have given her such a wonderful life. I don’t think I’ve missed a single Lily post since the day you first introduced us to her when you were considering adopting. She has always been a highlight of this blog and I’m thankful that you shared this very good girl with us.
celticdragonchick
My God I am so sorry.
K488
I’m so sorry, John. The cats, K466 and I send our love.
NickM
John – I’m so sorry. Today I went to a memorial for one of the finest men I’ve ever known, a brilliant and kind cancer surgeon and researcher who himself died of cancer at 45. Life can be so unfair. All we can do is love one another and our animal friends with everything we’ve got and enjoy each and every day we get to share. That, and be compassionate towards others trying to enjoy the same simple pleasures. Sincere healing thoughts to you and the BJ family.
MAC
Lurker here, but you have my condolences, too.
Teddys Person
This is terribly sad news. I’m so sorry the day that all pet owners dread has arrived for you. Teddy and I will be thinking of you and Lily tomorrow.
middlelee
I am so sorry and am crying with you. Sending you and Lily love.
Sab
John,
I am so sorry. I lost my Lily in December. Cancer that came on really fast, and at the end in trying to save her we spent a week tormenting her.
We only had only our Lily for a couple of years, although we had known her for years before. We got her as sort of a rescue from a series of kids whose lives were so unsettled that they never should have tried to have dogs. (On the other hand, without these kids she would have long since been euthanized.) So she got shifted to one loving household after another every year or so for her whole life. She finally got some stability with us, and two years later she died of cancer. She was eight, and we were her fifth family.
Your Lily has had nine years in a household that adores her. It’s horrible from your perspective, but from hers she has had a long, mostly safe and happy life.
Still so sad to lose such a sweetheart.
Bg
So sorry, John. You are doing the right thing. What a sweet, loving dog.
rikyrah
I’m so sorry, Cole. So sorry. I’m crying with you here at my desk. You have loved her so much, and she knows it. She knows it.
beabea
OMG John, I’m so sorry. Over these nine years, your love for Lily came through in every word you wrote about her, so I can’t even imagine what you’re going through right now. Yesterday I re-read the post about how you adopted her after seeing her through the glass door at kitty prison, and how scared she was and took a long time to stop shaking. You gave her such a good life and did everything possible for her, and a lot more. I hope knowing that this community you’ve built loves Lily, cries with you, and holds you in our thoughts, gives you a little bit of comfort.
J.
I have loved reading about Lily and the rest of your brood and have tears in my eyes as I type this. I wish there was something we could do for you, John. You’ve given all of us so much. Very sad to read about Lily. My heart breaks for you. I hope just seeing how many people care about you and Lily helps a little bit.
Barbara
I am so sorry. I still cry thinking about my first own and most beloved dog, who died in my arms, and that was more than 25 years ago. It hurts so much, and I hope you know how many of us have been where you are and are keeping you and poor Lily in our thoughts.
Tee
John, words fail at this time, I know that there will always be a Lily shaped hole in your heart and only time will make it ache less. Love, peace and light to you.
Shell
Dear God, there are no words.
Paula
So sorry.
Zoey2020
So sorry, John. Just so, so sorry. But Lily was fine until almost the end, and every moment of those nine years that you had together until she got sick, whose were the miracle hours. My forever love to Lily. And to you, for bringing her to us and now letting her go because it’s the right thing to do.
schrodingers_cat
I am so sorry. {{ }}
Another_Bob
So sorry to hear that, John.
Jeanne who lurks
Delurking to say I am so very sorry for Lily and for how absolutely gutted you are feeling right now. Been reading about Lily on your blog for years and your obvious love and care for her shines through. It is so hard, but you already know you are doing the right thing. Know that even people who just read your blog care for Lily and care for you. Peace and comfort for you all.
Jon Gallagher
John,
You performed a miracle for her already, you gave a golden-hearted dog the paradise she so richly deserved.
I hope your kitchen fills with casseroles and dog and cat treats, and you get exactly the amount of company you need to get through this.
WaterGirl
Sobbing. So very sorry.
'Niques
So terribly sorry, John. I’m crying with you. I wish you strength.
Locagirl
I’m so sorry. Poor sweet Lily and poor sweet you. I hope she can make it thru the night comfortably so you can have some time with her tomorrow. It really sucks that our animals don’t live long enough. They deserve to so much more than a lot of people in this world.
Original Lee
So sorry to hear this, Cole. Really no words except you’re doing the best you can. You have many wonderful memories and that will help later. Letting our furry friends go is the worst part of being a pet owner.
delk
Devastating to hear this. Keeping peaceful thoughts.
AnotherBruce
Im sorry John, Im at work ducking away so I can cry.
Linda M
I am so sorry to read about this bad news. Lily was a lucky pup because you found her and brought her home to have a wonderful life. Take care.
Quaker in a Basement
Your decision is humane and wise. The love of a good dog improves us forever.
Wolvesvalley
I am weeping for you and Lily as I type. I even share your feelings of nausea. I had to go through this with three beloved cats between March 2016 and October 2017. The first was not unexpected (17.5-year-old at the end of a long decline); the second and third were as sudden as Lily’s crisis. All were devastating.
Please stay strong for your other furry family members, John. They will need you and will help you heal.
Planetpundit
Just heartbreaking…….so sorry for you John
Barney
Damn. Lily is one of those ever-bright points in life – never anything but good to hear about. My heart goes out to you, John.
daryljfontaine
I remember when you took her in, John. You gave her the best possible life. It won’t stop the hurting, but it may make the good memories burn a little brighter, to remember that.
D
Olivia
I am so sorry. She is such a sweetheart.
Violet
John, I’m just a lurker here but my heart is breaking for you, especially since I’ve been there. You took Lily from a miserable situation and gave her a wonderful life, and she knew she was loved, from start to finish. That’s all we can ever do.
luzeelu
Oh John, I am so very sorry about this. It’s so hard to let go of our special animal friends. We all know how devoted you have been to Lily and will share your grief.
Humdog
John, I cannot read the thread because I cannot shed more tears today. But PLEASE have someone drive you to pick her up!!!! You can spend your drive giving her all your attention and you won’t risk everyone’s safety by driving distraught and distracted. The rest of your pack needs you safe, as do all of us jackals. I am soooooo sorry. Sweet Lily is good to you even at the end, as she left you no question what is the right thing to do. Now, you somehow have to buck up and do it, falling apart afterward into the loving, smaller, pile of your pack.
errg
Oh no, I am so sorry for you and Lily. Poor sweet girl. I remember when you got her, you have given her a great life…
Paul W.
The poor girl! This is horrifyingly familiar, as my partner and I just went through almost the exact same situation with her cat – some health issues in the past few months and then took him in on Monday to find a similar proliferation of fluids in the wrong places and anemia, just all around bad stuff. We took him home and despite some steroids and other boosters he was struggling to breath. We had to put him down that night, and it all happened to quickly that saying goodbye was surreal until the vet was there to administer the euthanasia.
I think at the end of the day we made the only call we could, and despite the rush he was able to have a steak dinner and take his last nap at home in her apartment. This was also a one of a kind pet who had stood by her for years and literally walked himself into her life by coming in as a stray into her home.
I hope that Lily is able to get some strength back so that she can say goodbye to you and recognize you tomorrow and you have at least that very very small comfort. I will be chipping in next month to help you out, as this blog has been a bulwark to me in both politically and personally trying moments.
Wishing you all of the best sir
blackcatsrule
Thank you for allowing us to love her too. And now we grieve with you. You are doing not just the right thing, but the only thing there is to do.
Jack the Cold Warrior
Condolences and tremendous sympathy…
Ohio Mom
Nothing to add but that I am also so, so very sorry. But you can have no shoulda, coulda, woulda’s, you gave Lily a great life, and now you will give her a peaceful passage. That isn’t much comfort I know, but it is everything.
Cheryl Smith
Gawd….this is as heartbreaking as if she were my own dog. I remember when you found and adopted her! I mostly lurk here but Lily has always been a Balloon Juice bright spot in a fucked up world. My sincerest condoences :(
Scott S.
I am so, so sorry to hear this. Lily is such a good, good lady, and I hoped she’d have many years ahead of her. I think both of you have been lucky to have each other.
Shell
I definitely second that. The last time I was in that awful situation, driving back home I had a couple of near misses . Pulled over to pull myself together and thinking “I really shouldnt be behind the wheel.”
Kassie
Thanks from this longtime reader for sharing your Lily with us all these years. We will miss her. Sending you thoughts of strength. Peace.
Fair Economist
So sorry for you. She has been the best dog for you and you have been the best human for her. I will always remember what an incredible job you did when you adopted her.
maura
oh i’m so sorry for your furbaby. gotta make sure no suffering. you gave her a wonderful life. you are indebted.
bystander
So sorry to read this. Take it a step at a time.
J R in WV
We’re so sorry to hear this.
Hugs from down south!
JanieM
Ah, John, I’m so sorry.
geg6
OMG, John. OMG, I’m so sorry for you and for Lily and for Steve, Rosie and Thurston. She will leave a giant hole in your heart and your family. I will cherish my Lily mug all the more. I’m sending you all my love and kisses from Lovey and Koda. This is heartbreaking.
Burt Hutt
This community that you created is such a wonderful escape from the real jackals out there. I am always touched by the empathy demonstrated by folks here. I had to put down my own dog four years ago and people here were such a great outlet for the sorrow I was experiencing.
I hope you find comfort in the loving memories Lily gave you and not the pain. She and you will be at peace eventually. No question, it sucks. Love cuts both ways. We grieve because we care.
Beezus
“Grief is the price we pay for love.” And we have all had those love-of-our-life pets, and they are priceless and our grief is proportionately steep. Lily would say: “Thank you for giving me a life I loved and sharing my journey with me.”
pnwjmk
Please take care. I was thinking of the balloon-juice folk and of you and Lily in particular today and hoping for good news. I watched my 15 year old cat be put to sleep today, and I keep trying to focus on the decade and a half of good memories instead of the sadness of today. Remember the nine years of love and joy you and Lily had and know that we all think that you are good people.
Marina
if I could think of something wise and comforting, i’d say it. my heart sank when i saw the headline. like everybody else who comes to this site, i’m so sorry.
spudgun
John, John…I am so sorry and crying my eyes out right now (and at work! oof, my colleagues must think I’m nuts).
I’m so sorry…poor Lily. The sweetest pooch.
Please be good to yourself.
VeniceRiley
Oh, gosh. I’m so very sorry. I had hopes.
Ruckus
So sorry John.
There are no good words.
Do what you have to do, that’s what being alive is about, being the best you can, doing the hard things when it’s time.
You have a lot of shoulders to lean on, in real life and in virtual life. Take advantage of that, it’s what they are for.
Sit with the rest of your menagerie, they will need it as much as you do.
Cermet
As with every single Jackal here, as well as lurkers and others, we are all very sorry for the decision that must be made and your impending loss. No one, you, me, or anything gets out of life alive – not that helps; but on the positive side, she had such a good and happy life with you. No one can expect more nor wish for better. So very sorry.
Michael
Oh John, I’m so very sorry and heartbroken. I’m crying at the thought of what you and Lily are going through. I have suffered the same heartbreak many times and it never gets easier. When you feel the time is right please consider adopting another rescue pup to honor her memory.
realbtl
You are a good man John. Hang in there, it will get better.
mai naem mobile
I am so very sorry John. Anybody can tell the way you talk about Lily she’s that one “special” dog in a person’s life that they never forget. I am at a loss for words. Just remember that you’ve given Lily a wonderful life since she’s been with you.
StringOnAStick
I’m so sorry, please know you gave her the best 9 years of her life, and you are doing the kind and loving thing for her now.
Elizabelle
News is sinking in a bit. The finality, and how quickly life can be over. Especially a brilliant little life, like Ms. Lily’s.
I am so sorry. You and she are lucky to have each other, and we are lucky you shared.
Cckids
I’m so sorry, John. You are doing the best thing for her, being with her and holding her as she goes will surround her in your caring and love. And, as impossibly difficult as it is, will, in time , leave you with a grace -knowing you were there for her in every way. Just like she has been for you.
We’re all grieving with you.
EL
I feel for you and for Lily who is a dog for the ages. You knew at first sight and loved her immediately and gave a neglected dog a loving home, and allowed us to peek in. It’s so hard that their lives are so short. I am tearing up remembering my much loved cat Winston.
I wish we could be with you tomorrow – someone else needs to drive
Peter
Sorry, John. There’s no bright side to this, except that she had the best possible life in the days that were allotted to her. And that’s because of you.
Daffodil's Mom
Oh John. Now I know why Mac died, under chillingly similar circumstances.
He’s there. He’ll take care of her.
nicdanger
John,I am so,so sorry to hear this devastating news.I remember when you wrote about visiting the shelter,and how you connected with her at once.I also recall all the posts you wrote where you expressed your love for her>She will be missed by all,and I know you will never,ever forget her.Peace be with both you and Lily.
debit
@Humdog:
Seconding this. And, I’m sure Harry would come to your house to put her to sleep. Walter had in home euthanasia and it was, in my opinion, the best way to say goodbye. It was quiet and peaceful, he wasn’t stressed, and the other animals were able to experience his passing.
Again, I am so sorry.
NeenerNeener
I’m so sorry, John.
wvng
I am so very sorry to hear this, John. You two have been lucky to have each other, and Lilly is fortunate that her best friend is there to do right by her in the end.
AM in NC
Aw John, so, so sorry that you and Lily have to go through this. We are all sending love your way.
Origuy
So sorry, John.
Elizabelle
@Bex: I like that Anne Lamott quote a lot.
Mingobat (f/k/a Karen in GA)
Oh my God. I’m in tears right now. I’m so sorry.
Lily loves you, and she knows you love her. That’s all any dog wants, but so many don’t get. You’ve done right by her. I’m glad she has you.
Elizabelle
@debit: Yeah, thank you for raising that. Totes thinking that Harry coming to the house, and Lily being all settled in back at home, is the best, if Harry’s schedule allows.
Alain the site fixer
John, I’m sitting here crying for you and Lilly in my attorney’s office. Take care of yourself, I’m in cat hospice care myself right now and it’s horrible. You can call anytime after 6 should you want to talk.
Adam L Silverman
Keeping you, Lilly, and the rest of your four foots in our thoughts.
SFAW
John –
I am so sorry to hear this. I wish there were something I could do to get Lily “all better.” My heart goes out to both of you.
SiubhanDuinne
Sitting in the public library, weeping.
???
I’m just gutted for you, John. Lily is so loving and sweet and beautiful. You’re doing her a final kindness, but oh god it’s hard. Sending Lily best love and light for a comfortable transition, and best love and light to you for peace and comfort.
Steeplejack (phone)
Damn.
My prayers are with you, John, and with Lily and the rest of your pack.
Thom Rogers
I’m so sorry for you, John. We’ve gone through this with four of our best friends in the world. We lost our Kara just three months ago. And like Lily, she too was a rescue. We took her into or home and hearts in 2005. The best guess was she was about two years old. So that wonderful beautiful girl lived over 14 years. Pretty good for a Lab. The last two years were spent dealing with her diabetes with insulin twice a day. And the onset of her blindness due to the cataracts caused by the diabetes. When that day came, we went to our wonderful vet who spent two hours with us before the final moments happened. It never, never gets easier. We still have two more at home. But our boy Jake turned 13 last February. So…But with all the heartache and pain when that final moment comes, we will never be without the noblest loving creatures in the world. I wish you peace.
Heidi Mom
@pnwjmk: So very sorry for your loss.
Raoul
I’m so sorry, John. What a terrible moment for you and for Lilly. I hope you can have a few hours of peace and companionship with her tomorrow, as sad as that will be. A loving farewell for as fine a friend as anyone can have.
ruemara
Oh, goddess. I am terribly sorry, John. There’s nothing to be done but minimize her suffering but it’s still devastating. My heart hurts for you both.
Aimai
John I’m so, so, heartbroken for you. You give away so much of yourself to your pets and friends. And they love you so much in return. You gave Lily a winderful life.
ProfDamatu
Oh, I’m so sorry to hear this! :-(
eclare
@pnwjmk: I’m so sorry about your kitty.
chris
My deepest condolences, John.
Tilda Swintons Bald Cap
Really sorry to hear this.
Chris
Oh no John! I am so, so sorry. Just effing heartbreaking. We’re all here for you.
Tom Levenson
Such wretched news. I’m so sad and sorry, John. Lily couldn’t have had a better human, which is no real consolation but is still important to recall.
All good thoughts to you from the semi-frozen north.
Mary
John, when I’ve lost pets, I thought I would just die from the grief. All of us jackals are with you and sending love to you and Lily. We surround both of you with our love. -Mary
rollSound
Thank you for sharing Lily with us, and our hearts break with yours. We never know how long our furred companions will be with us, and doing the last responsible thing for them sucks more than anything else. Strength to you and peace to Lily.
AndyG
I’m heartbroken to hear that, John. It has been wonderful to read your stories about Lily over the years – you really did give her the best life possible when you rescued her. I’m going to o home tonight, hug my two rescue greyhounds and give them extra treats…….
Percysowner
I’m so sorry John. You are doing what is best for her, although that won’t help with your loss. You will be gutted for a long time, but eventually you will heal. She loved you, you loved her, that is all any dog wants. You made her happy beyond her wildest dreams. I wish you peace.
opiejeanne
Ddear John, I am so sorry. Your grief is real and we feel it and share it. She is an awesome doggy and you are doing the right thing.
Ninedragonspot
Terribly sad news. Lily has been the luckiest dog in the world to have you as a friend, John – and vice-versa.
Anotherlurker
I am so sorry, John. As a dog lover, I know exactly how you feel right now.
I know you will do the right thing, for Lilly..
I also know you will be hurting for quite a while.
You are a good soul.
Suffragettecity
Very sorry. It hurts just to read it.
Aurona
A daily lurker who is currently crying for both you and Lily and my deepest condolences. I count my “life chapters” by my pooches; who was there when I went through x or y or z? How much did Gracie/Bailey/Kali/Gambit mean to me while I went through life’s ups and downs, often alone human-wise? Who helped me heal? Thank goodness they love us unconditionally as we will always be there for them and love them unconditionally. A life well lived, Lily. Good girl.
Odie Hugh Manatee
I’m so sorry to hear this, John. Every pet owner fears this day because we all know it is coming and we have no choice but to deal with it. The advice about having someone drive you and Lily is spot on, please do it.
Be strong, John. Remember the good times and hold the memories close while you deal with this. My thoughts are with you and your girl.
maye
She’s definitely a once-in-a-lifetime dog. Sending light and love.
Betty
Deepest condolences. The pain will last a long time for this wonderful lady who gave you so much love. So sorry.
BigHank53
So sorry to hear this.
Currants
Oh John I had so hoped for other news for you and Lily. I have loved your stories of her since your first meeting. I’ll be holding you both in my heart for the coming days.
satby
@pnwjmk: Condolences to you pnwjmk. Today must be a very hard day for you too.
Kristine
I’ve felt that body slam. You hope you’re dealing with one treatable thing, but no.
So, so sorry, John.
Just one more canuck
John I am so sorry to hear this – you and Lily have given each other so much love
Cain
John, I write this with tears in my eyes.
There no words to console what is inxonsolable. We can only mourn with you. Afterwards, after she passes, we will celebrate her life with you.
We are with you.
Darkrose
I’m so sorry, John. No words.
Erin in Flagstaff
I’m so sorry. This is never easy for us pet people.
MisterForkbeard
Oh my God. I’m so, so sorry.
I wish there was more we could do. Just remember that you’ve given her a wonderful time and life, and she loves you very much. She’ll be okay, when she gets where she’s going. She and Tunch will watch over you.
Captain C
Having lost two beloved cats in the last year, I know how hard this is. Lily was very lucky to have a great and caring human like yourself. It’s going to be difficult the next few weeks and months; every so often remind yourself of how good you were to her, and what a great dog she was (and for now, still is).
JaneE
Love is infinite, but some loves are always more intense and special. I am so sorry for your loss.
Morfydd
John, I’m so sorry. I can only echo the advice to get someone to drive you there and back. You and Lily are the best ever and you’ve made each other so happy.
stinger
I’m glad for Lily’s sake that this is happening fairly quickly, after seeming normal as recently as last week. But I’m sorry for you, John, that it is happening at all.
WaterGirl
After sobbing for half an hour, I finally have some words. At this point, it’s about no regrets. Cole, could you and Harry drive up as soon as he gets off work and bring Lily home right away?
Lily doesn’t want to leave you any more than you want her to go, but there are no guarantees about tomorrow. Even if Lily is totally out of it, she will be comforted in your presence, just like my dog who had seizures felt my breath and felt my arms around him during the seizures and would calm down, she will feel your touch and know your breath and take comfort.
You would have the ride home together and Harry could be there if your sweet girl takes a sudden turn.
“There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They are messengers of overwhelming grief, and of unspeakable love.” – Washington Irving
Emma
I am so sorry. The only thing I can say, as so many others have, that you loved her and gave her a good life and she loved you back unreservedly. Be kind to yourself and hug your other loveys.
TAGinMO
So, so sorry John.
SiubhanDuinne
@pnwjmk:
So very sorry. What a sad day.
sharl
Aw jeez, I’m so sorry John. You gave her your all, and while I’m hoping hard for some last minute surprise good news, I hope every last minute you can spend with Lily will be quality time.
HRA
I know there are no words I can offer to ease the pain that is in your heart, John. What I can offer is for you to take notice of the love you have generated in this community and how they are giving you their best words as solace.
I mourn with you for beautiful Lily.
Hope
Adrift
Oh John I am so, so sorry. Lily has been so devoted to you for these years and you have been blessed to have her in your life.
My condolences and love.
raven
It’s the second best thing you’ll ever do for her and you already have done the first for years.
ellie
I am so, so sorry.
Cookie monster
Shattering news. So sorry.
Mike in NC
Terrible news Mr. Cole.
dexwood
Heartbreaking. I feel for you, John. Lily is such a sweet girl, such a gift. We do everything we can for our much loved pets, but, in the end, we do what we must no matter how painful.
“Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.” Roger Caras
Mike R
So sorry, she was lucky to have someone as kind as you to care for her.
Johannes
Oh, John, I’m so very sorry. What a grand life you’ve given her—and she you! I’m so sorry it’s where it is now, but you’ll always love her, and she’ll live in your memories.
sharl
@pnwjmk: ?❤️?
Libraryguy
I’m sure many here would agree that we’re sick of doing the right thing when it hurts so damned much, but we have to, for them.
I’m so sorry for you and your family. The love you share has been shared by all of us.
Debbie(aussie)
Oh John, I am so so sorry! I send virtual hugs to you, to lovely Lily and to all the BJ community. What devastating news {{{{Debs}}}}
jayjaybear
Oh, no! So, so sorry, John. This point in our companions’ lives is never a good one for anyone involved. You and Lily both have the sympathy of this animal companions’ companion, who recently had to make make that same decision for one of mine.
artem1s
Thanks so much for sharing Lily with us and giving her such an interesting family to live with. So sorry. {{{hugs}}}
ceece
so, so sorry John. You gave Lily nine years of heaven, and it still doesn’t feel like enough, I know. hugs to you.
“There will come a day … when the thought of [Lily] brings a smile to your lips before it brings a tear to your eye. It will happen.” J Biden
toschek
John, I’ve been following your site since 2006 at least so I was here when you got Lily, I remember reading your posts in the days leading up to that special girl you met at the shelter who just melted your heart (and ours as well). You inspired me to go rescue a little girl of my own later that year — a decision I’ll never regret — even though she too was taken from me two years ago by a sudden heart attack while taking a nap with me. Another thing I’ll never forget, my literal second best friend in the whole wide world dying in my arms and not being able to do a damn thing about it. I’ve since gotten another baby, and now I’m considering adopting a puppy that I’ve been fostering for a couple of months to giver her a playmate. This baby dog (puppy) is the spitting image of dog #1 that it makes me cry (happy tears) all the time.
Anyway, I wrestle with questions of faith all the time — is there a god?? How about an afterlife?? What’s all this suffering for?? I want so badly for something like an afterlife to exist, just so I can see my dog again and hug her then spend a lazy sunday afternoon reading in bed while she naps on my feet.
Dogs are the best.
Good luck Cole, this shit is hard hard hard but you’ll be OK.
Another Scott
I’m so sorry John. It’s always painful. :-(
Our Sophie was around 11 years old and seemed fine around 10 PM on March 31 last year, but then began acting strangely. We took her to an emergency vet around 2 AM and by 6 AM she was gone. As with Lily, there was nothing that they could do. Sometime our pooches just can’t compensate for whatever is going wrong any more and it happens quickly.
Peace and comfort to you. Remember the good times.
Thanks for sharing her with us.
Best wishes,
Scott.
WereBear
This sucks so much. I’m sorry.
Nicole
I’m so, so sorry. This sucks, and I hate cancer. Sending you much love and sympathy.
Msb
So sad to hear this. But I know you’ll do what’s right for Lily.
Ana
Oh, John, I am a shy person who has lurked here faithfully for so many years, and I remember when you got Lily. It was fate; the two of you were meant for each other, and I am just sick at heart that you have to say goodbye.
BlueNC
This just sucks. I am so, so sorry.
TexasMike
So sorry John. As a lifelong pet owner it’s never easy. She had a great life with you.
Mnemosyne
I’m so sorry. I was hoping it would not be the worst news. Now you have to do what’s best for her, and it’s going to be the hardest thing you’ve ever had to do even though you know it has to be done.
You gave her unconditional love and a good life all the way to the end. That’s all a dog really wants anyway — less bad, more good.
Tata
My heart is breaking for you, JC. You’ve given Lily a wonderful life full of love. It’s such a gift. She’s given you a great deal, too.
You just have to be brave a little while longer. You can do it.
HILFY
Lily and you had nine of the best years any dog and dog lover could have. You’ve taken such wonderful care of her, made her so happy for all that time. And Lily has helped make you a better person: sober, adventurous enough to take on the now lovely house, courageous enough to love new people again.
I don’t have the words to say how sorry I am. Surely the gifts Lily gave you will be with you the rest of your life. We all love you and yours, John Cole.
Adrift
@WaterGirl:
This is the most beautiful thing I have heard in a long time.
Ghost of Joe Lieblings Dog
John – horribly sorry to read this. You don’t know me but from your many posts I know how you love Lily … I’m so very, very sorry.
Shana
Oh John. I’m so sorry to hear this. The hardest decision you make as a pet owner. We had the same decision to make with Lightning a few years ago. Enlarged spleen that could have burst at any time so we decided not to wait until our younger daughter could make it home on the weekend. We did scatter his ashes in the woods behind our house into the creek he loved splashing in when she was home so that helped.
sacrablue
Just got home and saw this news. I’m so very sorry. Just hold on to the love you have for each other and how lucky you both were to find each other. She brought you pure joy for nine years. That is something wonderful to hang onto.
The Moar You Know
John. Oh man. There are no other options and all I can say is just how sorry, from the gut really sorry, that I am.
Mike Stuart
That is just well and truly shitty. Everybody who reads BJ knows how much you love Lily and how great her life was because of you.
tobie
Oh my, I’m so sorry to hear this news. You gave Lily a good life. She knew she was loved. I can’t think of any happier conditions for a dog or for a dog owner. Wishing you peace and strength.
DCrefugee
I’m so sorry, John.
LAO
Christ, John. I am so very sorry.
Manyakitty
Oh, what sad news. Chiming in to support a driver for tomorrow. What else to say? You gave Lily a storybook life full of love, happiness, and safety. She was an absolute treasure.
@pnwjmk: God, what a rough day for you. I’m so sorry.
????
Sending ✌??to all.
PIGL
John, I am so very sorry for this terrible outcome for you and your wonderful dog, Lilly.
rp
I’m so sorry to hear that. But she’s had a great life.
LesGS
I’m so sorry, John. Loving deep; the risk of grieving deep. The two of you were profoundly lucky to have one another and the time you did have.
Genine
Oh, I’m so sorry, John! I remember when you found Lily and how happy you were. She’s added so much to your life. Her spirit will always be in your heart.
ChiGail
You always do the right thing. Hugs from a little old woman.
knittingbull
Oh, damn! I am so sorry, John-you and yours are in our thoughts.
Wallis Lane
John, I’m so very sorry. You gave her all the love that beautiful soul deserved and more, and she had a wonderful life because of you.
beckya57
I’m so sorry, I was afraid this was coming, we have had 3 dogs get cancer and I know the signs. The only thing I can add to what others have already said: Please don’t drink over this. Use your support system.
Bostondreams
Oh John I am so sorry.
MoCA Ace
I am so sorry John. All of us middle aged and older pet owners have been through this several times already so we can and do understand. It’s cruel that we outlive them but wonderful that we can be there for them when they need us most. If there is anything slightly less shitty about this it’s that Lily is spared a long drawn-out illness. You are a truly good human and Lily was lucky to have found you. God bless.
CatHairEverywhere
I read all of the posts every day, but seldom comment. I just wanted to say how terribly sorry I am. I had a similar situation happen with my precious dog Mayzie a little over a year ago. The fast decline and the terrible diagnosis are so shocking and devastating, it was hard to believe it wasn’t some horrible dream. I don’t really have anything else to say except that I am so sorry you’re having to go through this. I remember reading the post when you adopted Lily, and I’m so glad for her that she had so many years of love and wonderful care.
Villago Delenda Est
John, this truly sucks. I can’t imagine what you’re going through on this…you hold the life of a beloved companion in your hands, and there’s just no way out at this point.
Whatever you decide, we’ll support you. It might be best to let Lily join Tunch in that sunny field.
Mnemosyne
Also, other people may already have said this, but this is when you call in some chips from your family and/or friends and have someone else do the driving back home so you can sit with Lily and maximize your time with her.
kimp
So sorry. No words.
alhutch
I’m so sorry to hear this. Lily is such a gentle soul and you have given her a wonderful, post rescue life. My thoughts are with you.
bluehill
This sucks. Sorry, John.
kindness
I’m so sorry John. It’s a tough call. I know when we put our last dog ‘to sleep’, I dreaded it. But we stayed with her while they did it. Comforted her as we could. When the barbituates took hold and she went to sleep, it was really peaceful. I’m glad we were there with her. Cried all the way out of the office and home. Tried to stay strong for her while she was still alive though. Moments together matter.
HeleninEire
So so sorry. I have been staring at the comment box for 5 minutes crying not knowing what to say.
You’re a good man, John Cole. I am devastated for you.
David Hunt
I’m deeply sorry. I’m not the praying type but I hope for your miracle.
Creature_NYC
Crying. Sorry, John. I think when you got Lily is right about when I became a regular reader. As someone above said, thank you for sharing her with us. She was the best and will be missed.
White & Gold Purgatorian
Crap. Hugs to you and all the critters.
KBS
De-lurking to say I am so damn sorry to hear this. I wish there was something to say that would help, but there really isn’t anything at all. Sending good thoughts, for what it’s worth. Thank you for sharing Lily with us through posts and pictures.
Annie
Oh John. I am so so sorry. It’s wretched miserable when one of our furry loved ones has to leave.
p.a.
Fuck
neldob
I am so sorry. You both are in all of our hearts.
Haon123
As I sit here crying for a man I’ve never met about a doggo I’ve never seen, I am struck by the power of love to transform everything for better.
“When you are sorrowful look again into your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.”
-Kahlil Gibran
Gravenstone
I’m so terribly sorry, John. This has been an absolutely shit week, with friends real and virtual suffering crushing loss. As much as this sucks, you’ve done absolutely everything you can for her, starting with rescuing her from her past horrors. Try to be kind to yourself.
Brother Holy Cruise Missile Of Mild Acceptance (Dreggas)
Oh man, I know I haven’t been around in a LONG time but I remember all the posts when you first got her. I am so sorry to hear about this John. Been there done that and it is utter hell.
AnnaN
I am so sorry, I wish I could hug you and Lily and just take away the pain.
jacy
I am so, so sorry. Anything else is just words. Wishing you strength and some measure of comfort.
WaterGirl
@Adrift: That quote is what got me through the loss of my beloved kitty soulmate. The tears were endless and I thought I might never get over it. It gave me great comfort, someone understood the depth of what I felt.
Dave C
John, I’m so sorry. My dog, Heidi, was in a very similar situation last Fall, and it totally devastated me.
Lilly is my favorite part of BJ. I’m just so so sorry.
Johnny Gentle (famous crooner)
John, I’m so sorry to hear that. I remember when you got her. It’s unfair that our beloved little friends have such brief lifespans. All we can do is fill the time we have together with love, happiness and fulfillment, which you’ve certainly done.
MikeInSewickely
I’m so very sorry John. Lily has been such a steadfast member of this blog and your life that it will be difficult to imagine things without her. May she be happy as she crosses that Rainbow Bridge.
father pusbucket
So very sorry, John. I remember what a turning point it was for you when you and Lily found each other.
TinRoofRusted
I am so sorry to hear this – they are family and when it is the once in a lifetime dog (or cat) it is even more painful. My parents had to put down Miss Scarlett 20 years ago. She was a chow mix and my father loved her so much. To this day his eyes will start to ‘water’ when someone mentions her.But as he will tell you the joy she brought to his life and to everyone else’s is worth the leaky eyes on occasion. Stay strong and hold all the wonderful memories close to your heart.
Fraud Guy
This is the hardest, but most definitive decision, of being a good pet owner.
txvoodoo
As a dog owner for life who’s had to do this too many times, my heart goes out to you. I know she’s your heart-dog, and the pain is horrendous.
You can do this. It will hurt but you love her and want to do the right thing for her. And we’ll all be supporting you.
BarbaraG
John – I am so sorry. I think it is harder for us when the illness is sudden – there is no little voice in the back of our heads warning us that time is fleeting. I fell in love with Lily through your pictures, your stories, and your love for her.
ellielou
John: I come here every day as a lurker. I’m delurking today to add my voice and say how sorry I am about Lily. There’s no good time to have to say goodbye to the oldest and dearest of friends like her. Were she 40 years old, you wouldn’t be ready. I will never be ready either. Give her an ear skritch for us and a kiss on the head. A dog that loves you is a blessing in this world.
gbbalto
John, so sorry to hear this. You gave her a great loving life.
AliceBlue
I wish I could think of something comforting to say–but I have no words, only tears for you and Lily.
DonL140
It feels like we are all losing a family member, we’ve known her so long. I remember when you brought her home. I wish you both you both peace, her a good rebirth and you long memories of your best friend.
Namasakan, friends.
Alternative Fax, a hip hop artist from Idaho
My heart’s breaking, and I’m about to cry too for you. Lily and you were both enriched when you found each other, and I can only imagine how awful you feel. I wish I had words of comfort; please know I’m thinking of you.
They leave such big paw prints on our hearts.
Kryptik
I haven’t been commenting around here regularly as of late, but god, condolences, John. I remember the post when you got Lily. I can’t imagine how devastating this has to be. I’m so sorry.
Ash Can
Oh no. So terribly sorry to hear this. May your friends and family rally around you and help you through this awful time.
Deborah Newell Tornello
Oh John, I’m so, so, so sorry.
My heart breaks for you. I love my Ruby so much, I can’t even imagine how I will deal with that day when it comes, and it always does. So I weep for you, and Lilly; though I’ve never met you guys in person, I feel as though I’ve known you forever–certainly since the early days of blogging. And I know how much you adore your dogs and kitty.
Sending all the love. Message me on the Twitters any time if you need a shoulder. XXX DNT
Emperor of Ice Cream
John I don’t comment often (although I read all the time … BJ is one of the only sites where I read the comments and feel like I am part of the community even if I don’t talk much), but I had to add my deepest sympathies. We had to let our boy Looey go in August of 2017, a few months before his 14th birthday. I know you know this, but you should be kind to yourself right now, as it is the hardest thing to let them go, even though you know it is the right thing to do. What helped me (just a little) was the words of my vet as we were making the final call (after 4 years of diabetes and 5 years of EPI, our selfish instinct was to just keep fighting): “You have a chance to give him the gift of a good death … something most of us will never get.” It broke my heart but he was right. One thing I would urge you if at all possible is to have the vet come to your home … that is what we did. We laid down with him and held him as he went to sleep for the last time. He was calm and relaxed with his daddies who loved him. I can’t think of a better way to go. I’m crying again now just remembering it … as I know you will too. It is the way of this life — loss is inevitable. If we are lucky, there is love along the way. Wishing Lilly a painless journey to the next world.
gbbalto
@pnwjmk: My condolences to you as well. Parting is so hard even when you know it’s the right thing to do.
RedDirtGirl
Just adding my tears to the collective torrent. Godspeed, Lily?????.
Ian G.
I’m sorry, John. I don’t know what else to say.
Ruckus
@WaterGirl:
OK now you’ve done it. Perfect.
NobodySpecial
My condolences, Cole. I wish those words didn’t sound so small against your grief.
BettyPageisaBlonde
I’m so very very sorry. Words are mostly empty gestures and phrases at moments like this. All love your way.
cmorenc
From that first wonderful day when you take a puppy or dog home, you also unavoidably take on the other hard end of the bargain – that someday you must see them off on their journey across the rainbow bridge, leaving you behind, and facilitating that journey now is often the more caring, loving thing to do for them than trying to drag out the inevitable, and causing them more miserable discomfort than needs to be.
Our own Italian Greyhound Florence is approaching 16yo, and while she is still very healthy for an elderly dog, we know we will inevitably come to that same point as you with Lily, whether this year, next year, or the next. She’s almost like a third daughter to us.
You have enough dog-love and good karma that after a bit of time post-Lily, you will more likely than not be introducing us to another new dog you’ve taken in, different but just as good in its own way as Lily. Just as Steve followed Tunch, so maybe shall ??? follow Lily..
crshark
John, I wish you peace and love.
PJ
My condolences, John. I know how hard this is.
KG
condolences, it never gets easy
Mercuria
i’m so sorry.
NoVa Commie
Just so sorry. Like everyone else so looked forward every day to hearing more about the connection between you and Lily…soul/spirit food
All my best wishes and sympathies at this heartbreaking time
SFBayAreaGal
Oh John, I am sorry this has happened to your beloved Lily.
Ben Cisco
So sorry Cole. Wish there was something I could say that would ease the pain.
Kayla Rudbek
So sorry to see this news. You took care of her and she took care of you.
Shinobi
I’m so sorry John. You’re doing the right thing, you’ve been an amazing dog parent to Lily, and your love for her is apparent in how you’re handling her care. There are no words that will make your heart not hurt but that is the price we pay for all the joy they bring us. We’ll be thinking of you.
Westyny
Just seeing this. I am so sorry. Such a sweet, sweet girl. I she could talk I bet she would tell you that when you’re ready she would hope you find another dog for your family that you would treat as well as you’ve treated her.
raptusregaliter
Very very sorry John. The worst day I ever had was when I took my elderly cat to the vet for the last time. We scheduled it for a Monday so we could have one last weekend together, but it just wasn’t enough. The next weeks and months are going to be tough, but never forget: you won the lottery when you found her, and she won the lottery when she found you.
ET
I wish there was something, anything, that I could say to make it better but there isn’t. Give her some good scritches when you see her next and tell her you love her.
Ceci n est pas mon nym
So sorry, John.
That, in my experience, is kind of how it goes with both dogs and cats. When they decline, it’s sudden and dramatic. They also seem a lot more accepting of it than we are, if that’s any consolation (though I know nothing really is).
agorabum
Think about all the good times with Lily and how happy you made each other.
Zelma
In tears. I followed your saga with Lily and remember well when you fell in love with her and she fell in love with you. My deepest sympathy.
jl
Very sorry to hear this sad news. Glad that Lily and JG Cole were able to make a happy home for so many years.
Bunter
I am so very sorry. I wish there were more to say and more importantly that any of us could do. You gave her a loving home and that’s all one can ask of person. Take care of yourself.
Duhkaman
Very sorry for your friend and you. I send strongest love and compassion for you and my conviction that Lilly knows your loving-kindness is coming from your heart to hers.
Felony Govt (Formerly Old Broad in California)
I’m so, so sorry. She’s had a wonderful life with you. But that doesn’t make it any easier.
ThresherK
You are doing the proper thing for an animal with little quality of life left.
Our hearts are heavy for the load you are carrying.
Nancy
It only hurts so much because the love was so great…and that is not a bad thing but it is so very hard. You have already made the most difficult decision and you made it for Lily and not for yourself. Much love to you and your babies. I read every day but seldom comment but I had to say my heart breaks for you and Lily.
Brian
So sorry John. We just had to put our girl down (you featured her a while back) and our cat 3 weeks earlier, so I know how you feel and my heart goes out to you.
Haroldo
I am truly sorry, John.
Colleeniem
I’m so so sorry John. I’m a lurker from way back who watched lily come home. And she was home. I’m hurting for you and wish you both peace.
Rhubarb
I keep reading and being terribly sad. So,so very sorry. I remember when sweet Lily came to you. I hate to see her go.
MomSense
I’m so sorry. There really aren’t words adequate for this kind of grieving. She rescued you, Cole. She patiently and lovingly helped you become the wonderful person you are today. I hope that the love and devotion you have given her in return will be of some comfort.
Wanderer
This is sad news. So sorry for you and Lilly.
Mathguy
Condolences. This is the worst part of sharing our lives with dogs and cats. Remember all of the sweet moments.
nanciejane
John, I am so, so sorry.
tomtofa
I’ve been through it, John. I wish that I’d been able to act as nobly as you.
There’s nothing I can say for your pain, except I’m so very sorry.
jill tasker
There are no words. I am so heartbroken for you and Lily. We all grieve her loss with you. Her love for you will always live in you. I am so sorry.
athenaze
My heart breaks for you both. You gave her all the love and care a dog or any creature could ask for.
evap
I’m so sorry John. Know that we are all grieving for you.
Pam
Oh no. That is terrible and heartbreaking news. I know you are making the only decision possible but I know it is hard. Be strong. We are here for you. Even us lurkers
Ksmiami
so sorry about your precious Lily. It’s the hardest thing about our forever dogs- we outlast them with such an ache. hope your final day with her is peaceful and accept my condolences.
Mohagan
I am so so sorry. If it is any comfort, think about the great life you gave her for 9 years. She knew she was your very special beloved girl (as you were her beloved human). I always loved your mention of her sleeping snuggled into your arm. Please be gentle with yourself; this is a devastating loss and grief is hard. Your love for Lily shone through everything you wrote about her. If possible, take comfort in all the love your BJ community feels for you and Lily.
Buckeye
Delurking to say that I am so very very sorry about Lily. Here I am crying over a dog that I knew only from posts.
It’s a cliche but ((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))
Tom Q
I haven’t read all the other posts, but I’m sure they’re all the same as what I’m about to write: anyone who’s had and lost a pet knows exactly how you feel, and it’s simply awful. Nothing we can do can help any, but we nonetheless feel the need to offer sympathy in the vain hope it can make the tiniest difference. All my best thoughts.
Joe
Wow, not what I wanted to read. So very sorry and sad. You had many wonderful years with her – those memories will never die, cherish them.
MomSense
@pnwjmk:
Oh no. Condolences to you on your loss.
Mandarama
John Cole, I’m so sorry for this loss. Sweet Lily…I adopted my dog the same year you adopted her. It’s so sad and unfair that we only get to love them a little while. And yet thank God we get to love them. No creature as good as a good dog. Love to you and yours, and thank you for sharing your precious girl with us.
Lauryn11
I am so very, very sorry. All you can do is treat her in the most loving way you can. Memories will bring comfort in time. I still think of my bulldog Winston and how he would fold his big body into my lap to escape the thunder and on sunny days sit in his lawn chair and peacefully watch the birds and squireels.
Darrin Ziliak (formerly glocksman)
My dog Macey had a stroke and I had to have her euthanized.
I’m not ashamed to admit that I cried like a baby for several days afterwards.
My dog was a family member and not just a pet.
I’m sure that it’s the same with you, and there’s not much I can say other than that if you need to talk/vent/whatever, we are here for you.
My sincere condolences.
Mary G
So grieved to hear this, John. You took her to the best doctors, but she is too sick, and she is tired, and you are giving her a good death. Fuck cancer, if that’s what it was.
I too remember you visiting the kitty prison, considering Shayla, then spotting this little dog looking at you through the glass. She was scared, smelled of pee and had a bad rash, but you loved her at first sight. I was reading those posts again and remembering how you had to get her out from under the desk a couple of times, but she blossomed almost immediately from the scared little thing with her tail between her legs to the prancing, dainty lady who loved to roll in things that smelled awful.
Her eyebrows were furrowed at first, but they have spent nine years relaxed and happy. You are the love of each other’s lives. What a great legacy she leaves to us Juicers who never met her, but loved her from afar. Thanks for letting me share her.
vhh
When the body that lived at your single will,
With its whimper of welcome, is stilled (how still!).
When the spirit that answered your every mood
Is gone—wherever it goes—for good,
You will discover how much you care,
And will give your heart to a dog to tear.
From “The Power of the Dog” by Rudyard Kipling
martian
Oh my god, I’m so sorry.
I wish I could think of something comforting to say. I’m just so fucking sorry. God, this year is shit.
Bobby Thomson
How awful. Sorry for your suffering.
xane
I’m so sorry—Holding you both in the light and sending blessings of love and peace…
Tams
I love you! Lily is a special and lucky girl! We are here for anything and everything you need! Sent with love and many tears! Tams, BP, her best friend Sam, and Charlie…
Virginia
So, so, so much love to you John. Been reading here for so long I remember too when you got her and how she changed and became the dog that loved you so well. Such a sad and trying and tragic time for you.
Many hugs and love to you from San Antonio.
Marcelo Teson
Lily is truly special. Sending love to you, John. I’m so deeply sorry.
SC54HI
Crying now. I am so sorry, John. You are doing the right thing. Love & peace to you and Lily.
SectionH
I am so, SO sorry to see this horrible news. You can know you did everything you could to give her many wonderful years with you, and you’re going to ease her way as much as possible, but when it comes to it, that’s not even a dent in the sorrow. My heart goes out to you John.
chopper
aw john, I’m so fucking sorry.
debbie
This is heartbreaking to read. I’m not a pet owner, but when friends’ pets have passed, I have felt real sorrow, just as I would feel for any other friend. There are no distinctions between people and pets.
takebakawashi
So sorry to hear this terrible news — my condolences.
ljt
Words fail. I am sobbing. {{Love}}
Trilln451
My Geezer passed last July. He didn’t quite make it to his 15th birthday. I don’t know why, but that seemed to be an extra twist of the knife, like 15 was a fair number of years to ask to have my little boy, and i got shortchanged. It happened suddenly. I had been treating him for CHF, but it was his liver in the end. He hung on long enough for my husband to come back from a work trip. He died in my arms the next morning. After I saw your post about Lily, I went to bed and cried for an hour. I’m crying now. I’m just writing to join in saying your pain is shared. I’m so sad for you, and for Lily. It’s a blessing to know a dog’s perfect love. That’s the only reason I can think of for us to sign up for the heartbreak.
lamh36
Oh no. So sorry to hear this news John. I have no words really. I just know how much you love Lily (and your other pet babies) and I can’t even imagine how you are feeling.
Sending love and soothing vibes Lily, you and your other pet babies way!
Rob Eberhardt
I’m so sorry… All my love to you, John, and Lily, you sweet pup.
EricNNY
John,
I had to put two of my pups down last year, one of whom was my own “Lily”. It sucks so hard but you’re doing the right thing by her. The only good advice I ever received during these devastating events was to focus on the good life you gave her. She was loved and that was you.
ItAintEazy
This is heartbreaking, especially considering she came after Tunch.
Maybe this is why I don’t have pets–not sure if I can stand outliving them.
mitzimuffin
I have no words. Just my heart sending you warmth. You are doing the right thing.
Greg
Take heart that Lily had nine great years of love and life after four years of difficulty. I know how difficult this is, we had a similar situation three years ago. I look back with much happiness of the 11 years we had with our Annie. like Lily she was a sweet and compassionate dog. Think about the great times not the end. Give her a hug from all of us.
L Boom
So deeply sorry to hear about this. I can only wish a peaceful passage for Lily and my best for you both.
Edmund dantes
Been a watcher of this blog for a long time. Being the original Edmund Dantes.
Just crushed by this. I feel for you and your family. Lilly will be missed.
JustRuss
So sorry Cole. It seems Lily’s time has come, which sucks, but happens for all of us. I wish it didn’t have to hurt so much.
Bystander
“We who choose to surround ourselves
with lives even more temporary than our
own, live within a fragile circle;
easily and often breached.
Unable to accept its awful gaps,
we would still live no other way.
We cherish memory as the only
certain immortality, never fully
understanding the necessary plan.”
― Irving Townsend
Citizen_X
I’m so sorry. She’s a good girl. The best.
Seanly
John – I am so sorry to hear this. All my thoughts are with you. It’s a terrible bargain that we have to be the ones that need to do what’s right for our beloved pets and end their suffering. You’ve been through this with the loss of Tunch. Even when we know it’s the right decision it is still a devastating decision to make.
Drunkenhausfrau
No words. Heart breaking news. Sharing your tears. Love to you and your sweet Lily.
A Librarian
Deepest condolences from a long-time lurker. Over the years and the countless blog posts, we’ve gotten to see how much love you had for Lily in taking her in and in giving her the best home a dog could ask for. You gave each other nine years, and from everything you’ve written, it really was a gift.
She’s a good one, John, and like so many good ones is no doubt thankful for all that you’ve done for her. Hold on to that love and gratitude with all you have, and all my sympathies for the road ahead…
bbcf
long time lurker, delurking to say how sorry i am. have followed lily’s story since you got her and am crying for both of you thinking of a similar situation we had with a beloved pet a few years back. what a good girl.
Planetjanet
Lily is such a special being and a gift to you. Through your love and devotion, you have given so much in return. Enjoy some quiet moments with her once more before she leaves this world. My heart is with you both.
Highway Rob
John, words can’t capture how sorry I am for you, and also how awed I am about this group where so many people care about so many other people, and about their animals.
And thanks, too, for sharing your journey, and hers. As a kid, I never had to deal with loss of a pet directly — the cats were never really “mine” and I was too young to understand anyway, and the dogs outlived my presence in the house. As an adult, I’m on my first dog, she’s in late middle age, and I’m occasionally terrified about how I’ll handle it when her time comes. (If I feel this way about a pup I’ve never met…) It means a lot to see how someone else makes their way down the path.
Damn good dog.
Izabela
Such horribly sad news, it’s making me sob while I write these paltry words. John, you gave her family, friendship and love and she gave that back to you. I’m so sorry that this ending came so suddenly.
Quinerly
My heart breaks for you. Similar diagnosis to what I got when my Leo collapsed without warning on a trip to Santa Fe in 2014. Emergency pet hospital diagnosed cancer in liver and spleen. No inkling that he was sick prior to his collapse, though. Then bam and he began to hemorrhage in the middle of the night in our rental place. I’m in tears for you. We never have them long enough. Leo was a spry and wild 11. Hugs. So, so sorry you have to go through this.
ChuckBerryIsGod
/Lurk off
Just so sorry Cole…
Sharing your tears here as well…
WV Blondie
I don’t post often, but I visit and read fanatically. You and Lily – all your four-legged family, but particularly Lily – are part of my family, too. You gave her a wonderful life, and now you have the sorrow of one last gift to her. I’m crying with you. Much love.
chuckInAustin
I’m very sorry to hear this news. I’ve been in that situation several times and it’s heartbreaking.
Thoughtful David
So sorry, John. But she knows you love her. That matters.
oldster
Oh John, I am so, so sorry.
Lily has been a gift to the world, and your love for her–and her love for you–has been a bright spot in the world as well.
You’re a good man, John, and Lily is a very good dog.
Schlemazel
Aw crap, John, I was sure this would work out for the better. I am sick at heart for you.
SG
I’m crying with you, John.
pika
Oh, John, I’m so sorry. Beyond that, no words, save love, which you give in abundance, and especially now
sharl
Rather than just sitting here being all weepy over this, I went hunting…
If this ain’t love, I don’t know what is:
Thank you for sharing so much of this sweet girl with us. You done good, and kept doing good through thick and thin (and while in pain).
p.a.
So sorry John. Cold comfort at present, but what a wonderful life you’ve given her.
Ruviana
I’m so sorry, John. Wishing you peace and light.
Sally
I am so sorry. Please take comfort in knowing that you loved her and took good care of her. She loves you and knows you were a good parent to her. That’s all we can do. Our relationship with our pets are short-lived. We have to remember the good times. You will love again one day.
trollhattan
@sharl:
Perfect, just perfect. There’s pain and there’s pain and there’s love. Sometimes we can’t tell them apart.
mario
We were all lucky to share in your love for Lilly.
Bless you both.
[sob]
tokyocali (formerly tokyo expat)
I am so sorry. She has brought you joy for so many years. Hang on to those memories.
Marcopolo
I don’t comment here much in the pet threads but as someone who had a very similar experience with my third and most recent dog about a year and a half ago my heart really goes out to you. Fuck cancer in people and pets. My dog Jacob was diagnosed with an aggressive cancer during a regular annual check up & I had to put him to sleep eight weeks later. That was about five years earlier than I was prepared for. I’ve held off on adopting a new dog since then but have told my housemate we will get one when the Dems retake the House in Nov.
John, just keep in mind you gave Lily a wonderful wonderful life. And she made your life richer by far. That’s the most important thing and really all we can ask for from family, friends, and pets. Which is really hard to keep in mind when you have to help your friend go peacefully to their next destination.
I am glad you have Steve, Rosie, and Thurston around—they’ll do wonders in keeping you in the present & moving forward.
As for my fellow BJ blog folk—y’all are just about the most compassionate and fine jackals with whom anyone would want to be associated.
Rob in Hawaii
Aloha! I’m not a praying man, John, but you and Lily are in my thoughts today. It’s been two years since our kitty, Sam, died after 16 years in our lives. Still miss the little guy. Best wishes.
MomDoc
Oh no! I am so sorry to hear this. I was hoping for better news. You have given her a wonderful life — that does’t mean much now. She knows you love her. I am so sorry…
Felanius Kootea
I’m so sorry to hear this John. Such awful news. I honestly don’t even know what to say.
erlking
Fuck, John. I’m sorry, man.
woodrowfan
God I am so so so sorry……
DianeB
John, I am so sorry. Like everyone else, I was thinking there would be some good news but unfortunately not. Hugs to you.
tjmn
Angel-winged Tunch will be waiting for her at the Rainbow Bridge. She will be in good paws.
mvr
I’m very sorry that this is happening. As you can tell from the above lots of people are wishing you well. I hope that will be of some comfort over the longer haul. Take good care of yourself as you deal with a bad situation.
iamhbomb
Aww, crap, this really sucks. I’m really sorry that this is happening.
Steeplejack
@pnwjmk:
Condolences to you on the loss of your cat.
SWMBO
Crying with you and for you.Peace and comfort for you both.
marjorie feiner
i am so so sorry.
NJeff
John,
This is my first comment here, but I’ve been lurking for a VERY long time.
Just wanted you to know there’s one more person out here who empathizes, sympathizes, and wishes for you that the waves of grief become less frequent and less intense over time.
She’s still with you, but when she does pass over to the next life I hope her memory will be a blessing for you.
Dave
So sorry for you and Lilly. Sending good vibes your way.
Sonoran
Such a good dog. She will be missed by so many. Thank you for giving her a great life and a peaceful death. ??
Bill
She never doubted for a moment that you love her, and she knows it even now. What a fine gift to have given her, in return for all that she gave you. Good man, good dog. Thank you for sharing her with us. I’m so sorry.
AnnM
What a love she is and what a bond you two have shared. My heartfelt condolences.
MGB
Fuck! I’m so sorry. It just hurts when the little furry ones go. Virtual hugs from a longtime lurker.
NJDave
I started reading this blog just about the time you got Lily. I watched with delight as you fell in love with each other. And now it comes to an end. Having to euthanize a wonderful cat years back I realized that the extra weeks we bought her, hoping against hope, weren’t really for her. And for that I’m ashamed. You know that you are doing the best possible for Lily, even though that “best possible” sucks.
Susanna
John Cole, I’m so sorry.
I’m a lurker and wow, — you and Lily are hugely loved by a whole lot of people.
RSA
I’m so sad for you, John. Take care.
philadelphialawyer
John, I am very sorry for you and Lilly.
Mj_Oregon
I’m so sorry, John. I’m heartened though that you have such an amazing, supportive community here. Lily was a lucky girl to have found you and she returned the love you gave her as only a wonderful dog can. Our four-footed family members can never stay with us as long as we’d like and it hurts like hell to go through this with them. Bless you for doing this last kindness for her. And bless Lily for being such a good friend and loving companion for you. Good dog, Lily. Good dog.
Daniel'sBob
@Bystander: No way I can say it any better than that. So sorry, John.
Donna L Washington Klibanow
I am so sorry. My heart is broken for you right now. I do not comment here often, well, at all, but I love this blog and I love your animals. So many of us have come to love this space and the wisdom, whimsey, comfort, and joy we find here. Thank you for giving us this place to come to and share.
Know that we are all grieving with you.
cbear
I am so, so very sorry, John–from the bottom of my heart, brother…I’m sorry.
Thank you for sharing your sweet girl with us for so many years—and thank you for being such a wonderful human to your beautiful pup.
Peace, my friend.
JerryN
Man that’s just terrible. You’ve given her a great life and she’s been a great part of yours. I’m really sorry.
GeoX
My heart breaks for you, and I hope you are able to find peace.
?BillinGlendaleCA
Oh no, I’m so sorry.
Auntie Beak
Amazing, and kind of wonderful, isn’t it, that the loss of beloved animal you’ve never even met by someone who, also, you’ve never even met can take the heart out of you and have you weeping all over your keyboard. Happened when John lost Tunch, and when Kevin Drum lost Inkblot. Now Lily. Man. I truly sincerely hope there is a rainbow bridge, and they’re all waiting for us on the other side.
MoxieM
Oh Lily. Oh John. Sending all the love and strength there is right now. Not much else to say. She knows you love her, and that’s what matters.
EricNNY
@pnwjmk: my heart goes out to you on this terrible day.
Ann Marie
I am so very sorry, John. I’m sitting here at my office desk with tears running down my face. You and your Lily have made such an impression on us all. I had something similar happen to my cat Tye. In one weekend I went from “he’s a little off” to “he’s dying and there’s nothing we can do”. I howled with grief. Let yourself do that. Hug Steve, Rosie and Thurston, comfort them and let them comfort you. Remember that you rescued her and gave her so much love and happiness and have done everything you could for her. I know you are not religious, but the priest at my father’s wake said that there is a love line between us and those we have lost and that nothing, not even death, can break it. She will always be in your heart.
jfxgillis
This is so, so terrible. I’m so sorry for you, John, and that beautiful pup.
In a way, Lilly is my first pet. I have a cat now, Ruby, but I’d never had a pet before her and reading about Lilly and the other Cole Critters for years before that opened my heart to the possibility.
What Have the Romans Ever Done for Us?
So sorry. This is awful and really sucks. I guess that’s a little redundant but sometimes redundance is called for.
Greg Ferguson
Damn, Cole – too much – I am so sorry. A light in the darkness, she was.
Libby Spencer
Sobbing as I read this. Sending comforting thoughts and hugs.
SiubhanDuinne
@Haon123:
What a lovely quotation. Thank you.
Sasha
Went through this earlier this year. My heart breaks with you. ☹️
Quantumman
I am so sorry to read this. There just are no words. My wife and I have lost so many through the years. It never gets any easier. You have been blessed to have had her, and she has been blessed to have had you.
Joe Miller
Oh John, I’m so very sorry to hear of this. My heart goes out to you so much.
Xytiel
John,
Deepest sympathy. You gave her a great life. She knows how much you love her. I lost a pup a few years ago (slipped out of collar hit by car, hospital but no recovery). In that time I read a blog post with thousands of comments — it is about guilt when a dog dies — but the comments are raw and I found it very comforting, reading other people’s pain like mine. Google “dealing with guilt loss of pet”
boatboy_srq
[[HUG]]
Losing a companion like Lily is never easy. Harder than losing some family members.
Lily was a lady, and a lady knows when it’s time to leave.
We’re all here for you.
Mike S
So very sorry. The worst days of my life were when we had to have doggy memebr of our family put to sleep, but with such a good doggy the happy memories will return and last your lifetime as mine have for our Marta and Tasha. Take care of yourself and your other four-legged family.
BroD
Just let her know you’ll keep the love she gave you forever.
Kay (not the front pager& from my phone)
I’m so sorry to hear this.
When my mom died one of my aunts said something that was a real comfort to me. She meant it in a religious way and I’m not a religious person, but it still was comforting. She said that sometimes death is the best and only healing available. It made me realize that as sad as I was, my mother’s suffering was over and in a sense she was healed. I hope you can come to a place where you feel like Lily is healed from her pain and misery. Aside from that I don’t know how you deal with the grief. I just know that you will, eventually.
arrieve
I’m so sorry John. Lily is such a lovely creature, and my heart breaks for you both.
Denali
So very sorry to hear this, John. Hugs.
Torrey
I am so very sorry. I feel like I know Lily. I’ve been reading since shortly before you adopted her, and there’s no question: she landed on all four paws the day she met you. She is the sweetest dog, and you have taken wonderful care of her. I don’t know if it is helpful at all, but Ubertool cartoon #97, if no one else has mentioned it, is one I’ve found comforting in this situation. (I still cry my eyes out, but it is some comfort.) Thank you for sharing Lily with us. It is clear that she truly had a wonderful time with you.
Dog Mom
I am feeling numb at this news – remembering another sweet dog taken by a similar wretched disease – IMHA – Immune Mediated Hemolytic Anemia.
So, So Sorry, John. I wish for Lily a gentle passage, and for you, John, peace eased by all the love and good memories filling your heart.
I don’t know if you will even get down to reading this with so many comments.
As others have said, have a driver. Also, please ask the vets if another transfusion for Lily might give quality time and some degree of safety for the ride home.
Also, as practical advice for traveling with an ailing dog, take some baby wipes, towels and/or blankets. Take change of cloths for yourself. Hydrate, eat and maybe bring a pain reliever for yourself as stress can bring on a headache or your own personal manifestation of pain. You just need to get through what you need to do. I wish you strength.
Starfish
This is so sad, John. I hope you are able to get her home and to Harry.
BruceJ
Oh man, John, I am so sorry. Lily was really special.
hellslittlestangel
I’m sorry, John.
notoriousJRT
Hearts all over the world are breaking for you, John. Your acquisition of Lily was what kept me coming back to a blog with which I had not previously felt sympatico. I wish I could offer more than words to ease the pain for you. When you love an animal it often means facing a terrible choice that often is no choice at all. But we have to make that call for the ones who rely on us to do so. Again, my heart is broken by this news. I send all of it to you and Lily.
Lyrebird
Just doing my bit to echo what others have said more eloquently and help bring you to a Tbogg unit or something…
Nothing to add really but thoughts of light for you and Lily and all the other members of your household.
Blue the Wild Dog
John, I’m so sorry to hear this terrible news. I’ve been lurking at this blog for years and loved reading everything about Lily and seeing all the photos of her. We had to say goodbye to my namesake a few weeks ago. It’s difficult now, but thank you for giving her a great life and sharing it with us.
Slightly_peeved
So sorry to hear this John. I remember reading when you first meet her. She’s a good dog.
mattH
Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck
Sis
I’m heartbroken for you. As I know many others have said, I feel as if I know you and Lily. You and your sweet girl will be in my thoughts.
Skepticat
Your decision is brave, wise, and too rare. We’ve all seen too many animals miserable and in pain because their humans were unable to let them go. One of my greatest fears was that it would be time to save an animal from suffering and I would be too selfish to do it. I was amazed and relieved that I was able to let one of my beloved cats escape prolonged pain, and it was not quite as bad as I’d feared. You’re given Lily an absolutely wonderful life, and we’re grateful to have enjoyed a bit of it. Give her a final scritch for all of us, and share out the leftover love with your other animals.
normal liberal
John, I am so very sorry that this has happened to your sweet good girl. She knows how you love and care for her, and even as she knew you were her best person ever, she was there as you have shown your love and kindness with her four-footed housemates and showed such compassion for Walter. You are a good man, and are doing the right and good last loving action for Lily.
Please have someone with you to drive and help however else you need it, so you can focus on her.
Keith G
I’m sorry, Cole. Your telling of stories about her has really touched my heart over the years. It hurts from way done here in Houston. I know your feelings must border on the indescribable.
The Very Reverend Crimson Fire of Compassion
I’m so sorry. The worst part of living is that time and love are simply not compatible. In spite of the brutality of that fact, it gives me a strange hope. Nothing exists without purpose, and that disconnect implies (for me) that there exists some context in which we get to love and be loved completely, the way we never get to here.
Feebog
I have been tied up all day and just got home. All I can say is that i’m very sorry to hear this, We lost our pup a few months ago while on vacation. It was devastating at the time, but like you we have another pet to love and care for. I know Lily has a special place in your heart, take comfort in your good memories.
Earl
Jesus John. I don’t know what to say, except I’m so so sorry for you both.
Mary in Ohio
I am so very sorry to read this. Please be kind to yourself. When you find your mind racing in the middle of the night and doubts set in a gentle reminder that you did everything right. You didn’t miss any signs. You got her vet care swiftly. You got appropriate testing and treatment in the hopes of a different outcome. You are honoring her by helping her to pass peacefully. There is not a damn thing you could have done to change the ending. Lily is the best dog and you were blessed to have each other.
Gianduja Kiss
You gave her such a good life and for so many years; she knew she was loved.
Rob Lll
So hard. So sorry. Love to Lily and you.
(((CassandraLeo)))
I’m so sorry. Losing a pet is the worst, and both you and she deserved better. You did everything right, so don’t feel bad about yourself. I wish there were something better to be done. It’s awful.
pk
Lost my lab to cancer. Still miss her after 9 yrs, still remember how happy she made me, how her eyes lit up as she jumped to her feet every time I reached for a jacket. She was a gift, even in memories. I’m so sorry. It’s so painful to go through. Good to have your animal family around to get you through it.
TheFlipPsyD
I’ve read this blog practically every day for at least the past twelve years. Just de-lurking to say how sorry I am about Lily. Even though we’ve never met and I’ve only commented once or twice I am sending you lots of love. Thank you for being a part of my daily life. I’ve unfortunately had to make the hard decision in the past year, but there will be a time that comes when the tears dry and you will remember and feel Lily’s love with a smile.
I’m so sorry for your loss.
enplaned
In a situation like this, the only comfort is knowing that you absolutely did right by the animal. And you did.
Lily didn’t know it, but the best day in her life was the day she met you. Every day thereafter was a close second.
Badgirl
Fuck. Long time lurker and dog lover. So sorry for your loss.
NW-Steve
The only thing I can say is that you have a stadium full of friends here, including a bunch that you don’t even know about. They are with you 110%.
Bnad
I’m so sorry. Lily sounds like a sweet girl.
MaryRC
So sorry, John.
5x5
I’m so sorry.
Gemina13
I’m so deeply sorry, John. They never live long enough. They steal our hearts thoroughly, and break them just as much.
Lily’s memory will always be a blessing. She was, is, and always will be loved.
Lymie
Sob. Been there too many times.
Hildebrand
I am so sorry, John. I wish we could fix this, but this community is with you.
Lee Hartmann
With so many comments here, you can see how special you are to the community you helped create. You are needed.
Travels with charley
Long time lurker who remembers the wonderful arrival of Lily. Grieve and remember her, hold her in your heart.
debg
I’m so very sorry for you both, John. You’ve loved each other for a long time. While it’s going to be tough for you to live without her, at least she will not have to live without you, ever again.
RetrieverMom
I remember when you visited the pet shelter for several days before deciding Lily was the right one and how you brought her out of her shell. She is a special dog. This always hurts like hell but be glad that you had the gift that Lily is. My thoughts are with all of you.
skerry
I am so sorry for you, Lily and the pack. You have been well-loved and given it in return.
BCHS Class of 1980
Blog gutpunches:
– Steve Gilliard,
– Tunch,
– Kevin Drum’s Inkblot,
– And now Lily.
So sorry for your loss. If there is additional monetary need, please don’t hesitate to bleg.
hilzoy
I am so, so, SO sorry. You love each other so much, and its so horrible. I still remember when you told me about how you found her, and all I can think of to say is: after what must have been a really rough start to her life, you gave her the best life and the best person a dog could have. And to have found such a wonderful dog to give your love to is a great gift.
All my thoughts are with the two of you.
Svensker
Oh, Cole. I am so very very sorry. There are lots of words, but none of them will do any damn good. Lots of people, including me, will be holding you in their hearts tomorrow. Hugs.
glory b
Oh John, I can’t say anymore than what has come before. Peace to Lily and you, since she’s not here with me, I will give my dog an extra hug in her place.
Ol'Froth
You gave her a great life, filled with love, warmth, security and care. Peace.
hitchhiker
Just seeing this, and adding my voice to the thousand howling jackals.
What on earth can a person say?
All the tears, dammit.
b1narys3rf
Damnit, just damnit. I’m sorry Cole.
sdhays
Lily is a very fortunate girl to have you. She has lived her life knowing how much she’s loved. There’s not much more any of us could ask for. You two are in my thoughts.
beth
oh, john, my heart is broken for you and lily. i am so so sorry. you gave each other the best and that is such a precious a gift. i hope the memories of that life shared bring you comfort and eventually help patch over the giant hole she is leaving in your heart.
ChristianPinko
@Humdog: What Humdog said. Take care of yourself, John.
Poor Lily.
SoupCatcher
Aw man. So sorry, John.
Culture of Truth
I’m so sorry, John. Heartbreaking.
Z!
I’m so sorry, John. Lily was the best girl. I didn’t know her myself, but reading your posts about her over the past years and years, I almost felt like I did.
You did great by her, right from the very start. You made her life better than anyone else could have.
Antonius
John, I’m so sorry. She’s had a wonderful life with you. There could have been no one better for her.
c u n d gulag
My deepest condolences, John.
Losing a beloved pet is every bit as sad as losing a favorite relative or close friend.
Take good care of yourself and the other pets.
Lily would want you to and her pals to remain healthy.
Mary Marvin
I am so sorry, John. You found Lily around the same time I lost my beloved Annie. For me, Lily was such a wonderful reminder of our sweet, perfect dog.
I will miss her so much. I am glad you have Thurston and Steve and Rosie. And you have all of us, holding you and Lily tightly, if only in our thoughts.
Major Major Major Major
So, so sorry and sad for you, JC.
Libarbarian
Sorry man. Hang in there!
Argiope
I am so sorry. There’s no one on earth like the very bestest dog ever, and there never will be. They are unique, and uniquely mourned even when other wonderful pooches come our way in later years. She is so lucky to have you as her human, John, to hold her gently and know when to let go. And I’m glad to see Lily gets her own TBogg unit—a tribute worthy of your love for each other.
Kate Koeze
I don’t know Lily, but I know how you love her. So sorry.
LaNonna
Our deepest condolences, it is a brutal wrench to lose a beloved member of the family.
Cheryl Rofer
I’ve been out most of the day, John. I’m so sorry to hear this. She’s been a real support to you.
Mothra
I’m so so sorry. So sorry. Trump
Sandia Blanca
I could handle the deaths of Harry Anderson and Carl Kasell, and did not mourn much for Barbara Bush, but reading this news about Lily made me bawl. What is it about animals that gets to us at such a deep level? They represent pure life, love, and beauty, and they see us at our worst and our best, and love us all the same. If we could all be in West Virginia in person, we would hug Cole and all the pets tightly. Love to Lily.
David
We are sorry this is happening to you. We have been through the same thing twice in the last 6 months and the fact that the pain will fade doesn’t make it any easier now. God bless.
Linda
I’m so sorry. When you have a pet that good and sweet, losing her is horrible.
AndoChronic
So sorry John. Take care Lily.
Miss Bianca
Oh, John. That’s all that i can say. Teary for you and punchy from staying up almost all last night with my poor old stella, who was in gret distress from diarrhea. Oh, old dogs – how they tear our hearts up. So, so sorry to hearyour news.
Thor Heyerdahl
Ah shit John. I haven’t checked here or your Twitter feed all day. So sorry to read such awful news.
Tinare
I’m so, so sorry to hear this. It’s so unfair that their lives are so short.
jackmac
So sorry John. Dogs are so awesome and so (relatively) short-lived. I know you also went through this painful experience with Tunch. You’ll find a way to get through it and eventually you’ll recall Lily with fond memories and a smile. For what it’s worth, our family is acutely aware of what you’re going through. Our dog, Daisy, was diagnosed last week with colon and lung cancer and we’re preparing to say goodbye. It’s tough and you’re in our thoughts.
SamW
I’m so sorry for you and for Lilly. Loosing a pet never gets easier, but I know you will do the right thing for her. It’s the hard side of the social contract we all make when we bring pets into our lives.
Everyone hold your little ones closer tonight and be thankful for what you have. That’s what I’ll be doing.
wenchacha
Just horrible rotten news. I am sorry.
AnneWith
I am so sorry, John.
ohthatguy
I am so sorry.
we often feed the stray dogs near our house, becausedogs are awesome, and we miss our old dogs. I am going to tell them their breakfast today is a Lily memorial. They don’t seem to know English, but I think they will understand
Madeleine
Since Lily became ill I’d held out hope that her condition, while serious, would be treatable. Until this afternoon’s post so carefully and devastatingly speilling out every side of the situation. My heart goes out to you, John, and to Lily, so boundlessly loving and sweet.
dww44
I’ve been away most of the day and so this is shocking and unexpected news. I had so hoped the prognosis would be hopeful. I am so very sorry.
klokanek
I’m so sorry, John! I know how much you love her. <3
Bjacques
Sweet little doggo! I’m very sorry. You’ve been her hero and provider of a wonderful life for her.
pinacacci
lovely lily
TriassicSands
Very late here. I’m truly sorry for this turn of events.
Tenar Arha
I’m so sorry John. I’ll be thinking of you & Lily, and I’m wishing you both a good day together.
Eric
I’m so sorry. She’s a good girl and owes her good years to you. Keep being good to her for what she has left.
CapnMubbers
When it’s good, it’s never long enough. My heart breaks for you.
judyinsd
You showed Lily everyday that she was indeed a good dog, a sweet girl who deserved the best, and she relaxed and found happiness in your love. You have been her angel and now she will always be yours.
Linkmeister
Cole, I am so sorry. I wish I knew how to help. My condolences to you and your other animals, because they’ll miss her too.
Patricia Kayden
Devastated to hear this news, John. Lily had a good life as she had a human who adored her. That’s what matters now. ((John))
pat
So so sorry. I’m tearing up, and recalling the last time I held our soft, sweet Susy cat as the vet was preparing the injection.
Sending good thoughts your way.
Blue mouser
I’m so sorry about Lily. She is such a loving dog and you two have a deep and special bond. She and you were so lucky to have found one another. I’m glad you have such a supportive community, both in the the virtual and the “real” world to give you comfort and solace to help you though this terrible loss
HeartlandLiberal
John, I am so sorry. I have written multiple times here on how we bond with out animals, it is something I understand. I share your tears and pain. My thoughts and obviously those of hundreds are with you and Lily. I am sitting here in my Lazyboy, legs up, with our two year old cat Calvin snugged up between my stretched out legs on the other side of my laptop. I don’t remember her getting there, usually after sitting here with my laptop for a while, I become aware she seems to have materialized into her snug place. I understand. I wish you well.
Gregory
I am so, so sorry. I know how hard this time can be. Whatever hard call you have to make will be done with love, and I have no doubt Lily will know that. Wishing you peace and comfort in the days ahead.
RealityBites
So sorry. Wish there had been more time for you and her to love each other.
kingweasil
truly sorry for your heartache, pets become one of the family
Carol Van Natta
My deepest sympathies on the responsible but wretchedly hard decision you’ve had to make regarding your beloved Lily. It totally sucks, even if it’s the right thing to do. Please take care of yourself in the coming days, and give yourself time and space for grief. And try not to snarl at the well-meaning but fucking clueless people who say “you can always get another.”
Sister Machine Gun of Quiet Harmoney
I felt that way when my cat died. I was there when she was born, when she was diagnosed with cancer, and when we sent her to a peaceful end. It hurt me so much I didn’t think I’d ever get over it, but life eventually goes on. I’m so sorry you are going through this. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.
sherparick
Sorry I am so late replying. The screen got kind of blurry for a while. It just sucks John, just sucks. Lily is a beautiful dog. My thoughts and condolences as say good by to her.
WaterGirl
Cole, my first waking thought was of Lily. and you. Lily is your one, and you are hers, forever.
Jim
All of us are crying with you right now, John. We know how much she means *to* you, and how much she did *for* you. You’re a changed man because of her, and that will be her legacy. Good girl, Lily. Good girl.
mardam422
John, I’m sitting here at my desk at work crying with you. I’m so sorry.
Good dog!!!
cleek
so so sorry to hear that, John.
sounds like she had a good run with you; you made her time a good one.
Chris in Durham
John – I’m so sorry to hear this. Lily was such a good dog and neither of you deserve this. We lost our dog Puff to heart failure just Monday and it’s been a shitty week ever since. I hope you and Lily are both able to find peace.
Gex
Well, I’m bawling. I’m so sorry John. I remember the series of posts leading up to you adopting Lily and I know just how special she is to you. My heart is breaking for you both. She is the best girl, she had the best home, and someday those facts will make your heart soar again, rather than hurt.
Rob in CT
I’m so sorry for you. The good news, such as it is, is that you are capable of such love. You’re a good person, Cole, and Lily knew it the way dogs can.
Leto
John, my wife and I are so, so sorry to hear this. Everything about this sucks, but you’re doing the right thing. You’ve given her an incredible life, filled with love, over these last nine years compared to where she was when you found her. You’re a good man, John. The entire Cole clan will be in our thoughts today.
jnfr
Oh John I am so sorry. Lily, you are so loved.
mg_65
John, I am so sorry. I’m sending all the love to you and Lily.
baquist
So sorry John. Someone is cutting onions here at my work desk. Hugs to all of you. She had a great life with you, and she made your life better. I wish more of us could have these words said at the end of our journey.
leeleeFL
Only thing to say is so sorry, John, and that this just sucks. Lost many pets , as you have, and it never, ever is easy, even if it is a blessing. Love to you, to Lily and to all your critters who will miss her too
canuckistani
I wish there was something I could say to make this better, but I don’t have anything.
Except maybe that you aren’t alone, you’ve built a community of people who are with you at this awful time.
gus
This is late, but I had to say, you’re a good pet dad, John. You did so well by Lily and gave her a great life. She brightened not only your days, but those of your readers, too. Your heart will be broken, but please let that be some measure of consolation.
Beeb
I just saw this and I am so, so sorry. Thank you for sharing darling Lily with all of us. And thank you for keeping the promise we all make our pets when they join our lives, even though that promise is so very painful to keep.
Nash
Probably been 10+ years since I commented, but seeing this forces me to end years of silence. I’m so sorry, Mr. Cole, for your pain and loss.
Nash
Amanda Toth
John, I am very very sad to hear this. I know how much it hurts to lose your very best friend, the one who gives you unconditional love. The decision you have to make is the most difficult one to make, but it sounds like it is probably the right one to make. You have a lot of people that care about you and will support you during this time. Important to remember that you rescued her and gave her a wonderful life full of love. Virtual hug to you, and fly free, Lily.
Jimmm
No words… I’m so, so sorry, John.
Godlesssailor
Just completely lost it at my desk after reading this. I’ve never commented here but have been reading for almost a decade. I lost my BF, Mister (he was in the 2010 calander) two years ago and this brought it all back up.
We really don’t deserve dogs. You gave this one and all your pets a great life.
I’m so sorry John.
Leslie
I’m so sorry.
tesslibrarian
I am so, so sorry.
There is nothing as painful, especially for your Best Girl. It’s never easy, even knowing it is your last act of kindness.
Just know the love never goes away. It hurts for a long time, a little bit forever, but the love never goes away. Lily will always be part of who you are.
Pharniel
All my sympathies. That sucks just so much.
Mike Jones
I’m so sorry, John. Small donation in memory of Lily on its way. I hope it helps in some small way.
Dogs’ lives are too short. Their only fault, really. — Agnes Sligh Turnbull