What a lovely way of saying how much you love me

For my money, this is a little weirder than whatever Al Franken did:

Rep. Trent Franks, an Arizona Republican who is among the most conservative members of the House, said he would resign his seat after House officials learned that he had asked two female employees to bear his child as a surrogate.

While we’re at it…what’s the over/under on the total number of wetsuits that come up in the complaints against Republican Congressmen?






69 replies
  1. 1
    mike in dc says:

    With or without dildos, Doug?

  2. 2
    B.B.A. says:

    All of them, Katie.

  3. 3
    SiubhanDuinne says:

    total number of wetsuits that come up in the complaints against Republican Congressmen?

    All of them, Katie. SATSQ.

    ETA: Fist at B.B.A., shakes.

  4. 4
    Shalimar says:

    Why do I think Franks asked them to have sex with him to get pregnant with the surrogate child?

  5. 5
    Jim, Foolish Literalist says:

    I doubt this is all there is to the Franks story

  6. 6
    dmsilev says:

    I’m sure right now there are some right-wingers saying “he didn’t ask them to get abortions, so it’s all good”.

  7. 7

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: “Actually, I’m Leonard Lake. That guy you took in who committed suicide all those years back was actually a body double.”

  8. 8
    hellslittlestangel says:

    I guess Franks wanted the women to think sex would be as much of a chore for him as for them?

  9. 9
  10. 10

    I’m not going to go with all of them. I’m going to go with all of them who obsess about sex. The economic terrorists like Paul Ryan aren’t going to find themselves caught up in wetsuits, unless it involves digging up Ayn Rand or Ludwig von Mises to stuff them into one.

  11. 11
    Mike in NC says:

    Watching “Psych: The Movie” on USA Network. It was a cute show while it lasted. They’ve moved the locale from Santa Barbara to San Francisco. Wife says it’s corny but sweet.

  12. 12
    dr. bloor says:

    I can’t imagine a greater honor in life than bearing the child of Trey Gowdy’s older, uglier, and dumber brother.

  13. 13
    mike in dc says:

    @Smedley Darlington Prunebanks (formerly Mumphrey, et al.):
    I would peg people like Paul Ryan for financial shenanigans, most likely. There’s a big payday for him, someday, somehow, related to dismantling the safety net and handing the keys to the treasury to the donor class.

  14. 14
    Humdog says:

    As an ardent abortion prohibitor, he should have been looking into adoption, not surrogacy. How creepy! “Would you pick up my dry cleaning and allow me to borrow your uterus for a year or so? I have only recently been made aware this made them uncomfortable?” Gah!

  15. 15
    Amir Khalid says:

    I have never understood the adulation for Paul Anka’s songwriting.

    If Mr and Mrs Franks were looking for a surrogate mother, wouldn’t the normal course of action be a chat with Mrs Franks’ obstetrician? A doctor in that field would have known which organisations could help, and might even assist them in getting in touch.

  16. 16
    ginger says:

    Who took my eye bleach? I thought I successfully put the wetsuits out of my mind.

    Next thing you know Doug is going to bring up skull-fucking kittens again.

  17. 17
    dr. bloor says:

    @Amir Khalid: C’mon. What says true love and dedication to a marriage like walking in the door with an infant and telling your wife, “Look what Inge, my twenty-two year old aid from Sweden, and I made for you?”

  18. 18
    Gin & Tonic says:

    I don’t understand the snark and disrespect toward wetsuits. It’s a personal preference, on the latex spectrum, and I don’t think we should judge.

  19. 19
    AliceBlue says:

    Thanks for that ghastly earworm.

  20. 20
    Duane says:

    @Shalimar: He’s not interested in having a child. “Would you have my baby” is a pick up line older than Franks. He thought he was being cute, or funny. Sorry, asshole.

  21. 21
    Ridnik Chrome says:

    Doug: I’m old enough to remember when that god-awful Paul Anka song was a top forty hit. If “1984” ever happens in real life, that song, along with “Sometimes When We Touch” and “Total Eclipse of the Heart”, played on an endless loop, is what will be waiting for me in Room 101.

  22. 22
    Aleta says:

    @Shalimar: Why do I think Franks asked them to have sex with him to get pregnant with the surrogate child?

    Because he wanted them to pretend they were sisters having a pillow fight in their hotel room when rodeo cowboy Frank Trentman accidentally walks in?
    (Just a guess)

  23. 23
    B.B.A. says:

    @Gin & Tonic: People are entitled to their sexual proclivities…

    I’ve referenced this a couple of times here. It’s a useful counterargument to pretty much anything: “what about crocodiles?”

  24. 24
    Millard Filmore says:

    @Duane:

    He’s not interested in having a child.

    “Can I wear a condom while we give this baby making thing a shot?”

  25. 25
    Jim, Foolish Literalist says:

    @Ridnik Chrome: cromulent to the season: (Simply Having) A Wonderful Christmas Time

  26. 26
    hueyplong says:

    @mike in dc: “I would peg people like Paul Ryan…”

    I wouldn’t.

    Your comment was related to the wetsuits thing, right?

  27. 27
    Mai.naem.mobile says:

    Trent Frank’s has been around AZ politics for a long time. He’s like the local total RW nutjob going on about abortion,gay rights, evolution etc. Ugh. Glad he’s going to be gone but ua guessing he will end up on the Wingnut Welfare Circuit.

  28. 28
    Kay says:

    NEW: Zinke didn’t want to miss horseback riding with the VP, so he booked a $6,250 government helicopter to avoid traffic.

    He took a helicopter to go horseback riding. They’re like some crazy monarchy, the Trump Administration. It’s not just wasteful spending- it’s decadent. It’s like they all took those jobs and said “let’s get as much free stuff as we can grab!”

  29. 29
    Duane says:

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: Worse Christmas song in history. Even the greats have an off day.

  30. 30
    Miss Bianca says:

    @Ridnik Chrome: “Let’s Get Physical” on that loop or GET OUT!

  31. 31
    Kay says:

    In an email to Interior travel scheduler Tim Nigborowicz, an Interior employee justified Zinke’s using the helicopter rather than a less expensive method by saying “the Secretary will be able to familiarize himself with the in-flight capabilities of an aircraft he is in charge of” and that the Park Police staff on board would “provide an added measure of security to the Secretary during his travel.”
    The former Montana congressman and Navy SEAL is already being investigated by the Interior Department’s inspector general and the independent Office of Special Counsel for his mixing of official travel and political events. Interior earlier this year released records documenting Zinke’s use of charter and military aircraft, including a $12,000 flight from Las Vegas to Montana that allowed him to give a speech for a hockey team owned by a major campaign donor.

    I think I’m fairly shameless but Zinke would not be able to make me say he took the helicopter to familiarize himself with the in-flight capabilities. I would have to refuse that order. Forget my boss- it’s too embarrassing for me.

  32. 32
    Emma says:

    @Ridnik Chrome: you terrorist. How dare you remind me of that dreck?

  33. 33
    danielx says:

    @Smedley Darlington Prunebanks (formerly Mumphrey, et al.):

    Really glad I had dinner before reading that.

  34. 34
    trollhattan says:

    @Amir Khalid:

    …adulation for Paul Anka’s songwriting

    This is not extant on this planet.

    His accidental coup was penning the instrumental theme for Carson’s Tonight Show, which harvested him royalties for an astonishing thirty years.

  35. 35
    danielx says:

    @Ridnik Chrome:

    I see that and raise by Tie A Yellow Ribbon Around The Old Oak Tree.

  36. 36
    trollhattan says:

    @Kay:
    Speaking of Zinke, mad, yuge props for Patagonia saying what they really feel.

    If “corporations are people” this one deserves a place at the table.

  37. 37
    hueyplong says:

    @danielx:

    Watching Scotty Grow

    [mic drop]

  38. 38

    @danielx: I actually saw Tony Orlando and Dawn sing that at the 1973 Boy Scout Jamboree.

  39. 39
    John Revolta says:

    @Ridnik Chrome: Don’t let’s forget “Afternoon Delight”!
    Damn song totally put me off having sex in the daytime.
    Well, briefly.

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: That’s bad, but it ain’t nothin’ compared to “Admiral Halsey”. It’s like four or five awful songs in one!

  40. 40
    Doug! says:

    @Ridnik Chrome:

    Total Eclipse Of The Heart is a good song.

  41. 41
    Lapassionara says:

    @Kay: This. I was thinking about the French Revolution just now driving in the car, and how, if there is an analogy there, we have managed to get rid of Danton and Marat, but somehow have failed to deal with the King.

  42. 42
    John Revolta says:

    @hueyplong: Watching Scotty Grow

    I’ll see that and raise you “Honey”

  43. 43
    frosty says:

    @Emma:

    you terrorist. How dare you remind me of that dreck?

    No shit! We’re at the mercy of Earworm Jihadis.

  44. 44
    Kay says:

    I think what people are missing about Moore is he can’t survive an ethics inquiry in the senate- NOT for child molesting- but for repeatedly lying. They won’t be able to prove he molested those girls but Moore wasn’t satisfied with giving vague answers – he took it further. He repeatedly lied about knowing them. They will be able to get him on that and that’s enough.

    He knows them. They’ll be able to produce evidence that he knows them. It isn’t a criminal trial. They don’t have to convict him of child molesting. They just have to prove he lied to cover it up.

    There are lots and lots of child molesters, but the thing is when they’re caught they don’t deny encountering the child. They instead deny the substance of the charges- they say they didn’t molest. They don’t deny encountering or knowing the child because that’s the ONE part of child molesting that involves witnesses.

    He should start praying Jones wins. This gets much worse for him when the campaign is over.

  45. 45
    hueyplong says:

    @John Revolta: No one can claim a worse pair than Mr Goldsboro.

  46. 46
    Miss Bianca says:

    @John Revolta: Aw, I actually like “Admiral Halsey”. But then, I also like “I’m ‘Enery the Eighth, I Am”, so it’s quite possible my taste is suspect.

    @Kay: Oh, you mad, impetuous optimist. You really think Moore would be in trouble? I sure don’t.

  47. 47
    sharl says:

    Erick Erick Erick Erick son of Erick knows what’s up, and he thinks y’all are making too much of this:

    I have actually put a lot of thought into saying this. Based on his public statement, Trent Franks had no business resigning, which suggests there is more there. And if so, it is shameful to see him hide behind infertility and surrogacy.— Erick Erickson (@EWErickson) December 8, 2017

    I’m left a bit flummoxed by this, but fortunately the Federalist Pitchbot seems to understand:

    I have actually put a lot of thought into this statement. Babies aren't going to conceive themselves but jet fuel doesn't melt steel if you know what I mean.https://t.co/zFst6iCyyt— Federalist PitchBot (@FederalistPitch) December 8, 2017

    A lot of mutual inspiration and sparking of ideas on twitter regarding this Trent Frank news. Whoever writes the eventual Federalist piece only needs to copy-&-paste, and they’ll have their article.

    “You know who else had her boss’ baby? That’s right: Mary, the mother of Jesus.”— Brandt (@UrbanAchievr) December 8, 2017

  48. 48
    Repatriated says:

    @Doug!: Redeemed by its Literal Video Version.

  49. 49
    Steeplejack says:

    @Gin & Tonic:

    “Latex Spectrum”: maybe not a band name, but early, edgy album title at least.

  50. 50
    B.B.A. says:

    @Kay: Knowing the Republicans, they won’t even bother scheduling an ethics committee hearing.

    Knowing Moore, he’ll do something flagrantly unconstitutional his first day in office.

    And knowing the Republicans, they won’t even bother investigating him for that, either.

  51. 51
    Quinerly says:

    @🐾BillinGlendaleCA: I actually saw Tony Orlando sing that song without Dawn in 1995 in Branson. I’m embarrassed that I have admitted it to you. Please don’t tell anyone.

  52. 52
    Yarrow says:

    @Amir Khalid: The obstetrician would refer them to a Reproductive Endocrinologist. That doctor and/or the fertility clinic would then discuss options with them. Finding a surrogate is not necessarily a simple matter. There really aren’t a lot of organisations to help.The clinic may have a list. People have been known to ask around to find someone.

    @Humdog: According to Franks’ statement, he and his wife had several adoptions fall through.

    @sharl: Can’t believe I’m agreeing with Erick son of Erick, but I do agree with him that I don’t think Franks resigned because he asked women about surrogacy. There’s more there.

  53. 53
    Ridnik Chrome says:

    @Doug!: The line “Turn around, bright eyes” always makes me think of this.

  54. 54
    John Revolta says:

    @Miss Bianca: ” ‘Enery the Eighth” is a bit of allright. I likes a bit o’music hall now & again.
    Prefer the Stanley Holloway version though.

  55. 55
    AliceBlue says:

    @John Revolta:
    How about “Cat’s In the Cradle”?

  56. 56
    Ridnik Chrome says:

    @AliceBlue: A decent song that got ruined for all eternity (for me, anyway) by excessive radio play.

  57. 57
    Luthe says:

    @John Revolta: “Brandy”

  58. 58
    Jim, Foolish Literalist says:

    @Luthe: ever since the Selma Bouvier cover, I have a perverse affection for that song

  59. 59
    John Revolta says:

    @AliceBlue: What Ridnik said.
    Also “Taxi” too.

    @Luthe: Oddly, I don’t hate that one all that much. I think it’s the guy’s voice that I like.

  60. 60
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Lapassionara: Who is our Danton? Who is our Marat?

  61. 61
    Steeplejack says:

    @Quinerly:

    Forget you! The key political question is: was Poco there? This could affect Baud! 2020!

  62. 62
  63. 63
    Mnemosyne says:

    @Luthe:

    Don’t rent Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2. That song plays a pivotal role.

  64. 64
    Steeplejack says:

    @Luthe:

    Okay, you’re DQ’d. “Brandy” is a perfectly cromulent pop ballad. Great vocal, great electric piano. Lyrics not excessively saccharine for the genre and its time. No way it should be lumped with that other dreck.

  65. 65
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Steeplejack: I generally hate sugary dreck. “Brandy” is a good song.

  66. 66
    Steeplejack says:

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Srsly. Not the greatest song ever, but certainly respectable and able to hold its head up in polite society.

  67. 67
    Boudica says:

    Dreck Austin Roberts’ Rocky: https://youtu.be/lQm9u21dCvI

  68. 68
    lowtechcyclist says:

    @Steeplejack:

    @Luthe:

    Okay, you’re DQ’d. “Brandy” is a perfectly cromulent pop ballad. Great vocal, great electric piano. Lyrics not excessively saccharine for the genre and its time. No way it should be lumped with that other dreck.

    Great vocal?!

    The vocals are fine on the chorus, but in the verses, he sounds like he’s singing through a mouthful of mush. I heard that song innumerable times during the 1980s and 90s (back before the days of Googling the lyrics) and all I could tell about the verses after the first one was that they were attempting to describe Brandy’s back story. But what her story was, who could tell?

    But I’d still put “Brandy” in the category of “inoffensive, if not for being overplayed into the ground.” Not like, say, Bobby Goldsboro’s “Honey” where one listen is already too many.

  69. 69
    laura says:

    @Ridnik Chrome: Afternoon Delight. Just sayin’

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