So remember "raw water"? Yeah, it's actually tap water from Oregon that some dude is selling for $64. Shockingly, there are zero health benefits: https://t.co/7Dj949Ry64 #eattherich
— Ej Dickson (@ejdickson) January 5, 2018
Thank Murphy the Trickster God for consumer-oriented media:
… Live Water makes it look like its product has been skimmed off the surface of a magical mountain spring. Founder Mukhande Singh lives in Hawaii, and you can find him on Instagram filling glass orbs from natural water sources trickling down over jungle vegetation, or from PVC pipes protruding from springs just below the ground. Singh—whose birth name is Christopher Sanborn—says he’s personally drunk from “hundreds” of natural springs and has never gotten sick. His company’s site even includes a link to findaspring.com, a website for water gatherers to find naturally occurring water sources.
When raw water first started going viral, a number of other outlets reported on the dangers of collecting your drinking water directly from a spring. Given the potential health risks, we wanted to find out exactly where “Fountain of Truth” comes from.
On its website, Live Water says it’s sourced from Opal Springs, Oregon, a natural spring at the bottom of a canyon near the small city of Madras. So we called Jonathan Modie, a spokesperson for the Oregon Department of Public Health, to ask what kind of water “collecting” goes on at Opal Springs.
Modie said that Opal Springs was fed by an aquifer that was able to meet all the standards for public consumption without treatment, and that the water was distributed by the Deschutes Valley Water District, a nonprofit utility company that’s been in business since 1919. When we called the Deschutes Valley Water District to ask how bottling companies like Live Water get water from the spring. They made it clear that no, Singh isn’t down at the bottom of the Opal Springs Canyon dunking his $33 1 gallon globes in by hand like he does on his Instagram.
“They all like to sorta imply that they’re filling bottles right outta Opal Springs,” Edson Pugh, the general manager, told me. “They are not down at our spring bottling directly from the source. It’s the same water that we’re serving our customers.”
In other words, Live Water’s pricey “Fountain of Truth” is just the tap water from Jefferson County, which residents get piped into their homes for about one-third of a cent per gallon.
When we asked Live Water to confirm this, Singh was open about it…
Because transparency is a key metric for the highly awakened demographic in search of The Next Big “Health” Product!
we brought back measles, we brought back whooping cough, let's see, we need a bigger challenge, time for DYSENTERY #rawwater
— What duck? (@geeoharee) January 3, 2018
I just wish I could find the tweet pointing out that getting Silicon Valley tech bros to pay a premium for a potentially deadly product, for fear of being seen consuming the same water as common poor people, was in itself a peculiarly 2017 form of genius…
Ruckus
Money is no substitute for intelligence. And a degree is no guarantee of actually having learned anything of any use for daily living. For some/many it may be an impediment. I can name names in our current political disaster if needed.
CONGRATULATIONS!
Always wondered how the Romans went from concrete and pipes to huts made out of sticks and shit. Looks like it’s just human nature to take all your valuable discoveries and set them on fire, forgetting that they ever existed.
Schlemazel
I think big pharma does not want you to know the truth about the health benefits of giardia! If raw water is ‘successful’ it will cut into the sale of big pharma’s weight loss drugs.
Unless it really is just coming out of the tap in which case he really should be busted for false advertising.
Villago Delenda Est
I love this. It’s an outright fraud, but the fuckheads that are the techbros are totally into it.
Villago Delenda Est
@Ruckus: Are you alluding to a certain “stable genius” by chance?
efgoldman
Wasn’t there some kind of stupidly expensive useless juicer aimed at bros with too much money and too little common sense?
Omnes Omnibus
@efgoldman: I am a stupidly expensive, useless juicer, but I really don’t think you mean me.
Another Scott
@efgoldman: Yup.
VF: Silicon Valley’s favorite $400 juicer is based on a lie.
Cheers,
Scott.
Another Scott
I get more optimistic about our future when obvious scams like these blow up in days rather than months or years as in olden times.
Cheers,
Scott.
efgoldman
@Another Scott: Thx
@Omnes Omnibus: Not a Balloon Juicer
schrodingers_cat
@efgoldman: Vitamix?
Ruckus
@Villago Delenda Est:
He ain’t the only fucking one. The entire crew is a gaggle of useless fucks. Useless fucks with bad ideas, power and an overwhelming amount of stupid. Which may be their best quality.
Matt McIrvin
@Schlemazel: The sulfurous belches serve as an effective means of birth control.
amygdala
Better than getting sued for making your ridiculous customers sick with a diarrheal illness, I guess.
Villago Delenda Est
@Another Scott: And yet an obvious fraud is sitting in the Oval Office.
chris
@Ruckus: This guy on Twitter has a PHD but it sounds like he learned the hard way long before college.
MobiusKlein
It’s nothing new, nothing specific to ‘techbros’
Sucker Born Every Minuit, after all.
And for my joke,
How does a Homeopathic Practitioner induce an abortion?
Fair Economist
@efgoldman: There was, but it wasn’t nearly as much of a scam as this.
Kinda interesting that the scamster had the sense to use tap water and not real “raw water”. He had the sense to avoid something that would make his customers sick.
Omnes Omnibus
@efgoldman: You did not specify.
Mike J
Call her a what?
ruemara
WE have had an overdose of opinions presented with equal weight to facts. I fear we’ll just have to have some deaths to provide a lesson.
@Villago Delenda Est: I think we need to do more of this to keep them from having money to fuck up democracy.
debbie
@Another Scott:
FFS! From your link:
Mike in NC
From a few recent AP articles, it seems the media has settled on “economic nationalists” as the 2018 catchall phrase for describing Trump supporters, as opposed to National Socialists or just plain old white supremacists. OK, then you fuckers.
efgoldman
@MobiusKlein:
But only 3/4 of the time.
Felanius Kootea
@schrodingers_cat: Hey, I received a Vitamix blender as a gift in 2007 and it’s still going strong. I make buckwheat flour from buckwheat groats and fruit smoothies – my regular blender could not handle that.
Ruckus
@chris:
Experience may be the best teacher but sometimes learning the hard way is a stone bitch.
schrodingers_cat
@Felanius Kootea: Hello Megan, is that you?
Another Scott
@Villago Delenda Est: Jim Comey hasn’t weighed in on Raw Water, yet.
(sigh)
Cheers,
Scott.
Felanius Kootea
@schrodingers_cat: Umm, I draw the line at a Thermomix :-) :-) :-). McArdle be crazy.
trollhattan
My backpacking career has spanned the giardia “discovery” and since that time I’ve investigated/invested in/replaced innumerable backcountry water treatment devices so as not to acquire unwanted waterborne flora whilst traveling rough. This kinda sets the whole concept on its ear.
Morans.
cynthia ackerman
It’s the thirst mutilator.
satby
There’s a new handmade soap and lotions vendor at the farmer’s market who advertises her wares as ” gluten free, vegan friendly, etc.etc. edible skin care”. Every woo buzz word she could jam onto a chalkboard. Having to be across from the idiocy was galling, even though in spite of all her magical invocations of non-existent health benefits, I still sold more than her. Some people just live to be conned.
Ken
@ruemara:
It’s the same problem as with vaccines. They were so successful, that we’ve had two generations that haven’t experienced an epidemic – so the current generation of parents thinks that measles et al are no big deal.
Ken
@satby: Something like this, perhaps?
mai naem mobile
This product should be aimed solely at Dolt45 supporters because you know they’ll buy it.
oatler.
Reminds me of the structured water craze.
Chet Murthy
@Schlemazel: It is apparently completely legal. Back in the day (20yr ago) there was a company selling bottled water all over the country that was just ….. (wait for it) Houston tap water. I mean, if that’s legal ……
satby
@Ken: lol! Yes. Ask why you would specify “gluten free” on a product made with oils and water creates puzzlement; pointing out that gluten sensitivity is a digestive disorder, not an allergy, and you get the answer that the skin is our largest organ.
Yeah, it is, but it doesn’t eat anything.
Really, sometimes I just go ask questions just to fuck with them.
Butthurt Jordan Trombone (fka XTPD)
Being a damned millennial, I view the diseases of Ye Olden Days with a sense of both gratitude at reprieve and as basically prehistoric relics. Waiting with dread to see which illness is next to make a comeback:
“Hey, didn’t we BAN typhus and diphtheria?”
SiubhanDuinne
Open Thread? I’m many hours late for Tom’s Gilbert & Sullivan parody below, but here’s my own contribution (let me know if you don’t know the original and I’ll provide a link):
As someday it may happen that a sucker must be named —
I’ve got a little list,
I’ve got a little list
Of society offenders who must henceforth be defamed:
They’d none of them be missed,
They’d none of them be missed!
There’s the Habermans and Thrushes of the failing New York Times,
The parodists who try to outmaneuver Gilbert’s rhymes;
The Christie from New Jersey — well, his Bridgegate ran aground,
And Rudy Giuliani whose ambition knows no bound,
And all the Trump confessors who the royal arse have kissed,
They’d none of them be missed.
I don’t think they’d be missed.
(He’s got ’em on the list,
They’re on the Donald’s list,
And they never will be missed,
I’m sure they’ll not be missed!)
There’s the wee Attorney General who never got the gist:
The elf is on the list!
I’ve got him on the list!
I look at all my Cabinet and I am truly pissed,
‘Cause they’d none of them be missed!
They never would be missed!
There’s the Tillerson who vainly tries to reconfigure State;
DeVos, whose education goals are driven by pure hate;
Interior and Energy, who want to
drill for oil,
And what’s his name, Ben Carson, who’s an idiotic foil,
And Mnuchin who believes himself a great economist —
Well, he never would be missed,
I know he’d not be missed!
(He never will be missed!
Mnuchin won’t be missed!
Like the others on this list,
I know he won’t be missed!)
There’s the son-in-law, young Jared,
He’s a nasty little creep
(But his wife I love a heap:
Ivanka I will keep!)
All leaders of the Congress,
Like the Turtle and the Ryan,
They think they’re very fine,
But they really crossed the line!
The “loyal opposition,”
Like the Chuck and Nancy Show;
My wives both past and present —
Every one is just a ho’ —
My children by Melania,
Ivana, Marla too,
They’re mostly Presbyterian
(Ivanka is a Jew).
And Sarah Huckster Sanders
Who can lie while looking pissed.
They’ll none of them be missed,
I know they’ll not be missed!
(These people won’t be missed!
That’s why they’re on the list,
For they’ll none of them be missed,
I know they won’t be missed!)
My former inner circle —
None of whom I ever met —
They all are in my debt!
They’re on the list, you bet!
There’s Bannon, Priebus, Spicer, Flynn,
And Comey (very louche)
And Tony Scaramouche
Who’s really quite a douche;
And biographers like Michael Wolff and Tony Schwartz and all,
And mogul Rupert Murdoch
Who just married Jerry Hall;
And writer Graydon Carter,
Who insulted finger length;
And all those pseudo-patriots
Who’d question Putin’s strength;
And CBS and CNN and MSNBC,
They’re on the list, you see!
They all insulted me!
(They all insulted him,
They must think Trump is dim;
But they’re all upon the list —
They made it on the list!)
chris
@oatler.: Structured water? I thought it was a tease but no! I am in the wrong business.
Spider-Dan
People are losing their minds over “raw water,” being tap water, but plenty of bottled water companies use municipal water supply (i.e. tap water) as their source and no one cares.
There is always a market for suckers to pay for water when they can get it out of their tap for approximately zero cents a pint. Domestically, I only buy bottled water in two circumstances:
1) for guests at my home to drink
2) when I need the bottle, not necessarily the water
Of course, when traveling internationally it’s a different story. But I find it rather ridiculous that we live in one of the few countries where the water is universally safe to drink*, and yet people still buy water at prices higher than gasoline.
*Situations like Flint are technically against the law.
Chet Murthy
@chris: I suspect that almost all immigrants to the US from (erm) less-developed countries, have these reflexes. I know that if I’d tried the five-second rule growing up, my parents would have whipped the snot out of it. Ditto for sharing the same glass/can with anyone. You just never did that. I recall my mom would never touch her lips to the soda can/bottle when drinking — b/c then it could be shared with someone else. I’d bet that the incidence of Herpes 1 (cold sores) is way lower in the immigrant population, than amongst the native population too (54%, per Wikipedia). B/c sharing sippy-cups ……
Basic public health practices. Matter so much when you don’t have access to massive Western medicine as a backstop.
Patricia Kayden
@schrodingers_cat: Hey, watch it!! Vitamixes are great machines. Love mine. Lol.
satby
@SiubhanDuinne: you are going to share that on FB so I can share it too aren’t you? Then I can bask in the reflected glory of knowing you (virtually).
dmsilev
People of my age, who grew up with 1980s video games, will remember this statement: “You have died of dysentery”.
Omnes Omnibus
@SiubhanDuinne: Mikado?
Another Scott
@SiubhanDuinne: Well done!
G&S is evergreen.
Have you seen A Modern SCO Executive? (I expect not, unless you were tuned in to the early IBM / SCO / Caldera / UNIX / Linux wars. ;-)
Cheers,
Scott.
Emma
@SiubhanDuinne: Brava!!! Brava!!! Encore!!!
dmsilev
So, if you take Live Water adherents and homeopaths and put them in the same room, would they mutually annihilate or combine to come up with an Even Stupider scheme for health?
RandomMonster
You know, I work in Silicon Valley, and I don’t know a person — even the wealthy ones — who would fall for this scam. “TechBro” is a convenient stereotype, but still just a stereotype.
Ruckus
@Chet Murthy:
Where do you think that companies like Coke and Nestle get their water? Nestle is taking about 30 million gallons out of the San Bernardino mts for their Arrowhead bottled water. (We built molds for their plastic 5 gallon bottles – long before Nestle bought it out) They are paying a $524 permit to the US Forest service for that 30 million gallons of water.
Omnes Omnibus
@RandomMonster: So is Boomer, Millennial, Gen-X, engineer, and lawyer.
frosty
@SiubhanDuinne: That was wonderful. And you know what I like the best? Every time you post something like this, not only does it rhyme, it SCANS!!! I get so tired of people who come up with ( for ex, limericks) with an extra syllable, yours are always right!
Schlemazel
@Chet Murthy:
But they were not claiming it was spring water taken from a specific spring.
Schlemazel
@Matt McIrvin:
SO nature is ahead of us on this!
Omnes Omnibus
@Omnes Omnibus: So are… God damn it.
RandomMonster
@Omnes Omnibus: Won’t argue! I dislike being categorized as a Boomer or a Gen-X (I’m one or the other, depending on who defines this crap), and I find the casual profiling of Millennials to be as tedious as when the media wanted to tell me my generation didn’t give a F about anything.
Lahke
@MobiusKlein: Was this a real joke with a punchline to be disclosed later, or a contest for the best one?
Um, you get a turkey baster with one sperm?
debbie
@Lahke:
This happens to every generation.
MobiusKlein
@Lahke: Something like that.
I have to work on a delivery / punchline that flows well. Haven’t got it right yet.
SiubhanDuinne
@satby:
Yeah, it’s up on FB. Thanks!
SiubhanDuinne
@Omnes Omnibus:
Yes, Koko’s “Little List” song from The Mikado. Infinitely parodyable.
SiubhanDuinne
@frosty:
Thank you!! I always sing them through to make sure they scan properly. I appreciate your noticing.
Luthe
@Ruckus: And yet Californians should limit their showers and refrain from watering their lawns.
Big corporations ruin *everything*.
Villago Delenda Est
@debbie: It’s been happening since at least Classical Greece, and most likely even before that. Dealing with masses is easier than individuals, so let’s pound these square pegs into round holes!
Fair Economist
@dmsilev:
That gives me a business idea – homeopathic Live Water! Just take Live Water and dilute a trillion to 1 with tap water. I’ve got the ad line already – All the benefits, none of the risk! (It has the advantage of being literally true.)
?BillinGlendaleCA
I’m selling a pet…rock, it comes with adoption papers, so you know it’s legit.
SiubhanDuinne
@Another Scott:
The references are very inside baseball, but it’s well done and doubtless generated many knowing laughs. Thanks for sharing. I live for this stuff.
Manxome Bromide
@dmsilev: See, now that we know where the water’s from it all makes sense! The water comes from Oregon, which means they made it to Oregon, which means they didn’t die of dysentery.
Villago Delenda Est
@Manxome Bromide: Flawlessly logical.
jl
The bottles are prettier than I thought they’d be.
How many companies are selling this, and are they all crooked, selling ordinary tap water when they say it is ‘natural’ water?
I bet tap water, even from Oregon, won’t turn green in a week. What a rip!
TommoRolassi
The same thing happened with raw milk a few years back. States were trying to enforce laws against selling raw milk, so some farmers sold shares in the cows so you were just drinking milk from a cow you (partially) owned. So they went after the farmers for violations of securities laws.
The whole problem took care of itself when al the shareholders got diarrhea for a week and never wanted to touch raw milk again.
Plarry
I think all of you are being too hard on people who want to get their vitamin B-12 naturally.
Dog Dawg Damn
@SiubhanDuinne: Which patter song is this a parody of?
And did you see the “Very Stable Genius” rendering of “Modern Major General” going around on Twitter. Brilliant.
I am the very model of a Very Stable Genius.
I have a mighty button and no problems with my penius.
I have no time for television, golf, or social media
Since my brain is way way better than the best encyclopedia.
I like to tweet the lies of racist grievances historical
When Russian ties are mentioned I deny them categorical
I do not feel the sting of words because I am avenious
I am the very model of a Very Stable Genius!
I’m cutting tax, I’ll build a wall, I’ll take away their medicare
You can trust me ‘cos I’m orange and I have the most amazing hair.
So with my total ignorance of matters heterogeneous
I am the very model of a Very Stable Genius!
Compared to other leaders, my behavior’s quite unusual
My twisted tweets and pissed-on sheets have managed to amuse you all
I have to drink two-handed ‘cause my fingers are the teeniest
I need a sippy-cup with the inscription “Stable Genius.”
Lots more where that came from over at:
https://twitter.com/huntthesnark/status/949640355615473666
Boatboy_srq
@Omnes Omnibus: You mean you’re on the market and for sale or lease to techbros?
…should we ask your hourly rate?
/oh-my
Boatboy_srq
@Spider-Dan: Here in NoVA the tap water is potable but not exactly attractive (chlorine treatment is occasionally noticeable). As a result, it’s eady to tell sane people from antigummint Teahadis at the grocery: ordinary folks buy Britas to filter out the chlorine, Teahadis buy the Zerowater filters because did-you-know-the-UN-is-putting-mind-controlling-fluoride-in-there.
Boatboy_srq
@Dog Dawg Damn: @SiubhanDuinne: I’ve Got A Little List, from The Mikado.
Gilbert and Sullivan, were they alive today, would have an embarrassment of riches from this maladministration alone.
Boatboy_srq
@Plarry:
1978: If you visit a developing country, don’t drink the water; if you visit a developed country, don’t breathe the air.
2018: “Clean Air” is an overrated gummint exaggeration, and here’s a bottle of delicious unfiltered organic water from our mysterious-yet-safe source that’s perfectly good to drink.
Cermet
When I learned that there are groups here who think drinking their own urine is healthy and a treatment for “X”, I just give up on these utter assholes. I’d say let them eat shit and die but that might just start a new fad for these complete tRump’s (aka ass-wipes too dumb to exist .)
MattF
Thread still seems to have some life, so I have an offer: I will put real money on the proposition that, sometime in the near future, it will be discovered that the real source of the ‘raw’ water that’s selling at a high multiple of municipal water has been the faucet in someone’s kitchen. It’s ‘way safer than ‘natural’ sources, after all.
Chip Daniels
The biggest scam here is the most dangerous.
There is a concerted effort to convince people that municipal water is either bad, or unreliable, and they we must switch to paying vast sums for privately held water.
Flint aside, most municipal water is safe and good tasting, or can be with minor effort.
But the staggering profits awaiting the privatization of water is too tempting.
LAllen
My hometown is 12 miles from Montgomery and drew its’ water from an an aquifer which produced an overflowing well in almost every backyard. No one liked to drink water in Montgomery when we went there since it was chlorinated river water. We could taste the chlorine. Known as the “Fountain City” , artesian wells everywhere.
Marcia
There must be someone, somewhere, I can sell raw air to.