I Find You Unimpressive And Boring

“Yes, gaze upon my magnificence, and yes, that is your quilt and bathrobe upon which I rest.”

“I find you unimpressive and boring. How much? This much?”

“Cower at the sight of my fangs, you insignificant furless food dispenser.”

“Now be gone with you, I shan’t require any additional sustenance until 5 am. You will know when you hear my calls.”

The last picture was a positively Tunchesque sneer.

48 replies
  1. 1
    rikyrah says:

    Every last one of those pictures scared me.

  2. 2
    Mathguy says:


  3. 3
    AnotherBruce says:


  4. 4
    Chet Murthy says:

    Needs shaved.

  5. 5
    NotMax says:

    If the shoe fits…


  6. 6
    Yutsano says:

    Why hello there Papa Stevedore Hemingway!
    Proper authoritahs shall be alerted,

  7. 7
    Karmus says:

    Magnificent beast!

    Your cat is not bad, either.

  8. 8
    piratedan says:

    you’re damn lucky that he’s such a benevolent despot…. now make yourself useful and go warm up another comfy resting location, just in case….

  9. 9
    Suzanne says:

    Oh whatever, cat. Cole should jump on top of you and cuddle you relentlessly. You look tough, but I am not fooled.

  10. 10
    SectionH says:

    I finally got it. Your cat = your projection about the cat. It’s ok, it’s cool. I think all of us who have cats may project a little bit at times.

    I think Steve’s kinda proof that you really do like your critters, even if you vent at/through them at times. I’m more prepared to believe that people (at least we jackals) drive you nuts. Sorry about that, if we do. But not very, because I was projecting when I typed the above.

  11. 11
    RobertDSC-Mac Mini says:

    I like Steve but I will always be Team Tunch.

  12. 12
    SectionH says:

    @RobertDSC-Mac Mini: Porque no los dos?

  13. 13
    Emma says:

    Really? I’m only visiting you if I can wear armor.

  14. 14

    This is why the cave is a dog only house.

  15. 15
    Aleta says:

    A colossus! Forelegs as big around as tree trunks. His yawn could rival Howe Caverns in magnificence.

  16. 16
  17. 17
    mai naem mobile says:

    I am surprised he’s not.picking up his paw and waving you off.
    Anyhow,anybody watch the crazy NK professional cheer squad fans or whatever you want to call them. They kind of looked a combo of stupid/creepy/weird in being oblivious to what was going on around them. It was like having an autistic kid or something where they don’t understand what’s societally acceptable.

  18. 18
    NotMax says:


    You know who else had a dog in a cave.


  19. 19
    frosty says:

    Now I am more convinced that I should never cohabitat with a cat.

  20. 20

    Doesn’t that just shave the cats ass.

  21. 21
  22. 22
    Sm*t Cl*de says:

    Think of yourself as Steve’s Emotional Support Monkey. It is good to have a purpose in life.

  23. 23
    trollhattan says:

    I don’t understand this world where a kittycat becomes 2x kittycat. At that point don’t they win?

  24. 24
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  26. 26
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    Donald Trump can only imagine that he might be 1/1000th as regal as Steve is.

  27. 27
    Elizabelle says:

    The cat says: Meh.

  28. 28
    J R in WV says:

    What a Kitty…!!! John, how much did this beast weigh at his last Vet checkup? Ours bigger black and dark brown (with a tiny spot of pale tan) totrtie calico weighs between 14 and 15 pounds – Punkin peaked out near 30 pounds which is how she earned the name Punkin – she was a sphere with a little head and 4 little paws. We fed her punpkin to bulk her diet meals to quell her terrible hunger.

    When Mrs J rescued her from a culvert she was 7 inches long and skinny, we thought she was recently abandoned but the Vet the next day told us she was near to 6 months old and needed spayed.

    Our power went off about 11 pm and came back on around 2:30 this morning. We have an installed generator that runs off the natural gas feed, starts automatically after 15 seconds, runs til it detects the grid is back. Constant rain for the past several days has made the soil soft which encourages trees to fall on the lines.

    We went to town this afternoon to see “The Post” with Merrill Streep and Tom Hanks. It’s about the release of the top secret Pentagon Papers, and Kay Graham’s battle both internal and with her board of directors of the Paper she owns to publish the Papers after being threatened by the Nixon DoJ with prison.

    Having grown up in a newsroom with my Dad in charge of that newspaper, I have seen these issues (not with Nixon’s DoJ, but with local politicians suing and being sued) and many of the tropes of the 1970s newspaper were as familiar to me as the keyboard of this laptop. The Linotypes setting the hot lead type telling the story, the headlines being set, the giant rotary press starting up and making the large office building of the Post tremble at the 12 midnight press deadline.

    At the end of the film, a solitary black security guard finds a door taped so it wouldn’t latch, goes through that door, finds another door rigged to stay unlatched, on the door the words “Democratic National Committee” The Guard calls his HQ office and says “I think we have a break-in. Then you see the building is the Watergate.

    I will confess that when we saw the Linotypes, with burly printers setting type with cigars in their mouths, and the press starting up after Streep/Graham’s order to roll the press at midnight, I teared up with memories of my youth…

  29. 29
    J R in WV says:

    @J R in WV:

    The darmed Punkin cat topped out just over 20 two-zero pounds, not 30… The edit would NOT come up for me…. serves me right for getting out of bed at 2:30 or 3 am and trying to type. I’m doing my best!!!

  30. 30
    CaseyL says:

    Steve is gaw-juss.

    Kitty yawns are the best yawns. I love how their ears go back flat to their skulls when they yawn.

  31. 31
    Sab says:

    @J R in WV: 30 pound cat! My 93 year old dad was in hospital then nursing home the last couple of weeks. We had to decide what about his fifteen pound cat that lives alone with him.

    We took him (cat) home to stay with our four cats and hoped they wouldn’t hurt him. Not to worry. He is an indoor/outdoor cat who deals with predatory neighbor cats and an actual fox family. They are indoor cats who deal with each other and the family dogs. Two of yhem are almost as big as he is, but they were terrified, while he sat around benignly looking large. He didn’ get much sleep, however, because they kept sneaking up on him and batting his tail.

    Dad coming home in a day or so, so cat gets to go home to peace and warmth.

  32. 32
    Sab says:

    @J R in WV: I had same edit problem as you. 30 pound cat isn’t even a cat. 20+ pound cat is still huge.

  33. 33
    lowtechcyclist says:


    you’re damn lucky that he’s such a benevolent despot…. now make yourself useful and go warm up another comfy resting location, just in case….

    This. Or be prepared to be a warm, comfy cat pedestal and lounging location.

    Right now, our cat is using my wife in that capacity.

  34. 34
    Zinsky says:

    Cat — the other white meat…

  35. 35
    donnah says:

    Steve is a beauty AND a beast.

  36. 36
    bemused says:

    Steve is a gorgeous boy. I love the longhairs.

    Cats are so damn nosy. They somehow know when their humans are doing something that is not usual routine. The humans are up to something that sounds different. They can be sleeping in another room and suddenly there they are by my side checking out what I am doing and getting in my way. I have an old ice chest that is used for storage and I thought it was time to empty it out and declutter. One kitty almost 9#, a little chubby immediately had to go into the empty ice chest and squeeze herself into shelf space that is only 5 inches high. I think she would have taken a nap there so had to shoo her out.

  37. 37
    zhena gogolia says:

    Love you, Steve.

  38. 38
    Mark says:

    Now go away or I will taunt you some more!

  39. 39
    danielx says:

    Truly ferocious fangs. Every time I see one of hours doing that, I secretly suspect they’re wondering if I taste like chicken.

  40. 40
  41. 41
    Olivia says:

    Awww. What looks to you like a sneer looks like squinty lovey eyes to me. I think it’s all that hair that makes him look menacing. That, and the attitude.

  42. 42
    AnnM says:

    Pure feline magnificence! You are so honored.

  43. 43
    Shell says:

    Nah, Steve just looks very, very relaxed. And comfortable.

  44. 44
    w3ski says:

    Weird question I know, but is that a “terrycloth” robe you have or is that some other material? I have loved a progression of towel like robes thru my life and just seem to reject the more modern ‘fleece’.
    Just a wondering

  45. 45
    gammyjill says:

    Gorgeous beast. Not a cat, a beast.

  46. 46
    StringOnAStick says:

    @Sm*t Cl*de: Mrs. Spats is a gorgeous beast, as is Steve. Our longhair (hopefully) gray tabby kittens are 5 months old now, and going in for tutoring on the 22nd. I haven’t had a kitten since I was 6 and my husband has never had a kitten, and watching these two play has been so interesting, like a window into the wild side I’ve never seen with just one cat. The one who was always the smaller one is now looking bigger than her sister and the next length of fur is growing out everywhere. I don’t know if they’ll be a fluffy as Steve and Mrs. Spats, but I hope so. I also have no idea how big they will eventually get since the parents were long gone, but their feet seem to be getting bigger faster than their bodies currently.

  47. 47

    You’re lucky he lets you live in his house.

  48. 48
    Sherparick says:

    I am the King of my domain, the lord of all I survey.

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